Date: Fri, 15 Jun 2007 08:10:15 +0200
From: A.K. <andrej@andrejkoymasky.com>
Subject: Malgre tout 07/13 (Historical)

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MALGRE TOUT
by Andrej Koymasky (C) 2007
written on October 18, 1993
translated by the author
English text kindly revised by John

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USUAL DISCLAIMER

"MALGRE TOUT" is a gay story, with some parts containing graphic scenes
of sex between males. So, if in your land, religion, family, opinion and
so on this is not good for you, it will be better not to read this
story. But if you really want, or because YOU don't care, or because you
think you really want to read it, please be my welcomed guest.

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CHAPTER 7 -- Towards Belgium

After a few day the two deserters, having finished chopping all the
wood, left the farm with a bundle of food and a blanket, and two old
scarves they got from the master's wife. They set out towards the Meuse
river and reached  the walls of Commercy. That town was also in the
hands of the Prussians.

Here, they heard that Verdun, more to the north, was still in French
hands, but was besieged by the Prussians.

In Commercy, Kurt still played the part of the idiot brother, not only
to avoid making the French realise he was a Prussian, but also not to be
discovered by the occupation authorities who would at once understand he
was a deserter. Also here, in exchange for some small jobs, they earned
food to take with them.

Leaving Commercy, they kept to the bank of the Meuse and followed the
stream going towards the north. They heard that Metz fortress had fallen
into Prussian's hands and that their army was rapidly spreading towards
Paris, poorly opposed by pockets of resistance of what remained of the
French army.

They walked for days. They seldom met other people and when they did,
each time Kurt assumed the pose of the brother Charles, dumb and idiot.
It had almost become a game for the two boys, and Kurt had become really
skilled, at times managing even to make some slobber drip from the
corner of his mouth...

When they were alone and sure not to be overheard, they went on in their
long, alternating soliloquy. Even though they didn't understand each
other, they needed to talk, to communicate. Anyway their common
vocabulary was gradually widening, although composed of essential words
used in an approximate way.

Jacques liked the odd French pronunciation of Kurt with his strong
German accent and was feeling increasingly attracted by his friend. He
became especially aroused when they decided to bathe in the waters of
the Meuse. Kurt had already lost his initial modesty and the two friends
were wallowing in the river water, totally naked, playing and merrily
splashing each other.

"Come, friend?" at one point Kurt said going towards the bank.

"No, I'll stay some more..." Jacques answered, conscious of his imperious
erection, as he was ashamed to be seen in that state by his friend.

Kurt got out and turned to look at Jacques. The vision of his friend's
body, wet and shining under the sun, of his member hanging soft and
beautiful between the sinewy thighs, just increased Jacques arousal.

"You stop in water?" Kurt shouted, throwing him a smile.

"Yes, a bit longer..."

"Water cold, sun warm!" Kurt said.

"Well, I'll come later." Jacques insisted.

Kurt sat on the bank, his arms around his knees, his chin leaning on
them, looking at his friend. Jacques was feeling cold, but in spite of
that, his erection didn't deign to lower.

"<Up to now, everything went smoothly. But how will our future be? If at
last this war ended...>" Kurt said looking at his friend, immersed in the
river up to his nipples.

"Fucking hell, if at least it drooped! I can't come out yet but I feel
freezing."

"<Could we ever have a serene life, you and I?>"

"Yours never gets hard when you look at me. You only think about girls..."

"<I never had a true friend like you.>"

"Why are you so beautiful, so desirable?"

"<I don't want to lose you now that I've found you. Happen what may.>"

"I'm freezing... but at least it seems it's drooping..."

"<I would like being French, so I could understand you...>"

"I would like being a woman, to be liked by you..."

"<You're feeling cold but you still don't come... Why?>" Kurt asked, amazed,
when he saw his friend shiver.

Jacques felt that his erection had finally ceased so at last he  left
the water, under Kurt's careful gaze. He went near him and, to avoid
problems, he laid down on his belly, fearing that the soft warmth of the
sun and proximity could awaken his erection again.

"No, Kurt, I wouldn't like being a woman, I like being a man too much.
But I would like it if you desired me all the same." Jacques said,
looking at him.

"<You're white with the cold. What were you doing, still there in the
water, looking at me?>"

"Who knows why if a man desires another man he cannot just tell him, or
at least make him understand?"

"<Do you want> the blanket, friend? Blanket warm?" Kurt asked in his
approximate French.

"No, thank you. I would like you to warm my body..."

"Sun warm?"

"Yes, sure."

Kurt lightly brushed his shoulders, then his waist, "Here warm, here
cold." He said.

Jacques shuddered with pleasure at that unconscious caress but said
nothing. Kurt took his hand away.

