Date: Fri, 5 Oct 2007 00:30:21 +0200
From: dino alpacino <dinoalpacino@gmail.com>
Subject: In the still of the night 4 - Heavy thoughts, heavy heads

Dear readers, if you followed this far, I take it you like my work. I pride
myself on decent editing but must admit one hell of an error in chapter
4. Apparently I wrote 'uncut', referring to Thom. Being jewish, he of
course has no foreskin whatsoever! So to put an end to indignation
everywhere, it was a lapse of clarity for I am well aware of the bris. (I
live in a city with a large jewish diaspora) Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea
maxima culpa. That'll teach me to write at night. Cordially yours, Dino.


I felt warmth. A hand softly scratching right under the hairline in my
neck. I smelled a musky scent, reminding me of a dirty sweatshirt. I
inhaled and smiled. A chuckle rose from above me and my head moved with the
chest I lay on. Opening my eyes I was confronted with reality. There really
was another guy next to me. I closed my eyes again and gathered my
thoughts.

'Morning, sleepy.'

My eyes shot open and I craned my neck to look up. Thom looked down on me
with a smile on his lips. A small one. Only the left side was turned up and
showed his pearly whites. I considered that smile and decided it was a sexy
smile.

'Morning, sexy.' I said.

He shifted his body and slid down so we were face to face. I felt his warm,
toned body slide past mine and made a sound that was in between a purr and
a groan. His face slid into view and I slowly focused on his eyes.

His mouth came close to mine and I the warm humidity of his breath. I
lazily kissed him and sighed.

'Man, you're one lazy ass in the morning.' he chuckled.

'It's the drinking. Makes me sleepy.'

'Looks like you drank a lot then.'

I laughed and with a painful stab my head told me I really had. He moved in
for another kiss, his cheeck rubbed mine and I felt the stubble rasping my
skin. In shock I pulled back.

'What's wrong?' he asked with a hint of confusion in his voice.

I sat up and bewildered I looked down on naked bodies, covered with nothing
but a white sheet. The sunlight that reflected off it hurt my eyes. I
turned them on Thomas and his worried expression. His hair was all tousled,
stubble had taken over his face and his eyes squinted against the sunlight
that streamed over my shoulders.

'It's nothing. It's like I keep forgetting I slept with another man. And
then something abruptly reminds me of it.'

His eyes clouded over and he got out of bed. With a curious glance I
scanned his body. It was tight and very naked. On his neck, right above the
collarbone there was a red mark.

'Well, I distinctly remember asking you if you knew what you were getting
into. And don't give me any bullshit about having a drink too many.' He
said with a fierce voice and stepped into a fresh pair of briefs.

I was still in my waking haze and his words surprised me. It took me a
moment to form a response. 'Hey Thom, listen, I know that. I remember last
night. I liked last night.'

He put on a pair of pants and looked at me with dark brooding eyes.

'It's just new to me okay?'

That didn't seem to satisfy him though. He took an undershirt out of the
closet and pulled it over his frame. I loved the way it clung tightly to
his chest. His sparse chesthair peeping over the hem. Getting out of bed I
put my briefs on.

'What's the matter?' I asked, unsure of the reason for his change in
attitude.

'Last night you saw a side of me few people ever do. And the only reason
you did, was because I trusted you.'

'You...don't anymore?'

'Can I? I mean, one moment we're in bed together. The next you're freaking
out because you never realised that having sex with someone has it's
consequences.'

Oh my god, this guy was giving me the girl speech. What the hell?

'If you fuck with a guy, you're bound to wake up next to one.' He
continued.

'Are you done?' I asked, somewhat agitated. 'You misunderstood, Thom. All
this just needs to sink in. And I'm not all that perceptive in the
morning. But don't think I freaked out waking up next to you.' I walked up
to him and put my hands on his hips. 'It's just the morning stubble I need
to get used to.' I said with a sly smile.

His composure changed and I felt the tension leave his body. One hand found
it's way to the small of my back. 'Sorry, I'm just a bit emotional in the
morning.'

'No kidding.' I muttered.

He started tickling me in my sides and struggle though I may, I couldn't
escape his grasp. He threw me on the bed and jumped on top of me. 'Make fun
of me eh? I'll teach you.' He growled, intensifying his attack. If I ever
had a weak spot it would be my extremely low tolerance for tickles. It only
took him about three minutes to have me choking on laughter and begging for
him to stop. He finally relented and pulled me to my feet.

'Let's get you dressed.'

I picked up my tuxedo trousers but Thomas took them out of my hands and
threw them on his bed.

'You can't go out dressed in yesterdays clothes. What will people think?'
he said in a half serious tone.

'Well, what would they think if I strolled around campus in my briefs?'

'You can borrow some of mine.' And he handed me a pair of light gray dress
pants and a white shirt. 'Now where's that vest?' he muttered and dug
through his closet.

'What's with the suit?' I asked, putting on the fancy looking pants.

