Date: Wed, 8 Jun 2011 21:27:59 -0700 (PDT)
From: jim ford <sojourn1950@yahoo.com>
Subject: Unclaimed Hearts chapter 3

This story is fiction. The characters are adults in adult
situations. Warnings: The only person you can ever hope to truly know is
yourself. Trust no one; use condoms. If you are not of legal age or in a
jurisdiction in which this document is illegal, go way. This is my
story. Please respect the copyright. Sojourn1950@yahoo.com

NOTE: Josh is telling this story to someone. In the original text I used
Bold to identify when he was speaking directly to that person. Nifty does
not do bold... so there may be some confusion. There is one place within
this chapter where Josh addresses his audience directly. It is one line and
spaced from the rest of the text.


Bill had taken a step back. His body became rigid, his fist
clinched. Through gritted teeth he repeated, "I'm queer." His eyes were
watching. His body ready for the attack he was certain would come. I turned
my back and moved to the tailgate. My feet could find no comfort on this
gravel.

Bill figured I was leaving. He stooped to strap on his duffle bag. When he
heard me lower the tailgate, he stepped away from his bag. He resumed his
defensive posture. I guess he thought I was retrieving a weapon. Instead I
hooked the chains so the gate was horizontal and sat. My feet screamed
their relief. I folded my left leg and lay it on the gate and hung my right
leg over my ankle. Bill had to know I was in no position to attack him or
even defend myself.

"How do you know? Yesterday you said you had never done anything with a
man. So, how do you know?"

"Josh, I never said that... You said, "don't worry Bill, I've never done
anything like that either." You just assumed I hadn't. I never said one way
or the other. How do I know...? I didn't until my last six months in the
Army."

Bill seemed to be having a hard time finding something to do with his
hands, now that they wouldn't be needed as fists. They seemed to be
everywhere and nowhere for very long. Finally, even he noticed and stuffed
they deep into his pockets.

"Look, Bill I know this is important to you." Before I could finish Bill
had backed up and turned to strap on his duffle bag. The son of a bitch
couldn't wait to get away from me.

"GODDAMN IT! WILL YOU WAIT? ONE FUCKING MINUTE!"

I could see the shock on his face as he let the duffle bag fall from his
shoulders. "I know you got something to say. I'm more than willing to hear
it. But I don't think this is a conversation to have when I am half naked
alongside the road. Now get your sorry ass in gear, throw your bag in here
and get your butt in the truck. We can talk at home. I can at least get
some fucking shoes on. If after we talk, either of us decide you should
still leave, I'll take you back to Dayton and leave you at the diner by the
feed store."

I stood up in the bed of the truck and made my way to the cab. I managed to
open the door and get behind the wheel without stepping foot on that rough
assed gravel. Maybe I should let them pave this road.

Bill tossed his bag in the back and closed the tailgate. When he was seated
again, I let out a sigh. I was not looking forward to this conversation. I
didn't want him to leave thinking I was angry with him. I didn't want him
to be queer. Really, I didn't know what I wanted. I still didn't much like
the idea that he would soon be gone. I wondered if we were just wasting
time by going back to the house. I admitted to myself that one more hour,
one more minute of his time, was not a waste.

I figured if we were gonna talk about this shit, I'd have to prime the
pump, "Bill, did you like the stuff you did with that guy? I mean... he
didn't force you or do something while you were asleep?"

"No, it wasn't like that. It was almost like we decided at the same
time... to touch each other. I mean..."

I cut him off. Here he was telling me he couldn't wait to touch this guy
and every time I came close to touching him he went nuts. I didn't need to
hear this shit. "Bill, I don't mean to interrupt but had you ever done
anything like that before?"

