Date: Fri, 9 Feb 2001 09:27:46 -0800 (PST)
From: rimpigfl <rimpigfl@yahoo.com>
Subject: COMING HOME ON LEAVE

Disclaimer: Not much need for one as there is no sex involved. This is a
story about brothers so if male/male love or relationships between siblings
bother you - stay away. The story belongs to me. You can read it, you can
share it with your friends. But you can't sell it. RimPig.

COMING HOME ON LEAVE
RimPig (c) 2001

When I was growing up, there was nobody that I looked up to more than my
older brother, Mike. He was daring, fearless, handsome, and way beyond
anyone else in the world to me. Of course, I could never tell him any of
this. He already had an ego, and I wasn't about to help it get any larger
than was already.

Of course, as the younger brother, I was a complete pain in the ass. I
followed him around. I poked around in his room when he wasn't home. And I
tattled on every real or imagined misbehavior I caught him at. All in all,
I was the typical younger brother.

Of course, this behavior led to many, many fights between us. I know there
were times when my parents truly believed that we were going to kill each
other. Well, at least, Mike was going to kill me! Since he was 2 years
older than I was and outweighed me by more than 40 pounds, I was always at
a distinct disadvantage in any physical contest between us.

The only time that Mike and I really got along was in the summer when the
family would head up to our cabin by the lake in the woods. For a month, we
would all be alone as a family in that cabin. It had two bedrooms and so
Mike and I had to share not only a room, but a bed as well because all the
cabin had were two double beds - one in our parents room and one in ours.

Neither of us had any friends in the area because the nearest town was over
30 miles away and the nearest house was almost 20. We spent a lot of time
together, tramping through the woods exploring or swimming in the lake. We
would spend those golden days doing the things that little boys do and
talking about the things that little boys talked about.

We would end up at the end of the month deeply browned all over our bodies
because, since the area was so private, our parents never required that we
wear swim suits in the lake when we were young. We would splash and dive or
swim races against each other for a lot of the sunny days. And I don't
think either one of us thought about our bodies or our nakedness then.

In those early days, we were just two brothers. We shared secrets with each
other. We allied ourselves against our parents over such issues as bedtime,
dessert and how much time we should be allowed to explore alone. We made
much better allies than enemies, but this never seemed to continue when we
got home.

For that month, however, we both enjoyed each other's company and we
enjoyed being alone together. And many nights, when we would fall into bed,
exhausted by our day of climbing, exploring, swimming, racing - we would
wake in the morning to discover ourselves wrapped in each other's arms and
legs beneath the blankets. Neither of us ever knew how we ended up that
way.

As we grew older, we still went to the cabin every summer with our parents
but things began to change. Mike approached adolescence and his body began
to change, his attitude about play and nudity changed with it. He no longer
seemed comfortable skinny-dipping in the lake and took to wearing a small,
nylon racing suit. This tiny bit of fabric may have seemed to him to hide
the changes that were happening, but what it actually seemed to do was to
accentuate those changes.

His body became taller and hard with muscles that started to show in his
chest, arms and shoulders. His stomach took on the appearance of a
washboard and the muscles in his legs not only grew, but were now covered
with dark coarse hair.

Mike was always a handsome boy but now that he began to mature, his beauty
became more noticeable. He had dark hair and flashing green eyes with a
smile that dazzled anyone who was caught in its glow. He walked with the
pride and swagger of a young lion and was noticeably popular with males and
females alike. He seemed to take on more and more of the gene pattern of
our tall, handsome father.

I, on the other hand, even as I entered puberty, didn't. I seemed to gather
my genes from my mother. I had her honey gold hair and her slender, short
body. And, even though I was attractive in my own way, I was constantly at
a physical disadvantage to my handsome, tall older brother. I remember
standing in front of the full length mirror in my room many times, counting
off to myself all the way I felt inferior to Mike.

But there was one ultimate way that I truly differed from my brother - a
way that caused a deep separation to begin to occur at this time. I was
'different'. Not just in looks, but in other, deeper, more meaningful
ways. Where Mike was an athlete and a popular, outgoing young male, I was
becoming a more withdrawn, quiet male who preferred reading and music to
sweating on the fields of athletic competition. I had no real close friend,
preferring my own company to that of other people.

But all of this came from a basic difference that I became aware of when I
was about 13. As with most young males, I discovered masturbation about
this time and enjoyed it tremendously.  But I also discovered that the
fantasies which I focused on during these self-pleasuring activities were
focused not on girls, as I supposed all other males did, but on those other
males.

I realized I had become the very thing that all other males despised - a
"queer", a "fag", in other words - a homosexual. Oh, I never did anything
with anyone else. I wouldn't have even known how to go about it. And I was
not close enough to another male to even contemplate such an event. And,
besides, the most frightening thing to me about all of this was that my
fantasies were generally focused on one male in particular - my brother
Mike.

Mike, who at 17 seemed like a young god to me! Mike, who was the epitome of
masculinity in my eyes. Mike, who represented everything that I knew I
could never be. But above all, Mike who was my brother! Not only was I
'queer' but I was mentally ill because I wanted to commit incest by having
sex with my own brother!

Add to this that Mike had started dating a couple of years before and, I
was sure, had long ago lost his virginity to one of the long string of
cheerleaders and school heartthrobs that he dated. I couldn't imagine
anyone in the world less 'gay' than Mike.

Was it the desire for the impossible that made me desire him? Did I want to
have him so that I could feel more like a 'man' by conquering his
masculinity? These were all the theories I read about for homosexual
desires. But none of them made any sense to me. I didn't want to 'conquer'
my brother. I didn't want to make him less than me. I didn't want to hurt
him in any way! Because, if I really could admit the truth to myself, I
didn't just 'want' my brother. I loved him!

I loved him as my brother. And I wished with all my heart that was all that
it was. But I knew better. I knew that my love for him went way beyond the
bounds of acceptable filial devotion. I loved him as I supposed a woman
loves a man. Well, except for that part about 'wanting to have his baby"!
Not only was that impossible, but it didn't appeal to me in any way, shape
or form. It would be many years later before I finally learned that a man
loves another man in a way that is completely different from the way a
woman loves.

The more I dwelled on this situation, the more it became clear to me that
there was one and only one way to handle this love I felt for Mike - make
damned sure that he NEVER found out about it! I knew that he could never
accept the fact that I was 'gay' much less that I harbored feelings of
incest for him! I don't think he would have killed me for it, but I was
pretty sure that the words "beaten to a bloody pulp" would have a whole new
meaning to me if he was to find out what was going on inside my head and
heart.

