Date: Thu, 6 Mar 2008 12:18:56 -0800 (PST)
From: rimpigfl <rimpigfl@yahoo.com>
Subject: A CONVICT BROTHER-BUCKY

Dedication: This story is dedicated to all the members of the RimPig's
Stories Yahoo Group and the Bobby Michaels' Novels Yahoo Group in gratitude
for all their care and concern for me in all the difficulty I've had in the
last year.

A CONVICT BROTHER: BUCKY
by RimPig   2008

My older brother was always a hell-raiser. Not mean, just a boy with too
much testosterone and too much energy. Momma and Daddy warned him over and
over that he was going to get into real trouble but Bucky would just laugh
and off he'd go.

I think what really worried Momma and Daddy was the influence that Bucky
had on me. I was four years younger and I worshiped the ground myolder
brother walked on. He was, without doubt,the coolest guy in the world. At
least to my mind.

Bucky and I had great relationship as brothers. When I was younger, he
protected me from bullies and such and, when I got scared in the middle of
the night, it was in his bed, pressed up against his strong, warm body that
I found comfort. Bucky would hold me in his arms and I would smell his
scent. That scent meant love, comfort and protection to me when I was
young. It was easy for us to be close as brothers because we shared a
bedroom all our lives. Bucky's role was as protector and comforter, my role
was to do anything and everything that Bucky told me to do. I was always
his eager little slave.

Bucky taught me to hunt and fish, just like Daddy done him but he also
taught me, as I got older, that my dick was for more than pissin' out
of. When I was ten, Bucky taught me how to jack-off by jacking off with
me. He even let me feel up his cock so I could see what it was like. It was
like mine but it was so much better because it was so much bigger and
thicker. Bucky promised mine would be like his when I was his age.

As I grew older and went into puberty I noticed that my feelings for my
brother were changing. I noticed the beautiful muscles that covered his
arms, his chest, and his thighs. I noticed, particularly the thick, long
cock that hung over his balls and the beautiful butt that had a light
dusting of hair up the crack. I also noticed his scent - that strong,
pungent smell of maleness that maturing males exude. A scent that drove me
crazy.

But there were other feelings, feelings that I didn't know what to do
with. The fact of the matter was that I had discovered that not only was I
attracted to other guys, I was in love with one - and he was my own
brother. The only way I knew to deal with that was to bury as deep inside
me as I could and never let him know my true feelings for him.

I was sixteen when things started to go really wrong. The doctors
discovered that Momma had cancer but it was too late. It had already
spread. My father sat Bucky and me down and told us the truth - that Momma
had probably less than a year.

We each reacted to this news in our own way. Daddy buried himself in caring
for Momma. I buried myself in me and Bucky's room, reading, surfing on the
computer, jacking off - anything to get my mind off what was happening.

Bucky seemed to take it the worst of all of us. His hell-raisin' hit levels
which they'd never hit before. Finally, the worst thing of all
happened. One night, the police called the house to tell us they had Bucky
and two of his friends in jail. Daddy wouldn't go down and bail Bucky out,
though. Daddy said that, "The boy needs to learn a lesson."

For three days, Bucky was in jail but I wasn't allowed to see him because I
was too young. The day he was arraigned, I went to the court by myself
without Momma and Daddy. Momma was in bad shape and Daddy stayed home to be
with her. I was shocked to see my beloved brother brought in an orange
jumpsuit and shackles. Gone was the devil-make-care' smile that was always
on his lips. Instead he looked haunted and scared.  I think that shook me
up more than anything - I'd never seen my older brother scared of anything.

The public defender pleaded Bucky and his friends guilty because they were
caught trying to steal beer from a convenience store. The store's video
cameras had all the evidence the prosecution needed to put all three of
them away.

The judge sentenced them to two years in the state prison. At that point,
Bucky and his friends were grabbed by guards who went to move them out of
the courtroom.

I knew this was my last chance. I ran forward only to be stopped by one of
the guards.

"He's my brother!" I pleaded with the guard, pointing to Bucky.

The guard looked at the line of prisoners where I was pointing. He called
over to one of the other guards to pull Bucky out of line and to bring him
over. Bucky shuffled over to me, the shackles not allowing him to walk with
the male swagger that was so typical for him. As he got close, I could tell
from the strength of his scent that he had not been allowed to shower for
the time he'd been in jail. I certainly didn't mind! The stronger his
scent, the more I loved it. I just didn't want him to know that.

The guards put us together than kind of turned their back so we could have,
at least, the appearance of privacy.

"Hey, bro." I said hesitantly.

He looked at me and I could see the deep misery in his eyes. Eyes so blue
they looked like two pools that I would love to skinny dip in.

He reached out his shackled hand, wanting to touch me. I moved forward and
ducked under his handcuffs and stood up within his arms. He hugged me close
to him, burying his face in my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around him and
could feel him shaking in my arms as he cried silently. He wrapped his arms
around me and pulled me tightly to his body.

"Tell Momma and Daddy I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. I'm
sorry too because I'm going to miss you something fierce. Tell me you don't
hate me, bro. Tell me you won't forget about me."

"I'd never forget about you, bro. I promise, I'll write all the time and
I'll come and see you if they let me."

"Oh fuck, Shane. I love you. I really do and when I get out I'm gonna prove
it to you."

At that, the guards pulled us apart and took Bucky away through a pair of
double doors where I'd seen them take other prisoners.

I was in the most misery I'd ever been in, in my life. I'd never been
without Bucky and now I was going to have to be without him for two
years. Worse, Bucky was going to be locked up in prison. I'd read stories
about what happened to guys in prison. It wasn't pretty. I was scared for
my brother because he was tough and he wasn't about to let anyone use him
as a "punk". But that meant he would have to fight and he would have to
fight a lot. The possibility of him being severely injured was always
there.

It was a month before Bucky was allowed visitors. It was lucky that Bucky
got placed in Waters State Prison in the next town west of where we
lived. There was a special bus that I could catch and it would take me in
time for visiting hours and bring me back when they were over. My father
tried to forbid me from going but my mother told him to leave me alone. I
had no th intention of listening to him, anyway and I think she knew that.

The people on the bus all had someone at the prison they were
visiting. What surprised me at first was how few there were on the bus. The
bus was never more than half full. I guessed that over time and multiple
incarcerations, prisoners alienate their families and friends. I couldn't
imagine that happening to me. No matter what Bucky did, I would never stop
loving him, never stop being there for him just as he'd always been for me.

The ride on the bus to the prison was a very quiet and lonely one. No one
on the bus spoke to anyone else. Almost all of them were women, evidently
visiting husbands or boyfriends. I felt funny at first, wondering if they
thought I was visiting a male lover. Not that I didn't wish, in so many
ways, that was the case.

When we reached the prison I just followed the group of women, most of whom
seemed to know just where to go. We all had to produce photo identification
for a guard who checked your name off a list of approved visitors for a
prisoner and then whatever you had with you was searched.  You were allowed
to bring certain things for the prisoner but it had to be given to the
guards to give to them, you were not allowed to give it to them yourself.

I had brought shampoo, some magazines and some books that Bucky had asked
for. There was taken by the guards and put into a box with Bucky's name on
it and then placed on a flat-bed cart along with other boxes filled with
stuff with other prisoner's names on them.

