Date: Thu, 19 Feb 2004 05:27:39 +0000
From: jtoxic@comcast.net
Subject: WHY ME?  Chapter 2

COPYRIGHT: This story may be published on the Nifty Erotic Stories
Archive site ONLY.  No other use or publication is allowed.

=====================================================================

WHY ME? (Chapter 2)
by Jtoxic


Since Mike made no effort to get off the sofa, I took it as a hint
that he wasn't ready to leave just yet.  I was getting thirsty from
having been drained in more ways than one so I headed towards the
kitchen to get some juice.

"Mike, you want some chocolate milk?" I knew it was his favorite.  My
mom buys that stuff for the 'guests' since no one else in the house
would touch it.  I prefer plain milk.

"Sure!" he answered almost immediately.

I returned to the living room with my orange juice and about half a
glass of chocolate milk for Mike.  They were pretty big glasses; I
didn't want him to start puking milk when we jumped around on our
skates later.  I set them down on the coffee table and sat next to
him.  He picked up the remote and turned off the TV.  I guess he
wanted to talk.

"I thought we're going blading?" I said, trying to find out what's on
his mind.  Whenever he wanted to talk about something that was
bothering him, he would sit and wait for me to start the conversation.
I guess it's his way of giving me a choice, in case I didn't feel like
talking.

He picked up the milk and nodded enthusiastically.  I watched as he
emptied the glass in a few noisy gulps.  He looked at me, beaming with
the kind of satisfaction which only a 12 year old has from simply
drinking chocolate milk.  I feigned an amazed look, but the smile I
returned was real.  I felt great comfort in knowing I had stood by him
through a very rough time in his life, and probably gained a lifelong
friend and brother.  Yet, he still hasn't said a word.  I was getting
impatient.

"So... what's up?" I asked, staring inquisitively.

He broke eye contact immediately and began mindlessly picking up and
dropping one of the pillows from the sofa onto his lap.  I caught the
pillow in midair and yanked it away from him.  He looked up, started
to say, "Umm, do you..." and trailed off.

"Do I what?"

"Umm... never mind.  Let's go!" Mike said, pretending he never started
the question.

"No!  Do I WHAT??" I insisted.

He understood I wasn't going to let it go and took a deep breath.
Eventually, he said in a very soft voice, "Do you... umm...
masturbate?"  His face turned a shade redder as soon as he finished.
He immediately focused his eyes on me, searching for a reaction.

We had never talked about sex before.  Not once.  My suspicion that he
had seen me jerking off in the shower was probably right.  If it had
been one of my friends from school who asked the question, I would
have been embarrassed and most likely begin to wonder about his
intentions... or maybe the opportunities.  But Mike is my bro so I
didn't feel uncomfortable at all.  I just didn't know how to talk
about that kind of stuff with him.

When I was about 10, my dad bought one of those books which explained
sex to kids.  He left it on my desk and told me to read it.  That was
the extent of his involvement with my sex education.  Luckily, Mike
didn't ask me what masturbation was, he only asked if I did it.

I grinned and said, "Yeah... all guys do it when they're old enough."

"Cool." Mike said with a big smile.

I thought I detected relief in his voice when he heard my reply.  I
wanted to know why.

"You just started?"

"Huh?" said Mike with a puzzled look.

"Did you just find out about jerking off?" I smiled and gestured with
a hollow fist comically.

"Yeah," Mike replied, blushing.  He leaned back on the sofa, turning
to face me.  He was waiting for my reaction again. I knew he wasn't
uncomfortable talking about it since he was smiling the whole time.
Unsure of where to go next, I thought I would find out how much he
already knew.

"Has your dad talked to you about this stuff?"

"Yeah, last year.  We got sex ed at school too." Mike said rather
proudly.

"Cool.  Anything else you wanna know?" I asked.  I was still trying to
find out why he brought up this subject. He shook his head in an
exaggerated manner and then rested it on his arm that was propping
him up against the sofa.  He looked at me briefly before letting his
eyes drift off into the distance.  His light blond hair draped over
his arm.  I thought he looked adorable.  He seemed in no hurry to end
our little chat.

"Mike?"

He looked up.

"You saw me in the shower huh?" I asked softly but without any hint of
embarrassment.

Suddenly, he sat up straight and said, "No!"  His smile disappeared
and I could see a concerned frown on his face.

"Mike, it doesn't matter.  Really.  Everybody does it so it's no
biggie, ok?" I said, trying to assure him that I wasn't angry. He
nodded but I could tell he had more questions.  I told him he could
ask me anything and I promised to answer them.  He was smiling again.

