Date: Mon, 24 Jan 2011 03:54:34 -0500 From: Matt Lawrenceson Subject: "What's Love Chapter 1" (Gay Male/ High School) "What Love?" By: Matt Lawrenceson Usual Disclaimers Apply all characters are fiction. Must be over 18, if not then leave (but I can't really stop you lol. (Jayme) Where do I begin? By now you can guess my name is Jayme (Lol) but everyone calls me Jay. By everyone, I mean my best friend...that I still had that is. After junior year, I am sitting here in the cafeteria, by myself if I may say so, why? Because my friends have different lunch periods. Depression sucks. Junior year, I was happy as anyone can be. I landed a 2 year, $65,000 scholarship to the college of my choice and made my one year anniversary with Michael. But now? I am the smartest kid in school, I never played sports being just 5'6 I am also one of the shortest people in the school. Technically and Literally, I can destroy anyone..with my mind that is, and yet I managed to fall in love with Mikey? What did he ever see in me. Senior Year has twisted my life upside down. I lost my scholarship because I hadn't lived in the state long enough...go figure, and the government claims they care. Emotionally and Socially I broke down, I couldn't handle this pain. I closed myself from everyone, including my boyfriend. "Jay, babe..whats wrong? Please talk to me.." Mike said "I just...cant" I managed to stutter out "I just cant.." After that, I laid my eyes on the table just trying to tune everything out. "It's been over a year since we've been dating, and you can't tell me whats going on in your life???" Mike managed to explode and scream 'I just cant do this,...I think we need a break." I looked at Mike, just looking at the time we managed to spend together and I single-handely destroyed it. I love him, and I know it. But, recently, it had died out? Or maybe, just maybe my depression overshadowed that once bright flame. When one candle dies, another is born right? Brandon started talking to me in late July..right after.....the incident. He would come to my house, we would talk and he would leave. He didn't push me. Thats what I wanted, and by the end of August he made me open up to him, how? I dont even know. But once September came, he was my best friend and only ally in this highschool. Do I like him? I don't know..I really don't feel anything more, and Mikey's break up with me has made me sink faster. I dont know what Im doing, I just feel like dying...This was the thought as the first day flew on through my basic classes (I took AP, Honors classes Freshman through Junior year..I can relax!) and walked on home with this one thought that seemed like a good one. (Michael) Being the highschool quaterback has its' advantages and disadvantages. I am 6'2, one of the tallest kids at Eastside High School, and I am beloved by all. I fell head over heels with my baby, Jay: The love of my life. But lately, he has closed me off from his life. I suspect something happened that summer, something big to crush him, and all I wanted to do was help him. He was hurting, his eyes..those bright light brown eyes had grown dull and lost all energy. I still love him, but I could see it..he was losing his love for me, and I knew it was whatever happened to him..but I couldn't stop it. It was a snowball going down a hill, getting bigger and bigger until it hit. That first day...was the hardest of my life. I had to tell him it was over, he needs to get his life together. I can't help him, I pushed and pushed and he still refushed to open up to me. In the end, I broke it off with him. I can still remember the words I told him: "...I think we need a break" which was so cliche I know, but it was the best way. He looked at me with those pleading eyes, filled with tears and I knew I was adding to his heartache but truthfully? I can't handle his emotional avalanche. I cut the cord before he could do it to me, yes, I was protecting myself. Right now, I am hanging out in Brandon's house. Brandon is my best friend, hes on the same football team as I. This guy is as straight as they come, but I have seen him become closer and closer with Jay. My bestfriend and my boyfriend..well ex being close before I broke up with them didn't really bother me but suspicions were always there and they were squashed when I saw Brandon on another date. Now? I still have no suspicions but am happy someone can take care of my little guy, and when he gets hid head screwed on right..I'll be back on his side. My future with him is one that I've planned out, and since it was only the first day, I skipped school after lunch and just went home to spend my entire day thinking. (Brandon) Everyone calls me a stud. Rippling muscles, an almost 8 pack and one of the most popular guys at 6 ft tall. God damn it, I hate having to had this fiscade. People thought I dated and had sex with all these girls, but I never could. Why? I'm gay. And do you want to know the worst part? I'm in love with my best friend's boy. My best friend, and the guy I'm in love with. Cross the line, or no? No one needed to answer this question for me, and neither did I! Why? Something happened to my Jay..I don't know what but he is so down on himself and withdrawn, I can't help but just break for him. I walked into the cafe on the first day and saw him...down on himself and no one sitting with him, not even his own boyfriend. Speaking of which, Michael was just watching him with the sadest look on his eyes. "Mike, whats wrong?" I asked "Today's the day..I just can't take it anymore" He said "..I'm breaking up with him" 'What????" See, even though our school is tolerant, Mike broke social barriers just to go out with Jayme and he didn't even care, the football team eventually grew on him. So, for them to break up would cause waves through the social news. And guess what, .. Since I'm part of the football team, I also managed to grow on him. But, after checking his facebook daily, and reading his notes. I knew what happened to him,..he lost his scholarship to the TOP school in the state. How could a kid that has worked so hard have everything taken from him? This happened right in the middle of the summer, if you decipher one of his notes that he wrote in July, it was clear what happened, yet Michael couldn't pick it up? C'mon on now..and the signs of his worsening depression is clearly showing. So I did what I could, I started talking to him, and by September I was his best friend, one of the few who still talked to him and probably the only one who would remain friends with him after the breakup. -- Hey guys, this is my first story. It'll probably be a short story, but if you have any comments or suggestions just email me. The character POV's will be longer, so don't worry about that. ;)