Date: Mon, 28 Mar 2016 23:35:11 +0000 (UTC) From: JoshRJosh Subject: gay male incest a brothers love (2) part 30 Please do not read if you are not of legal age or if this material is illegal where you live. This story belongs to JoshR. Copyright 2015. All Rights Reserved. Nifty.org is a great site and it is FREE and run by a dedicated person who gives of his time and energy. Please DONATE. Oh yeah, and thank you for the kind emails. They are very much appreciated. (Again forgive the typos. Last time I didn't proofread the chapter. Big mistake. Sorry. This time I will and that is why it has taken longer to post. Hopefully less typos.) A Brother's love (2) part Thirty I had had almost three weeks off from swim practices. Aaron, David and I swam from time to time, but it was more for stress relief during finals. Now it was time to meet with the swim coach to plan summer workouts and a look toward the next season. First he met with David. David and I passed in the hall. "Sit," the coach said when I walked in. I did. He kept reading through my folder of my times from the last year. He looked up at me. "You did well last year. Actually, better than I had hoped for. You're a hard worker, much like David. I like that." Here we go, I thought. Now the bad news. "And, I believe you can do a lot better. This year your workouts will be a lot more intense. Two things," he said rocking back in his chair. "First I'm keeping you in the backstroke. I know you've done well there and I think you can do a lot better. You'll swim mornings like last summer and afternoons on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Then I want you in the weight room on MWF. And you can bring your friend to workouts if you want." "My friend?" I raised my eyebrow. "Sorry, your boyfriend. What's his name?" "Aaron." I felt my face warm. "Yes, Aaron. David said you enjoy your workouts a lot more with him. David will be in the weight room also." "Aaron might have class then." "Well, if he's available you're welcome to bring him." I nodded. "You're swimming the relay. I haven't decided what exactly you'll do; probably freestyle." I nodded. "And you're swimming butterfly." He stared at me. I tried not to show my feelings but I could feel my face tense up. I thought to say Ð I don't want to swim the butterfly next year, or you don't need me in the butterfly, or if you're wanting first places out of me, that won't happen when I'm swimming against David. I thought to say a lot of things, but I just stared. "You have thoughts?" he said. I breathed in and exhaled loudly. "I'd rather not swim against my brother. He's just so much better and," "He and I have talked. He's swimming mornings also. He suggested that he might be able to help you. I suggested he swim your lane and just behind you." My teeth clenched. I shook my head. "Ah, that never works." "Well I'd like to try it. I need you in the butterfly and I expect and your brother expects that you'll do quite well." He talked on but I didn't much listen after that. Was allowing Aaron to workout with me when I worked out supposed to placate me, mollify my anger about having David on my ass. During workouts, coaches will put four or five guys in a lane. They'll give everyone instructions as to what they are to do Ð it's called a set. He'll call time and the first guy will take off. Five seconds later, the second guy takes off and down the line. Every swimmer hates it when the guy behind him, five seconds behind him, catches up to him before the end of the set. If you're the slowest guy or girl, you move to the end of the line so that you're not slowing anyone down and so that you're not passed. The coaches on the Bolts tried to press me by putting David behind me. And, God, did I hate it. With other guys David would stay in line, with me he'd catch up to me, move along side me and bump me, push me and yell, `move you ass' or `you taking a break?' One time I got out of the pool, walked to another lane and swam. If he moved into my lane, I moved. When the coaches told me that it was to help me push myself, I sat and stared and refused to swim lanes with him. But that was the Bolts and high school. I never minded his help with swimming when I was a kid. As a matter-of-fact, I loved it. But when we were in high school it felt embarrassing to have my older brother pushing me along. Where I asked for his help with schoolwork, I didn't want him on my ass in the pool. I left the coaches office. I saw David. "Was this your idea?" I snarled. "No. I told him you'd hate it." "I don't want to swim butterfly." "Get over it. You're going to swim butterfly. You should be great at all strokes. This `I don't do butterfly' is high school shit." He stared at me. "You think world class swimmers don't do this stroke or that stroke. You swim everything." "I'm not world class nor do I want to be and I hate you," I said. He smiled. "I'm okay with that as long as it makes you a better swimmer. And don't pull that shit where you get out of the lane." "Then stay off of me." "I will if you move your ass." The thought of people seeing him pressing me in a lane riled me. True, this was summer and hardly anyone from the team was swimming, but I knew this would go on through the year. I stared at him angrily. "Josh, let