Date: Fri, 04 Aug 2000 03:28:12 PDT
From: Jesse Jameson <jessejameson@hotmail.com>
Subject: WISH: NATHAN/installment 1

Hey readers.this is my first submission to Nifty.  It is a story I wrote a
while ago, and I plan on turning fragments of other things I have written
into a continuation of this story.  I figure that it might make me write
more often if I have a continuing story to think about.  Anyways, this
first part is kind of a prequel and introduces the two main characters and
some possible supporting characters.  Nothing too steamy yet, but that will
come.
  I want this story to be believable and truthful-not just used as a
quickie read `n' jerk.  Don't be confused by the beginning and ending of
"Wish" being the same.  Most of the story is a flashback.  Let me know what
you think about this framing; whether or not you think it works and why.
In upcoming installments I plan to be a little experimental with the way
the story will be told.  Some will be straightforward fiction, some will be
in the form of a loose script, maybe a mixture of these two.  We'll see.
Ok..so here is the first part in the story of Lith and Nathan.

......

Wish

	Lith watched Nathan's slight form stumble away from the beam of the
headlights and into the darkness.  His blonde head briefly appeared once
more under the porch light before he entered his house without looking back
or waving.  Lith gripped the steering wheel, arms shaking.  Then he pounded
it.  He knew he was expecting too much, but he wanted Nathan so badly he
didn't understand why it wasn't happening.  He looked down at the clock on
the dashboard.  It read 11:11 p.m.  He closed his eyes to make a wish on
it.

	Earlier, back at the party, feeling the effects of the couple shots
of Five o' Clock vodka he had downed upon arriving at the party.  Lith's
drinking habits had worsened this summer; he had worked his way down to the
cheap stuff, making it easier to afford to drink as much as he did.  Not
too much tonight though-- he had to drive himself home.  His parents
thought that if they made sure he had to drive home from parties, he
wouldn't drink.  He gave a quiet chuckle as he thought about their blind
confidence in him.  One more shot, he thought, then I am through.  Lith's
friend and the host of the party, Tim, poured himself and Lith a shot and
they took `em down the hatch, no problem.  Everyone was impressed that Lith
could drink the vodka with absolutely no chaser.  He liked the fact that it
made him seem tougher, it gave him a bit of notoriety in the high school
party scene.

	Lith slammed down his shot glass, gave Tim a high five, and lay
back with a smile on his face.  All the while he was thinking how he
shouldn't have taken that shot, Tim was a big dork, and he was having a
shitty time.  It was at that moment, though, that the door to Tim's
parents' condo swung open.  Everyone looked over, half expecting it to be
police or parents.  It struck Lith as funny that everyone pretended to be
so cool and hip to drinking, but when it came down to getting in trouble,
people were still scared.  It wasn't the police or parents though; it was
more partygoers.  Lith felt his stomach do a flip when he saw who it was,
and he sat up out of his chair and ran to the bathroom, the voices of
everyone else whispering behind him, asking if he was sick.

	Yeah, Lith was sick, but not from the vodka.  Nathan was here?
Nathan, his blonde skater angel?  He couldn't believe this.  Nathan was a
grade below him, and Lith had been mildly obsessing over him for the past 4
years or so.  Ever since 8th grade.
  He could remember the first time he had seen Nathan at a middle school
dance.  He looked shy and wouldn't dance with the 4 or 5 girls who
surrounded him.  He was incredibly cute, Lith thought.  He was small and
had dark blonde hair, the kind of thin hair that looked good without any
sort of preparation; it just lay perfectly on its own.  I wonder why he
doesn't dance with those girls.  Various explanations ran through his mind,
but the one that Lith desperately hoped was true was that maybe Nathan
didn't like the girls.  Maybe he liked boys.

	Nathan turned out to be a skater in high school, and this look was
something very attractive to Lith; he liked their rebellious style.  Nathan
grew his hair just past his chin, tucked it behind his ears, and donned the
skater uniform of baggy pants, a short-sleeve band (punk or hip-hop),
t-shirt with a long-sleeve t-shirt underneath, and the obligatory wallet
with a chain running to his belt loop.  Lith was on the periphery of the
skater group, but he and Nathan had no common friends, no classes, no
reason to speak to each other.  He had never spoken to Nathan.  Ever.