And so I withdrew farther and farther into myself. I spent as little time
around Mike as I could.  And since he was a popular and busy senior in high
school - this wasn't difficult. He was gone from the house most of the time
anyway. And when he was home, I just tended to either stay in my room -
something that had become frequent with me - or suddenly decide I had to be
elsewhere.

This all worked wonderfully. Nobody seemed to notice, especially Mike, that
I had nothing whatever to do with him unless it could absolutely not be
avoided. But there was one problem.

The cabin.

As the time grew closer for the annual family trek to our cabin, I became
frantic about what I was going to do to get out of it. I knew I couldn't
spend an entire month with Mike without him beginning to notice
something. And I certainly couldn't stand the idea of sleeping in the same
bed with him for a month - being that close to the object of my greatest
love and desire and not be able to touch him! I would rather have spent a
month in an illegal "sweatshop", grinding away 19 hours a day making
athletic shoes!

And for a while, I thought that might be the answer. I could get a job and
then I wouldn't be able to go. But, nobody was about to hire a 16 year old
and my parents certainly we not about to leave me at home without
supervision for a month!

And besides, Mike would be graduated from high school by then and this
would be the last time we would be together as a family before he went off
to college. And, if there was one thing my parents were into - it was
'togetherness'! Even if it were forced! I had no choice. I moped and
pouted, just like a 14 year old, but it didn't do me any good. I finally
found myself in the back seat of Dad's station wagon with Mike next to me,
heading for the cabin.

How I got through that month, I'll never know. But I did. And I don't think
Mike ever suspected a thing. In fact, the one strange thing I remember that
summer is that Mike seemed almost as withdrawn as me. We still spent a lot
of time in the woods, but not together. We both took to heading out early
in the morning and not returning until dusk. And somehow we managed to
always go in different directions. Never during that entire month did I
ever come across Mike in the woods or he me.

I do, however, remember a LOT of masturbation out in those woods all by
myself. I must have 'jacked-off' at least 3 to 4 times a day so that I
wouldn't throw a boner at night when I was in bed next to Mike. Of course,
that didn't stop me from having one in the morning. But that was all
right. All guys have those and Mike woke up with one just the same as I
did. Unfortunately, I was thrilled by this and tried to sneak peeks of it
when I thought he wasn't looking. His cock had evidently grown with the
rest of him. I had a difficult time believing the amount of 'love muscle'
my brother carried between his legs! But, as far as I knew, he never caught
me staring at it. In fact, Mike seemed to be, in some ways, lost in a world
of his own that summer.

Some of his withdrawal was explained about a month after we got home. One
night at dinner, Mike informed my parents that he was not going to go to
college. At least not yet. Mike had decided that he wanted to go into the
Marine Corps first.

My parents were so shocked, I realize now I missed a golden opportunity to
'come-out' to them.  I could have said, "Yes, Dad and Mom, Mike's going
into the Marines and I'm queer!" and they would never have heard the second
part! They immediately attacked Mike for what they saw as a totally
irresponsible and stupid act. Mike, on the other hand, calmly stood his
ground and presented logical and responsible arguments to every emotional
and desperate attack on his position my parents threw at him. I guess Mike
had already become somewhat of a Marine from the way he handled himself
that night. He certainly showed a maturity I wasn't aware he had developed!
But, then again, I didn't spend any time around him anymore, so what would
I know!

I do know that my respect and admiration for Mike went up about a million
points - which is pretty hard to do since he was already my most admired
and respected person in the world. I also secretly was thrilled at his
choice. Like many adolescent gay males, I saw Marines as the ultimate in
masturbation fantasies! The Few, The Proud, the Incredibly Masculine and
Sexy!!!  And to think, my brother - who was already my ultimate
masturbation fantasy - was about to become a Marine!!! I think I threw a
boner right at the dinner table.

While my parents and Mike continued to fight, I quietly slipped away to my
room. I figured I "had no dog in that hunt" and should just let my parents
and Mike fight it out. I heard loud voices downstairs for a long time, then
the front door open and close and then silence. I went back to reading, and
tried to think no more about it.

Several hours later, I heard my parents footsteps on the stairway and the
door to their room open and close. But I didn't hear my brother. Finally -
almost 2 hours later - I heard the front door open and close and then my
brother's footsteps on the stairway. I heard him walking down the hall
toward his own room when he suddenly stopped in front of mine. He just
stood there for several minutes. I was praying he would just go away. I
didn't want to talk to him about any of this because my elation at him
becoming a Marine might, in some way, let my secret out by indicating to
him how attractive I thought he would be as a Marine.

But no such luck. I heard Mike's soft knock at my door - using a code we
had come up with when we were little kids. Knock, knock, tap-tap-tap,
knock. I got up and went to the door.

"You aren't asleep, Scott?" Mike asked me.

"No, I'm not asleep. I was doing some reading." I answered.

"Can I come in and talk?" he asked.

"Sure!" I said.

I sat at my desk and Mike sat down on the bed. I made sure to cross my legs
so that if I started to get a hardon over him, it wouldn't show. It was
easy enough to do though! He sat there in skin tight jeans, showing off
what was a sizeable basket and wearing an incredibly tight black t-shirt
which showed the incredible definition of his muscles and his massive chest
and shoulders.

"Are you mad at me, too?" he asked. Mike was never one to beat around the
bush. He always came directly to the point.

"No, why do you even ask?" I said.

"Well, it just seems like you've been avoiding me. Even last month when we
were up in the woods, I don't think I saw you for more than a few minutes a
day!" he said.

'And I planned that very well' I thought to myself but I answered him,
"What do you mean! We slept in the same bed every night and had dinner with
Mom and Dad every night! How much more togetherness did you want?"

"I don't know." he said, hanging his head. He looked up into my eyes, "It
just seemed different than all the years before, that's all".

'Oh, God! Let's not go down this road!' I mentally begged him! I don't need
an introspective, emotional Mike on my hands right now! I'm having a hard
enough time not throwing myself into his arms and begging for the chance to
just spend one night making love to him!

"Well, things change, you know?" I said, trying to be a non-committal as
possible.

"Yeah, I know." said Mike. "So do you hate the idea of me going to the
Corps, too?" Same old 'get to the point' Mike!

"No, I don't hate it! What you do with your life is your own business. I
got nothing to say about it!" I answered, again trying to be non-committal
in this 'family feud'.

"I wish Mom and Dad felt like that! I thought they would have been proud of
me!"

Mike was truly miserable. And I was truly miserable! I wanted to comfort
him in some way but I was too afraid that if I started, I wouldn't know
where to stop. And the one thing I didn't need in my life was Mike hating
me for what I am.