me help you. Stop turning this into a battle. If anyone can help you with the butterfly, I can." "Yeah, well, I still hate you." "I know. But you've got to get over this bullshit thing you've got about racing against me. I don't give a shit if you're better than me." "Oh, so now I'm better than you. First I need your coaching, you riding my ass and then I'm better than you." He laughed. "You are such a dick. No you're not better than me, but yes you will be. Get over yourself." We got on our bikes to ride to work. We were both life guarding and teaching kids at the YMCA. I calmed down, but I still didn't like the idea. I didn't like anyone riding up on me and I didn't want to race against David. Practice started. The coach walked the pool shouting at various swimmers. He left David and I alone. David stood and watched me swim laps, then he got in the pool with me and suggest minor changes to my kick, to my stroke, to my turns. I listened. I didn't mind taking instructions from him. I was good only because of him and I knew it, but when he'd start with the barking at me, I'd feel my teeth clinch. The second week of practice I was getting tired of him being `coach'. He swam up on me as I was doing the butterfly. "Taking a break?" I stopped and stared at him. I growled, "Look, you want speed right now or do you want me to try to change my strong. I'm fucking concentrating on my stroke. So, either give me a break or," "Okay, okay, you're right." I stared. "David this is a bad idea." "Not mine," he said, nodding his head toward the coach. Aaron had talked to me about David and me arguing. I said, "Don't take any of it seriously." "It looks serious." "I know. But we argue and he's being a dick." My grandparents were heading out in the RV for a two-week vacation. They gave us their itinerary. Their first stop was UX. They were spending the weekend parked in front of my apartment. I was excited to see them. They arrived Friday afternoon. David, Tina, Aaron and I made reservations at a restaurant and took them to dinner. My grandmother sat beside Tina and chatted her up. They joked and had us all laughing. My granddad sat beside Aaron. My granddad was a reader. He and Aaron talked authors and books they read. I watched my granddad enjoying Aaron. I couldn't imagine loving them any more that I did that night. My grandparents retired to their RV. David and Tina went to their apartment and Aaron and I went to ours. My grandfather asked if I'd go to breakfast with him in the morning. That meant early rising. As I closed the door, I said, "You were great with my granddad and I really appreciate it." I walked over to him, put my arms around him and kissed him. "I didn't do anything. He was the one who was engaging me in conversation. I wish I knew more about him so I could have asked him about what interests him." "He reads. He reads everything he can get his hands on. So, you were talking about what interests him." "I like him a lot. I think when you said he was a Marine it kind of scared me a little." "He is a Marine. There are Marines who are assholes like there are gay guys who are assholes. But there are great Marines like there are great gay people." "I know. I know, but," he hesitated. "I really like him and your grandmother is a hoot." "Take your clothes off." He laughed as he stared at me. "I'm serous. Take your clothes off." "Can we go to the bedroom?" "I don't care were we you go, but get out of them. It's going to be another early morning and we're having animal sex tonight." He laughed and was out of his clothes in just a few seconds. He was naked before I had my shoes off. Once undressed, I stood before him, stroking my dick. I put my hand on his shoulder and pressed him to his knees. He chuckled, took hold of my cock and put it in his mouth. Hungrily he moaned and sucked my dick. I put both my hands on his head to hold him still. I face fucked him. Then I stood still and moved his head back and forth. I moaned as I got close. He moaned in anticipation of my orgasm. I came hard and he swallowed. He stood. "Is it crazy that I love it when you shoot your load in my mouth?" I nodded and smiled. He smiled and kissed me. He said, "I love when we do shit like that." I grabbed the lube and wet my hole. I knelt on the bed and arched my back. He pressed in. He fucked me fast and hard while holding my hips. He grunted and groaned and then pressed hard into me and came. He held on while breathing hard. The next morning he got up when I did. In the shower, he said, "What do you think your grandfather wants?" "What makes you think he wants anything?" "You and him at breakfast." I stared at him. "I'm sure he asked David too. I think he just wants to spend time with us." "I don't think he asked David and why not take your grandmother?" "I don't know." "Take my car," he said as I walked toward the door. I turned and looked at him. "Are you going to walk? He's not going to drive the RV." He tossed me the keys. "Thank you." Sitting in the restaurant, after we ordered, my grandfather said, "I want to talk to you about something and I want you to hear me out." Shit, I thought, it is always bad news when someone starts like this. "What did I do?" "I want to talk to you about swimming." "Swimming?" I said surprised. "I