Disclaimer:

This contains male-on-male love and sexual acts. If such material offends you, or you are not of age in your region for this type of material then please leave. Of course, I don't always know who is reading, so I can't force you to leave. So that means more readers for me!

Any names, places, or names of places that are same or similar to your experiences could be coincidental.

There may be mentions of celebrities (while characters are watching movies, television, magazines, etc.) but this should not infer as to their sexual orientations in real life.

You may not post this on any other website or any other means of publication without my explicit permission to do so.

Any questions, comments, and critiques are welcome, whether good or bad, and can be sent to

Tyler Christoper, not_allgrownup@hotmail.com

(your email may be filed as Junk, so in the subject box, put the title of this story)

Note to Readers:

Though there are scenes of sexual activity and/or mentions of said activities, this is mainly a story of love, family, friendship and trying times.

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'With Arms Outstretched' - Chapter 4

I looked in my full-length mirror, making sure I looked appropriate for the party. I thought I looked good. But now I was having second thoughts about going. I was having an internal argument with myself.

"You ready?" Lenny asked standing by the door.

I looked to him unsure. Should I stay? Should I go? Should I be brave and face Sophie? Do I chicken out and not go?

"Tyler! God, you're lost in your head again, aren't you?"

"No! No. I'm not."

"So can we go already?"

I went back into my internal self-argument. I was having a lot of difficulty deciding whether I should go to the party or not.

"Ty, you don't have to--"

"No."

"What?"

"No. I'll go. I'm going. To Sophie's party." I said a little unsure.

Lenny grinned. i don't know why he had to make it so big. It got me worried.

The ride to the Graham's house was.... great. Take note that that was sarcasm. Lenny and my dad made small talk up front. Lenny rode shotgun at my request. I didn't outright ask Lenny to sit up front with my dad, I just made a beeline for the back seat. Lenny took the hint, I guess, and went up front. So Lenny and my dad made small talk, or big talk, I don't know, I wasn't paying them any attention.

I was thinking about how to approach Sophie when Lenny screamed, "Tyler!"

"You don't have to fricking yell. I'm not deaf." I said a little irritated.

"No, you're not. You just visit Dream Land way too often. We're here."

I didn't even notice to car stop. "Oh." was all I said opening the car door.

"I'll come pick you boys up at nine-thirty. Sharp." my dad called from the car as Lenny and me walked to the Graham's house.

That left us two and a half hours. Lenny rang the door bell. We only waited five seconds before Sophie answered the door. First she noticed Lenny, who was standing right in front of the entryway. Then she looked at me.

"Tyler, you made it. Great. Hi, Lenny. Come on in."

Lenny and I walked into the house that was decorated with birthday things. There were kids our age there, a lot of them. To the left was the living room, the coffee table held the birthday gifts.. To the right was the kitchen, there the island held the snacks and beverages. The air was filled with music, though not loud, everyone in the house could hear it. Mr. and Mrs. Graham were near the entry to the dining room talking to two male adults. I don't know who they were. But they all looked to be having a good time, talking and laughing.

Lenny and I walked to the living room to put our gifts for Sophie with the others. Since I had decided a little late and was busy during the day, I had not gotten Sophie a proper gift. I found a gift card to the American Eagle clothing store. It was a gift to me, but I never used it. I do like American Eagle, I still don't know why I never used it for myself. But whatever, it made a good birthday gift to Sophie. I don't know what Lenny got for Sophie, it was in a blue gift bag.

"Oh, look, it's Tyler," Noah said to John and Kevin. They were sitting on a couch drinking soda. "Bet's a bet, boys!"

John and Kevin handed Noah ten dollars each. I guess it was a bet whether I'd show up here or not. I was a little offended but I let it go.

The house was full! Kids danced, socialized, played games, in one room girl were giving each other makeovers. There were helium balloons and a bunch were inhaling the helium. That was hilarious.

"What made you change your mind on coming here?" Noah asked as we walked through hallways. I was drinking water and Noah soda.