"Well, I'm proud of you!" I said. "The Few, The Proud! And my brother's
gonna be one of them!" I could at least express this much of how I was
feeling about him and hope that it was enough to make him feel somewhat
better.

"Thanks, Scott! That really means a lot to me to hear you say that!" Mike
looked up at me with a grin.

Oh, that fucking grin of his! It seemed to light up not only his face, but
the entire room! I became a puddle of mush inside every time I saw it. I
had to get him out of my room and fast! I could already feel my cock poking
down the length of my pants and I knew that the next stage would be -
leaking precum until there was a huge wet spot where the head was. I knew
this, because it had happened enough in the past. And most of those
happenings happened when Mike was somewhere around!

"Well, there's nothing that Mom and Dad can do about it really. You're 18
now. You're an adult. You can make your own decision and you can join the
Marines without their permission."  I said, trying to get this back on a
basis I could deal with rather than Mike's feelings - which I couldn't!

"No, there isn't anything they can do. But I really wanted them to
understand! I really wanted their support on this. But, at least I have
yours, Scott, and that's probably the most important of all!" he said,
still smiling that stupid, sexy grin at me!

"What do you mean? Why is my approval so important?" I asked, shocked and
afraid of what might be coming next.

"Well...it's not anything that I like to talk about, or even think about,
but Mom and Dad are not going to be around forever, you know, and someday -
it's just going to be you and me, Scott.  We'll be all the family that each
other has left." he said, a wistfulness creeping into his voice.

"Except for your wife and children!" I said. "And besides, that's a long
time away." I didn't want to get into this kind of discussion either. In
fact, I rapidly discovered that there was no type of discussion I wanted to
get into because no matter where it lead, there were land-mines and I
didn't want to get 'blown-up'!

"Yeah, Scott, I sure hope it's not for a long time! Especially that part
about a wife and children!  I DEFINITELY hope that's a long time away!!!"
he said ruefully.

"What do you mean? Don't you want to get married?" I asked. I just can't
learn to keep my fucking mouth shut!

"Not really, Scott. I'm not ready for that kind of being 'tied down'. And
besides, I've never been in love so how the fuck would I get married?" he
answered, looking directly into my eyes.

It had been a long time since I saw how deep green they were. How you could
get lost in them like in the deepest of green seas....what the FUCK was I
thinking!!! This had to stop!!! But I couldn't stop it. The next words were
out of my mouth before I could even think to stop them.

"You've never been in love? But you've dated lots and lots of girls! You're
not telling me you're a virgin, are you?!?!" I exclaimed.

"No, silly, I'm not a virgin!!! I've fucked plenty of girls. But that's all
it was. I fucked them. I didn't love any of them. I don't even know what
love feels like. I guess I just haven't found the right one yet." he said,
seeming to be somewhat confused by this emotional discussion.

And all my stupid brain could think was 'I'm the right one! It's isn't a
girl! It's me! I'm the one who loves you! I'm the one you need to love!"
and more such bullshit until I reached the point that I knew I had to get
Mike out of my room before I lost it entirely.

"Well, you'll get to travel the world in the Marines and, who knows, maybe
you'll find the right one in some exotic port!" I said, trying to sound
encouraging.

"Yeah, maybe you're right!" he said, getting up off the bed and heading for
the door.

As he reached the door, I wanted to let out a sigh of relief, but then he
stopped and turned.

"Thanks for the talk, Scott. I will try to make you proud of me in the
Corps. And, who knows, maybe I will find what I'm looking for there. But I
have the funniest feeling, I'm going to miss something here a whole lot."
he said, and then gently smiled at me. "Good night!"

And he was gone.

I sat there at my desk for what seemed like hours. What the fuck did he
mean by that last comment that he was going to miss something here a whole
lot? Maybe he meant home or Mom and Dad or his friends. What ever he meant,
it had fuck-nothing to do with me. No matter how hard I wanted it to.

What none of us realized was that when Mike announced at dinner that night
that he was going to join the Marines, was that he had really already done
so. I guess a lot of the arguments he used on our parents had come from the
Marine recruiter, which I found out Mike had been seeing on a regular basis
for several months. So there was very little time from the night of his
announcement and the time he had to report for basic training.

He and my parents came to some kind of truce. At least they stopped
fighting about it and it just became a fact of life that Mike was going to
go away to the Marines. Mike spent a lot of time going to parties to say
good-bye to all his friends. Hardly a night went by the last week he was
home that he was in bed before 3 am. Our parents took us both to dinner the
last night that Mike was home. But it wasn't exactly a happy night.
Everyone seemed to have difficulty saying anything and conversations
would start and stop dead with seemingly nowhere to go. When we got home,
Mike went out to be with some of his buddies for a while and I, as usual,
went to my room. I tried to read but my mind couldn't stay on a sentence
long enough for me to figure out what it said. I tried to watch TV, but it
just bored me so much it actually angered me. Finally, I even tried
jacking-off, thinking I could relieve the tension that way. But it didn't
work. I cock worked. It would get hard. But then I would start thinking
about Mike, my favorite fantasy, and, all of a sudden, I would be crying.

The one person I loved most in the world was going away for 6 years and I
couldn't even tell him honestly what I felt about him. Nor would there ever
be a time that I could. I could never touch him, hold him, make love to him
the way I wanted to. And so the tears fell in buckets from my eyes. I
buried my face in my pillow so my parents wouldn't hear me. I didn't want
anyone to know what I was going through because there was no one who I
could explain to how much this all hurt and why.

I guess I finally fell asleep that way because the next thing I knew,
someone was sitting on the bed next to me and shaking me awake.

"Wake up, Scott! Come on! Wake up!"

It was Mike. He had his hands on my bare shoulders and I was starting to
get a hardon just at his touch! Oh, God! I need this like I need a broken
leg!!!

"Scott, wake up!"

"Ok, I'm awake!" I said, finally turning and looking into Mike's beautiful
face.

"Hey, bro! What's up? Have you been crying? Your eyes are all red!" he said
quietly.

"Go fuck yourself! I must be having a sinus attack is all!" I lashed out.

"No you're not! You've been crying. Over me going away?" he asked.

Well, I said he was beautiful - not brilliant! Like this was some kind of
fucking surprise that I might be somewhat upset at him going away for six
years! Duh!

"If you must know, yes! You're going away for six years and I'm going to
miss you - though right now I can't even think of one good reason why!" I
said to him through gritted teeth.