	Lith had some intangible feeling of connecting with him, however.
There were glances in the hallway, in the lunchroom, in the library.  They
were only glances and maybe it was just Lith's imagination, but he really
thought that there might be meaning behind the looks.  He remembered the
time that he had been waiting in line in the cafeteria and had felt a pair
of eyes staring at him.  He looked around the store, and his eyes met up
with Nathan's, staring intently at him.  Nathan's eyes quickly fell,
though.  There was no way Lith could confront Nathan about these glances.
He couldn't even discuss his crush on Nathan with anyone.  As far as
everyone knew, Lith was just your average high school straight guy.  Lith
knew differently.  Lith was also confident that his path would cross
Nathan's someday, if that was what was supposed to happen.  This summer,
Lith had begun to hang out with Russ and Alex, two of Nathan's friends, but
still had never talked to Nathan.

	He stared into the toilet bowl, hunched over.  He spit a few times,
but did not vomit.  He did not want to lose the shots of vodka he had
taken.  After looking in the mirror and smoothing his hair, checking his
teeth, and using a little of Tim's toothpaste to freshen his breath, he had
regained some confidence and decided to venture back into the party

	Lith returned to the conversations and laughter of the party.  He
walked over to Russ, who had brought Nathan.  Deep breath.  This was his
chance to actually get to talk to Nathan.

	"Hey kids, what's up?"

	"Nothin'," was Russ' reply.  "Just was at that field party."

	"How was it?"

	Russ chuckled and elbowed Nathan.  "Ask this kid.  He seemed to
have a good time- - he drank enough, anyways."

	Nathan glared at Russ, and then glanced over at Lith.  He looked
kind of uncomfortable, uneasily moving his brown eyes from Lith to the
ground.  Lith looked at Nathan's hair.  He had cut it off this summer and
it was now in the process of growing out a buzz cut.  It looked awkward in
an adorable way.  Russ explained that they had been at a different party,
and that Nathan had drank a little more than he was used to.  Russ had to
leave, and wondered if someone could take Nathan home that night; he
figured Nathan should sober up a bit before going home.  Lith almost felt
sick again.  It was not like him to lose his cool so easily in front of
others after years of hiding his feelings.  He had become quite good at
disguising crushes as friendships and touches as accidents.  Lith contained
himself and agreed with a "Sure," when he was thinking "YES!"

	The party continued.  Lith spoke a little to Nathan, who was still
a bit out of it.  Everyone amused themselves by jumping onto Dave's bed and
playing steamroller, a silly excuse for everyone to be on top of each
other.  Lith and Nathan joined in, but never ended up on top of each other.
It was soon 11 p.m.  Nathan had to be home by a quarter after, so Lith
reminded him and they got ready to go.  Walking out to the car Nathan
stumbled and grabbed Lith's shoulder to steady himself.  Lith smiled.

	Nathan could barely remember where he lived.  Lith was having a
little bit of trouble driving as it was, since he left the party earlier
than he should have with a small amount of alcohol in his system.  He
wasn't worried about the road, though; he kept looking at Nathan's profile,
illuminated by headlights from other cars and the soft green glow of the CD
player in the dash.  He couldn't believe that Nathan was in his car, one
foot away from him.  "Fuck," he thought out loud.  Oops.  Nathan asked why
Lith had said that.  Lith's mind raced as he tried to think of something to
say to him.  He couldn't think of anything; his mind was too cloudy and the
alcohol was becoming the truth serum it often does.  Or maybe Lith just
wanted to tell the truth.

	"I can't believe you are in my car."  Stupid.

	"Yeah, me either really."

	"Really?" Lith was interested in what Nathan meant by this.

	"Yeah I mean I am so fucking drunk right now and nothing is making
sense and somehow I ended up in your car and I don't really know you.  I
mean, I know you, but I don't know you, you know?  Turn here, I think."
Lith knew where Nathan lived and disregarded the bad directions he was
calling out.

	"Yeah, I know."  He pondered what to do.  What he wanted was to
stop the car right there and kiss this boy, but he was sure this was not
what to do next, although the alcohol was making him think differently.
Time was running out-- they were almost to Nathan's house.  "There's a
party tomorrow night at my friend Brian's house.  You wanna go?"  He looked
over and caught Nathan staring at him.  Nathan looked away, straight ahead.

	"I dunno.  I think we are having company over."  Lith was
disappointed.  That was the end of the conversation as they pulled into
Nathan's driveway, the headlight beams sweeping the neighbor's yard and
resting on Nathan's green garage.  The light bounced back and lit up the
inside of the car with a strange, ethereal glow.  Caught up in the light,
he let his hand fell off the gearshift and brush Nathan's leg.  An
explosion of adrenaline poured into his veins.  He let his hand rest there,
against Nathan's leg, wondering what Nathan's reaction would be.

