J. H. P. Cash, 367

When I Were Nowt But a Lad 1

My public school had an associated prep school, but also three junior boarding houses within, but to some extent organisationally distanced from, the 'Big School'. One would typically join one of these houses at 11 and move up to a 'Big School' house at 13. My family lived in South East Asia at the time. 'Home Leaves' were tri-annual. My parents wanted to be around when I started at boarding school and so I joined one of the junior houses for the Summer Term of 1969 at the age of ten and a half, in order to fit in with a 'Home Leave'.

I was in a small dormitory of eight boys. They already knew each well, and most of them were a year or so older than I was. I didn't fit in particularly well, but the boy in the bed next to mine (which was in a corner) was a nice guy. His nickname was "Dab" and he was more protective of and helpful to me than the 'Uncle' allocated to me from the year above, supposedly to ease my initiation into boarding school life.

It was Dab who kindly taught me how to "wank properly". At home I had, for a couple of years or so, been occasionally moved to push down my pyjama bottoms and rub my stiff prick against the bottom sheet. I had occasionally experimented with putting my finger or a pencil up my bottom while doing this. When my parents gave me a pamphlet called "The Facts of Life" to read just before I went to boarding school, I gained some understanding of what I was doing when writhing against the bottom sheet.

Dab observed my writhing after Lights Out one night (it was summer and so not dark at bedtime) and asked what I was doing. I said something about "making my willy feel nice".

"Oh, that's a babyish way off doing it. You should be wanking properly," Dab said, and swung over to sit on the edge of my bed. He pulled down my bedclothes and got me to turn over.

"And it's your cock, not your willy," he said, taking hold of it between two fingers and a thumb. When another boy said something about "queering", Dab explained that I didn't know how to wank properly and he was just showing me, and that seemed to be acceptable. Dab demonstrated how I should rub my cock and pull my foreskin up and down - being a "Cavalier" (uncircumcised, as opposed to circumcised "Roundheads"), he explained, was much better, "'cos your foreskin rubs on your knobhead." Dab started wanking me slowly and asked if it felt nice. I said that it did and he said, "Do yourself. Then I can see if you're doing right."

I started but apparently wasn't doing it very well, because Dab told me to move over and got in bed with me, untying his pyjama cord and getting his cock out. He showed me the correct method on himself, and then we practised on each other. Neither of us could come at that time, so I think we just went on until we got tired or sore or something.

Dab and I wanked each other fairly regularly after that and by the end of that first term I think I'd probably wanked with three other boys in the dorm. Dab and I used to cuddle and rub against each other sometimes too, but that was a little too queer for most boys.

The following term (the first of the new school year) I stayed down in a junior (first year) dormitory, as I was only just eleven, although I remained in classes with the older year. This meant that Dab and I had to sneak round to the other's dorm after Lights Out, or else find other places to meet. We used to deliberately wait until late in the afternoon after Games on half-holidays (Wednesdays and Saturdays) before going to the house showers, so that we could shower together, alone. It was an old-fashioned shower room, with several shower heads along a wall in a tiled room. There, despite the possibility of someone wandering in, we were able to get a little "queerer", soaping each other and rubbing our soapy bodies and stiff cocks together. Pissing competitions turned into a very light version of piss play in the shower room too.

The junior boarding Houses had monitors from Big School Houses - usually Lower Sixth Form (1st year Sixth Form) boys being groomed to be monitors in their senior Houses. Only one of them actually slept in our junior House, in a bed-sit in the Senior Dormitory. The boy preforming that role in my second year had a bit of a crush on Dab. Dab liked him too, and I discovered that they were having it off together when Dab started getting more experimental in his sex with me. One afternoon in the showers he suggested that I suck his cock, telling me that Steve had done it to him. I remember being slightly surprised that considerably older and younger boys could do this sort of thing together, but I liked sucking Dab's cock, and having him suck me. I only became slightly jealous of Dab and Steve's relationship when one night I crept up to the Senior Dorm and got into bed with Dab, only to have Steve come out of his bed-sit a few minutes later and tell Dab to go to his bed-sit and me to go back to my own bed.

The following year Dab moved up to his Big School House, conveniently the one of which Steve was then House Captain. Dab and I continued to be friends as we still went to many lessons together, but we didn't have sex together again until I moved up to the same Big School House the following year. I remember Dab trying to explain to me how close he felt to Steve and how sad he was that Steve was leaving at the end of the year. He explained that in Big School there were some 'Big Boys' who had special friendships with 'Little Boys'. Dab was Steve's 'Little Boy' and Steve was Dab's 'Big Boy'. He asked me if I understood what he meant and I said I did, although I didn't really, until a little later. I remember the conversation very clearly, though. We were sitting on the beach on a half-holiday afternoon, supposedly revising for end-of-year exams.