"Lenny convinced me that I should at least let Sophie know I'm not interested in her."

"What? She's been telling everyone that you two are official," Noah said looking freaked.

"WHAT!?" I screamed, furious.

"Just kidding, but here she comes," Noah said looking behind me.

I turned, and about twenty feet away Sophie was coming, looking dead at me. I looked back to Noah to get me out of there. But he was gone. I was about to turn but Sophie tapped my shoulder.

"Hey.... Sophie... how are you? Happy birthday." I said with forced enthusiasm.

"Thanks," Sophie replied shyly.

"Can we talk?" I asked very hesitantly. "Somewhere private."

"Sure." Sophie replied with a shit-eating grin.

Great. This was gonna be more uncomfortable than it already was going to be. Why does she like me? I'm so... ordinary.

Sophie led me out, to their backyard. I then took the lead to bring her to the tree near the fence.

"Sophie, I like you but--"

"I like you, too!" Sophie interrupted me excitedly.

"Why?"

"Why, what?"

"Why do you like me? I'm so plain, I'm boring!"

"It's things like that that makes me like you so much. You think yourself boring when you far from it. You have the ability to get the grades you do and still have so many friends! You are so quiet... but... everyone hears you. And there is the fact that your glasses do nothing but add to your cuteness."

I was dreading this next part. It was killing me. But it needed to be done.

"Sophie, I'm sorry. But I don't like you like that."

Sophie looked shocked and so hurt. It made my heart feel heavy.

"Why not?" Sophie asked quietly.

"Because... I'm in love with someone else, and I have been for a long time." it wasn't even a lie.

Sophie was quiet for a minute before asking, "Would I have a shot with you?"

"You are very attractive, Sophie." I never lied. I never answered her question. She wouldn't have a shot in hell because she wasn't a guy.

"Well, we should get back inside." Sophie said, her voice almost as lively as earlier.

Sophie began walking across the backyard back to the house. She turned when she noticed I wasn't following.

"Aren't you coming back to the party?" she asked innocently.

"Not right now, no. I'm just gonna stay out here a while longer. If that's alright?"

"Sure. No problem. It's quite chilly out here though."

Sophie went back into her house, back to her thirteenth birthday party. I stood by the tree, leaning on it, thinking to myself. Relief had washed over me.

The situation with Sophie had gone so much more smoothly than I had ever prayed for. But what am I gonna do if another girl shows an interest in me? I can't turn every girl down, someone will catch on to my real sexual interests. Right? I mean there's the chance that no one will ever notice. Riiiiight. Sophie there was a bunch of girls who liked me. A part of me hopes she's lying, or exaggerating. The other part of me is flattered, embarrassed. God, we are only thirteen-years-old, why the rush to get into relationships? However, I would love nothing more than to be in a relationship with a certain best friend. The problem is, he's straight. Even if he wasn't, would I have the courage to come to him or anyone? I know my parents are not homophobic, either of them. They have gay friends. Joseph and Benjamin have been friends with my parents since I was a kid. I'm just afraid I'll disappoint my family by being gay. What would the chances of me being with a woman, having kids and being happy? Slim, I know. Then what am I going to do? What am i going to do? I have to tell somebody, it's eating at me. It's become so heavy. All of the sudden, it's become taxing on my mind. Lenny is my best friend, he wouldn't turn his back on me. Would he? We've been best friends our whole thirteen years of life, surely he'd understand. What about Noah? Noah is so kind and unjudgemental. And Nick. Nick certainly knows something about heartache and conflict. But do I have the courage? What would be the chances--

I was interrupted out of my thoughts by someone tackling me to the ground. Whoever did it started laughing. I knew the laugh.

"Noah, get off me, you ass!" I exclaimed, trying my hardest to squirm free.

Noah released his grip on me and rolled off my back onto the grass laughing. I sat up on my shins and punched Noah's chest. Not hard, but not exactly soft either.

