J. H. P. Cash, 367

When I Were Nowt But a Lad 2

The person who initiated the writing of these memoirs commented, after reading the first section, that I had been lucky in the fun that I'd had at boarding school. This was my response:

[Yes, well, sticking to the sex/relationship side of things IS probably giving something of a bias to the story. Actually, I was quite unhappy for most of the time I have recounted so far. Being the only new boy that first term was difficult enough. The school was in the North of England and most boys, however wealthy their parents, had Northern accents. I had what might have been called a "colonial" accent. I was a bit of a prig and went on a bit, I think, about how much better my home in South East Asia was than Britain. It was 1969 and I had no idea that England had won the World Cup in 1966... I was bullied as both a "wog" and as a "snob".

Dab was a considerable refuge.

The following year I moved up an academic year (originally it had been intended that I'd stay with the new boys). So I went to classes with the older boys but was officially a Junior. And the year after that was even stranger, because I was an academic year above the other Seniors in the junior House, but because my birthday is in early September and age groups for Games were decided on the basis of your age on 1st September, I played rugby, hockey and cricket with boys mostly two academic years below me. I was 12 for most of that year, but played in the "Under 12s".

I ran away at the end of that first term - not going anywhere, as there was nowhere to go to - just took of for the day and walked to a nearby town and hung around feeling sorry for myself. I just walked back to the school when it began to get dark.

I continued to feel isolated and very homesick until I finally moved up to the Big School was where Dab was. There I was put in the same dormitory as the boys I went to classes with, skipping the Junior Dorm, had a study with Dab and another boy I liked (who as a very clever scholarship boy with a proper Yorkshire accent was also a bit of an "outsider"). By then I had also got used to being 8000 miles away from my parents.

Oddly enough (not perhaps not, given what I've just said) I remember very little about my Senior year in the Junior House. Spending much of the day in lessons with boys who were then in Big School, having different teachers and different prep to those around me in the boarding House I suppose I was a bit isolated. I'm sure that I must have at least wanked off with a few other boys, but there are no clear enough memories of anything in particular.

The following year in Big School made up for it a bit.]

I don't remember a great deal specifically from my Senior year in the Junior House - the year that I was twelve. Towards the end of the year I had my first sexual encounters with a considerably older boy, about which I'll write a little later (most of our sexual encounters actually took place the following year). I have some very distinct memories of some encounters with Simon, but I honestly can't remember whether they come from that year or the following one, when I moved up to Big School. Whichever year it was, Simon and I where in different houses and so had to find somewhere else relatively private to meet up for sex.

Each weekday evening between Prep and bedtime we had "Choice", during which there were various organised extra-curricular activities on offer, or else you were supposed to "study or read quietly". It was fairly easy, however, to pretend that you were going out to some activity but not actually do so. It was during Choice that Simon arranged for us to meet on several occasions in the toilets ("bogs") attached to the cricket pavilion and once in the Gazebo - a strange tower folly which had no real purpose other than providing a base for the school flagpole.

These sessions are memorable to me for several reasons. The first is that Simon always insisted that I take all my clothes off (usually this would just be games kit) whereas he never stripped completely. I still find it very exciting to be completely naked whilst a dominant man is fully or partially clothed while playing with me. I fell as easily into being submissive with Simon as he seemed to be able to move into being sexually dominant. Whilst most sexual explorations with other boys were, at least at first, cautious and did not involve a lot of talking, I loved the way the Simon told me what to do and moved things on without embarrassment.

Simon would tell me to strip off apart from my socks and gym pumps. This usually meant taking off my track suit (it was winter and cold!) and then my rugby shorts and shirt. We weren't allowed to wear anything under our rugby shorts unless it was a jock strap, and I hardly needed one of those at this time. We'd embrace and I'd rub myself against him until he told me kneel down and pull down his tracksuit bottoms and shorts. He'd then tell me to lick his balls and suck his cock. He also got me to rim him. At first he just turned around as I knelt there and told me to lick and kiss his arse cheeks. I found this very exciting, but was uncertain when Simon pulled his buttocks open and told me to kiss his arsehole. I think that at first the order was more of an attraction than the actual act, but I found that it was not all that bad kissing another boy's arsehole. Simon told me to lick him. I soon got to enjoy rimming him (especially since he seemed to enjoy it so much too) even though I didn't know that it was called that for quite a while.

Simon had previously withdrawn before coming when I'd sucked him, although he had on one occasion cum on my face while I was licking his balls. Now he decided that he wanted to "spunk up" in my mouth. That was the term he used - "I'm going to spunk up in your mouth, OK?" he said as I was sucking him one evening. I stopped sucking for a second and just said, "Yeah. OK." He came only a few seconds later, and it never occurred to me to do other than swallow his spunk, although I remember Simon expressing a little surprise that I did so.

