Winter Dreams
Part 8. 'Together at Last'

There he was, the man, who I felt so much love for, right next to me. I couldn't believe my eyes. Was he really here? Or was this another one of my dreams? I would find out later.

"Are you ok Eric?" He asked me with a caring tone of voice.

I looked at my blond hunk. Dripping wet and shivering. He was going to catch a cold. It pained me to see him like this. He came here just to see me. Did he know my deep feelings for him? Did he know that I loved him with all my heart?

"I'm fine Luke. You're all wet. You should dry up or you are going to catch a cold or pneumonia." I looked at him and tears swelled up in my eyes. I wasn't sure if it was tears of joy or tears of pain. I really didn't know. I should be happy that he was here but something didn't seem right. I couldn't explain it. I couldn't. Tears started to fall down my cheek and I couldn't control myself. I couldn't let him see me like this. I turned away from him and started to sob.

"What's wrong Eric? Are you ok? You can tell me. We are buddies remember." He put his hand on my side but I didn't face him. I couldn't let the one I love see me in pain.

I just sobbed and sobbed but thankfully, the blanket I had covering my face muffled my cries. I never knew love was this painful. It wasn't just a crush anymore. It was love. How did I know? A crush doesn't hurt, love does.

"Eric. Don't do this please. Don't." He started to sound different as if something was in his throat.

Why was he here? I wouldn't let him see me like this. I had to make him leave.

"Luke . . .please . . .don't stay. I don't want you here." I said through the blanket. I wondered if he heard me but I didn't care. I couldn't believe I just said that. Why was I so stubborn? He was here visiting me but I had to push him away.

"Eric. Why are you doing this? Why are you pushing me away? Why do you always push me away? Why . . ." He said with a muffled cry.

Oh god. He was crying now. My stud muffin was crying. He was more sensitive than I thought. I turned to face him and there he was. His eyes were flaming red and tears were falling down his cheeks. It pained me to see the one I love like this. I shouldn't have pushed him away. But who was he to care? He wasn't my boyfriend. He wasn't my lover. He wasn't even my friend. He was just a person who I practiced with on the track team.

"If you want me to go. Then I'm going to go. Goodbye Eric. Have a nice life." He let his tears fall and he was looking into my eyes. I saw those piercing green eyes of his. Those beautiful eyes. My heart tore into pieces. I didn't know what I was doing. I was pushing him away. Why? He didn't wait for my response. He stormed out of the room. I guess it was too much for him to bear. I cradled myself and cried for forcing the one I love leave. I cried.

[Luke]

I had stormed out of the room with tears running down my cheeks. I couldn't believe he told me to leave. Didn't he know that I was there for him didn't he know?

Why? Why was I feeling so much pain? Why? Didn't he know that I liked him? Didn't he know that I loved him? Yes. I loved him.

We would always practice on the field and I would catch him staring at me in one way or another. I liked it. I liked knowing that he liked me. I knew I liked guys since I was fourteen but I always suppressed it. I would rationalize myself by saying I was BI. That wasn't an excuse. I really did like girls and guys. I know it may sound selfish but that's life. I always had the hots for Alicia but ever since I saw Eric, my cute Asian guy, I didn't know what took over me. I would get a feeling in the pit of my stomach whenever I was near him. I would get hard after catching him staring at me.

He occupied my thoughts, even my dreams. I would toss and turn everynight. I would jerk off to him and scream out his name when I came. What was it I felt? I didn't know. I just didn't know. All I knew was that I wanted to hold him in my arms. To hold him and feel his warmth. Especially since He was at this hard time in his life.

After Mr. Thomas called me and told me about him, I rush over to the hospital. I got in my car and drove as fast as I could. Eric didn't know how much he meant to me. My car broke down seven blocks before I could get to the hospital. But I didn't care. I got out of the car and ran. I ran through the pouring rain. I wanted to be there for him. I wanted to tell him my feelings that I kept to myself for so long. I wanted to tell him I loved him.

When I got there, my heart just melted. There he was, my little angel sleeping peacefully. I didn't want to wake him. Just seeing him so calm was enough. I don't know. Just staring into his peaceful face. Hearing him breathe while he slept. Seeing his chest move. I knew that he was going to be ok physically but how would he be mentally?

He and Carlos were the best of friends. After the death of Carlos, he wouldn't be the same. He wouldn't have that beautiful smile of his. The smile that always melted my heart. I was there for him. Not to replace Carlos, but to help him cope. He woke up and was shocked that I was there. I just gazed into his eyes and smiled. I was all wet but I didn't care. I was there with him. But then he started to cry. He started to push me away.

I was going to tell him my feelings for him. Didn't he know? I was going to tell him I loved him and wanted to be with him and that I was there for him. But what did I get in return? Nothing. He told me to leave. Hearing that just broke my heart. Tears rushed into my eyes. I pleaded with him. I tried, but he was just too stubborn. So I rushed out of the room.

"OUCH." A lady yelled. I had stepped on her foot by mistake.

"I'm sorry miss." I apologized while running down the halls. I wanted to leave this hospital. It was raining outside but I didn't care. I approached the main entrance and went out into the pouring rain. I just stood there. I walked a few steps and stared up into the window where Eric was occupying. I just stood in the rain and stared hoping that he would see me and come down. I was just too stupid. Why would he even like me? I should've told him my feelings from the start but I kept it to myself. Now I'm paying for it. God why are you so cruel. Why? Why?