understand the coach asked David to put pressure on you to do better." I sighed and picked up my spoon to play with. "And I understand that you've been angry at David." "I'm not angry at him. Well, sometimes I am," I said and shrugged. "It's no big deal." "I don't understand why you've dug in your heels about this." "About what?" "Doing better than your brother, if that is possible." I shook my head. "Look, Josh, I know this thing you do. You're not angry, you're just stubborn and I know stubborn. When I decide something, even if I know I'm wrong, sometimes I will fight to hold my position. And believe me, I know there is nothing admirable about that." "I just don't think," "Don't tell me you can't do this or that. This is not about whether you can beat him in a race. It's about you fighting him on it. Maybe you'll never be as good as him. Maybe you'll be much better. But you won't find out. Is it that you'd feel humiliated if you never out do him?" "No," I said emphatically. "So, you're concerned with what?" "Its his senior year." "So, you think that David would feel humiliated if you beat him in a race." "No. I don't know. No, I just think I'll feel bad, like I did something wrong." I sighed. "He won't feel bad, but maybe other people will think stuff." I sighed again. "I don't know. Granddad, swimming is David's thing. It was his thing first. It just feels wrong." "You think swimming is important to David. I mean like who he is?" I stared at him. "He's always been swimming." "When I think of myself as a person the first thing on my list now is being a husband, then a grandfather, then a friend and neighbor." "A Marine." "Yes, that's on the list, but I promise you, your grandmother comes first. Being a Marine is something I did and I'll always be proud of that, but being a good husband is far more important to me." I nodded. "What do you think is number one on David's list?" I felt tears on my eyelids. I shook my head. He said, "Being a good brother. You're brother takes so much pride in being there for you in every possible way. Josh, that boy has had his hand on your shoulder forever. So much of how he feels about himself has to do with how you do. It may be wrong that he took that role with you, but someone had to. He taught you to swim. He got you onto that swim team." "The Bolts." "He helped you focus on your studies. And you were always open to taking his lead." I sighed. "Your brother would give anything of himself to help you through life." "I'd do anything for him." "I know that. Believe me, I know that. Your grandmother and I can see the dedication and love you have for each other." I breathed in deeply and exhaled. Our food came. We waited until the waitress left. "Josh, what's on your list of who you are?" "Me?" I thought. "Younger brother, grandson, boyfriend," I sighed and thought, "friend, student, swimmer." "That's what I would have thought. Do you think it's time to stop being younger brother and just be brother?" I stared at him. "Be his equal, which means, take from him what he has to give and give to him what he needs from you." "I think that's what we do." "David puts more importance in making you the best swimmer possible than him beating you in a race. I think you think the coach asked David to coach you in order to piss you off, to get on your nerves, to ride you, so that you'd take that and be a better swimmer. And you in turn say, fuck you." I felt my ears burning. He was right. "I think your coach has David coaching you so that you and he can feel like this is something you've both accomplished. He sees what I see. Two boys who have a lot of love and respect for each other. I think he thought if David were part of this with you, it would be something you might not resist. So that if you ever, and I'm not sure that will happen, but if you ever do beat him in a race, you can both take pride in your accomplishment. But you are being too stubborn to open yourself to what David loves most Ð giving you what he has to give. Josh, stop fighting him. Let him enjoy giving you what he has Ð knowledge and skill." I nodded. "Are you listening or are you just being kind to your old grandfather?" "I wouldn't do that to you. I understand what you're saying." We ate our breakfast. He talked about Aaron. "I like that boy. He's smart and I can see why you find him attractive. He's handsome. My concern is that you can be a handful," he chuckled. I smiled. He said, "Can he hold his own." "Yeah. He has his way of dealing with me. Mostly he doesn't take me seriously. I guess like David. Then we talk it out." "Sounds like what you're grandmother would say she does with me." We glanced at each other. "You and I are more alike than you think. When I see you, I see me when I was a young man. That hard crusty stuff is a thin layer over a soft loving core and you're afraid to get hurt and abandoned. You know I lost my father to cancer when I was a young boy." I nodded. "It was hard for me Ð growing up without a father. I took on this crusty, fuck you, I hate you kind of attitude to protect myself from anyone ever leaving me again." "I'm sorry about you losing your dad." "Thank you. But your grandmother saw through all of that. I see through it in you. You're brother sees through it. It sounds like