A Son's Love Story
This story is a continuation of my story about my dad and me, and the love that we had together. It is also a collaboration, which is written by our son, David and me. It's taken mostly from memory that we have, as well as the journal that I kept throughout our years together, and I hope that you see the joy and love that is there. If you are looking for a story of incestuous sex tales, then you had better leave now. Because this is our story, David and I, and it's about what we all had together with my dad.
"Dad, you might as well know that I have been in love with you for some time now. I watched how you both acted throughout the years, and then when dad was dying. I saw the love, that you both had, and how it was unconditional dad, and I wanted a love like that. I also saw that you were the glue that held together your love affair, and dad leaned on you constantly, as he drew his love and strength from you."
"It was a two way street son, we drew our love and strength from each other," he tells me. "Yes I was the one that started our romance, but it took both of us to keep it together throughout the years. It was hard, having to be careful around family and friends, so that they didn't find out that we were lovers. That was the reason we moved to the north, to be away from family that would definitely find out about us, had we stayed in Mississippi. We were just lucky that Shaun could find a job, because even though I worked from home, and made great money, he refused to retire and live off me son."
"Then why not let me in, and love you as I want to dad? Let me be your lover and husband now dad," I ask looking deep into his eyes.
"I'm not ready son, to love you or anyone else as a lover," he tells me. "I don't want you to have to hide your love and sneak around through life because of me," he says as he steps into his room, and he closes the door and locks it.
"Daddy please," I yell, banging on his door but he refused to open it for me.
So there I stood... alone and rejected. I walked back to his study and sat in the dark... alone.
I decided to read some more in dad's journal, as I opened it randomly to a page near the back. I must have looked like a hungry baby bird, as I sat there with my mouth open, and not believing what I had just read...
Journal entry: 1-14-2007
Well today was David's fourteenth birthday, and what a handsome young man he has turned out to be. We gave him that new bike that he had been wanting, along with several games for his Wii. He's upstairs showering now as I write this, getting ready to go over to Charley's house. He has very good taste in his friends, because Charley is one hot little dude.
Wondering thought of the day:
I wonder what it would be like to have David and Charley in bed with us.
Thankfully, it shall never happen because we respect our son and would never introduce him into the kind of relationship we have. Shaun and I both feel that he needs to find his own love and not have to sneak and hide as we do. Well two more birthdays and we shall sit him down and tell him the truth about Shaun and me. I just pray that by then he is man enough to understand our love and accept it. Anyways, he's still my boy and I find myself loving him more each day.
More later about his birthday...
"Was my dad falling in love with me even then," I asked myself, as I sat there considering what he wrote.
My dad is handsome for a man in his thirties, and although he's not a hot body builder type, he has a nice body. Yeah he has some extra poundage around his love handles, but his ass is tight and round for an older dude. Therefore, if he is so attracted to me, why doesn't he let me show him how much I love him? I don't care if I have to hide and sneak around to love him, at least he won't be so alone and hurting anymore.
I was standing with my back against the bedroom door, listening to his pleading for me to open my door to him. He was also pleading with me to open my heart to him, and I just couldn't yet.
I didn't want him to have to live a life as Shaun and I had. I wanted him to have a life where he could openly love someone that he wouldn't be ashamed of to love. Shaun and I had to hide our love from prying eyes that would judge us as perverted for the love that we had. I always knew that it bothered my dad to have to hide what we had. I also knew that although we were lovers, he was never completely comfortable with our love. Don't get me wrong here, Shaun showered me with his love, and when we made love, he never withheld from me his best. I always felt so loved by Shaun, and complete. He never once gave me cause to regret the choice that we made to be lovers, but he still wished in his heart of hearts, that I had taken someone other than him to be my husband.
I remember how he fought me when I asked him to marry me.
"I love you son, but please don't ask me to marry you as I did your mother," he had said to me that night in his arms.
