Date: Sat, 9 Sep 2000 15:32:15 -0700
From: bazmar <3stix@concentric.net>
Subject: Devlin and Dad

Hi!  My name is Devlin.  I'm 17 years old and I just started my senior year
in high school.  I live alone with my Dad (my Mom died when I was 7) and
we've lived alone for almost 11 years (if you don't count the 8 months he
was married to my wicked step-mother).  Dad is way cool, like the best dad
of anyone I know.  That doesn't mean he's a push over, like I can't get
away with just anything I want, but he's really open-minded and let's me
pretty much be my own person.

He's always been like that, treated me as a person, not his creation born
to be what he wanted.  He never makes me feel like a jerk, even when I am
one.  He's also very honest with me.  If I fuck up and do something he'll
tell me why it's not cool, but then he'll tell me he did the same thing
when he was my age.  It makes what he has to say more real.  Most of the
times I even take his advice and suggestions.

Take just a couple of things that most guys can in no way talk to their
parents about, drugs and sex.  He's always been totally open with me on
both subjects.  He has a pretty radical approach to life. He calls himself
a free spirit and refuses to follow rules just because somebody else thinks
they're right.  He's always smoked weed, at least as far back as I can
remember.  When I turned 13 he explained the difference between the use of
recreational drugs and using the hard stuff.  In no uncertain terms he
warned me to stay away from all drugs with the exception of grass.  He told
me never to take a drug that could eventually take me. He always says no
high is worth fucking up your life.  He let me start smoking (grass only,
he's real down on tobacco) when I was 13, but only with him and only when
there wasn't any school the next day.  Don't get me wrong we don't smoke
all the time, just a couple of joints during the evening, and like I said,
never on work or school nights.

He's always been cool when it comes to sex too.  He never had to sit me
down to have the "talk."  I knew all about reproduction by the time I was
10 and by the time I was old enough to have an orgasm I pretty much knew
all there was to know, though not by experience. The topic of sex would
just normally come up as part of every day conversation and he'd just
explain whatever particular thing we were talking about in detail.  To him
sex and the human body are perfectly normal things that everyone on the
planet is involved with.  He thinks it's stupid and silly to make such a
big deal out of something so natural.  He always walked around the house
naked and I do too, it's just a normal thing with us.  Guys I know have
never even seen their dads naked, I see mine with a hard on almost every
morning as he heads from his room to the bathroom for his morning piss.  He
also doesn't hide the fact that he jerks off.  Not that he does it in front
of me, but I've seen him watching a sexy movie on TV and he'll spring a
boner.  He smiles and winks, gets up and heads for his room, making some
comment about how he'd better take care of business.  He's never even been
close to being embarrassed by this.

He was really in love with my mom.  They been married when they were both
19, mainly because I was about to be born, but they loved each other.  When
she died he married a witch. Since then he hasn't dated much. Not that he
couldn't, he's really good looking and women are always throwing themselves
at him, but like he says, he got into one mess because he was horny and
lonely, but never again.  According to him it's just easier to beat off
than to go through the heartache and expense of another woman.

So now that I've told you all that I can tell you what happened last
weekend.  For a long time having my Dad around and as my best friend was
enough to keep me happy. I wasn't attracted to girls, at least not like my
other friends. I mentioned it to Dad, but he said that a lot of guys are
late bloomers and that I was lucky because I wouldn't be spending all my
time trying to get laid, like he did when he was a teenager.  So I didn't
worry about it and things were cool for a couple of years.  Then just about
the time I got my license I started finding myself staring at other guys,
day dreaming about a couple of my best buds, and generally curious about
what other guys peckers looked like.  I'd catch a peek in the boys' room or
in the shower after phys. ed.  I started having wet dreams and though I
don't remember most of them I remember one vividly because it kept
repeating itself.  In it my best friend Kyle fucks me up the ass while I
suck on a fat dick.  I couldn't see or recognize whose cock I was sucking,
but it was for sure Kyle who was porking me.  The dream would always end
before either the cock in my ass or the one in my mouth shot its load, I
guess it stopped when I shot mine.  I convinced myself that I was just
going through a phase and that once I got interested in and started dating
girls things would balance out.

Then about two months ago the dream (which had always been exactly the
same) changed.  Kyle was plowing my ass as usual, but at just about the
point where the dream had always ended before, the cock in my mouth shot
its load and there was so much cum that it just exploded from my mouth
covering my face in a thick, dripping coat of white.  I pulled off the fat
cock and looked up at its owner, staring right into my Dad's face.  At that
instant I let loose with a major cum eruption of my own, woke up in the
process and sat bolt upright in bed.  I didn't get much sleep the rest of
that night.  This really weirded me out.  For obvious reasons to me, for
the first time in my life I just couldn't go to Dad.  I was sure this would
freak even him and I was already freaked enough for both of us.