Aaron sees through it." I sighed. "I don't know why but this all scares me. I feel like I'd be hurting him." Tears. "I can't imagine hurting him." "And what I'm saying is that he'd be more than proud on that day." I nodded. We talked about their RV vacation. "Your grandmother loves taking off and meeting up with friends. This time we're meeting some of my old buddies from the Marine Corp." "Really? Cool." When we got back to my apartment, my grandmother was sitting on our sofa knitting. "I looked around here," she said. "You don't have one of my afghans." "They're all at the house." "Does David have one?" "I don't think so." Aaron said to me, "Your grandmother asked me what our colors were." "Colors? We have colors?" My grandmother said, "Don't be a smart ass. What colors do you like?" "Ah, I don't know. I mean I wear a lot of red and black and grey. I wear grey and blue or green." She got up. "Take me to a store where I can get yarn." I laughed. "Ah, Grandma, like I'd know where you can get yarn." She sighed. I said, "Can you get it at Walgreens?" She started at me. "Walgreens? Yarn at Walgreens?" She sighed. She said to Aaron. "Get on your computer and find a yarn store near here." To me she said, "Call your brother. Find out when he and Tina will be ready to go to lunch with us and tell him they're coming to pick out yarn for their afghan." I looked at my grandfather. He rolled his eyes. I said, "Yes, Ma'am." Tina and David followed Aaron, my grandparents and me to the yarn store. She found a book of knitting patterns for afghans. David and Tina picked one out. Then I picked out a pattern, but she wouldn't let me pick out the colors. She kept saying, "Red, red for an afghan." I just laughed. Aaron mostly let her pick out the colors and he just agreed. "They'll be ready by Christmas," she said. My grandfather was a reader. My grandmother was a knitter. She watched TV and knitted. It was like her hands just knit even though she'd be watching TV. She was on autopilot. We had lunch and then went back to my apartment. My grandmother took out her knitting books, yarn and needles. My granddad sat with Aaron and me and showed us their itinerary. That night as we were undressing and getting ready for bed, Aaron asked about what our breakfast conversation was about. I told him, "He wants me to stop fighting with David about the butterfly." "What did you say?" I stared at him. "That' I'd stop being a jerk about it." He smiled. "I guess I'll have to call your granddad once in a while." I laughed. "I hate you." He rolled around on the bed and laughed. "David told me what that means." "It means I hate you." He laughed. I started poking him in the side. He pushed my hands away and stepped out of his underwear. "Its code for I love you but you're pissing me off." "Yeah, well now I really hate you." He laughed. I jumped on him, got him into a headlock and started tickling him. He pleaded with me to stop. I thought about all the times that David would do this to me. "Please stop. Please. I'll do anything." I kept tickling him. "I promise anything." "You're my slave." "Yes." "Say it." "You're Roman Centurion Joshua Marcus Aurelius." "And you are?" "Your slave." "I want to watch you stand up and jerk off," I said. He laughed and nodded. "Then I want you to lube your ass, lie on your stomach and ask me to fuck you." He laughed. "Okay." "Okay?" "Yes, sir," "Sir?" "Yes, Centurion Joshua Marcus Aurelius." I let go of him. "Do I have to stand?" I jumped toward him. "Okay, okay," he said laughing. "But where do I come. I mean where will the cum go." I started moving. "I'll figure it out," he said laughing. "God, you're such a dick," he mumbled and smiled. I lay back and smiled. "Show time." I lay on our bed. He stood before me and began stroking his dick. As his cock went from flaccid to erect, so did mine. "Move around," I said. "This always feels weird," he said. "Your dick seems to be enjoying it." "Your dick seems to enjoy it too." "I love watching you. You've got a fantastic body." "Shut up." "Turn around and let me see your ass." He smiled and shook his head as he turned. "Like I said, fantastic." He turned back around. "Great abs, great pecs, nice shoulders and," "Shut up or I'll never come." "And I love those low hangers," I said and laughed. He masturbated and moved. "You love being my slave, don't you?" He smiled and kept masturbating. "I want you to work up a huge load for me. Do you hear me slave?" "Yes, Centurion," he said smiling. "Tell me when you're getting close." "Why?" I started moving toward him. He laughed. "Okay." This was a game that started during this year of our relationship. One of us would start bossing the other around, or tickling the other, or bargain over something the other asked for Ð okay, I'll do that for you, BUT you have to be my slave, etc. It always led to what we called `animal sex', which was different from making love. Most of what we did was `making love'. But we enjoyed this type of play a lot and I loved being able to look at him during sex. The lights were always on. "I'm getting close," he said. "Finally," I said, moving toward him. "Shut up, you love watching." I knelt down in front of him. "You're right I do." As he masturbated I licked his cock head and put my lips