"Josh, the closest I came was a circle jerk with three of my friends in the
sixth grade. No touching, just jerking off with friends. That was the only
time. What happened with him... was a shock. It took me a while to believe
it really even happened. I never thought about anything like that. In high
school I fucked a couple of girls. In college when Charlene and I dated,
she let me fuck her. She wasn't a virgin... but neither was I. I enjoyed
sex with women. I never thought about doing anything with a man... until
him. Seems like after that first time it was all I thought about. When I
jacked off I thought about what we did and how good it all felt. We messed
around for a couple of months. We were careful not to get caught. I think I
loved him. He'd come in as a temporary fill in. He had been at the embassy
in Rome. He was due to muster out and was killing time with our unit. We
had a replacement that was to show up two weeks after Jeff, that was his
name, Jeff. Anyway, I wanted to get together with Jeff after we were
mustered out. He told me he was going back to Pennsylvania to marry his
high school sweetheart. I guess I kind of took it hard. I was moping around
after he left, knowing I would never see him again."

"One of the guys apparently saw us do something or had a suspicion. He was
about your size and built like you. We had been buddies until Jeff came
along. Anyway he said something about me missing my queer buddy and I
unloaded on his ass. It took three or four guys to pull me off of him. He
had three busted ribs, a busted jaw and two teeth knocked out. I was pretty
much ok, except my knuckles."

"My Captain either did me a favor or else he didn't want the paperwork of a
courts martial. He sent me to Walter Reed in D.C. to await my discharge. I
was scared that they would find out about me and send me to
Leavenworth. Kansas is fine... but not that part. Anyway, before too long I
got my discharge and it was Honorable. So I was happy... almost. Except
what I did, what we did, still bothered me. I didn't see any other man that
I wanted to do anything with... until. Anyway, the rest you already know."

When we pulled into the yard, I just shut the motor off and listened. I
kept looking for some sign. Some indication that he might be
queer. Anything... Nothing. Bill had given no indication that he was
anything but all man. I could imagine him naked, shit. I could remember him
naked. Just couldn't imagine him naked, with another man.

We sat there in silence as I wondered if any of this could be true. It
didn't add up. The shit I heard about queers in high school had them
sneaking around bus stations and darkened theaters. Or offering little boys
candy. Or picking up hitchhikers... Shit! There was more evidence that I
was queer than there was condemning Bill. Yet, here he was telling me he
was a bona fide, died in the wool cocksucker. It just didn't add up.

"Lets go inside and get something cold to drink. We can talk some more. My
mouth is bone dry."

Bill followed me to the front porch and sat in one of the rocking
chairs. He'd said nothing since he fell silent in the truck. I went to the
fridge and got two beers and a church key.

Coming back onto the porch I found him leaning over the railing. He was
looking out over the yard. I stood beside him and handed him his opened
bottle. Still barefoot I rested my ass on the railing between Bill and the
post supporting the hand rail for the steps. I was facing the screen
doors. Bill was on my left, facing the yard. I crossed my feet at the
ankles and leaned against the post.

I had noticed the Crocuses were in bloom. They had been fooled also. Within
a week their blossoms would most likely be frosted with ice or snow. What
if Bill had been fooled? Maybe he was drunk or drugged? Maybe hypnotized?
"Bill, what if that was a one of a kind deal. What if it never happens
again. Maybe you aren't queer. Maybe you were confused. Maybe you were
drunk... ah shit. I don't know... are you sure you`re?" Then softer, as if
to make it less real, "queer?."

Bill sat his beer on the railing and stepped back. His face scowled as his
eyes mapped my face. "What? You think I would make this shit up...? Think I
wanted to tell you I like sucking cock? This is not bullshit! What do I
have to do to make you see that?"

A pause. He eyes held mine. "What...? Josh, what...? Suck your cock?" His
eyes shifted down my body then back up to meet mine. As he talked he
stepped so his feet were either side of mine. "Drop my pants and let you
fuck my ass? Is that what it would take?"

I didn't react to the fact that he had straddled my legs. Strange, but I
simply noticed his position. It didn't bother me or make me feel
threatened. There was a shift in his voice and demeanor. He was no longer
pleading. His voice was soft and low. "What do I have to do? Get naked and
show you how hard you make me?" I took a sip of my beer, more to show I was
not convinced than to quench my thirst.

Leaning in closer, his eyes still searching my face. He almost whispered,
"What do I have to do?" I could feel his breath on my face, each exhaled
syllable. It was like he was one of those Indian fakirs, I was charmed as
surely as a cobra in a basket. I couldn't move ... I didn't want to
move. He stepped in so I could feel his legs pressing against the outside
of mine.