Each of us had to go through metal detectors just like you see at a
courthouse before we were all taken to what was evidently a room
specifically for visitations. Luckily, even though this was a maximum
security prison, we were allowed to touch the prisoners, especially to hug
them at the beginning and end of the visit. There were rules, however,
governing how much touching could go on. Basically nothing sexual or
salacious. However, as much as I might have wished, Bucky and I didn't have
that type of relationship. It was worth the months' wait, though, and the
long bus ride just to feel his arms around me again, however briefly. That,
and to smell his scent again.

I'd found a pair of his briefs and one of his heavily soiled T-shirts in
our room after he went to jail and I was doing what laundry he'd left
behind. I put them in a large zip-lock bag and hid it under my
mattress. Whenever I was missing Bucky, or when I was jacking off, I'd pull
them out and snort his scent. But they didn't compare to this scent, alive
and warm, that I could smell while his strong, muscular arms were wrapped
around me.

There were folding chairs so we grabbed two and pulled them over near a
wall, away from the other prisoners and their visitors, so we could have
some semblance of privacy. I guess everyone had that idea because there
were small knots of prisoners and their visitors spread around the room,
each as far from each other as they could get. Bucky and I sat there, for a
few minutes, not saying anything -- seeming to not know what to say to each
other.

I could see something I'd never seen before, however, Bucky had a haunted,
hunted look on his face and in his eyes. It was like he was constantly on
the lookout for an attack which might come from anyone at anytime. I
figured it must be what prison was like and I ached inside for Bucky at
having to endure this.

"So, how's mom?" Bucky's voice pulled me out of my thoughts abruptly.

"Uhh she's okay. Not any better but not any worse either. She goes back to
the hospital next week for chemo again."

"They say anything about me?"

"Mom told me to tell you she loves you and misses you."

"Yeah. What about the old man? He say anything."

"Uhh no." I said quietly.

I didn't want to tell Bucky about the fight we almost got into over me
coming to see him.

"He didn't want you to come, did he?"

I looked at him in surprise. How did he know?

"Don't look surprised. I ain't no fuckin' mind reader. I just know him. He
hates my guts because I've brought public disgrace on the family name. Fuck
all that I'm sitting here in fucking prison paying my debt to society',
he's never going to fucking forgive me."

"It doesn't matter. I forgive you. I forgive you and love you and miss you
something awful." I blurted out.

Bucky reached out and gently put his hand on my shoulder.

"I know you do, Shane. I'd go completely fucking mental in here if I didn't
believe that. I can't believe that you write me every day. You gotta have
something better to do than write letters to a fuckin' con."

"I'm not writing letters to a con'. I'm writing them to my brother." I said
quietly.

He looked at me in surprise and then sheepishly smiled at me.

"Well, there aren't many out there who would feel that way, bro. Most of
them, when I get out, are just gonna see a con."

"I don't give a fuck what anybody else sees. It's what I see that counts."

"Yeah well, not when it comes to getting a job and such. I've pretty much
fucked myself there.  All people are going to see is that I have a record
and I've done time."

"Maybe not, bro. Maybe someone will help you get a job."

At this, Bucky gave a rueful laugh.

"Yeah, right. Like anybody's going to do fuck for me. I'd be lucky to get a
job washing dishes."

"Even if all you're doing is washing dishes, it's still a job. It's still
an honest living."

"Yeah, but it sure as fuck ain't nothing to be proud of."

"I'd be proud of you. Even if all you were doing was washing dishes."

Bucky looked at me with surprise for a moment and then he gave me a small
smile.

"I'm so glad that you're my brother. Ain't nobody else that cares about
me."

"That's not true. Mom cares."

"Mom doesn't write, doesn't call, nothin'. But I don't blame her. After
all, she's got her own problems."

"That doesn't mean she doesn't care."

"No, it just means that she cares - but not all that much. I'm not mad. It
only makes sense, bro. If I had cancer, I don't know if I'd much care about
a fuck-up like me either."

"You're not a fuck up! You fucked up."

"What the fuck is the difference?"

"People fuck up all the time. Sometimes meaning to, other times not meaning
to at all."

" You gotta know, I didn't mean to fuck-up.  It wasn't even my idea."

" I know that.  It wouldn't be like you at all to do those kind of things.
I know you raised hell, but that's all.  You were never mean or cruel.  You
just went too far."

" Well you're just about the only one that believes that."

For the next 2 hours, we just sat and talked mostly about what was going on
in my life.  I did notice and mentioned to Bucky and it seemed like he had
put on a lot more muscle.  He told me that recreation in the yard consisted
mostly of weightlifting.  He told me he was lifting about 2 hours every
day.  He told me it was important because the more muscle he had, the less
chance there was of someone wanting to take him on.

For 18 months I went and visited Bucky every month.  On my last visit,
Bucky informed me that he was going to be released early because of good
behavior.  He would be released in two weeks.  I could see however, that
rather than being happy about it he seemed to be worried about being
released.  I asked him what was the problem and he told me that he didn't
have anywhere to go.

" What do you mean no place to go?"

"Well I can't very well come home."

"Why the fuck not?"

"You know why the fuck not."

" No I don't."

" You know that daddy is never gonna let me come home.  Not after what I
done. He's never gonna let no jailbird live in his house."

" Don't worry about that.  Momma ain't gonna let him throw you out."

" Momm ain't gonna have no choice.  I don't wanna live in the same house
with that man.  I don't want to listen to any of his crap.  And you know,
I'd have to listen to it all the time about me going to jail."

" So what are you gonna do?"

" Before I went to prison, I was able to put some money away.  I'm sure I
can get a room somewhere at least until I can get a job."

" I've got a better idea.  I've already got a job working at the hardware
store.  We can get an apartment together.  I've been wanting to move out.
I just didn't want to be alone."

" Are you sure?"

" I'd sure as fuck rather live with you that anyone else I know."

Bucky sat there for a few moments just looking at me.  It was like he was
trying to see if I was telling the truth or not.  Finally, a slow grin and
came over his face.

" Are you sure you're not worried about what folks will say about you
living with the convict?"

" No, because I ain't livin' with no convict.  I'm livin' with my brother."

" I keep telling you, other folks aren't gonna see it that way."

"And I keep telling you, I don't give a fuck what other people think.  You
are my brother brother and I love you.  Nothing and nobody is going to
change that."

Bucky gave me a look that was so full of love it practically took my breath
away.

" I don't know what I have ever done to deserve having you as a brother.
You used to be a real proud of me.  And trust me, I'm going to do
everything I can to make you proud of me again."

" That won't be hard, I never stopped being proud of you."

I spent the next week searching for an apartment for Bucky and me.  It
wasn't easy finding something we could afford.  Finally if I'd met an old
lady named Mrs. Rogers who had a one bedroom apartment over her garage that
she was willing to rent at a price we could afford.  I don't know why I did
it, but I told her about Bucky being in prison.  I guess I just wanted to
head off any problems about that before they happened.  I was surprised,
she was very understanding.  She told me that she believed every one
deserved a second chance.  I told her that I hoped other people were as
forgiving as she was because Bucky was going to need to find a job and
there weren't a lot of people who would hire someone who'd been in prison.
She smiled at me and said that maybe she could help with that as well.  I
asked her what she meant.