over it. "Oh fuck, Josh." He put one hand on my head, pressed his cock head over my tongue and lips as he masturbated. "I'm going to come," he moaned. I opened my mouth. He thrust forward and shot his load and it was a large load. He, like me, shoots a lot of cum and he, like me, isn't a dribbler. So, shot after shot slashed against the inside of my mouth and the back of my throat. I swallowed twice. I stood and took him in my arms and then we both fell onto the bed. I held him. I felt him relax in my arms. "I love you so much, Josh." "You're going to love me even more in a minute. Get on your stomach." He chuckled as he moved. "You're such butt." He put a pillow under his hips as I lubed his hole. I pressed into him and lay on top of him. He chuckled, "You're right. I love you even more now." I bit his shoulder. He laughed. We kissed. He said, "Fuck me hard and take your time." I began to thrust. "Always giving orders." He gave me that look that says, `seriously I love you'. I kissed him and said, "I love you too." This wasn't our `making love' position. Our making love position was any position that put us face-to-face. `Animal positions' were like this, front to back. Often this happened when we'd start grabbing at each other while cooking dinner or watching TV, or while studying. One of us would take control, push the other over the counter, sofa or table and fuck the other. Aaron's favorite was lying down on his stomach and me `pounding his ass'. My favorite was standing up and being bent over the counter, or sofa or table. I fucked him long and hard. He moaned and groaned and we kissed. When I was close, I grabbed a handful of his hair and turned his head, exposing his neck and bit down. "Oh yeah, Josh, oh yeah." I dug my toes into the mattress and came. I pulled out. He rolled over, put his arms and legs around me, and held me. He knew me well and he knew what I needed after coming is to be held. We headed to the shower and did what we both loved Ð soaped each other's body. "So, you think you can let David coach you and you not get pissed off?" I sighed. "I guess if I think of it like my granddad said. This is something we're doing together." I sighed. "I'm not really pissed at him. I just wish the coach could have waited a year." "But then David wouldn't be able to help you." "I know." "I think you're granddad is right. I don't believe for one minute that David cares one way or another. But I do believe if he coached you and then you did better, he'd be ecstatic." "Ecstatic?" "You know, elated, joyful, euphoric." I grabbed his nuts and squeezed. He laughed. I said, "I know what ecstatic means." "I know. I know. I just love it when you grab my balls." "I guess if you look at it that way, I guess he'd be happy." He mouthed the word ecstatic. I grabbed his balls. He smiled. "Then look at it that way." We had a great time with my grandparents. I was surprised to see that my grandmother had started each of our afghans. She said the hard part was setting the patterns. Now it was just doing the work. They left after breakfast on Sunday morning. David and Tina, Aaron and I went to a movie and then had dinner at David's apartment. Monday morning in the pool, I said to David, "I guess if we're going to do this, we shouldn't fight." He smiled. "I wasn't fighting." I stared at him. "I agree. Perhaps I can lighten up a bit." "I want to learn and I want to learn from you. But let's do it as brother's not you being my coach." "That's fair. And I love you too." I smiled. "Shut up." We settled into a `coaching/workout' routine and got along fine. Aaron wasn't able to join David and me in the weight room. He did have class. But Tina, who worked out with weights, David, Aaron and I got together twice a week during the evenings and worked out with weights. I did enjoy working out with Aaron and it was especially fun with Tina there. She enjoyed teasing Aaron. He was easy to blush and it seemed she set a goal to see him blush at least once each time we got together. And Aaron was a great sport about it. Often he'd fire back trying to get her, but she'd turn it around on him and we'd all laugh. Sarah had called David and had called me during the summer. David asked her to visit, but that didn't happen. In September classes started. This being our sophomore year, we still had classes to take outside our majors. So again, Aaron and I worked it out so that we had two classes together. That really helped me a great deal since I would now be traveling with the swim team and we traveled on Fridays. As the coach said, I was going to be swimming the backstroke and the butterfly and freestyle in the relay. My goal was to start taking first places in the backstroke, second or third place in the butterfly. The coach put me on a relay team with three juniors. The team that David was on was made up of all seniors. They were the best of our best and I was happy not to be on that team. Too much pressure. They were to take first place. We would be more than happy with a second each week and satisfied with a third place against our opponents' best team. Our first meet was against a tough team and David thought he had his work cut out for him against their team in the butterfly. I was going to be more than happy with a third