****************************************************************************
  *                          "NEW TO TEACHING LOVE"                          *
  *                                 (part 9)                                 *
  *                              by Vince Water               March 22, 2005 *
  ****************************************************************************
  |  Copyright 2005-2006 by Vince Water                       Corrected 5/06 |
  ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

     I hang up the phone with relief. That was one of the easier calls that
  I've made. Hawk-feathers-in-his-hand said that his son had planned on going
  to the protest after work so there wasn't any persuasion needed on my part.
  The man did ask me who I was. I've been using my Indian name when making
  calls and lots of the People didn't recognize it. They'd ask me whom I'm
  related to, where I live or if I'm even Blackfoot. Saying 'Mike Yager' in
  reply always gave them pause. In that moment, I Glean what they're thinking
  before I could stop myself. It's automatic. If you're told not to turn around
  when a loud sound startles you, could you stop yourself from turning around
  to look? Running Water had asked me not to use my power over the People and
  I'm not. At least not in a way where I use what I've Gleaned to manipulate
  them. That would be wrong.

     I'm looking up at Running Water standing at my side. He's still talking
  with Murl Reeves on his cell phone to ask if he'll be coming to the protest.
  Hmm. I've notice that not all the names on that Blackfoot Registry with the
  U.S. Government are Indian sounding. Murl's record showed that he's only a
  quarter Native. He's nineteen. I notice that my brother's chatting is very
  friendly with him and he's sure taking his time with this call. We've already
  talked with dozens of people asking if they'll be joining the protest. I hope
  that our efforts have started an avalanche of calls they'll be making to
  others in the Blackfoot community.

     "... won't be there," explains Running Water with a deep sigh. "I'm taking
  my parents to dinner tonight so I can't see you."

     Hmm. This call of his is sounding interesting. I scold myself for eaves
  dropping and turn to my laptop screen, distracting myself from listening
  further. Who should I look up next to call? I'm shrugging my shoulders. I
  can't without Running Water giving me a name but that gives me an idea.

     From the Find dialog box, I enter my lover's name. Jes-ee-ah At-the-cliffs
  appears. After clicking on Next a few times and not finding him (must be a
  common first name), I'm adding his last name which actually is his father's.
  Ah! There he is. Winna's address and telephone number are shown on Jesse's
  record that confirms this. He's twenty three years old. Already knew that. I
  also know that Jes is full blooded and I'm not surprised that the occupation
  given for him is that of a 'student'. I'm clicking on his long reference
  number to see what other information my government is keeping on him. Huh?
  It won't. Then it strikes me that I'm not looking at his record on the
  Internet. This is only a copy in MS-Word so links such as that reference
  number aren't 'alive' unless I'm connected. I've been using this phone line
  to call people.

     I'm pulling up Running Water's record. A Chinook address is given for him.
  No surprise there. He's thirty six years old, full blooded and the occupation
  shown is 'mechanic'. I already knew this about my brother. Sometime when I'm
  back on the Internet, I'll see what information my government is keeping on
  on him by clicking on his reference number and I'll look at Jesse's too.
  Will it note that they're gay? No way!

     I wonder if my name is on the Registry? After entering in my Indian name,
  Christian name and just my last name, nothing appears. Technically, I am a
  member of the Blackfoot Nation after signing those legal papers making me so.
  They're paying Mr. Talbert to act as my attorney, covering my bail and I'll
  be paid a stipend by the U.S. Government per an 1895 treaty. They 'purchased'
  what is today Glacier Park from the Blackfoot though their main income comes
  from oil and natural gas reserves found on the land they didn't lose to the
  government. That's the reason why all the People are listed on that Registry.
  Full blooded Indians likely receive more money than those who are only half
  or a quarter Blackfoot.

     What will my status be when I'm put on that Registry? 'Adopted', likely.
  Chris was adopted by Owopspec's tribe after he endured a grueling manhood
  rite that made him a Blackfoot brave in their eyes but not in their hearts.
  His white skin had set him apart and many hated him because of the soldiers'
  attacks on their tribe. Being Owopspec's lover didn't help matters. When he
  was murdered, no one raised a hand against who'd done this thing. Good-eyes
  didn't know which man it was so he stopped putting his medicine into the
  braves and warriors that protected them from being killed in battle against
  the blue-coats. In that way, he hoped Krist-o-fer's murder would be avenged
  by the rifles of his own people but that evil man still lives to this day!

     I'm searching for that man's name in the Registry and to my dismay, it
  appears. Eli Kie is recognized by the U.S. Government as being a member of
  the Blackfoot. He's half blooded, occupation is in 'law enforcement' and an
  address in Helena is given. I'm sure that he's not stupid to still be living
  there now that he's on the run. What draws my attention is the man's age -
  fifty six?! I know he was born before my former self (whom he'd murdered) but
  when I'd seen him outside my trailer attacking Jesse, he only appeared to be
  in his thirties. Eli Kie is a Trickster. That makes him nearly immortal.

     I'm startled when Running Water mentions 'Bearpaw' to that young man over
  his cell phone. The expression on his face is excitement. My ears perk up.

     "... hiking through the trees. Sure. We can do that sometime." A pause.
  "At night?" Running Water's face begins to burn from embarrassment. "I'm not
  often in the park that late." Another long pause. "Well, okay. We can go
  together to watch each other's back." He laughs nervously. "Here's my cell
  phone number..."

     I suspect the reason for Running Water's excitement. My eyes widen in
  surprise and that's when he notices that I've been listening. Without trying
  to be obvious, he turns from me to continue his conversation in a lower
  voice. I'm startled when the man swears under his breath. He starts pushing
  buttons on his cell phone but there's no beeping.

     "What's wrong?" I ask.

     "The damn battery has gone dead."

     "You have been making a lot of calls with it." Running Water tries hiding
  his stronger emotions from me but I'm getting better at reading his face.
  "You can use my phone to continue your call with Murl." He's considering it.
  "Be careful, brother. He could be after your ass." The man's startlement
  turns to anger.

     "You know." accuses Running Water. "Don't you!"

     I'm quickly shaking my head. "I didn't Glean anything from you. Really!
  The way you were talking to Murl and mentioning 'Bearpaw' had me thinking
  about gay guys who meet near the restrooms on Friday and Saturday nights."

     The man gasps. "How do you know about that?"

     "I've read the writing on the wall. Literally." A grin comes to my lips.
  "When I stopped for gas in Box Elder today, I'd gone to the bathroom. A lot
  of dirty graffiti was seen around the urinal but what caught my eye were the
  messages for guys who were looking for some fun together could find it in
  Bearpaw. I don't even know where that is."

     "It's a recreational area twelve miles south of Havre. Hawk Flying Over
  has gone there with Ron and myself for some hikes. Lots of nice trails
  through the trees. Very beautiful country."

     "You've been there." My eyes flare in warning for him not to bluff me. He
  surely knows about its 'night activities'.

     "I've cruised there," admits Running Water. "When I met Ron, there was no
  need to go anymore."

     "Is that where you met?"

     "No!" snaps Running Water. "The guys there only want to have sex. They're
  not looking for a date, take you home for the night or even ask for a name.
  Just a quickie."

     I'm uncomfortable to be pressing the issue but I must for Jesse's sake
  and mine. He could have caught something out there. "Did you go after your
  lover died?" Running Water shakes his head.

     "No. My heart was still in too much pain."

     I'm nodding sadly. Ron had been murdered five months ago so I understand
  why Running Water was hurting too much to go.

     "I'm not mourning him any longer."

     Running Water grasps my shoulder and deep longing fills his face. I know
  he's in love with me and I reveal in my face what I'm feeling for him. We
  both know why I can't give my full heart to him. Jesse had taken it first.
  "You deserve to have a man of your own. Is Murl a nice guy?"

     Running Water shrugs his shoulders. "I don't need to look for anyone."

     He's not looking 'cause I'm giving him what he needs. "You could help your
  friend find someone."

     "Murl doesn't want a boyfriend! At his age, I'd already been cruising at
  Bearpaw for four years since Sly Lizard disappointed me." Running Water
  realizes what he's said. "Ah. I suspect that a lot of old guys have been
  chasing Murl in the bush so he wants me along to guard his back."

     "They probably want to rape him." I notice Running Water going deep into
  thought. He's deciding to share something with me so I'm pulling the stool
  over for him to sit on. I look down at my knees, waiting for him to tell me
  about it.

     "That can happen to a guy out there."

     I'm only nodding in reply.

     "I was a stupid fuck in my teens!" vents Running Water. "Murl had better
  watch himself if he goes out there alone."

     "That's why you should go with him unless he wants to get himself fucked."
  I'm seeing embarrassment in my brother mixed with excitement. He's probably
  given his ass to those horny bastards out there.

     "I don't know Murl well. Until our talk just now, I didn't even suspect
  that he was gay. He knows I am."

     Everyone in the tribe knew about him and Ron. That's gonna be true for me
  when they learn that I'm with Jesse. Silence comes between us. I want to
  talk about this some more if he's willing so I'll give him a helpful nudge.
  "Murl asked if you could guard his back." I've stressed that last word.

     "I wish someone had guarded mine," says Running Water in a low voice.

     We exchange glances. "What happened?"

     "It was my fault! I let my dick get me into trouble as all." Running Water
  releases his breath in a huff. "A lot of guys out there like to suck off an
  Indian. While I was being serviced, others came to join into the fun. I got
  caught up in having my tits sucked, being kissed and one guy rimmed my ass.
  That had me surrendering to his own need for a lustful release."

     I'm grasping Running Water's knees to comfort him. My eyes remain lowered
  so he won't feel so embarrassed about it. "It wasn't your fault."

     "I could have ran away," explains Running Water. "No one was holding my
  arms at the time. Men were pleasuring me and I just got caught up in it."

     "Did you get raped?" I'm already regretting those words out of my mouth.

     "Not really. That guy behind me wasn't all that big. His cock had reach to
  pleasure my prostate. I was just a kid but he was okay with fucking me. My
  first time, too. At least he pulled out to wet on my cheeks. Probably for his
  own protection."

     I'm relieved to hear that.

     "I hated myself for letting that happen but when I got horny again, I went
  back out there to get sucked or have my dick handled."

     What about fucking? Running Water reveals his embarrassment. Yeah. He was
  still doing that. It seems pretty sad that none of the guys out there were
  trying for his love. "You never found anyone nice?"

     "I met a white guy in Bearpaw who talked with me. We exchanged names. His
  was Brad. We didn't do anything in the bush but it was the most satisfying
  time I've ever had out there. He was really nice. I was invited to a party he
  was hosting at his ranch on the July 4th weekend. I thought sure, why not?
  Maybe we'd get it on and if not, I'd meet someone at his party. To my utter
  surprise, I discovered that he was Creeps Over The Sand's lover! I'd been
  wanting to see that man away from our job since the previous summer. Ah. I've
  already told you that my friends and I were helping him renovate that bar. We
  were fucking his ass in the restroom every chance we could get."

     I'm nodding my head.

     "I finally understood why Creeps Over The Sand didn't want to see me
  beyond having sex. He'd been Brad's lover for twelve years and living with
  him. That's why I'd given him the name 'Sly Lizard' from then on because he
  liked getting it on with boys behind his lover's back."

     "I saw how you were ignoring him at that bar you took me to. If I'd known,
  I wouldn't have bothered giving him my name." Running Water smiles.

     "Sly Lizard offered to let you piss in his butt."

     "Yeah. But I used the urinal for what it's meant for while he staggered
  off into one of the stalls hoping I'd join him. No way!"

