Date: Sun, 8 Sep 2002 23:09:14 -0700 (PDT) From: Waddie Greywolf Subject: "Cabbage Patch Cowboy Part 3" (M/M M/b t/t Gay Incest Oral Anal True) DISCLAIMER: WARNING This is a work of adult fiction which was written by and adult for the amusement of other adults. If you are under eighteen years of age or have objections to this type of expression, please stop reading now. The author will not be held responsible if you continue reading beyond this warning. (Codes: M/M M/b t/t Gay Incest Anal Oral True) Questions/comments: Copyright 2002 Waddie Greywolf ============================================================================= CABBAGE PATCH COWBOY PART 3 The Parable of the Old Man and the Young So Abram rose, and clave the wood, and went, And took the fire with him, and a knife. And as they sojourned both of them together, Isaac the first-born spake and said, My Father, Behold the preparations, fire and iron, But where the lamb for this burnt-offering? Then Abram bound the youth with belts and strops, And builded parapets and trenches there, And stretched forth the knife to slay his son. When lo! an angel called him out of heaven, Saying, Lay not thy hand upon the lad, Neither do anything to him. Behold, A ram, caught in a thicket by its horns; Offer the Ram of Pride instead of him. But the old man would not so, but slew his son, And half the seed of Europe, one by one. Wilfred Owens~WWI British Poet Things got worse instead of better. Waddie wouldn't respond to anything Morgan tried. Finally, in desperation, Morgan pulled one of Waddie's protective boxes of toys out of the closet and crawled in next to his son. He pulled him up into his arms to hold him. He kissed him gently on his forehead to wake him. Waddie was not asleep. He was unconscious. He could hear and feel Morgan but he couldn't answer. He laid there for a night and a day unconscious due to hunger and dehydration. Waddie was so weak he couldn't get up to walk to the old pot he kept under his bed to piss in. He'd soiled himself and his bed on the floor of the closet. Severe depression, then called melancholia, can be more severe, even life threatening, in children than in adults. An adult has life experiences to draw upon to cushion the downward spiral. A child, many times, will give up. Once a child's brain is convinced there is no hope it will close down the need centers of hunger and fluid intake. After a certain point he has no urge to sustain his body and dies of starvation or dehydration. Waddie had reached a point of hanging in the balance between life and death. He was barely breathing. His pulse rate was declining rapidly. He was beginning to feel chilled because the blood was not pumping through his small body at the correct rate. He was aware of Morgan taking him into his arms but he couldn't move nor respond. He couldn't make his eyes open. His spark of life was now a fading ember. What a sad comment on the adults caring for him to allow this to happen. Willie was overheard to tell his sister he hoped the little bastard died. Then he'd have the upstairs to himself again. Waddie's ma never climbed the stairs to check on him in his self imposed isolation. She could've cared less. Morgan was to blame most of all because he knew the boy hadn't eaten in several days; he didn't remember how many. An adult can go much longer without food and water but a child won't last very long. Still Morgan refused to consider he may have been wrong about Waddie and defuse the situation. If he just gutted it out, he told himself, and waited, Waddie would come around and see things his way. To admit he might have been wrong would mean he had to reevaluate his need for `family' and the cost of that ideal to him and his son. His child should've come first; however, he knew if he admitted to Waddie he believed him, that would require a major decision on his part. How could he trust his wife if she had participated in this deceit? If what Waddie told him was true, he'd been framed all these times, Morgan realized his ideal of having a `family' would have to be severely reevaluated; perhaps, even terminated. Morgan had the misguided idea that, "By God, we're family and families work their problems out together, helped each other, and stayed together, no matter what!" Morgan's almost pathological need for his ideal was greater than his love for Waddie. For that ideal, and his denial of reality, he was unwittingly sacrificing his son on the alter of pride. Whether he meant it or not, Morgan could've thrown the child a bone of hope that he might reconsider. Waddie's attempts to reason with Morgan had fallen on deaf ears and a hardened heart. A five year old boy trying to reason with an adult on his level became too much for the child. He tried everything his five year old brain could think to get his dad to listen to him. There is no man so blind as he who will not see, nor so deaf as he who will not hear. As Waddie's life was leaving his body Morgan still clung to his belief, he'd come around when he got hungry or thirsty enough. Morgan found no evidence that Waddie had been drinking liquids. No one even saw him go to the bathroom. How long does one play Mexican standoff when a child's life is at stake? The `wise ape' will spend hundreds of dollars to get a mother cat and her kittens out of a drain pipe; yet, the same species will ignore a child slowly slipping away from life at the bottom of his closet. What irony. Three adults murder a five year old, beautiful, bright, intelligent and spirited little boy and because they didn't use a gun, will never be called to account for their actions. A child who's depth of love couldn't be measured, becomes the fallen victim of pride, jealousy, hatred and mendacity. Morgan loved him but almost like a toy or a pet. Throw the ball for him a little, pat him on the head, tell him he's a good boy and send him to his room. Waddie was a child that needed love. Show me a child that doesn't! Pinnochio was his favorite children's book. He would always cry at the end to see the little wooden boy become a real son to, Geppeto. Too young to understand the subtle ramifications of psychological transference from fiction to fact; that's all he wanted from Morgan was to become his real son. It wasn't like the boy was asking that much. All he wanted was for his dad to hear and consider what he was telling him and at least give him the benefit of the doubt. Waddie forgave Morgan many times for unkept promises and cruelty he suffered at the hands of his step-brother, step-sister and ma. He would go to Morgan to tell him of his hurt and Morgan wouldn't even hear the boy out before he started his standard band-aide collection of homilies; be brave, be strong, ignore it, think positive, don't let `em get to you, stay out of their way. . . . Morgan kept "them" around as a symbol of a family he so desperately wanted; however, in doing so, he unwittingly fostered the child's torment. Unwitting only because of indifference to his son's plight. He tried to downsize Waddie's fears and complaints while forgetting a child's world is so much smaller than an adults that even the smallest of problems loom large on their abilities to cope. Waddie was Bambi against Godzilla. Like a bank, Waddie had deposited all his love into Morgan for safe keeping. Morgan spent and squander Waddie's love until he bankrupted the account. There was no one else in Waddie's small world to love but Morgan and his account registered overdrawn; insufficient love. Waddie really didn't stop loving his dad. Assuming you have a soul, you can't just undo love. He knew that, but he was hoping Morgan didn't. That made it all the more painful for Waddie. The final blow, . . . he didn't think Morgan really cared whether he lived or died. So if Morgan didn't care he would get out of his hair and he wouldn't have to deal with a bad boy anymore;. . . . because of his love for Morgan, Waddie was ready to cross that threshold. He wasn't going to show his love for Morgan until Morgan believed in him again. Waddie knew how stubborn his dad could be and resigned himself, his hope was not to be. You don't do things like Morgan did to his son and expect the child to keep loving you, unconditionally. Morgan felt Waddie's pulse and mouthed out loud, "Oh my God! I may be too late." Morgan yelled to Judy to run downstairs and call an ambulance. Morgan gently picked up Waddie and backed out of the closet, turned and placed Waddie on his bed. Willie was leaning against the door with a sneer on his face with no offer to help. "Willie," Morgan said very quietly, "if you don't want your Goddamn head ripped off you better get to your room, lock your door, and stay in there until I'm gone. You got that, you filthy little cocksucker!" Willie scurried away into his hole. Morgan ran downstairs and grabbed the phone out of Judy's hand. It occurred to him if Judy had been part of Willie's deceit, could he really trust her to call an ambulance. To her credit she had and Morgan acted like the crazed father he was. Waddie was comfortable, he was in no pain He was beyond feeling any discomfort. He knew he was dying. He didn't know dying could be so peaceful. He didn't want to leave like this. After all, he had loved Morgan more than anybody. He wanted to say goodbye to Morgan and let him know it was all right. He forgave him and would always love him. He was standing in his room, outside his body, watching Morgan. All he had to do was leave through the light portal in front of him. It was very tempting. Why should he stay here? He was unloved in this world. He watched Morgan sitting there on the edge of the bed, tears running down his face, trying to revive Waddie. Speaking to him. Begging him. "Hold on, Waddie . . . don't go, Son . . . don't leave