Date: Fri, 27 Feb 2004 03:46:47 +0000
From: jtoxic@comcast.net
Subject: WHY ME?  Chapter 3

COPYRIGHT: This story may be published on the Nifty Erotic Stories
Archive site ONLY.  No other use or publication is allowed.


=====================================================================


WHY ME? (Chapter 3)
by Jtoxic


A gentle breeze rippled through the air as the rays from late morning
sun warmed my skin.  It felt good to be outdoors.  Mike and I headed
for the nearby park leisurely...

Some time ago, a couple of ramps and a drinking fountain suddenly
appeared there.  I guess the adults had something to do with it.  Now
the place belongs to us bladers and boarders.  We could catch some air
there without knocking over an old lady or having the cops bitch at
us.  It wasn't the kind of park where you'd see moms and nannies
walking around with strollers though.  It was pretty much off-limits
to adults.  But once in awhile, a few stragglers would find their way
in.  After a few deliberate 'near-misses', they'd get the message and
usually left us alone.  Sure, they built it but we came, we saw, and
we conquered!


Mike was leading the way and cut through a side street.  He pretended
it was a shortcut but I knew the real reason why he always took that
route.  He enjoyed making the dogs chase him from one end of the fence
to the other, annoying our neighbors greatly.  It made him feel like a
rebel.

The 5 minutes it normally took us to get there seemed to be taking
forever today.  My mind kept wandering back to Mike's question, 'What
do you think about when you are doing it?'

It kept ringing in my head until I couldn't stand it anymore.
Finally, I admitted to myself, 'I think about guys, ok?!  I think
about GUYS... But why?  Why me???  I DON'T WANT TO BE GAY!'

The hatred inside me grew with each heartbeat.  I felt dirty and
repulsive.  Had it not been for the sight of Mike gliding like an
angel just a few feet in front of me, I would have thrown myself at
the next car that drove by.  At least then people would think I was a
NORMAL kid who died in an accident, not a fag too cowardly to face who
he was.  I had always lived a fun life despite my parents'
indifference.  I accepted it and made the most out of it.  I had lots
of friends, in and out of school.  Most parents would've been proud of
my grades.  I was happy most of the time.  All that would change
simply because I was gay.  'FUCK!  It isn't fair!'


Suddenly, I heard Mike say, "Hey Tom!"

My eyes focused back to the reality in front of me but it was too
late.  There wasn't enough time to clear the curb between me and the
trail leading down to the park.  My right skate caught the edge of the
curb and I stumbled forward.  Instinctively, I tucked into a kneeling
position.  I had knee pads on which absorbed most of the impact, but
the momentum threw my body forward.  I slid sideways to avoid falling
face first into the dirt, skinning my right elbow.  I was so
embarrassed and pissed off that I didn't even feel the pain coming
from the wound.

"Hey, I wonder what Jono's been doing today... he got beat up by that
tiny curb!" a voice taunted.

I recognized the voice.  It was Sean, a 16 year old 'tough guy' who
insulted everyone at every given opportunity.  It was just an act
though; he always backed down when confronted.  I was in no mood for
his bullshit.

I stood up, dusted myself off and shouted, "FUCK YOU, Sean!"

Looking around, I noticed everyone had stopped what they were doing.
They had never seen me so pissed off before.  It was as if time
suddenly stopped and I was the only one moving.  I saw Mike, Tyler,
Meng, Rick, and Sean, staring at me...

Tyler had just moved to the area.  Even though Mike had only recently
started hanging out with Tyler, they were fast becoming best friends.
I never asked how old Tyler was but he looked about Mike's age.  In
fall, he would be attending Mike's school.

Meng was from Hong Kong.  At 17, he was the oldest in the group.
Because of his accent, he usually ended up on the receiving end of
Sean's insults.  Meng was the only one there who wore glasses but he's
cool.  Once, he invited us to his house for dinner.  We probably gave
his mom quite a shock because we wolfed down everything like we hadn't
eaten in days.  She must have thought Meng was hanging out with a
bunch of barbarians.  She was a great cook.