     "Well. You controlled your urges better than I have."

     "You were what? fifteen at the time and he was your first gay experience."
  Running Water nods his head but we both know he's been fucking Sly Lizard on
  and off through the years even after discovering he had a lover. That stopped
  when he met Ron.

     "Creeps Over The Sand has gotten old," remarks Running Water. "Maybe
  that's why Brad broke up with him."

     "He probably caught his lover fucking around with the boys."

     "Oh. I'm sure Brad knew about that. He fucks around, too. What often
  happens is that a white guy drops his Indian lover when he gets too old and
  ugly. Sly Lizard had been living off of his lover. No steady job and he's
  uneducated. Brad is well to do around these parts and you should see the size
  of that man's ranch."

     Running Water then lowers his eyes in shame. He's really embarrassed about
  something that happened at the party. "You can tell me if you want." He takes
  a deep breath, holds it for a moment then releases it in a sigh.

     "I was putting away beers at Brad's party. Instead of leaving as I should
  have, the night wore on with guys trying to talk with me. Many were friendly,
  maybe understanding what it's like to be a gay teen and wanting to help me
  out while other men were obviously trying to get in my pants. My anger and
  sense of betrayal at Creeps Over The Sand made me unreceptive though. I
  should have gone home!"

     I rush to give Running Water a tight hug. He pats over my back and gently
  pushes me back onto my stool.

     "I'm alright. That all happened years ago but it took me a while to get
  over what had happened that night."

     "You don't have to tell me."

     "I want to. There's been no one I could talk to about it until now. We're
  brothers. Ron would've freaked so I'd never told him out of fear that he'd
  break up with me."

     "Whatever happened wasn't your fault!" I'm assuring my brother. "You were
  just a kid then. Ron didn't come along until fourteen years later. Right?"
  Running Water nods. He gathers up his courage and tells me more.

     "The party moved outside where fireworks were set off on the road. After
  that, most of Brad's guests left. I'd gotten drunk so it was thought best
  that I stay over night. That was my thinking too since I'd rather have my
  parents worry about me until the morning than see me come home drunk. I was
  a minor then and could have gotten Brad into a lot of trouble. That was his
  main concern. He bed me down in the barn for my own safety since there were
  guys who'd be sleeping in his house. Maybe they were going to have an orgy
  and Brad didn't want a kid joining them. Fine with me.

     "Later that night, there was a commotion in the barn. A stallion's shrill
  whistle woke me up. When I went to check it out, there were five naked guys
  in his stall. Brad's stable hand had wiped the scent from a mare in heat onto
  a cloth and held it to the stallion's nose to excite him. Phil knew to hobble
  the horse first. Everyone handled the stallion's long dong so hey, I joined
  them. I've always been curious about feeling up a horse. Neither Brad nor his
  lover were there so that put me at ease.

     "I was dared to ride bareback. Sure. I've done that before but not where I
  wasn't wearing any clothes. Phil pushed me under the stallion's belly and he
  asked me to hold onto its front legs. My butt felt a seeking stab. I realized
  then what he'd meant about me riding 'bareback'. No way! Everyone laughed at
  me. My dick had gotten hard so I was up to some other fun with that horse.
  We were all handling his long dong and one man even dared to suck the tip of
  it. I was pushed onto the horse's back to 'ride' him. His sweaty hide under
  my backside felt nice. I lowered myself to rub my dick against him but before
  I could cum, the stallion bucked me off."

     I'm trying not to smile. Running Water's account of that night is very
  exciting so how was he harmed by it? Oh. Did those guys rape him afterwards?

     "I watched Phil catch the stallion's squirts into his cupped hands. He
  poured that onto my lower body in a kind of 'initiation'. I was still drunk
  so I allowed everyone to help wipe it over my dick, balls, butt and into my
  asshole with stallion cum fingered into me. That was a real turn on. Man! I
  should have figured what that was leading to."

     Running Water grasps his knees and rocks back and forth over his stool.
  I'm holding his hands. We exchange knowing glances before he continues.

     "Some guy hugs me. I thought he wanted to belly rub but he just held me
  real tight so another man could stick into my ass. I'd put up a struggle but
  I was no match to that guy's strength. He nearly lifted me off my feet in his
  tight embrace. When I was fucked, I was yelling out a lot. The barn must have
  been too far from where Brad was sleeping in his house to hear me. Two more
  men fucked me and they came inside my butt. By then, my voice was hoarse and
  I'd given up struggling. Phil carried me back to my sleeping mat on the floor
  while the others got dressed and left the barn. He seemed sympathetic to what
  happened to me. I was cleaned up but not helped into my clothes. Phil had
  other plans. When he massaged my back, I knew he wanted his turn fucking me
  but I didn't care by then. I'd must have passed out before he did me.

     "In the morning, I found myself back in my clothes and suffering from a
  hang over. My aching butt reminded me about what happened that night. After
  emptying their lust in me, I limped back to the house. I didn't tell Brad
  anything. He drove me to Chinook with such worry on his face. Was that
  because I'd gotten drunk or did he hear about my 'initiation' by his guests?
  Who knows. I swore not to be gay anymore and stayed away from Bearpaw."

     Running Water sighs. "That lasted all of three weeks. My dick ached me
  again but my heart had turned to stone. I rode my bike over to the hunting
  grounds on Friday nights not caring what those guys did to me. I often went
  home with a sore ass. I'd give them wet butts, too. There was no denying that
  I was a gay fuck so why not enjoy myself? I didn't care what happened to me."
  He realizes what he's said. "You must think that I'm horrible, Mike."

     "I don't. Really!" I'm giving my brother a long hug. When we part, he's
  spinning over his stool to look up at the kitchen clock. It's almost seven.

     "I need to go pick up my parents," says Running Water.

     I'm blocking his path to the dining room. He drops his eyes to his feet in
  shame. "I realize how hard it was for you during those first years when you
  were gay. Don't be so hard on yourself. Okay?"

     "I'm not regretting what happened to me that much. I had to learn, right?
  Having sex with all those men was exciting yet very lonely for me. I'd never
  thought I could find real love with a guy but I did. Ron proved that when we
  were together those six years."

     I give Running Water a feigned grin. So much sex in his youth! He could
  have gotten infected with AIDS or them other sexually transmitted diseases
  so I'm revealing this concern to him.

     "I had myself checked out by a doctor before I had sex with Ron. He gave
  me a clean bill of health."

     I'm glaring at Running Water to Glean if he's telling me the truth. Hmm.
  He's tested negative for AIDS but the doctor gave him some medicine in case
  he caught Chlamydia, whatever that is.

     "Will you be telling Jes-ee-ah what a dumb fuck I was in my youth?"

     "I swear to you that I won't!" Running Water is considering my promise.
  Is he thinking I can't keep my word or something?

     "Maybe you should tell him, Mike. That'll help you both consider to stop
  having sex with Simon where he could get hurt. I'm regretting what I've done
  with that kid."

     "I've been thinking that, too. You won't lose respect in Jesse's eyes if
  he knows. He's gone through something similar with Ron but he doesn't regret
  what your lover had done with him. It's made him ready to find a lover for
  himself. Me."

     "Thanks with helping me with those calls," says Running Water to change
  the subject. "You did good. Now, Jes-ee-ah will be leading a big protest in
  front of the police station before long. You'll see."

     I'm smiling in reply. I Call out to my lover and he gives me a quick mind
  burst that proves this is so. Already, there are nearly a hundred people
  walking silently behind him with raised fists at the policemen watching from
  the steps. How worried they look! Jes tries not to reveal how tired he is but
  I suspected as much. :You'll be sleeping well tonight.:

     :I'm sure of that, love.:

     Did he catch the hint that we shouldn't do anything with Simon tonight?
  After hearing what happened to Running Water in his teens, I'm more set
  against having sex with that boy anymore. I don't want his life to mirror
  what my brother has gone through.

     "How is Jesse?"

     We break contact. "Ah. He's tired. A hundred protesters have joined him!"

     "I suspect that's only the beginning. More will show up as they get off
  from work. The rain has stopped. The People we've called will only swell
  their numbers."

     I'm nodding in agreement. Running Water walks around me to enter the hall
  and I chase after him to voice one last concern. "When Murl calls, could you
  warn him about not going out there?"

     "It's already too late, Mike. He's tasted of the forbidden fruit. There's
  no stopping him now."

     I'm thinking about that when we reach the front door. "Then go with him to
  Bearpaw to guard his 'back'. He also needs to hear what you've told me so he
  won't make the same mistakes."

     "I may... but our friendship needs to grow to where I can trust Murl to
  keep my secrets. I'm the grandson of our tribe's shaman. I've already brought
  enough shame onto him."

     "No! Grandfather accepts this thing about you. Your lover did so much good
  for the People and I'm sure that having you at his side," (and in his bed),
  "...your love for Ron helped him to become a better person just as Jesse
  has by loving me."

     Running Water turns for the door. "I'll be back in about an hour with my
  parents. Tell Winna so she'll know. Okay?"

     "Sure." We're hugging for a long moment while my heart aches from knowing
  what this man had gone through in his youth! Ron saved him from himself. And
  now, maybe I have too. Sex is only a shadowy form of love that'll never be
  satisfied no matter how often you get off with guys in the bush.


     My laptop is shoved under the bed. I scoot over the covers and think over
  what Running Water has told me. Man! He's done a lot as a kid. So much gay
  sex while I was beating off between my thighs and only imagining what that'd
  be like. His was a sad story but I can't help but be turned on by it. My cock
  is straining inside my pants.

     I'm laying down over the bed to stare up at the ceiling. Running Water
  said that he didn't regret what happened to him that much. Really? I sure
  wouldn't want guys to rape me. After that incident in the barn, his heart was
  hardened against finding love so he surrendered himself to seeking a sexual
  release that a boy needs at his age. Those men in the bush used and abused
  him. He wanted them to. I wonder if he was fucked a lot? I'd be mightily
  tempted to stick into an Indian boy's ass if it were offered to me. My jeans
  are pulled down to my feet.

     Would I have been as wild as Running Water at sixteen? Yeah, maybe. I'm
  imagining what that would have been like for him. Guilt fills me. I shouldn't
  be using what he's told me to get excited but I'm feeling too horny right
  now. A 'Bearpaw fantasy' forms in my head. (1)


     I'm enjoying that tired feeling that comes afterwards. A nap would suit
  me fine but I can't. Winna should be coming home any time now so if I doze
  off, she might come into the bedroom looking for me and won't that be an
  embarrassing sight! My pants and underwear are down at my feet. The wet
  result from my fantasy can be seen across my right thigh. Man! I'd better
  clean that up.

     I stagger across the room with my jeans sagging about my ankles. From a
  drawer, I'm taking a washcloth and bottle of water my lover keeps in there.
  My sticky thighs are cleaned. Some guilt comes to me. I'd gotten off without
  being in Jesse's arms where sex is a wonderful part of our expression of
  love for each other. Beating off alone seems like a cheat.

     I'm staggering back to bed and sit over it while my thighs dry off. My
  back is to the door just in case I don't hear Winna returning home. Hmm.
  Maybe I'm being too hard on myself. What I've done in bed just kinda happened
  from feeling horny. My fantasy overwhelmed me. Running Water and I enjoyed
  having sex in the tub earlier but my cock had gotten off only from a sense of
  relieving the pressure when he fucked me that second time. My butt enjoyed
  his ride. Man! He's a powerful Indian warrior and such need in him! I was
  glad to satisfy him. It wasn't that pleasurable to me as a man. The front of
  my body, I mean. Not like beating off between my thighs as I've been doing
  since I was nine. It's a simple pleasure. Doing that by myself.

