Date: Fri, 17 Sep 2010 14:33:47 +0100 From: Otto Tannenbaum Subject: A DAD'S DILEMMA PART TWO First of all I want to thank all you for replyin' to my post. I got an incredible response an' a lot of good, sound advice was offered up for which I'm truly grateful. I'm sorry I haven't been able to reply to all of you individually but I hope to get round to it eventually. I really appreciate you takin' the time an' trouble to respond an' all the good advice I got from everyone. I felt humbled hearin' about the similar experiences all you dads out there seem to have had, the regrets an' remorse that you never got to do somethin' special with your own sons before they left home, and your encouragin' words that I should trust my feelings an' just do what feels right. I particularly want to thank Karl, a dairy farmer who emailed me from Wisconsin an' told me he only plucked up the courage to share a bed with his two sons the first time the night before the eldest one got married – the groom, his brother the best man, an' the groom's father all naked in the same bed together. Only thing any of 'em regretted, he said, was all three of 'em were drunk the first time they did it, so soon as his eldest was back from honeymoon the three of 'em repeated the experience – only sober this time. "...wish I'd done it earlier, Otto, and I can only urge you to do the same as I did," he wrote. "Gettin' naked with my boys an' showin' 'em how much I love 'em is somethin' I'll never get tired of doin'. And don't be afraid to take the initiative – if you feel like kissin' your Kenny, well then kiss him. I do it with my boys all the time now an' they love me even more for it." Still, he tells me they're more than makin' up for lost time an' get together at least a couple of times a month now. Karl tells me they even play with toys when they're in bed – helps strengthen the bonds, he says. But the best place they've found to strip off besides the big comfortable family bed, he writes, is on a blanket up in the hayloft - either that or skinny-dippin' in the river that runs through their property. I guess you got to be from farmin' stock really to appreciate that! An' Karl, I appreciate the offer an' the attachment you sent with your email containin' a picture of you an' your sons in the hayloft together. You make for a very handsome family an', yes, I could see you were all very excited by my story, but I'd be careful about sendin' pictures of you an' your boys with hard-ons over the internet – people might get the wrong idea about what goes on out there in the mid-West when you've finished farmin' for the day. But I can see they grow 'em big out there and sure, next time I find myself over Wisconsin-way I'll be sure an' look you up. Seems my post really struck a chord 'cause I received emails from all over from fathers who expressed their regret they hadn't been able to spend some quality time with their offspring the way me an' Karl (an' more than a few other fathers, you might be surprised to know) have. An' it's not just fathers either. The number of young guys, college kids mostly away from home for the first time in their lives, who say they wish they had a dad like me to tuck 'em in at night. Brad, I want you to know your email really tugged at my heartstrings. I'm glad you finally found a substitute for your dad's lovin' in the form of your college football coach. It must've been hard growin' up in a single parent family all those years, not knowin' who your father was. I know how easy it is for a young guy without a decent male role model in his life to go off the rails, so you've done a good job stayin' focused on your dream of playin' college football without a father bein' around to guide you. I wouldn't worry too much about the counselin' you're undergoin'. By the same token it was good your coach felt comfortable enough to open up in front of you durin' one of the group counselin' sessions you're attendin' an' tell everyone about him and his wife's difficulties conceivin' - it must've been hard for him. Your coach sounds like a thoroughly decent guy an' I'm sure the father/son role play the counselor's havin' you act out together is really gonna help the two of you come to terms with bein' deprived of the one thing each of you've craved over the years. No, I never had to seriously discipline Kenny for anythin' but I don't see anythin' wrong with a father spankin' his son if he feels it's really necessary. My dad used to spank me an' it never did me any harm – in fact it made me the