Slowly, gently, trying not to startle me, he slipped his right hand around
my bare waist. I could feel my skin tingle at his touch. At the same time,
the back of his left hand lightly rubbed against my hairy belly and moved
ever so slowly upward. I watched fascinated by the feelings. The heat
coming from his right hand and the erotic caress of his left hand
rearranging the hairs on my skin. Each hair moved transmitted an electric
signal to my brain. The back of his fingers brushed against my left nipple,
creating a rippling sensation as each finger passed. I felt chills run down
my spine and turn into electricity that grounded in my balls as my cock
surged to half hard. That left hand found the back of my neck. Bill tilted
his face slightly to his left... and kissed me.

Holding my beer and leaning against the post, I was trapped. He was on me
before I could react.

Don't give me that look... Goddamn it! That's how I remember it.

I had never kissed a man. I had kissed more than a few girls and
women. None of them had ever kissed me. It was always my idea. Me pressing
my lips to theirs... this was a whole new world.

I could say a lot of things about that kiss. If I examined it
clinically... I suppose I would say he had the softest lips I had ever
felt, like downy cushions against my lips. I reckon I could say that he
tasted of beer... sharp, clean, enticing. His lips at first fluttered
against mine asking for... for a response. My lips yielded. Shock shifted
to bliss then bliss soared to passion... Distantly I heard the tinkle of
beer bottles as they crashed to the ground. Once my arms were around him,
he released my neck. The fingertips of his left hand were plowing furrows
through my chest hair. When those fingertips rubbed across my nipples I
moaned into the kiss. His invading tongue should have stifled my
moans. Instead the presence of that most intimate appendage only made me
moan louder as mine caressed and tried to embrace his. I pressed my lips
more firmly against his and pushed my tongue to explore and map his
mouth. His right hand pulled me closer, even as my own hands discovered his
ass and pulled him further onto me.

My cock was throbbing with every beat of my pounding heart. My own ass
started helping my cock by humping into his groin. I pulled his ass to sync
with my thrusts. I wouldn't last long. Bill broke the kiss long enough to
mummer something I couldn't comprehend... I stopped in mid-hump. I released
his ass. Whatever he had said was like cold water showered on two dogs
fucking. I pushed him away. It was my turn to search his face... for what?
I don't know. What he had said was too much...

Ever wonder why we close our eyes when we kiss? I know. It's so we can
wring every drop of excitement from that fleetingly intimate connection. We
block out the useless visual in order to fully attend what we taste and
feel. Reality is suspended.

My own eyes had betrayed me. Even before his lips touched mine they had
closed. Shutting off my brain so there was no revulsion, no hesitation,
just passion. God gave us noses so we could hold a kiss and breathe. That
kiss took my breath away, my lungs stalled. Every nerve was shutdown except
those lucky enough to be tied to my lips, tongue and mouth and Bill`s
touch. Ah, shit... truth is, every nerve in my body had been charged up by
that kiss.

I had to concentrate to make my eyes focus. And there they were... those
crinkles were there... Was he smiling through our kiss?

KISS!  FUCK! I WAS KISSING... HAD KISSED A MAN!  HAD KISSED... BILL! !

I pushed him farther away. The son of a bitch was still smiling. I wanted
to knock that smile into the next county. "You son of a bitch! What did you
do that for?"

Bill made a move to take me in his arms again. I side stepped him and
headed for the door. "I knocked our beers into the yard. I'll get some
more... I need a drink." I didn't wait for a response. I almost ran to the
kitchen. I had to put distance between myself and Bill... and that kiss.

I stuck my head inside the Frigidaire. The cooling air felt good against my
flushed, sweaty skin. I felt my nipples react to the sudden chill. I
examined them as if seeing them for the first time. I touched my finger to
my left nipple and felt a shock. Not as intense as Bill had provided, but a
shock. I wondered what else would I have discovered about my
body... myself, if he hadn't said what he said?