"Son. You should get out of the rain." A man said to me.

"Its ok sir. I would like to stay out here if it's alright with you." I wanted him to get away from me. Everyone get away. Get away.

"Son. You are going to catch pneumonia like this." He tried again.

"I know but I don't care." I didn't care about myself. I didn't.

[Back in the hospital room . . .]

I cried and I cried. I must have cried so much because I woke up Jarod. He came over to the bed and asked me what was wrong.

"Why are you crying? I thought Luke was supposed to be here by now. I called him awhile ago." He asked me.

"Yeah. He was here already. I . . .I . . ." I couldn't finish my sentence. I was in too much pain. I realized my actions were wrong. I just made the one I love hate me. I said things I shouldn't have. I pushed him away.

"What's wrong Eric?" He was sitting on the bed now staring at me. He was a caring man. A very caring one indeed.

"I told Luke to leave. I didn't mean it but I didn't want him to see me like this. So I told him to get out." I sobbed and sobbed.

He pulled me to his shoulder and let me cry. I could smell a faint scent of cologne. His body was so strong. He held me and let me cry.

"It's ok Eric. Don't worry. He doesn't hate you. He has conflicting emotions just like you do. He also has someone he loves so much but he can't tell the person because he's afraid. He's afraid he'll get hurt." He urged me and stroked my back.

"Yeah. He probably loves Alicia." I said.

"No. That is where you are wrong. I shouldn't be telling you this but the one he likes is you." He told me.

What? I was shocked. Luke likes me? Why? How? When? I hated myself for being so stubborn. I should've let him stay.

"He does?" I asked amazed.

"Yes." Jarod replied.

Jarod let me go since I stopped crying and he went over to the window and look outside. I was still pondering the possibilities. It's impossible. Why would he like me? He was straight right?

"Ah hem," Jarod coughed. "I think you should look out the window."

What? What is he doing? I got up from my bed and stood next to Jarod. What was he looking at? I looked out and my heart broke. There he was. My love out in the rain looking up. He just stood there staring up. Tears started to fall down my face. I couldn't stand this any longer. I would tell him my feelings I would tell him. I rushed out of the room. I bumped into people but I didn't care. I had to get to Luke.

[Luke]

I saw him. He finally looked at me. He wasn't that heartless as I thought. He looked down at me and saw me. My heart raced. But then he disappeared. He was gone. He left me to myself all alone again. I fell to my knees and stared at the floor while the rain poured.

[Eric]

I ran and ran. My lungs were on fire but I didn't care. I had to get to him. I had to get him out of the rain. He would be sick. I had so much to tell him. I saw the door that led me to the outside. The door that would lead me to the one I love. I ran for it. I pushed it open and searched for Luke. Where was he? I ran out into the rain and called out his name.

"Luke! Luke! Where are you? Luke!" My heart beated faster and faster. Where was he? I ran around and I saw him. He was kneeling on the floor, his head staring at the hard wet concrete. I ran over to him in tears and held him. I held him so tight that he gasped for air.

"What? Eric?" He cried out.

"Yes Luke. It's me. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I hurt you. I never meant those things I said. I never knew. I'm sorry. I didn't know." I held him in my arms. We were both wet but I didn't care. I just held him while the rain pelted us. There was the crack of thunder and I held him even tighter. "I'm sorry. Forgive me. Please Forgive me." I said it so fast. I wondered if he heard me.

"It's ok. Don't cry." He was shivering. His lips were purple from the cold. I held him tighter hoping to warm him up. "Eric. I have something to tell you." He said while his lips quivered.

"Yes Luke. I have something to tell you to." I brushed his wet hair out of his face.

"You go first then." He said.

"No. You go." I responded.

"Well, what I have to say might shock you so brace your self. Eric . . ." He trailed off. I became more and more curious. I urged him to go on. "I had a crush on you ever since I first saw you. I want to be with you. I want to be there for you when you are down. I want to hold you. I want to be able to love you. Eric, will you go out with me?" He just said with passion.

I cried hearing him say that. I was so happy.

"Yes, Luke. I will be honored to go steady with you. But I also have something to say." He perked up after hearing me say yes and he smiled at me. But after hearing that I had something to say, he lost his smile.

"No. Don't be sad. It's nothing. I just have to tell you that I had feelings for you ever since I saw you practicing on the track field. These three years have been torture. I would see you practice and my heart would just melt, but it also felt pain because I wasn't able to tell you what I felt. But now, I am truly happy. I am so happy I met you. I love you Luke."

There I did it. I told him my feelings. I was shivering too. It was really cold. He could sense that and he held me in his arms. He held me so tightly.

"I love you." We both whispered.

His face inched closer to mine. I stared into his eyes. I was too happy and I could tell he was too. Then, he kissed me. Oh my god. A shock went through my body when his lips touched mine. We shared a passionate kiss. But something was wrong. His eyes started to close. I heard his breathing become lighter. He wasn't responding to me.

"Luke! Luke! Are you ok?" I stroked his face. He didn't answer me. I became so scared. I started to become hysterical.

"Luke! Talk to me. Wake up Luke." I cried out.

End of part 8.