man I am today an' I don't have any regrets about that. I'm not sure you should let the counselor video the two of you while Coach spanks you though Brad – even if it is for research purposes an' in the privacy of the counselor's office and he's present. It could be misinterpreted – especially as you say the three of you are naked when Coach Korngold's meting out the corporal punishment. But just as long as he keeps givin' you hugs along with the hand hits you should be OK. All I can say is you're a very lucky young man to have found two men with such impeccable reputations who are willin' to be a father figure to you. Unfortunately, as if I wasn't already aware, there're also a lot of sick people out there who suggested not only was there nothin' wrong with me sleepin' naked in the same bed as my son, but they didn't see anythin' wrong if the two of us actually had sex together – their argument bein' we're both adults an' were clearly both turned on by the experience of sharin' a bed together so we should just do it an' get it over with. What they rather conveniently chose to forget is that I'm Kenny's dad an' as a law enforcement officer in this town I command a certain amount of respect from my men an' those I serve. How do you expect me to hold my head up an' look people in the eyes in town knowin' I've done broken the law by enjoyin' carnal knowledge with my son? Now, I don't have an opinion one way or the other about homosexuality or those who practice it. I'm willin' to hold my hands up an' admit that I fooled around with a buddy when I was about Kenny's age an' it didn't do me any harm. It was tantamount to nothin' more than a bit of teenage tomfoolery an' not anythin' to get hot under the collar about - just a couple of horny football-playin' jocks who were happy to help each other out when times were lean. Besides, we both had girlfriends at the time – I was already datin' Betty an' Greg also had a girl waitin' for him back home. We both took our relationships with our girlfriends seriously so we never went out chasin' pussy like the other guys an' we were open with one another about the fact we both got relief by strokin' our dicks. But one day Greg came out an' asked, "You wanna beat off with me? Only, it's gettin' borin' doin' it on my own an' I hear it's better with a buddy." "Hell, I don't know, Greg," I told him, a little shocked he even asked me the question. I'd seen him naked tons a times in the locker-room an' around the house we shared so I wasn't bothered about that aspect of it. But I considered beatin' off an' everythin' that goes with it to be a private matter. Still, I couldn't help agreein' with Greg that jerkin' off alone was pretty frustratin'. "So, you'll do it?" he asked beamin' broadly. "I don't know, Greg," I said. "Well, I don't know 'bout you, good buddy, but I'm horny as hell an' I'm gonna bust a nut if I don't take care of business real soon. I'm gonna leave the door open so if you feel like joinin' me just come on in." With that Greg headed off to his room. A short while later I heard Greg moanin' an' groanin' quietly an' the temptation to go take a look at what he was doin' to make himself feel that good was too much to ignore. True to his word Greg left the door to his room slightly open an' I gently nudged it even further open with my toe. Greg was layin' stretched out on his bed naked as a newborn, with his big dick in one hand an' tuggin' on his balls with the other. After a couple minutes of me just standin' there watchin' him Greg became aware of my presence. "You can watch if you want...or you can come in an' join me – the offer's still open," he said smilin' his big toothy grin at me. Greg looked like he was havin' a whole heap a fun, an' it seemed like too good an opportunity to pass up – if I refused him a second time I doubted Greg'd ask me again. So, pullin' my tee shirt over my head I walked over to the bed. "Move over," I told 'im an' unbuttoned my jeans an' pushed 'em down past my knees. I stepped out of 'em pullin' my socks off at the same time an' got on the bed beside my buddy. Raisin' my ass of the mattress I removed my shorts. Now I was as naked as Greg – an' as hard. Our shoulders were touchin' an' when Greg threw his right leg over my left one I didn't object. The first few times me an' Greg beat off together was awesome but it got even more awesome when one time he just reached over an' grabbed my dick an' did the job for me. Let me tell you, when I came it was the most intense orgasm I ever had. Greg just