He got up, went into our bathroom, and for the first time in our love life, locked the door. I could hear his muffled cries, as he must have been regretting haven taken me into his bed as a sexual partner. I also cried for causing him such grief and pain in his heart. I stopped that night asking him to marry me, because I knew how much he hurt. I left it up to him to ask me to marry him, and if he never did, I would be content, to just enjoy loving him.
David has stopped his pleading to come in, and I suspect that he is gone to bed. How I hate to hurt him like this, but it's for his own good that I refuse to let him become my mate and lover. Someday when he is happily married to some nice man, he'll thank me. I myself know that I will never take another man to love. I will forever love my Shaun, and be content relishing the warm and tender love that we had together.
I flipped through dad's journal, randomly picking places to stop and read. I was getting a bird's eye view into the love and thoughts that he shared with my grandfather. Grandfather, how strange that feels to say that, and yet that is what my dad really was to me. Although in his sixties, he looked so much younger, and I suppose it was because dad kept him eating right and active. His presence filled a room when he entered it, and it seemed that everyone's eyes turned to him. His hair was full for a man his age, and he wasn't balding like most men his age. Yeah he had some grey forming, and one day even that disappeared. My guess was that he or dad had died his grey, because although his natural color didn't change, the grey just suddenly disappeared.
I now was reading another entry, and what memories this entry brought back to me.
Journal entry: 7-23-2008
Martin and Trevor are taking David camping this weekend with them and Charley. David is so excited to be going and Shaun outfitted him with new camping gear. He was so ecstatic over his new sleeping bag and lantern. Shaun and I loved watching our boy's face whenever he got presents unexpectedly. He had that look that said...
"It's not my birthday dad, so why the presents?"
"We know son, but we love you and just felt like giving you a gift to show you how much we care," Shaun or I would say to him.
Well he just left and Charley and David couldn't contain their excitement. Martin had invited us to go along, but we had a commitment and took a rain check.
Well I have written enough, and shall get back later to add more when David returns and shares his adventure with us.
I turned several page further, and found the page that spoke of my return.
Journal entry: 7-25-2008
David came home today from his camping adventure, and to be honest he wasn't very excited. I felt that he would be jumping up and down with excitement when he told us about his trip. Instead, he was rather quiet, and when asked how it went, all he said was ok. I called Martin after he went to bed and asked if everything went all right with the boys. He had said that it was a fabulous weekend and that they all seemed to have fun. When he asked me why I was inquiring, I told him how quiet and withdrawn David was about it. He told me that he had noticed a change also Saturday afternoon when he came back from a hike with Trevor. He said he questioned Trevor to see if something happened on the hike and all Trevor had told him that he felt David might be coming down with something. He had also said that he and Charley hadn't gone because Charley had twisted his ankle and couldn't walk much on it, so he stayed behind with him.
Well I am going in, check on my boy, and see if he is coming down with something, more later.
Yeah dad came in and checked on me, and he even asked me if something happened between Charley and me. How could I tell him the truth, that Charley's dad Trevor molested me. It would have destroyed their friendship, not to mention what it would do to Charley and my friendship also.
I was so excited to be going on a hike to the top of Camel's hump mountain. I knew that there was a lean to up there for campers to spend the night, before returning down the mountain. We had made the top inside of two hours and what a view it was. We were both hot and sweaty from our hike and his dad suggested a swim in a nearby pool that was spring fed.
"I didn't bring my swimsuit," I told his dad.
"Hey we are both guys here, and no one is around so lets skinny dip," he said to me.
I was apprehensive at first but once I saw him strip naked I figured it was all right. We swam in the icy cold water for almost twenty minutes, until I was shivering uncontrollably, and his dad told me it was time to get out and warm up. When we got out, he had me come over and let him hug me to warm me up. As I stood there with his arms around me rubbing my body to get me warm, I felt his fingers roam my ass crack. I pulled away from him and he pulled me back and asked me what was wrong. All I could say was nothing is wrong, and he hugged me very tightly to him as he began to rub me again. When I tried to pull away, he held me tighter and told me to relax. I was scared as his hands played with my ass, and again he put his fingers between my ass cheeks. I look up at him and said that I wanted to get dressed, but he said later, just let me warm you.