"Ow!" Noah said still laughing, now rubbing the part where I punched him.

"What are you doing out here all by yourself? And you were doing nothing, just standing there, why?" Noah asked, finally stopped laughing.

I was still sitting beside Noah on my shins. Noah was lying on the grass, propping himself up by both his elbows.

"I was just thinking, and it was important." I replied, near frustration.

"What were you thinking about?" Howie asked as he walked to us. With him were Kevin, Nick, Lenny, John and Al.

"Nothing. So what's going on in there? Why are you all out here?"

"Nothing excitin' happenin' inside. We came lookin' for you, Lenny lost you." Kevin answered my questions.

I looked to Lenny for reassurance. He half-smiled and looked away. That confirmed it was true. God, Lenny is the best!!

"What time is it?" I asked to no one in particular. I was still looking at Lenny, who was looking at the tree beside me.

"9:01." John said.

"Shit, my brother's supposed to be here now. He's gonna be pissed." Al said walking back to the house.

"Sorry about your clothes, Ty." Noah said to me, looking a little ashamed.

I looked at my clothes. There were stained green from the grass.

"No, don't worry about it. They're just clothes." I said back to Noah, smiling genuinely.

"Maybe your mom can get the stains removed." John said.

"Maybe." I replied.

Out of nowhere, Lenny tackled Kevin to the ground. That started an orgy of a wrestling match. Me, Noah, Kevin, Nick, Lenny and John laid on the grass trying to over-power our opponents. Everyone was everyone's opponent. We were all laughing in our antics. I was certain we all had grass stains on our clothes.

"What are you boys doing?" Mr. Graham called amusedly from the backdoor of his house.

We all stopped our wrestling, most of us still giggling.

"Sophie's opening her gifts now." Mr. Graham said, meaning he wanted us inside joining the rest.

We did as we were uncommandedly commanded.

Sophie looked at me with unmistakable gratitude for the gift. "Thank you."

I nodded at her once, almost a bow. That made her grin. I hoped she didn't get the wrong idea.

I didn't pay any attention to what else Sophie got as gifts from everybody else. I watched, but didn't absorb anything.

Out of nowhere, somebody grabbed my hand and led me to the front door. I looked at the hand holding mine. I had a feeling I knew who it was. I followed the arm up to the shoulder, to the neck, to the face.

"Lenny, what's going on?" I asked as he pulled me along.

"Your dad said he'd pick us up at 9:30, it's 9:35."

It felt great holding Lenny's hand. I know it was not for the reason I's wished, but it was still his hand. I involuntarily squeezed his hand. I feared Lenny would do something, but he seemed to not notice it.

"Hey, boys. What happened?" my dad asked as Lenny and I got into his car. I thought he would have been irritated.

"Sorry, dad, Sophie was just opening her presents." I said buckling up.

"No, it's fine."

"We're sleeping at my house tonight, Uncle Adam." Lenny said.

"I thought as much. Ready?"

"What do you wanna do tonight?" Lenny asked as we drove home.

"I don't know. You know better than to ask me," I said with a giggle.

"Right," Lenny said deep in thought. "We could get totally drunk." Lenny said jokingly, taunting my dad.

My dad thought Lenny was serious, he reacted by snapping his head in our direction. He looked furious. He looked from me to Lenny. Lenny was trying pitifully to hide his smile and giggles.

"Oh, you're joking. Haha." my dad said slowly, his face softening.

"You could play your video games, I'll draw," I suggested.

"What is it you're always drawing, my boy?" my dad asked genuinely curious.

"Nothing," I said dismissively.

"That doesn't seem fair." Lenny said.

"Why not? You enjoy your video games, I have stuff on my mind that need to be released somehow," I said.

"Fine by me."

"So I take it the birthday party was good?" my dad asked.

"What? Why would you say that?" I asked.

"You clothes. They're all green."

That made me giggle. I had forgotten that we had stains.

"Wrestling," I answered simply.

