Date: Wed, 21 Feb 2007 22:18:40 -0800 (PST)
From: Brandon Hamilton <bhamiltonj@yahoo.com>
Subject: Derek's Confession

This is my first story submission. I had fun writing it and welcome
comments. Maybe it will be part of a series, I'm not sure. I can be reached
at bhamiltonj@yahoo.com. Copyright 2007 by Brandon James. All rights
reserved.

This story contains graphic sexual content between two brothers. If this
sort of thing bothers you, don't read it.


Derek's Confession


My brother and I never did anything when we were younger. I never saw him
naked past adolescence. He never invited me into his room to show me his
stash of porn in the hopes I'd suck him off. None of that fantasy shit.
	But when he asked me to come and visit him while his family was
away, there was something in his voice that made me listen closer. "Come
on, bro. When's the last time we were able to hang out like real brothers?"
	I mean, we were close growing up--as close as boys are. Our parents
split when we were nine and ten or so. Leaving us to stick it out together.
	I was as obsessed with him as any little brother would be. And it
didn't change when we got older. High school, I showed him off whenever I
could. Tried to hook him up with hot girls from my classes. And my senior
year, he let me crash in the frat house.
	And through all that, I don't think I knew how bad I wanted him. I
mean, I knew I was gay, but I didn't know that the one guy I was waiting
for was the guy I shared the guest bed with each Christmas. That is, until
he got married. Then it was always him and Wendy. "Wendy has to wake up
early." "Maybe tomorrow night. Wendy and I are going to make it an early
night." At first I got it. I mean, of course he should be hitting it when
he's got the chance. I'm gay, but I still know what that's gotta be
like. Which is why when he started pulling me aside to complain how little
he was getting since they were married, how the baby cries all night and
Wendy refuses... It's just that he's such a great guy. He should have
someone who'll take care of him right.
	Anyway, so when he called and asked if I'd "sneak away" and catch
up, just me and him, when Wendy and Shaun were away, I booked the first
ticket home.