16 year old Rick was my good friend.  He and Sean went to the same
school, and were sort of good friends since Sean didn't have that many
friends.

Finally, there's Sean.  He was a jerk but he had killer looks.  He was
5'10" with brown hair, green eyes and a firm body which he consciously
showed off.  Meng called him a "fat ass" once because of the taunting.
Sean promptly turned around, pulled down his pants and mooned us.  He
slapped his butt and said, "Hey!  This is the most AWESOME ass you'll
ever see!"  He wasn't bragging.



"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Sean shouted back.

When everyone started moving again, I saw Rick and Mike coming toward
me.

I would have played along with Sean's 'tough' talk but I couldn't that
morning.  I was ashamed.  I felt guilty because I was a fag.  It made
me angrier.

Before I was in position to take a swing at Sean, Rick got between us.
He pulled me away from Sean and said, "Forget him!  Are you ok?
You're bleeding."

"Yeah," Mike confirmed, pointing to the blood running down my arm.

Rick grabbed my wrist, extending the arm for a closer look.  There was
a deep gash on the inside of my arm, just below the elbow.  I must
have caught a rock.

By then, everyone except Sean had gathered around, looking curiously
at my bloodied arm.

"Better wash it off," Meng suggested.

It looked worse than it was but I didn't feel like hanging out with
them at that moment.  I wanted to be alone.  It was a good excuse for
me to get out of there.

"Yeah, I'm gonna head back...  Later!"  I turned around and
effortlessly jumped the curb that caused me unspeakable embarrassment.

Rick caught up from behind and started skating by my side.

"I'm coming with you," Rick offered.

I didn't feel like having company but he'd probably ask all sorts of
questions had I refused.  So I simply said, "Ok."

Having Rick with me on the way back turned out to be a good thing
because it kept my mind from thinking about the stuff that was
bothering me.  We arrived at my house in no time and went inside.

"What was that all about?" Rick asked, referring to the scene at the
park.

We sat down and removed our gear.  Rick was waiting for an answer.

"Nah... nothing," I said in a tone which told Rick I didn't want to
talk about it...

Rick and I became good friends after we returned from an Outward Bound
course last year.  Our parents had enrolled us in the discovery course
for 14-15 year olds.  It was an outdoor challenge in the mountains
where you learned how to work as a team.  It included stuff like
backpacking, rock climbing, and whitewater rafting.  We first met at
base camp when one of three instructors did a roll call.

There were 12 of us on the team - 7 guys and 5 girls.  When the
instructor checked off a name, we would give a brief introduction of
ourselves.  After we had gone through the list, we realized Rick,
Stefanie and I were from the same city.  Rick walked up to me and
introduced himself.  We found out we lived in the same suburb.
Stefanie was from the other side of town but nevertheless we became
known as the three musketeers to the team.  We worked well together
and had a really great time there.  The mountains, rivers, fresh air,
and camaraderie... it was an experience I wouldn't trade for anything.

Towards the end of the two week course, I noticed Stefanie and Rick
were becoming more like a couple.  Rick would say something and
Stefanie would start to giggle.  Although Rick did his best to include
me in their conversations, I felt I didn't fit in.  I would be lying
if I said I didn't secretly wish Rick was interested in me instead,
but I knew it wasn't going to happen.  Rick is straight and Stefanie's
very hot (even to me).  Besides, I liked them too much to get in their
way.  I simply blocked it out of my mind.

There were a couple of other guys there whom I thought were cute but I
didn't have the courage or energy to act on them.  The activities
planned for us were fun but very physically demanding.  By nightfall,
we were all exhausted and fell asleep the moment we crawled into our
sleeping bags.  There was no time for fantasies.  I remember having a
wet dream at the end of the first week.  I had not had a wet dream
since I started jerking off so when I woke up the next morning with
soggy underwear, I almost didn't realize I had one.  By the second
week, I was too tired to even have wet dreams.  I didn't cum again
until I returned home.  (I have one advice for the religious people
who are having a tough time with celibacy:  Go OUTWARD BOUND!!)