" My brother has a factory on the edge of town.  When he was about your
brother's age he got into trouble went to jail.  Our father disowened him
for the shame he brought on our family.  Ever since then, my brother has
always offered jobs to anyone getting out of jail who really wants to
work."

" Do you think your brother would hire my brother?"

" I don't see why not.  If your brother is willing to work, my brother will
be glad to hire him."

Because it wasn't a visiting day, there was no bus to the prison the day
that Bucky was released.  I was bound and determined however, to be the
first person that saw him as he walked out of prison.  I got up early that
morning and walked to the edge of town.  That I started hitchhiking, and I
caught a ride all the way to the prison with a very nice couple.  I had to
stand there about half an hour waiting for them to release Bucky.  But
finally the gates swung open and Bucky walked through them.  I ran to him
and he grabbed me up in his arms hugging me so tight that I could barely
breathe.  I didn't mind, to tell the truth, I would have gladly spend the
rest of my life in his arms.

Bucky and I hitched a ride back to town and I took him to the apartment.
It was small; just a kitchen, a living room, bedroom and bathroom.  Lucky,
however, Bucky kept telling me how wonderful it was.  I guess after being
locked up in a cell it would seem pretty spacious.  There was one thing
about the apartment that I worried about and that was the fact that there
was only a queen-sized bed in the bedroom.

" I'm sorry about the bed, the apartment came that way."

" It's okay, Shane.  We can sleep together.  I don't mind."

" Are you sure?  I mean I guess we can get a couple of other beds."

" No, I really don't mind, that is, unless you do."

" I don't mind.  After all, God knows we slept together enough times when I
was little."

" Yeah, I guess we did at that.  Did I ever tell you, how wonderful it made
me feel that you trusted me to take care of you when you were scared?"

" No, you never did."

" It always made me feel real strong, like I was grown up.  I really loved
holding you in my arms."

I always knew how much I loved having Bucky hold me in his arms, but up
until that moment, I had no idea he felt the same way.  Well, maybe not
exactly the same way.  I didn't think that Bucky wanted me in the same way
that I wanted him.

We spent some time unpacking Bucky's things.  Mine were already moved in.
I had started moving them the day that I rented the apartment from
Mrs. Rogers.  Daddy, of course, was really upset about me moving out,
especially because I was moving in with Bucky.  He told me I was gonna end
up in prison just like him.  Momma, on the other hand, told me she was glad
I was moving in with my brother so that he wouldn't be all alone.

After we got Bucky unpacked, I took him over to meet Mrs. Rogers.  She told
me she had called her brother, and he was expecting Bucky at the factory
tomorrow morning for an interview.

" Do you really think it'll give me a job?"

" Like I told your brother, if you're willing to work, he'll hire you."

" I don't know how to thank you for this," Bucky said.

" Young man, I happen to believe that everyone deserves a second chance no
matter what they've done."

When we left Mrs. Rogers house, I asked Bucky what he wanted to do.  He
told me he wanted to do the one thing that he couldn't do when he was in
prison.  I asked him what that was and he told me it was taking a walk.  I
told him that sounded like a good idea.  We walked into town and went past
the hardware store where I worked.  Next door there was an ice cream
parlor.  Bucky pulled me inside, and ordered two hot fudge sundaes for us.
He told me that he had't had ice cream since before he went to prison.  I
watched him as he ate his sundae and the looks on his face were like that
of a little kid.  I was so happy to see him happy and smiling again.  It
warmed my heart and almost brought tears to my eyes.

When we got back to the apartment, I made dinner for us.  I had stocked the
kitchen with groceries so even though we didn't have a lot of money, we
would at least eat good.  Bucky went on and on about how everything I
cooked tasted so good.

" I'm not that good cooking." I explained to him.

" You don't understand, you're a damn sight better than those fucking cooks
in prison."

" I'm not as good as momma."

" Nobody's as good as momma.  But I guess she's not as good as she used to
be any more."

" No, she's not.  It seems like as she's gotten sicker, she just can't do
things the way she used to."

After dinner we sat in the living room on the couch next to each other and
watch TV for a while.  When it got to be about 11:00 PM, Bucky's stood up
and said it was time for bed.  I followed him into the bedroom, and started
taking off my clothes.  I got down to my briefs and suddenly stopped.
Because Bucky had always slept in the nude I learn to do so too.  But I
didn't know if he still slept that way or not.  I looked over at him and he
was down to his briefs too.

" Do do you still sleep naked?" I asked him.

" I didn't dare while I was in prison, but I'm sure as fuck gonna do so
now.  You still do don't you?"

" Yeah, I still do." I said slipping down my briefs.

We climbed into bed and I have to admit what I really wanted to do was
slide over into Bucky's arms.  But I did know how he would take that.  So
it came as a true surprise when Bucky said to me, " You gonna sleep all the
way over there?".

I looked over at him and he had his arm reached out waiting for me to slide
over.  I slid over and he were wrapped his muscular arm around me as I lay
my head on his muscular chest.  His scent surrounded me and I breathed
deeply of it.  This was not the smartest thing I'd ever done because as
soon as his scent hit me, I started getting a hard on.  Worse, because of
the way I was laying, my hard on was pressed up against Bucky's leg.  I
knew he had to feel it but he didn't say anything he merely leaned over and
kissed me gently on the forehead.

" Goodnight Shane, I love you."

" Goodnight Bucky, I love you." I said, and then kissed his chest.

I didn't think I'd be able to go to sleep very quickly considering I was
wrapped in Bucky's arms and I had a hard on.  Usually, that would mean I'd
have to jack off before I could get to sleep.  But I'd barely closed my
eyes when I must've dropped off.

I don't know how long I'd been asleep but I suddenly woke up to the feeling
of someone kissing me on the mouth.  I open my eyes and it was Bucky.  I
was lying on my back and he was laying over me.  I reached up and wrapped
my arms around his neck continuing to kiss him.

" I thought you were never gonna wake up."

" Why are you kissing me?"

" Do you remember when I left for prison?  I told you then that when I got
home I'd prove to you how much I loved you.  If you don't feel the same way
about me, I'll stop."

" No...  It isn't that.  I just didn't think you could ever feel the same
way about me that I felt about you."

" I guess I hid the fact that I love you better than you did."

" You mean you knew all along?"

" I could see it in your eyes every time you looked at me."

" So why didn't you ever say anything?"

" I figured you tell me when you are comfortable with it."

" I always figured you'd hate me if you found out."

" Shane, you're my brother, I could never hate you.  No matter what."

" So you're glad that I love you?"

" More than I can ever tell you.  I was scared for a long time that you
could never feel about me the way I felt about you.  I knew that you would
let me make love to you, because you always did anything I wanted you to.
But I didn't want it to be that way.  I wanted you to want me to make love
to you."

" There's just one problem..."

" What's that?"

" I don't know how."

" What do you mean you don't know how?"

" I mean, I don't know how.  I've never had sex in my life."

" Never?  Not with anybody?"

" Never.  Not with anybody.  I never wanted to except with you."

" You mean you waited on me?  What would you have done if I hadn't wanted
to make love with you?"