me. Oh God, Waddie. I've been such a fool! I put you through this. I thought you were going through a phase. I should have known with your passion for life and love you'd rather die than not have my trust. Son, don't leave me. I don't think I can survive without you. Waddie, I'm so sorry." Somehow, he knew Morgan couldn't see nor hear him. Waddie placed his hand on Morgan's shoulder in an effort to comfort his dad. He knew in that moment, with that gesture, he still had a great love in his heart for Morgan, and it hurt even worse to say goodbye. "Give up, Dad, I have." he said to Morgan. "You never talked with me when I was alive, yet you continue to talk at me when I'm dead. I'm not a wailing wall, Morgan, I'm your five year old son who needed his dad to be strong, loving and understanding; to keep him from harms way. The time for talk is past, Dad. Don't call me back to live more pain. Goodbye, Dad, I will always love you." He kissed Morgan on his cheek and Morgan raised his hand to his face to feel a moist area. Waddie saw a movement in the light portal and there stood a big, fine looking man. He stood for a moment getting his bearings; brushed himself off a bit. He came to Waddie, squatted on his haunches, opened his arms to the boy. Waddie moved to him and embraced him. Waddie wasn't afraid, he knew he was from God. "Made up you mind, Son?" the handsome man asked him. "No Sir. I still love my dad. He just don't know it. Have you come for me, Sir?" The big man stood, easily taking Waddie up into his arms to hold him. "Well, you did ask the Old Man to love you and take you home, didn't you?" "Yes Sir, I did. You mean he heard me?" Waddie asked in wonder. "He hears every prayer. He can't answer all of them but he does a good job. Besides, some prayers are best left unanswered. In your case he was ready to step in. You told him that nobody down here loves you and maybe the way you're looking at it that's true. Look at your dad there. He's in anguish over the thought of losing you. Anguish equals loss of investment . . . no . . . . he's not in that much anguish. Granted he should've never left you alone to sink further and further into melancholy. Then again, he hasn't had a lot of support from your ma, either. She's equally guilty. Whether the others were deceitful to help bring this about is a matter unto itself. Your half brother is the personification of evil. No matter their involvement, you were, first of all, Morgan's responsibility. He must accept the blame if you decide to go with me. I'm not going to try to tell you what to do `cause the Old Man told me to let you decide. This is your call, Son. What ever you choose to do he'll go along with; you'll have his love and blessing either way; but, I have to tell you some of the wonderful things you'll be missing out on. By the way, I'm not here to scold you nor make you feel bad about rejecting your dad. We all think you've had it pretty rough. Just between us, cowboy, his `nibs' the Almighty ain't too pleased with your dad right now. We haven't been able to understand how Morgan could love you as much as he claims to and not hear what you were trying to tell him. Age has nothing to do with it. If you're five or fifty-five he should've listened. Some folk's thick- headedness boggles the mind. Willie, his sister and their mother are not nice people. First of all there's something you have to know about them, Son. They have no souls. They're meat machines the other side has walking around hurting good people with souls. "If my ma doesn't have a soul, how did I get one, Sir?" "Oh dear! The Old Man warned me about you. He said you were bright for a five year old and had the seeing power of Joseph. You're not going to let me off with, `you'll understand later,' are you?" Waddie smiled real big at him and shook his head `no,' slowly. "I didn't think so; . . . all right, He told me I can reveal certain things to you and I will but first listen." Soulless people manage to host off of good people while sucking them dry. Not only of their resources but their souls as well. They so desperately want a soul they'll do anything to try to get yours. They have no conscience. They can convince you that they love you one day, empty your bank account the next, all the while sucking your soul dry emotionally, and never have a second thought about it. It's all in a day's work to them. Your dad doesn't realize it but his need for family is sucking his soul out of him and he can't see clearly how to deal with you. If you decide to stay you have to help him fight them. You have to wean him away from them. You don't have to worry `how' right now . . . when the time comes, the Old Man will send me to be by your side. I'll help you. The Old Man was going to see to it you get to cut Willie's balls off, so the speak, as a final shot at him; if you stayed around. Of course you probably wouldn't be interested in retribution." "What's retribution, Sir.?" "Getting even in spades." The angel winked at Waddie and they both laughed. "If you go home with me you'll be missing one of the greatest loves of your life. A little man your same age is moving into the adjacent ranch even as we speak. His name is George Gipson Gentry Justin. Devil of a name, eh?" the angel and Waddie had another good laugh, "His family calls him George. He hates that name so you call him `Gip.' Then everyone begins to call him `Gip.' Sometimes you'll call him `3G.' Within this week you'll have a second dad to be the best buddy you ever had. You and he become closer than you can ever imagine. The two of you will share one of the greatest loves the world has ever known, and just between us, the Old Man was really looking forward to getting you two together. He's an old softy. He loves happy endings. Neither of you will have any idea the power your love can have but together you will learn. He'll marry a wonderful woman that you'll come to love better than your current, shall we say, female keeper?" The beautiful man-angel went on and on about Buck and Linda Sue and told Waddie some things that began to make his life make sense. Waddie cried in his arms about some of the things he was telling him. The angel comforted him. They're good at that. Morgan had shown him picture after picture of his Uncle Buck and Buck's sweet heart, Linda Sue Davenport. He all ready loved them from their pictures. The angel also explained to Waddie how he could have a soul and his ma didn't. The angel told him many things. Waddie was told not to reveal any of this information until the proper time. He would know when that would be. He was stunned but not totally. It didn't cause him to lose perspective. It certainly made his heart leap for joy and he was happy. He couldn't leave now knowing what the angel told him. He has to meet these people, see them for himself, touch them, hug them, kiss them and tell them of his love for them. Waddie felt bad for his dad, Morgan, who had no concept of the truths the angel was telling him. It might hurt him deeply but he told the angel he loved Morgan more than he wanted to admit; a lot more. What ever Morgan had done to him he didn't want his dad hurt nor miserable. "You must believe me, Waddie, your dad is not a bad man. I think down deep you know that, too. He's a lost man trying desperately to find his way. He needs to rid himself of some preconceived concepts that holds on to tighter'n a dog with a bone. We needed him to take care of you for a while and he'll have his own awakening that you must help him with; but, remember . . . he will always be you dad, just as Buck will be your God father. Morgan all ready knows there's no containing the love you and Buck will have for each other. It will be a tsunami that will consume anyone that comes close to you. Morgan's going to need you most of all, Son. Your relationship will change but become stronger over the years. He'll lean on you, even as young as your are, then you'll lean on him later in your life. He will become your rock. If you're not here to love him and see him though, I'm sorry, but he won't make it, Son. You don't know what this is doing to him now. Your other dad needs you too. The Old Man wants him to become sheriff of your county. Buck won't run for the office if you don't suggest it to him and encourage him. You have to rally your adult friends to urge him to run as well. Then if it looks like you can't convince him then you pull out your trump card. You tell him he must run for the office of sheriff. If he asks you, `why?' Ask him if he remembers the angel that touched him when he lay dying on Iwo Jima and gave him the strength of ten men to do what had to be done and to come back to you. I told him my name and so will you." "What is your name, Sir?" "Urial, Son. Can you remember that." "Yes Sir, Mr. Urial, I sure can." the angel laughed at Waddie. "You look him in the eye and tell him, Urial told me to tell you it's what you must do." About that time the ambulance guys were coming in the room. They lifted Waddie's body onto a gurney and headed for the stairs with Morgan close behind. "We have to go with them, Son. Put your arms around my neck." Waddie did and they were instantly inside the ambulance. They had an IV drip of liquids going into Waddie's arm. "You sure he won't mind if I go back, Sir?" "He loves you, Waddie. He always has, he always will, and he does look after children like your dad told you. He has one of us running after you all the time. He wants to know everything. This is your choice, Son. I'll take you home to be with him or you can stay and see how it plays out. I'll be honest with you, later on, your life gets pretty damn rough but you never lose your faith, and for that, he sends you a love that will heal and transform you. One that you will be