"Ok, let's patch you up."  Rick motioned for me to follow.

I walked into the bathroom as he rummaged through the medicine
cabinet.  I took off my shirt, turned on the water in the shower and
stuck my arm in.  Under the stream of warm water, I rubbed away the
dried blood and let it rinse for a minute.  Like the countless times
before when we were scraped and bruised from blading, Rick was ready
with the hydrogen peroxide by the time I was done.

"Ready?" Rick asked, winking at me.

"Yeah, go ahead."  I put my arm over the sink and winced in
anticipation.

Rick noticed.  He hadn't poured the peroxide yet.

"Wuss!" he teased.

"Shut up..." I said with my voice trailing off.  I blushed.

He aimed the bottle and poured.  My arm jerked back involuntarily when
a sharp pain shot up.  I put on the boldest face I could during the
few seconds it took the pain to dissipate.  He returned the bottle of
peroxide to the cabinet and held my arm to look at the wound.

"Nope, won't need stitches," Rick said with the confidence of doctor.

I nodded in agreement.

As I examined the dark red patch of skin on my arm, I thought, 'Great!
Now I'll have a scar to remind me of the day I realized I'm a fag.'

Rick put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me out of the bathroom.
Even though I knew he meant nothing by it, the feeling of his arm on
my bare skin caused blood to start flowing into my dick.  I was
appalled by the reaction and quickly pulled free from his hold on me.
I walked back to my room and grabbed a shirt from the closet.

Rick came in and sat on the bed.  He spread his arms and let himself
fall backwards.  After staring at the ceiling for a moment, he closed
his eyes.  He had done this a million times before whenever he was in
my room.  It was one of his strange habits.

As I gingerly pulled the shirt over me, avoiding the wound as much as
possible, I caught myself looking at Rick's body.  My eyes went
directly to his crotch and were caressing the denim covered bulge.

'Fuck!  What's happening to me??'  I had never thought about Rick in
any of my jerkoff fantasies.  I hadn't even remotely looked at him in
a sexual way.  The feelings I had for Rick were always like those I
had for Mike, fraternal.  I was confused and completely disgusted with
myself.  I sat down on the chair at the computer desk.  Staring out
the window, I wondered if things could get any worse.

"You wanna go get lunch at the mall?" Rick suggested all of a sudden.

"Nah... I'm not really hungry," I replied, pretending I didn't just
try to rape him with my eyes.

I didn't feel like going anywhere.  I needed to be alone.

"Ok, I'm gonna go hang with the guys then.  I'll call you later!"
Rick said as he stood up to leave.

I walked him to the door and was finally alone.  Looking around the
living room, a strange feeling came over me.  It was as if I was a
stranger in someone else's house.  I felt lost and helpless.  I sat
down on the sofa and wondered about all the terrible things that could
happen to me if people found out I'm gay.  'How will my parents react?
Will they kick me out?  Where will I go?  Will I have any friends
left?  Will Rick and Mike abandon me??'

My whole life came crashing down and I was being torn to pieces.
Tears started streaming down my face freely.

For the first time, I really thought about how tough being gay would
be...  I wouldn't be able to ask someone out on a date without
worrying about getting beat up or losing him as a friend altogether.
I couldn't hold hands or kiss the person I loved, like straight guys
did with the girls at school.  I probably couldn't even talk to a guy
without him running away because he was afraid to be seen with me.  I
was a walking neon sign that said, 'An abomination.  A freak of
nature.  STAY THE FUCK AWAY!'

I cried until I couldn't cry anymore and fell asleep on the sofa.



My mom came home around 6:00 PM.  She had bought some take-out from a
restaurant for me.  After taking a few bites, I went back to my room
and turned on the computer.  New emails were waiting.

