By Mickey S.
Chapter Two
As TR and I were dressing for our first dinner on the ship, I took a good look
at his physique. Maybe I would grow more, as he said, but I was sure I'd never
have a build like his. It just didn't seem possible that I could change that
much. Besides, I thought as I looked down at my own body, I was quite sure he
hadn't looked like me a couple of years before.
Dressing for dinner wasn't as bad as I remembered it. The first night it only
meant a regular suit, but after that it was formal. When I was younger that had
meant wearing a suit with short pants and I'd hated it, but now I was expected
to dress like an adult. I was used to wearing a tie and blazer at school, so
the suit wouldn't be much of a change. And while the dinner jacket and bow tie
made me feel a bit stiff, I liked the feeling of elegance of a tuxedo. Even
though Mother and Dad were far less formal than the rest of the Coopers, I had
been well-trained to do what was expected of me socially and while I was sure I
wouldn't want to dress like that every night, it was fun for a change of pace.
There was something about the grandeur of the first class dining room that I
enjoyed, too. It was a beautiful room and the service and cuisine were great.
As we were served our soup I looked up at the huge map and saw that we'd passed
the end of Long Island and were off the coast of
I looked around the room at the other passengers. At a few tables novice
travelers were given away by their formal attire. My eyes settled on the blonde
that TR was interested in. She was sitting with a middle-aged couple I assumed
were her parents and a younger version of herself who had somewhat curlier
hair. She saw me looking in her direction and said something to her sister, who
turned toward me and smiled. I quickly looked away, realizing as I did how rude
that was.
By the time our entrees were served TR had located the object of his
infatuation and was busy making eyes at her, so I spent the rest
of the meal talking, or more accurately listening, to my parents. They'd
noticed a few couples they knew socially across the room and Dad also knew of
several newsmen who were on board as well, although they weren't traveling
first class. So it looked as though my family was going to be busy throughout
the trip and I'd be on my own, unless I was going to spend time with blondie's sister. If it were up to me, I'd choose alone.
TR had chosen the Garden Lounge for our lunch date. The Verandah Grill was more
elegant but he said he wanted to keep it casual for the first time - the only
time as far as I was concerned. The girls arrived just as we did. TR performed
the introductions. The older blonde, his date, was Joan Fuller. She was
seventeen, six months younger than TR Her sister was Paulette and had just
turned fifteen, so she was nearly a year younger than me. After we'd all
introduced ourselves and were seated I let TR take charge of the conversation.
I had no real interest in the girls and wasn't as sociable as TR anyway,
although I did make an effort to be polite.
The girls were from
"We were supposed to go shopping in
"There's a lot of history behind it," TR said. "The Great War left a lot of
resentment on both sides and the Depression hasn't made things any better. And
then there's that lunatic in
"Papa says it's not all his fault. He's just trying to get back what
"That's why his company is selling steel to both
"
"Well, half of
"That was a very different
"At last something we can agree on, TR. But let's not talk about politics,
boys. That's all you hear from adults anymore. After all, none of that really
has anything to do with us Americans, anyway."
I could see TR was practically biting his tongue over that last comment of
Joan's but he allowed her to change the subject to our educational backgrounds.
She was very impressed that he was starting at Yale in the fall. Joan and
Paulette both attended a private girl's school in
After lunch we went up on deck and talked a bit more. By then Paulette realized
I wasn't as enthralled with her as TR was with Joan and seemed to take it
personally. I was hoping that she'd just come to realize that I wasn't a
smaller version of my suave, charming brother and lose interest in me. After a
while she decided to go find her parents and I took advantage of the
opportunity to excuse myself as well.
I wandered back to the stern and stood at the rail watching the wake of the
ship, thinking about the whole lunch experience. While I wasn't all that
social, my parents had brought me up right and I usually functioned quite well
in those situations. I knew the right way to act and the proper things to say
so I could fit in and not embarrass myself or my family. But there was
something different about this kind of thing. Maybe it was the sexually-charged
atmosphere. Well, not exactly sexually-charged, although I liked that term. But
Joan and TR were clearly attracted to each another and even little Paulette had
been making eyes at me all through lunch. There was something going on with all
three of them that I wasn't a part of. It made me feel more alone than I could
ever remember.
