Date: Mon, 8 Sep 2003 13:46:33 -0500
From: Xavyon
Subject: A Lil 'Bout Me ...&... My First Male/Male Experience

My name is Xavyon (& yes, that is my real name) & I am bisexual in the
truest sense of the word.  There are a lot of gay men that don't believe
me when I say that and maintain that I'm either denying my gayness or am
still in denial, but I really am a true down to the core bisexual.  I am
equally attracted to men as I am to women (and vice versa); I get equally
aroused by women as I do men (and vice versa); and my dick is no less
hard when I'm fuckin' a woman than when I'm fuckin' a man.  I guess it
does bother me immensely when gay brothers tell me that my bisexuality is
denial or an inability to admit I'm gay.  Why it is they can't understand
that I'm equally attracted to both sexes I'll never understand.  Anyway,
I guess I'll get off my soapbox now.

My first time with a guy is not nearly as glamorous & exciting as I've
read in other posts in this group.  There are some really hot first time
stories in our midst.  Anyway, my first time happened when I was only 16
y/o (I'm now 30 y/o).  Before this first incident I honestly never gave
any thought to other guys or realized any real attraction to other
guys...I knew when another guy looked good or didn't, but that was about
the extent of it & didn't really matter to me one way or the other.  My
sister, twin brother & I were visiting my aunt & counsins for the
summer.  We were all pretty close & were havin' a fantastic time that
summer.  Of the cousins we were staying with there 2 boys, so my sister
slept in the bedroom with my aunt, my brother slept in the room with the
older cousin (if memory serves, I think he was around 18 or 19 y/o at the
time) and I slept in the room with the younger cousin (he was 15 y/o at
the time).  I'll spare you the remaining boring details.  One night after
a particularly busy & exhausting (albeit fun) day I was really tired &
decided to sack out kinda early...tho that was about 10:30, it was still
really early compared to how late we had been staying up.  That night I
was having a particularly strong erotic dream & while I can't remember
the details of the dream I remember feeling like the dream was so real &
I could actually physically feel what was going on in my dream.  I
somehow intellectually knew that this was merely a dream, but couldn't
believe how real it felt & I was literally going out of my mind with how
good I was feeling.  At some point in the dream I came out of the dream
as I was waking up and suddenly I realized that though I was now awake &
the dream was over I was still feeling the same sensations.  I opened my
eyes and looked down to discover my cousin sucking my dick.  I went
through a myriad of emotions at that moment...I was amazed, stunned,
angry, turned-on, confused, etc., etc., etc.  But amidst all those
emotions I couldn't deny that this felt really good, so I didn't stop him
& pretended to be still asleep.  I was no virgin at this time, but my
cousin was giving me the best blow job I had ever had up to that point.
I came so hard & so strong that it literally hurt so good (if you know
what I mean).  After that I made it no secret that I knew what had just
transpired & I went immediately macho & went off on him.  I asked him why
he violated me like that & what gave him any indication that I would want
him to do that to me.  He explained that he had struggled practically
every night & fought hard to keep from bothering me, but he couldn't take
it any longer.  I made it a practice (& still do) to sleep in only my
underwear & he said that he just couldn't take it seeing me asleep in my
underwear with my dick print so evident in my drawers.  You see (and I'm
not bragging), I've always been well endowed and hiding my dick print has
always been difficult for me (I'm just not a show-off) so needless to say
it was very well pronounced in my underwear.  When I asked him why now,
he explained that it was even more difficult because I was already hard &
the head of my dick was peaking out through the top band of my
underwear...so he said he went for broke & decided to suck me off & would
just deal with whatever consequences came.  Well, I told him (despite how
good this felt to me) that I didn't appreciate him doing that to me &
that he should never do it again.

