WHEREVER I MAY ROAM

CHAPTER 4 - LEARNING TO FLY

BY HAYABUSA 

"Then... "

"Then what?"

I reached up, running my fingers along his jawline, over his cheek, all the way around to the back of his head, pulling him towards me slowly. I could see him close his eyes a split second before our lips touched and...

*Ring* Fucking doorbell. We sprang apart almost guiltily, jumping off the bed and going upstairs. Whoever it was better have a fucking good reason for being there...

I opened the door to find a grinning Luke standing there. You know, I really love Luke, he's the brother I never had, but he really does pick his moments to stop by!

"Hey shithead!" We love each other really... "Just thought I'd come over see how you were doing. You were acting kinda weird at school today."

"No, I'm cool. We're just waiting for pizza."

"We?" James had shrunk back into my shadow, obviously Luke hadn't seen him.

"Yeah, James came back with me after I got out of detention."

"Oh, cool."

"Yeah. You wanna come in, have something to drink, have some pizza?"

"Why not? Sounds cool to me. And I can kick both your asses on Playstation."

"Yeah, like you always do, asswipe?" At that, he shoved me in the chest, walking inside, shutting the door and advancing on me in a fashion that for anyone else would be called menacing. For Luke though, it just made me laugh, his baggy pants almost falling down as he walked towards me. "C'mon, Luke, bring it on! I'm shaking in my boots."

"You're barefoot." I looked down to find out he was right. Asshole. Always more observant than I give his dope riddled brain credit for being.

"Well, whatever! What you want to drink, Luke?"

"Beer if you got it."

"You're turning into a real alcoholic, you know that?"

"Oh yeah? That from you! If you drank any more Tequila, you'd be Mexican!" Ouch. Sad but true. Another thing I shouldn't be doing. That and the occasional joint. And a hit of X. Oh come on! I'm only going to be 15 once. I've got a whole life ahead of me to be boring in!

"Beer it is then. Bud alright?"

"Sure."

"James, you want a beer? Coke?"

"Uh, Coke's cool for me thanks." That soft, quiet, self-conscious edge to him was back again. Damn...

"Cool." I grabbed two cans of Diet Coke and a bottle of Bud out of the fridge in the kitchen, throwing the bottle to Luke and handing the can to James.

"Isn't it, like, a bit early to drink?"

"No, I've been doing this since I was 12," Luke said, turning to talk to James almost as if noticing him for the first time, then taking a long pull off the bottle. Fine, ignore my... guy. I think he's special, even if Luke doesn't. If I get my way, he's gonna have to get used to having James around, anyhow!

"You've been drinking since you were 12?"

"Yeah, sure. Don't you drink?"

"No... well, yeah, a little bit."

"Right." Luke took a few more mouthfuls and then turned to James again. "So, what kinda music you into?"

"All kinds of things really... Metallica, Pantera and that kind of thing, then some blues and stuff. A little bit of everything, I guess."

"Oh, cool." Man, this wasawkward. I just wanted to grab James and kiss him. Right in front of Luke. It never bothered me that Luke didn't know about me before now, but now it was making me uncomfortable keeping stuff from him. Especially something as important as this. Thankfully, though, I was saved from making an ass of myself by the doorbell.

"Hey, it's the pizza guy... go deal with it, ok, Luke?"

"Sure." I handed him the money and he went out into the hall, leaving me alone with James again.

I crossed over to him and slipped my arm round him. "Don't worry about Luke... he's always like that with people he doesn't know."

"It's ok."

"If you're sure..."

"It's fine," he said, cracking me that little smile. I took his head in my hands again, looking into those beautiful eyes. He put his arms around my waist, returning my gaze. "I wanted to kiss you so much then... "

"I know... I wanted it too." I leaned in towards him, and again, those gorgeous eyes fluttered shut just before our lips touched. This time, though, there was no interruption and our lips brushed together gently. He snuggled up closer to me, relaxing into my arms like he belonged there.

"Hey guys, pizza... " Luke... oh shiiiiiiit! I turned to see him looking directly at us, an expression of utter disbelief on his face.

"Luke, man, it's cool, we were just..."

"I could see what you were doing. I could see just fine, thanks."

"Hey, c'mon, what's wrong?"