"Ahh." my dad said like it was a big mystery that was just solved.

"You are such a dork." I told my dad jokingly.

"Hey, now, don't be hatin', yo," dad replied, trying to be a gangsta.

That made us all bust out in laughter. My dad can be such a goof.

"I gotta go get some clothes for tomorrow. I'll meet you inside." I said to Lenny as we climbed out of the car outside of my house.

"No, my mom said you've got clothes."

It wasn't uncommon for us to have spare clothes at the other's house.

"Okay. But I gotta get my book anyhow."

I ran into our house, up the stairs. As I got to the top, Curtis was coming out of his room.

"Hey, squirt. I'm sleeping at Lenny's tonight." I said to Curtis, taunting him.

"Well, you have a good night, bitch," Curtis quipped with a smile.

I rushed into my room and grabbed my sketchbook and colored pencils. I went down to the kitchen to use that exit.

Curtis was in the kitchen, making a sandwich.

"Good night, lil' bro." Curtis said.

"Good night." I replied rushing out the door.

"Why are you drawing Sophie?" Lenny asked.

I had been drawing a picture of Sophie when I talked to her earlier that day, when I told her I didn't like her. The hurt on her face. Like I said, I draw what's on my mind. In this case, it was eating at me that I had to make Sophie feel that way.

"Guilt," was my short reply.

"When did you start sketching?"

"I don't know. Why do you ask?"

"That looks great. Not the subject, but the skill. You're only thirteen, dude."

"I think we were eight."

Lenny started laughing. I understood why. I began drawing five years ago. Of course, the illustrations were bad, as only a kid can draw. But with time, my hands got better. I can now write and draw with both hands with ease. Considering I started sketching five years ago, my parents only found out three years ago, and Lenny less than a year.

Lenny went back to his video game. I don't know what he was playing. I think it was something about sports or competition.

After almost two hours, I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. I went back into Lenny's bedroom to find him unbuckling his jeans. I went to the laundry hamper beside Lenny's desk and threw my used clothes in, then went bed to make it seem normal, like I wasn't watching, perving on him. From the bed, I watched as Lenny slid his pants down his legs. Lenny kicked his jeans off his ankles. Lenny swept his jeans a foot away from himself, and grabbed his shirt. Oh, so slowly, the shirt slid up Lenny's gorgeous teen body and over that beautiful head of lightly wavy hair. Lenny dropped his shirt on top of his discarded jeans, and raised his right knee and foot to remove the sock. Lenny repeated with the other sock, and dropped them on top of the shirt and jeans he just shaded. Lenny was now clad in just his boxer briefs, and he looked stunning in my eyes. Lenny bent over, his ass was perfectly in my view, and picked up his divested clothing and carried them over to the same hamper I put my clothes in earlier. Lenny walked over to the bed, looking at me. I didn't realize at first, but we were looking into each other's eyes.

"Any plans for tomorrow?" Lenny asked as I climbed onto the bed and into the blanket.

Lenny moving around in the bed trying to get comfortable made me realize my cock was raging hard! Maybe perving on him tonight was not such a good idea...

"Nope. Nada. You?" I asked turning over onto my stomach to hide my obvious state of arousal.

"Check-up," Lenny answered simply.

Aunt Mags and Uncle Nate take Lenny out to their doctor every three months for a check-up. When Lenny was a toddler, he'd contract illnesses easier than most toddlers. That's when they started with the check-ups. But Lenny's immune system grew stronger as we grew. I actually get sick more often than Lenny does now. But Aunt Mags is scared. And over-protective.

"Mm" was my response. "Anything after that?"

"I'm so tired. And sick. I'm so sick and tired of going to these... frikkin check-ups four times a year!" Lenny said loudly in frustration.

"You're stronger than I am." I said.

Lenny turned his head to the side on his pillow and looked at me surprised. "What?" he asked, confused.

"You are stronger than I am. You are... healthier... I get sick more than you do."

"I didn't realize that...."