'Ugh, freshmen.' He grunted. 'It's customary to go out for lunch after a
Ball, and look presentable.'

'Very inconvenient custom. I guess I better shave then.'

He turned around with a matching vest in hand. 'Don't shave. Just comb your
hair.'

'Why?' I asked suspiciousy, trying on the vest. It hugged my chest and
consequently stretched open a bit. I looked in the mirror and was very
satisfied with the result, it narrowed my waist and made my shoulders look
wider. Every boy's dream, right?

'I think you look hot with that blonde stubble.' He said and opened my
shirt an extra button.

'Hey don't overdo it, I look like a hustler.'

'Exactly.' Thom laughed as he patted my ass, tightly encased in the dress
pants. Shoving me away from the mirror, he filled the basin and lathered up
his face.

I opened the window and sat on the sill, lighting a cigarette. Leaning
against the windowframe I watched him shaving. He had lathered himself a
white beard of foam and with slow deliberate strokes cleared his jaw. When
he swiped the blade on a towel an image I had long forgotten flashed before
my eyes. It must've been five years ago, or more. I saw myself coming out
of the shower, finding my brother at the sink, a towel wrapped around his
waist. For the past few months he had developed into a young man, as my
mother said. His pubescent facial hair had turned into full blown beard
growth and I had become fascinated by and very jealous of it. He swiped the
razor on a towel and I was overcome by a wave of awe. Ian exuded such
manliness and raw sexuality. I remembered boning up instantly and flushing
bright red when he noticed my condition in the mirror. At the time I hadn't
understood what that was all about. But sitting on the window sill, with
Thom reenacting this childhood memory, I was hit in the face by a clarity
of mind. Edward had not been mistaken when he teased me about my sudden
self-realisation trip. Or the big brother complex.

'Thom?'

'Yeah?'

'How old were you when you find out about...guys and stuff?'

'Dunno.' He mumbled while checking his face for missed spots. 'I guess I
always knew, on some level.'

'Yeah, me too, I think.'

'Why do you ask?'

'Curiosity. So uhm, when did you first...'

'You'll have to be more specific than that.' He said and wiped his face
with a wet cloth.

'You know, fool around with a guy.'

'Oh that, twelve I think.'

'Wow.'

'Nah, it was no big deal. We just jacked off together.' He turned around
and held up two shirts. I pointed at the cream colored one. 'Never did that
with your brother?'

'We had separate rooms.'

'Didn't stop me and the neighbour's kid.' He laughed.

I imagined Thom as a twelve year old, whacking it with the boy next
door. Hiding in the bushes, pants around their knees, flustered with
excitement about their little secret. I blinked and refocused on present
Thom, while he buttoned up.

'You were imagining me and Kevin, right?' he said with a smirk.

'Was that his name?'

'Yeah.'

'Then I was.' I said with a mischievous smile.

'But actually, I don't think things like that count.'

'What do you mean?'

'I guess a lot of guys do stuff with their friends while growing
up. Doesn't mean they like boys.'

'Guess not. Unless...they're all in denial.'

'Don't get your hopes up, Sherlock. I gave up on that illusion some while
ago.'

I gave him an inquisitive look but he turned to the mirror and combed his
hair and slicked it with a dab of Bryl. I took that as a not so subtle clue
to drop the matter.

'Let's get going, or do you want a jacket?'

'No, I'm fine. It looks warm out.' I answered brightly, but my mind still
wondered why he'd cut me off.

We took the regular stairwell this time. The halls were rather quiet, I
guessed most people had stayed out later than we did. As soon as we got
outside, the October sun warmed our faces and Thom seemed to have forgotten
all about the incident. Well, it wasn't really an incident. But this was
the first time he had cut me off when I asked him about something.

Walking off campus into Newbourn, it became more crowded. Everybody looked
like they were dressed for church. But I noticed a great amount of
sunglasses. The rest of us had red puffy eyes. And whenever someone would
laugh loudly the people around would shush and make some remark about their
head. In other words, the entire town of Newbourn was filled with hungover
college kids.

'Where do you want to go?' I asked.

'Is Maple Corner okay?'

'Dora's Diner? Great!' I exclaimed, which got me some shushing and head
pointing from passersby.

We crossed the street and quickly went for the last curbside table. We had
only just taken our seats when I noticed Edward walking up to our table,
including a very large pair of sunglasses. 'Goodmorning.' He rasped.

'Good grief,' I laughed, 'what the hell happened to you?'

'Head ache, sore throat. Humongous hangover.'

'You want to join us for lunch?'

'I'd be delighted.' He replied, trying to sound chipper but his masacred
throat didn't cooperate.

'You remember Thom.'

He just nodded and ignored Thom's outstretched hand.

'Now play nice boys.' Dora's shrill voice cut through the air and I saw
several people wince.

'You can fight over the cute one after lunch, well breakfast.' I was
shocked at her bluntness, but even more at her precise observation.