The first one was from Jenn, a good friend from school.  She was
somewhere in South America, traveling with a Christian organization.
She wrote and told me about what's happening over there and attached
two pictures of her and the group.  She looked happy.  We started high
school together and she has had a crush on me since she saw me in the
first week.  I knew it from the beginning but... yeah.  Oh well.

Jenn was also guilty of spreading the terrible rumor about me
stripping on web cam.  She kept daring me but I DIDN'T take off my
shorts - just my shirt!  The next day at school, some of her friends
were whispering and giggling when they saw me.  On the Internet,
rumors got around in seconds; you didn't have to wait for them to tell
people in class or on the phone.  I put her on the 'block' list for a
week so she couldn't see me when I was online, until she begged me to
remove her.

I didn't feel like replying to her email just yet so I went on to the
next one.  It was from Logan.  I hesitated for a moment before opening
it because I already knew what he probably said in it.  I clicked on
the message and as I had expected, he wanted to hang out tonight...


Logan was my best friend.  (There is no such thing as 'best friends';
you can only have ONE best friend!  Otherwise Logan and Rick would've
both been my best friends.)  Anyway, Logan was 5 months older than me.
We were in the same private school.  Like me, he didn't have any
siblings.  But unlike me, fortunately, his parents were the absolute
opposite.  They were very affectionate toward Logan.

In the email, Logan didn't ask if I wanted to hang out, he simply said
we should.  That's the way he was with me but I didn't mind at all.
Needless to say, he was the dominant one.  He made all the decisions
for us.  I picked up my cell phone but stopped myself from speed-
dialing his number.  I started to question whether I really felt like
hanging out with him, or anyone, that evening.  Despite the ongoing
war in my mind, I gave in to Logan's demand.


"Jono!" Logan answered.  He already knew it was me thanks to Caller ID
on his cell phone.

"Hey!" I greeted.

"You had dinner yet?"

"Not really... I'm hungry," I told Logan since I had taken only a few
bites from the stuff my mom bought me.

"K, let's go eat!  I'll be over in 5," Logan said.

"Ok.  Bye." I agreed, as usual, and hung up.

He had just gotten his driver's license.  We could pretty much go
anywhere for dinner so I decided to change into a long-sleeve shirt
and jeans.  Subconsciously, I wanted to cover up the ugly scab on my
arm and not remind myself of the circumstances which caused it.

Logan pulled up in his car just as I was walking out the door.  He was
wearing a nice shirt and jeans.  I had made the right decision to
change.  When he asked if I had 'dinner' instead of 'eaten', it
usually meant we were going to a fancier restaurant.  We didn't care
how much we spent on food as long as it was good.  Our dads taught us
well.

Logan suggested Italian.  I nodded without thinking and he drove to
our favorite Italian restaurant.  My mind wasn't really on what kind
of food we were going to have.

After we were seated, Logan ordered his favorites: Stuffed mushrooms
for appetizer and Chicken Alfredo.  I couldn't decide so I got what he
ordered.  Even though it sounded like we were boyfriends out on a
dinner date, it wasn't.  Logan and I were best friends who... messed
around.  We had never kissed or said any of the mushy stuff to one
another.  My mind started drifting while Logan continued with his
usual chatter about what happened during the day, what he saw, where
he wanted us to hang out next, etc.

We hadn't mess around until the beginning of last year but since then,
we've been jerking off together several times a week.  We never talked
about what we did; we just did it.  I knew we would eventually end up
in his bed later that night.  Part of me resisted.  I wondered about
what we did and why.  Before last year, he went out on dates with
girls.  But since we started messing around, I noticed he had gone on
very few dates.  I wondered if he was gay or maybe bi.  I wanted to
know how Logan felt about me.

I stared into his hazel eyes as he continued talking, oblivious to my
sudden attention.  I felt a deep sense of affection for him.  My heart
told me I loved him unconditionally, but not like a boyfriend... and
not quite like a brother either.  If there was a life and death
situation and I had to make a choice between saving Logan or myself, I
would've chosen Logan without any hesitation.  Yet, I felt I needed
more from our friendship... or relationship... or whatever it was that
we had.  I was more confused than ever.