proud to take back to him and lay at his feet. You'll lose one great love and he'll send you another. What's it going to be, cowboy?" "I can see my dad's having a real hard time sitting there watching me. I don't think he can make it by himself. I don't think I can pull out on him now, Sir." "He won't make it by himself, Son. He'll be so distraught over your leaving him, he won't be paying attention when he should and he'll be killed instantly. The Old Man wouldn't let him live with that much to bear. He'll totally blame himself and because he has a soul and a conscience he will accept the blame. We made him responsible for you and he messed up. You tried to tell him. The Old Man said for a five year old kid you did a damn good job! But for all this, you almost died, Son! He hasn't learned that he must listen to you if he expects you to listen to him. Now, you're probably gonna' have to go through several more whippings `til Morgan gets it through his thick head, you aren't lying and you weren't lying. Try a new approach. Tell him you still love him even though he punished you for something you didn't do. Tell him because he taught you not to lie you won't anymore no matter how hard he whips you. You tell him that and I promise I'll have my hand on you. You won't feel more than the air of the belt. Then tell him you still love him even though he punished you for something you didn't do. If necessary I'll appear to the son of bitch and put the old fear of you know who in him!" They both had a good laugh over that. "You might consider a brief vacation away from him." "Like running away?" "I didn't say that, . . . now did I? (wink! wink!) But if you should choose to take a vacation of sorts, I'll be with you every step of the way and protect you. However, the Old Man told me to tell you, if you decide to stay and put up with the shit, he'll make it worth your while. For a while he'll give you free reign to torment Willie and then he want's you to use your nuclear secret for your and his ultimate revenge. You'll actually get to watch Willie piss his pants." Waddie was overcome by giggles and the angel laughed too. "We can't wait for that. Everyone up there will see it on their . . . `home movie screens.'(he almost forgot they didn't have television - it was invented in nineteen twenty-one by a fourteen year old high school student, Philo T. Farnsworth; however, it didn't make it to a consumer product until the late forties.) Get past that and it's smooth sailing for you and your two dads. You'll have a choice to choose one over the other and I've also got a bet with the Old Man on that one." "I have to stay, Sir. I'm was angry at my dad but I can't let anything happen to him. It ain't right to see somebody you love come to harm because you told them you stopped loving them. Besides, I still love him too much, Sir. Please can I go back." "Damn!" "What'sa matter, Sir." "The Old Man bet me the new model `Terrible Swift Sword' to smite the evil do'ers that you'd go back. I honestly didn't think you would, Son. I bet on you going with me, but I'm glad I lost the bet. I'm happy for you because it's the right thing to do. Now, gimme' a hug, a big kiss and I'll send you back." "Tell him, thank you and I love him, please, Mr. Urial." "I will indeed, youngster!" Waddie hugged and kissed the beautiful man and the angel told him one last thing. "When I put you back, you're gonna' feel like crap. Hold on to your dad's hand. Don't let go and his love will give you the energy and strength to pull you through." he paused for a minute. "Oh and by the way, if you feel the need to show your love to you two dad's physically . . . don't be ashamed to and tell them not to either. They're both good men. They won't allow you to until they feel your old enough to make that choice. You're a sweet little man, Waddie, I wish you were going with me. God loves you, cowboy . . . so do I." "I love you, too, Sir." said Waddie but he was all ready back in his body and his dad heard him whisper those words and thought it was for him. Well, sometimes that's just the way the Old Man does things. "Oh, sweet baby, I love you, too. I couldn't live without you, Waddie." "I know, Dad. The angel told me. He said not to let go of my hand. I need the energy from your love to get better." "I won't, cowboy, I'm right here." "His pulse is stabilized and his temperature is coming around. I think he's gonna' make it." said the ambulance attendant. Waddie's dad broke down and wept for joy holding his son's hand. They kept Waddie in the hospital a week and all the nurses fell in love with him. He didn't ask for much and was polite and grateful for any little thing they did for him. They were all slipping him little things to make the day go faster. The sixth day a huge cowboy came swaggering through the door of Waddie's hospital room with all the balls and bravado of a Texas twister, smiling and winked at Waddie like he knew him. He had a big booming voice. "Where the hell's this new nephew I been hear'n `bout. Would that be you, Son? Your name Waddie?" "That'd be me, Sir." Waddie answered blown away by this larger than life character. He knew instantly who he was. He was the earthly angel God had sent him. Buck Claymore had a grin on his face a yard wide. Waddie smiled at him, held his arms out to him, and the big man easily gathered him up. Waddie's other relatives followed Buck into the room. * * * * * * * * * * * * Deja vu~ "Hey, little buddy!" he spoke softly, "So you're Uncle Buck's new nephew. Damned, if you ain't prettier'n a speckled pup, too. You got the cutest little dimple in your chin there! Hell, Son, your daddy couldn't a' made you no finer looking." "Howdy, Uncle Buck. Damn, you're big!" The toe-headed kid exclaimed to the delight of the big cowboy holding him. Buck threw back his handsome head and laughed. "Waddie! You're not suppose to say `damn.'" scolded his ma. "Well, hell! He's right, Buck is a damn big man!" his dad came to Waddie's defense. Everyone laughed. "Are you gonna' be my buddy, Uncle Buck?" Buck Claymore hugged the boy tight, bussed a kiss behind his ear. How could he say `no' to this beautiful little boy in his arms. "Of course I'll be your buddy, little one, count on it! Take it to the bank, that's the only reason I came home from the war because I heard a rumor you needed a buddy. I'll be your buddy until I take my last breath!" "Well, that's good, `cause I'm gonna' need somebody to rodeo with." Everyone thought that was real cute, but Waddie was serious. He'd been to enough rodeos, he knew what he wanted to be. He wanted to be a rodeo cowboy like his dad and Uncle Buck. Waddie reached up to touch Buck's huge, wide brimmed, felt cowboy hat. His dad scolded him. "Waddie! You don't never touch a cowboy's hat! That's just not done! It's bad manners, Son!" "Awww hell, Morgan! My buddy can touch my hat any Goddamn time he wants too! Here Darlin', you wanna' wear old Uncle Buck's hat.....you can." Buck put his size eight hat on the small boy and it fell down around his face. Everyone laughed. "Here, let me adjust it for you, Sweet baby." Buck pushed the brim back so Waddie's handsome little face could be seen framed in his buddy's huge hat. "Damned, if you don't look like a buckaroo, Son!" Buck allowed. Your buddy will get you one, first thing tomorrow, that'll fit your pretty little cowboy head! Would you like that?" "Oh yes, Sir!" the boy smiled real big, "I love you, Uncle Buck!" "Oh Sweet baby, those be the sweetest words this cowboy's ever heard. Your Uncle Buck sure as hell loves you, too!" End Deja vu~ * * * * * * * * * * * * Then Waddie caught sight of the beautiful woman that his new buddy brought with him to the hospital. He knew who she was from the angel and held his arms out to her. He looked directly into her eyes with tears running down his face. Linda Sue had never met Waddie before Buck brought her to the hospital. Was it her imagination or did he look a little like Buck? Waddie hugged and kissed her, crying, telling her she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. Linda Sue couldn't hold back her tears. She didn't know why but she was powerfully overcome by the openness of this beautiful little boy in her fiances arms. Buck had his huge arm around both of them. Those that witnessed the three of them standing there embracing each other had the greatest feeling of love, peace, and that the presence of God was in the room. Even the big cowboy had tears running down his face. "When are you getting married?" Waddie asked them watching Linda Sue blush. "Pretty damn quick, Son. How did you know?" "An angel told me on the way to the hospital. He's a friend of your's Uncle Buck." "Said he was a friend of mine, cowboy?" Yeah! Said you'd remember his name and to tell you `Hello,' Uncle Buck." "What was his name, Son?" Waddie leaned over and whispered the angels name in his ear. Buck went white, his legs went rubbery under him, and had to sit on the edge of the bed. How could this child know that? "Did he tell you anything else, Son?" "Yes Sir, lots of things. He told me he met you on Ema Jaminna." "Close enough, cowboy." Buck laughed. "Told you, you had to go back home `cause you had a son to live for that needed you. That's me, Uncle Buck." Buck hugged Waddie tight as another tear ran down his face. "He did, indeed, Son. I believe you, Waddie. I wish't I'd a' been with you to thank him. I wouldn't be here now if'n it weren't for him." "I thanked him for us, Uncle Buck. He understands." Buck drew back and looked at Waddie. "Thanks, Son. I appreciate that." "Did he really know the name of the angel that helped you, Buck? asked Morgan. "Yep! He certainly did! I'd trust anything that boy told me. He's been blessed same's me." "I'd never lie to