" I never thought that far."

" Well, trust me, you don't have to worry about it."

And with this Bucky's started kissing me again.  This time, his kisses were
deeper and far more passionate.  I felt his tongue licking against my upper
lip.  I wasn't exactly sure what he wanted but I took the chance and
slightly opened my mouth.  This was evidently the right thing to do because
I immediately felt Bucky's tongue shove its way into my mouth.  I started
sucking on it and suddenly both of us were moaning into each other's
mouths.

The kiss lasted until I nearly didn't have any breath left.  Finally, Bucky
pulled back from the kiss and then began licking down my neck to my chest.
His mouth moved over until he was licking and sucking on one of my nipples.
The feelings that it sent through me almost had me the rising vertically
from the bed, they were so intense.  I was moaning loudly as I grabbed hold
of Bucky's head.  At first, I tried to pull his mouth away but the feelings
were so good he eventually was pulling on his head to keep his mouth on my
nipple.

" You like that, huh?" Bucky asked, finally pulling back from my nipple.

" Oh, fuck yeah!  That felt better than anything I've ever felt before."

" Well, just hang on.  There's a lot more things I'm gonna show you and
each one of them feels better than the last.  Trust me?"

" Of course I trust you."

Bucky lowered his head and continued licking down my body.  He licked
across my abs and down into my pubic bush.  I could hear him taking deep
breaths of my scent down there.  I made a slight noise of surprise at this.

Bucky and looked up at me and grinned, " Did you think you were the only
one that got off on scents?"

" How did you know?"

" Because I could hear you breathing my scent in every time you got close
to me."

Bucky moved down between my legs and began snorting and licking at my
balls.  I was thrashing on the bed going crazy from all the good feelings
that Bucky was causing in my body.

Finally, Bucky's stopped licking my balls and I figured that he would now
moves up and start sucking my cock.  I could have been more wrong.  Instead
of moving up the reached under my spread legs raising them up and pushing
them back to my chest.  This gave him complete access to my balls and ass.
I couldn't understand what he was doing, until I felt something wet and
rough sliding up my ass-crack.  I looked down between my legs and could see
Bucky's head moving up and down.

" What the fuck are you doing?"

" What does it feel like?"

" Like you're licking my ass."

" That's what I'm doing.  Do you like it?"

" Fuck yeah.  Do I get to do that to you?"

" Sure you do.  Anytime you want."

Bucky put his face back in my butt.  I lay there as he nibbled, licked, and
sucked on my hole.  Slowly, my ass began to loosen and I could feel his
tongue sliding up inside me.  He started moving it in and out kind of like
a small cock fucking me.  I'd never felt anything like it in my life.  The
more his tongue went in and out of me, the more my ass yearned for
something bigger.  I wanted Bucky to fuck me, but I was afraid to ask.
Finally, his tongue was driving me crazy and I couldn't take any more.

" Bucky, please, fuck me!" I begged.

" Are you sure, Shane?"

" No, I'm not sure.  I just know my ass wants something bigger in it.  You
do want to fuck me, don't you?"

" I want to more than anything in the world.  But I don't want to hurt you.
I know I'm pretty big and maybe we should wait."

" What are we waiting for?  For you to get smaller?  You're still going to
be the same size no matter when we do it.  So why not just get it over
with?"

" Okay, you've got a point.  We can try it but if it's too painful for you,
tell me and I'll stop."

I guess there were some things that Bucky didn't know about me.  One of
them was how much I loved him and wanted to give him pleasure.  There was
no way in hell, no matter how bad it hurt, that I was going to tell him to
stop.

" Do you have any lube?"

" Yeah, there's some in the drawer over there." I said, pointing at the
bedside table.

Bucky got up off the bed and went over to the drawer.  He found my bottle
of Astroglide which I sometimes used to jack off.  He got back on the bed
between my legs again and started spreading the lube all over my hole.  He
then slowly inserted his finger until I was buried in my ass.  He gently
moved it around inside me until he brushed up against something that made
me see stars not to mention almost cum.

" What the fuck was that?!"

" That's your prostate.  When my cock rubs up against it I can make you cum
without even touching yourself."

" You just nearly did." I told him.

He continued moving his finger in and out of my ass, slowly adding one and
then two more fingers.  He taught me to take deep breaths and to push out
on my ass muscles to relax and be able to take all three fingers at once.
Pretty soon, he was working all three fingers in and out of me and it was
feeling really good.

" I think I've got you as open as I can get you." Bucky said.

He got up on his knees and start and lubing up his cock.  Knowing it was
going up my little asshole made it look really huge.  I knew Bucky would be
gentle but something that big going in a hole that had previously been exit
only did cause me to have second thoughts.  But, I also remembered the
feeling of his fingers working inside me, how good they felt, and how much
I wanted something bigger.

Bucky brought the large head of his cock to the opening of my body and then
bent over me and began kissing me passionately.  As he did so, I felt the
gentle pressure of his cock against my hole.  Luckily, I remembered to push
out with my muscles so that it would make it easier for his cock to enter
me.  At first, my hole resisted but then I felt the head of his cock pop
inside and begin slowly sliding deep inside me.  Bucky took it slowly,
barely moving.  My ass channel seem to open up and swallow his cock.  The
deeper he went, the better it felt.  I found myself sucking on his tongue
and groaning loudly at the feelings that we're going through me.

Finally, I felt something tickling the outside of my ass hole.  I reached
down between us and discovered that it was Bucky's pubic hair.  His entire
cock was inside me.

Bucky broke the kiss and looked down at me.  " Fuck!  You are so fucking
hot and tight inside!"  Bucky murmured to me.

Buckey's slowly began to fuck me, moving his cock out of me just a few
inches, and then sliding slowly back inside.  Intense pleasure shot through
me every time his cock slid against my prostate and I groaned.

" Am I hurting you?" Bucky asked.

" No!  Your cock feel so fucking good inside me!" I assured him.  " Please!
Fuck me harder!"

" Are you sure?"

" Oh, fuck yeah!"

Bucky began to pick up speed, drawing his cock further and further out of
my ass until only the head stayed inside.  He began to really slam his cock
harder and harder into my hole on a each reentry.  The large head of his
cock was clipping my prostate each time it passed it both in and out.  My
cock was hard and dripping cock snot all over my abs.  Bucky notice this
and I saw him reach down and dip his fingers in the puddle of clear fluid.
He brought his fingers to his mouth sucking my pre-cum, off them.  " Sweet!
Just like I thought it would be." Bucky said and winked at me.  I was
somewhat taken aback by this because while I had tasted my own pre-cum I
had never tasted anyone else's and it surprised me that Bucky would want to
taste mine.

By this point, however, I was too close to cumming do think much about it
and the mad abandon with which Bucky was fucking me made me think he was
close too.  Bucky groaned loudly and slammed his cock hard into my ass
seeming to want to get it as deep as he possibly could in my body.  I then
felt his cock begin to jerk inside of me and I somehow knew that he was
cumming.  The jerking of his cock inside of me hit my prostate just right
so that I started cumming too.  I was groaning so loud I was practically
screaming.  " Fuck!  Fuck!  Oh!  Fuck!" I shot harder than I'd ever shot in
my life.  In fact, the first two shots went completely over my head.  The
rest of my load painted my face, neck and chest.  Bucky's load must've been
huge as well because I could feel it dripping out of my ass as his cock
continued to move slightly in and out.