	"You want another beer, man?" Derek asked me.
	"Nah, I think I'm okay." I didn't want to ask him right off the
bat.
	"Water? Anything?"
	"Just chill, man. You don't need to wait on me."
	"I know. I'm just..." He sat down next to me on the couch. "Fuck."
	He punched the wall and wouldn't look at me. I hadn't seem him do
that since I left his bike unlocked and it got stolen.
	"What's wrong? You can tell me." I said, but he stood back up and
started pacing again.
	"I can't." He sat back down. "I want to tell someone, but I can't."
	"Is that was this is about? You have something to tell me?" I put
my hand on his shoulder.
	He sat so still.
	"What is it? Derek, you're okay, right?"
	"Oh yeah, I'm fine. Sorry. I just get so freaked out sometimes..."
He stood back up and got a beer for each of this. I was already pretty
drunk, but I didn't want to let him down. "I wish I could be like
you. Still single, free to do whatever--fuck whoever"--he looked over at me
then--"take what you want when you want it and have it not matter."
	He looked at me again, but I didn't know what there was to say.
	"Whatever it is you can tell me." I looked him in the eyes.
	"I cheated on her, man." He sat down next to me. "I never thought
I'd be like Dad, you know. I hate that kind of guy--I mean, I love her. I
do. And Shaun. And if I lost him..." He put his head in his hands and I
reached out and rubbed his back. I had never known him to cry.
	"Well, what happened? If you want to talk about it, you can."
	He hadn't talked to me about his sex life since Christmas. But for
a long while I'd heard stories about her not putting out or being stressed
because of the baby and him going to jerk off in the garage after she'd
gone to bed.
	"The opportunity arose. And that's all it took." He turned to
me. He hadn't been crying. Instead, he looked angry. Like it was my fault.
	And that's when he kissed me. All at once with his whole
body. Tackling me like when we were little, but with his crotch up against
mine and his body hard and soft at once.
	"No, what are you doing?" I said, pushing him away.
	"I need this Kyle," he said, as if him saying it would convince me.
	"No you don't. What is this?" I was shocked. If it had been in a
porn or whatever, it would have been the kind of thing to turn me off. Out
of nowhere and with no real warning. "Okay man. Get ahold of yourself. I
mean, I'm flattered and all, but..."
	But what? Did I want to? The panic or surprise was subsiding, and I
noticed I was getting a little aroused at the idea that my big brother
would want to fool around. How long had he felt like this?
	"Do you even like men?" I asked, standing then.
	"No, it's not like that." He shook his head and wiped the spit from
his mouth. "I like you though. Come on, we've always been flirty. You've
always let me tease you, right?" I was trying to make a joke out of it,
like always. He flailed around like a queen and made a kissy face.
	"Fuck you, Derek. I'm not some faggy whore you can just leap onto
when you're fucked up."
	"I'm completely sober, dude."
	"I mean emotionally." I put my jacket on, but fumbled getting my
arm into the sleeve. "Just because you're upset or pent up or whatever
doesn't mean I want to make out with you. Sometimes I don't know who you
think I am." He stood to came up like he was going to hit me. "Do you think
gay people are like that? We'll just fuck anything or anyone who asks?"
	And then he kissed me again. And this time I kissed him back. I
don't know why. I guess the part of my brain that was shocked the first
time was still in shock. My body was coursing with adrenaline and my heart
said yes. He kissed me hard and wrapped his arms around me the way I'd
always hoped a man would after sharing a life together. And Derek and I had
in a way.
	When he finally stopped kissing me and pulled away, it was gently,
as if he wanted me to see that it was a tender kiss. That is was sober and
planned and necessary.
	"I don't know what I can say, man." He was blushing. "I've wanted
this for a long time... And then you came out and it wasn't the right
time. And then I went to college and it wasn't the right time. And then I
met her and next thing you know we were married..." I didn't know if I
should comfort him or leave before it all got more complicated. "I
just--you feel it too, right? It's not just in my head. I've never had a
friend like you. Or a lover. I mean, I could tell you anything. And that's
so much more..." He sat down and put his hands up to cover his face again.
	"No, finish," I insisted.
	"I sound crazy."
	"No you don't. You sound like you mean it."
	And that's when he looked me hard in the face, like he was pleading
with me to take him seriously.
	"I do mean it bud. I don't think I'm gay, because I don't like
guys. I don't look at gay porn. I don't think of them when I beat off. But
sometimes I think of you. The only guy I think of. Going through scenes
from when we were younger and rewriting what I should of said and done." He
put his hand to the back of my neck. "I don't want to hurt her. I don't
ever want to. But you were mine first."
	He looked down at my crotch and then smiled up at me.
	"I was going to ask if I was freaking you out, but I guess I have
an answer."
	He looked down again and I blushed and started to cover my growing
erection.
	"No, let me see." And he pulled my hand away and then gently