you, Uncle Buck." "I believe that, too, Waddie." "You were sent to be my buddy, weren't you?" "How'd you know that? I never told a soul. Oh, I see. He told you that?" "Yes Sir." "Well good! Then I'm in the right room. Come'mer, cowboy, you need some fresh air." Without asking anyone, Buck carried Waddie outside to the small park and sat with him in the warm sun. The nurses were a' twitter but decided a little fresh air wasn't going to hurt the boy. Besides, none of them wanted to go up against the huge cowboy. All the rest of the family disbursed and returned to their homes. Waddie sat in Buck's lap next to Linda Sue. Morgan sat with them. Waddie took Linda Sue's hand and held it in both his hands. "You're so pretty, Aunt Linda." "Hey, Waddie," said Morgan, "Linda Sue ain't your Aunt yet." he corrected Waddie. "She will be soon enough, Dad. Give `em a break!" Buck howled and Linda kissed Waddie on the cheek. "I'd love to be your Aunt Linda, Waddie. You and I have something special. I think I could love you almost as much as this big cowboy." She motioned towards Buck. "He is awful damn big, id-nee Aunt Linda. Sure am glad he's gonna' be my buddy. Don't never want him on my bad side." They all laughed again. They talked for a while and Buck wanted to know why Waddie was in the hospital. Waddie watched Morgan turn beet red and look down at his boots. His son saved him. "I been feeling poorly for several days so the doctor wanted to put me in here and run some test and give me a lube, oil change and a tune up." Buck thought that was about the funniest damn thing he'd ever heard a kid say. Waddie knew he had an easy audience with his big buddy. They didn't stay out long and Buck took Waddie back to his room. Buck and Linda said their goodbyes. Waddie hugged and kissed them. Linda cried a few more tears and so did Waddie. They just had that effect on each other; although, Waddie knew why. They promised to return tomorrow. After they left he sat there quietly with his dad holding his hand. "Thanks, Son, for coming through for me like that. I would've told them the truth. I could never lie to Buck." "I would never lie to him either just like I would never. . . " Waddie stopped and looked away. A tear rolled down his cheek finishing his sentence. At that moment, Morgan felt about the lowest he'd ever felt in his life. * * * * * * * * * * * * * Buck was driving Linda Sue back to her parents house. They both were quiet when they got in the car. Buck sat there thinking for a minute before he started the engine. Linda Sue felt his pensiveness but didn't say anything. She thought he'd tell her if he wanted her to know. Finally he spoke. "Linda? When I was holding Waddie and he was hugging you and I had my arm around you . . . did you feel . . .?" "Like a family?" Linda Sue completed his sentence. "Yeah." was all Buck said softly then started the engine of the car. As he drove he looked over and grabbed her hand a squeezed it. "I think that was one of the best feelings I've ever had in my life, Darlin;' our night together being first, of course. Do you know what I'm saying, Love?" "I felt it too, Buck. It was overwhelming. I instantly loved that little boy. He was so open and loving like he was a bubbling fount of love that no one took much notice of. He seemed to know me. He sure knew you." "Yeah." Buck mused again. Well, meeting Waddie settled one thing in his mind. He hadn't figured out how to tell Linda Sue he wanted to postpone their marriage for a while. He was invited by his buddy Audey Murphy to go to Hollywood and stay with him a couple of weeks. Now, after meeting his nephew he knew he couldn't leave. The angel was right. That kid needed him and he wasn't going to let him down. Buck couldn't figure out what was going own but he knew the kid was in the hospital for some reason other than a tune up; he giggled to himself. Tune up indeed! That little shit! Well, he didn't lie to me. They'd certainly see he was running smoothly before they let him out. "You want to go with me tomorrow to visit him, sweet heart?" "No, not tomorrow. You need some time alone with him. He needs to tell you some things he can't with me or his dad there. Things only best buddies share with each other. You've fallen in love with him, haven't you, sweet heart?" He looked at Linda Sue and smiled. "Not the same way I love you, Darlin' but yes, I have. Now, tell me you didn't!" Buck smiled at Linda Sue. "You wouldn't want me to lie to you, would you?" Buck just smiled and winked. "I need to talk in private with your dad when we get to your place, Honey. Do you mind?" He smiled sweetly at her. "Not at all." Buck got Linda Sue's dad off to himself. They went for a walk in the field behind his house. Buck offered Mr. Davenport a pull of his small metal hip flask of Southern Comfort he always carried with him. The old man was social and took a small pull and so did Buck. "Mr. Davenport. I want to thank you for your kindness and understanding towards me when I was home on leave almost five years ago. I've seen a lot of water flow under the bridge Mr. Davenport in those five years. Damn near got my ass shot off. Man to man, Mr. Davenport my time with Linda Sue and your family was one of the finest memories that sustained me through the war." "We love you, Son." "I feel that, Mr. Davenport and you know I love you, too. What I need to tell you is, only between you and me, I wasn't going to go through with marrying Linda Sue right away. I wanted to go and sow my wild oats, so to speak." "Her mom and I knew that Buck. We sensed it. I don't think Linda Sue wants to admit it but I think she feels it, too. She'll be all right, Buck." "Well, my point is, Mr. Davenport, I met a little boy today, Morgan's boy, my nephew, that needs me and he made me realize I need Linda Sue, him, you and your family. I can't go to Hollywood and be with my buddy, Audey, Mr. Davenport. I have to stay here and marry Linda Sue. I'm asking your blessing again, Mr. Davenport to ask your lovely daughter to be my wife." The old man choked up and Buck put his arm around him. "Son, you have the blessing of both parents. Her mother thinks the ground you walk on should be paved in gold and I'm not far behind her in that estimation. Of course you have our blessing. We'd be honored to have you as a family member. Hell, I ain't losing a daughter, I'm gettin' me the biggest damn son in the county." They laughed. "Not a word to her, Sir. I'll ask her tomorrow but today I got to buy a ring." Buck went out and bought a beautiful set of rings for Linda Sue. He had the engagement ring wrapped and went by the hospital late. Visiting hours were just about over and Buck walked into Waddie's room. He closed the door, hugged and kissed Morgan right on the mouth in front of Waddie. Morgan didn't hold back either. Then he went to Waddie and kissed him on the mouth, too. Waddie thought that was wonderful to have a huge cowboy like Buck give him a real kiss. "Ain't got much time, guys. Here's the deal." He brought out the small package and handed it to Waddie. "I'm bringing your Aunt Linda by with me again tomorrow. That's her engagement ring. Now, I want you to give it to her, cowboy. Would you do that for your buddy?" "I'd be right proud to, Uncle Buck." Buck threw back his head and roared. "Good! Now you hang on to that and we'll see you tomorrow. Don't worry, Son, Linda Sue is gonna' be your Aunt. Love you, sweet baby!" Buck grabbed up Waddie and kissed him again. "I love you, too, Uncle Buck." "Course I've always loved your dad, long's I can remember." He hugged and kissed Morgan to say goodbye. He waved and was out the door. "Why can't you love and trust me the way you do Uncle Buck, Dad?" Morgan looked at Waddie like he was stunned and couldn't speak. He felt any answer he gave him was going to be wrong. Waddie nailed Morgan to the wall. `Be gentle, Morgan,' he told himself. "I never realized I loved you differently than Buck, but now that you mention it, I suppose I do. Maybe it's because you're five and he's twenty years older than you." "But Dad, you had the same love for him since you were a kid and it hasn't changed all that much. It's you Dad! You think because you're an adult now you can't love me like a kid . . . it has to be different. There's a kid inside of you that would argue with you, Dad." "How is it you know so much about love, all of a sudden." "`Cause I'm five years old, Dad. Also `cause here in the hospital is the first time I ever remember you talking with me about things. You always talk at me. You never want to hear what I have to say. I know a lot of things but you've never stopped long enough to listen to hear what I know. I've known about love since I was a baby. Love isn't something only a smart man can know about. Hell, Dad, even animals know about love. Why is it so surprising to you that I might know about something and have an opinion? You told me I was closer to God than you were and I know his love. It ain't complicated, Dad, . . in fact it's so simple a five year old can understand it. It's grown ups that lose the `knowing' of what it means to love and be loved that makes love complicated. God never meant for it to be that way." "Did God tell you that?" "No, but his angel did. "Why did an angel come to you, Waddie?" "To give me a choice." "A choice about what, Son?" "I was dying, Dad. He came to get me and take me home to God." "Why didn't he take you then?" "He gave me a choice of going with him or coming back for you. Did you want him to take me, Dad . . .? Waddie's face started moving like he was going to cry. "No! No, sweet baby. I just wanted to know what happened. God, no! I've never been so relieved in my life as when you came around. "Relieved? You weren't glad or happy, Dad? Just relieved." Then