Dinner was done and I did have to make a choice - either to spend the
night with Logan or ask him to drop me off at my house.  Logan decided
for me, as usual.


Logan's mom greeted us at the door and said, "Hi Jono!  What have you
two been up to?"

"We had dinner at the Mac Grill," I replied.

"Oh, that's good.  What did you boys have?"

"Chicken Alfredo.  Later, mom!" Logan interjected.  He pulled me into
the basement before she could say another word.  I guess he wanted to
watch a movie.

There was a 60" TV hooked up to a home theater system in his basement.
He put the DVD in and turned down the lights.  It was Harry Potter and
the Sorcerer's Stone.  Neither of us had seen it in the theaters so we
watched intently throughout.  Almost towards the end of the movie, his
parents came downstairs to say goodnight.  We were totally into the
movie by then so we mumbled 'goodnight' hurriedly and they went to
bed.

Finally, the movie was over and we both said "cool" almost
simultaneously.  We liked it.

We got up and Logan grabbed me by the wrist, leading me upstairs... to
his room.  I knew what he wanted to do next.  For some reason, my
heart began beating faster, as if we were going to mess around for the
first time.  It was different because I realized I was gay and what we
were about to do only confirmed it.

Even though his parents had never come up to his room after saying
'goodnight', Logan locked the door anyway.  We used to look at porn on
his computer before we did anything but lately, Logan simply took the
lead.

Pretending I didn't know what was on his mind, I sat on the carpeted
floor, with my legs bent at the knees and leaned against his bed.  I
wanted him to sit next to me.  I thought maybe we could talk about the
stuff that was killing me inside.  He looked perplexed.  He had
expected me to be sitting on his bed, like I normally would when my
hormones were raging.

Finally, he grinned at me and asked, "Why are you sitting on the
floor?"

I lowered my head a little and replied softly, "I don't know."

Suddenly, he pushed my legs down, straddled them and sat down on me.
With my head lowered, his crotch was in perfect view and I could tell
he was already hard underneath his jeans.  My dick began to fill up
uncomfortably too.

I guess we wouldn't be talking about anything for awhile.

He reached down and unbuttoned my jeans.  Pulling the zipper down, he
inserted his hand into my white boxer briefs.  My body jerked up
involuntarily when he touched my dick.  Then he squeezed it several
times and I was fully hard in seconds.  He removed his hand and the
elastic band from my briefs pressed my dick against my stomach.  His
eyes were glued to the object of his fascination - the foreskin.  The
tip of my dick was peeking out from the foreskin.  He couldn't resist
pinching it between his thumb and index finger.  I was getting harder
and becoming really uncomfortable with the elastic band pressing on my
dick.  I wiggled my butt around since I couldn't get up with him
sitting on me.

He stood up and unzipped his jeans.  I looked up and saw that he
wasn't moving and understood it was my turn.  I pulled his jeans down
around his ankles and saw he had black boxers on.  His hard-on was
creating a tent.  He stepped out of his jeans and helped me up.

We were facing each other.  I looked longingly into his eyes; pleading
for a kiss.  He must have sensed it.  He lowered his eyes and hugged
me instead.  I knew Logan well so I didn't feel too disappointed.  I
was content with the hug he was giving me.  I savored it because he
would only hug me when we were messing around.

I felt his hand reaching for my dick again so I pulled my jeans and
briefs down.  He tightened our embrace, pressing my hard dick against
his through the boxers' fabric.  Pleasure filled our bodies.  We took
the rest of our clothes off and quickly crawled into his bed.

I laid back with my eyes closed.  He climbed on top, resting his full
body weight on me.  He loved doing that.  We spent the next 10 minutes
slowly rubbing our dicks together in that position.  I loved it too
because almost every inch of our bodies were in contact.  It felt
great to be that close to him.  All the while, Logan made 'little
noises' from the pleasure we were giving each other.  I could hardly
hear them but they drove me crazy nonetheless.