     Jesse will be returning home late tonight after the protest and tired as
  hell. I'll put him to bed. For sleeping. He'll be too exhausted for us to
  make love and that'll also ensure that Simon sleeps alone in the front room.
  I'm rather glad about that. Jes and I really need to talk about whether we
  should be having sex with the boy. My lover had intended on breaking in his
  little butt tonight with me getting a turn at fucking him but after hearing
  what's happened to Running Water in his teens has put some sense in my head.

     I pull up my underwear and jeans. After checking myself out in the mirror,
  a comb is taken to my hair. I'm looking forward to dinner tonight from being
  hungry (I've not eaten since breakfast) but it's gonna be a formal occasion.
  Running Water is bringing his parents. They must know that I'm gay because
  they'd known about their son's relationship with Ron these past six years.
  Were they okay with it? I'm sure that my brother hasn't revealed to his
  parents that he'd been sexually active in his teens. Even earlier in age than
  Jesse was when he...

     Running Water's parents are likely gonna think that I'm taking advantage
  of Winna's son! Jesse is only in his early twenties and autistic and all.
  They don't know that my lover was already fucking around before we met. With
  Ron. I'm not gonna dare say anything about that to them even if they start
  making remarks that I've taken advantage of Jesse's 'innocence'. Hah! He's
  the one who jumped me.

     A sigh escapes my lips. I'll just have to wait until dinner to find out
  what Running Water's parents think about my relationship with Jesse. At
  least Winna accepts it.


     After emptying my butt of Running Water's cum (two loads worth) in the
  toilet, I wash my hands and face then make my way to the front room. I'm
  sitting on the couch watching television. Wheel of Fortune is on. It gives me
  a sense of being back home in Indiana where I'd be watching this game show at
  7:30. My extended vacation from work was gonna last until June but everything
  has changed. I'll be staying here with Jes. The rent on my apartment has
  been paid up until July so before then, I'll need to fly back to Indianapolis
  and empty it of stuff. It'd be too much to ask my parents to do that for me.
  There's also my car to attend to. This will be a good excuse to get back
  down there to see my parents (as I've promised them), say goodbye to friends
  and break the remaining ties I have there. My new life is here in Montana.

     My shoulders sag when remembering the legal trouble that I'm in. Court is
  this Monday. Mr. Talbert said that he'll be putting some motions before the
  judge that'll delay my actual trial but my day of reckoning will come. I
  think I'm gonna serve some time in prison for assaulting that police officer.
  Even if my lawyer can prove that Lt. Danielson was a dirty cop, that doesn't
  excuse the brutality of my attack on him even in defense of my friend. Mr.
  Benton has offered me a plea bargain but it's a terrible one! Ten years in a
  minimum security prison if I plead guilty. That's nearly half my lifetime so
  far! I'd be separated from Jesse and face getting raped or worse by the
  imamates. How could I last ten years in there without being changed by the
  'correctional' process? I'll be thirty five by the time I'm released. Would I
  remain the man that Jesse loves afterwards?

     Anger fills me. I'm not going down without a fight! I'd rather risk
  serving twelve years in a maximum security prison if a jury finds me guilty.
  I'll be taking down a bunch of people with me when the truth comes out in
  court. Lt. Scott Danielson was a dirty cop! His 'good name' will be ruined
  and what his brother did to me in revenge will remove him as police chief.
  Bill Ruston didn't deserve to get removed as police chief because he didn't
  do anything wrong like the D.A. claims. Why did Internal Affairs switch their
  position from going after Danielson (when his misconduct was reported to
  them) to where Captain Ruston is now under investigation? Even Mr. Talbert
  can't make sense of that. My dream returns from this morning. Mr. Benton is
  cheating somehow. I gotta find out what that is and make him own up to it.

     The audience is clapping for a woman who solved the puzzle. Pat Sajak is
  about to reveal her mystery prize when I hear the front door opening. The
  television is shut off. I'm springing to my feet to see who it is.

     Winna sets her keys on the peg. She looks really tired so I'm quick to
  take the bags of groceries from her arms. I'm given her smile of gratitude.
  We walk down the hall towards the kitchen in silence though both of us are
  bursting to talk about Jesse. She beats me to it.

     "How is my son?"

     "I've seen him on T.V. You would proud of him, Winna."

     "How is he holding up? Tell me honestly, Short Hair."

     Ah. She's invoked my Indian name so I'm being asked to tell her what I
  know from Speaking with Jesse mind to mind. "He's tired of course. At least
  a hundred People have joined his protest!"

     "I know. Who's that boy holding the umbrella for my son?"

     "He's Simon." Winna gives me a startled look and I'm startled too that
  she'd seen him at the protest.

     "I'd driven past the police station after work," Winna explains. "It's
  really snarled up the traffic so that's why I'm late getting home." The woman
  begins rushing around her kitchen to prepare dinner.

     "You still have some time," I'm assuring Winna. "Running Water left here
  about a half an hour ago to go pick up his parents." I look up at the clock.
  "They won't be here until after eight. Is there anything I can do to help?"

     "You can set the table for me, please."

     "Sure." Winna points out where her good dishes are kept in the cabinet.
  I take down plates for seven people. Glasses, silverware and cloth napkins
  are also collected.

     "Mike. Why seven settings?"

     "Oh. Simon will be joining us tonight." That draws the woman's glaring so
  I'm reluctant to tell her that the boy will be sleeping over here tonight.
  She knows we've been 'instructing' this gay youth in things. I'm rushing to
  the dining room to set the table. Several trips are made back to the kitchen
  where I avert my eyes from Winna. She's busy chopping vegetables.

     I'm finished with setting the table so there's no use avoiding the woman.
  I come to stand by a stool and consider sitting down in it. Winna turns to me
  with a troubled look on her face. I become tense.

     "Ah, Mike. We'll need bowls as well for the meal."

     I'm nearly running over to the cabinet to fetch them.

     "Running Water's father has been ill. I know that he likes my bighorn
  sheep stew and it'll be easy on his stomach."

     Seven bowls are carried to the dining room table. I'm taking my time here
  since I suspect Winna wants to talk with me about Simon. There are only five
  candles centering the table so two more will need to be added. Where does she
  keep them? I'll Ask.

     :They're in the buffet,: Jesse Answers. :The lower left drawer.:

     :Thanks.: I'm fetching the candles when my lovers Speaks to me again.

     :Does my mother know?:

     Jes means about having Simon spend the night here. :No. I didn't tell her
  but she knows that the boy will be eating with us.:

     :Don't bring it up to her. I will. Have my uncle's parents arrived?:

     :No. Running Water has gone to fetch them so they won't be here until
  after eight. When will you be coming home?:

     :Not until after nine,: Jesse Answers wearily. :The protest has really
  gotten big! There are hundreds of People walking behind me and the reporters
  are interviewing some of them for T.V. Whenever a camera light shines on us,
  Simon blocks them with his umbrella. He's so protective of me.:

     :How are you holding up?:

     :I'll be glad when this is over. A shower for me and then onto bed.:

     I resist the urge to broach the subject about breaking in Simon tonight.
  Jes will be too tired for that anyway. I'm glad that I've gotten off a few
  times today so there won't be any temptation in me to 'wander' into the front
  room where the boy will be sleeping. Winna doesn't work tomorrow. That'll
  prevent us from getting with him then.

     :I'll let you know when you can pick me up. As war leader, I must be the
  last to leave and that'll also prevent the reporters from trying to interview
  you when you come.:

     :Okay. Around nine?: I Ask.

     :Probably later than that, love. I'll Call out to you.:

     :Okay.: I'm still amazed that our Connection allows us to mind talk even
  at a distance. It's a wonderful form of communication. We Share more than
  clumsy words but thoughts, emotions and even images when we Talk.

     :Be good tonight.:

     :I promise.: Jes means when I take dinner with Running Water's parents.
  He's concerned that they may say something ill towards my relationship with
  Winna's son. I don't think they will. Their own son is gay and he was with
  Ron for six years. Winna won't raise a bad word against me tonight for being
  with her son. At least I hope she won't.

     :I miss you, love!:

     :I do too!: Guilt fills me for being with Running Water this afternoon and
  when I'd beat off in bed afterwards. I'm scolding myself. Jes wouldn't mind
  (he wants me to be with his uncle). Why we're missing each other is not just
  about having sex. We need each other. Our special bond keeps us in contact
  but we still ache to be physically together. I do love holding Jesse! Even
  if that's only in clothes. To see him! His shy smile and the beauty of his
  slim form but what captivates me are his eyes. The utter love in them for me.
  It's nearly a physical pain not to be seeing him right now.

     There's a knock on the front door. I'm running down the hall to greet
  Running Water and his parents. To my surprise, it's not them. The woman gives
  me her name. Toni Spruell? Oh! She'd left me a message on Winna's answering
  machine to apologize for her reporter bopping me in the mouth with his
  microphone last night.

     "May I come in?" the woman asks.

     I'm looking behind her for a cameraman but find none. In fact, there's no
  Guardian watching over the house otherwise they'd have called to warn me
  about this reporter and stopped her from knocking on the door.

     "What do you want?" My voice reflects my suspicion about why she has come
  to see me.

     "To apologize for what happened last night, in part."

     "I heard your message already. I'm alright. No harm done."

     "Yes, well. He is one of my station's younger reporters so I'm sorry
  about what happened. I heard that your lip was split open."

     How did she learn about that? Anger fills me because it seems like my life
  has become an open book in this town. "All you reporters are so aggressive."

     "People want to know what's going on. That's their job to report it."

     "Yeah, sure." Ms. Spruell remains standing on my doorstep. I take this
  moment to really look at her. She's white. Maybe in her late forties and I'm
  noticing the professional clothes she wears. Not a reporter but someone high
  up at the news station.

     "Mr. Yager. I can understand what you've been going through and believe
  me, I've come here to find out if I can help you in any way."

     She seems sincere about that. "Help me. How?"

     Ms. Spruell takes a deep breath. "I think you've been caught up in things
  way beyond you that concern me." A pause. "Politics."

     The tiny hairs lift at the back of my neck when she uttered that last
  thing. It's a warning word the Bene Gesserit invoked so I'll test her to see
  if that's what she meant. "I've read Frank Herbert's Dune series."

     "Yes. And like those sisters, I'm concerned that people aren't asking the
  right questions to learn the truth about what's going on. Anything you can
  tell me will be off the record. I promise. Captain Ruston has served our town
  for many years and he shouldn't be taking the fall for others."

     "Come inside," I whisper. Ms. Spruell follows me into the hall. The door
  is closed behind her and we enter the front room. She strides over to the
  couch. Goose bumps form over my skin by her sense of Presence that comes
  from some personal power. Not 'Indian magic' but akin to it. I'm a bit
  scared to sit down beside her so I drop to the coffee table instead.

     We stare at each other in the ensuing silence. She straightens out her
  business suit that momentarily breaks her cat like gaze on me. I try Gleaning
  her but to my amazement, nothing happens.

     "Tell me about Eli Kie."

     My mouth opens of its own accord but I resist her use of Voice. My eyes
  widen in surprise. "He's a very dangerous man."

     "I know," says Ms. Spruell.

     Does she really? That evil man has pledged himself to the Darkness. He
  murdered my former self, killed Ron during his attempt to steal back the
  tribe's Power Bundle, attacked my lover, and slew Scott Danielson and Miss
  Thomas to ensure their silence. None of this can be told the woman. She
  wouldn't believe me if I did.

