Don Marco prepared the solemn funerals for the old parson and was in the process of writing a message to send to the Cardinal, when his Eminence, with great surprise of Don Marco, arrived at the village. The Cardinal celebrated the old Priest funeral rites together with Don Marco. Then, after the burial of Don Caselli, the Cardinal went with Don Marco to the rectory.
"What time was it when he passed away?"
"It was three 'o clock in the afternoon, at the bell chime."
"At three 'o clock exact!" the Cardinal thoughtful said.
"Yes, he just heard my confession and absolved me. Normally we confess to each other on the evening of Saturday, but the day before yesterday... What is strange is that he didn't seem stupefied when I asked him to hear my confession. It seemed that he was waiting for it."
"I would not be amazed to hear that. Don Caselli saw, with the eyes of God, things that we would not have been able to see."
"I had a serious moral problem, and..."
"He absolved you, right? Now, from Heaven, he is watching over you. Praise the Lord, because forever is His mercy."
"And great is His name. Thank you, Eminence."
The Cardinal stopped at the Rectory until the Sunday, when he installed Don Marco as the new parson. He promised Don Marco that he would send a new vicar to help him. Don Marco didn't know that the Cardinal had been warned by Don Caselli that he had to leave the parish. Therefore he sided him with a vicar so that the handing over of his office would be made to a Priest who knew the parish problems. In fact, now the Cardinal was sure that the other prophecies of the late parson would all come to pass in the fullness of time.
Don Marco once again resumed all of his activities and now that he no longer had the burden of caring for the old Parson and that his new help was arriving soon, he could concentrate wholeheartedly on the refurbishment of the Parish.
Winter came and with it the snow. The school, especially in winter, worked full time. The other activities came to an almost complete halt. Don Marco prepared the liturgies for Christmas and the entire village was bustling with activities. They were preparing the great crib on Saint Laurent Chapel, the children were rehearsing the songs under the Maestro's guidance. The women repaired the vestments and hangings, thoroughly cleaned the Church and polished the candlesticks.
Don Marco went as usual to visit the old or the ill people, bringing everybody a good word, a fruit or a small present. He was coming back from a house just out of the village, when a snow ball hit his biretta solidly in the middle, causing it to fly off his head. Fresh laughter accompanied the biretta's flight.
"Beniamino! If I catch you..." the Priest shouted taking some snow, compacting a couple of projectiles and ran after the boy.
He hit him on his back and on his leg. The boy turned and threw him another snow ball. They chased each other laughing like two kids, until Beniamino slipped and Don Marco pounced upon him. The boy still laughing, engaged in a fight. They threw snowballs at each other, until they become tired and all white with snow. From their mouths rose white clouds of their breath. Both Beniamino and Don Marco embraced each other still laughing. After a short time the laughter, little by little, calmed down. Soon everything changed as their gaze became more intense, their eyes filled with desire, their mouths searched for each other and they kissed with passion, vigour, like two thirsty people.
"Oh, Beniamino..."
"Marco, I love you!"
"Oh, God! I too love you." the Priest said almost sobbing, as a tear ran down his face.
"Why did you flee, the other time?"
"Don't you understand? Oh, my Beniamino, can't you understand? Also this time I have to flee. I don't want to, but I have to."
"You don't want but you must? No, I don't understand. Is it because I did it with everybody? After Giannotto's death, I never did it with anybody, I swear. I stopped it, for you."
"That doesn't matter. It is not for that reason. What I mean is that I desire you, Beniamino, but I can't. Forgive me, I just can't." the Priest said standing up and almost running away.
"It's useless you running away from me! I love you and no matter what I'll love you forever. I will always be waiting for you." Beniamino murmured shaking his head with a sad smile.
Don Marco was shaken. He never felt so near surrendering, so wanting to surrender. Because he felt that, what Beniamino was feeling for him, was not sheer desire, but true love, true at least as his own love for the boy. Beniamino said that he had stopped other men from using him so that he can be true and faithful to the young Priest. Don Marco was feeling low because he couldn't do the same with Beniamino to be faithful to Him, his God. Was he so weak in his resolutions? Moreover he was also hurting the boy, allowing him to feel his love and desire but denying everything to the boy.