He looked at me with those deep, green, penetrating eyes. He seemed to be
searching for something inside my head. Something he knew was there, but
that he couldn't quite find. Then he stopped looking and just smiled at
me. But I saw tears welling up in his eyes along with the smile.

"I'm gonna miss you. I'm gonna miss you something terrible!" he said as
tears began to roll down his cheeks.

He then did something that I wanted and dreaded more than anything in the
whole world. He took me in his arms and hugged me. At first, I didn't
react. I couldn't! I so shocked by this display of physical affection that
I honestly didn't know how to react to it. Finally, I put my arms around
him and hugged back.

Oh, God! It felt so good! So 'right'! Like this was how it was supposed to
have been all along!  How it was supposed to be for the rest of our
lives. I reveled in the warmth of his strong, muscular arms. I was almost
breathless from the sensation of my hands finally touching his body and
holding him close to my own.

We held each other as we both cried out our misery at being parted. Here
was my brother - about to become a rough, tough Marine and he was crying on
my shoulder just as I was crying on his.  As miserable as I was, I didn't
want it to end. I didn't want this embrace to stop. I wanted to lay there
all night with Mike in my arms - even if it meant crying all night long.

I realized that Mike had stopped crying. But I also realized that he hadn't
let go of me. And then he did something that made me almost totally lose my
mind. He turned his head and, very gently, kissed me on the cheek. I don't
ever remember my entire life Mike kissing me. Never had his lips touched
mine. Not even as children! And yet, here he was, kissing me so warmly and
gently. I wanted him to kiss my lips, but that was much more than I could
expect! So I turned my head to kiss him on the cheek as well. I felt my
lips touch the whiskers of his face and it felt somewhat like what kissing
sandpaper must feel like. But I didn't care. I touched my lips to his face,
and suddenly realized, maybe for the first time in my life, that my brother
had a 'scent' all his own. I'd known that scent all my life and yet it
never dawned on me that it was "Mike". I would remember that scent all my
life because it meant my brother, who I love.

Mike pushed me over in the bed and lay down beside me. Taking me back in
his arms, I curled up against him and lay my head on his chest. And with
him holding me and me wrapped in the warmth of his arm and surrounded by
the scent of him, I feel deeply asleep.

In the morning, I awoke with Mike still lying next to me, his arms still
wrapped around me and his face nestled in the crook of my neck. It was
almost as if we had made love the night before, but he still had his
clothes on and was laying outside the blankets while I was naked but
covered, at least to the waist, by my bedclothes. But it was a memory -
waking up that way - that I will treasure for the rest of my life. I
watched Mike sleeping for the longest time. He looked so much like the
little boy I had known so long ago. He looked at peace laying there with me
in my bed. Oh, God! Why can't he and I just stay this way forever? Why
can't the rest of the world go away and just leave him here with me where
he's safe and loved? But I knew the answer to those prayers.

After a while, Mike finally awoke and looked at me. He smiled, reached over
and tousled my hair.

"Good morning! I guess I fell asleep in your bed. Sorry!" he smiled
sheepishly at me.

"That's Ok, Mike! I didn't mind. After all, I've shared a bed with you
often enough before." I said, trying to make light of it.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." he said, seeming to catch the spirit of what
I was trying to do. I guess he doesn't want to revisit those feelings from
last night either.

He got up and left, I guess heading for his bathroom as I sought mine. But
I kept feeling his arms around me and my piss-hard wouldn't go down. I said
the hell with it and climbed in the shower. Standing there under the hot
water, I was finally able to relieve the pressure on my bladder, as I'd
done so many mornings of my life after waking up from a dream in which Mike
played a major role.

I could remember when the dreams first started. It was about the time that
puberty hit. I would dream that Mike and I were engaged in some mystical,
heroic struggle to save the world. Mike, of course, would always be the
great warrior and I his faithful companion. I guess even then, I somehow
knew something about Mike which we never talked about. I guess it's also
the reason that his desire to be a Marine had come as no surprise to me. He
had always been a hero to me, both in my dreams and in life, that to truly
become a warrior only made sense. Of course, in the dreams, we were not
just companions. We were lovers. After defeating whatever evil there was,
Mike would find comfort in my arms, making love to me. Mike ruined more
pairs of underwear of mine than he ever knew.

After showering, I got dressed and went down to breakfast. There was a
strange feeling in the house that morning. A sadness and yet an
anticipation. Life for all of us was about to change and each of us, I
guess, had their own feelings about the change.

After breakfast, Mike went back up to his room to finish packing. I went to
mine, not knowing what I would do. I wasn't going with them to the
airport. I was enrolled in a summer honor institute, because of my high
grades (all that reading payed off for something!) and I couldn't miss
class.

I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling thinking about nothing and
everything. How much I was going to miss Mike. How much I didn't want him
to go. How proud I was that he was going to be a Marine. How long it was
going to be before I saw him again. The thoughts jumbled through my head. I
almost felt like crying again but fought down the feeling. I didn't want
Mike's last vision of me to be with my eyes all read and snot running out
of my nose!

After a while, I heard a knock at my door. It opened and there stood Mike,
his suitcase in hand, ready to leave. He walked over to the bed and I
hopped up off it.

"Well, I guess this is good-bye for a while, bro." he said.

Was that a catch I heard in his voice? Was he going through the same kind
of pain at leaving me that I was feeling over him leaving? Surely not! The
man I loved with all my heart was walking out of my life for six years. To
him, I was just a younger brother that was being left behind - like his
childhood.

I stood there staring at his face. I couldn't move. I didn't know what to
say or do. I knew I couldn't do what I wanted to do. I couldn't grab him
around the neck, kiss him passionately and beg him not to go.

"Yeah, I guess so." I said, feeling incredibly stupid and inadequate.

It was a terribly awkward moment for both of us. I suddenly didn't want to
look at him because I knew I would start crying. I wanted to reach out and
touch him so badly, and yet I didn't know how he would react to
it. Finally, thankfully, Mike took the lead. He moved closer to me and put
his arms around me, pulling me to him.

I reached up and put my arms around his strong neck and hugged him as
fiercely as he was hugging me. We stood there a long time, just holding
each other - not saying a word. This time I had no luck in holding back,
tears were streaming down my face again. My heart literally hurt from the
pain of his leaving. I buried my face into his broad shoulder and again was
struck by that special and unique scent which was Mike. It would be a very
long time before I felt him holding me again and I did n't want it to
end. And he didn't seem to want it to end either.

I felt him turn his head and, again, just like last night, he kissed me
gently on the cheek. And then I heard his soft, deep masculine voice -
husky with his own emotions - whisper in my ear.

"I love you, Scott! Don't you EVER forget that!"