     "All this trouble began with him. Didn't it?"

     I'm only nodding.

     "I know what he is, Mike."

     Goose bumps break over my arms anew and I'm feeling my hair standing up
  on end. "What do you know about him?" I ask.

     "He doesn't look his age," answers Ms. Spruell. "I've checked into that
  man's past and discovered things. I think you already know what they are."

     I'm keeping very still.

     "Do you know where he might have gone?"

     "No." I've said that too strongly and it sounds like a lie in my own ears.
  "The police are looking for him concerning the murders of Scott Danielson and
  Miss Thomas."

     "I doubt they'll find him."

     I'll test her knowledge. "He can hide in the shadows." Ms. Spruell frowns.

     "That is a Trickster's ability on moonless nights."

     A cold chill runs down my spine and into my legs. I'm swallowing nervously
  in my throat.

     "He has fled the State in the direction of the setting sun. You need not
  be concerned about him anymore."

     "Are you pursuing him?" I ask with a trembling voice.

     "My sisters and I are. Woe be to him if we find him."

     "Are you a shaman?"

     The woman smiles like a cat. "We follow a different discipline but our
  goals are the same. To combat evil."

     I'm gasping for breath. Is she a white witch? A few weeks ago, I'd scuff
  at that notion but not anymore. Not after I've seen Indian magic and practice
  it myself by Gleaning things from people and I Share a connection with Jes.
  "He is being pursued by an Omaha shaman." Why did I tell her that!

     "I know of whom you speak."

     She does! I'm barely giving her a nod. Relief fills the woman and her
  breath comes out as a deep sigh. In that moment, I Glean something from her.
  She's associated with Charms A Bird before though the face I'm Seeing in my
  mind from her is that of an old man who went by the name Runs-through-grass.

     "Eli Kie has fled but the taint of his evil remains here to do its work.
  I want to help you, Mike."

     "How?"

     "Tell me what you know about Lt. John Danielson."

     "He's not in the service of Evil."

     "Maybe not. But from grief, he blindly walks that path towards his ill
  and for others. My concern is for Bill Ruston. He is a good man who has
  served the people of this town for many years. I would see him restored as
  police chief so he may continue to do so."

     I take a deep breath. My mouth spills out everything that I know about
  Lt. John Danielson. Him questioning me about his brother's murder, when he
  ordered Officer Weston to place me in that padded cell and that John told
  him that he saw to it that the video surveillance tape proving my guard had
  taunted me was 'lost'. I add that these charges were brought to the attention
  of Internal Affairs by Captain Ruston but a few hours later, they turned
  their investigation towards him and he was put on administrative leave.

     "Someone influenced Internal Affairs to ignore those charges against that
  lieutenant and go after Bill instead," says Ms. Spruell. "The city council
  appointed John as interim police chief. I wonder if they were influenced as
  well in their decision and if it was by the same man."

     My dream from this morning returns to me. "It's Mr. Benton."

     "You know this?" asks Ms. Spruell.

     "Not exactly... but wouldn't it make sense that that man arranged things
  so his case against me won't fall apart after my civil rights were violated?
  He's cheating somehow."

     "I'll look into it, Mike."

     "Is there anything you can do to help me with my troubles?" I ask.

     The woman smiles. "You are in good hands already, Mike, and you're not
  without abilities of your own. Place your trust in them." Ms. Spruell thinks
  for a moment then gets up from the couch.

     She's leaving already? I have so many damn questions to ask her! When I
  pursue her to the front door, the woman turns to me and presses her hand
  against my heart.

     "There is light at the end of the tunnel. Don't give in to woe when the
  storm is at its fiercest."

     Things are gonna get worse for me? Man! I hope she's only saying that and
  not warning me of something she's Seen. My eyes bore into her.

     "We'll meet again, Mike. Keep to yourself what we've discussed and what
  you know about me." The woman's cat like eyes are shining.

     She's out the door and walking towards the street where I'm half expecting
  to see her fly off on a broom. The woman gets into a white car. That figures.
  I close the front door and lock it. Hmm. What did she really come here for?
  I'm realizing that she learned more from me than I got in return. She wanted
  to know where Eli Kie has fled. Once I'd assured her that Charms A Bird was
  after him, that satisfied her purpose for seeing me. There was that talk
  about Scott Danielson and helping restore Bill Ruston as police chief. What
  about her helping me?

     "Who was that woman?" asks Winna.

     I'm startled from my thoughts and turn to face her. "A friend." Winna
  gives me a strange look. I wonder why I'd said that about Ms. Spruell and
  realize that had come from my heart. Okay. I'll trust in that.

     "Why don't you watch some T.V. so you can look out for Running Water's
  arrival? I have things to do in the kitchen."

     "Sure." I'm relieved that Winna hasn't pressed me to say more about my
  unexpected visitor. She scurries off to the kitchen. I drop into her comfort
  chair and switch the television on. Running Water and his parents should be
  arriving soon.


     "Storm Crow's son was bucked off that mustang's back," laughs Hawk-in-sky.
  "That boy suffered a sore backside for a few days but his injured pride will
  take longer to get over."

     Everyone's laughing. Winna smiles and I realize that she's forgone her
  rule about not speaking at the dinner table. It must be because the woman is
  hungry for family news and she's been given an earful this past half hour.

     "Do you ride, Short Hair?"

     "Yes, Elder. I was taught English style riding where the saddle is hardly
  that so balance is required to keep on a horse. It's not unlike how the
  People once rode their mounts. It makes me feel more at one with the animal
  bearing me through the prairies." My thoughts turn deep. As Christopher, I
  was taught to ride bareback by Owopspec and he'd gifted me a fine brown mare
  won on the battlefield from the blue-coats.

     "Do you miss those days?" asks Hawk-in-sky.

     I'm taken back by the man's question. He knows about my former self? Yeah.
  I think he does so grandfather must have told him. I'm only nodding in reply.

     "I hear that Jes-ee-ah's elder spirit has been set at ease in him. The
  wisdom from my father's grandfather is there for the boy to draw upon. Is
  this not so?"

     I'm startled. It makes me uneasy that Hawk-in-sky is so casual about such
  a remarkable thing that my lover and I possess. Our former selves. We can
  draw on their memories and even speak with those persons who were us in our
  previous lives. I've Merged with Chris. That means I'm no longer who I was as
  Mike since my very thoughts and feelings come from two people. Jes hasn't
  Merged with Good-eyes. Yet as this man suspects, he can still draw on that
  shaman's wisdom at need. I wonder why Hawk-in-sky is bringing this matter up
  around the dinner table?

     Running Water reveals his own discomfort. He's glaring at his father and
  when they exchange glances, Hawk-in-sky turns his attention back to eating.
  Warm-blanket-for-man breaks off a piece of bread from the loaf and she hands
  it over to her husband. He dips it into the bighorn sheep stew.

     The rest of our meal is in silence. I've already finished due to my hunger
  so I'm nibbling on orange slices. Running Water has kept his eyes from me
  ever since they've arrived. His father is friendly to me. That comes as a
  relief since the two previous occasions where we've met had me wondering how
  he's felt. In Chinook, when his son had driven me to his motorcycle shop to
  purchase a replacement chain, he'd stood silently watching me. He spoke to
  me some after that big gathering in Browning where I met his wife. She's
  very quiet. I don't think this woman has spoken more than a dozen words
  while she's been here. Her eyes have also not sought mine out. I'm Sensing
  that Running Water and his mother have had words concerning me but as to
  what they were, I'm not Gleaning it.

     I look around the table and see that everyone has finished what was on
  their plates. Winna is a wonderful cook. I was surprised by how much I've
  enjoyed her grilled rabbit. As Mike, I've never eaten that animal before but
  my former self has lots of times. It's considered a tasty treat amongst the
  Blackfoot. My thoughts turn deep when I recall the jackrabbit drives of old.

     When our tribe set up camp near a wide river or there were ponds nearby,
  those places were fairly alive with jackrabbits. A fine net was woven from
  milkweed stalks and grass, set between two bushes to serve as a stop trap.
  Two lines of boys marched out at an angle from each bush. They held sticks
  about two feet long. When they'd formed two long wings from the net of a few
  hundred yards, the outermost boys closed in to drive the rabbits inwards. If
  any come close, a stick was thrown spinning at a rabbit that usually broke
  its leg. Them jackrabbits sought escape between the bushes but didn't see
  that their way was barred. Hundreds ran this way and that. Many escaped
  through the two lines of boys but a good number were struck by flying sticks
  or were clubbed at the net.

     I remember catching a rabbit between my legs! That was a rare feat. The
  other boys were in awe of my accomplishment but a sad moment came when I was
  urged to snap its neck. I'd felt the rabbit's soft quivering body. It mewed
  in panic while my legs held it fast so I considered allowing it to escape.
  Yet to do so would shame me in front of the other boys. With a heavy heart, I
  killed it. My cooked rabbit was offered to Strong-as-the-mountain, Owopspec's
  grandfather to honor him. I in turn was honored by him when he praised me for
  catching a quick rabbit with obviously quicker feet.

     Winna gets up from her chair. When it seems like she's gonna clear the
  table, I spring to my feet. "Mother. Let me do that for you." She smiles in
  gratitude for a good son. It gives me a warm feeling inside. I go around the
  table collecting plates and bowls while setting their silverware in the
  topmost one. Warm-blanket-for-man peers up at me when I'm reaching down for
  her dishes. It's the first time our eyes met tonight. A cold shiver runs down
  my spine. I'm Sensing anger in this woman.

     Several trips are taken to the kitchen until the sink is stacked with
  dishes. I task myself with cleaning them. This will give Winna's guests the
  opportunity to speak more freely now that I'm out of the way. It's known that
  I understand Siksika. They've been conversing in that during the meal and no
  one had batted an eye when my replies to them were in that tongue.

     I'll take my time with washing here. The sink is nearly unmanageable due
  to so many dishes but I sadly note the absence of two place settings. Winna
  decided not to wait for her son's return to serve supper when I told her that
  Jesse didn't think he'd be Calling me to pick him up from the protest until
  after nine. I'm peering up at the clock. It's nearly that now. :Jes?:

     :The protest is in full swing now,: Jesse Answers. :I think there are
  over five hundred of the People walking behind me!:

     :It's nine already.:

     :Really? I don't think I'll be getting home for at least another hour. Has
  mom started dinner yet?:

     :Yes. We're done eating and I'm cleaning the dishes.: I Sense a presence
  behind me. A woman's voice startles me from mind speaking with Jes.

     "You have both hands full."

     I turn to Warm-blanket-for-man uneasily. She's not talking about the
  dishes that I'm cleaning. Anger is barely kept from showing on her face.

     "You are with Winna's son. Why do you also pursue my son whose heart is
  vulnerable after so recently losing his companion?"

     I'm swallowing nervously in my throat. The boldness of this woman! To
  voice this thing so directly and with such anger proves her concern for
  Running Water. That I've taken advantage of him. Man! She's got it all wrong.
  He'd jumped me all them weeks ago to have sex but I'd thwarted his advances.
  When we came to know each other better and received Jesse's blessings, then
  our love grew and we're expressing what is in our hearts for each other.

     "Ron wasn't a greedy white skin!" scolds Warm-blanket-for-man.

     She'd spoken that insult directed at me in Siksika. The dish that I've
  been drying falls from my hands...

     "You lead the People in an unworthy cause!" shouts a man wearing a cowboy
  hat. He advances with a shaking fist.

     I hear a crash at my feet while Jesse's heart crashes with deep fear. I'm
  Seeing what's happening at the protest through my lover's eyes. That man in
  the cowboy hat comes to stand face to face with Jes.