"<Your skin is darker than mine. We are odd brothers...>" Kurt said smiling.

"Do you want to eat something?" Jacques asked.

"Yes. To eat food. I food bring. You wait."

Kurt stood up, careless of his nudity and unaware of the effect it had
on his friend. He took some of the food from the bundle, the jack-knife
and cut two portions. He also took the flask they had got in place of
the military canteen and went back near his friend, passing him his
helping.

The two boys ate in silence. Jacques, always lying on his belly, could
see between his friends legs the beautiful soft member surrounded by the
thick golden hairs and felt the impulse to stretch out a hand to caress
it, but restrained himself.

Kurt asked, "I clothes to take?"

"Yes..." his friend answered.

Jacques managed to slip on his trousers without letting his friend see
his new incipient erection.

"Let's go. We can walk for some more hours..." Jacques said, after he was
fully dressed.

"<Who knows if we meet soldiers, and of which army?>" Kurt asked.

They set off, side by side, their bundles on their shoulders.

"<I would never have guessed I had to run away, to hide.>" Kurt said,
thoughtful.

"If we just could find a place where to be safe, where nobody cares
about who you and I are..."

"<War is ugly. There, in the city occupied by my army, I read hatred of
your people in their eyes. But me... they didn't look at me with hatred,
because they thought I was a common Frenchman. Therefore hate is weird,
because it is not for the person, but for... what?>"

"The weaver told me that if we follow this river north, we will get to
Belgium. There we can live safely and possibly also find a job. There,
the weaver said, they speak French, therefore it would be good for me.
And you are gradually learning it."

"<Man should never be a stranger amongst the other men. Aren't we all
sons of God? You see, you and I, how we fit well together, event though
we were said to be enemies?>"

"Sure, I shall learn to stay near you just like a friend, but I think I
can manage..."

"<I miss my family a little. But my father at this point would never
accept me at home. Who knows if they already told him I deserted? He
could never understand. And possibly neither would my brother Otto.>"

"If we could just find a boat to go downstream... we will get a lot less
tired and we could reach Belgium faster."

"<My mother would. She would be happy to see me again. And also my
sisters. Women just care about having near them those who they love. Are
they possibly weaker than men? Or more selfish? Or they possibly are
able to love better, without setting conditions? And yet I, if I loved,
I would not set conditions... even though I am a man.>"

"Once there, I think we could find a job and have a quiet life. But
then... you possibly will find a girl and marry with her. And leave me.
But we can be friends all the same, can't we?"

"<They say that a man shouldn't cry. But when I fled away from the
battlefield, I cried. And it did me good to cry. How much rubbish they
say, about being a man!>"

"I lost everything, but I found you. You are now my family. Who knows if
you too feel so? Possibly yes, as you called me friend and brother."

"<A woman has to be beautiful and sweet, a man has to be strong and rude.
Why a man cannot be beautiful and sweet, or strong and gentle... That's
all bullshit. You, for instance, are strong and gentle, and I like you
this way so much.>"

They went on so, walking and talking in turns, as if they were having a
proper conversation. They were looking at each other, from time to time,
almost as if they were able to understand each other. It was, in an odd
and mysterious way, a real dialog and both boys perceived it as such.

At night they were in sight of Verdun. From afar they saw the encampment
fires of the Prussians who were besieging the town. They stopped and, on
instinct, took each other's hand. Jacques crouched down, took a twig and
made a diagram, while talking to his friend.

"This is the river..."

"River, water!" Kurt said.

"Yes. And this is Verdun."

"Verdun? Houses."

"Right. Here in Verdun there are the French. All around, though, there
are the Prussians."

"Prussian soldiers, yes, those..." Kurt answered pointing towards the
distant bonfires.

"So. And you and I are here..."

"Kurt and Jacques here..."

"We have to make a detour, so, all around, to get to the river up there.
And in that direction there is Belgium."

"Kurt and Jacques <have to stay clear of the Prussian's camps making a
detour and then they can go on along the> river." The boy said, showing
with his finger their way on his friend's drawing.

"I think we understand each other. Now we had better go up towards the
hills, in the woods." Jacques said standing up and pointing towards the
mountain.

Kurt made a wide gesture with his hand, "You and I go, far fusils
boom-boom we go, and down river go, no?"

"Good, right. Let's go, then."

They went up, walking parallel to the Prussians' bonfires, far enough
off not to be seen. They went into the Argonne forest. The light woody
undulations of the ground ran parallel to the Meuse. They cautiously
crossed a wide dirt road going to Verdun, and again went into the thick
forest.

"It could be better if we stop here to sleep, now. The moon is low, it's
setting and in a while we'll be no longer be able to see where we put
our feet. We will resume walking tomorrow morning." Jacques said keeping
Kurt's arm and pointing first at the moon, then at the ground.