My heart soared at his words and my tears fell harder and more copiously
but I didn't care! He loved me. Maybe he only meant it as a brother, but he
LOVED me! I turned my head, gently kissed his cheek, and then drew back to
look him in the eyes and threw caution to the winds.

"I love you, Mike! I always have and I always will!" I swore to him.

I didn't care how he took it. I didn't even care at that point if he
realized how I really meant it. I knew that, no matter what, before he
walked out that door, I had to tell him how I truly felt.

"I know, Scott. I've always known." he said quietly, tears falling from his
eyes as he looked at me.

Did he really? Did he really know how I felt? Was he saying that he knew I
was in love with him? That I wanted to be his lover? I just couldn't
believe that! He must mean that he knows that I've always cared about him
as my brother. No other concept was possible to my mind that day.

But in the days, weeks and months that followed, I wondered. Maybe, at some
level he did know. Maybe he guessed or maybe, because we share the same
blood, the same genes, he could innately understand things about me which
I'd never shared with him?

Finally, he broke the embrace and stepped back out of my arms. He picked up
his suitcase and walked to the door of my room. There he paused with his
hand on the door for several moments, as if gathering himself. Then he
turned back to me.

"Someday, we will have a lot to talk about, Scott. Until then....". And
then he turned back and walked out the door, closing it behind him.

What the FUCK did he mean by that?!

During the first two years that Mike was gone, I got a lot of mail from
him. I learned how grueling and hard boot camp was. I got a picture of what
a "grunt's" life was like. I also got to hear about some of the more
exciting things that he was learning and doing.

He traveled. I got mail from Guam, Singapore, Malaysia, Hong Kong, Japan
and Thailand. He and his buddies traveled all over the Pacific Rim.

I, on the other hand, went no where. My parents went up to the cabin, but I
arranged to be in school so that I couldn't go. The thought of laying alone
in that bed that Mike and I had shared for so many years, was more than I
could bear. I still didn't make any friends at school, still scared that
someone would find out my 'secret'.

High school, of course, is a terrible place to be if you are gay and
completely 'in the closet' about it. The greatest torture, of course, is
gym class. All those beautiful, hard, sweaty teenage male bodies that you
can't stare at - but you want to! All the sexual horseplay that goes
on. All the nasty comments about 'fags' you have to listen to and not say a
word.

Then there is the matter of 'dating'. The mating rituals in any public high
school have more 'rules' and 'protocols' than the Emperor of China's court!
And I, of course, were not interested in any of them. But I knew my parents
were. I overheard several conversations where my father expressed concern
over my lack of interest. My mother, on the other hand, defended me stating
that I was just a 'late bloomer' and was too interested in my studies to be
bothered with all of that 'nonsense'. I always wondered if somehow she knew
all along what was going on with me.  They say that mothers always
know. Especially with sons.

So I went on the same, living my life in solitude. Living only for the
times when letters from Mike would come. Not that they expressed any
heartfelt emotion or anything. But it was contact.  I wrote back what I
could. But what did I have to tell him? I couldn't quite see myself writing
a letter telling him how many times I masturbated thinking of him or how
many wet dreams I had about the two of us together!

We finally got word that Mike was coming home for a long leave. We were all
excited, but I was worried, too. I didn't know what to expect. That last
conversation we had still stuck in my mind. What was it that he wanted to
'talk' about? It was my fervent hope that he had completely forgotten about
the incident.

The day arrived and we all went to the airport to pick him up. We waited at
the gate for him to deplane and I was heady with anticipation. What would
he look like after two years? Will he have changed? Suddenly, through the
crowd - actually above the crowd - I saw his face. But it was a face topped
with almost no hair!!! God! They really cut their hair short in the
Marines!  There was like this narrow band of dark hair on the top of his
head and the sides were almost completely shaved!!! I later learned, of
course, this is what the Marines call "high and tight".

Mike spotted me, and that dazzling grin broke out on his face. We started
running towards each other. He dropped his bag and threw his arms around
me, literally lifting me off the ground in a hug. I felt his ribbons and
medals scratch against my chest, but it was of no consequence to me!  My
brother, the Marine, was home! The love of my very life was here in my
arms! Maybe for only a few moments, but it was enough for me.

Soon we were joined by our parents who bundled us off to the baggage claim
and then we were in the car and out of the airport heading home. The next
few hours were a whirl of presents which Mike had brought us from overseas
and a long dinner with just the 4 of us.

After dinner, I knew that Mike and my parents had things to talk about and
so I headed for my room, as usual, pleading that I had homework. My summer
term was about to end in 3 days and I needed to work on the final papers
due. I knew that Mike would be home for a month. I knew there would be time
for us to be alone. Even though the thought of that filled me with some
dread. It was the strangest feeling I'd ever had. On one hand, I wanted to
be near him. On the other, I didn't want to be within 10 miles of him. It
was the old dilemma all over again. I even began to think maybe it would
have been better if he hadn't come home at all! But even I knew that was a
lie.

It was late that night when I finally heard the sound I had been
dreading. I was just about to put my books away and go to bed when I heard
it - Knock, Knock, tap-tap-tap, Knock. Our old code. I opened there door,
and there stood Mike, no longer in his uniform but in just a pair of white
jockey shorts.

"Can I come in?" he asked, giving me one of his incredible smiles.

"Of course you can. I was just quitting for the night." I said, sweeping my
hand towards all the books on my desk.

"Don't you do anything but study, bro?" he asked me, laughing.

"Not much else. I want to be able to get a scholarship to college and I
know I'm not cut out to go into the armed forces like you and earn the
money for college. So, this is the way I have to do it." I stated.

"Hey! I'm not condemning you. I just wish you'd think about having some fun
sometime." Mike said, taking a seat on my bed.

'Oh, and what kind of fun would you suggest, big brother!' I thought to
myself. 'Should I go and date some stupid cheerleader who doesn't interest
me? Should I go out with my non-existent friends? Or maybe I should be
dating the quarterback of the football team who really DOES interest me?
Which would you prefer?' All this went through my mind in a matter of
seconds.

"I have fun in my own way." I said. And even as I said it, I knew how
incredibly stupid it sounded. But Mike seemed to just ignore it.

"I talked to the folks tonight. They told me that you're gonna be done with
school in a few days.  I asked them if you and me could go up to the cabin
by ourselves for a few days. I haven't been there for 2 years and I missed
it. And I missed you. We could spend time together, just the two of us. Get
re-connected! What do you say?" he grinned at me.