"What's wrong? My best friend, since... since fucking forever, is gay. That enough for you?"

"But... "

"But NOTHING! You're gay, Chris! How could you keep this from me for 15 years? For all these years, you've been a... a... one of them, and you never found the time to tell me?"

"Would you tell me, if you were?"

That had him quiet for a bit but after a while he looked up at me, still looking like I'd just kicked him in the balls. "No, I guess not."

"Luke, man, I'm still the same guy I always was. I've always been this way. Always." He looked at me skeptically, yet the look of betrayal in his eyes thankfully seemed to be fading slowly away.

"But... you mean when we shared that bed at Leon's party, and that time when we went camping... you were like perving over me or something? That's really sick, Chris."

"Yeah, it would be."

"Huh? What do you mean, it would be?"

"Luke, I dunno how to tell you this - you just don't do it for me, buddy. I mean, you're nice and all that, but I don't think of you that way. I never have. I've never perved over you, I've never got hard from being around you. And you'll never have to watch your back when I'm around, if you know what I'm saying!"

"Oh, so I'm not good looking enough for you?"

"You dipshit! It's not that, it's just that... I dunno, this is going to sound so cliched, but you're just not my type of guy."

"And he is?" Luke said, pointing at James, who was just hanging on to my arm timidly.

I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him close to me again, kissing him gently on the forehead before replying, "I sure hope so."

"Oh man! I knew there was something funny going on this morning when you were insisting on showing him round and shit."

"Luke, don't be pissed with me about this. Please."

"I'm not angry, Chris, it's just a whole lot for me to take in at one time. It kinda changes a whole lot of things."

"Like what?"

"Going out on Friday nights looking for chicks, just for starters!" I dunno, it wasn't that funny, but I just couldn't not laugh. With all that tension in the room, it just had to get out somehow. Thank God Luke seemed to find it funny too. I swear I was almost crying from laughing so hard. "Anyway," he said, in between fits of laughter, "we actually gonna eat this pizza, or just let it go cold?"

"Eat it, course. But Luke?"

"Yeah?"

"We cool?"

"You bet," he said, moving over to me, wrapping his arms round me, giving me a big hug. Hmm, I think it'd be fair to say he took this a whole lot better than I ever dared to expect! He let me go and turned to James. Now we have the problem. "James, man... I dunno, I'm sorry I ignored you so much. It's cool that you and Chris are together, or whatever you are. But look, don't you dare even think about hurting him. Cause he's my bro, and I love him."

"Uh, ok."

"Cool. Now come here." And he hugged James too. Shit, I really was worried he wouldn't want to know me if he found out. I guess I underestimated him again.

I felt so much better with Luke knowing. It meant I didn't have to hide a whole side of myself from him anymore. Ok, I wasn't exactly going to go flaunting it in his face, I mean that'd probably have made him uncomfortable, but it was better that he knew. I'd never even thought about telling him, but oddly enough, I was more than happy now he's found out. Weird, huh?

And that was that. Just sitting round the kitchen table eating pizza and talking. Even better though, James and Luke seemed to be getting on quite well. Not bad, considering that until then, Luke had been suspicious of James and James himself had probably been scared half witless by Luke. Not that I can imagine ANYONE being scared by Luke, but that's just me.

That was how my mom found us when she came back, lounging around, full of pizza.

"Hi honey," Groan! Honey... "How was school?"

"Not so bad, I guess."

"Good. Evening Luke."

"Hey Helen." My mom likes my friends to be informal...

"How are you?"

"Not so bad. School sucked pretty bad, but then when doesn't it?"

"I remember, Luke... I was there not so long ago, don't forget."

"Last year wasn't it? I mean, you look so young... "

"That'd make me only three," I said. "I don't think so Luke."

"You're older than three?" James said, giving me a cute little look.

"Ooh, you're so going to get it for that... " I said, causing an expression of mock fright to flash across his face, one that was replaced by a wonderful shade of red, when I mouthed "Later," at him.

"Anyway, Christopher," Cringe again! "Are you going to introduce me to your friend?"

"Oh, yeah... mom, this is James."

"Hey James. How are you?"

"Pretty good thanks, Ma'am."