After that initial incident, feeling like my manhood had been breached
and having to prove my machismo I literally dogged my cousin out.  I beat
him up once, served him major shade & acted like I was really disgusted
with him...all basically to no avail because I kept thinking about how
good that blow job felt.  A couple of weeks after the inital dick
sucking, again he started sucking my dick while I slept...well, I wasn't
actually fully asleep.  As I was falling asleep I felt him start to rub
on my dick through my underwear, this immediately woke me up, but I
pretended to remain asleep.  I would never have admitted it to anyone at
the time but I was really hoping that he would suck me off again.  He
rubbed until he got me good & hard...I got so hard I could have chipped
diamonds with it.  I could literally feel the pre-cum on the tip of my
dick & a drip or two drop onto my stomach.  I was so fuckin' turned on &
I couldn't believe myself & didn't know how to explain it to me, but I
knew I was wanting this to happen.  Finally, he eased my underwear down
from over my dick and he started licking the length of my shaft and
around the head of my dick and tonguing the tip of my dick and into my
pee slit.  Then I went into utter ecstasy as I felt his warm mouth engulf
my dick.  I was so happy I didn't know what to do.  He sucked my dick
like a professional...I never wanted that moment to end because I loved
for my dick to feel that good.  He sucked & sucked until I started to
moan & finally I grabbed his head & pushed him down on me & began to move
rhymically with his sucking.  He couldn't quite totally deep throat me,
but he gave it the good ole college try which felt damn good to me.  I
was systematically going out of my mind.  Finally I felt my balls fill up
and I came again really hard...not as hard as the first time, but nearly
as hard.  This time I didn't get one drop of cum on me because my cousin
swallowed it all...now that drove me even crazier.  After this was over
this time, even though it was painfully clear that I was awake & totally
aware of all that just happened, I sheepishly went back to pretending I
was asleep (I know that was tired & I should have known better, but
didn't know what else to do).  My cousin went along with the game & just
rolled over & went to sleep.  Even after this I continued to give him a
hard time.

Well, about 3 or 4 nights after that I was horny again and wanted another
good dick sucking, but I didn't want to come out & ask.  So, that night I
purposely went to bed before him totally naked...that's right fellaz no
underwear to block the view.  I made sure I was good & hard by the time
he came to bed by using my thoughts, imagination & occasionally touching
and lightly rubbing my dick.  By the time he came to bed & threw back the
covers he saw me laying there naked (awake, but again pretending sleep)
he went straight for it...grabbed my dick in his hands & just started
sucking my dick for dear life.  Again, I was in heaven.  I couldn't
believe I had gone to such lengths to get a blow job from a guy (& my
cousin no less).  He sucked me 'til I got off.

After a couple more sessions like this he finally confronted me with the
fact that I was now desiring his blow jobs.  Try as I might to remain
macho & non-committal he very aptly got me to admit that I was enjoying
his mouth on my dick.  Without threatening to out me, he finally got me
to stop treating him bad & we grew to be very close that summer.  As a
matter of fact, by the end of the summer I had graduated from getting
head from him to fucking him in the ass.  I fucked him 4 times before I
went back home that summer.  He loved for me to fuck him as much as I
loved fucking him.  That was pretty much the extent of our
encounters...he would suck me & I would fuck him.  I had a really happy
dick that summer.  Many years would pass before I finally sucked dick for
the first time (and loved it...in fact I love oral sex with men &
women...& damn good at both, even if I say so myself) and to this day I
have never been fucked (almost tried it once, but I just couldn't go
through with it...I guess that just isn't for me).  I, in fact, sucked a
dick before I kissed a guy for the first time (backwards, I know) now I
love kissing guys and girls.  That one summer was the only sexual contact
I had with my cousin.  It was great but I had to remind myself that he
was family...plus he never pursued me again & I never pursued him.  We
still see each other occasionally & he's living life as a gay man & I am
bisexual.  When we see each other now we never discuss those days, but I
think we both hold fond memories of it.  He is very popular & has a great
deal of public exposure (I won't say in what arena so as to not give any
clues), but I would dare not out him & share a private portion of his
life on a public forum like this without his permission, but if I told
you who he was I believe everybody here would know who I'm talking about
(I only share that to add intrigue to my account...but it is true).

It would be several years later before I had another sexual experience
with a man...I had one incident while drunk at age 18 (but I don't count
that because I was drunk) the guy just sucked my dick...but I was 25 y/o
before I started having more consistent encounters with men & I was 28
y/o before I would finally admit to being bisexual.  I still love women &
enjoy pussy, but I can't deny that I do love men & enjoy dick & ass.
I've never had a long term relationship with a man, but am just now
coming open to having one (but still unsure if I could do that without
having a woman).  In a perfect world I would hope to find a bisexual
woman & a bisexual man & be committed to both of them...like havin' a
girlfriend & a boyfriend committed to each other & their respective
girlfriend & boyfriend committed to each other (is that too much of a far
out concept?)  Well, there's my sex life in a nut-shell...hope it wasn't
too boring & hope somebody enjoyed it.

Peace...!