Bucky collapsed on me with a groan and I wrapped my arms around his hot
sweaty body.  His scent and the scent of our fucking were like an
aphrodisiac to me.  I'd just gotten off and yet my cock wouldn't go soft.
It was still rock hard and rubbing against Bucky's abs.  Bucky murmured to
me, " Doesn't that thing ever get soft?"

" Not when your this close to me, it doesn't."

" Well, I'd offer to fuck you again but my dick needs time to recover.
Maybe you'd like a blow job instead?"

" Oh!Fuck, yeah!"

" Somehow I figured that." Bucky grinned at me.

I leaned down and began licking all the cum off my face.  When he'd
finished, he pressed his mouth against mine and when I opened he let my cum
drip from his mouth into mine.  Of course, this didn't bother me I off in
ate my own cum after I jacked off.  At tasting at from Bucky's mouth made
it seem all the more wonderful.

Bucky move down my body, licking and kissing all over it until he reached
the point where he could slide his mouth down my cock.  As the warm wetness
enveloped my cock I nearly passed out from the intense pleasure of the
feelings.  'No wonder guys are always talking about blow jobs!' I thought
to myself.  'This is way the fuck better then jacking off.'

I could feel the suction up Bucky's mouth and the intense contact of his
tongue against my cock as he licked and sucked me.  I knew that it was not
going to take long for me to cum again regardless of the fact that I'd just
gotten off.

Bucky moved his head down so that he swallowed all of my cock.  As the head
of my cock slid into his tight throat, I groaned deeply.  I had no idea how
he was able to do this without choking but I was bound and determined that
this was something I was going to learn how to do.  As I got closer and
closer to orgasm, I found myself grabbing Bucky's head while I thrust my
hips up basically fucked his mouth with my cock.  I just couldn't help
myself.  My climax hit and I felt myself spewing my boy cum into Bucky's
mouth who swallowed it down greedily.

That second orgasm really did me in.  I don't ever remember being so
exhausted in my life Bucky gently pulled me into his arms and allowed me to
cuddle up to him and I was very quickly asleep.

I slept through the rest of the night and was awoken the next morning by
the smell of coffee brewing and bacon frying.  I stumbled out of bed naked
just the way I had slept and walked into the kitchen.  There was Bucky
standing in front of the stove and fixing breakfast.  He must have heard me
stumble in.  He looked at me grinning and said, " Well at least part of you
is up this morning." I looked down at where he was looking and could see
that my hard cock was sticking out perpendicular to my body.  I don't see
how it could have but my cock must've stayed hard all night long.  Bucky
was naked too and I walked over and slipped my arms around him holding
myself to his back.  He turned in my arms and lifting my chin with his
fingers gently kissed my mouth.  " good morning, bro.  Sleep okay?"

" I always sleep good when I'm sleeping with you."

" Well, that's the way you're gonna be sleepin' from now on so you just
might as well get used to it."

" So what are your plans for today?" I asked Bucky.

" I've got that interview at the plant for a job this morning.  The one
that Mrs. Rogers arranged.  I just hope her brother will hire me."

" I don't see why he wouldn't.  Mrs. Rogers said that his only requirement
is that someone be willing to work.  You're more than willing.  He'll see
that.  And you'll get the job."

" I sure hope you're right.  Having a job would make things a damn sight
easier."

After breakfast what I really wanted was to go back to bed and have Bucky
fuck my brains out again but that didn't happen.  Bucky immediately headed
off to the job interview.  While that was and what I wanted, I had to admit
that I was very proud of him for making such an effort to become gainfully
employed.  That kind of determination, to do the right thing was what I
have always respected Bucky for.  It was, unfortunately, one of the really
honorable things about Bucky, something that daddy never would see.  Maybe
if he did, he wouldn't be so down on Bucky.

Later that morning, while I was cleaning the house, I heard Bucky coming up
the steps to the apartment.  He was whistling, something I hadn't heard him
do since before he went to prison.  He came in the door and he was wearing
the biggest grin.

" So you got the job?"

" I not only got the job, but because of the work I did in prison
Mr. Thompson said he is gonna make me a foreman."

" Oh my God!  That's wonderful.  When do you start?"

" I start tomorrow.  I have to go through five days of training and then
I'll be placed as a foreman somewhere in the factory"

" So how much will you be making?"

" Mr. Thompson told me that I'll be making $500 a week."

" That means you'll be making $300 a week more than I do."

" That's OK.  This just means that we have a better life.  Hell, that means
I can afford to get a car.  We won't have to walk everywhere."

" Bucky, I've been thinking about something.  You told me that you could
tell that I loved you just by the way I looked at you.  Aren't other people
going to notice that when we're together?  Aren't they going to figure out
that there is something more between us than just being brothers?"

" Don't worry about that.  The way I see it, most people are too wrapped up
in themselves to really notice what's going on around them.  All they'll
see is that we care about each other.  And since we're brothers they'll see
that as perfectly normal."

" I sure hope you're right."

" Just trust me, Shane.  I've thought a lot about this, too.  I know that
what we feel at about each other society considers wrong.  It's bad enough
us both being male but being brothers makes it doubly worse.  There aren't
a lot of people who are going to be able to accept how we feel about each
other."

" So what are we going to do if somebody finds out?"

" Let's not go looking for trouble.  Let's cross that bridge if we ever
have to."

" I just hope we never do."

Life went on pretty good for a long time.  With Mr. Thompson's help Bucky
was able to buy a brand new truck.  One afternoon Bucky drove us to a used
car lot.

" I want you to pick out a car for yourself." Bucky said.

" I can't afford a car one wouldn't do me any good anyway." I said.

" Don't worry about that.  I'm going to buy it for you."

" It won't do any good."

" Why not?"

" Because I can't drive."

" What do you mean you can't drive?"

" I can't drive.  I never learned how."

" Didn't you take Driver's Ed in high school?"

" No, Daddy wouldn let me.  He said I was too young to be driving around on
my own."

Follow this trail down his five-also feel as far as I am as" What in an
asshole!  We're goin' right down to the driver's license bureau and get you
the book so you can take the written test.  Once you have your learner's
permit, I'm gonna teach you how to drive."

And that's exactly what Bucky did.  In less than two weeks, we were back at
the used car lot and I was picking out my first car.  Actually, it wasn't a
car.  Just like Bucky, I got a pickup truck.  I guess you could say we
became at two truck family.

Actually, except for going to work, I hardly used my truck at all.  Other
than work, Bucky and I went everywhere together, most times in his truck.
I didn't mind because I would rather be with Bucky than alone.

Bucky made love to me every night.  Sometimes in the morning as well.  I
would wake up feeling Bucky sliding his well greased cock up my ass.  It is
the most wonderful thing in the world to wake up that way.  I did
eventually learn how to take Bucky's cock down my throat as well, but that
took a lot more instruction than even learning to drive.