"I'm warm sir," I told him but he refuse to let go.
It was then that his finger pushed into my butthole and I yelled out.
"Don't please, that hurts," I told him with tears in my eyes.
"Just breathe deep and relax Davey," he said and pushed his finger in all the way. "Ouch stop please," I begged him.
"Listen to me Davey, you want this as well as I do," he said and lay me down on the grass.
I tried to get away and he spanked my ass and told me to behave. I was so scared, as I lay there under his big body, and he was now kissing me. He shoved his tongue into my mouth and I thought that I would suffocate because my breathing was hard to do with him in my mouth. When he stopped, he sat up and told me to lie on my stomach, and when I didn't, he turned me over and spanked my bottom hard several times until I was crying. He apologized for spanking me so hard but told me that it was because I wouldn't listen to and obey him. I just lay there as he tongued my backside, and put more fingers into my boy butt. The more I protested and told him to stop, the harder he spanked me, so I kept quiet. I laid there crying silently as he did his nasty thing to my butt.
"This going to hurt Davey, but just remember to breathe deep and relax," he told me when he was done with his tongue back there.
I froze because I didn't know what he meant, until he pushed his large cock into my ass all the way. I screamed out so loud for him to stop and take it out of me, but he laid on me and kept kissing my neck. As he kissed me he began to push into me and then pull his cock out before he shoved it back in again. I laid there crying as he fucked me harder and now he was pulling me up. He had grabbed me around the hips and was holding me to him, as he shoved his cock in rapidly now. He kept saying gross things, as my boy ass was tight, or how hot my ass was. He was making all these sounds and then he yelled out that he was cumming, and I could feel something hot going in my ass. He was shoving into my ass faster now and grunting as he kept shooting in me. When he finally pulled out his cock, he told me to just lay there and relax. I looked back and he was getting dressed. Once he was dressed, he threw my closes over to me and told me to get dressed. He told me to keep quiet about what happened or else I would be very sorry if I told my dad's or anyone else. We hiked back down the trail and when we got back to camp, I went right into the tent that Charley and I shared.
I am now crying as I relive those thoughts, and wonder if he had ever done that to Charley or his other friends.
"God dad, how could I have ever told you what he did to me that day," I say aloud, as I wipe the tears from my eyes.
"Who did what son," I hear and turn quickly around to see my dad standing there.
"Ah... nothing dad," I said but I knew that he wasn't buying it.
"Listen to me Davey, I have a feeling who and what it is, but unless you tell me I can't help," dad tells me, and I started crying as if I was a three year old.
"Oh God dad please don't make me tell you, you'll hate me," I say to my dad as he holds me, and I can tell that his eyes are on the journal.
He pushes me from him and holds me buy the shoulders and says...
"Trevor raped you didn't he," he asks and it was as if a floodgate opened and I cried so hard.
"Yes daddy," is all that I could say to him as he held me tight.
"I'll kill that bastard," he says aloud, and my heart bursts, because he so wants to protect his son.
"No daddy, don't," I begged him. "It'll ruin my friendship with Charley," I tell him.
"He hurt you son, and that is something he should pay for. I trusted him to take you camping and this is how he repays my trust," and I could tell that dad was in his mother bear protecting her cubs mode.
"I'm fine dad and its over," I tell him. "He has never come near me since," and he just looks at me.
"I know you don't want Charley to know, but he could be hurting him or other boys also," dad said.
"Dad he knows now about you and dad, and how you're love is ancestral, so just let it drop," I tell him. "He would just expose it as you fucking me and trying to blame it on him."
"Well in any event I am having a talk with that bastard alone," he says. "I'll respect your wishes and not say anything to Martin, but I don't want you near him again," he says.
"I don't let myself be alone with him anymore," I tell dad, and he just hugs me to him.
I love the way I feel all warm and safe in dad's arms. It's as if the world can't touch me because he is protecting his boy.
"Dad, I feel so safe in your arms," I tell him and he pulls me closer. "It's like no one or nothing can harm me when you are holding me," and I snuggle in closer to his chest as my face rests on it.