After a minute or more I remembered that Bill had not taken his bag out of
the truck and he was probably headed out again. Son of a bitch! I would
probably have to tackle him to get him to stay. I grabbed two beers and
closed the door. I hurried back to the porch hoping he was still there. I
didn't see him. I pushed the screen door open and cussed at the same time,
I realized he was gone.

"Fuck Me!"

"Okay, but it takes some getting used to and you're not ready for
that. What the hell ... I'm game if you are."

He was sitting in a rocking chair to my left. Bill reached for a beer. He
had the church key in his hand. "You dropped this too. I guess the only
thing you didn't drop was your pants." That fucking smile. Not the
crinkles... well there were some there. This one was the old "cat who
swallowed the canary" kind. It irritated, me no end.

I blushed so badly that I could feel the heat rising from my chest as it
crawled it's way to the top of my head. The cooling air from the Frigidaire
was a distant memory. I was still shirtless.

"You know when you blush it makes nice background for the swirled hair on
your chest. Does the blush ever go lower? I'd like to see that."

That fucking smile... could I learn to hate those crinkles?

"Fuck yo..." Instead I dropped it to say, "Asshole!"

I took the opened beer and moved back and leaned against the railing just
in front of him. I would rather have stayed inside but I was sure if I left
him alone for very long, he would leave. The blushed stayed and so did I.

"Don't be embarrassed Josh, you're a great kisser." It was his turn to
blush as he added, "Probably the best."

I didn`t want to be reminded of the kiss nor what he had said once it
broke. "I thought you'd left." I tried to make it an accusation... it came
out fearful. Fuck!

"After that kiss! Josh, you couldn't run me off with a double barreled
shotgun. I'm not going anywhere. Not until we get to know each other
better." His smile faded into serious... "All of a sudden, I`m not in a
hurry to go anywhere. I don`t understand this any better than you do. But
by god, I will. I'm not leaving you until I do."

That pissed me off! How the fuck could I be so afraid the son of a bitch
might leave and right now want to be rid of his sorry, smug, smiling ass at
the same time?

"What happened to the neurotic frightened little boy? What have you done
with him, you smart assed bastard? Was that all an act? Was that... that
kiss in your plans all along? What? You took one look at me and figured I'd
be the next recruit into the queer ranks?"

The smile faded into a pained expression. I didn't give a shit as long as
that self satisfied, shit eating, grin was gone. Okay... ok, I did give a
shit. "Bill, I'm sorry that was uncalled for. I know you've been
honest... brutally honest." I traced my lips with the tip of the bottle at
the memory of that kiss. "I still don't understand why you went nuts when I
almost touched you in the truck and again this morning. Then just now you
... you kissed me... What the fucks going on with you? You goddamn tell me
you like ..." I caught myself before I said something that he might not
appreciate. "like ... men. But, you go ape shit when my hand even gets
close to you." I don't understand. Is there more you're not telling me?"

A winsome smile washed his face. I was relieved to see the look of hurt
go. "Josh, I don't want to be queer. When we got to talking so easy, it was
like I'd known you a long time. I felt like you were an old friend. When I
agreed to come here, it was like I would be working with a nice guy,
somebody I already knew. Hell, just being in your company was the most fun
I could remember ever having. I didn't think anything could fuck it up. I
figured time with you would somehow get me back on the right track."

The slight smile had faded as he began to talk. Now, the pained expression
was back. "When you reached across the cab of the truck, I thought you were
starting something, Something... I hadn't thought you
would... Something... I'd hoped I would never experience again."

"Josh, this whole thing about hitchhiking back home was to convince myself
that I wasn't queer. That I could marry Charlene and live a normal
life. Getting robbed didn't mean shit. It gave me an excuse for some time
to think. Meeting you was the most normal thing that has happened to me in
a long time. Until ... until ... I hyperventilated. That moment it all came
back to me so strong. That instant closed the door on my chance for a
normal life."

He paused and took a swig of his beer. "Look, Bill, I'm sometimes
pig-headed. I know that... but since I didn't touch you ... couldn't you
just pick up where you left off? I mean I had no intention of doing
anything like ... like ... hell, I don't even know what I would've done. I
don't know what queers do." That garnered me a look that suggested I was
talking out of my ass. "Yeah, ok, so they kiss. I've heard about other
things they do. Oh, fuck ... Why couldn't you've just let that go and keep
on not being queer?"