My education in cock sucking started the second night that we were
together.  I had wanted to taste Bucky's cock for a very long time.  Now, I
had the opportunity and the permission to do so.  As soon as we had gotten
in bed, I had curled up to Bucky with his arm around me again.  This time,
however, I let my hand to start a roving over Bucky's muscular body.
Bucky's chest was mostly smooth, but there was a small patch of hair
between his pecs that started a thin trail of hair that lead down to his
navel.  I later learned that this is called a " treasure trail".  I let my
hand follow this trail down his body until my fingers were tangled in his
pubic hair.

I could also feel his hard cock and, when I slid my hand up it, I could
feel the wetness of his pre- cum on my fingers.  I brought my fingers to my
mouth and for the first time tasted someone else's pre-cum.

"How do I taste?" Bucky murmured.

" Good but different." I replied.

" What do you mean different?"

" I don't know, just different than mine."

" Different in what way?"

" You're sweet, but a lot saltier."

" That's because I'm older than you are.  yours will get saltier too as you
grow older."

" I really liked it, though."

" Well, there's a lot more where that came from."

If there was ever an invitation to suck Bucky's cock that was it!

I slid down Bucky's body pushing back the covers and baring it until the
covers were pushed down his thighs and I could see his cock, hard and
throbbing, lying across his abs with a small pool of precum below the head.

I leaned over and first used my tongue to lap up the pre-cum on his abs.  I
then slid my mouth over the head of his cock and tasted his pre-cum
directly from it.  The feeling of the head of his cock in my mouth was
something I will never forget.  First of all, it was so large it took up
most of my mouth.  It was smooth, very smooth, and spongy.  I could feel
the heat of his body coming from it and when I moved my tongue against it
it hardened and more pre-cum dribbled into my mouth.

" Watch your teeth!" Bucky hissed.  " Cover them with your lips."

" I'm sorry.  Did I hurt you?" I asked.

" Just a little.  Your teeth are a lot sharper than you think they are.  If
you're gonna suck cock, you need to keep them covered."

" Okay.  I promise I'll remember."

I slid my mouth over the head of his cock again being careful this time to
keep my teeth covered by my lips.  Bucky's cock evidently approved because
it gifted me with more of Bucky's delicious pre-cum.  I was licking and
sucking while trying to take more of Bucky's cock in my mouth.  I was able
to take maybe two or 3 inches below the head but then the head of his cock
hit the back of my throat and I started to gag.

" Don't try to take all of it.  It's too big for you to do that your first
time.  Besides, nobody's ever been able to take all of it down their
throat." Bucky said

" Who else was there?" I asked.

" I used to play around with a couple of guys from the wrestling team when
I get a horny.  We started out jacking each other off and then got into
giving each other blow jobs.  One of the guys, who I found out was having
sex with his older brother, love to have me fucking him in the ass.
Evidently, I was bigger then his brother and he loved having my big assed
cock spreading his fuck hole."

" Did you have sex with anyone in prison?"

" Yeah, there was this little Puerto Rican kid who love to have me plow his
tail.  And one of the guards used to suck my cock on the sly."

" So what I've heard about prison is true?"

" Yeah, all of it's true.  Including the bad shit you've heard.  One night,
when I first got there, I saw this one kid who was younger than me get gang
raped by six guys.  They fucked him all night long and in the morning they
had to take into the hospital because he was bleeding out his ass.  That's
why I worked out so much I didn't want that happening to me."

" So you've never been fucked?"

" No, never.  I swore to myself that I would only give up my ass to one
guy."

" Who was that?"

" You."

" You'd let me fuck you?"

" Anytime you want to."

" Seriously?"

" Shane, I'm serious as a heart attack.  Did you think that I was gonna
plow your tail and not give you mine?"

" Well...  yeah I did."

" Look, Shane, let's get something straight right here and right now.  I'm
yours.  Every part of me.  If you want my cock, my mouth, or my ass, all
you have to do is ask.  We're not like some straight married couple where
one of us is the husband and one of us is the wife.  We're partners, equal
partners.  I know in the past, because I was your older brother, you did
anything and everything I told you to.  But being partners -lovers -changes
all that.  Now, everything I do is for us.  You need to look at it the same
way.  I'm not going to ask you to do anything that I'm not willing to do.
I will always be there for you.  I will always take care of you.  You're
not just my brother any more, you're my whole life."

I didn't know what to say.  Instead, all my emotions rose up in me and I
lost control entirely.  I started crying -tears streaming down my face.
Bucky quickly wrapped his muscular arms around me and pulled me close until
my head was resting on his chest.  Using his hands, he gently stroked my
head and my back while I continued to cry.  I can't really say why I was
crying.  Part of it was sheer joy at hearing Bucky tell me how much I meant
to him.  Part of it was also all the years of pain and frustration that I
felt while I was hiding how I felt from Bucky.  It's a really horrible
thing to be in love with someone and not ever be able to tell them.  I
wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.

Finally, when I'd stop crying Bucky looked at me and asked.

" Did I say something wrong?"

" No, what you said is what I've waited all of my life to hear.  I just
never thought I'd hear you say it.  Trust me, you are my life.  Without
you, nothing in life would have any meaning.  I can't even begin to tell
you, how much it means to me that you trust me to be your partner.  I
promise you everything I do will be for us."

" So, you started sucking my cock.  Do you wanna finish?  Or now that you
know you can, would you rather fuck me?"

" You remember how momma always says 'One thing at a time'?  I think I
better finish what I started.  Besides, I wanna taste your cum."

I bent back down and took Buckey's cock back in my mouth.  Because of all
the upset, he'd gone mostly soft which allowed me to get a lot more of his
cock in my mouth.  As soon as I started sucking on it however it began to
grow in my mouth.  It soon was a choice of pullback or choke to death.  I
did find that I had an incentive to learn how to take more of it down my
throat.  While I had been all the way down on it, my nose was filled with a
strong scent of Buckey's fragrant groin.  I could smell the sweat, the musk
and just the salty hint of piss in his pubic hair.  I loved this concoction
of smells and it turned me on to no end to be able to smell them with his
cock in my mouth.  There was a scent to his cock as well.  Sweaty, musky,
masculine Bucky had not showered since that morning before he walked to the
plant and back.  He had sweat like a pig down between his legs I was the
winner all those wonderful smells.

Speaking of those smells, as I sucked his cock I alternated licking his
balls.  The male stench of his sweaty balls was driving me was driving me
crazy.  I could taste the musk and sweat and saltiness of them.  I also
noticed a very alluring scent I had never smelled before.  At first, I
couldn't tell where it was coming from.  But as I moved to the back of his
balls and lower, I discovered that the scent seemed to be coming from the
crack of his ass.

When Bucky was eating my ass the night before he had said I could eat his
anytime I wanted.  I wonder if he knew how strongly I would be attracted to
this new scent?  I stop sucking his cock entirely and got down between his
spread legs.  I think he immediately figured out what I was after because
he pulled back is legs until his knees rested on his muscular chest giving
me a clear shot at his balls and ass-crack.  I moved my face closer and
closer to his ass taking short tentative breaths of the scent.  I really
didn't know what to expect having never had access to this most secret part
of a man's body before.  However, the closer I got and the more intense the
smell became the more turned on I was by it.  By the time my nose was
running up and down his ass- crack, I was snorting as deeply as I could of
the scent there.