I'd been looking forward to this trip with TR so much. He was going off to
college in the fall and I knew our lives would never be the same. Because of
the difference in our ages we hadn't spent a lot of time together at DeWitt,
but he was always there for me. Just knowing that had made it all bearable. But
now it looked like TR would be spending all of his time on the ship with Joan,
and maybe even once we got to
After an hour or so of thoroughly depressing myself, I headed back to the bow
of the ship. I was pleasantly surprised to see TR by himself, standing with his
back to me. He'd changed his clothes so he must have been down to our cabin.
That meant he hadn't spent all that much time with Joan. Maybe there was hope
after all.
For as long as I could remember, TR had given me piggy back rides, except that
he wasn't fond of being thought of as a pig, so he called them horseback rides.
Even now in our teens, I'd occasionally leap onto his back and have him carry
me around. It wasn't any harder for him now than when we were kids, since there
was still a big difference in our sizes. Anyhow, when I saw him standing there
by himself on deck I had the urge to jump him.
"TR! Horse!" I yelled, giving
him my usual warning.
Then I ran the half dozen or so steps up to him and leapt onto his back,
throwing my arms around his neck and lifting my knees on either side of him so
he could grab under them. A split second before impact, a sense of something
different, something wrong, flashed through my head. I hit him hard and he
obviously hadn't braced himself because he pitched forward. Our right sides
glanced off a wall as we went down. That gave him just enough time to get his
arms in front of him to keep his head from slamming into the deck, but not
enough time to catch himself. We landed with a crash, me on top of him, both of
us stunned. I recovered first.
"Hey, sorry about that, TR. Didn't you hear my warning?" He didn't respond or
move and for a second I was afraid I'd killed him, but then I felt him take a
deep breath. His head was turned away from me so I lifted myself up a bit and
moved over to see if his eyes were open.
As I glanced at his face, I gasped in horror. It wasn't TR! Whoever it was
groaned and his eyelids fluttered a bit, then opened,
allowing me to look into the deepest blue eyes I'd ever seen.
"Would it be too much if I asked that you please get off me?" He asked in a
warm British voice.
"Oh gosh, I'm so sorry. I thought you were my brother."
"And is there some reason you want to kill your brother?"
"No, it's just a game we play." I rolled off him and sat on the deck as he
turned over and faced me.
"A game? Aren't games supposed to be fun? Or maybe
that was fun, for you anyway."
Now that I could see his face it was clear that aside from size and coloring,
he looked nothing like TR. His eyes were a bit farther apart, his nose was
smaller and slightly turned up and his lips were fuller. He hadn't yet smiled
but I was sure if he did it would be beautiful. And he had a wonderful British
accent, a bit different from Mother's. I knew I was staring but I couldn't help
it. I also couldn't get a word to come out of my mouth.
"We're attracting a bit of a crowd sitting here on the deck. If we get up do
you think you can restrain yourself from jumping on me again?" He grinned as he
stood, proving me right about his smile, and held out a hand to help me up. I
took his hand and rose as well, not wanting to let go. For a second our eyes
locked, but he quickly looked away.
When he looked back a moment later he held out his hand again.
"Terrence Atkins. And you are...?"
"Woodrow Cooper. My friends call me Woody."
"Woody it is then. Now tell me about this little game of yours. It's over now,
I hope?"
"Yes, the game is over. Are you sure you're all right, Terrence?"
"I'm fine now that I've had a chance to catch my breath. I may be a bit bruised
tomorrow, though. You're tougher than you look."
"Not really, I just took you by surprise." I didn't usually find it easy to
talk to strangers, especially males as good-looking as Terrence, but he had a
way of putting me at ease as I explained about TR and the horseback rides he
gave me.
"You may not be quite grown up yet, but aren't you a bit old for that sort of
thing?"
"Maybe I am. After all, I'll be sixteen next week."
"That old? I wouldn't have guessed it. That makes you
just three months younger than me. And while it's none of my business, being
carried around on another's back at our age is a bit undignified, don't you
think?"
"I'm not what you'd call dignified no matter what I'm doing. And I love horsing
around, so to speak, with TR. He's a great big brother."
"He sounds like he is. If I had a brother I couldn't imagine acting like that
with him, though. You Yanks are less formal than we English, I suppose."
"I think it all depends on the individual. My mother is British and she's quite
down-to-earth."
"So you're only half-Yank, then. That's a bit better."
I knew he was teasing me but I couldn't let him get away with it.
"If you don't like us Yanks, what were you doing in our country?"