What do I say?!?! How about NO!!! The last thing on earth I want to do is
'spend a few days' alone with you! How the fuck do you think I could stand
that! Alone with you, the one person I love more than anyone and not be
able to touch you or tell you who you really are to me? But even as I
thought this, I heard my mouth saying...

"Yes! That would be wonderful! I'd love to!"

You fucking shithead!!! Now look at what you've done! How the fuck are you
going to get through this one! Why can't you ever think before you let that
mouth of yours start talking!

But it was done. The die was cast, as they say. A few days later, we
borrowed Dad's car and headed up to the cabin. It was late summer, but it
was still warm. We got there about noon and dragged all the stuff that Mom
made us bring out of the car. That took nearly an hour. I put away the food
and asked Mike if he wanted to have lunch.

"Nah! I don't want to eat! I want to swim! Come on while it's still warm
out!" he said, looking at once 20 and 12. Like a big/little kid who was on
summer vacation from school.

"Ok, I know where I packed my swimsuit. Give me a minute to dig it out." I
said, starting toward the duffle bags we dropped inside the front door.

"Whoa!!! What swimsuit! We don't need swimsuits, bro. We'll swim just like
we always did - naked!"

And putting action to words, he began to take off his clothes. First came
the olive green t-shirt, then the jeans and then his white athletic shoes
until there was nothing left but his white jockey shorts.

"Come on. Get a move on! Last one in makes dinner! And you know I can't
cook!"

And saying this, he hooked his fingers into the waistband of his underwear
and pushed them down and stepped out of them. There he stood, the most
incredible vision of maleness I'd ever seen. His shoulders and chest were
broad and thick with muscles. His stomach was a rippling mass of smooth
skin over more muscles and, looking down, his 'male muscle' was hanging at
least 5 inches soft!

I couldn't move! I must have looked like a deer caught in headlights. I
couldn't help but stare at him. Never had I seen a male more beautiful in
my life - and he was my brother!!! He didn't move either. He just stood
there, comfortable in his nudity and let me drink him in. He didn't say a
word, he just smiled at me as my eyes moved over his entire body. Finally,
I looked up into his eyes and saw a very gentle look which I had never seen
before.

"You'd better get undressed if you want to go swimming with me, bro." he
said quietly.

He didn't move however. He had stripped for me, now it was my turn to strip
for him. I couldn't believe that he wanted to see what my body looked like,
but he certainly wasn't heading out the door towards the lake! He was
standing there, almost in anticipation of my revelation.

I slowly pulled my white t-shirt over my head, ashamed at the comparison of
my body to his.  It's not that I didn't have a body. It was just built more
along the lines of a swimmer. Slender and lithe with none of the bulging or
rippling muscles that Mike had. I then lowered my jeans, stepping out of
the pair of boat shoes I was wearing with no socks. My own cock was showing
a little more than it usually did soft only because I was desperately
fighting the arousal that the vision of Mike was causing.

I stood up, afraid that my cock was going to go to its fully aroused state
and looked at Mike. He was obviously drinking in my entire body with his
flashing green eyes. He raked them up and down my body and I thought I saw
his cock begin to thicken and grow. He finally looked into my eyes, holding
me mesmerized by his attention.

"You've grown up, bro!" he said softly. "And quite nicely."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Was Mike pleased with my body? And
why would he be.  Certainly, it couldn't hold any interest for him - not my
All-American heterosexual Marine brother! But his eyes kept telling me a
different story. They showed a great deal of interest in my form. But I
quickly convinced myself that I was wrong. That this couldn't be
happening. I told myself that I was misreading what was happening here.

"Come on, then!" I said, trying to keep my voice under control. "Let's go
swimming!"

Matching actions to words, I ran past him out the door and headed for the
dock. I heard him right behind me as I ran down the weathered boards and
dove into the water. From the corner of my eye, I saw Mike enter the water
almost the same time I did.

The cold water took care of my unruly cock and made it shrivel back down to
its softest state. I struck out swimming for the platform in the middle of
the lake, just like when Mike and I were kids. Only this time, rather than
him beating me there, we reached it almost at the same time. We clung to
the edge of the platform, panting from the exertion. Then Mike reached over
with his large hand and pushed my head under the water. I came up
sputtering and reached over to dunk him. He evaded me, and the chase was
on!

We played and splashed in the lake for quite a while. We acted just like we
were kids again. The warm sun and the sparkling water created a magical
time. A warp in the time/space continuum.  We were alone, together. There
were no other people in the world and we lived within a forever summer
place where we were children together. Forever.

Or at least, that's how it felt for a time.

Finally, Mike swam back to the dock and I followed. I watched his hard,
rippling body climbing out of the lake, sparkling with the drops of water
as they beaded on his skin. I got a magnificent view of his tightly
sculpted ass. I had never seen a male butt more achingly beautiful than
his.  My thoughts started blood flowing to my cock again and I had to look
away and concentrate to hold back on my arousal before climbing out
myself. Thinking, I guess, that I was too tired and needed help climbing
out, Mike reached down his hand to me. Normally, I would have brushed it
away with a snide remark, but this time I didn't. I reached up my hand to
him. With an amazing show of strength, he pulled me completely out of the
water! He reached down with his other arm and put it around my waist and
pulled me onto the dock.

There we stood, his arm around me, holding me against his naked body. If
felt so incredibly natural and so incredibly good! He let go of my hand and
is other arm went around my body. He pulled me tight against him and I
found my arms just natural circled around his strong neck and shoulders.

"I've missed you so much!"

His husky voice sent shivers through my body. I looked up into his eyes. I
didn't know what to say. I knew that something was happening between us,
but as often as I had fantasized being in love with him, I had no idea
about the reality of it. I knew that this was leading somewhere, but I had
no idea where.

"Welcome home." I said quietly.

It was the only thing I could think of to say. It sounded stupid to my own
ears, but his eyes suddenly became misty and he bent down kissed me gently
on the cheek. Just as he had done that last morning before he left when we
were alone in my bedroom.

"You don't know how much I've wanted to hear you say that." he whispered in
my ear.

This was going too fast for me. I knew that if I didn't do something I
would lose all control and my hard-fought mask would fall and Mike would
finally see his brother for what I was - an incestuous queer.

"Aren't you hungry for lunch yet?" I asked, pulling back from his embrace.

He looked at me and gave me a knowing smile. He almost seemed to say 'Ok,
little brother, I'll let you run for a little while longer. But you can't
run for long.'. Instead he nodded his head.

"Yeah! I'm really fuckin' hungry, bro! Race ya' to the kitchen!"

We ran like kids, and just like when we were kids, his long, muscular legs
carried him swiftly to his goal. I was close on his heels, but he clearly
won.