"Hey! None of this formal stuff. I'm Helen. If you ever call me Ma'am again, I'm gonna lock you in my son's bedroom for a week. No one's survived that before."

"I'm sure it'd be fine," he said, almost without thinking, looking over at me only to go even redder when I raised my eyebrow at him.

"Have you seen the room I'm talking about? Did I have another son without noticing?"

"No, I like it."

"I DID have another son... I wonder where he went. And I wonder why he can't teach Chris to keep his room tidy."

"Mom... "

"What? Am I embarrassing you?"

"Nah, just yourself. C'mon guys."

"So... how did you guys know?" asked Luke, when we were all back down in my room.

"Know what?"

"Like, that the other was gay? I mean, it doesn't seem the kinda thing that you'd advertise for everyone in school to see, if you know what I mean... "

"No, not exactly," I said. "We were playing Playstation, and he was kicking my ass at Fifa soccer. So I grabbed him to teach him a lesson, cause, well you know, no one beats Chris Robinson... "

"Sure!"

"As I was saying... I just grabbed him, and I guess I kinda got a little excited. He kinda noticed, and we were just about to kiss when SOMEONE rang the bell."

"I interrupted you guys?"

"Yeah."

"So when I walked in on you guys, that was like the first time you'd kissed?"

"Uh, yeah," I said, slipping my hand into James'. He laced his fingers through mine and moved a little closer to me on the bed.

"Oh God, you guys! Am I gonna have to put up with you two being all over each other every time I'm around?"

"Maybe," I said, squeezing James' hand gently, feeling him lay his head on my shoulder, kissing at my neck. I let out a little soft moan, causing Luke to sigh in exasperation.

"Guys look, c'mon, this is kinda weird."

"What's weird about it? I've had to sit with you before while you do a whole lot more than this."

"Yeah, but that's different... "

"Well, not really, but I understand," I said, leaning forward, my lips brushing James' ear so that only he could hear me. "Later, I promise." The smile that appeared on his face almost took my breath away. The glint in those beautiful blue eyes made me want to throw Luke out the door and devour him right there and then.

"You guys!"

"I'm sorry," we both said, exactly simultaneously, looking across into each other's eyes, grinning stupidly at each other.

"This is gonna be one long evening!"

Somehow, we tore our gaze away from one another, both of us looking over at Luke innocently.

"What?"

"Oh, I dunno, maybe the two of you flaunting it as much as you can is making me feel really quite ill... " Ok, his words might be a little harsh, but the smile never left his face. I mean, Luke wrote the book on ignoring your friends while with someone he's attracted to!

"This from the guy who's fingered a girl in the same room as me, while I was still trying to talk to him."

"You did that?" asked James, incredulously.

"Um... maybe... " Now it was Luke who was blushing. "I couldn't help it, she just... made me."

"Well, that's a new one. She tripped and landed on your dick as well, did she?"

"Um... maybe... "

"Was that number 234 or 235?"

"Um... "

"S'ok Lukey baby, I'm only teasing you."

"Robinson, you are really gonna get it one day."

"You're gonna get me?"

"Yeah."

"You and whose army?"

"I wouldn't need an army to batter your privates, soldier." Smartass.

"C'mon then, Mac, c'mon, I dare ya."

He jumped up, charging at me, not giving me a chance to stand up. Still, I managed to spin around and grab him, pinning him to the bed. "The mighty one man army, Chris Robinson defeats shortass Macauley for the millionth time. And now, for the defeated party, the agony of torture. Or more accurately, I'm gonna tickle you until you scream for mercy."

And it wasn't long before he did. "Shit, man, stop it... James, help me... get this bastard off me!"

"Sorry, Luke," he gasped out, when he wasn't laughing, "I think you look kinda cute like that anyway."

"Damn gay people... no sense of humanity!" Finally, he managed to throw me off of him, causing me to land rather heavily on the floor. "Ha, Luke the master escapes from the pathetic clutches of Chris Robinson!"

"Pathetic? That's not what your mom called me last night."

"Well, if all I'm gonna get is abuse, I'm gonna go."

"Ok."

"What do you mean, Ok? Oh... I get it. You two want me out of the way so you can make out, right?" Neither me nor James could meet Luke's gaze. "Oh, sweet. Well, I know when I'm not wanted! I guess I'll see you guys tomorrow. Have fun and don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"So, no holds barred, right?"