This went on for almost two months.  Finally last Saturday evening, Dad and
I were hanging out in the family room after supper passing a joint back and
forth. I caught Dad looking at me with a real serious expression on his
face.

"What?" I said, laughing nervously.

"Dev, I've been waiting for you to come to me, but it doesn't look like
that's going to happen so I guess it's up to me to ask.  What's been
bugging you for the past few weeks."

"Nothing."

"Dev, don't bull shit me, I know you too well.  There's something bothering
you, that clear.  I just can't believe you aren't willing to share it with
me.  Whatever it is will be made easier if you share it."

"Not this time."

"That's just not true.  Whatever it is you can tell me and I'll help you
out.  That's not just a promise it's an iron clad guarantee."

"Not this time Dad, this time I just can't talk to you about my problem."

"In that case would you like me to arrange for some private therapy for
you?"

"You mean send me to a shrink?"

"Well I wouldn't put it that way, but you went to a counselor when Mom died
and that helped.  I can't imagine anything happening that could be worse
than that."

"No?  Well I think this might be."

"Now you have me worried for real. Please, whatever it is I love you with
all my heart.  Nothing, not anything on earth can ever change that,
NOTHING."

"Suppose I told you I think I'm gay?"

He didn't even blink, didn't miss a beat.  "Suppose you are?  Listen Devlin
90% of the people on this planet have brown eyes, less than 10% have blue
eyes like you and me.  That doesn't make us inferior or mutants it just
makes us different from the norm.  The same goes for sexuality.  90% of all
people on the planet are heterosexual, the rest are either gay, bisexual or
asexual.  Different from the norm, but that doesn't mean not normal.  It's
a variation from the norm, like blue eyes.  Got it?"

"Yeah I guess so, but there's something else."

Before I had a chance to continue he interrupted me.  "You haven't been
putting yourself at risk have you?"

At first I didn't understand what he was saying, but then it dawn on me.
"No, I've never had sex with anyone.  No it's something else."

"Lay it on me."

He wanted the ante raised so I went for broke.  "I've been having a
recurring dream about having sex with two guys at the same time.  One is
fucking me up the ass, while I blow the other one.  The guy fucking me is
Kyle and the guy I'm sucking off is . . . you."

I guess I shut my eyes at this point because I don't remember seeing his
reaction.  It was almost as if I was bracing myself for a slug.  Eventually
I did look at him, right into his pale blue eyes.  He had a curious
expression, one that I couldn't read.

"Are you saying that you want to have sex with me?"  He whispered it,
without a hint betraying what he was feeling.  Emotionally I was in
turmoil, my thought process weighed down.

"No, of course not."  I protested in a not so convincing tone.  He
continued to stare into my eyes.  "I don't think so...may be I do...I don't
know...I don't know what to think or do.  Please don't hate me."

"Let's get one thing straight for all time, I love you without conditions.
Period.  Now let's talk about the rest rationally and logically.  First if
you are gay it's perfectly natural for you to have sexually feelings and
desires toward members of your own sex.  You are going to have sexual
fantasies, both awake and asleep, and they are going to be about men.  So I
really don't see a major problem with that.

"Being sexually turn on by the thought of having sex with me is a little
more complicated. The taboo against incest came about primarily because too
often the off spring resulting from such unions would be physically
deformed or mentally impaired. That was reason enough for society to build
up rules against it. Still the reason behind the taboo certainly wouldn't
apply to a father and son. Then there's the other reason against a parent
and child not engaging in sex.  Sex in most human cultures has developed
into a tool of power and control with all sorts of taboos and guilt trips
attached to it.  In most instances the parent is in a position of power and
is the one who initiates the sexual activity.  The child is often in the
position of fearing to say no or feeling obligated to do what the parent is
asking.  This would seem to apply to you and me. I don't see any logical
reason for you to feel guilty or upset because you've got the hots for your
old man.  Some might question your taste, but I don't think you're sick or
warped in any way."

He made it sound so simple.  I'd been going through hell and back, but now
I felt so much better.  Suddenly it struck me that my Dad had said it was
cool for me to have sex with him. At that moment I realized that that was
exactly what I wanted.  I wanted to have sex for the first time with a man
and that man was my Dad.  Of course I knew he was straight and that the
most I could hope for was sucking on his big, fat Irish sausage.  That was
cool, I was rock hard just at the thought of having him in my mouth; just
thinking I'd be able to taste his cum sent a shiver through my body.

My Dad was still staring at me and I guess he was reading my mind.
"Devlin."  He had my attention, "I said there was nothing wrong or sick
about you wanting to have sex with me.  I didn't say I wanted to have sex
with you.  Before two people engage in any type of sexual activity it is
essential that they both desire it.  It would be wrong for us to engage in
any sexual activity unless we both wanted it. Can you understand that?"