I looked at Lenny. I slapped his chest a little hard. The 'thwack' was prominent.

"OW! You bitch! Why'd you fuckin' hit me!?" Lenny asked furiously as he rubbed where I slapped him.

I shrugged my shoulders, though I was laying face down on the bed. "You are SO WHITE! But there, you got some color. At least your chest does!" I answered with a wicked smile.

Lenny looked even more pissed, though I could tell he was trying not to smile.

"You are not so different!"

Then Lenny slapped my arm, then my back. I heard both thwacks before I felt the pain. But the tingling came, then the pain.

"There. You've got a bit of color now, too." Lenny said with a satisfied smile.

"Ooooow," I said in a whisper massaging the red marks on my arm and back. "I only hit you once!"

"I slapped you once for starting it, and the second for revenge! Little buddy!"

If I hadn't told you already, I'm not short. But I am the shortest in our group. And yes, they give me shit about it often enough. But it's all in good nature.

"If either of these bruise, I'm breaking your nose!" I scolded jokingly.

Lenny and I laughed at that. We could never harm each other like. Even if we wanted to, my heart couldn't.

It was then that I realized my dick wasn't erect anymore. So I rolled over onto my left side.

We had been laying silent and tired for a minute or two.

"Ty, can you hit the light?" Lenny asked, his voice sounding tired.

"Mmmm, you shut it off!" I said sounding equally as tired.

"Mmmmmmm, but I shut them off last night." Lenny groaned.

"But I didn't ask you to!"

"Fine! We'll sleep with the light on!"

"Okay."

That's the thing. The lighting doesn't affect me, I could fall asleep with the bedroom light on if I'm too tired to shut them off! But Lenny is the total opposite. The hallway light or the moonlight have no affect on him, no matter how bright they are. But if it's the bedroom light or lamp on the room, he can never get to sleep!

After less than a minute, Lenny chuckled and said, "I got it."

"Good night." I said as Lenny got back into bed after shutting the light off.

"Good night, Ty."

Again, I fell into unconsciousness quickly.

In the middle of the night, I woke up from Lenny laughing in his sleep. It's happens a little bit that Lenny will talk or laugh in his dreams. But I've never seen him cry from his dreams. But Mags and Nate have told me he has.

I rolled onto my other side and noticed Lenny had scootched over in bed, closer to me. There was about six inches between us on the queen-sized bed. The closeness flattered me. Though I'd wished it was much closer.

"Lenny, wake up! Wake up! Lenny!" I said shaking him lightly.

"What is it?" Lenny asked rubbing his eyes.

"You were laughing. What were you dreaming about?"

"Us. We were at a lake with your family. There was a camp fire and swimming. We were splashing each other." Lenny answered groggily.

"Mm. Sounds nice. You know what I forgot? Guess what day it is."

"What?"

"Happy thirteenth birthday, Leonard Alexandre Joss!"

"Mmm, I'd forgotten it was my birthday. Thanks, Tyler Christopher Bernison."

"It's Ty."

"And It's Lenny."

We both chuckled tiredly.

"Well, we should get back to sleep." I said turning back over.

I expected Lenny to slide back to his side the bed, but he didn't. And that excited me. Not so excited that I didn't fall back asleep, because I did momentarily.

But before either of us fell asleep, Lenny said "I'm thirteen-years-old," in a sleepy, yet excited voice.

"Yeah. What an amazing leap forward," I said back equally as sleepy, but sarcastic.

Lenny giggled and playfully slapped my arm. But Lenny didn't withdraw his hand from my arm. He was too tired to, I guess. I don't know how long I waited for him to take his hand back. Then I heard his breathing. I realized he was deep in his slumber again.

The hand there, lying on my arm excited me a little more.

To Be Continued...

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Questions, comments, and critiques are welcome, whether good or bad, and can be sent to

not_allgrownup@hotmail.com (your email may be filed as Junk, so in the subject box, put the title of this story)

Tyler Christopher