The other thing that Simon introduced during these sessions was more arseplay. He told me to turn around, bend forward and spread my arse. He would push a spit-covered finger into my arsehole. After fingering me a little he would try to shove his cock into me. He never actually managed to enter me, but would instead just thrust himself between my buttocks, rubbing the head of his cock against my hole until he came. I remember on one occasion reaching back to feel his spunk between my arse cheeks and then rubbing it over my cock as I wanked myself off.

I don't remember Simon sucking or even wanking me, but that obviously didn't bother me too much, as I never refused when he suggested that we meet during Choice. The meetings must only have occurred during the winter, because all my memories take place in at least semi-darkness.

Of the Big School boys who were monitors in our Junior House, only one actually slept there. Amongst the others during my Senior Year was a boy who was in Dab's House in Big School (which was also my older brother's House and so the one into which I would be moving). I remember that I liked this boy a lot. He was in the Lower Sixth but was a winger on the School 1st XV and a cheerful, kindly monitor, exerting his authority by charm and decency. Or maybe I'm just recalling him through the eyes of a schoolboy crush. Anyway, we mainly did stuff the following year, when I moved up to Big School, but I'm fairly sure that we first made contact in my Junior House. This is because the Senior Dorm had bunk beds and I have a very specific memory of Mike standing talking to the boy in the bunk above me as I played with his dick from my lower bed. God knows what they were talking about, but I seem to remember that the boy above me, Nigel, was a rising rugby star, so perhaps it was rugby.

I was at first just rubbing Mike's cock through his trousers (I don't know how we ever got to this point, but I know that there had been a bit of flirting going on). Then Mike unbuttoned his flies and took his cock out. This was after Lights-Out, so only I could see. By this time I was quite used to sucking cock, and thought that that was what Mike expected. When I put my lips over the head of his cock, he immediately bent down and asked, "Did you just suck me?" I said that I had and asked if that was wrong. He said no, but be careful. It quickly became difficult for Mike to continue his conversation with Nigel, and he just excused himself and sat down on the edge of my lower bunk so that I could, rather awkwardly, bring him to orgasm. When Mike had left the Dorm Nigel asked me what had been going on, and I told him. I seem to remember that he was quite impressed that I'd sucked off a boy in the 1st XV.

When I finally moved up to my Big School house I was not put in the Junior Dorm with the other new boys, but rather in another, smaller dormitory with my classmates. I shared a study with Dab and another boy I liked, Charlie, and so felt much more integrated with a group of peers. I still had Games with boys mostly younger than myself, however.

North Dorm was separated by internal wooden partitions about two metres high into two sections with six beds in each. There were also five "bedsits" down one side of the larger room. These were quite recent innovations at that time. Their fairly study wooden walls went right up to the ceiling, so that they were quite private little rooms for Senior boys - mainly monitors. Each bedsit had a built-in desk, bed and wardrobe and shelving units. Other Sixth Formers had bedsits converted from studies on a lower floor of the house.

My bed was the middle of three on one side of one section of North Dorm and in the bed on my right was Dab and on the left was Kemal, a Eurasian (Anglo-Indian) boy. Kemal was new that year, having previously attended the American School in Accra, where his father taught at the university. Despite the very casual and fairly pervasive racism of the time, Kemal was considered cool (or "smooth") because he had an American accent, had attended a co-educational school, dated girls and claimed to have smoked a lot of dope.

Little chats between Kemal and I after Lights Out about his experiences with girls back in Ghana led somehow to us ending up in bed together, at first wanking ourselves and then each other. One night one of the monitors who had a bedsit in our dorm noticed Kemal and I in the same bed. (Not a problem as I think he'd only come into our section to sit and chat with another boy in the dorm who he fancied.) A few nights later the older boy came in again and sat on the side of Kemal's bed and started chatting to him. This was by no means an unusual situation - it was a fairly normal preliminary "sounding out" tactic if an older boy fancied a younger one. Chatting would lead to flirting and touching and sometimes agreements to get together later. (For some reason it was okay for two boys in the same dorm to be in bed together while everyone else was awake, but if an older and a younger boy were involved it was considered better form to leave the actual sex bit until after most of the rest of the dorm were asleep. Then the older boy would return and wake the younger. If the older had a bedsit, they would usually go off there - much more comfortable and private.)