place. The coach had David swim the 100 freestyle. He took first place. The year before I swam the 200 meter backstroke, but this year he gave me the 50. I took a first and I was more than happy with that. There was time for David and me to talk before the 200 butterfly. "You okay?" he said. "Yeah. Nervous. I want to take a third. But I guess a fourth against them would be okay." "Stop it. Their guy is good, but he's not all that. And you're ready." As far as nerves go, that didn't help. I knew Aaron and Tina and Connor were in the bleachers. Connor was still living in the dorms, but we ran into each other and Aaron and I had invited him to dinner at our apartment. He told us that his work with his counselor had help him to understand that his sexuality was something he was born with and that he had started to believe he deserved to be happy. However, he said, looking grim, "I'm still a coward. I couldn't tell my parents." Aaron and I talked to him at length about the coming out process, something that Aaron had written a paper on in our psychology class. He gave Connor a copy. Since then we had seen a lot more of Connor. When they called the 200 butterfly I felt like I was going to vomit. When the buzzer went off and I hit the water, I gave myself over to the voice in my head Ð David's voice. It always takes me one length of the pool to break into `the zone' but I was there as soon as I started my stroke. I went into my happy place and my body just did what it was trained to do. There is something about breaking out of that last turn. The crowd noise goes up and suddenly there is that last burst of energy Ð hopefully. `Leave nothing behind', David would say. `Even if you feel you're done, pull what you've got left'. When the race was over, I did my thing. I swam to the guys next to me and said nice race. I pulled myself out of the pool and walked off. I saw David waiting. "How'd you do?" I asked, breathing hard. He shook his head. "Look at the board," he said sounding frustrated. I looked up. He took a first place. I took second. I stared. "Did he get disqualified?" David hip bumped me as we walked away. "No, he didn't get disqualified. You beat his ass." I turned and looked back at the board. I beat their best butterfly swimmer by three tenths of a second. "Wow," I said. "You must have had a good coach," David said. I nodded. I made eye contact with the coach. He nodded. I sat with David. I looked at him. I said, "Thank you. I know I can be a real shit sometimes." "Just be you. That's all I ask. I can deal with you being you." I nodded and felt like I could cry. Growing up, being me was always the problem. Except with David. I sighed. "I love you." "I've never doubted that." The seniors, David's team, won the 4 x 50 medley relay. We took third, but the team won the meet. We were all happy. As I was getting dressed, after my shower, the coach called to me. "When you're dressed." I walked into his office. "You did well. I'm very happy with how you did." "And," I said smiling. He chuckled. "Don't slack off. I'm keeping you in the butterfly, but I might need you next week in the 100 backstroke." "I can handle that." He nodded. "Have a good weekend. See you Monday." It's such an odd feeling to walk out of the swim center and have people waiting. Of course Aaron and Tina were waiting. And Connor was there also. But there were also guys from the dorm floor from last year who had come to the meet. Matt's parents and grandparents were there. David and I spent time talking to them. Grandma Patrona said, "I love coming to these things. You boys look so sexy in those bikinis." I laughed. "Bikinis," I whispered to Matt. Matt rolled his eyes. David said, "If we didn't wear them no one would come to see us swim." Grandma said, "I noticed you right away. Nice," she said and glance down at his package. David blushed. We laughed. Matt complained. Several of the guys on the team and their girl/boyfriends went out to dinner to celebrate. Then we went to a club, a dance club for straight and gay couples. Aaron and I had talked about going out dancing, but as of yet we hadn't. I wondered if it would be all straight couples and one or two gay couples but it seemed evenly divided. We had a great time. It was fun to watch David let loose on the dance floor. He didn't have what I called the `dancing gene'. A gene that I've always had. Aaron and I dance beside David and Tina and Matt and Phil. I kept glancing at David and laughing. He kept giving me the finger. We all laughed and had a great time. Tina and I danced. Aaron and David danced. Team workouts continued, but David and I put in additional time in the pool. He was still coaching me. Our team was doing well and I was enjoying our meets. I still got nervous before each race, but I was enjoying the team camaraderie. The upcoming week we had an away meet. I had never traveled with the team before. We were flying Thursday later afternoon, spending the night in a hotel and competing on Friday. Then we would fly home after the meet. I sat with David and Matt on the plane. But on the bus from the airport to the hotel, I sat, or I should say, Jared made sure he sat with me. "Hey, how about we hook up later tonight," he said. I felt my face tingle. "Ah, I want to get a good