     "The People shouldn't waste their efforts on a white skin when his people
  are polluting our streams that's killed thousands of fish we depend upon."

     Similar shouts are raised from behind him. Camera lights shine upon this
  small group of protesters that encourages them onto greater violence. Signs
  are tossed at the line of policemen standing behind the barriers. A camera
  light blinds Jesse who was already stunned by the man's confrontation. He's
  afraid things will get out of control. What should he do?

     :Strike him with your coup stick!: I mind shout. Jesse is reluctant to do
  so, fearing that would provoke this man to attack him. :He has already! Your
  authority by the tribal council is being challenged by this foolish one so
  put him in his place. He's broken his pledge to keep the peace during the
  Blackfoot protest even though he came here on another matter. Strike him!:

     Jesse whips his feathered coup stick down at the man's leg and snags it,
  causing him to fall. My lover shouts in a voice I don't recognize from him.

     "You have brought shame to our People by your violence! Leave us."

     Two Chinook policemen descend upon the fallen man. I recognize Officers
  Corn-stalk-at-harvest and Dry-to-foot-in-grass who had accompanied me to the
  Havre Police station when I'd given myself up. They pick up the startled man
  from the sidewalk with both his arms pinned in theirs. He's taken away.

     Jesse points his coup stick menacingly at the remaining small band of
  protesters who were led by that man wearing the cowboy hat. Bright lights
  from the news reporters' video cameras reveal them cowering before their
  tribe's war leader. Pride fills me for my lover. :You did good!: I Send.

     :That was Good-eyes acting through me,: Answers Jesse meekly.

     I Sense my lover's fear that he's being possessed by his former self. Our
  link deepens. No. I don't Feel that he's trying to, only helping out Jes in
  his moment of doubt. He needs to be assured of this. :Don't worry. Good-eyes
  has promised that he won't. I'd felt Chris coming up in me to help sometimes
  but he always withdrew.:

     :Before your Merging?:

     :Yes. Now, we act as one.: Relief fills my lover when he assumes full
  control over himself. Good-eyes' presence is not Felt by either of us. Simon
  lifts his right hand in a fist and takes a step forward. Jesse quickly joins
  him by leading the hundreds of People along the barriers in silence. Those
  men who'd been protesting about the mines killing fish slink off to the
  street though a few join Jes in his protest.

     I return to myself. I'm sitting on the kitchen floor with Running Water
  kneeled at my side. Winna, Hawk-in-sky and Warm-blanket-for-man stand before
  me with concern on their faces. "I'm alright now."

     "What has happened to my son?" asks Winna.

     I look up at her. Reluctance fills me to answer because that would reveal
  my Connection to Jesse in front of the others. How we're able to mind speak.

     "We know about your special bond with Jes-ee-ah," says Hawk-in-sky.
  "Please tell us what has happened."

     I'm peering at Running Water for his assurances. To my surprise, he hugs
  me and tears of relief fill my eyes. "He's okay!" I look up at Winna and tell
  her what's happened. "There was trouble but your son is alright. A man who
  was leading the protest against the mines had challenged Jes-ee-ah. He said
  that it was unworthy for him to lead the People on behalf of a white skin.
  Me. They started shouting and threw their signs at the policemen. The whole
  situation was getting out of control. I Asked Jes to strike him with his coup
  stick. He did. After the man fell to the sidewalk, Two Chinook Officers took
  him away and his followers disbanded. The protest has returned peaceful."

     "When will my son be coming home?" Winna asks with a trembling voice.

     "Not for another hour or so. More than five hundred of the People are
  following behind him and the news stations are reporting this. He'll Call on
  me when it's over with."

     Running Water helps me up to my feet. I notice the broken shards to a dish
  lying on the floor near the sink. "I'm sorry about that, Winna." When I go
  to clean it up, she asks me not to and fetches a broom and dustpan to do so
  herself. I'm taken through the dining room in hand by my brother until we
  reach the front room. We sit down on the couch.

     "Are you alright?" asks Running Water.

     "Yes." I'm taking a deep breath and wipe the tears from my eyes. "I looked
  really silly back there, didn't I?"

     "No... You didn't. They understand what you're going through with Jesse.
  They know how much you love him."

     "Your mother doesn't. About us, I mean." My eyes pain me and tears fill
  them anew.

     "What did she say to you in the kitchen!"

     I'm breathing in noisily through my nose. I decide not to tell him by
  shaking my head back and forth yet the hurt in my eyes cannot be hidden from
  Running Water.

     "Damn! She shouldn't have said anything to you, Mike. We've spoken about
  you and I thought she understood."

     "Understood what?" Oh. I see the pain in Running Water's eyes and Glean
  (I couldn't help myself!) that he addressed his mother's suspicions about us
  being together. He told her it was okay with Jesse since it didn't upset his
  relationship with me.

     "Please just tell me what my mother said to..." Running Water's loud voice
  trails off when seeing his father enter the front room.

     Hawk-in-sky ambles his way over to us in a slow limp walk. Running Water
  gets up from the couch but his father sits down on the far side, gesturing
  for his son to take his seat between us. They're both thin men. I remember
  how much space Winna takes up when we've sat on this couch together.

     "Go ahead with what you were asking Short Hair."

     Running Water sucks in a sharp breath through his teeth. I'm turning my
  face towards the front window to ignore his father's question.

     "What did my wife say to you in the kitchen?" demands Hawk-in-sky.

     I reluctantly turn to the old man. Running Water's face is guarded but I
  can Sense his great uneasiness. "Elder..." I'm shutting my mouth tight.

     "Yes. I am your Elder so answer me."

     My brother and I exchange glances. I can't tell from his face if I should
  or not. This man isn't my father.

     Hawk-in-sky releases an angry huff. "Warm-blanket-for-man said something
  that's given you a bad heart. It's about you being with my son, isn't it?"

     I'm barely nodding.

     "That's a mother for you." The man turns to his son. "Our Inspired One has
  told me and I'm not against this thing between you and Short Hair. Both of
  you needed each other. My son, it lightens my heart to see you happy again
  after losing your companion. He was a good man who served our tribe. He also
  settled you down from your... wanderings."

     I see Running Water's eyes flash. Does his father know about him hunting
  for sex at the Bearpaw Recreational Area?

     "Short Hair. Our Inspired One told me how my son has helped you these past
  two weeks until your special bond with Jes-ee-ah had settled. I don't doubt
  your love for Winna's son. Is it not enough to satisfy your heart?"

     I'm giving Running Water a troubled look because I fear what his father's
  words are leading to. Boldness comes into me to stop them. "I also love your
  son! My heart is big enough for them both so please don't raise a bad word
  against it or ask us to stop how we're feeling for each other!"

     "I wasn't," answers Hawk-in-sky in a sharp voice. He peers up at his son.
  "What do you have to say about this? Do you really love Short Hair?"

     "Yes. I do, father."

     "Jes-ee-ah understands! He's even asked me to be with Running Water when I
  had my doubts."

     "Hmm. That is good to hear, Short Hair. I do not fully understand how this
  can be between three men but you are old enough to make your own decisions.
  I did not mean to interfere yet my wife has taken it upon herself to do so
  and thus I'm forced to bring this matter up myself. I will speak with her. A
  woman should know her place even though she be Running Water's mother."

     Hawk-in-sky chuckles softly. That has me grinning but Running Water keeps
  his face plain of emotion. I reach over and grasp his brown hand. All my love
  for this man pours from my heart to him. He responds. A smile forms on his
  lips that comes mostly from feeling relief that his father is not against us
  being together. His fingers tighten around my hand. I see the longing on his
  face for me that he no longer has to hide from others. At least not from his
  father. That burden has been lifted from my brother's shoulders. I know how
  joyous that can be since that same burden had been taken from mine when Winna
  came to accept my love for her son.

     "I should have told you before how happy I was that you were with Ron."

     Running Water gasps. His father holds his left shoulder in assurance.

     "Your mother didn't understand it or accept where your spirit led you so I
  kept my peace. I should have spoken up. For that, I am sorry my son. It would
  have given you some peace and brought the two of you over to stay at our home
  more often. I'd have welcomed him as a son-in-law."

     "Father..."

     I see tears forming in Running Water's eyes. It aches me to see my brother
  moved by such strong emotion which are difficult for him to handle. His face
  turns to stone but he loses control after a moment. He begins to sob. I'm
  pulling on his hand and reach for his left side to bring this man against my
  chest. He quails against me. Silent sobbing with his tears wetting my shirt.
  Hawk-in-sky tries calming his son. We hold him between us for a long while.


     Running Water has regain control of himself. His face is flushed with
  embarrassment. We continue sitting on the couch with him but in silence.
  Warm-blanket-for-man had peeked in on us from the dining room a moment ago
  but her husband flung a hand gesture that said 'Away!' It's something Chris
  had seen done at a woman when the men were holding a big talk amongst
  themselves and wouldn't suffer her presence.

     "I will speak with my wife later," says Hawk-in-sky.

     "She won't understand this thing any more than when I was with Ron."

     "That may prove so, my son yet she will keep her peace and honor the man
  you are. I'll see to it. I am sorry, Short Hair. My wife should not have
  shamed you earlier."

     "It's alright, Elder. I expect that the People won't understand when they
  learn I'm with Jes-ee-ah. My relationship with your son will be kept hidden.
  I won't stand for him to be shamed in their eyes."

     "Yes. I agree that you must. For a married couple, it is not acceptable
  for one of them to love outside their union. That is what most troubles my
  wife, I suspect. She's had to accept her son's relationship with Ron or at
  least tolerate it but she sees you as taking advantage of him."

     "'You have both hands full.' That's what your wife told me in the kitchen
  and her more harsher words... well. You are right about Warm-blanket-for-man.
  She scolded me for being with your son since I'm already with Winna's son.
  That had been difficult for me to accept myself at first but no longer. We're
  gay. There's no need to keep fidelity amongst such men since no baby will
  come from it. I don't lie with Running Water just for the pleasure of it. My
  heart is filled with love for him!" I feel tears forming in my eyes.

     "Enough has been said about this," warns Hawk-in-sky. "I do not want you
  or my son crying again! My heart is at ease about this thing so put it past
  us. There is another important matter that I must voice."

     Running Water gives his father a curious look. My hand tightens around
  his when we wait for Hawk-in-sky to tell us what that is. The man releases a
  weary huff.

     "My father is old. Old! I fear he won't be seeing that many more moons."

     Fear squeezes my stomach. "Is he not well?" I ask in alarm.

     "He's regained some strength after returning from his trip to Great Falls
  but what concerns me is that Jes-ee-ah won't be given enough time with him
  before he must assume the duties as our Inspired One."

     I'm bowing my head in grief. So. Grandfather is dying and he fears that
  the chosen one to follow in his footsteps has come too late to be properly
  trained. Grandfather's second born son had begun training but that man had
  been murdered. I suspect that Eli Kie had done this thing, thus denying the
  tribe their next shaman. Grandfather's second chosen had also been slain. He
  was Hawk-in-sky's son, Running Water's elder brother. Now it falls to Jesse
  if he too isn't rubbed out by Evil before he's trained. Power to protect
  himself from a Trickster is given him when he becomes an Inspired One. That's
  why grandfather didn't fear Eli Kie coming after him.

     I now understand Hawk-in-sky's earlier question upon me at the dinner
  table. He hopes that Jesse's former self who was a great shaman of the
  People will take over the training he requires when grandfather goes Above.
  "Good-eyes will guide him." I'd uttered that in old Siksika.