didn't know when to stop strokin' an' cum flew everywhere an' in all directions – but most of it ended up over either me or him. Greg didn't seem to mind he had my cum on his chest an' face. When it was my turn to do Greg I wanted to make him feel as good as he made me feel. It was incredible takin' another guy's stiff dick in my hand for the first time. Greg wasn't as big as me but he was still more than a handful. I couldn't get myself comfortable on the bed beside Greg while strokin' his dick so I got up an' moved to the middle of the bed an' propped myself up on the pillows against the headboard. I spread my legs an' Greg sat down between 'em an' leaned back against my body. With my chin on his right shoulder I set about the matter in hand – gettin' Greg off. It was a bona fide white knuckle ride for both of us. Greg slid his hands under my thighs when he got near and squeezed 'em as he urged me on. My right hand was wrapped around Greg's dick an' my left I brought up an' around him to work his right nipple over - somethin' I like to do when I'm beatin' off by myself. I just hoped Greg'd like it too. I pinched an' pulled, twisted an' tweaked on his fat nipple an' Greg started writhin' about between my legs pushin' back against me. Greg must've had rocket fuel in his balls 'cause when he came his cum almost shot high enough to touch the ceilin'. "Aw yeah, aw fuck, buddy, don't stop!" Greg screamed out an' I was so worried the people in the next house might hear us I stopped pinchin' his nipple an' turned his head toward me an' put my mouth on his to stifle his moans. I could see Greg was shocked but it was the only way I could think to shut 'im up. It wasn't even a kiss at first, just my mouth on his, a way of stoppin' Greg from alertin' the whole neighborhood that he an' I were doin' stuff together. But then our lips seemed to separate an' our tongues entwined like a couple a oiled up wrestlers. From then on neither Greg nor me ever beat off alone again. We even went so far as to satisfy our curiosity about what it might be like to suck cock. Greg took to it like a duck to water but I needed a lot more practice. I soon got the hang of it though an' it wasn't long before I was deep-throatin' Greg's eight inches as expertly as he was neckin' my ten inch dick. We never did any real nasty stuff together though – no actual fuckin', just suckin' – not then, anyway. I mean, even if you've never done it with another guy you don't have to try too hard to imagine just what a nasty business two men goin' at it with each other must be like. All that gruntin' an' sweatin' an' cussin' that goes along with takin' another man's dick up your ass – not to mention the pain. Not like when a man an' a woman are makin' love – now that's somethin' beautiful. Me an' Greg stayed friends right up until the time I married Betty. In fact, I asked him to be best man at my weddin' a year after graduatin'. I wasn't sure if he do it 'cause he'd just broken up with his girl an' was in a state over it, but he flew in from the west coast where he was livin' now. "Otto, it's my duty as your friend an' best man to ask if you're 100% happy about marryin' Betty," he told me on the mornin' I was due to tie the knot. "Only, if you're havin' second thoughts it's not too late to back out if you're not sure you're doin' the right thing." It was midday an' we had an hour to go until I jumped the broomstick with Betty an' we were takin' a shower together at the time. We'd been up since seven and foolishly I'd agreed to have one final fling with Greg for ol' times' sake before gettin' dressed in our suits an' headin' off to church. We'd spent the previous night and most of the mornin' in bed suckin' each other's dicks but Greg was bein' a real bastard an' wouldn't let me fire off my load after he spent all mornin' slurpin' on my balls an' swalllowin' my dick down his throat, tellin' me I had to say it for my wife. "Today's a special day an' I got somethin' suitable for the occasion for you," Greg said smilin' at me before rollin' onto his stomach an' reachin' over to retrieve his wallet from the small bedside locker. "Greg, I told you I didn't want you to buy us a present an' I don't want any money either. I'm just happy you're here an' you agreed to be my best man," I told him. "I'm not givin' you money, Otto, I'm givin' you somethin' you'll be able to remember while you're fuckin' your wife tonight," Greg said as he pulled out a small foil package an' passed it to me. "What's this?" I asked him. I mean, I