"Blanket? You and I sleep?" Kurt asked.

"Yes. Alright?"

"Alright." Kurt said.

He spread the woolen blanket and they laid on it. They chatted for a
while, in their usual way, but they soon fell asleep. Jacques woke up in
the dead of the night. Kurt had curled up against him. He could feel his
agreeable warmth. Jacques at once became aroused and felt a strong
impulse to embrace and to kiss that warm and sweet body, pressed against
his body. He had difficulty not to let himself go. He emitted a
tremulous, restrained sigh.

"Good Lord, how much do I desire you, Kurt!" he thought, troubled, while
he was trying to sleep again.

The following morning they were woken up by a distant thunder of guns.

"They're killing each other..." Jacques murmured.

"<Those are field guns.>" Kurt said.

"We would have been there, now, trying to kill each other, do you think
at that?"

"<Hear, from so far, they could almost seem thunderstorms... It is the man
playing to be a god! And he destroys everything.>"

"Let's go; let's continue on our way." Jacques said, standing up and
stretching.

Kurt stood up, folded the blanket and put it in the bundle. They set
off.

They walked for hours and hours, stopping only to eat, in silence,
listening to the remote thunder of the guns. Also the forest was silent,
almost frightened by that noise of death. When they judged they had
walked long enough, they again went down towards the plain. But they saw
they still were at the height of the Prussian encampment, beyond the
town. They therefore went up again in the thick of the forest and
continued walking north. Around the sunset, they again went down to the
plain and saw that now the Prussians' camp was far away.

They crossed pastures and fields going towards the river again. They
reached it when the sun had already set behind the Lorraine mountains.
With the coming of the darkness, the distant noise of guns ceased.
Walking along the river bank, under the light of the still high moon, at
one point they saw a small boat tied to a post in a small natural cove.
There weren't any oars.

But Jacques cut two long branches with his jack-knife and gave one to
Kurt. They boarded the boat and Kurt untied the rope. They pushed the
boat at large, at first pushing with their branches against the bank,
then on the shallow cove floor, until the stream seized the boat and
dragged it downstream.

At first they weren't able to steer the vessel, but little by little
they understood how to use the long leafy branches as a helm and the
boat stabilized enough, even if at times it escaped their control and
started to turn slowly.

"<I never was a sailor...>" Kurt wailed.

"You see how fast we are moving now, without getting tired?"

"<I'm almost getting a stomach ache...>" Kurt complained.

"You'll see that everything will go nicely. We usually had to stop
walking at night time, and so, for a change, we are traveling a lot."

"<I think I will have to lie down for a while... who knows that my stomach
ache ceases...>"

"Are you feeling tired? Try to sleep, then. I'll try to steer the boat
alone." Jacques said, taking the branch from his friend's hands, and
Kurt laid down on the bottom of the small vessel.

The moon was setting. Jacques was feeling somewhat tired, his eyes were
heavy and were closing in spite of his struggling to stay awake. He felt
the temptation to lie down he too, near his friend, but he knew he could
not leave the boat to itself. He plunged his hands in the water, one at
a time, and passed them over his sleepy face.

The soft and constant sound of the river water, seemed to quite
hypnotize him. He thought of calling Kurt, but his regular and deep
breath made him think his friend needed to sleep, so he left him in
peace. The moonless night prevented him from seeing, looking at Kurt. To
keep himself awake, Jacques started to hum all the songs he knew, in a
very low voice.

Then the boat shook, hitting a low rock, and turned on itself, dragged
by the waves. Jacques was trying to stabilize it, when heard Kurt's
alarmed voice.

"<What happens?>"

"Everything's alright, there is no danger."

"<What a darkness! Where are you?>"

"We just hit a rock, I think, but luckily we didn't capsize."

Jacques felt Kurt hands touch his feet, then go up along his legs, on
his thighs and stop there, while the boy was getting up and near him.

"If you touch me so..." Jacques said in a low voice, excited, "you arouse
me..."

"<I slept and left you alone...>"

"Pull out those hands from there, please..." Jacques said, shuddering,
more and more troubled.

Kurt knelt up before his friend and his warm hands lingered on his
thighs.

"Oh, Kurt... Kurt..." Jacques panted, shuddering again.

"<You're trembling>, friend, <are you cold?> Cold?"

"No..." Jacques answered.

He would drive away those so warm hands from his thighs, but he couldn't
leave the branches he was steering the boat with, not to lose them. Then
he took one out of the water, onto his lap, and pushed it towards his
friend's hands.

"Take it..." he said.

"Yes, Kurt take it." The boy answered seizing the branch and so pulling
away his hands from his friend's thighs.

He turned on his knees and moved going to sit on the other crosspiece,
and trying to move his branch on the right way. For a while they both
kept silent.