Christmas celebrations absorbed him very much. Several men of the village went to confess their sins and all wanted Don Marco to hear their confession, and not the new vicar. Don Marco often spent long hours hearing the confessions, giving advice and absolving the sin. At evening he was feeling dead tired and often he abruptly fell asleep as soon as he hit the bed. But finally the Epiphany came, the crib was dismounted and normal life was resumed. Yet the desire to see Beniamino, to talk to him, to enjoy his smile, to be close to him, flared up again.
Even the bed where he was sleeping - almost as if it preserved the print of those far away days when Beniamino lay naked and slept there - filled him with thoughts, sensations and agitation. He prayed with fervour, but the images of the smiling loving face of the boy and the image of his beautiful body kept reappearing in his mind.
The snow was melting and the first spring rains accelerated its disappearance. The air was still cool but no more icy and it was possible to notice all around the inkling of the new season. Don Marco went to clean the chapel of Saint Gregory, whose celebration day was approaching. He eradicated the weeds, pulled out the webs, completed the cleaning, replaced the altar cloth and put new candles in the candlesticks. Satisfied, he set out again on the road to the village. He was passing near the ruins of the old mill when, without any particular reason, he felt like seeing its interior. He had passed nearby a thousand times and he never visited it. He scrambled up to the wooden, crooked and maimed portal, slipped between the two remaining parts of the door, penetrated inside and he was flabbergasted. The sun made a fantastic play of lights and shadows between sound rafters and enormous webs wet with water droplets, and on the floor a thick carpet of intense green ferns and moss, gave the impression of an enchanted world. He advanced feeling almost like an explorer in a new and unknown world.
When he entered into the second wide room, he saw Beniamino. The boy was at the windowsill of a wide window without frames, leaning out, contemplating the panorama sloping down toward the valley. The sun played drawing golden dazzles with his hair. Don Marco never realised that the light brown of the boy's hair had so many precious reflections. The neck curve inserted onto the wide shoulders in a gentle line. Don Marco stopped to look at the boy, moved. Beniamino didn't hear him arrive. The boy, with a light gesture of his hand, tidied his hair. Then, at the modulated whistle of a little bird, the boy answered gently whistling the same tune and laughed softly.
Don Marco whilst approaching the boy, felt his heart beating strongly. Beniamino, almost as he had the inkling of something being there, turned slowly, saw the young priest and smiled to him. "You discovered my secret shelter. Welcome." he sweetly whispered.
"Do you come here often?" Don Marco asked stopping in front of him and tenderly looking at him.
"Yes, when I need to be alone. But you can stay here."
"Thank you." Don Marco murmured.
"Marco..." Beniamino said holding out his hands.
The man got hold of them. Beniamino gently, slowly pulled the man to him and their eyes were magnetised. Beniamino let go the young man's hands and seized him at his sides.
Don Marco delicately took the boy's face between his hands and murmured: "You are so beautiful."
The boy smiled, and their lips met and they kissed.
Beniamino slowly unbuttoned the Priest sauterne, slipped it off from him, spread it on the ferns and moss and pulled the man down onto it, with himself. Marco, docile, followed him. They kissed again and caressed. Their bodies searched each other and each felt the other's excitement. Then Beniamino unbuttoned the other clothes of the young man, and Marco did likewise with light hands. Little by little he uncovered the body of the boy he loved.
All was happening as though it was a dream; slowly, gently and in a crescendo of emotions. And when, in a silent offering Beniamino presented himself to Marco, the young man finally knew the rapture of being united with the beloved being. They made love to each other with calm passion, for a long while, forgetful of everybody and everything. They knew, by instinct, how to give to the other the maximum of pleasure and joy. Their bodies, melted in one, expressed in a gentle and virile dance all the depths of their love. And it was beautiful, or rather, wonderful. When at last they relaxed, satisfied, they tenderly embraced. Marco was astounded for how good he was feeling.
Then slowly they dressed again, smiling to each other, filled with love. "Are you coming to the village?" asked Don Marco, invited the boy to stand up.
"Not yet. I will remain here a little more. See you later."
Don Marco resumed his journey on the road to the village and felt light-hearted, alive, strong and sound as he never felt before. But when he was in front of the church, it was like he was waking up. He entered the Church, knelt at the last pew and looked at the crucifix for a very long time.