knew what it was, I just wondered why he was givin' me a condom. "It's my present to you, Otto, I want you take my cherry," he said as he pulled me to him an' kissed me. "You want me to fuck you?" I asked in disbelief when we finished kissin'. Greg was givin' me his ass. He grinned an' put his hands behind his head on the pillow exposin' his still-wet-with-my-spit armpits to me. "Call it gettin' some practice in for tonight," Greg chuckled. I'm not gonna pretend I never thought about the two of us takin' things further an' fuckin' Greg in the ass – or even him givin' it to me in the ass – all those times we were gettin' off together, but I seriously didn't think Greg had any interest in anal sex. I didn't say anythin' I just leaned in to him an' kissed 'im again. "I love you man," I said not realizin' what kind of trouble those four little words along with the kiss would get me into, an' how soon. "Do we really need this?" I asked holdin' up the condom. Greg took it an' tossed it away an' I rolled on top a him an' kissed 'im as he pulled his legs up an' crossed his ankles round my back. "I told you, it's my first time," he said. "Mine too," I confided. I was pleased Greg trusted me enough to let me fuck 'im. I wouldn't have done it with any other guy. I hadn't fucked anyone the whole time I was datin' Betty. She asked me if I'd wait until we were married an' I agreed 'cause I was so in love with her. So the sole extent of my sexual experiences had been with Greg. "Betty's still not been puttin' out?" he asked laughin'. Then he kissed me for bein' so honest. "No wonder you're so fuckin' horny, man." I was right about all the gruntin' an' sweatin' an' cussin' that's part an' parcel when two men fuck. Greg an' me sweated buckets the whole time I was fuckin' 'im. Greg wasn't one to cuss without good reason an' I rarely heard him swear, but as soon as my big dick broke past his tight little hairy hole he let loose with all kinds of language – cursin' me out an' twistin' the sheets in his fists an' poundin' the mattress with 'em. "Want me to stop?" I asked Greg when the head of my dick was finally inside him concerned it might be too much for him to take seein' as how this was his first time. "Fuck no!" Greg screamed. "Feels too fuckin' good to stop. I want you to fuck me, buddy. An' fuck me hard!" Once I was all the way in I did as Greg requested an' gave him a fuck he'd remember for a long time. We did it in just about every position you can imagine: doggy style, standin', on our sides on the bed, sittin' in the chair with Greg slidin' up an' down my greasy pole. You name it, we did it. Finally I couldn't hold out any longer an' I gave Greg due warnin'. "I'm gonna cum, buddy," I told 'im as I reached around an' knocked his hand away an' grabbed his dick. I made sure our climaxes coincided. "Aw, yeah," Greg groaned as he felt the first scaldin' squirt coat his insides. "Aw, yeah," he repeated with every subsequent salvo. Greg came all over me, sprayin' my chest an' face with his thick seed. When we were in the shower after an' Greg asked if I was sure about marryin' Betty I didn't think too much of it at first. I told him I was never more sure about gettin' hitched to Betty who as far as I was concerned was the girl of my dreams. But then Greg said the damndest thing. He spun me round from soapin' my dick for me an' looked me straight in the eyes an' said: "She's not good enough for you, Otto. Marryin' Betty'll be the biggest mistake you ever make an' you'll live to regret it. If you want I'm willin' to go to the church an' tell everyone the wedding's off. I love you Otto an' I'm prepared to take the flak for you, buddy, if you'll agree to come back with me." Greg finished sayin' his piece an' I just stood there lookin' at him, not sure if I heard right. He might live in San Francisco but Greg wasn't queer – an' I sure as hell knew I wasn't. He was a 240# fur ball of a fire-fighter for chrissakes an' whoever heard of a gay fire-fighter. Yet he was tellin' me he loved me an' he wanted us to have a life together if I'd leave Betty at the altar an' run away with him. I couldn't believe it. I'd just fucked Greg's ass an' he decided now's as good a time as any to drop the bombshell an' tell me he's queer an' crazy in love with me. My dick went from hard to soft in seconds flat. "You're crazy, Greg," I told 'im. "You're upset 'cause you just broke up with your girl an' you're all confused about your feelings." Greg shook his head. "Not any more, I'm not. I love you, Otto," he