"Whatever. See you in school," he said, walking upstairs, shutting the door behind him.

As soon as the door closed, James leaned over, gently pressing his lips to mine. I brought my hands up to cup his face, holding him right there against me. I felt his arms slide slowly around me, pulling us closer together. I lay back, pulling him down too so we were chest to chest, with him on top of me. I felt one of his hands move around to my chest and I moaned softly into his mouth as he caressed my chest gently. My little moan was silenced by his tongue pushing slowly into my mouth, sliding over my teeth, and then rubbing up against my tongue.

I moved my hands down from his face, running them down his slim, lithe back to the bottom of his shirt, slipping my hands inside, touching the soft skin of his back, moving upwards slowly, feeling him wriggle a little in my arms. He slowly pulled away from me, kissing my jaw, and then on down to my neck. The feeling of him so close to me had me absolutely wired, and just his lips brushing against the skin of my neck caused little nerve explosions under my skin, my hands tracing the curve of his spine all the way up to his neck, stroking the soft little hairs just below his hairline.

Suddenly though, he went all stiff in my arms, pulling away from me a little bit. "Uh, Chris... "

"Yeah?"

"How far is this gonna go?"

"As far as you're comfortable with."

"Uh... "

"Well, I'm pretty sure we're not gonna have sex, if that's what you're saying."

"Ok... I just don't want to go too far. Not yet."

"I understand. I'm pretty much the same way. This is pretty new to me."

"Yeah?"

"Well, you're the first guy I've ever kissed."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Why so surprised?"

"I dunno... I mean, you're... hot. And you know what to say all the time. You have to get guys and girls throwing themselves at you."

"Nah, not really."

"Yeah, right."

"Hey, what's with the disbelieving looks?"

He let out a little giggle, a cute smile on his face. "Oh, c'mon, what about all those cheerleaders? I mean, you are JV, aren't you?"

"Yeah, but cheerleaders? Oh please. Damn airheads. I've only been out with one girl in my life anyway."

"Anyone I met?"

"I don't think so. Her name was Martina. She's going out with Mark now."

"Mark Masters?" He tensed up a little again at the thought of Mark and instinctively I held him a little closer.

"Yeah."

"Oh, Chris, I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. I'm not."

"Oh, ok."

"James, man, it's really ok."

"Well, if you're sure."

"Trust me, I'm sure," I said, leaning in to kiss him softly on the lips. "I found someone a lot nicer to be with... " kiss... " a lot better looking... " kiss... " and a whole lot sexier."

"Really?"

"For sure. For a start, I enjoy talking to you, you're fun to be around. And you're beautiful." Shit, this kid seemed to spend most of his life blushing! Not to say that I didn't like it, I though it was adorable! I leaned in to kiss him again, this time flicking my tongue out to softly lick his lips before touching my lips to his. I took his bottom lip in between my lips and gently nibbled at it, causing him to draw in a little breath and push his body closer to me. For the first time he let himself lie fully on top of me and I felt little James rubbing up against me. I wriggled a little so it was pressing firmer against me, feeling one of his hands slip down to my waist and up my t-shirt, stroking my side gently. His fingers may have only just been brushing my skin, but his every touch set my skin on fire.

I moved my hands to the front of his shirt, fumbling over the buttons, but eventually getting them undone, pulling the halves of his shirt apart, gently caressing his chest, loving the feeling of his soft skin against mine. His hands grasped the bottom of my t-shirt and gently tugged upwards. He rolled off of me, still gently pulling at my top. I sat up, helping him pull it over my head, throwing it onto the floor by the bed. He shrugged his shirt off too, laying it on top of mine on the floor.

God, he looks so hot without his shirt! Slim, but not skinny, with nicely toned pecs topped off with deep pink nipples. He had a beautiful flat stomach, not stupidly toned, but you could see that there was a six pack down there, even though he was sitting down.

"Um, Chris... "

Caught staring! "Yeah?"

"Is everything ok?"