Waddie did start crying and didn't want Morgan to console him . . . "The only damn reason I chose to come back was because you would be dead within three days of my death if I didn't! I love you too damn much to let that happen, but I'm glad to hear you were, at least, relieved, Dad; that I didn't cause you a lot of embarrassment." Waddie was really gone now and Morgan didn't know what to do. He didn't blame Waddie. "Please, Dad. Go home! I don't want you here right now. I'd rather be by myself tonight. Don't come back until you're ready to love and trust me; otherwise, I'm going to tell the doctor what really happened! I'll ask for protection and to be placed in a foster home. I think I'd do much better there, at least they'd pretend to love me." "Waddie . . .please, Son. I do love you. I didn't mean it the way it sounded." "Please, Dad. Just go." Waddie said so softly it was more powerful that yelling at his dad. His voice was so resigned, beaten down and pain filled. Morgan had tears in his eyes as he left Waddie's room. He went to the phone and called Buck. "Buck, this is Morgan . . . ." "Hey brother! How's my little buddy." "After you and Linda Sue left, I said something to Waddie that hurt him really bad and he asked me to go home . . ." "I'll be right there. I'll stay with him. You wait `til I get there." Buck was still dressed. He explained to his parents where he'd be all night and asked his dad to drive him to the hospital. He was there in fifteen minutes. They talked for a few minutes. Morgan gave him a brief run down about his bad choice of words. "Yeah, buddy. A kid as bright as he is would pick up on something like that, real quick. You know he's got to be emotionally raw from having a near death experience." "Ask him why he's really in here, Buck. He won't mislead you again. He did that to save me embarrassment. I don't deserve that kid, Buck." "There, there . . .buddy. Can't be that bad." "You may change your mine . . . go to him. He needs a buddy right now." Morgan turned and walked off with tears running down his face. Buck walked quietly down the hall to Waddie's room and listened for a minute. He could hear the sounds of someone sobbing his heart out trying to muffle the sound with a pillow. He walked in and saw the beautiful boy he had fallen in love earlier that day, laying prone crying into his pillow like the world was coming to an end. Buck sat down on the bed next to Waddie but he didn't look up. He just kept crying into his pillow. Buck moved his platinum blond hair out of his face, put his hand on his small back and gently began to rub his back and pat him. Waddie stopped crying but still didn't look up. "Hey cowboy, your old uncle's here to stay the night with you." Waddie popped up and got up on his knees to throw both arms around Buck's big neck and started crying again. "Oh, Uncle Buck! I'm so glad you're here. I needed another angel right now and asked God to send me one . . . and you're here. He heard me again." "Hey wait a minute. I ain't no angel, Son. I'm just ole Uncle Buck." "You love me don't you?" "With all my heart, cowboy!" "Then you're an angel, Uncle Buck. . . .you're my angel." Buck held the small boy tight until he calmed down. Something has to be terribly wrong here, thought Buck, if I had a son this beautiful and bright he'd have so much love from me he'd have to sell off the lower forty to manage it. It may be none of my business but I have to help this kid or he's going to grow up and not be a good person. "Waddie, Son . . . Uncle Buck wants to know why you're in the hospital. Now we're buddies and we can tell each other anything and it won't go no further. You feel like telling Uncle Buck?" "No Sir, Uncle Buck. I can't." "Why, Son, are you afraid of someone?" "No Sir. I just love my dad a lot and what I'd tell you wouldn't be something you'd be comfortable with. I'm just gonna' talk to the doctor tomorrow and ask him for protection from my family and have them place me in a foster home." "Is it that bad, Waddie?" Buck whispered close to Waddie's ear about to steal a kiss. "Yes Sir, but I don't want you to think bad about my dad. He loves you and you love him. I don't want to say nothing that might put you two at odds." "You don't think for a minute your Uncle Buck would let you go into a foster home, do you? You'll come home with me before I ever let that happen. Waddie, this may be uncomfortable for you to answer but I have to ask. Is your dad forcing sex on you?" "Oh God no, Uncle Buck. Sometimes I wish he would then I'd have some expression of love from him." Buck grinned real big at his little buddy and the seeming maturity of his answer. "Everyone needs someone they can tell the secrets of their soul to, Waddie. If you believe I'm your angel shouldn't you trust me like one? Whatever you tell me, if it's bad about somebody, I would never take action against someone until you gave me approval. I'm here for you, Son. Tomorrow I'm gonna' change my life around so I can stay here and be with you. Perhaps it's not right for a grown man to tell a small boy of five years, but I've fallen in love with you, Waddie. Come to think about it, there's nothing wrong with telling your buddy you love him; don't matter about your age none, neither. Buddies is buddies! Your dad asked me to be your God father. Of course I agreed immediately `cause Morgan's my brother. We're closer than any two brothers. I'd do anything for your dad, Waddie. But when I walked in this room and took one look at you, I was in love. I know same's you that God brought us together . . . for what purpose I can only guess but just to be your buddy's good enough for me. After that, I told your dad it would be one of the most wonderful things that could happen to me; to become your God father." "Damn, Uncle Bud. Nobody talks to me the way you do. You talk to me like I'm somebody; like you love me and are interested in me. You listen to me and talk with me instead of talking at me. I just want you to know how much I appreciate it." Buck grabbed the boy in his big arms and hugged him close. "I promise you another thing, as your buddy, I will never let you go to bed without hearing me tell you I love you. Unless I'm in a situation that keeps me from it. But even then, I'm gonna' show you a star in the sky. All you have to do is look up at it and know where ever I am I'm looking at it too. If it's lovin' you need, you come to the right man, little buddy. Half of this body contains love and the other half bull shit! I'll tell you how you can tell if your old Uncle Buck's a quart low on bull shit." "How, Uncle Buck?" "My eyes'll turn blue." Buck laughed at his own joke. "But they're always blue, Uncle Buck." "Yeah! Well what does that tell ya' . . . ?" "Ya' got an oil leak?" Buck wasn't expecting that answer but hell, it worked. "Close enough, cowboy. Now get comfortable and start at the beginning. I want to know why your in this here hospital and why you almost died." So, . . . Waddie told him. He left out nothing. When Waddie finished he had just told Buck why he got so upset with Morgan's words. Here he chose to come back to save Morgan's life and the best he could feel was `relieved.' "Hell, Uncle Buck, I thought that meant when you went to the bathroom." Buck smiled at Waddie's joke but sat there still without saying anything. Waddie knew he was digesting the information. "Well, sweet baby, if you want to know what I think. I don't think you're lying. I don't think you lied to your dad. I think you were telling him the truth and he didn't want to believe you. I can't imagine my brother beating a sweet little man like you. What can I do for you, Waddie? If you could have me do anything for you what would it be?" "Believe me, Uncle Buck. That's all I ask! Believe I'm not a bad boy nor a liar. Nothing I've told you tonight is a lie. I realize some of the crap I've told you about Willie, Dorothy and ma sounds crazy. Well, they are crazy. I ain't asking you to do nothing about it. I'm just asking you to believe me. Nobody believes me." The kid wasn't telling him these things to cause a reaction, he was telling Buck these things to preserve his sanity. He was fighting desperately not to become one of them. As much as they connived, belittled, bullied, and castrated he didn't want to be like them; for that, he had to have someone that would say, "I believe you, Son." Waddie talked quietly to his new buddy for a couple of hours until he couldn't hold his little head up. The big man was patient to a fault. He gently lay Waddie back on the bed and brought the covers up to tuck him in. He kissed him gently on the forehead. "Sweet dreams, little buckaroo. Nothings gonna' happen to you on Uncle Buck's watch." If they ever made saints in giant economy/ industrial strength sizes Buck would surely be one. Buck couldn't say too much `cause he didn't want to intrude on Morgan's handling his own household. Some of the stories Waddie told him were so bizarre he wondered if, perhaps, Waddie exaggerated the truth. In a way he hoped this was Waddie's way of getting attention or sympathy, but in his gut Buck knew his little buddy wouldn't lie. He'd only met the boy that day but Buck was a pretty good judge of character. There was so much that passed between them in a short period of time he was exhausted. He had to trust the boy, he had Buck's soul neatly tucked away in his back pocket. Only two people in his life had ever grabbed his heart and never let go, Morgan and now, Waddie. Buck's love for Linda Sue grew gradually from teen romance to a full mature love. Somehow this kid was part of Morgan and yet he had the nagging feeling he was part of him, too. Maybe through his love for Morgan. The only thing he knew for certain, he had to spend as much time with this little boy as Morgan would allow. For some reason he didn't understand he was driven to share the secrets of this young man's heart. Linda Sue was right. Waddie has so much untapped love in him it's hard to gage how much. Buck was resolved to see if Morgan would open and talk about what was going on. He certainly felt he had the right to ask his brother why the hell he was beating a five year old boy. He could still see the bruises on `Waddie's butt and legs. What most disturbed him with the hand print that still was clearly visible on Waddie's face. Why? It just didn't make sense. . . . was his last thought before dropping off to a deep sleep in the chair by Waddie's bed. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Buck didn't wake up during the night. He didn't wake up `til he smelled Linda Sue's perfume and smelled breakfast and coffee. She had called to say goodnight at his house and his parents told her Buck was siting with Morgan's boy all night. She made up a basket of breakfast for him and a thermos of coffee. Buck excused himself to go to the men's room to wash. He went and cleaned up but on the way back he called Linda Sue's house. Mr. Davenport answered. "Dad. This is Buck. Do me a favor, call my parents and ask them to get down here to the hospital. You and Mom Davenport get down here, too." "I sure will, Son and we'll meet `em there. Thanks Buck." "Just thought my family would like to be here....." "Her mother especially. See you in a bit, Son." Buck felt good and returned to Waddie's room. Linda Sue was by his bed washing his face with a damp wash rag she found in the small restroom. They had been talking. "You awake, cowboy?" "Good morning, Uncle Buck. They may let me go home today. I really dread seeing those three awful people. Willie gets a sneer on his face; he looks like a dog eat'n a pile of three day old cat shit!" "Waddie!" Buck roared with laughter and nodded at Linda Sue. "Oh, I'm sorry, Aunt Linda , I ain't accustom to being around a lady." "What about your ma, Waddie?" asked Linda Sue. "Hell, if she says five words to me in a week, we had a conversation." Linda looked at Buck then looked down and just shook her head. The nurse brought breakfast in for Waddie and he introduced her to his aunt and uncle. She was a woman they both had been through school with and knew her well. Buck finished the nice breakfast Linda Sue brought him and gave her a peck. "Is that all I'm gonna' get?" "S'gonna' be a long day Darlin'. Gotta' ration `em to get through it. You don't want your old fianc^Â running out of kisses in the middle of the day, would you?" Linda Sue laughed at his kidding. "No, that sounds like good reasoning. I'll wait for the main course." "Well, it should be along in a few minutes. He no sooner said that when both their parents walked into Waddie's room. Buck introduce them to Waddie. Linda wanted to know why they came down. "We'd heard so much about this young man we wanted to see for ourselves and we just decided to invite Buck's mom and dad to breakfast. We wanted to stop by to see the young feller." Mr. Davenport told his daughter. Mr. Claymore spoke to Waddie, "Son, you look more like Buck than you do Morgan. In fact we've got pictures of Buck at your age and I think we'd have a hard time telling the difference." Buck had to close his mother's mouth for her. Buck looked over at Waddie, caught his eye, winked then nodded. "Oh, by the way, Aunt Linda I have a gift for you someone left here last night and said to be sure and give it to you today." Waddie reached under his pillow and brought out the slightly crumpled package. She knew what it was immediately took it from Waddie and hugged him. She carefully opened it then with both mothers looking over her shoulder she opened the small black ring case. There were three simultaneous oooohs. Linda looked at Buck and threw her arms around him. "Well, now let me have it. Let's do this thing right." He got down on one knee, holding the ring. "My dearest Darling, your parents have given me their blessing to ask for your hand in marriage. Linda Sue Davenport,. would you consider making me the proudest most happy man in the world by becoming my wife." Buck wasn't getting up `til he heard the words. "Of course I'll marry you, Buck Claymore." He stood and gave her a kiss that would have wiped out the entire day's rations had there been any. The parents were clapping, the women hugging and the men shaking hands. Buck went over to Waddie and shook his hand then couldn't resist pulling him up into his arms. "I wanted my buddy to be here when his Aunt Linda said `yes.' And you did a fine job of presenting her present to her. Thanks buddy." Buck kissed Waddie behind the ear and Waddie blushed. Everyone was laughing at him when the phone rang. Buck picked it up. "Hello. Oh, hi Morgan! Yeah, he's right here. . . ." Buck handed Waddie the phone. "Hi dad. No dad, come on down, I miss you. I know, . . . I love you, too. I'm not upset no more. Uncle Buck just proposed to Aunt Linda and guess what? She said `yes'! Okay dad, see ya'" He handed the phone back to Buck. "Proud of you, Waddie. You did the right thing. Even daddies make mistakes, but he's still your dad." "I love my dad but things would sure be easier if you were my dad, Uncle Buck." "Oh, sweet baby. Don't think that thought hasn't crossed my mine a hunnert' times last night and this morning. If it gets too bad, Son, you can always come find me. I'll never be far away, and I won't never turn you away. You're always welcome in this old cowboy's arms." "I appreciate that Uncle Buck. Just knowing someone out there loves me and believes in me helps a lot." * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Morgan arrived at the hospital about twenty minutes after he called Waddie. He hugged Linda Sue shook Buck's hand to congratulate him. "Well, I'll need a best man. I'd sure be honored and proud brother if'n you could see your way clear to stand up for me." Morgan was almost in tears. "I'd be the one honored, brother. I'm so proud of you." They hugged again. "Waddie," Linda Sue spoke, "since you did such a good job of holding my ring for your uncle would you consider being our ring bearer?" "Would I? That would be wonderful Aunt Linda. Now can I call her Aunt Linda, dad?" Waddie said in a slightly sarcastic manner. "Guess it's official, Son. Don't see why not." Buck was tired and needed to get home and get a couple hours sleep. He hugged and kissed Waddie goodbye and told him he'd see him soon. His Aunt Linda hugged him and held him an extra long time. Waddie liked that. She smelled wonderful. Even the older folks wished him well as the were leaving. Morgan told Waddie he was going to walk them to the front door and left. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * It was late afternoon and the hospital was releasing Waddie to go home as soon as the doctor came to check him out one last time. Morgan had brought him some jeans, a western shirt and his boots. He was all dress waiting for the doctor. He and Morgan didn't talk much. Morgan was pensive wondering if Waddie would ask the doctor to place him in a foster home. Waddie didn't say anything but he was awful quiet. "Looking forward to going home, Son." Waddie didn't answer. "No Sir." Waddie saw his dad look like he felt bad from what he said, "Sorry dad, I didn't want to lie to you." Morgan hung his head knowing that Waddie was probably going to ask for Foster Care and Morgan knew he could probably get it if he wanted it. The doctor rushed in checked Waddie out and ask Morgan to step outside the room for a minute. The doctor closed the door and returned to Waddie and sat down next to him on the bed. "Now Son, I was the doctor that took care of you when you came in. I saw the condition you were in and you were near death. In fact, it's a miracle you didn't die. They managed to get some fluids in you on the way that stabilized you a little bit and we took it from there. It was still touch and go until afternoon the next day. Now, I don't know what's going on in your home, but . . . I do care. I could have taken you under my supervision until the county could find you a foster home. But I didn't want to do that until I had a chance to talk with you and see how you felt about things. I haven't had this talk with you before now, `cause I wanted you to be strong enough to tell me anything you wanted to. No child should ever have to suffer what you did when you came in here. I saw a handsome little boy that had given up on life. You didn't want to live anymore. Do you know what suicide means, Son?" "When somebody kills themself?" "That's right! Well, I can't really say that you tried to commit suicide. You had the symptoms of severe melancholy and that would definitely cause a lack of interest in food and water; however, something has to be terribly wrong in your home life to make you that unhappy you'd want to do something like that. Did you feel like you could stop being in your closet and eat anytime if you wanted to? "After the second day, I just didn't care anymore. I didn't want to. I wanted to die." "Why, Son?" Waddie didn't feel comfortable talking about it but he couldn't lie to the doctor." "My dad stopped loving me. I didn't want to live no more without his love and trust. He's the only one at home I do love." The doctor let out a deep sigh. "I'll get back to that in a minute, Son. Now, I'm going to ask you a couple of questions and I want you to answer them truthfully. First of all do you know what sexual molestation means?" "I know what sex means but I don't know nothing about mole infestations." The doctor chuckled. "Has anyone, man or woman played with your penis or made you play with their private parts?" "No Sir" "Is anybody being