said simply, his head bowed as the water sprayed over our hard bodies. "I knew it the first time I set eyes on you an' my feelings haven't changed. You got me hook, line an' sphincter, man." Greg got down on one knee in the shower an' took hold of my hand. "Get up, Greg," I told him as it dawned on me what he was about to do. "You're makin' a damn fool of yourself." "I don't mind makin' a fool of myself – as long as I'm honest about my feelings. Please Otto – I'm beggin' you – don't do it, man." "You're wrong about Betty," I told 'im angrily before he could pop the question. "It's me who's not good enough for her an' I intend goin' ahead with this weddin' whether you like it or not." I felt as though Greg tricked me into fuckin' him an' I felt betrayed. Anyway, the rest is history as they say. I told Greg I didn't see how we could remain friends if he persisted with this gay crap, an' I married Betty. So I don't stay in contact but he still writes me on my birthday an' at Christmas. After all this time I can't help thinkin' he was almost right about Betty though. If it wasn't for Kenny I'd say marryin' her was the biggest mistake I ever made. I think once Kenny's in college I might dig out Greg's cell phone number an' give 'im a call – maybe apologize for bein' such an asshole over his sexuality an' ask if it'd be OK to meet up an' catch up on what he's been doin'. Maybe even tell 'im he was right all along. * * * * Gettin' back to the original point of writin' my story, the general consensus of opinion seems to be that I shouldn't beat myself up just because I shared a bed with my son. It was pointed out to me that both Kenny an' me are adult men – somethin' I still have a little trouble acceptin' when it comes to my son, even though he's as tall as me an' almost as big round the chest. Sometimes I look at Kenny an' wonder where the years have gone. Where's the little kid who used to love sit on my knee? Somewhere in that tall, muscular frame is the Kenny of old, but there's no denyin' Kenny's quickly becomin' a full-grown man. Others out there suggest the person I should share a bed with is my deputy, Doug. "Sounds like he's the one in need of a hug, Otto," more than a few of you wrote. Let me tell you, if I seriously thought Doug would appreciate a hug from me I'd give 'im one. Nevertheless, you guys set me thinkin'. I admit I feel somethin' like a fatherly love for the guy an' on more than one occasion when he's been talkin' to me about how married life's not all it's cracked up to be I've wanted to put my arms around him and give the guy a hug. I doubt he'd appreciate it – probably think I was puttin' the moves on him – but if there's one thing I've learned from all your emails it's not to be afraid to do what I feel in my heart. And my heart tells me Doug is in serious need of a fatherly hug, so who knows what I'll do. As a result of all your positive replies I feel like I want to give everyone I see a hug – I feel that empowered by all your kind words an' advice. But I'm still not sure about spendin' another night with my son the way we did last time. My heart says I should do it – I should go to Kenny's bed an' take 'im in my arms one more time before he goes an' tell 'im I love 'im, that I'm proud of everythin' he's achieved an' I'll always be there for him. But my head says otherwise, says at best I'm bein' a soppy ol' fool, an' at worst I'm playin' with fire an' I'll get my fingers burned 'cause I know I'll get hard – an' look what happened the last time I was naked with another man. Well, I'm goin' to have to wrap things up here for now. Bearin' in mind what happened the last time I got naked with another guy you can understand my reluctance to follow through an' spend another night with my son. I'm still in two minds about what I should do, but bein' naked with my son was as special for me as he says it was for him. I'm grateful for all the support you guys have shown over this problem an' I hope it'll resolve itself one way or another real soon. An' when it does I'll be sure to let you know what happened – if you're still interested that is. But if nothin' much happens maybe next time I'll tell you about my experiences with my own dad. You know, bein' able to tell you about my feelings an' experiences it feels like a great weight's lifted off my shoulders. I never told anyone before about me an' Greg so it's good to finally unburden myself of it. Just hope it hasn't bored you rigid if you've been waitin' for me to tell you about Kenny. Your friend Otto