touched the bulge of my jeans so that it tickled. Then felt it harder,
feeling out its shape. He kept looking at my face to make sure I was
okay. So I closed my eyes and let my head fall back as he continued.
	He undid the buttons to my jeans and then reached his hand in. He
came closer and started kissing my neck, wrapping his big hand around my
oozing cock. I could feel his breath on me and his scruff. I tilted my head
to give him more of my neck and rocked in my seat so he could get his hand
all the way around my shaft.
	I imagined him jerking off in the garage, thinking of me. Thinking
of the time we slept together in the back seat of the car for no
reason. The times I watched TV with my head in his lap until I convinced
myself he was a little hard. The times he'd tuck me in though I was far too
old and would mockingly kiss me on the forehead.
	And then there we were, fifteen years later with my dick in his
fist and his tongue in my mouth.
	That's when it occurred to me he'd be okay if I touched him back. I
pulled his shirt up and felt his chest. He had just the right amount of
hair and smiled a little as I felt it. I rubbed up to his nipples and
pinched them a little and he kissed me harder. I thought I was getting
close, so pulled on his arm to get it out of my pants.
	"What's wrong?" He licked my juice from his palm and smiled at
me. I thought I was going to blow.
	"Nothing, trust me." And I closed my eyes to catch my breath.
	"Get on your back," he said.
	"Hold on."
	"No," he commanded. "Get on your back. Now." I had never heard him
talk to me like that. I did what he said, and laughed a little to
myself. "Take off your shirt and jeans."
	I was still tugging on the last leg of my jeans when he started
sucking on my nipples and sniffing my armpit. I left it hanging on to my
foot, and found it easier to let him have control if I could think of that
one piece of clothes hanging on to me. It was a distraction. Otherwise, I
might have come... and who knows what would or wouldn't have happened.
	"What do you like?" he asked.
	"Everything."
	"Everything, huh?" He nibbled a little harder on my nipple and
started down like he was going to go down on me, but once he was down there
he kept going. He lifted up my legs and sniffed at my sweaty balls and
ass. "Just like your brother," he teased.
	"I guess," I joked. "Who knew?"
	And with that, he started licking at my balls, and then my hole. He
worked me slowly but roughly, like he knew where he wanted the night to go,
had rehearsed it in his head so many times.
	He pulled away and started to massage it with his knuckles. "Like
this?" Though he could tell I did. "And this?" he asked, letting one finger
in slowly.
	He was clearly in a hurry to fuck me. And lucky for him I didn't
need much preparation. I sat up and kissed him hard, pulling his shirt off
over his head. I sucked on his tongue as I undid his belt. As I slid it out
of the loops, he grabbed my wrist. "Let me." And he smirked, using his belt
to tie my hands together. "Get on the floor," he motioned with his eyes as
he said it. And I did, hungry for him. He tied my hands to a leg of the
coffee table, and pulled my jeans the rest of the way off. He stood,
straddling my chest as his pants came down, and then his boxers.
	I would never have guessed his dick would be so perfect. Big and
thick and shaped to please a man. He knelt there over me so that it barely
touched my lips and I opened my mouth for it.
	"I fucking love this," he beamed, then pulled it away
again. "You're starved for my cock, aren't you?"
	"I'm loving this too."
	"Say it bro. You want me to fuck you."
	"Yeah. I want you to. Please."
	"Say the words or I won't."
	"I want you to fuck me."
	"Big brother sex god."
	I laughed, but said it and meant it. "Big brother sex god."
	And with that, he went down on me. I can't be sure how long. I
nearly came several times. He took turns fingering me and sucking on my
hole. Rimming and jerking me and scratching my chest with his beard.
	Then once I was ready, he crawled up to be eye to eye and asked
again. "Do you want me to fuck you?"
	"If you don't, they will never find the body."
	He raised my legs up onto his shoulders and lined his big cock head
up against my hole. I held my breath and said I was ready. And with one
thrust, he fell deep inside me. Then pushed himself up so he could kiss me
while we fucked. His hands held the back of my head, then worked on my
balls.
	He grunted and moaned. I squeezed his dick with my body and moved
along with him.
	When I was close, I told him, and he said he wanted it in his
mouth. Still fucking me, he curled forward and reached, catching what he
could of my load in his mouth. And with that, my body bucking against his,
my brother pulled out, shooting his load onto and into my mouth, without
warning. Our mess went everywhere.
	As we lay there in a pile of each other's stuff, I loosed the belt
from around my wrists. He caught me doing it and helped me to get
comfortable.
	"You're such a freak," I told him. "But so am I."
	"Just like I said, man. You're the only guy for me."
	And with that, we slept. Right there on the carpet, naked
together. I dreamt we were in a small boat in the middle of the ocean, no
one around for days. No wife, no kid, no real life to return to. And when I
woke up, he was still holding on to me. And our weekend had just started.