"I was kidnapped and taken hostage." He grinned again, dazzling me with his
perfect teeth. "Seriously, my Uncle Geoffrey is with the Foreign Office and had
some business with your government so he took me along. We spent a week in
"Only a few days? It takes a lot more time than that
to even scratch the surface of
"I learned that fairly quickly. Maybe someday I'll be able to go back and spend
some real time there."
"I could be your tour guide. I've lived in
"Don't be so sure. You don't know what my interests are."
"I'm sure I can show you around no matter what you're interested in. So your
uncle works for your government?"
"Yes, though I'm not sure exactly what he does. All very hush-hush, you know.
He was in the Army for years but retired not long ago. Now he does some sort of
freelance work for the Foreign Office."
"You mean he's a spy?"
"Nothing so exotic, I'm afraid. I think he's more of a courier than anything
else. He's just trying to keep busy and feel needed in his old age."
"Well, if he's not a spy maybe my Dad could interview him. He's a journalist
doing research on the political and military situation in
"I don't think Uncle Geoff is important enough for anyone to want to
interview."
"Maybe not, but I'm sure he knows lots of stuff Dad doesn't. We could introduce
them anyway and leave it up to them."
I wanted to get to know this boy and if his uncle and my father spent time
together that would be an excuse for us to spend time together. It didn't even
occur to me that I didn't need an excuse. People met and got to know one
another on ships every day. But deep down I knew there was something different
about the way I was interested in Terrence, so I felt like I needed an excuse
to talk to him.
"Maybe. Why don't we talk to them and see if they're
interested? Maybe we could all have dinner together one night. You are in
tourist class, aren't you?"
"No, actually we're in cabin class." I paused, feeling somewhat embarrassed.
He raised his eyebrows. "Newspapers must pay better in the States than they do
back home."
"I don't know about that, but since it's a family vacation and we're going to
be spending part of it with my grandparents, Dad decided to splurge on the
crossing." For some reason I felt it necessary to almost apologize for
traveling first class.
"I'm sorry, that was rude of me. It's really none of my business. But just
because we can't all have dinner together doesn't mean we can't get together
some other time."
"Of course. Why don't we meet back here tomorrow
morning at ten? I'll talk to Dad tonight and you can talk to your uncle."
"I'd like that. And even if the old ones don't want to meet,
we can still talk, can't we?"
"Absolutely. I think I'd like that, too." I blushed as I said that, afraid I'd
given something away even though I'd practically quoted his
own words.
It was a good thing I hadn't been able to arrange for Terrence and his uncle to
join us for dinner because TR had made plans with Joan and her family. The four
of them joined us that evening so we took one of the larger tables in the
dining room. While the girls' parents were not much older than mine, they
reminded me of my paternal grandparents. Their attitude was that dinner
conversation was reserved for adults so TR, the girls and I were pretty much
assigned the role of polite listeners. That was fine with me. I had very little
to say to them. Listening to Mr. Fuller, I could see where the girls got their
conservative ideas. Dad seemed to disagree with everything he said, but was
tactful about it. A few times Mother rolled her eyes at me when she didn't
think anyone else was watching. All in all, it wasn't much different from many
of the dinners I'd attended in my life. Still, I was glad when it was over.
Afterward, we all adjourned to the lounge where the generations separated. That
wasn't much better than at dinner, but at least it was more comfortable. There
was no talk of politics, although the girls seemed overly obsessed with fashion
and gossip. When talking about entertainment I could keep up with them on news
from
As TR and I were getting ready for bed, I asked him about his attraction to
Joan.
"You don't seem to have anything in common with her, so why are you spending so
much time with her?"
"I'll admit she's a bit shallow when it comes to world affairs and she parrots
her father too much, but that doesn't mean she can't be pleasant company for the
rest of the trip. You'll have to admit she's easy on the eyes."
"I suppose. But shouldn't there be more than that? Mother is very pretty but
there's a lot more to her that appeals to Dad than just that."
"I won't argue with you there, Woody, but I'm not looking to marry Joan, just
spend some time with her over the next couple of days. I'm sure you'll
understand that kind of feeling soon."
I thought about meeting Terrence that afternoon. All I knew about him was that
he was my age, British, charming, had deep blue eyes and a perfect smile. Yet I
sure wanted to spend more time with him. Maybe I was the one who was shallow.