In spite of my lack of eloquence Bill understood what I meant.

He leaned forward in the rocker and twisted his bottle around in his
hands. His eyes focused intently on that action. When he spoke, he didn't
look up. "Josh, the reason I can't is because in that moment, I wanted you
to touch me. I wanted you to be starting something. It was like a switch
was turned on inside my head. After that every time I looked at you... I
wanted you. I wanted you to want me. This morning I almost came in my
drawers just watching you scratch you chest. I got so wrapped up in
imagining it was me playing with your nipple and stroking your chest
hair... I would have cum, if you hadn't called my name. When I realized you
saw I had a hardon for you... I knew I had to leave."

He stood up without looking at me and walked to the steps. He stopped on
the top and leaned against the post. He stared at the pickup like he was
thinking of getting his bag and walking off.

Whatever he was thinking, he stayed where he was. When he spoke it was with
conviction. "Josh, I wanted so much for you to touch me. In the kitchen, if
you had touched me anywhere, I would have shot off. That's also why I lost
it when you tried to help me by the bed. I was afraid that if you touched
me I wouldn't be able to let go. You can't imagine how it feels to want
something so bad and not want it at the same time."

I didn't tell him, but I understood perfectly...

"I don't know maybe I'm nuts. You asked if the kiss was in my plan. I
didn't and don't have a plan. Part of me right now wants to get my bag out
of your truck and start walking and never look back. Part of me is hoping
you'll decide to drive me to Dayton... that part of me wants to put as much
distance between you and me as possible. Still, there is a big part of me,
most of me, that wants to stay here with you and figure this out... for
better or worse."

"The kiss. The kiss wasn't planned. You were trying to convince me that I
wasn't queer and I ... I knew I was. All those things you brought
up... have already occurred to me. I've tried to make everyone of them
true. They weren't true for me and they didn't sound any more true when you
said them. The kiss... was to be proof that I knew what I was saying. I
knew I wanted to kiss you. I really did. When it occurred to me I had an
almost legitimate excuse... Well, I did it without thinking. If I had
thought about it, I most definitely would't have done it. Not after what I
saw you go through this morning. I didn't think. When I kissed you, I knew
I would take a beating everyday just to have that kiss. Still would. That
kiss went beyond making me want to cum. When you kissed me back, I can't
begin to describe the thrill, the feelings, that ran though me. Goddamn,
Josh that was the most amazing moment of my life."

Silence feel with a crash. What he said... the last part, echoed through my
head. Only as the echo died it was my own voice saying, "The most amazing
moment of my life."

As he began to talk about the kiss. His voice lightened and his face began
to light up with that crinkle smile. I knew my kiss had done that... I
blushed. He was watching me now, in the silence, with that smile. When he
saw the blush his smile brightened beyond brilliant. That smile made the
rest of the springtime, sun kissed world, dim in comparison. I knew that
smile was because of me and for me. For me alone. I knew. It was more than
a little scary...

He started toward me. I turned and faced him. I knew what was coming. My
lips quivered. I wanted to talk... to stop him. Tell him it wasn't
right... I wasn't like that. I felt his breath on my face. I felt his
finger brush lightly over the hairs on my chest.

I had been watching his eyes... they were so close now they blurred... or
was that my vision? My eyes closed. I knew I should say something...
anything to prevent him from kissing me. Instead I pulled him to me. I had
to kiss him... I had to know if those lips were as soft as I had first
thought. I tilted my head and place my lips on his unbelievably soft
lips. In the first kiss passion had built quickly. This time was different.
It was like we new when he turned toward me we were going to kiss. When our
lips met passion didn't build... it soared. I have known hunger, I have
known thirst. I never knew a need so desperate, so deep that when it burst
forth it seemed all consuming. There was no me... there was no him... there
was only us.


Thanks for the encouraging emails. If I continue to write and post stories
on Nifty, I will build a "notification" file. If you would like to be
added, let me know.