mean to you or threatening you?" "Well, my dad, he don't mean to be mean but he punishes me by whipping me. I have an older half brother, and sister. My brother, Willie, does something he knows my dad will give him or me a whippin' for and tells my dad he saw me do it. The worst thing is he gets his sister and my ma to lie for him and tell my dad that they saw me do it, too. Dad taught me never to lie and I don't. Then he takes me to the barn and whips me hard until I admit to him I done it. I tell him I didn't do it and he whips me anyway. Then when I think I'm gonna' pass out from the whippin' I just have to give in, lie to him and tell him I done it. Dr. Dyer, that hurts me worse than the damn whipping. The last time he whipped me he always tells me how much more it hurts him than it does me. I'd about had it with him `caused I been whipped so many times for something my brother done, I lost count. I told him that was a Goddamn lie, it didn't hurt him more than it hurt me and was he gonna' let me whip his ass now `cause he told me a lie? He told me he wasn't lying and I said , "Bull shit! Why should I believe you? You never believe me that those son's of bitches in our house are all lying." Then I told him, "To hell with you, Dad!" and he hit me hard across the face. I didn't cry or nothing. I just looked at him and told him I didn't love him no more. Then I went and got in the back of my closet and didn't come out for a long time. I didn't want to eat or drink nothing. I didn't have any apatite. Dad just left me alone thinking I'd get hungry enough I'd come around. I decided I didn't want to live no more if my dad wasn't gonna' trust me to tell the truth. I saw there was no reasoning with him. It's their word against a five year old boy's. I didn't want to live and I ain't real sure I want to now. It's gonna' be the same damn thing all over again. Would you want to live like that, Doctor?" The doctor look at Waddie and shook his head `no.' "My dad is the only person in that house I love and he's slowly killing my love for him. I don't think I want to live no more if my dad don't love me and trust me. If he gets on my case for talking to you . . . so be it! I'm telling you the truth. If the truth hurts him then it's not my fault." Waddie started crying knowing he didn't want anything to happen to the man he loved most in his life. "Have you tried talking to your mom?" "Hell, doctor, she can't get her head out of Willie's butt long enough to listen to me. Why would I want to talk to her if she's in cahoots with Willie." "Good point, Waddie, I didn't think about that." "Besides, I learned on the way to the hospital she ain't my mother anyway." "Who told you, Son?" "An angel." "An angel told you this?" "Yes Sir. An angel came to me when I was dying and gave me a choice of going through the light portal or coming back here. He told me if I didn't come back my dad would be so hurt by me dying, he wouldn't be watching what he was doing and be killed instantly while driving his truck. I came back `cause I couldn't let that happen to him. Anyway, the angel told me "Did he tell you anything else, Waddie?" "Yes Sir, he said on the way to the hospital that if I didn't come back here I was gonna' miss having a good friend and buddy that was my age moving into the ranch next to ours even while we was on our way to the hospital. He told me his name is George Gipson Gentry Justin. He also told me some other things I can't tell you `cause he said not to tell nobody `til the time is right. He told me if I told you the name of your baby daughter that passed away four years ago, you'd believe me." "What name did he tell you, Son?" "Linda Gayle Dyer, Sir." Waddie saw the doctor look visibly shaken and wiped a tear away from his eye. The doctor excused himself for a minute. He walked to the phone and dialed. "Agnes, this is Dr. Dyer in the Lovejoy boy's room. Call the sheriff for me and find out if anyone moved into that old ranch that's been for sale next to Morgan Lovejoy's. If so when they moved in . Then find out if they have children and their names for me. Also Agnes what their last name is. I'll be here in the room with the boy. Call to his dad and tell him to get a cup of coffee, we'll be a minute. I need that info ASAP and Agnes, thanks! I owe you one." Waddie smiled when the doctor sat back down. "You're smiling like you know I'm gonna' find out you're telling me the truth." "I'm sorry, Doctor." The doctor put his arm around the boy and pulled him tight. "Son, my baby daughter died shortly after birth. My wife and I buried her in an unmarked grave next to our plots in the cemetery. All the papers for burial show the name only as "Baby Dyer." We were so distraught after losing her we realized we hadn't even named her," big tears were coming down the doctors face and Waddie put his arm around him in comfort. He pulled him closer to him. "she had to have a name but it wasn't after she was buried that my wife and I gave her that name. We swore we'd never tell a soul. It would be known only to her, us and God. We've never told a soul. I have to believe you son but for my own peace of mind I wanted to check out this other thing, too." "I don't blame you, Dr. Dyer. I know it sounds crazy but it happened. He was the same angel that came to my Uncle Buck when he was on Ima Jammina." "You mean Iwo Jima?" "Yes Sir, that it!" "Close enough, Son. Did you tell your uncle? He's Buck Claymore, right?" "Yes Sir, I did. I told him the angel's name and he said I was right." "What was the angels name, Son?" "He didn't tell me if I could tell folks other than my uncle his . . . " "You all right, Son?" The doctor looked at Waddie staring off into the distance. "Uuh, yeah, doctor. He just told me it was all right to tell you. His name is Urial." "He just appear to you, Waddie.?" "Yes Sir. Liked to scared the crap out of me, too." The doctor could feel the boy shaking. "If an angel appeared to me, Son, I'm afraid it would scare a lot more out of me than that." The phone rang and the doctor answered. "Yes, Agnes. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Only the one? Un-huh. Really appreciate it, Agnes. Thanks." Waddie was smiling again as the doctor came and sat down beside him. "I don't blame you for looking smug, Waddie. You deserve that. There is indeed a family moved in there the very day you were brought to the hospital and they have only one child named George Gipson Gentry Justin. Your angel was right, Son. I believe everything you told me. Now, what are we going to do about it? Do you feel safe going with your dad?" "Yes Sir, but I know I'm gonna' get whipped again soon's Willie sets me up. I've learned to survive Morgan's whippings `cause the angel's been with me and will be if he whips me again. But Doctor it's the humiliation I have to go through having my big brother sneer at me like he's so Goddamn smart he can get me whipped anytime he wants just by lying to my dad and the other two go along with him." "Is he Willie Devers?" "Yes Sir, You know him?" "Yes Son, I do. Tell you what! I've made some notes, let me look into to this. How do you feel about going home with your dad today?" "What choice have I got? He's my dad, Doctor?" "What about your uncle? Could you stay with him for a while? Hell, Son, you can come home with me, if you want to. It's just me and my wife and I know she'd love to have you around for a spell. We got a spare room you can have. Matter of fact, I'd be pleased to have you stay with us." "I thought about asking my uncle but I just met him yesterday. I appreciate you thinking well enough of me to offer me a place to stay but I guess my place is home with my dad. The angel told me he's gonna' need me and I gotta' be there for him. I'll just go on back with him." "All right, if you're sure. Remember, you can always change your mind. I'm gonna' check on you every couple of days and see how your doing. I don't want to talk to your dad , ma, brother nor sister when I call or come by. I want to talk to you, understand, Son?" He winked at Waddie. "I understand, Doctor." Waddie threw his arms around the doctor's neck hugged and kissed him on the cheek, "I love you for caring, doctor and believing me. Now I got two people who believe me and before yesterday I had none. I promise, Doctor, I'll never tell you a lie." "I believe that, too, Son! Just wish't to hell you were my boy! That ain't no lie neither!" The doctor said as he hugged and kissed Waddie back. "Now, you stay in here for a while. Read, or take a nap and we'll be back to get you soon's I'm through talking with your dad. You're a good boy, Waddie. If you ever need a friend in a pinch, put this card in your pocket. It's got my home phone number and my office number. If I'm not in, leave your name and the phone number you're at with my wife and I'll get back to you, quick as I can, Son. Sounds to me like you need several folks to believe in you." "Thanks, Dr. Dyer, for everything and doctor . . . I'm so sorry about your little girl. Urial told me to tell you she's happy, healthy and living with God. He loves her a lot, Dr. Dyer." "Thank you, Waddie. I needed to hear that and I believe you, Son." The doctor hugged Waddie one more time. * * * * * * * * * * * * * Dr. Dyer wiped the tears away with his handkerchief as he walked down the hall to the front desk. "Agnes, you seen Mr. Lovejoy." "Cafeteria, Doctor . . . " "Thanks." He didn't know what he was going to say to the man. How could he let something like this happen to such a loveable little boy. All the damn kid's asking for his dad to love and trust him. If I was told several times a month I was no damn good and a liar I'd probably start to believe it. I won't let that happen to this boy! The doctor walked into the