The scent was dark, musky and very, very masculine.  I'd never smelled
anything like it before but I was quickly lost in it.  And while I loved
the scent, what I really wanted to do was to finally taste his butt.

I guess some people-especially women-find the idea of licking a guy's ass
to be extremely distasteful.  I guess guys either are naturally gross in
their tastes or it takes another guy to understand the pleasure a guy gets
out of having his ass eaten.  Oh, I've seen porn flicks where women lick
guys butts but they only do it for a second or two and as a very
accomplished and dedicated ass-eater let me tell you they do an absolutely
dreadful job worse even than when make try to give a blow job.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that women are bad sex.  However,
I've heard from too many straight guys how they don't get from their
girlfriends and wives what they need and want.  And when I asked them if
they told their wife or girlfriend what they needed or wanted, they all
said and emphatic "NO!" When I ask them "why not?" They all gave me the
same answer.  Each of them was afraid that their wife or girlfriend would
scream " PERVERT!" at them and they'd never get sex again.  One guy
confirmed this.  He had told his wife what he wanted and needed.  She made
him move out of their bed and sleep on the couch for a month.

But getting back to Bucky's ass-a place I dearly love to be-that night turn
me into a voracious ass- eater.  As I said, the scent of his butt drew me
to it but it was the taste of Bucky's butt that made me the dedicated
ass-eater I am today.  The taste and scent of his butt worked together to
drive me into a sexual frenzy.  I licked up and down his trench, tasting
the musk and sweat and what I suppose you could call ass juice.  But my
greatest delight was the small, delicate pink hole The I licked and sucked
in his hole until it gradually loosened as a slight thaw taste there was
the stop listening skin surrounding it was a delicate pink and like the
color inside those shells that you can hear the ocean when you put them to
your ear.  The skin was wrinkled but became smooth when you pressed your
tongue against it.  I licked and sucked at his hole until it gradually
loosened and I was able to slide my tongue up inside.  The taste there was
darker and tangier but I didn't notice it first because my mind was warping
out over the idea that I actually had part of my body buried in his.  It
was an intimacy the likes of which I had never experienced.  I finally
understood why Buckey wanted to eat my ass so much.  I already understood,
from the feelings, why loved him to do it.

While I was spearing and Bucky's ass with my tongue the thought of fucking
him and became more and more real.  Yes, I decided, I did want to shove my
cock up Bucky's ass and see what it felt like to finally fuck someone.  I
just couldn't decide if I wanted to do it then or wait for another time.
Of course, being a guy, where sex was concerned I had no patience.  It was
Bucky, however, who made the decision for me.  While I was busy slurping
and tongue-fucking his ass, Bucky was moaning and groaning in pleasure.
Finally, he said the magic words.

" Oh fuck, Shane.  Please.  FUCK ME!"

This was just what I wanted to hear and so I took in at his word.  Getting
up off the bed, I went over to the bedside table and got the bottle of
Astroglide.  I used it to lube and open him up just as he'd done for me the
night before.

While my cock was in as big as Bucky's, it was still plenty thick enough to
cause some real damage if I wasn't careful.  The last thing in the world I
wanted to do was to hurt Bucky in any way.  I made sure his hole was nice
and open before I finally rose up and put my cock up against his hole.  I
did exactly what he had done by leaning over and kissing him while my hips
slowly pressed my cock into his hole.

As I bottomed out inside him, my pubic hair pressed against the outside of
his hole, I was amazed at how hot and tight it was inside him.  So hot and
tight, in fact, that I felt like I was gonna cum as soon as my cock was all
the way inside him.  Bucky must've realized this because he were each out
and grabbed my ass cheeks holding me inside of him so that I couldn't move.

" Just let me get used to that fact fucker of yours."

" Do you like it?  Does it feel good?  Are you in any pain?"

" It feels good.  Damn good!  I never thought it would feel this good."

" Are you sorry you waited this long?"

" Fuck no!  If it wasn't you it wouldn't feel this good."

" What do you mean?"

" Part of what feels really good is the fact that it's your cock that's
inside of me.  It's like the bible talks about how when people make love
they become one person.  I feel that way.  Like you and I are one.  With
your cock inside of me I can't tell where I stop and you start.  Just like
when I'm fucking you."

" Yeah, I feel that way too.  That's why I love when you fuck me.  I love
having your dick inside of me.  I feel like you belong to me then."

As we talked, Bucky's hole loosened up and I didn't feel like I would cum
at any second.  Bucky looked up into my eyes and said, with a deep sexual
growl in his voice, " Fuck me, Stud"

When he said that, made my cock feel like it had grown 3 inches.  I began
moving my cock and out of his hole loving the feeling of the slick
tightness of his chute.  I could tell where his prostate was because my
cock was bumping into the thick swelling of it.  I purposely moved to an
angle where my cock would drive into his prostate each time I shoved it in
his hole.

As I fucked him, his cock jerked and spattered pre-cum all over his abs.  I
wanted to bend over like it off but my body wouldn't move that way.  So, I
reached down with my hand got it coated in his juice and then brought my
hand to my mouth and licked it all off.

" Aren't you gonna share that?" Bucky asked.

" Sure, no prob." I answered.

I again coated my hand with his pre-cum and then reached out my hand
towards him.  He grabbed my wrist pulling my hand to his mouth and he began
to lick his pre-cum off my fingers.  I was so incredibly sensuous that I
had a hard time not cumming.

Finally, my body couldn't take any more stimulation and my orgasm built up
To the point that I thought my cock would explode.

" FUCK!  Gotta cum!" I practically screamed.

" Cum for me.  Shoot your big load up my ass.  Drench my guts with your
load.  Mark me as yours!" Bucky growled.

That's all It took and I was uncontrollably shooting my load up his ass and
screaming out his name.  My cock drenching his hole with my cum must've set
him off because Bucky's cock began shooting his load all over his face,
chest, and abs.

" Fuck me, Fuck me, Fuck me." Bucky kept screaming out as his cock
continued to belch out his white, slimy load.

I collapsed on top of him covering myself with his cum.  I kissed him
deeply and passionately.  I'd truly loved fucking him.  For the first time
in my life, I felt like a man.  I had bred my mate, and bred him well.

Bucky wrapped his arms around me holding me to him.  He nuzzled my cheek
and licked and sucked at my neck.  He kept saying over and over at again
how good it was and how much he loved me.  I knew then and there that this
would not be the last time for me to make love to him.  Just as he had
said, I now felt like his equal.  He was no longer just my brother, he was
everything good in my life.

Bucky and I were coming up on our first year anniversary when momma took a
turn for the worst and ended up in the hospital.  Bucky and I went to see
her in the hospital.  I was afraid at first that daddy would get into it
with Bucky.  But we found him to be a very changed man.  For the first time
that I can ever remember, daddy looked totally lost.  In many ways, daddy
was a real bastard.  But he truly loved momma and the idea of losing her
was evidently more than he could take.  When we got there, momma called us
both over to the bed.  She reached out and took one of our hands into both
of hers.  She looked at us very carefully, like she'd never seen us before.

" Boys, I don't think I'm gonna make it this time.  I think this cancer is
finally gonna get me.  Until I saw you, I was worried about who would take
care of the two of you.  But I can see that you two will always take care
of each other."