Logan must be getting close because he got up from me and grabbed the
hand lotion from the nightstand.  My dick was pulsating with each
heartbeat.  I reached down, grabbed the shaft near the base and
started moving my hand up and down.  It exposed the head when I pulled
down and then covered it again on the up stroke.  I made sure the top
part of my dick wasn't covered by my hand.  I knew Logan liked
watching that so I kept it up for a couple of minutes until I was
close.

He didn't touch his dick during that time so I figured he must have
been really close to shooting when he was on top of me.  Since we
started doing it, he only came once when we were in that position.  I
think he'd rather watch us cum because he always rolled off when he
was getting close nowadays.

When I let go of my dick, he knew it was his turn to play with it.  He
squeezed some lotion onto his right palm and held my foreskin back
with his left.  The lotion slowly rolled down the shaft as his right
hand covered the head.  I moaned softly, feeling the slippery stuff
being massaged around the sensitive exposed head.  After a few moments
of squeezing the head and watching me squirm, he began stroking my
dick slowly.  His left hand held back the foreskin to prevent it from
covering the head.  He always jerked me off first before he would let
me do his so I closed my eyes and concentrated on the pleasures he was
giving me.

Every time his hand was over the head, he would tighten his grip
gently.  It sent intense pleasure all over me, causing my body to
tense up repeatedly.  He kept doing that until I couldn't hold back
anymore.

"I'm cumming," I whispered, gasping for air.

He quickly lowered my dick until it was pointing up to my stomach and
picked up the pace.  I pressed my head back as I felt the full force
of the orgasm.  The first shot landed almost directly on my left
nipple.  Several more globs shot onto my stomach until they eventually
tapered off.  I sighed happily and smiled.   My eyes were still shut
as I laid there for a minute to enjoy the lingering sensation.

Logan continued moving up and down my dick for awhile, but with only a
feathery touch.  When he saw I was satisfied with what he'd given me,
he grabbed a towel from under the bed and started to wipe off the mess
I had made on myself.  He took great care in cleaning my dick around
the head and under the foreskin.  I always enjoyed the special
attention he gave me after he had made me cum.

I felt Logan lying down next to me so I sat up and gave my full
attention to his beautiful dick.  I squeezed some lotion onto the
naked head of his dick and repeated exactly what he did to mine
earlier.  He was squirming in ecstasy.  I then stroked his dick in the
same manner, applying extra pressure when I was over the head.  I
didn't have to hold his skin back since he was circumcised so my left
hand was free to play with his balls and sac.  I could tell he really
liked it when I rolled them around.  It only took about a minute
before he grabbed my right hand and pointed it at his stomach.  He was
cumming.  The first shot exploded out of his dick and hit him on the
neck.  He kept shooting several more times with almost equal force.  I
was kinda shocked because I don't remember ever seeing him cum so
much.  When it finally stopped, I gently squeezed the last drop out of
him, causing him to thrash around a little.  He was looking rather
proudly at the cum he had shot all over himself.  I gave him a big
grin as he closed his eyes.

I wiped the cum off of his stomach.  As I worked the spot where he had
splattered himself on the right side of his neck, I looked at his
serene expression.  He seemed almost angelic.  My desire to kiss him
grew stronger but I couldn't work up enough courage.  I sighed softly
and gently felt his face with the back of my hand.  He opened his eyes
and pulled my hand onto his chest.  He held it there for a few seconds
before letting go.  Then he smiled, silently thanking me for the
special moment we had just shared.


To be continued....

=================================

NEXT: Justin (Almost done writing it. You probably won't have to wait
another week for chapter 4)

About emails: Thanks for all the nice emails! I got about 25 "I am the
4th reader" messages! *grin*

To 68 year old Jim who emailed me:  Can I give you a hug? :-)

Later! Jtoxic

jtoxic@comcast.net