     "That will be a comfort to my father," answers Hawk-in-sky in like kind.
  "Jes-ee-ah is also fortunate to have a companion to guard his back. My
  father's previous trainees were rubbed out before they could serve."

     "I know. From my heart, I thank you for your kind words. I'm pledged to
  keep Jes-ee-ah from harm. Your son has made this possible when I faced doubt
  and great fear that nearly had me running back to Indiana."

     "Our Inspired One has told me this. But of the other matter, your words of
  assurance about Good-eyes are new to my ears. My father would not tell me if
  this were so because I don't think he's sure himself. That was what your trip
  to Great Falls was about. To ease Jes-ee-ah's elder spirit in him and I'm
  told that the Inspired One from the Omaha People has done so."

     "Yes. Charms A Bird has helped my companion. In the days that followed,
  Jes-ee-ah has spoken with his former self. There's no danger of possession
  anymore. Good-eyes acted through him this very night when he faced trouble at
  the protest. I urged Jes-ee-ah to strike down that man with his coup stick
  but he was afraid to so his former self guided his hand and he spoke words
  through his mouth. When that troublemaker was taken away, Good-eyes returned
  to his place within Jes-ee-ah. That is why I believe this Inspired One will
  guide my companion should there not be enough time for grandfather to train
  him in our People's ways."

     Hawk-in-sky nods in understanding. He gives Running Water a Look that I'm
  unable to Glean. The old man faces me with a grin.

     "You are prone to speaking more words than are necessary, Short Hair."

     "That's a white skinned for you." I'd said that in English. Their word for
  my people sounds more vile when uttering 'white skin' in Siksika. They laugh
  and I'm joining them.


     The women folk have joined us in the front room. Winna is in her comfort
  chair while I've given my place to Warm-blanket-for-man on the couch. I've
  brought in a chair from the dining room since sitting over the coffee table
  wouldn't have been respectful. More family gossip is passed around. I remain
  silent, feeling left out from their discussion because I'm unfamiliar with
  the names of people they're talking about. That's alright. I feel drained
  after our talk with Hawk-in-sky. My thoughts keep turning to Jesse. When
  he'll be Calling me to bring him home. It's nearly ten o'clock. He must be
  dead tired after enduring that rainstorm this morning and leading the protest
  for twelve hours.

     I glance at Warm-blanket-for-man from time to time. She avoids my eyes.
  I'm releasing a tense sigh. Hopefully, Hawk-in-sky will have a good talk with
  her though I'm sure that won't convince her that I'm not acting like a
  'greedy white skin' where her son is concerned.

     :Love!:

     My heart skips a beat. :Are you ready to come home?: I Ask.

     :Yes. The People are dispersing. By the time you drive here, I should be
  the last to remain as is proper in my role as war leader.:

     I'm already flying out of my chair. Everyone notices but there's no need
  to explain to them where I'm going. I pull on my shoes and jacket. The keys
  to my truck are taken from the peg and I'm out the door in a dash towards
  the street.


     Traffic flows well past the Havre Police station. I was expecting a big
  jam up with over five hundred people getting into their trucks to drive home
  but there's no sign of them. At the corner, I spot Jesse standing with
  Simon. I'm eagerly pulling over to the curb. They wearily get in. The boy
  slams the door shut behind him.

     Love surges in my heart for Jesse! We face each other and all the aching
  from being separated these long hours comes to a peak. I'm pulling him into
  my arms for a tight hug. :My love! I've missed you so much!:

     :I know, love. Please take me home.:

     I'm Feeling how tired Jesse is. We separate so that I can put my truck in
  gear but he rests his head against my chest. Simon is looking at us but I
  can't see the expression on his face in the dark. He's jealous. That's what
  I'm Gleaning from the boy.

     Our ride back home was mostly a blur to me. Jes has Pulled strength from
  me to prevent himself from passing out. I almost couldn't drive. I'm parking
  along the curb in front of a neighbor's house since Running Water's red truck
  is parked in front. We get out.

     In the front hall, Hawk-in-sky, Warm-blanket-for-man, Running Water and
  especially Winna are anxiously waiting to see Jesse. For a moment, I thought
  mother and son were gonna hug but she shows respect for the tribe's war
  leader. My lover looks fierce in his frilled war robe and leggings. His face
  still bears paint though it's been smudged by the rain. He sets aside his
  feathered coup stick and removes his shoes. The boy and I take ours off.

     "How was your protest?" asks Hawk-in-sky.

     "It went well, uncle."

     In the light, I'm noticing how haggard my lover looks. His long hair
  clings wetly down his back. Great fatigue is seen in his face. I grasp his
  left arm to steady him when it seems like he's about to pass out. Simon
  speaks up.

     "We're really tired. It's been a long day."

     "I'll bring food to the table for you both."

     "Please. No, mother. I can't eat..." says Jesse.

     "Maybe after you've had a bath you'll be hungry," I suggest.

     "Maybe." Jesse tries removing his war robe.

     I'm helping him with that. It feels soggy in my hand so I hang it over the
  coat rack to dry. The shirt he's wearing is also damp. My lover shivers from
  the cold. Running Water and his father press themselves against the wall when
  I half carry my lover towards the bathroom.

     Jesse is set over the side of the bathtub while I undress him. His shirt
  comes off followed by his leggings. Beneath, he's wearing underwear which I
  pull off. I'm startled by the thong wrapped around his dick. "What's this?"

     :I'll explain it later, love. Remove it from me and tie it around your
  right wrist.:

     I do so while delving into Christopher's memories for its significants.
  My former self doesn't have a clue. I'm lifting Jes into the bathtub and
  start the water for him.

     "Make it hot," begs Jesse. "I'm feeling so cold!"

     I turn the spigot until my lover is satisfied by the water's temperature.
  My shirt comes off since I don't want to get it wet when giving him a bath.
  I've considered joining him but we have guests over. They'd see my wet hair.
  Silly, that. They know we're a couple so what does it matter?

     There's a knock on the door. "Come in..." That must be Winna bringing her
  son clothes to wear. She's seen him naked before. To my surprise, it's Simon.
  He looks nearly as tired as Jesse. Damp hair. His shirt and pants cling to
  his body so I suspect that they're soaking wet.

     "I've brought clothes."

     "Good. Now get out of yours and in the tub with you!"

     "I planned to." The boy reveals that there are two sets of clothes rolled
  beneath his arm. His eyes widen in surprise. "Now? With Jesse?"

     "Yes. That way, I can keep my eye on both of you in case someone faints."

     "I'm not gonna," says Simon. "Oh. Jesse is really tired."

     "That's what worries me. You can get in behind him and soap up his back."
  The boy rushes out of his clothes. I'm looking over his slim brown form. Ahh.
  So cute! His body is very similar to my lover's though smaller in certain
  places. A nice little butt. His dick hangs sleepily over his small clutch of
  balls with a sprout of groin hair above. I watch him slip into the tub. It's
  filling with water that comes as a shock to Simon when he sits his butt down
  behind Jesse.

     "It's really hot!"

     I ignore the boy's complaint by gesturing for him to splash water over
  Jesse. He does so and wets his own body as well. I'm fetching the soap and
  after hesitating (the thong I've tied around my right wrist will get wet), I
  bring it against my lovers chest to bring up a lather. This is taken up to
  his face to clean the paint from it. His neck, shoulders, underarms, arms and
  his lower body are cleaned. I touch his dick. No temptation comes in me to
  give it a playful tug since my task here is to bathe him. Love making will
  come later if he's up to it though I doubting that. His eyes are closed. I
  suspect that my lover is falling asleep.

     The soap is handed over to Simon. He takes it from me with his eyes upon
  the thong tied around my wrist.

     "Why are you wearing that?"

     "I don't know." The boy gives me a queer look and then soaps up Jesse's
  back. His hand goes lower but stops above his butt. "Clean him down there,
  Simon. It's not like you haven't touched that part of him before."

     I hear the boy panting with excitement. He takes his time with soaping
  Jesse's ass so I suspect that his hand has slipped between his cheeks for a
  thorough cleaning in there. He attends to his own body. I'm trying to peek
  down at his dick (is it hard?) but the soapy water hides it from sight. I'm
  splashing water over the front of my lover's body. Simon rinses him from
  behind and then himself. I get the shampoo bottle.

     Simon cleans Jesse's hair before attending to his own. I've released the
  drain. When the tub empties of dirty water, I turn the spigots. I'm rinsing
  my lover's body and his hair with splashes coming from my hands. Simon's too.
  I catch sight of his erection. The boy notices my peeking and his face begins
  to burn.

     "Don't be ashamed by your strong display. I'd be hard too." My eyes give
  Jesse's nakedness a once over. His brown body is slim. Longer arms and legs
  than Simon's and his dick is bigger. My lover's ass is about the same size as
  the boy's though it's been well 'broken in' even before I've done it. If Jes
  weren't so tired, he'd be leaning forward in the tub to let the boy stick in
  him for a ride.

     "I haven't beat off since we met last Saturday," Simon admits.

     Oh-oh. That'll make the boy vulnerable to our sexual advances. Maybe even
  allowing his butt to get fucked. I'm gonna have a long talk about that with
  Jesse in the morning. We shouldn't be having sex with him. Not after what I
  heard happened to Running Water in his youth by those horny bastards at
  Brad's party. That hardened his heart to love. He sought out its shadowy form
  in the bush so I'm not wanting Simon to end up like him.

     Jesse slumps back against Simon who catches him in his arms. My lover's
  eyes are closed and I hear him snoring softly. I'm turning the water off.
  "Hold him while I fetch towels for you both." The boy pulls his companion
  fully on top of him until they're nearly lying on their backs in the tub.
  Running Water had done this same thing to me earlier when he fucked me.
  "Don't be raping Jes while my back is turned," I tease the boy.

     "I'm not!" Simon shouts in dismay. "Not unless he wants me to."

     I was laughing and the boy realized that I was kidding with him. He
  giggles in his high-pitched voice. A playful humping comes from his butt and
  he feigns making moans. "I'm hearing something!" Simon giggles louder when
  I return with their towels and accusingly point down at him 'doing' my lover.

     The amused grin from Simon's lips is replaced by longing. He continues to
  hump against Jesse as if in play but I suspect that it's no longer that.
  He pants for breath.

     :Let the boy relieve himself,: Asks Jesse. :He's served me well today so
  we owe him this deed.:

     :He isn't fucking you?:

     :No. Only rubbing his thing against my cheeks.:

     :Well, okay. He hasn't gotten off since last Saturday.:

     Simon pulls over Jesse's upper chest and drives his trapped body against
  his companion. When our eyes meet, the boy stops what he's doing in fright.
  "Go ahead. Jes knows how much you're aching down there."

     "Really?"

     I'm gently nodding. Simon's little butt flexes more wildly against the
  bottom of the tub while he makes forward stabs. Quick ones. He holds breaths
  and I Sense surprise from Jesse. :What is it, my love?:

     :He's sticking between my cheeks. It feels good!: Jesse yawns but his
  face becomes very tense and fills with passion.

     When I'm about to warn Simon not to fuck my lover, he's crying out. A loud
  high-pitched wail followed by several low ones. His eyes narrow in ecstasy.
  The boy tenderly kisses Jesse's neck. Then he remembers himself and casts
  his shame filled eyes up at me. "Don't feel bad to reveal your love for him."
  It surprises me that I'd said that. My words were true but I fear that Simon
  is falling deeper for Jes.