And as she said this, she took our hands and put them together so that for
the first time Bucky and I were holding hands in front of her.

" I don't know why God makes people for each other.  But it's obvious that
God meant you two to be together.  You two remember that and no matter what
happens you two lean on each other and take care of each other."

Those were the last words that momma ever said to us.  I can't help but
believe that somehow she knew how much we loved each other.

Momma's funeral was held a few days later.  The night before the funeral
there was a viewing.  Neither the Bucky or I wanted to go but we didn't
feel like we have any choice.  I would have much rather have remembered
momma alive then lying in a coffin looking so unreal because of all the
makeup.  The makeup was something that mom and never wore in life and it
seems so weird that they would bury her covered in it.

Bucky, of course, was more worried about daddy making a scene at the
funeral home when we got there.  I told Bucky I didn't think that was gonna
happen.  I thought that daddy would be too lost in his grief to care about
anything that happened in the past.  I hoped that maybe daddy would wake up
to the fact that we were his sons and were all he had left.

When we got to the funeral home, we went inside to the room where momma was
laid out.  The first person we saw as we walked into the room was daddy.
The first thing he did was walk up to Bucky and say, " I'm so glad you're
here and momma would've been glad too." Then he reached out his arms and
hugged Bucky.  I could see Bucky's face as he hugged him.  Bucky was
totally shocked by daddy's actions but I saw him return the hug and he and
daddy clung to each other for quite a while.  Then daddy walked over to me
and took me in his arms and in a low voice asked, " Are you happy, son?"
Knowing what he was really asking, I told him that I was happier than I had
ever been in my entire life.  He then said that that was all that was
important.  I knew then that daddy was also aware of what Bucky and I meant
to each other.  He had figured out what it was that momma was saying to us
that night in the hospital.

Daddy put his arms around our shoulders and lead us up to the casket where
Momma's body was laying.  The three of us stood there looking down at her
each of us lost in our own thoughts and memories.

" Tilly, honey, we're all here.  Both your boys and me.  Just like I
promised you in the hospital, I've forgiven them and here in front of you,
I'm asking them to forgive me for not loving them enough to see past the
mistakes they've made." Daddy said out loud.

Both Bucky and I now looked at him in shock.  I never thought I'd see the
day when daddy would actually admit openly that he'd been wrong.  I knew
that this was the start of a new and different relationship with him.  It
made sense to me because without momma or us, daddy was going to end up a
very lonely old man.  By asking our forgiveness daddy was also asking us to
be a part of his life again.  I didn't know how Bucky felt at the time but
I was overjoyed.  Daddy had acknowledged our relationship, at least to me,
and he still wanted us as part of his life, even knowing what kind of
relationship we had.

Later on, when Bucky and I were alone, I told him about what daddy had said
when he hugged me.  Bucky was very surprised by it but I reminded him that
daddy had heard everything that momma said to us.

" Do you think he'll really change?" Bucky asked.

" Yeah, I really think he will.  After all, he's nothing to lose and
everything to gain if he does." I replied.

" Well, only time will tell." Bucky said.

" We have to be willing to give him a chance."

" That's going he be the hardest part.  His rejection of me for going to
prison really hurt, hurt bad."

" Yes, but if you continue to carry that hurt around inside you the only
person who feels that pain is you.  One time, when momma and I went to
church together the preacher talked about forgiveness.  He said you don't
forgive someone because it's good for them but because it's good for you to
not have to carry around all that anger."

" Damn, bro!  Where'd you get so smart?"

" I'm not all that's smart, I just know that you can do more for someone by
loving them."

" You sure done a lot for me.  I never would've made it through prison
except for knowing that you still loved me."

" Then think of daddy as being in prison, a prison he made for himself.  We
need the help him get free."

" You're right, bro.  I guess I can find a way to forgive him."

" And maybe even to love him?"

" Yeah, and maybe even love him."

Things began to change pretty quickly after that.  And daddy started coming
over to our apartment for dinner several times a week.  We actually started
to get to know him because he started talking about what his life had been
like.  He told us about his childhood and about his father.  It seems his
father had a terrible temper as well and they had not been close.  Daddy
said that at he always felt like a failure where his father was concerned.
He apologized repeatedly for doing the same thing to us that had been done
to him.

One night, daddy actually started talking to us about our relationship.  It
seems he felt that he was responsible for making us gay.  Bucky explained
to him that are attraction to each other and to other guys was biological
and not caused by the way we were raised.  Daddy asked a lot of questions
about when we first knew and how we had fallen in love.  We both told him a
very edited version of the story leaving out the more purient parts.
Daddy, for his part, told us of how he had experimented with the other boys
when he was young.  he admitted that there was even one boy that he loved
very deeply.  But the boy had joined the Marines and gone off to the
Vietnam War.  He'd been killed in the Tet Offensive.  It was after that
that daddy Matt momma and they got married.  Daddy, however, never forgot
the boy and had even gone to Washington to the Vietnam Memorial and head
found his name on The Wall.  After that, it seemed like we all grew closer.

" What was his name, daddy?" I asked.

" His name was Bucky." Daddy said very quietly.

I could see the shock on Bucky's face at finding out who his namesake was.

" You named me after him?" Bucky asked.

" Yes, son, I loved him so much and he wouldn't have any sons to carry on
his name so I did it for him.  I hope you don't mind."

" No, I don't mind.  But can I ask you something?"

" Son, I guess you can ask me just about anything."

" Was that why you were always so hard on me?"

" No, the reason I was so hard on you was that you reminded me so much of
him and I guess somewhere deep down inside of me, I was afraid you get
yourself killed, too."

" Daddy, I've got a question." I said.

" Okay, son, shoot."

" Does our relationship bother you at all?"

" No, Shane, it doesn't.  I'd be one hell of a hypocrite if it did.  After
all, if Bucky had lived and come home from a war I would never have married
your mother and you two would never been born."

" But what about the thing of us being brothers?"

" Like your mama said, God puts people together and we don't always know
why.  But I can see how much you two love each other and that tells me that
what you have together is good and right no matter what anybody thinks."

Bucky and I have always been grateful for the time that we got to spend
with Daddy.  God knows, it wasn't very long.  Within two years of momma
dying, daddy was gone too - of a heart attack.  Bucky and I moved back to
the house where we had grown up.  We turned momma and daddy's bedroom into
a den and office because we couldn't bring ourselves to sleep there.  We
moved back into our old room changing the only one thing.  We bought a
king-sized bed for it.  How strange it was to make love in the room where I
had laid so many nights desperately wanting Bucky to make love to me.

We've been together 10 years now.  Nobody thinks anything of us living
together or caring about each other.  Nobody ever thinks or talks about
Bucky having gone to prison.  All in all, we are both still very much in
love and very, very happy.

The end of A CONVICT BROTHER-BUCKY.


If you liked the story, please write me at rimpigfl@yahoo.com

I have over 70 stories on the Nifty website. If you'd like a complete
listing of them, write me and I'll be glad to send it to you.

I am now a PUBLISHED AUTHOR. My first Novel, JOCK

DORM: DAR AND GREGG is available from WWW.LOOSE-ID.COM where I write under
the name BOBBY MICHAELS.


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