Or maybe it was just as TR had said about Joan. It wasn't necessary to be in
love with someone to enjoy their company for a while. But it wasn't really like
that with Terrence. After all, he was a boy. And boys don't fall in love with
boys.
"But you're probably right about Joan." TR shook my mind from its wandering.
"As beautiful as she is, I think a four-day voyage may be the perfect length of
time to spend with her."
Over breakfast the next morning I told my parents about meeting Terrence
(omitting the part where I threw myself on him) and asked Dad if he'd be
interested in meeting his uncle. I don't think the idea appealed to him much
but he humored me and agreed to go up on deck with me to meet Terrence. Even if
Dad didn't want to do an interview, at the very least I was going to spend some
time with Terrence while avoiding the Fuller girls.
Terrence was waiting on deck with a tall balding man about sixty. I introduced
Dad and Terrence introduced his uncle, Colonel Geoffrey Howard. After we all
shook hands and said the usual pleasant greetings, Colonel Howard turned to
Dad.
"Are you the William Cooper who is with the New York Times?"
"Guilty as charged. You've heard of me?"
"I read your book on the flaws in the Treaty of Versailles about ten years ago
and then looked up some feature articles you'd written. You appear to research
a subject in depth before you write about it and then have quite a way with
words."
"Thank you. I generally only write about something if I feel passionately about
it. That makes the research easier."
"I'd be interested in hearing your opinion of what's happening in Europe now
that much of what you predicted in your book has come to pass."
"I merely pondered some possibilities in my book. I make no claims on being
able to foretell the future."
After a few minutes, the men excused themselves and went off to the lounge.
Terrence turned to me and grinned.
"I thought they'd never leave."
He and I wandered about for a while before finally settling down in a couple of
deck chairs, talking about our lives at home. He lived with his parents in a
place called Finchley, somewhat to the north of
central
"Your uncle is older than I thought he'd be."
"Well, he is Mum's older brother, though only by a few years. My parents had a
childless marriage for over fifteen years before I came along and surprised
them, so they're a bit older, too."
I told him a bit about my family, downplaying the money part although I was
sure he'd figured that out. Because we were the same age I assumed we were in
the same grade in school, but apparently they used different terms in
"It looks like teenage boys are the same the world over. The same thing goes on
at Bancroft's, the public school I attend. The big boys pick on the little
ones, and it's often class-related as well. I know if I were smaller or less
athletic, I'd be a lot lower in the pecking order."
"Well, DeWitt is a private school so everyone is pretty much the same class."
"Oh, Bancroft's is a private school as well, except we call them public
schools. I know, that probably confuses you but it makes perfect sense to us.
Anyway, Draper's, the company that is trustee for Bancroft's, tries to maintain
at least a trace of the original intent of the school, which was to educate
poor boys, so they admit a number of those each year. While my family wouldn't
be considered poor, we certainly couldn't afford a school like Bancroft's, so
Uncle Geoffrey used his influence to get me in. My parents and I are determined
that I be the first in the family to go to university, so this is a good
start."
"I'm sure I'll be going to college but I have no idea what I want to do. I'm
good at science so I'll probably go in that direction. Mother thinks I should
be a doctor but I don't feel like I have a burning desire for that." At that
age I believed that you had to feel a `calling' for important professions, and
I hadn't felt anything calling out to me.
"I enjoy history but that's not something you can be guaranteed to make a
living from. I'm leaning toward teaching for now but that's still a long way
off."
We talked the rest of the morning about our dreams of an adult life. I actually
hadn't ever thought of the specifics, although I liked to think of having an
apartment high up with a terrace overlooking
The Colonel, as he asked me to call him, was somewhat stiff and formal, I
assumed due to his military background, but he was nice enough. He'd enjoyed
his talk with Dad and hoped to spend more time with him later in the trip. It
was clear that he was very fond of Terrence. He'd devoted his life to the army
and had never married or had children, so Terrence was a bit like a surrogate
son to him.
After spending the afternoon wandering around the ship with Terrence, it was
back to dinner with the Fullers. Mother and Dad had done us kids a favor and
arranged a separate table for us. At least they thought it was a favor. On one
hand, I didn't have to sit in silence while listening to Mr. Fuller spout his
reactionary political beliefs, but I did have to listen to the somewhat inane
chatter of the girls. And defend myself from my perceived slight of Paulette by
skipping lunch with them.
"You didn't have to eat in a lower class dining room just to avoid me, you
know."