"You are my son Davey, and it's my job to protect you. That is why I feel so angry with Trevor, he betrayed my trust that he would keep you safe from harm, and then turns around and rapes you," and I could tell that this was not going to be the end of it.
"I should never have told you dad," I say looking up into his eyes.
My heart was now pounding as he held me to him, and I could see the love that he had for me in those eyes. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled myself to his mouth. When he opened to protest I shoved my tongue into his mouth and we kissed. It wasn't a long one but I fought hard to keep my mouth pressed to his.
"Davey don't, I would be no different than Trevor is," he says and walks away from me.
"Dad don't ever compare this or anything else, to what that man did to me," I tell him as I grabbed his arm and turned him to face me.
I could see the tears in his eyes and I wiped them from his face with my hand. I held onto his face and slowly I pulled his lips to mine and we kissed. He didn't push me away this time, but wrapped his arms around me, and pressed his mouth hard to mine. His tongue entered my mouth, and I felt like I had died and went to heaven as we stood there in the dark and kissed. Then just as I was about to touch him, he pushed away and ran from the room, leaving me there alone again.
"I can't do this to him," I thought to myself, as his taste still lingered on my lips. "I won't put him through the ordeal of shame and hiding our love," I say to myself, as I remember how hard it was for dad to accept it.
"You are no different than I was," I hear my dad's voice say to my mind. "Love him as you loved me sweetheart," and with that sweet whisper I bolted from my room.
I ran as fast as I could to my study, and I called out his name as I ran. I found my David standing at my desk with his arms held wide. I ran into his arms, and I kissed him with all the emotion that I held within me. He kissed me back and we cried as I let my love out to him. Never, since dad, had I felt so loved and desired, as I did that moment, and when my son said, I love you, I just melted away in his arms.
"Dad this is so right and I want you to know that I love you daddy, and I will make you never regret what we are about to share."
He took me by the hand, and led me back to his bedroom. Even as we undressed each other, I still had my doubts.
"Are you really sure David, I don't want you to feel that you are obligated to love me, because of what your grandfather and I had."
"It's because of that love, that I want to freely and unconditionally, give you my love and self."
With that said, he gently laid me down on his bed, and as he climbed in beside me, I felt a sudden peace over take me. It was as if dad had given us his blessing, and I knew that this was right.
"You do know that we can never share our love with others," I told him as he held me in his strong arms.
"Yes dad, but I would tell the world of our love, if it meant that I could keep you forever," he says as he tenderly kisses me. "Now teach me about this gay lovemaking," and it felt like dad all over again.
I pulled him on top of me, as I did with my dad, and we kissed.
"Are you gay David," I ask, completely forgetting that I had never asked him.
"I am now sweetheart," he says, and the way he said sweetheart caused me to cry as I held him. "Did I do something wrong babe," he asks, and just then I realized that I had a very young man with me.
"No stop," I say, as I push him off me. "We can't do this David, you are still a child," and my words stabbed him through his heart.
He said nothing, as he got off and left the bed with me laying there in sorrow. He got dressed and left the room, and that was the last that I would see of him for a very long time. I laid there and cried as I heard the sound of his car leaving the driveway.
"I've lost him," I said through my tears as I got up and left his room. "It's better this way, he can be free to find his own path without me around influencing him."
Over the next few weeks, I put the house on the market and cleaned out my dad's closet. Except for a few items that I cherished, I gave my entire lover and his memory away. It was as if I was eradicating everything, and anything, that reminded me of him from my life. I put all pictures of dad and us together, in a box and sealed it. By the time that I had received an offer on the house, I took it, happy that it was going. I hadn't heard of David in weeks, and he had even dropped out of school. I looked everywhere for him, because I was his dad and I was concerned. It wasn't until the moving company came to move me that I came to terms with the fact... that David was never coming back to me. I remember standing in my empty bedroom window, and looking down onto our backyard. I kept seeing my David as a young child, he was playing in his tree house, which dad and I had built for him, and how my heart ached, to see him, touch him for just one more time.