Apart from showers with Dab and the occasional visit to his dormitory, I had mutual wanking sessions with boys my own age in the junior dormitory in which I remained during my second school year. Since I was in the academic year above, however, I didn't really fit in well with the new boys and preferred to spend time with my classmates. Dab and I were by now quite keen on sucking each other, and continued to cuddle and rub against each other affectionately when in bed together. Later in the year he told me that he and Steve kissed each other when having sex, and I remember being slightly amazed and very excited. A few nights later I tried kissing Dab on the neck and shoulder when we were rubbing our cocks against each other. It was great nuzzling him - it felt very secure and comforting. Dab asked if I wanted to really kiss, and so we started doing the specific act that made you "really queer". Amongst most of our fellows throughout our time at school there was a sort-of scale of nastiness applied to sex acts, but kissing was somehow especially confusing and concerning.

We got a bit of flack when someone else observed us kissing, but we survived it. Most boys were at least playing around. Dab's relationship with Steve was implicitly acknowledged.

Something that to me now is quite interesting was how I could be relatively advanced sexually with Dab, but also just enjoy lying next to an age-mate, both of us just wanking our own cocks, without my feeling the need to take things any further. I suppose that's not really surprising, actually, is it? Some boys would be happy to wank off with you, but would think that sucking was really dirty.

We used to have a "lie-in" on Sunday mornings - an extra hour in bed. We tended to wake up at the usual time anyway, and the extra hour was used for reading, chatting or playing games. There were sometimes dormitory "raids" and traditional pillow fights. One Sunday morning boys from the Senior dormitory raided ours and "captured" a couple of us, taking us back to the Senior Dorm. They had metal bunk beds in the Senior dorm and I was, struggling unconvincingly, stripped of my pyjamas and had my hands tied to the uprights of a bunk with dressing gown cords, so that I was on my back secured in the lower bunk. My ankles were then tied and a couple of senior boys (well, a year older) took turns "raping" me by lying on me and thrusting against me. My cock was of course stiff and I was lightly mocked for enjoying it. One of the bigger boys, with whom I'd never previously done anything, took a turn. No one else was naked, but Simon's cock was big enough to be very obvious in his pyjamas and particularly exciting as he thrust it against my belly and thighs. He was a little more serious and concentrated than the previous two boys had been, and grunted a little as he "raped" me. I really don't remember exactly what happened, but when he'd finished with me I noticed, as he got up, a damp patch on the front of his pyjamas and a small smear on one side of my stomach.

Dab had of course explained to me about Steve "spunking" when they had sex together, but this was my first experience of another boy coming when having sex with me. This made Simon fascinating to me, and I was keen to try to make him come again. He was fairly cool and rather disdainfully ignored my attempts to get him to play over the next few days. Eventually I persuaded him to come and have a shower with me an Dab one half-holiday afternoon. Simon initially just wanked himself as he watched Dab and I playing with each other, not even letting either of us play with his cock. When I got down on my knees to suck Dab, however, Simon moved in closer and told me to do him too. Even then I realised that I got off on being ordered to perform for him. Sex with Dab was always quite sweet. With Simon it was always more one-sided and he was more demanding. Partly to do with his basic personality, I suppose, but also to do with the fact that he had reached puberty and had pubic hair, a big cock (well big to me as an eleven year-old) and could "spunk up". That first time I only got to suck him for a little while before his pulled out and quickly wanked himself 'til he came. He left Dab and I to it.

I was very impressed by Simon's spunking, even though Dab said that it was nothing compared with Steve. I didn't really like Simon very much, but I became slightly obsessed with him sexually. He always remained cool and somewhat aloof, but eventually he became as likely as I to suggest that I come to his bed after Lights Out or give him a quick suck in the bogs at morning break. Dab and I were in top sets for most subjects and Simon, well, wasn't. So we were a little mocking of him sometimes. But sexually, with me, he was always quite dominant. He liked telling me what to do and I enjoyed doing what he told me. When I went to his bed he'd sometimes tell me to take my pyjamas off by the side of the bed before getting in with him. Sometimes he would squeeze my cock as I had to stand there at "attention" before being allowed to get under the covers. He did wank and suck me, but he seemed to much more enjoy getting me to suck him.

One afternoon in the showers when I was down on my knees sucking Simon, he told me to lick his balls. This was new, and very enjoyable. Simon just watched me as I licked away, then started wanking himself. He didn't move away when he came this time, just spurted in my face. I wiped my face and, wanking myself, tasted his spunk. It was terribly exciting to be kneeling there in front of a bigger, mature boy with his spunk on my face.

I started writing my sexual memoirs at the request of an online undergraduate friend who had been to an all-boys private day school at which there was little sex between the boys. He was keen to hear about "what went on at boarding school".

There's more, if others enjoy this as much as my undergraduate friend did.

Email: spelchek@hushmail.com