night sleep. The pressure is on." "We can share a room. You know," he whispered and smiled, "release some of that pressure." "I'm in a relationship." "So am I." "Well, we're keeping it exclusive." "Yeah, me and my girlfriend are exclusive too. So, I won't tell if you won't." I felt embarrassed about saying no, but I did - over and over again. He tried guilt tripping me by saying that I knew he was exclusive with his girlfriend last year when we fucked but I didn't have a problem with that. I started getting angry. "If you want to fuck around on your girlfriend," I said, "that's your business, not mine. Besides, Matt has an open relationship. I'm sure he'd be more than happy to hook up." "He's a bottom. I can fuck my girlfriend if I want to stick my dick up someone's hole." "Well, I'm sorry." "Well, you'll probably be like Matt and Phil eventually. So when you are, just let me know." I got my room key. The coach put me with David. I guess that made complete sense, but I hadn't thought much about it before hand. Jared and Matt were sharing a room. Once in our room, I told David about what Jared said. "He's an ass. I mean I get the bisexual thing completely but where's the integrity in cheating on her." He put his hand to my neck and pulled me toward him and kissed me on the cheek. "I know that's not easy. I'm proud of you." I shrugged. "I'd feel so guilty and I know it would be all over my face when I got back. And I wouldn't want to hurt Aaron. Besides, you and I haven't gotten to spend time alone in a long time." We had dinner with the guys, hung out and then headed for bed. Lying naked in his bed, David said, "I want you to do your best tomorrow." Lying naked in my bed, I said, "I always do my best." "You know what I mean." "Yeah." I was sure I'd get seconds in both the backstroke and the butterfly if I did really well. There was a possibility that I'd only get third place. David said almost angrily when I told him what I thought would happen, "Yeah, maybe a third in the butterfly. Maybe. But fuck that shit about a third in the backstroke. You're better than their best." "He's a senior." "What's with this senior shit?" He looked toward my bed. "Can we share a bed while we talk. I mean," I got up. He lifted the sheets. I said, "I can behave if you can." He chuckled. "Josh, you've been swimming for over twelve years. You probably have four years on him." Fuck, I thought, pressure. How I hate pressure. He said, "Let me tell you something. He knows you're his competition. You better know that you're his. Third? Seriously." "Can we not talk about tomorrow? I won't sleep." He was lying on his side facing me. I was lying on my back beside him. "How are things with Aaron? You guys, especially you, seem happy." "I am happy. I mean it's only a little over four months, but it's like it's been for years. Except now we're having sex." I chuckled and glanced at him. "A lot of sex." He chuckled. "I have no doubt he can keep up with you." "I have a hard time keeping up with him." We chuckled. He said, "He's good for you. You seem much more grounded and happy." "It's weird," I said, "but the whole thing about knowing each other for so long makes it so comfortable." "He lets you be a brat." I laughed. "Yeah, I guess." Silence. "He and Tina really get along." I looked at David. "Aaron really likes her. I mean so do I, but I think they confide in each other." "You mean he gets advice about how to deal with you." I smiled. He put his arm over my chest. I put my hand on his arm. He said, "I'm going to tell you something that you cannot tell anyone. No one, not even Aaron." I looked at him. "Is this bad?" "No. I'm thinking about asking Tina to marry me." "Really? Wow. Cool." "I might do it over Christmas. I'm not sure about how to do it though." "Don't you just get on your knee and ask her." "Well, I think you're supposed to ask her parents, or tell them that you're going to ask her or something. But I don't know. And I want to see Grandma and Granddad over Christmas. But she'll want to spend time with her parents. Maybe I shouldn't do it over Christmas. I don't know." "Wow, you getting married. That's cool. Someday I'll be an uncle. I'll be a good uncle." "I'm sure you will." "You could ask Granddad. Ask him how you're supposed to do it. He'll know. You have to buy a ring. Do you have money?" "Yeah, I've been saving." "I have about twelve hundred saved from the summer and money Granddad gave me. I need some for Christmas presents, but you can have the rest. You've got to get her a really nice ring." "Thank you but I'll manage." "You know you could do something you and Tina spend Christmas Eve with one family and then Christmas Day with the other. They're only like a two hour drive from each other." "Yeah, that's a good idea." "Then I'll get to see you too. When do you think you'd get married?" "Not for a while. I want to get my masters degree and then a job. But we'd live together next year while I'm getting my masters." I turned my head to face him. "I'm going to be your best man, right?" I said looked at him. He smiled. "My best best man." He leaned toward me and kissed me. He said, "I love you." "I love you too." He sighed. "You'd better go to your own bed before I misbehave." I smiled and said, "Okay." I went to