     :You worry too much, love. He is a sweet boy. Can you say that he's done a
  bad thing?:

     :No... I can't.: I'm troubled though. My talk with Jesse about us not
  having sex with the boy is gonna be difficult, I suspect. "Clean him up." My
  voice was rather sharper than I intended and must have sounded like scolding
  in the youth's ears. He struggles to push my lover up.

     "I didn't fuck him," says Simon. With effort, he manages to lift Jesse up
  to a sitting position. He looks down at himself. His erection is sticking
  between Jesse's cheeks.

     The boy pulls himself out and reaches into my lover's butt to wipe out
  his cum. There's a lot of it. I step to the sink and fill a plastic glass
  with water. This is handed over to a very embarrassed looking youth. He pours
  it between Jesse's cheeks and splashes water inside several times.

     I hand the boy a towel. My lover's hair and upper body are dried. I'm
  using my towel to dry the front of him down to his legs. Then my hands slip
  under Jesse's arms. :Wake up, my love. I need your help getting you out of
  the tub. Then it's off to bed with you.:

     :I'm so sleepy...:

     :I know. Get to your feet, my love. I'm holding you so you won't slip.:
  Jes struggles to his feet and between Simon and I, we manage to get him out
  of the tub. My lover is set down on the floor after the boy spreads a towel
  there. He uses a corner of it to dry out Jesse's butt.

     There's an oozing from Simon's semi-erect dick. I point this out to the
  boy so he wraps part of a towel around the end of his foreskin, rubbing it
  back and forth a few times to dry himself of leaking cum. I'm pulling up
  Jesse's underwear. His pants are more difficult for me but I manage it. His
  shirt is put on him though I forgo fastening the buttons. Why didn't Simon
  bring a t-shirt?

     The boy gets into his clean clothes. His grandfather had thought ahead by
  having him bring them when we left his trailer this morning. We leave the
  bathroom with Jesse being half carried in my arms. I notice my lack of shirt.
  No matter. Winna meets us in the kitchen.

     "Come eat, Jes-ee-ah."

     "I can't, mom! I'm so tired."

     Jesse begins trembling in my arms from more than fatigue. I'm Sensing
  that he's not feeling well. When Winna nods in disappointment, I take Jes to
  our bedroom. It's not until he's dropped into bed when I notice that Simon
  has followed us. He'd closed the door behind him.

     "You're not sleeping here."

     "Oh. Where then?"

     "The front room. Winna will get you blankets and a pillow. I recommend
  that you have something to eat. She's a good cook and you'll score points
  with the woman by doing so."

     "Sure. Does she know that we've been together? You know... having sex."

     "She strongly suspects it, I'm afraid. Don't worry. I doubt Winna will ask
  you anything difficult but if she dares, just cover your mouth."

     "Huh?"

     "It's a gesture a man gives to let it be known he won't answer something.
  You're a young man now. Act like one. You're not answerable to a woman's
  foolish questions."

     "That's easy for you to say, Mike. I must look like a dumb little kid to
  her so I'll get scolded if I keep silent. She'll know for sure then!"

     I'm smiling to myself in the dark. "Better to get scolded if it comes to
  that than for you to admit that you've been having sex with us. Right? You'll
  be okay. Really. Her guests probably haven't left yet. They'll keep Winna on
  good behavior so you'll be safe from her questioning."

     "Who are those people in the hall I saw with Running Water?" Simon asks.
  "Are they his parents?"

     "Yes." I might as well tell the boy. "Hawk-in-sky knows that I'm being
  with his son."

     "He's okay with that?" the boy gasps.

     "Yeah. But his wife isn't too keen about that notion. She had some sharp
  words for me. Ah. I'll tell you more about it later. Now, go!" Simon remains
  standing behind me. I've gotten Jesse into his usual place in our bed. He's
  softly snoring. The blanket is brought up to cover him and I plant a kiss on
  his forehead.

     "Can you come with me?" Simon pleads.

     I release a weary sigh. "Alright. I've left my shirt in the bathroom so I
  might as well go get it."

     "Will you sit at the table while I eat? Maybe Running Water has already
  left with his parents so I don't want to be left alone with Winna!"

     I'm realizing how scared the boy is. It's wrong of me to throw him to the
  wolves so to say. I'd forgotten to introduce Simon so no wonder he's scared.
  They're strangers to him. "I'll be with you at the table. Come on, let's go
  meet everyone." A thought strikes me. I reach between our pillows for Brown
  Bear and set him into my lover's arms. 'Watch over Jes-ee-ah while I'm gone.'

     I lead Simon into the kitchen (Winna isn't here) so we go down the hall
  so I can fetch my shirt from the bathroom. It's put on while Simon stands in
  front of the toilet to pee. I'm feeling my own need and unzip my fly. Our
  yellow streams cross. We look at each other and the boy begins stroking over
  his dick after he's done. "Naughty!" I scold him. "In need again already?"

     "Just making sure it won't drip in my pants. You don't have a foreskin to
  know about that, Mike. I'm not hard am I?"

     "No. Sorry..." The boy gives me a shy glance so I'm not so sure what he
  was doing with himself.

     "We can if you want to," the boy mummers.

     "Do what?" Oh. Simon is tickling his balls and his left hand is reaching
  back to fondle his butt. I'm looking over his body with excitement building
  in me. My cock lifts up. "Later!" The boy gives me a sly grin when he takes
  my scolding as a promise that we'll be having sex. We both pull our pants up.

     We leave the bathroom and find everyone in the front room. With a stern
  glance, the boy steps out from behind me so I that can make introductions.
  "This is Sings-as-a-raven, grandson of Goes-late-in-the-night. Winnapah is
  Jes-ee-ah's mother." She nods in acknowledgement and I see her studying the
  boy with a pained look in her eyes. "You've already met Running Water. These
  are his parents, Hawk-in-sky and his wife, Warm-blanket-for-man."

     "I'm glad to meet you," the boy utters as expected of him. "You can call
  me Simon."

     "Are you hungry?" asks Winna.

     "Sure am! We'd only had sandwiches to eat this afternoon with a Coke. I've
  heard that you're a great cook, Winnapah. I need to fill my stomach with
  something good."

     What a charmer! The woman smiles in response to the boy's plea and we
  follow her into the dining room. Three candles are lit. A place at the table
  is pointed out for Simon to sit down. He does so. I take my chair after Winna
  sits. The boy is alarmed. He'd sat down before her and mutters his apology.

     "That's alright." Winna takes a moment to pray in silence.

     I'm folding my hands in my lap and make my plea unto the Lord that things
  will go well for Simon during his stay with us this weekend. The boy prays
  too. When we're done, he looks down at his bowl filled with bighorn sheep
  stew and sniffs it. A happy glee comes to his face. I'm relieved that he
  recognizes this dish as something he likes to eat. He tears off a piece of
  bread and chows down.

     "Are you hungry, Mike?"

     I've noticed that second bowl set in the place where Jesse sits. "Yes."
  I'm nudging Simon on my left side (who's so busy eating that he didn't hear
  us speaking or catch my eyes flaring at him) to bring the bowl over to me.
  I tear off a piece of bread from the loaf and dip it into my stew. Winna
  excuses herself from the table. The boy and I exchange mused glances. Then
  we're back to the business at hand.

     A glass of milk is set down beside my bowl. I'm looking up at Winna with
  gratitude showing in my eyes. "Thank you, mother." She smiles in reply.

     "What would you like to drink, Simon?"

     The boy notices that a glass of water is already set beside his bowl.
  "Water is alright with me. This stew tastes really good, Winnapah! Thank you."

     "Let me know if you want some more."

     "I will! Thank you very much."

     To my surprise, Winna leaves us alone to eat and goes into the front room.
  I turn to Simon with a big grin on my face. "I'm proud of you."

     "Grandfather has taught me my table manners. I'd forgotten myself when
  sitting down before she did. Sorry about that."

     "Winna didn't mind. I'm not talking about that though. You did good at
  Jesse's side today by watching over him. I'd seen you on T.V. When my lover
  stumbled during his interview, you spoke right up. I'm very proud of what you
  said to that reporter."

     "She made me angry. Am I the official umbrella holder at this protest?
  Boy! What a stupid thing for her to ask me."

     I'm smiling for a moment before becoming serious. "Thank you for saying
  those nice things about me."

     "They were all true! I wanted the People to know that you're a great guy
  and that they should come to join in our protest as all."

     "That they did. I think what you said on T.V. helped bring them out."

     "Who could resist a plea from an innocent kid, huh?" Simon giggles.

     I'm laughing too. "Maybe not so innocent." The boy gets my drift and his
  face begins to burn. I reach for his shoulder and fondly grasp it.

     "Yeah. I'm not anymore thanks to you and Jesse and Running Water. I don't
  regret what you've done with me last Saturday."

     "Are you?" I ask in a soft voice. Simon sets his spoon down in his bowl
  and turns to me with a worried expression on his face.

     "I'm sure." Alarm comes into the boy's eyes. "You're having second
  thoughts about having sex with me again. Aren't you?"

     I breath in sharply. After looking past Simon towards the front room to
  be sure that we're alone, I voice my concern to him in a low whisper. "Yes.
  We were taking advantage of you though you don't see it that way right now.
  I've promised your grandfather that you wouldn't be hurt."

     "You didn't. I'm not being 'taken advantage of' as you say because I can
  handle the sex. If this is about you thinking I'm falling in love with Jesse
  then just say so! Okay?"

     "It's not about that at all!" Simon obviously doesn't belief me. He turns
  to his bowl and spoons some stew into his mouth but he's thinking over what
  I've said. I return to eating, taking sips of milk between bites and peering
  at the boy from time to time. He soon finishes. "Do you want some more?"

     "No. Thank you."

     I'm done with mine so we get up from the table to carry our dishes to the
  kitchen. I run the water in the sink. Simon remains at my side in silence.
  After cleaning our bowls, glasses and the silverware and set them in the dish
  rack, I turn to the troubled youth. He has to understand why we're not gonna
  have sex with him anymore. It's not because I'm jealous of him loving Jesse.
  I don't want the boy hurt like Running Water had been at his age. "Simon..."
  He peers up at me with those gorgeous brown eyes of his. My resolve melts.

     "I know what you're going to tell me. My grandfather has appointed you as
  my monedo. I'll respect your judgment, Short Hair. No more getting it on..."
  The boy drops his eyes to his feet.

     I'm releasing a deep sigh. To see Simon's disappointment aches my heart.
  "Give me a hug." The boy rushes into my arms and holds me tight. I'm rubbing
  over his back and my right hand falls to his bottom to give it a fond pat.

     The boy moans softly. "I like you touching me there, Mike."

     I do too. From his reaction, I suspect that Simon shares my lover's desire
  to get fucked though he's unaware by how much that can hurt at first.

     "I'd want you both to... You know." Simon humps himself back there.

     "You should save that part of yourself for a lover." I'm realizing that he
  would give himself to Jesse because of just that. My right hand squeezes the
  boy's cheek. Man! His butt feels nice and I'd be sorely tempted to take my
  turn fucking him after my lover broke him in.

     "Are you two done eating..." Winna gasps.

     We separate in a rush to face the woman.

     "I need to go to the bathroom," Simon mutters. "Please excuse me!"

     The boy dashes for the hall to leave me facing this woman alone. I see the
  shock on her face. "Winna. It's not what you think." Well. Maybe it was.

     "He's too young!"

     "Don't you think I know that?" Winna doesn't believe me so I'll tell her.
  "Simon has a crush on your son. I was trying to explain things to him."

     "He has a crush on Jes-ee-ah? That's not possible! He's only a boy."