cafeteria, grabbed himself a cup of coffee and headed to Morgan's table. He sat his coffee down and offered to get Morgan another cup. Morgan thanked him but refused. Dr. Dyer sat there for a minute, took a sip of his coffee, then looked into Morgan's eyes to see if they would tell him anything about the man. He got a chill up his back when he felt he was a peeping tom, looking through a window to the man's soul. What he saw shook him. He knew instantly Morgan was not a bad man, but he had legions of built up hurt, disappointments, and loss he'd never dealt with. They were all, still there in a miasma of conflicting feelings and loyalties. He saw that Morgan needed help. Not deep correctional therapy but someone to care for him enough for him to lean on until he could organize and deal with this emotional junk yard that was his brain. He was not violent, though he could be if pushed, but right at that moment he was fairly stable. "What did my son tell you, Doctor?" "He told me you trained him to always tell the truth. He loves you very much, Mr. Lovejoy, but he told me the truth because you taught him to tell the truth.." The doctor watched Morgan's eyes moving swiftly like a wild animal looking for the easiest escape route. "I don't feel we have to hash it out here and now, today. You've had enough to deal with from your own conscience and self doubts. Let just say, I know the truth. I would urge you to listen to your Son, Mr. Lovejoy, and learn to trust him. I've only known him a short time but I would trust your boy with my most treasured secret and did just a few minutes ago. I don't think you really appreciate the treasure you have in that boy! If you did, he would've never come in here in the condition he was in a week ago. I seriously considered contacting the sheriff's department and filing criminal charges against you. Something told me not to. Mr. Lovejoy," the doctor looked right in to Morgan's eyes and leaned forward like what he was about to say was of utmost importance, " don't make me regret not filing those charges! Do I make myself clear, Mr. Lovejoy?" "Yes, Sir, Dr. Dyer, I understand. I deserved that. I love my son with all my heart but he constantly defies me." "How the fuck is he defying you if he's telling you the truth. Hell, Mr. Lovejoy! You drilled it into the kid, and taught him to tell the truth . . . then when he does, you punish him. I'd defy your ass, too! Hell, I'd pick up a Goddamn two by four, apply it therapeutically to the base of your skull to get your attention long enough to tell you I was indeed telling the truth and the other son's of bitches were lying. Did it ever occur to you that his ma and two children are lying? You punish the kid when he didn't do it and they're driving a big, big wedge between the two of you. You get tired of caring for that boy, I'll take him in a minute. So, . . . here's the deal, Mr. Lovejoy. Waddie isn't real happy about going back to your place but he's going because he loves you and he's convinced you need him. God! What I wouldn't give to have a kid like him feel that way about me! Anyway, I'm gonna' be checking on Waddie regularly. I'll either phone or, call and drop by, but I expect to talk to him personally. If you agree to those terms I'll release him to you this afternoon. "Certainly, Doctor. You're welcome to come by or phone to talk to him anytime." "If I were you, Mr. Lovejoy, I'd seriously consider having Waddie stay with a relative or close friend until he's comfortable returning to your place on his own. Today he has no choice but to go with you. I'd much prefer that he had more time to think about it and make that decision for himself; but, that's up to you. I won't lie to you either, Mr. Lovejoy, I offered to have him stay with me and my wife for a while. You seem to have a lot of things you haven't dealt with in your life. Don't make that boy a victim of your personal disappointments. Come on then, I'll sign him out and you can take him home." "Thank you, Doctor." "No, Mr. Lovejoy, thank your Son. I know I did! I don't know all that's happened out at your place, but I know one damn thing . . .that boy didn't deserve to find himself with no way out but to kill himself." * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Morgan followed the doctor down the hall to Waddie's room to get him. The doctor told him goodbye again and that he'd hear from him soon. He shook Waddie's hand wanting desperately to hug the kid one last time. He didn't fool Waddie for a minute as he threw his little arms around his neck for a big hug. Dr. Dyer didn't hold back and wished him happiness. Waddie followed Morgan to his pickup and climbed in. He didn't say anything to his dad. Morgan pulled out and got on the farm road back to the ranch. It was about eleven miles from town. Morgan was hoping Waddie would say something, anything. He didn't. He began to get this look of extreme dread on his little face like he was getting closer and closer to something he really didn't want to face. Morgan watched him out of the corner of his eye and saw beads of sweat on the boys forehead and arms. It was a cool October day. The closer they got to the ranch the further down in his seat Waddie sank until he couldn't see out the front window. Morgan thought he wanted to postpone seeing the house as long as possible. He's scared to death and won't say anything. "You all right, Son?" "Yeah, dad. I'll . . . I'll be all right when I get home." "Like hell you will . . .!" Morgan slowed the truck and made a `u' turn and headed back to town. "What're you doing, Dad? You're scaring me." Tears of fear began to run down Waddie's face. "I'm sorry, sweet baby. Daddy didn't mean to scare you. Come over here . . . let daddy put his arm around you." Waddie moved over beside his dad and sat upright in the seat. Morgan put his arm around his boy and pulled him close. "I just watched your reaction to coming closer to our place and I watched the stress building in your little body. I don't want you to come home and be scared to death, Waddie. Daddy just made up his mind about something. He's taking you back to stay a while with your buddy, Uncle Buck and his parents . . . until you're ready to come home on your own. I want you to make that decision on your own when you feel comfortable. I do love you very much, Waddie, and I want to try to prove it to you by being better to you. It may take me a while, I may make mistakes, but I swear to you I will never again let happen what you went through last week. I almost lost the dearest thing in the world to me and I've been so caught up in other things I haven't told you enough how much I do love you. You're the only thing I have in life that means a damn to me. You were right to ask me to leave last night. I got to thinking about what I said and felt terrible. I had to pull off the road and let it out. I realized how I would feel if someone said something like that to me, especially someone I loved. I was over joyed Waddie that God and you gave me another chance. That night I pledged myself to try to be a better dad to you and take care of the mess we have at home. Bringing you here to stay with Buck for a while is a start, Son. I'm trying to think about what you need and not what I want. Now, I want to tell you something about your Uncle Buck you need to know. When he's home in his area of his parents house, he has the whole upstairs to himself, he don't never wear no clothes. That's his house rule. I even have to take my clothes off if I'm gonna' be with him up there for a while. Don't feel like you have to be shy around him. If you want to walk up to him and put your hand on anything just ask him he'll let you. He'll let you touch it. He'll let you feel it. I don't want you feeling shy nor embarrassed with your body or seeing anyone else's body. You might as well know that when I come to visit you'll probably see Daddy without his clothes on, `cause that's his rules. Now, there's an unwritten rule among men. What you touch on me, gives me the right to touch that on you .Buck is a gentleman and won't make you feel uncomfortable. He may even invite you to explore around on him if it will make you more comfortable. You don't never have to feel embarrassed if you want to feel Buck's big dick, but just ask him first and be gentle. I promise you one damn thing, that big man will never hurt you. You're safer in his arms that anywhere else on this planet. I all ready talked to him this morning and he offered to keep you for as long as it takes." "Thanks dad. I feel a lot more comfortable doing this than going home right now." "I don't blame you, Son." Morgan pulled his truck up in front of the big house and Buck must have been waiting. He came bounding down the front steps squatted on his haunches and opened his arms to his buddy. Waddie's little legs couldn't carry him fast enough to that big cowboy's arms. Buck enfolded him in an embrace. Waddie had never had a feeling like that toward anyone. He was in his angel's arms. He was happy. All fear and anguish seemed to melt away. For the first time in a long while his heart was at peace. Later that evening after his Uncle Buck showed him around the place and made him feel comfortable. He showered with his uncle and now was laying up against his nude body with Buck's huge arm around him locking him in tight, like he was afraid his little nephew would get away. Waddie had no immediate plans to go anywhere. What? And leave the comfort and security of these huge arms? I don't think so. He never felt more wonderful, alive, welcome or loved in his life. I'm not really so sure I didn't die, he thought. If this ain't heaven it sure as hell should be. End of Part 3~ 9/7/02 Copyright 2002 Waddie Greywolf Questions/comments: waddiebear@yahoo,com