"Do you do it a lot?" Mike asked with eagerness in his voice.

"Yeah, once a day," I said, pausing for a second before admitting,
"well, sometimes two or three times.  Depends on how horny I am, I
guess."

Mike giggled.

"You?" I asked.

He grinned and shrugged nonchalantly.  I could tell he was teasing so
I played along and began to pout.

"Fine!  I told you my private stuff.  You don't have to tell me yours.
That's cool. Yeah..."

He laughed and eventually told me he did it at least twice a day since
he started last month.  I asked him how his first time came about.  He
described the wet dreams that occurred twice during the same week.
Thanks to his dad and the sex ed class, he knew why it happened and
wasn't too worried.  He had been told jerking off can help with the
messy wet dreams so he decided to give it a try.  I was really curious
how he did it the first time but he wouldn't tell.  After much
prodding, he only admitted that he didn't cum the first two times he
tried.  Since nothing had happened on those attempts, he was
completely unprepared when cum shot out of his dick for the very first
time.  Overwhelmed by the incredible feeling which flowed through his
body, he panicked and almost fell off his bed.

I started to laugh.  He had just described to me in detail what was
probably the most private and memorable occasion in his life but I
couldn't help myself. It was kinda funny!  He pouted and gave me a
playful push before joining me in laughter.  Like anyone who had
discovered what an orgasm feels like, he was hooked.

I was still laughing when all of a sudden he said, "What do you think
about when you are doing it?"

I didn't see that coming.  When I finally realized the implications of
his question, my laughter faded immediately.  It wasn't because it was
too personal - I simply couldn't tell him I fantasize about guys or
that I mess around with them!  I haven't even admitted to myself that
I like doing those things.  When I started masturbating at age 11, I
thought about guys and girls.  But during the last couple of years, I
only thought about guys.  I did everything to keep that realization
out of my mind because I was too scared of the "g" word.  When you are
in high school, it is the last thing you'd want to be.  If I didn't
think about it, then everything will be ok and I would be NORMAL, like
everyone else.  How can I tell Mike that his bro is gay... a fag, a
homo??  I didn't want to risk losing him.

A sensation shot through my mind and body.  It wasn't pleasurable.  I
had felt it before, only a lot worse this time...

When I was little, I had many sleepovers at my friends' house. My
parents gladly drove me because it meant they could have parties with
their friends without a kid running around.  During those sleepovers,
I noticed most of my friends' parents gave them hugs and kissed them
goodnight.  I yearned for the affection.  I remember once I even laid
in bed pretending to be sick.  I called out to my mom, hoping she
would come to my room.  I thought maybe I could get a hug or a
goodnight kiss from her if I played the sympathy card.  (It's
pathetic, I know.)  Well, she didn't even check if I really wasn't
feeling well.  Instead, she called my dad, who was out having a good
time with his business associates.  He promptly summoned the family
doctor.  I realized then I will never have what my friends take for
granted.  For the first time, I experienced that ever unpleasant
sensation... that paralyzing, burning pain within.

Mike was still waiting for my answer.  I couldn't start crying or all
would be lost.  I managed to subdue that terrible feeling inside long
enough to turn towards him.

"I think about SEX!" I said, forcing a smile.

Mike rolled his eyes and said, "DUUUUUUHHHH!"

He looked a little disappointed but was completely unaware of the
conflict his question had set off in me.  He gave me a smile,
expressing that he was ok with my silly answer nonetheless.  I needed
a hug more than ever. Mike always came to me whenever he needed a
shoulder to cry on or someone to ease the pain inside. Unfortunately I
couldn't ask him to switch roles.  He wouldn't understand.   Besides,
I would never think of dumping that kind of emotional stuff on my 12
year old bro.

It was impossible for me to keep myself together much longer if we
continued with the subject so I decided to head out.

"Mike, let's go!  It's getting late.  We can talk about it some more
tomorrow if you want, k?" I suggested.  It was getting close to 11:00
AM.

"Ok!" he said, leaping off the sofa.

We strapped on our skates and were out the door in a flash.

Whew... I had escaped a hairy situation!  Little did I know the chain
of events that were triggered by that seemingly innocent conversation
with Mike.


To be continued....


=================================

NEXT: I meet up with Logan and Rick.

Fact or Fiction: I'm writing it as best as I can remember how things
happened almost 2 years ago.  There are too many gaps to write a
continuous story with it.  So.... you're probably reading about 75% of
what actually happened. (+ or - 5% accuracy)

Later! Jtoxic

Hey... one last thing... If you're one of the 3 people who read the
first chapter, let me know! :-P

jtoxic@comcast.net