I was crushed, and I know I turned bright red.  I just wanted to fucking
vanish in a puff.  I was just about to make a dash to my room but Dad
started talking again.

"I think it might be appropriate for me to share my homosexual adventures
with you."  He started to laugh as he saw the shock register on my face.
"Yes Dev, I've had a brief but enjoyable walk on the wild side.  It was
with just one person, but it happened

"You've hear me mention Bruce Miller, my best friend in high school.
Bruce went off to college in California and then settled in San Francisco.
Your mother and I visited him once when we were out there on business, but
he's never been back here since leaving. That's because he told his parents
he was gay and they disowned him, never spoke to or about him for the
remainders of their lives.  Too sad.

"Well any way as I was saying, Bruce and I were best buddies from about 8th
grade. He was smart and could make me laugh any time.  He also had access
to the best weed in school thanks, to his brother who was at the
University.

"Sometime during our senior year Bruce figured out he was gay.  He knew it
was definitely not cool, remember this was back in the 70s, so he kept this
fact to himself.  He also convinced himself that he's in love with me.  The
truth was that we were best friends and he had the hots bad for anyone who
had a dick, so he fell in lust with me, not that he could tell the
difference at the time.  So he goes along for months with this secret
identity and secret passion to suck my dick.

"I, in the meantime, am plugging all of the very few willing hole I can
find.  I didn't start dating your Mom until after Bruce left for
California, so I played the field and jerked off a lot.

"Any way the week before he left for California we drove out to Cedar Key
to spend our last week together.  Bruce had managed to cop some killer weed
and I brought along a couple of cases of beer.  We spent the first
afternoon baking on the beach while I made promises to find each of us a
chick to lay before the week was over.

"That night we sent out for dinner and then afterward came back to the
cabin where we sprawled out on the living room floor, stared at the
ceiling, passed a joint and talked. I don't remember what we were talking
about, but there was a pause in the conversation and Bruce just came out
with it.  'Paul,' he said 'I'm gay and I want to suck your cock.'

"At first I thought he was joking and I said, 'Right, and I want to have
your baby.' I laughed, he didn't.  'I'm dead serious Paul.  I want to blow
you.'  Well that stopped me dead in my tracks.  I'd never considered the
possibility that Bruce was gay. I certainly had never considered having any
sexual contact with any man, but this was Bruce, my best buddy, as close to
me as any brother could have been.  It made me stop and think.

"I wasn't as free thinking then like I am now, but I was pretty laid back
and easy going.  Not much made me uptight.  I decided that if Bruce was
gay, then there couldn't be anything wrong with it. Once I'd settled that
in my mind the next part came easier.  Like I said I was always on the look
out for a willing hole in which to stuff my always hard cock and suddenly I
had a warm, moist, overly willing mouth just begging to be fed a hot cock.
That the mouth belonged to someone I loved made it easy.

"Bruce later told me he was expecting the end of our friendship so he was
shocked and almost unbelieving when I said, 'do you want to do it here or
should we go into the bedroom?'

"I don't think those words were out of my mouth before he was up and
undoing the snaps on the shorts I was wearing.  By the time he'd pulled
down the shorts and my underwear my cock was at it's full 7 inches and
bubbling up a steady stream of precum.  He grabbed my pecker in his fist
and the next thing I knew I was buried in his throat, pushing at his
tonsils.  He hadn't had much practice, but what he lacked in experience he
made up for in enthusiasm and natural instinct.  In just a matter of a few
minutes he had me blasting a heavy load straight down his throat.  I have
to tell you that the sex I had that week ranks among the best of my life.

"Needless to say with two horny teenagers sex was on the schedule 4
sometimes 5 times a day every day of that wonderful week together.  It was
always the same; Bruce would work on me until I fed him my hot load.
Always the same, until the last night.  That night will always be very
special to me.  We made love.  Real passion, tongues down each other's
throats, rolling around for hours and finally I fucked him.  It was one of
the best fucks of my life, I didn't want it to end.  After I shot my wad
and pulled out, Bruce started beating himself off, but I pushed his hand
away and for the first and only time in my life I went down on another man.
It didn't last long, I no sooner had him fully in my mouth then he drained
his balls down my throat.  It was his first fuck and my first cock, so I
guess you could say we took each other's cherry.  So you see sex of any
type, between two people who care for each other can be beautiful."

I'd listen to his story in amazement and with a growing hunger for
him. When I knew he was finished talking I whisper my request, "Dad, I'm
gay and I want to suck your cock."

He took a deep breath and a little chuckle.  "Do you want to do it here or
should we go in the bedroom?"