     "Not so young, obviously..."

     "How does Jes-ee-ah feel about him?"

     I'm wetting my lips. "Jes loves him as a younger brother who needs our
  guidance. Simon is gay. There's no denying that."

     "How do you know?" snaps Winna.

     Man! How should I answer that? An idea comes to me. "Simon's grandfather
  has asked me to act as the boy's monedo. He knows that Simon is in need of my
  guidance for being gay. He accepts this about his grandson and has placed his
  trust in me." Winna gives me a suspicious look so I keep my face guarded.

     "You've told me already," says Winna. Her voice takes on a sharp edge.
  "And you've admitted that your former self had sex with the boys of his
  tribe. Are you continuing to do that now, Mike?"

     I'm shaking my head back and forth in dismay. Grandfather was right.
  Whenever I try pouring my heart out to this woman, she gets upset with me
  because my words are too clumsily given. I don't convince her of anything.
  Grandfather had made me promise to consult with him first.

     "Winna? This is difficult to discuss with you. I didn't handle it all that
  well yesterday and grandfather scolded me for not considering your feelings
  before trying to speak from my heart. I've promised to consult with him.
  Let's put this matter aside for the moment. We're both really tired. I need
  to get back to Jesse, and Simon needs to get his bed set up in the front
  room. Please don't press him to tell you anything. He's already confused."

     Winna glares at me for a moment then her eyes give up their challenge. She
  releases a weary sigh.

     "Very well, Mike. I'll speak with my uncle but you must honor his advice
  as well even if that means not being with the boy... as you have been."

     I'm guarding my face. Not even a slight head nod is given the woman to
  confirm her suspicions. I turn from her seeking eyes and make my way back to
  the bedroom at a slow pace. To run from her would make it seem like... Well.
  I sure hope that grandfather will ease this woman's heart. Jes and I aren't
  gonna have sex with the boy anymore (I hope!) so she won't have anything to
  worry about. The bedroom door is closed behind and relief fills me. Man!
  This has been such a long day.

     I get out of my clothes (underwear kept on for warmth) and slip into bed
  beside Jesse. He's shivering like a leaf. :What's wrong, my love!:

     :I'm so cold! Please hold me, love.:

     Jes doesn't have to Ask me twice or even that one time. My hands were
  already around my lover when I'd Spoken to him. His body feels warm. I rub
  over his bared chest since the buttons to his shirt hadn't been fastened
  since putting it on in the bathroom. :Are you sick?:

     :I don't know. It has been a very long day so I'm thinking it's just
  fatigue. You took your time getting into bed with me.:

     :Simon had to be fed,: I defend. :He didn't want to face Winna and all
  them other strangers without me being there. Sorry.:

     Jesse sighs. :No. I am sorry, love. You were right to stay with the boy.
  My mother can ask some difficult questions.:

     :She did.: I'm Sensing Jesse's alarm so my mind opens to reveal what's
  happened in the last half hour. He's glad that Simon didn't get questioned
  by his mom. We hope that she'll bunk the boy down in the front room and keep
  her peace. Grandfather will hopefully explain things to her. I'm not bringing
  up that we shouldn't be having sex with him anymore. That can wait to morning.
  :Are you still cold?: I Ask to divert my lover's attention. I'm palming over
  his nipples that's a very sensual part of his body. He isn't moaning though.

     :Can you help me remove my shirt and pants?: Asks Jesse. :I'm still cold.
  I've heard that in wilderness survival, people get naked to share bodily
  warmth in snow blizzards and such.:

     I'm already helping Jes with his shirt. My fingers fumble with the button
  to his pants and then he's unzipped. I pull them down. But not his underwear.
  He returns to laying on his right side near the edge of our bed. My arms rush
  around to share warmth as he's asked. His back feels a bit warm against my
  chest. I startle some when his cold feet press back against my lower legs.

     Jesse sighs. :You feel so good to me, love.:

     :You do too. I've missed you!: Jes turns to me under the blanket that I've
  pulled over our heads a moment before. We bump noses until managing to kiss.
  :Was it really bad out there?: Another kiss.

     :The rain had made for a miserable morning. Thank you for sending Simon to
  me with a dry shirt! He held his umbrella like a shield when reporters got
  too close to me.:

     :I know. I'd seen the two of you on T.V.:

     :Mike. I really looked stupid in front of that lady reporter when she'd
  asked me why we were protesting. Sorry.:

     :Don't be! Everyone saw how exhausted you were and even Ms. Bray noticed.
  Simon spoke up on your behalf to her. I've told him how proud I was of him.:

     :He's a good kid,: Answers Jesse.

     I'm tempted to bring up the subject of not having sex with that boy
  anymore but decide against it. Jes needs his sleep. Our kissing has given me
  a hard on but I'm not feeling my lover's excitement against me.

     :We'll be up to that in the morning, love.:

     I couldn't hide my disappointment from Jes. :What's this thong all about?:
  I'm rubbing my tied wrist over his back.

     :Oh, that! It was part of my initiation to be made war leader.:

     :And...: I'm Sensing my lover's excitement though he's a bit embarrassed.

     :I don't know how much I should reveal about that rite because it's a very
  personal thing.:

     :Then don't. I know that your grandfather will be teaching you things
  during your training as shaman that you can't share with me.: Jesse has been
  guarding his thoughts, proving that I'm right.

     :I can tell you this, love. When a man is made war leader of the tribe,
  his thing is bound in thong to remind him of his commitment to all of the
  People. Not just to be successful for those whom he loves. He's also denied
  to partake of certain... carnal pleasures an enemy may suffer at the hands
  of... Well. He can't join his warriors in shaming rituals on the battlefield.
  Know what I mean?:

     :I do, my love. It's a thing that happened even amongst my own people back
  in them days. Soldiers took turns raping a squaw or even girls of age once
  all their men folk had been killed. I really regret that that happened to
  your People. To anyone.: I've heard that this still goes on today with the
  wars raging in Africa, Bosnia and even in Iraq.

     :Mike. I'm referring to what a fallen brave or an enemy warrior suffered
  at the hands of a war party to... shame him.: Jesse becomes embarrassed.

     :I know.: We've Looked into one of Owopspec's memories when he was a boy.
  A Cree warrior violated his body out of lust yet his experience with the man
  awakened in him a longing for those of his sex. Even that enemy warrior
  realized that his cock could do more than be a stabbing weapon in someone's
  butt. They grew to love each other even though both were male. Brown Reed
  gave of himself to pleasure that man and he in turn was pleasured by him to
  express what was in their hearts for each other.

     :That thong bound around my thing was my pledge unto our Father to walk in
  the Light in righteous cause. My task as war leader has been successful. The
  People were rallied to protest your treatment by those policemen. Now, I'm
  given a blessing by our Father to... Well. If you were my wife who wore my
  thong tied around your wrist, our mating would ensure bringing us a child.:

     I'm Sensing Jesse's great sadness. He feels inadequate as a man for not
  fulfilling that last act as war leader in the eyes of our Father. I am too.
  The tiny hairs lift at the back of my neck when I realize that he can still
  gift that blessing unto me. :Jes! I don't know how I know...:

     :I'm Sensing this truth too, love!:

     We focus our thoughts inwards at that spirit within that grandfather had
  Passed to us from the Power Bundle. There's no confirming words for our ears
  or an image before our mind's eye to know that this is so but we Feel this
  truth in our hearts! My manhood will be restored to me by Jes-ee-ah.

     :I will gladly perform this rite for you, love.:

     I'm kissing Jesse passionately and he responds with his hands rubbing
  over my back, his trembling breaths blowing against my face and the great
  need in him to love me. When I think he's ready for mating, my hands pull
  down both our pairs of underwear. Our heated bodies come back together.

     :Mike. I... can't.:

     I'm Feeling such anguish in my lover. My hard cock presses against his
  but he's not hard. Not even a little. After taking a deep breath, I speak to
  assure him that I'm not disappointed. "My love. You are very tired. We can
  fulfill this thing in the morning after you've rested. Alright?" Jesse gives
  me a really tight hug. He whispers words in my ear.

     "I will pass our Father's blessing to you, love! I promise."

     We catch our breath after our kisses end. Our hearts still burn, mocking
  our failure to be together as we wanted. No. I shouldn't think that way.
  We're both really tired right now. At some unspoken signal (Jes and I Share
  what we're feeling all the time of course), he knows to turn around so we
  can get to sleep. We both need our rest.

     My cock presses up against Jesse's butt. I'm given lustful thoughts but
  they're cast away like a gnawed bone. A kiss is given to his left shoulder.

     :Are you in need, love?:

     "Shh. Let's try to get to sleep." After our huddling bodies make a few
  adjustments in the bed so we'll both be comfortable, I close my eyes. Almost
  immediately, Jesse is heard snoring in my arms. It always amazes me how
  easily he can do that. I'm usually needing an hour before sleep comes for me
  even after beating off between my thighs to make me weary. I've learned
  another trick. I Peer into my lover and partake of his calmness of thought,
  relaxed body and that sense of falling to another place which is sleep. He
  welcomes my journey with him into sweet oblivion.


     "Mike! You have to come. Jesse is very sick!" shouts a voice.

     I'm being pulled from my blanket by a pair of small yet strong hands. What
  was Simon yelling? Sleep is driven from my head when I violently shake it
  back and forth. I gasp in fear, not finding Jesse where he should be laying
  in bed on my right side. "Where is he!"

     "In the front room. I don't know what's wrong with him! Come."

     I kick the blanket away and chase after Simon. He's only wearing underwear
  (I'm naked!) while we streak through the kitchen and dining room. My feet
  notice the cold floors until we enter the carpeted front room. Set between
  the couch and the coffee table that's been pushed to one side, I find Jesse
  laying over this boy's makeshift bed. A blanket covers most of him. :Jes!:
  I'm falling to his left side with concern. He doesn't Answer me!

     "He woke up this morning... moaning," says Simon between gasps of breath.
  "His body feels like it's burning up!"

     Little beads of sweat cover Jesse's face. I drop my palm over his
  forehead and with dread, feel how hot it is. "He has a fever." I'm Sending
  my thoughts into him but there's no Reply though a low moan escapes his lips.
  "Jesse?" I'm lowering my right ear to hear his weak mutterings.

     "Hot... I'm so hot!"

     He'd said that in Siksika. I turn my head to peer down into his face but
  he doesn't look up at me. Eyes are closed. Violent shivers rack his body
  that sends a chill into my heart. "Go to the bathroom!" I bark at Simon.
  "See if you can find Tylenol in the medicine cabinet or some aspirin. Bring a
  glass of water." The boy stares dumbfounded as if not hearing my words. "Go!"

     Simon darts off for the front hall. I turn to Jesse and see him kicking
  the blanket away. My eyes fall low over him. He's naked. Anguish squeezes my
  heart for what he may have done with the boy last night. A story from the Old
  Testament comes to mind. Isaac had been tricked by his son Jacob to receive
  his blessing instead of Esau. And like that elder son, I'm feeling cheated
  by not having received my lover's gift that would have restored my manhood.
  I look down at the thong tied around my wrist. Betrayal fills me for a brief
  shameful moment until it's cast aside by my concern for Jes. He's sick!

     I hear voices in the kitchen. Simon's high-pitched squeak answering a
  woman's. I'm quickly covering Jesse so his mother won't see his nakedness.
  A pillow is brought to my groin to cover myself with. She approaches like a
  thundering storm into the room.
                                       ***

  (1) You can read about Mike's "Bearpaw Fantasy" in a story that I've written
      under that title posted on the Nifty Archive.

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