"Lord, I have betrayed You! I did not keep the promise I made to You. Yet I liked it. It was great and so beautiful. I now understand I did wrong. I went wrong towards You and towards Beniamino. Forgive me, I pray You. Please help him and assist him because he is a dear boy. Don't make him suffer too much because of me. Now he is happy, but when I have to tell him, help me tell him in the right way, Lord. Have mercy on your unfaithful servant. I love You, my Lord and my God. But I love him. Help me to do the right thing, I beseech You. I am confused. I don't want to leave You, I cannot leave You, but I don't want to make him suffer. My God, help me, help me. Have mercy on my weakness. And you, holy man of God, Don Caselli, pray to our Lord for me."
Don Marco was repented, because he knew he did wrong and he was determined that the sin wasn't repeated and yet he felt he was in love with Beniamino. This love was continuing to fill him with sweetness. He met the boy again the following day, on the church steps. He greeted the boy with a smile as Beniamino approached him.
"Marco."
"Beniamino, I'm happy to see you."
"I too, Marco."
"I need to talk to you. Do you have some time?"
"For you? Always."
"You are a dear boy. I love you, Beniamino."
"I too, you know it."
"Yes, I know. That's why it is not easy to say, it is not easy to tell you what I have to say."
The boy looked at him with a questioning air: "Did you repent for yesterday? It is so, right?"
"Yes, my poor Beniamino, but it is not your fault. You gave me your love and I thank you for that. It has been a wonderful gift, really. But I was not worthy to accept it. I have been weak and for that I have to ask you forgiveness."
"You was not worthy? Why not, if you really love me."
"Yes, I love you. I love you so much, but I gave my word to another. Before meeting you I fell in love with another and I know that I cannot cheat on Him, even if I did it earlier. I cannot continue to cheat any more."
"You are in love with another man?"
"Y... yes, it is right."
"That you met before me?"
"Right."
"Are you really in love him."
"Very much."
"That's why you were so hesitant the other times, right? Do I know him?"
"By sight."
"Who is he?"
"Do you really want to know?"
"Yes. If what we have had between us has to stop. You love me, I know that. So I want to know who this person is, that such an extraordinary man that makes you renounce me."
"Come with me then and I'll introduce you." Don Marco said with a smile.
Beniamino followed him inside the Church, "Is he here in the Church, now?" he whispered, quite surprised.
"Yes. Here He is. You see, it is Him!" the Priest said pointing at the great crucifix.
The boy looked towards the altar with his mouth wide open, to the Christ on the cross, then murmured, "Him! It is to Him you promised."
"Yes, I vowed to Him that I would never cheat on him ever. But I have cheated on Him, with you. I know He is kind, very forgiving, but, you must understand when I say it is between Him or you. Please forgive me, Beniamino, if I choose to remain faithful to Him."
"You must love Him very much, then."
"Yes, even if I'm not able to love Him as He deserves."
"But... this is not fair!"
"Why?"
"Because I asked Him to make our love possible."
"But I love you, Beniamino, I really love you."
"But not in the way I want you to love me. Not only, at least. Yesterday, I believed He answered my prayer. On the contrary, He is my rival!"
"You have no reason to be upset with Him. The fault lies with me."
Beniamino, continued as if he didn't hear him, his eyes staring at the great crucifix, "Well, a rival... as if a flea considered itself to be the rival of an elephant! How can I possibly compete with You, if You really are God?"
"Are you upset with me?"
"With you? Yes, a little. You had to tell me first with whom I would have had to compete for your love. That you promised Him! Even if, perhaps, until a few days ago, I wouldn't have understood. Maybe I couldn't have accepted. It is hard to renounce to you, Marco, but I will love you forever. At least, He cannot prevent me from this, it would not be fair. All right, I stop disturbing you two, then."
"I'm sorry, Beniamino, believe me."
"Yes, I believe you. He cannot possibly give to you what I can... But perhaps He gives you something else. I hope so..." At this point Beniamino turned to the crucifix, "It must be something worth while. Because I love him. Do You understand? Have him dear, therefore. Are You listening to me? I leave Marco to You but, woe betide You if..." the boy said bursting in tears and ran away from the church.