	Lith kept his eyes facing forward, staring at the two beams of
light illuminating the garage.  The reflected light was harsh and hurt his
eyes.  He looked down, and saw that his hand was still laying there.  His
arm was sideways, with the palm of his hand facing him.  The back of his
hand was resting against Nathan's seat and against the side of Nathan's
leg.  Lith imagined that his hand could feel an electric warmth from being
in contact with Nathan's leg.  He decided to risk looking over at Nathan.
He was just sitting there, staring out the passenger window.  Lith could
see the side of his face; not quite his profile.  He studied Nathan's ear
and the back of his head, his dark blonde hair.  He wondered aloud why
Nathan wasn't getting out of his car yet.  Nathan said that he wasn't ready
to enter his house and risk running into his parents.  He was still too
drunk.  Lith was perfectly happy to let him sit in the car, with his leg
touching Lith's hand.

	He thought about whether or not Nathan could feel his hand.  If he
could, why didn't he shift positions, if it was uncomfortable for him?
Maybe it was what he wanted, too?  But maybe he didn't even notice the hand
there.  Nathan shifted.  Lith's hand was now only touching Nathan's seat.

	Nathan looked over at Lith and began to slowly move towards him.
Lith was anticipating something and he leaned towards Nathan, but he wasn't
sure what he was expecting.  Nathan leaned a little more towards
Lith. Nathan's hand reached in between the two car seats and he pulled out
his house key, which had fallen out of his pocket.  Their faces were only
about six or seven inches apart, now.  Lith could smell Nathan's Extra
Cinnamon breath.  Nathan brought the house key up and dangled it in-between
his face and Lith's face.  He leaned away from Lith and opened his door.
The overhead light went on, chasing out the softer glow of the headlights.
Lith preferred the headlight glow- it left more to his imagination and
concealed imperfections in Nathan and himself.  Nathan stepped out of the
car.  He shut the door and the overhead light went out.  The window on the
passenger side was down so he leaned into it, but he was no longer in the
light from the headlights.  Lith could barely make out his face.  Nathan
thanked Lith for the ride.  He turned away and began his drunken walk to
his house, suddenly stopping and bending at the waist.  Lith heard him
gagging and jumped out of the car, worried.

	He ran around the front of the car to Nathan, who had moved over to
vomit on the front lawn instead of the walk to his door.

	"Are you all right, kid," Lith asked.  He hesitantly rested a hand
on Nathan's shoulder.

	"Yeah, I think so.  I just don't want my parents to hear me."

	"It's all right, I think you were pretty quiet.  No lights went on
in there or anything."

	"Good."

	"I was worried for a minute there.  Thought you were going to
collapse or something."  Lith didn't know what to say next.  He wanted to
say something.
  "You're a cool kid, you know that?  Wouldn't want you dyin' on me, or
something."

	"Yeah, sorry about this."  Nathan stood up and faced Lith, and then
wiped his chin with his sleeve.  Lith thought it was cute the way Nathan
didn't care about getting vomit on his shirt.  It was so boy-like.  "You
were nice enough to give me a ride and then I fuck it up by puking in my
own yard.  Sorry.  I feel and probably look like shit."

	"You don't look like shit at all.  You look cute."  Shit.  Lith
couldn't believe he said that.  His stomach sank.  Nathan gave him a
puzzled look.  "Good.  I mean you look good.  I'm drunk."

	"All right," Nathan said, still trying to make sense of what Lith
had said.
  "Talk to you later then.  Sorry."  Nathan still looked a little confused
to Lith.  Would he remember this?  Did he understand what Lith had just
said?  Lith hoped not, but in some way he hoped Nathan did understand.

	Lith returned to his car shut the door, and watched Nathan continue
his walk up to the door and into his house.  Not even a wave goodbye.

	Lith gripped the steering wheel, arms shaking.  He wondered why he
set himself up for this, why he had anticipated something, why he had even
let himself agree to take Nathan home.  He wished so badly that something
would have happened, that there would have been a kiss or at least a
promise of seeing Nathan again.  He glanced in the rearview mirror and
smoothed out his hair.  The clock on the dash read 11:11 p.m.  He closed
his eyes and made a wish, like he had done so many times before, all wishes
on Nathan.  He wondered if the wish would ever come true.  He pictured
himself back at the party and reliving the night's events.

.....

Well, there is the first installment to what may turn into a good story,
eh?
  This is just kind of a prequel to some ideas I have for these characters.
Let me know what you think of this story, at least, and we will see what
happens next.  Email me at jessejameson@hotmail.com.