"Now Paulette, TR explained that Woody had made a friend yesterday afternoon and
was invited to lunch with his uncle." I wasn't comfortable having Joan defend
me but I accepted help from wherever it came.
"Yes, it didn't really have anything to do with you, Paulette. After all, here
I am having dinner with you."
"And as I said earlier, Woody hasn't quite reached the age where he's as
fascinated by girls as I am. And that goes for all girls, not just you." I
didn't think it necessary for TR to share that with them, but what could I do?
"Well, I'm sure if Princess Elizabeth invited you to lunch you wouldn't turn
her down. And she's two years younger than me."
"Again, that would have nothing to do with you. Paulette. A request by Princess
Elizabeth would be more like a command that I couldn't say no to. Not that it
would ever happen."
"But we're Americans. Royalty has nothing to do with us and she can't command
anything, only ask. So you could certainly say no."
"Maybe you could, Joan, but Woody and I are as much British subjects as
American citizens. More, actually, since not only is Mother British but we were
both born in
"Fortunately,
"I don't know about that. It looks like
"I think it's pretty clear that
Apparently Joan wasn't happy with the conversation being about anything not
directly related to her so she started talking about the ill effect of ocean
air on her hair. From then on I went on automatic pilot, staying out of the
conversation for the most part and answering with polite murmurs when
necessary.
Our last full day on ship I again spent mostly with Terrence.
He was so comfortable to be with; it was as if I'd known him for years. Part of
that was that he really did remind me of TR, and not just physically. He had
the same basic self-confidence. He was comfortable with himself so he didn't
have to assert himself and overpower others. He was just who he was. I liked
that and it made me feel comfortable being with him. I usually felt good about
myself when I was alone or with my family, but others often intimidated me.
Terrence didn't. And he seemed sensitive to what was going on in my head.
"Yesterday when we were talking about our schools I got the impression you
didn't like yours very much."
"It's not the school itself. The teachers are good and I do well in my courses.
But I don't seem to fit in very well with the other boys. I don't have many
friends and something keeps me apart from the others. I don't think I'm all
that different, but they do." I again mentioned the episode near the end of the
school year.
"I dread going back in the fall. The only thing that's made DeWitt's bearable
was having TR there, but now he's graduated so I'll be on my own."
"You'll do fine, Woody. Just remember what a great fellow you are and whenever
someone tries to insult you or degrade you, remind yourself that they're
talking from weakness. Someone who knows he's strong doesn't have to pick on
others to prove it."
"That's easy for you to say. You're an unbelievably strong guy."
"I have a feeling you have an inner strength deep down and maybe you're not
aware of it yet. But it's there. Someday you'll see."
Mr. Fuller had somehow managed to get his family invited to the Captain's table
for our last night's dinner so my family was spared their company. While no one
came right out and said so, I could tell it was a relief to us all, even TR.
He'd finally had his fill of the self-absorbed Joan. So it was just the four of
us, which was what this trip was supposed to be primarily about anyway.
Saturday, Terrence, TR and I stood at the rail on deck as the ship eased into
the port in
"So you're going directly to
"A couple of weeks. We're staying at least through my
birthday next week. I think Dad's coming down to
"And where are you staying in
"Sure, it's where Dad always stays. Claridge's Hotel in
Terrence laughed. "Well, I guess we can dispose of the notion that your first
class accommodations on the ship are your father's idea of a one-time
extravagance. Staying at Claridge's is barely a step
down from staying at
"I suppose it is expensive but it's very nice," TR said rather stiffly.
"Very nice. Just a bit of an
understatement."
"Okay, so our family has lots of money. It's no big deal." I was getting
nearly as defensive as TR. While we both took our financial standing for
granted, we didn't think of ourselves as snobs. I didn't want Terrence put off
by our money.
"I can see that you believe that, but some people do think money is important.
Most of the chaps I go to school with have `lots' as you say your family has,
but they place quite a bit of importance on it. Maybe it's your American
upbringing that makes you seem more egalitarian."
"I think it's more our parents than anything else. We have cousins in
"I know Uncle Geoff was impressed with your father. I hope I get a chance to
meet your mother when you get to
"I'm sure you will. I hope we can all spend a lot of time together this summer.
You can be our tour guide, if you don't mind. And we won't even make you use
the back entrance at the hotel."
"I'd love to show you around, Woody. You too, TR. And
maybe I won't make you use our back door when you come visit me in Finchley.