'I won't even bother to ask, I'll just get you three Hangover Specials.'
She said and strut off.

'What's a Hangover Special?' I wondered out loud.

'Every place in Newbourn serves it after a Season Ball. It's usually an
extra large coffee, tomato juice, eggs, bacon, pancakes, a bagel and a raw
egg with a shot of Rye.'

'What's the hooch-egg for?' Edward asked.

'It's the best hangover medicine, chased down with tomato juice it does
wonders.'

'Oh right, that way we can all be on time for church tomorrow morning.'
Edward said, but his wooden head prevented him from delivering it with the
usual panache.

'Poor Edward, not even capable of decent sarcasm.' I teased.

'Well, since you dropped me like a spermwhale with herpes I had to find
other people to party with.'

I grimaced at his language, which was a bit too much for an empty hungover
stomach.

'At least tell me it was worth it.' He asked me but looked at Thomas.

'I've got a bit of a sore throat myself.' He replied.

I didn't believe what I heard but Edward laughed loudly and then grabbed
his head.

'Oh god, never again.' He mumbled, took off his sunglasses and looked at
Thom with a taxing glance, and real puffy eyes. 'You're allright, Mister
Burke.'



Dora was back in a flash with our breakfast. Edward's tipping policy did
wonders. I suspiciously eyed the glass with the raw egg and reached for my
coffee.

'Take your medicine.' Thom said in his best Mom-tone.

And I did. It was just like practice, he spoke, I followed. I made a mental
note only to go about things that way if it concerned crew or things like
this. It didn't go unnoticed and Edward opened his mouth for what I am sure
was a witty remark but instead downed the gooey mess.

'Not as dreadful as it looks.' He said and savored it. I had my tomato
juice as fast as I could though.

The three of us wolfed down our breakfast and fifteen minutes later not a
crumb was left. And we were out of coffee, a need Dora deftly
fulfilled. While eating we hadn't said much, so I expected Edward to start
filling me in on everything I'd missed. Strangely, he didn't take any
initiative. Of which he was usually overflowing. We just sipped and smoked,
while I tried to get some conversation going. I soon gave it up
though. Which left me feeling kind of awkward.

'Dylan, I need to get going.' Thom announced.

'Oh, really?'

'Yeah, I've got a meeting with my Modern History professor in half an
hour.'

'On a Saturday?' Edward asked.

'Yeah, busy man.'

'Well, uhm okay. See you at practice?' I asked, a bit unsure.

'I was thinking we could go for a run tonight, before dinner.' He said, and
flashed me that smile. No chance in hell I could resist that.

'Sure, five o'clock?'

'Great, it's a...deal. See you later Ed.'

Thom put some money on the table and sped off. How I loved to see him go.

'He was going to say "date", wasn't he?' Edward said smugly over his cup of
coffee.

I didn't reply, but I guess my face said enough.

'Calling me Ed, some nerve.'

'Oh get off it, will you?' I was not going to let him ruin my mood. I was
already looking forward to our "deal" and felt all warm and fuzzy.

'It was nice then?'

'It was...is. I guess.'

'Let's go for a walk. Dora darling, check please!'



We strolled through the town of Newbourn. It was a busy Saturday
afternoon. Children playing, old couples walking around, you get the
picture.

'Have you given it any thought how you want this to go?'

'What do you mean?' I asked.

'Well, is this a fling or something else?'

'Edward, you have seen what I've been like for the last two weeks .'

'Sure, but now that it seems you have what you wanted, how to proceed?'

'I don't know. Play it by ear?'

'What about your teammates?'

'What about them?' I knew all too well where he was going.

'Won't they notice?'

'Honestly, not a clue. Guess we'll have to be careful though.'

'Not necessarily. But that would probably mean the end of your
sportsmanship. And his.'

'It would. But even without crew, I don't think I would like to advertise
myself like that.'

'Like I do?'

'Totally different situation, Edward.'

'I beg to differ.'

'Well, first of all, there's a difference between one man and two.'

'You don't have to hold hands for people to notice, you know? They will
still flag you as a fruit.'

'Hasn't been a problem for you. Or has it?'

'Not to any restrictive extent.'

'God, you can be so...'

'Confronting?'

'Yes.'

Edward took my arm and stopped me. 'Listen Dylan. I'm not saying to pull
back. Quite the opposite, this is our time to live. So do what you want to
do, but consider your actions wisely. Sooner or later, you will be judged
upon them. If not by him, then surely by them.' He said and waved his hand
at the people on the street.

This conversation was really too much for my good mood to handle. I stopped
at a bookstore and glumly looked at the display.

'Are you bothered by what I said?' he asked, looking at me in the
reflection of the window.

'I'm bothered because you're right.'

'I am, but does that stop me from enjoying myself? Not in the least, so
don't let it stop you.'

'Yeah, I know but...'

'But nothing, he's gorgeous. Forget what I said and just have fun.'