"Ok, I won! YOU have to make lunch!" he exulted.

"Yeah, and just what the fuck were YOU going to do if you lost?! You can't
cook at all!" I grinned at him.

"You'd be surprised what I can do, bro!" he said mysteriously. "I'll get
things put away and our bed made while you fix lunch." he threw over his
shoulder while walking toward the main room of the cabin.

'Our bed' I thought. He means for us to sleep together just like our
parents were here with us.  Just like we'd always done. Just like we did
the last night he was home! I didn't know what to do about that. How could
I pretend to need my own bed suddenly? How could I spend the night so close
to him and not somehow reveal how much I want him?

As I fixed lunch, my mind was whirling with these questions and others like
them. I knew this trip had been a bad idea. I thought I could handle this,
but my ability to handle how I was feeling was rapidly disintegrating! At
all costs, I couldn't let Mike know how I truly felt about him. I couldn't
let him know who I really was and what I really wanted our relationship to
be.

But something kept nagging at the back of my mind. There had been just too
many indications that perhaps Mike shared some of my feelings. That perhaps
he, too, was desirous of a different relationship with me? But deep inside,
I knew I couldn't take the chance to find out! What if I was wrong? I might
loose him forever. He'd never speak to me again. Never have anything to do
with me. And worse, he'd tell our parents just what kind of sick, pervert
they had living under their roof. No, that I couldn't face.

I fixed soup and sandwiches for lunch. At first I thought I'd made too much
but then I remembered I was feeding a Marine and started to worry instead
that there wasn't enough! It didn't matter, Mike could always eat mine. I
wasn't really hungry. The conflicting emotions going on inside of me had
effectively killed any appetite I might have had.

I called Mike to come and eat and he arrived still naked with four bottles
of beer in his hands. I was shocked at first. After all, neither one of us
was drinking age. But, then again, being in the military, nobody refused
Mike anything. As I suspected, Mike wolfed down an amazing amount of
food. I only hoped that we had brought enough to keep him fed for the few
days we were supposed to be up here! He also drank two of the beers. I
managed to get down about half a sandwich and one bottle of beer. And just
that one made me feel a little buzzed.

David looked at me quizzically.

"You Ok, bro? You hardly ate anything!" he asked, concern showing in his
voice.

"No, Mike, I'm fine! I'm just not real hungry. And this beer's made me feel
a little dizzy." I explained.

"You just aren't used to drinking it like I am. Me and my buddies go out
drinking all the time! I forgot you don't." he said apologetically.

"That's Ok. I guess I'm just a nerd at heart. I don't go out drinking. I
spend most of my time studying. I guess I'm pretty boring in comparison to
the guys you hang out with these days." I said.

I don't know where all the self-pity came from all of a sudden. I don't
know why I said those things to Mike. I guess it was the beer making me
maudlin.

"Hey! Bro! Cut that crap out! I'd fucking trade all my buddies and all
those fucking nights drinking and anything else in the whole fucking world
for just one fucking night with you!" he swore at me.

Well, that was a conversation stopper if I'd ever heard one. We sat there
in utter silence, staring at each other. I would bet any amount of money
that the shock on my face was as deep as the red in Mike's, once he figured
out what it was he'd just said.

He got up, grabbed his beer and was out the door before I could bring
myself to react. What the fuck did he mean by all that? What was he trying
to tell me? Was he trying to tell me that he loved me the way I loved him?
No! That couldn't be! That was impossible! My big, masculine, Marine
brother was NOT trying to tell me that he loved me 'that way'!

But it sure sounded like it.

I finally came to my senses and ran out of the house following Mike. I saw
him sitting on the end of the dock. I walked slowly toward him. Something
was NOT right here! His head was down, and his shoulders were shaking. If I
didn't know better, I could swear he was crying!

I sat down beside him on the dock and he instantly turned away from
me. Like he didn't want to see me or have anything to do with me. Or that
he didn't want me to see him.

"Mike, I'm sorry! What did I say? I didn't mean to upset you! Please, look
at me."

He didn't move for quite a while. Finally, he turned toward me and I could
see that I'd been right. He had been crying! Something was definitely wrong
here and I was going to get to the bottom of it no matter what!

"Mike, what the fuck is wrong? Why are you crying? Did I hurt you somehow?
You know I would rather cut off my fucking nuts than ever hurt you, don't
you? Please, for God's sake, tell me what's wrong! Whatever it is, I know
we can fix it!"

And then I did something I rarely ever did, I reached out my hand and I
gently caressed his shoulder. I could feel the hard muscles beneath the
soft velvet of his skin. It was like an electric charge shot up my arm,
down my torso and direct to my cock. I started getting hard almost
immediately. Which is exactly why I tried never to touch Mike. It always
had that reaction in me.

Mike was looking down and must have seen what touching him had done to
me. I started to pull away, but Mike grabbed my hand. He held it tightly in
his iron grip, not so much that it would hurt but so I couldn't pull
away. He looked down at my hand and then looked into my eyes. I know what
he saw there - a mixture of tremendous fear and tremendous desire.

He took my hand which he still held, turned it palm up and gently lowered
his face to it. I felt him kiss the palm of my hand and his tongue slide
out of his mouth and glide over the surface. It was the most erotic and
sensuous thing I'd ever felt in my life. My cock instantly came to full
erection! I just sat there, stunned! What the fuck was Mike doing!

He looked up from my hand and with his eyes locked on mine, brought my hand
to his mouth and slowly sucked my index finger completely into the warm,
wet recess of his mouth. He then began to suck gently on my finger as he
slid it in and out of his mouth, like I was fucking him with it. I closed
my eyes and a moan escaped my lips as I felt this erotic surge go through
me.  No one had ever touched me before in this way. No one had ever made me
feel this way. And the fact that it was my brother Mike, had me almost
shooting my wad without even touching my cock.

Mike evidently was aware of the affect he was having on me. He slid even
closer and put his arm around me, pulling me as close to him as I could
get. Then I felt his gentle, warm breath on my neck seconds before I felt
his mouth lock around my skin and begin sucking on it. I moaned again, this
time even louder while tipping my head back and giving Mike complete access
to my neck. Mike let go of my hand and put both arms around me pulling me
even closer. One hand went to the back of my head and he gently but firmly
turned it so that I was looking directly at him. He leaned forward and he
planted his lips directly on mine. I felt his mouth open against mine and
his tongue begin to insistently press at my lips demanding entrance. I
opened my mouth and his tongue invaded, taking possession of me. I sucked
on his tongue and for the first time tasted my brother. It was so
overwhelming, I thought I was going to faint. Finally, he pulled completely
away. I didn't know what happened. I thought something had gone wrong! I
opened my eyes to see him looking intently at me.