my bed. Silence. David said, "I asked the coach to put us together. Jared had asked him to room you two together, but I told him I wanted to room with you. We can do this when we travel or you can room with other guys." "No. I like this. But no more talk about the races the next day." Before my race, I went to the bathroom and sat on the toilet. I wasn't the only one in there. I decided I wasn't going to have diarrhea or throw up. I walked back out to the pool. David came up to me and said, "You okay?" "Yeah, I guess." "Again, sorry, about last night, but you've got to get in the right head space. You can beat this guy." I nodded. They called my race. You've got this. This is your race. I jumped in the pool, grabbed the bar and braced myself. Your body knows what to do. Just don't think about it. The buzzer went off and I kicked off. I found that headspace I like getting into before I got to the first turn. My body was in charge. I was there for the ride. This is what all that practice was about Ð body memory. I pressed myself. Don't leave anything behind, I kept telling myself. Before the race I worried that if I pushed myself I might not have enough for later. But I knew that was all bullshit. I swim for hours and then kick ass. The race was over. I felt good but worried. I thought that if I had given it everything I had, I should have been feeling it. But I felt like I could have swum another 100 meters. I lifted myself out of the pool and walked away. David was smiling. A couple of guys from the other team said, "good race," as they walked away. I looked at David and put up two fingers in front of my junk, meaning second. He gave me the middle finger and smiled. I glanced at the board. Fuck, I thought staring. I took a first place. "Seriously," I said to David. "Did he disqualify?" "Oh my God," he said and slapped me on the back of my head. I smiled. I was up after that. When I was waiting for the buzzer for the butterfly, I was a lot less nervous. Second or third, I reasoned and I'm good with the coach. David took a first and I took a second. It felt great to see our names on the board. The other team referred to us as `the brothers'. I swam freestyle in the medley relay with the juniors. David's team was all seniors. They took first place, the other team took second and we took third. We won the meet. Flying home, I again sat with David. But this time we sat with Eric also. I sat in the middle. Eric said, "I've thought about being with both of you, but it's with me in the middle." I didn't get it right away, but David did. He said, "Sorry, my girlfriend would cut my nuts off." I said, "In the middle. Oh, I get it." They both stared at me and shook their heads. Eric said, "I hear you have one cute ass boyfriend." I smiled. As we got back to UX, I text messaged Aaron. When the bus pulled up, he and Tina were waiting in Aaron's car. David and I got in. Aaron and I kissed. Tina and David kissed. Aaron said, "You guys did great." He looked at me and said, "You happy?" "Yes." We went and had tacos for dinner. It was great spending alone time with David but I was happy to have Aaron sitting beside me again. He dropped David and Tina off at David's apartment. Driving to our apartment, he said, "I've stocked up. If we want, we can stay in the whole weekend." "Sure," I said. "But Sunday dinner." "Yeah, sure, we'll have dinner with them. How about a naked weekend?" I chuckled. "What brought this on?" He said, "I really missed you last night. It's the first night I slept alone since I talked you into being my boyfriend." I chuckled. "Like you could talk me into anything." "Like anyone can talk you into anything." I gave him the finger. I said, "We have an exam on Wednesday that I really have to study for and a paper I have to start this weekend." "I organized everything. Do you have what you need for your paper?" "Yes." "I won't bother you while you study," he said smiling. "Okay. A naked stay-in weekend." I looked at him and wondered if I should tell him about Jared and that I turned him down. I decided against it. "How about this?" I said. "We'll skip studying tonight, but I have to hit the books tomorrow and Sunday." He smiled and nodded. I said, "I roomed with David last night." He glanced at me. "Cool that you guys got to spend time together like before." "Yeah. It was nice." I looked at him and said, "He was in his bed and I was in mine and well, I don't know about him, but I thought about jerking off to, you know, to help fall asleep." He looked at me. "But then I wondered if it would bother you. I mean I'd tell you. No secrets, right?" "You guys have been jerking off together forever." I nodded. "Since I knew what jerking off was. As a matter-of-fact he taught me how." "I kinda figured that since the three of us jerked off together last summer." "Would you have been upset?" "No, not at all. Really, promise. I mean if it was with someone else it would bother me. But not with David. Maybe if someday the three of us spend time together, like go camping of something." I smiled. "Sure. That would be cool." He glanced at me. "I jerked off twice last night trying to go to sleep, but I still had trouble." I smiled. "You won't tonight." He smiled. I hope this one had less typos.. UGH JoshRJosh@yahoo.com