Then Kurt said, "<I had a weird dream, do you know?>"

"You should never touch me in that way."

"<I dreamed of my brother Otto...>"

"I already have difficulty controlling myself when you don't touch me..."

"<But he was old and married with a fat woman...>"

"There is too much intimacy, between us."

"<But I was still young!>"

"Or possibly... too little..."

"<And my sister in law was laughing because I still wasn't married.>"

"My desire to make love with you increases, instead of becoming less."

"<And I told her -- when I'll be grown-up, I'll marry.>"

"I'm falling in love with you... with you!"

"<And Otto said me -- no, you will grow no more, not now.>"

"Yes, I'm falling in love with you, even though I'm not able to tell
you, to make you understand..."

"<And I... I was happy at the thought I would not grow-up, and not marry,
yes, I was merry.>"

"... because I'm afraid I would totally lose you."

"<Wasn't it a weird dream?>"

"Will you leave me, one day?"

"<But you are telling me something important... I can feel it.>"

"Kurt?"

"Jacques?"

"You and I friends forever?"

"Friends, forever, yes." Kurt answered and added, "<Was it this you were
telling me about?>"

"Never leave me, whatever may happen..." Jacques begged, then added, "Kurt
*qui laetificat juventutem meam!*"

The Prussian boy asked, "Repeat?"

"Kurt *qui laetificat juventutem meam...*"

"Ah, yes! Jacques *qui laetificat juventutem meam!*"

"Why in the Mass is there never a declaration of love?" Jacques asked,
sorrowful, more to himself than to his friend.

"<How long is it since I stopped attending Mass...>" Kurt murmured.

"Look, the sky is clearing up, there behind the forest..." Jacques said.

He looked around. The banks were now starting to be discernible.

"Should we possibly draw in to the bank. Kurt?"

"Yes, you speak."

"Here, boat. There, land. Let's go?"

"No river? You and I to walk?"

"There, land. Let's go?"

"Yes, let's go."

They both tried to maneuver to get at the bank. It seemed difficult but
little by little they approached the right bank. There was a thicket of
trees bending over the river and they started to pass under them. But
they were not able to find a hold within reach and neither were they
able to get nearer the bank. They were almost about to give up when the
boat hit something in the water. The two boys at once saw a slanting
trunk, half underwater, that was holding the boat.

They tried to push with their branches and Kurt managed to push his
branch against something firm and made the boat slip against the trunk,
towards the bank. After several efforts Jacques succeeded in reaching a
low branch jutting out over the river, seized it and pulled with all his
means. Kurt went to help him and the boat slipped even more towards the
bank. They both had their hands benumbed but finally the boat was near
enough to the bank. Then Kurt hoisted himself onto the low branch, with
the boat rope tied at his waist, slid along the branch until he reached
the trunk and, sitting on the bifurcation, pulled with all his force
until the boat touched the high and somewhat steep bank.

Kurt tied the rope to the branch, seized the bundles that Jacques was
handling him, and finally Jacques also hoisted himself onto that branch
and reached Kurt on the bank. They departed a little from the river,
looking around cautiously, to be sure they could find their way back.
When they reached the edge of the trees, they looked beyond. There were
fields and, in the distance, houses. The fields had been ploughed and
the soil was bare. They went back amongst the trees and sat on the
ground.

"Who knows how much further Belgium is?" Jacques asked.

"<Belgium? You are thinking of going to Belgium, aren't you? Do you know
where it is?>" Kurt asked.

"They say that there is no war there."

"<You know where to go, I come with you.>"

"Who knows, maybe there we can find a good job"

"<Yes, I'll come wherever you decide to go. You are now my whole family.>"
Kurt said, convinced.

Jacques didn't understand, but on instinct he nodded. "I'm feeling very
tired. I think I'll try to sleep."

"You sleep? I take blanket Jacques." Kurt said and stood up to take it.
He spread it and made a gesture to his friend to lie down. "Kurt ground
sit, and watch Jacques. Good?"

"Yes, thank you. I'm ready to drop with sleep."

"<Sleep, my friend. I will watch over you. Later we will decide if it
would better to go down the river in the boat in the daytime or not.>"

Jacques laid down and almost at once he fell into a deep sleep.

Kurt was at times looking at him, at times all around and mainly towards
the fields which, from their position, were barely visible.

He let his friend sleep for several hours, until he felt hungry. He then
woke him up and they shared some food.

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CONTINUES IN CHAPTER 8

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In my home page I've put some more of my stories. If someone wants to
read them, the URL is

http://andrejkoymasky.com

If you want to send me feed-back, or desire to help revising my English
translations, so that I can put on-line more of my  stories in English
please e-mail at

andrej@andrejkoymasky.com

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