"Of course. I'm sorry, I just couldn't help it... "

He leaned in, and just before our lips met, he whispered, "I know exactly what you mean." He snuggled in tight, and then I was lost again, my senses overwhelmed with the touch of his soft lips and the feeling of his wonderful smooth skin against mine. I broke the kiss for a second, lying back, inviting him to lay beside me. Just as he did, I caught sight of my bedside clock: 7:32.

"Uh, James man, what time did ya have to be home?"

"8. Why?"

"It's just after 7:30, babe."

"Oh God... I gotta go... "

"James, babe, just chill. My mom can give you a lift." That calmed him down a bit, but he still looked a bit jumpy. I sat up, grabbing our shirts, handing him his.

We got dressed slowly, going upstairs. "Mom?"

"Yes, honey?"

"Could we give James a lift home?"

"Sure. We'll go in a second, but you should go see your dad. He got in a few minutes ago."

"Ok mom. Can we take his car?" Hmm, fitting the two of us in the passenger seat of my mom's Eclipse might be fun for us, but I wouldn't want my mom there for that!

"I expect so, honey. Now go see your father."

I went into the kitchen, James following behind me. He seemed a little tentative, but then I think I would be if I was meeting my boyfriend's father. "Hey dad."

"Evening, Christopher. How was your day?"

"Had better, but not too bad."

"Oh? What happened?"

"Nothing much, just got into an argument with one of my teachers."

"Now, Christopher, what was it that we talked about before? About trying to have a little more respect for your teachers?"

"Yeah, well, she's a bitch."

"Well, I'm sure she is, son, but it always helps to treat teachers with a bit of respect."

"I try, dad," well, kinda... "But it's real difficult sometimes."

"I know, I was the same way when I was younger. Anyway, are you going to introduce your friend to me, or are you just going to make him stand there?"

"Oh, yeah. Dad, this is my friend James."

My dad looked James up and down before offering him his hand. "Hey James. Michael Robinson, pleased to meet you."

James shook my dad's hand, meeting his gaze. "Hi, Mr Robinson."

"Hey, none of that mister crap. You call me Mike or you don't call me anything. Anyway, I better let you guys go. Don't your parents mind you staying out, James?"

"No, as long as I'm back by 8."

"Ok. Well, it was nice meeting you. I'll see you around, no doubt."

"I hope so... er, Mike."

"Seeya soon, dad."

My mom was already in the car waiting, so we just hopped in. James didn't live all that far away, even if he didn't know what turns to make. Well, we've been living here long enough to know where just about everything is, so it didn't take us long to find his house.

"Mind if I go say bye, mom?"

"Course not, but don't take forever."

"Ok."

"Thanks for the ride."

"That's no problem James, see you soon."

I hopped out of the car after him, following him up the drive, pausing outside his front door.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Yeah, I guess. Uh, Chris?"

"Yeah?"

He got a pen out of his bag, writing a seven digit number on the back of my hand. "Call me, ok?"

"I will."

"Well, see you tomorrow."

"Sure. James?" I looked round quickly, making sure my mom wasn't looking and there was no one else on the street before leaning in to give him a quick kiss. "Bye babe."

"Bye." He opened the door and slipped inside as I turned away, walking back to my mom's car to go home.

I rode home in silence, just thinking about how one guy and 9 hours can turn another guy's whole fucking life on its head. Just... like... that.

Not such a long delay this time, was it? Well, it's still longer than I'd have liked, but hell, it always is! As always, no promise on 5, but it'll get done. After my exams. If I still have a college place. Wish me luck :)

If anyone wants to email me to tell me you loved/hated the story, want to chat, or whatever, I'd love to hear from you guys. Email remains the same : hayabusa17@hotmail.com

Thanx to:

Chris - As always, thanks for editing this into something that's actually readable. And for everything else.

Kit and Dave - Thanks for everything, guys. Thanx to you both for the compliments regarding WIMR, and thanx to Kit for "Not Always Easy" (if you've not read it, it's well good :) fk off and read it! It's in the High School section). Dave - good luck with your exams.

Foz and Börät - Could you guys be any more obnoxiously couple-like? Could you think up any more sickening pet names for each other? Well, probably, so I'll stop giving you ideas! Thanx for everything.

Anyone else I forgot - Thanx. Email me to remind me I forgot!

Copyright Hayabusa 2001