I can't now remember the name of the monitor, but Kemal whispered to me after he'd left that he was going to come back later. I tried to stay awake, but couldn't, so it was the next day that Kemal told me that he'd gone to the monitor's bedsit. "And you won't believe this, but he actually sucked my cock!" I wasn't sophisticated or jaded enough to pretend surprise about that, but just asked "And did you do him?". "No! Of course not!" Kemal said. "Well, just a little..."

Kemal's sexual education was quickly advanced by his older admirer. At first I think he sort-of suggested that it wasn't as good as what he'd experienced with girls before, but that line was soon dropped in favour of simple acceptance that he was enjoying himself. I was a beneficiary as Kemal became more adventurous in what he and I did together. Obviously I got to suck him straight away the next time we were in bed together, and he was reciprocating by the end of term.

Early the following term Kemal asked me if I had ever been "bummed". I said something like "Not properly" and described what had happened with Simon. "Tom [let's call Kemal's monitor friend Tom] did me the other night." Kemal told me. "What was it like?" I asked. "Fucking painful!" said Kemal. "I didn't let him do it very much. It was too sore."

A few weeks later when Kemal was sucking me, snuggled down under the bedclothes in his bed, he started pushing at my arsehole with a saliva-slicked finger. I enjoyed this and told him so when he asked if it was okay. When he re-emerged to allow me my turn at sucking him, I was moved to ask whether Tom had tried bumming him again. Slightly embarrassed, Kemal whispered that he had. "It's still fucking sore, but Tom likes it and he sucks me off after, so it's not too bad, really." I told him I liked it when he had fingered me and he asked if I wanted him to try bumming me. I'd enjoyed feeling Simon's cock rubbing between my arsecheeks and had been a little disappointed that he'd never actually penetrated; but I was worried by the potential for pain. Kemal promised me that "you get used to it after a few times".

It was rather awkward lying on our sides in a narrow school bed with only spit as lubricant, but Kemal told me that it helped if you fingered yourself a bit first, and then got me to suck him again to make his cock slippery. I held my arsecheeks open for him and Kemal managed to push his cock a little way in before I gasped and told him to stop. He did, but didn't withdraw. I tried to relax. "If we wait, you'll loosen up a bit." Kemal promised. After a couple of minutes I said that he could try going in a bit more. It wasn't quite as sharply painful this time, but he could only get a little further in before I stopped him again. After another wait, he started thrusting gently in and out, but not going any deeper. I have to say that I didn't really enjoy it, at least not physically. My cock had shrivelled, and even when Kemal tried wanking me I still didn't get hard again. The idea, however, was exciting. It was very naughty and being called a "bumboy" was a fairly bad insult, and I'm sure that that had something to do with why I persevered. Perhaps that is just my projection back on my younger self, but certainly it took quite a few experiences before I really physically enjoyed being fucked and I can only imagine that there was a strong emotional/psychological urge that made the pain worthwhile.

That first time I only regained my erection when Kemal spunked in my arsehole and I reached back and felt his cum leaking out around the short length of cock he had in me. Feeling that spunk made me hard even before he withdrew, and when he did, I quickly wanked myself off. I can't remember if I was actually producing spunk myself be this time, but I know that I liked other people's. "Next time I'll suck you afterwards." Kemal promised.

Dab, meanwhile, in the bed on the other side of me, started the year in a kind of mourning for Steve. They had been what I guess I would now recognise as lovers for nearly two years but Steve had left school at the end of the previous year and was now at Liverpool University. Dab wrote to him quite frequently and did receive replies... but these began to take longer and became fewer. I don't now think that this almost inevitable outcome diminishes the quality and value of whatever it was that they had together, but perhaps that is sentimental of me. I know that Dab was wonderfully happy about his relationship with Steve the previous year and had told me how lucky he felt that he had been scheduled, quite by chance, to go up to Steve's Big School house when he left the Junior boarding house. I gathered that they had had a more-or-less exclusive relationship the previous year. Dab didn't want to talk about it much, but various envious and/or jealous remarks gave me the impression that they were a tighter couple than some other boys had wished.

At first, then, Dab seemed resistant to even playful advances, and wouldn't even join in the casual, half-joking banter about which new boy was the prettiest or which monitor the "smoothest" ("smooth" being the then-current version of "cool"). A couple of older boys sat on his bed and chatted with him after Lights Out, but he didn't let these chats go anywhere. That changed when Kemal started fucking me more often.

I started writing my sexual memoirs at the request of an online undergraduate friend who had been to an all-boys private day school at which there was little sex between the boys. He was keen to hear about "what went on at boarding school".

There's more, if others enjoy this as much as my undergraduate friend did.

Email: spelchek@hushmail.com