"The truck is ready to roll sir," one of the movers says as he pulled me back from my memories.
"Huh, did you say something," I asked as I turned to see him standing there.
"We're ready to roll, is there anything else that needs to go, before we close the doors to the truck," he asks, and all that I could manage to do, was shake my head no.
Yes, there was one more thing... my David, but he wasn't there as I ended my life with dad. I looked one more time around the house, and just before I closed the door, I said...
"Goodbye Shaun, I love you and I am surely going to miss you," and I closed the door and left my life with dad behind.
I moved to a condominium, the new ones that had recently been built overlooking the shore. Although I had reported David missing and a possible run-away, I knew that unless he wanted to be found, the police never would find him. Moreover, it had occurred to me that he might have met with foul play, and that was not a thought that I entertained lightly. Therefore, I continued to write in my journal, my thoughts... good and bad.
Journal entry: 6-19-2009
Well my David has been gone now for two weeks, and not a word have I heard. I called the police and they have had no word or sign of him. I was called three days ago, by a Captain Dan Richardson, to tell me that a body of a young boy had been found and would I be willing to come down to the morgue and see if it was David. No parent should have to identify there child like that, but I went, and thank God that it wasn't my David. However, somewhere there is a parent missing a son, and my heart was now aching for my boy.
I finally went back to work, and tried to keep myself busy, because the sight of the dead boy just tugged at my heart. I needed to find my son, regardless of the fact that he no longer wanted to be with me. I was busy going over some spreadsheet when my phone rang. It was the police department calling to tell me that my son was found.
"Is he alive," was all I could think of to say.
"Yes sir, but he's been arrested for being a part of a prostitution ring," the officer tells me.
I told him that I was on my way, and it took minutes to arrive at the station. I spoke to the desk sergeant and he told me exactly what he was being charged with. I waited for what seemed hours, until he finally was brought out.
I was pacing the cell that I was being held in, because of my age, I was sent to juvenile lockup. I know that my dad had been called, and I dreaded seeing him again. He would know by now, that I had been a whore, and he'd probably hated me.
"Come on kid, your dad is outside for you," this burly size officer says to me.
"Does he look angry sir," I ask him.
"What do you think, he doesn't look like he hit the lotto," he says sarcastically to me.
I was led to a room that I could meet with my dad alone. As soon as the two of us saw each other, we busted into tears, as he hugged me tightly to him. I was so ecstatic, that I instantly busted into tears. "I'm so sorry sweetheart," was all he could say through his tears, as he kissed my face.
"No dad, I'm the one that's sorry," I say to him through my tears. "I was angry at you for rejecting me, and I figured that I'd make you pay for it and I just left.
"I wasn't rejecting you sweetheart, it was..." and he stopped talking and motioned towards the mirror.
I knew instantly what he was referring to, and from that point on, we carefully chose our words.
"Where have you been David, I was so worried about you?" I ask, and I could tell that it wasn't good.
"I was living on the street, and this guy I met, Franklin, took me in. The only problem was, he was a pimp and wanted me to work for him," and I could tell that he knew that I was ashamed of what I did, because my eyes refused to meet his.
"Look at me son," he said and pulled my face up.
"I can't dad, I'm so ashamed of what I am," I told him and then started crying again.
"Oh no son, I'm not ashamed of you, I love you," he says. "Did he hurt you," and he starts checking me for bruises.
"Well he beat me badly, because I told him I wouldn't do that, so he locked me in this room after he beat me. I was in there for several days, with just one meal and a pot to go to the bathroom in. When he asked me if I would reconsider my answer on the third day, I said yes. I only said yes because I was afraid that he would kill me dad. But I really didn't want to do it, really I didn't," I tell him.
"I'm getting you a lawyer and he'll handle this," dad says to me. "I need to see about bail, now sit tight until I can arrange it.
"I do still love you dad," I say to him, and I look at him in the eyes.
"I know son, and I love you too," and the officer takes him away.
To be continued:
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