"Now you know what I wanted to talk to you about. Now you know what I've
wanted to tell you for so long now. I'm in love with you, Scott. I don't
know if you can deal with that or not. If you can't, I'll just go away and
you'll never have to see me again. But I can't go on living this lie. I
can't go on not knowing if there is any chance that you might feel the same
way about me.  Please, tell me what you're feeling!" he said, his voice
breaking and tears beginning to start again.

I, too, had tears streaming down my face. And I was too shocked to say a
word. Unfortunately, Mike took this the wrong way. I guess he thought I was
rejecting him because he took his arms from around my body and made as if
to get up. I grabbed him as quickly as I could and hung on.

"No! Mike! Don't go! PLEASE don't go! You don't understand!" I begged.

"Don't understand what? That you don't want a fag Marine for a brother?
That you feel dirty and disgusted by what I just did? What the fuck don't I
understand!" he screamed trying to take my arms from around his neck.

"NO! IT ISN'T LIKE THAT AT ALL!!!!" I screamed at him. "LISTEN TO ME!!!!"

He stopped trying to pull us apart and just sat there. I could almost see
fire in his eyes from his anger.

"Mike, I love you! I've always loved you! Every thing you said to me about
how you felt, I wanted to say exactly those things to you a thousand times!
But your fears were my fears! I thought you wouldn't want anything to do
with a 'fag' brother! I thought you'd reject me, beat the shit out of me
and then tell Mom and Dad what a pervert they had as a son! Why do you
think I hid out in my room all these years! To get good grades??? FUCK NO!
To keep anybody from getting to close to me and finding out what kind of a
perverted little 'fag' I really was! Oh, Mike, don't you see. This is my
fucking dream come true! I never thought there was any chance in the world
that you could love me like I love you! I can hardly believe it right now
sitting here with you touching me! But, for God's sake! Please believe me!
I DO love you! I only hope that I can in anyway measure up to what you want
me to be."

I finally let go of him and I hung my head. I didn't know what else I could
say, what else I could do to convince him of how I felt about him.

Then I felt his arms encircle me once more. I felt his forehead gently rest
on my shoulder and I felt his body shaking as he began to cry again. I put
my arms around him and hugged him fiercely! I held him as tight as my body
had the strength for. And I gently began to rock him back and forth while I
softly spoke to him.

"Oh, Mike, I love you so much. I love you more than life itself! You don't
know how long I've wanted to hold you like this. You don't know how many
years I longed for summer just so that I could sleep in the same bed with
you and feel you close to me."

He stopped crying and looked up at me. He didn't say a word, just gently
put his lips against mine again and kissed me deeply. This time it was my
tongue invading his mouth and him sucking on it. At the same time, he began
to move and before I knew what was happening he had picked me up in his
arms and risen from the dock and was carrying back towards the cabin. He
carried me through the back door, through the main room and directly into
our room and to the bed we had shared all our lives.

He gently lay me on the bed and then he lay down next to me. I quickly
moved back into his arms and he began to stroke me down my naked back and
across my butt cheeks. I moaned and pressed my erection into his abdomen. I
could feel his cock, as rock hard as mine, pressing against me as if we
were dueling with these fleshy swords against each other.

I was shivering in trepidation, however. I had fantasies that I had lived
with for many years. But what I didn't have was any kind of practical
application! I had NEVER had sex with anyone in my life. I was a virgin!

David felt me trembling and pulled his lips from mine. He looked down into
my eyes.

"There's nothing to be afraid of, bro! I swear, I am not going to hurt you!
I'd never hurt you for anything in the world!" Mike said with his voice
husky with desire.

"I'm not afraid of you, Mike. It just that...well...I'm not exactly sure
of..." I stammered, trying to find a way to tell him.

He looked at me in shock.

"Oh my God! You're a virgin!" he exclaimed. "Oh, God, Scott! I had no idea,
bro! I thought surely you must have had some experience with somebody!?"

"No." I said, hanging my head in shame. "There was never anybody I wanted
but you. I suppose eventually someone would have come along. But I only
wanted you."

"You saved yourself for me?" Mike said, a breathlessness of surprise and
pride in his voice. "My God, bro! Do you have any idea how this makes me
feel! How special and loved you have made me feel! What a precious gift
you've given me! God! I don't believe this! You saved yourself for me!
Nobody has EVER done anything that amazing for me in my entire life! Oh,
Scott. I promise I'm going to make this the most wonderful experience of
your life! I will do anything for you!" Mike promised.

"Anything?" I asked.

"Absolutely anything!" he promised.

"Ok, then this is what I want you to do..." I said, looking into his eyes
with a mock fierceness on my face.

"Ya...yeah...bro?" Mike swallowed hard.

"I want you to teach me how to be the best lover you could ever have in
your entire life." I grinned at him.

In rapid succession, the expression on his face went from some concern to
surprise to incredibly loving.

"Oh, I will, bro! I will be happy to!" he said, again taking possession of
my mouth with his.

For the rest of the afternoon and deep into the night, we made love to each
other. The passions, desire and love we had saved for a lifetime were given
free reign. For the rest of the five days that we eventually spent at the
cabin, we were never very far from that bed. During that time, I learned
quite a lot from my obviously very experienced brother who, it seems, had
been having sex with other guys for quite a long time. We both expressed
how much we wished we had been able to breach the wall between us sooner!

As our days together began to draw to a close, Mike expressed to me that he
was not satisfied to just go back to the Marines and only see me on
leave. I told him I didn't want that to happen either, but I didn't know
what I could do about it. He informed me that he had taken a small
apartment off base in San Diego and if I would come and live with him, he
would see that I would be able to go to college there. In fact, he had
brought home with him an application for me for UC/San Diego. Marines
always are prepared for every eventuality.

There was no way, of course for me to say no. I didn't want to live without
Mike and he didn't want to be without me. Our parents took it rather
well. I think they actually believed our story about the educational
opportunities I would have in Southern California. At least Dad did. I
always thought I saw a particular look in Mom's eye that said, "You two
can't fool me. You just want to be together!" but she was even more
supportive of the move than Dad was so I guess she approved.

That was almost 20 years ago. Mike and I are still together. Still as
deeply in love as we have always been. And he is still the only guy I've
ever loved or ever shared a bed with. I have stayed faithful to him all
these years. Not because he wants me to be but because, there still is no
other man in the world that I love.

And now, it is so wonderful to meet him at the door to our house and say,
"Welcome home!"

THE END

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