Date: Wed, 20 Aug 2008 15:29:56 -0400 From: kris Subject: Finally, chapter 13. Finally. Part 13. This story is a work of fiction, gee, I would kind of think that you all would know that by now! Anyway, dicks out and get ready for some fun in the sun! Questions, comments and suggestions welcome as always: Kristiantrey@aol.com It was a long, hot fracking walk down the beach from the main parking lot to where dad said was the gay men's nude beach. We did pause in the rest room and shower building before we left, to change into our suits and stuff. This place looked like a good place to have some fun--out of the hot sun, too. From the graffiti on the walls of the stalls (enough, I know) it seemed like it was a hopping fuck joint. Anyway, we finally got past the part of the beach were the families played and then went on and then over a long stone jetty. Jackpot! Naked hot guys everywhere, screwing each other right there in the sun and sand--ok, I'm being a little cunt, as daddy would say. Sure, there were many hot and even not so hot guys on the beach, some with bathing suits on, some with nothing at all, sitting in the sun, playing in the water or walking the sand. But no one was screwing around that I could see. Guess stupid blond me thought the guys would be going at it all over the damn place? We walked to about the middle of the beach, between the first stone jetty we had crossed and the second about ½ mile further on down. I looked at the guys we passed, as we carried our assorted beach stuff. Most were cute or handsome, well built or just plain real men--but that is just what they were, men. I was by far the youngest guy I saw, though 16 isn't all that young, I guess? Sure, there were a few 18-20 something's, mostly smooth young twink types with much older dudes at their sides. At lot of older guys, most tanned but many not in the greatest shape--but hell, I just wanted to see dick! Or taste it or feel it deep inside me. Guess I am just a little slut boy like my daddy always tells me I am? Dad took us up into the dunes, not too far, just far enough for some privacy but anyone walking by could look between the beach-grass covered piles of warm Florida sand to where we set up our `camp'. two big beach umbrellas, blankets, coolers, bags of stuff, the junk we needed to play on the beach all day long. I was sitting on the blanket, still wearing my board shorts and tee shirt as dad and Rico and Cuff started stripping. I hadn't yet, not that I was shy or anything, right? Actually I was too busy drooling over two young hunky muscle boys who were walking past, totally nude with no fracking tan lines even, their beautiful bodies exposed for all to see. Not to mention their tasty cocks! "Chris, you going to join us?" Dad asked me, then turned and saw who I was looking at. "Hum, tasty looking, ain't they?" I looked back at dad and his guy and my guy, all totally nude now, shrugged, then started stripping. I saw I had an audience real quick once my board shorts hit the sand! Like the good little boy I am, I made sure that the watching guys could see every inch of me, even bending way over to playfully struggle out of my tangled shorts that had got wrapped around my ankles. My `audience' seemed to like it--at least I thought so, from the site of their smiles and their hardening cocks, anyway. The somewhat cooler air felt good on my hot young skin, I actually just wanted to run down and jump into the ocean, but two things held me back. One, I was damned afraid I'd pop a boner if any more hot dudes walked past, and two, I knew I better put on sun-block or the parts of me that aren't tan would burn in a flash. Rico and Cuff were already taking care of that for each other, rubbing sun-block everywhere onto each others body. Dad took the second tube and pulled me up off the beach blanket, then started rubbing me too. Every fucking inch of me. I noticed two older studs, both nude, walking by and saw their mouths drop as daddy bent me over and he rubbed my butt with sun lotion. I felt a damn thick daddy finger slide inside me, rubbing lotion even there! As I bent over for dad's probing, sticky fingers, I saw the two guys looking right at us, their own dicks getting hard as dad put a second finger into me. I shuddered a little from the feeling and from the eyes on us. Another guy was walking by just as I was rubbing the sticky stuff around my daddy's big cock and balls, on my knees, with his daddy dick right in front of my mouth. I turned and saw him, a hot stud with a shaved head, staring at us. I smiled at him and noticed that even inside his own baggy long shorts, his dick was very hard and obvious very excited to see us. I even bent in and gave my beloved daddy's dick a quick kiss, which made the watching stud shake and then turn away--I hope he had enjoyed the show! We spent the next couple of hours playing in the ocean, lying in the sun and just having fun. I forgot about being nude and stopped worrying if I popped a stiff one--we all did now and then when our play turned a little more erotic. Like with me kissing my Cuff in the water, my arms around his neck, my legs around his waist, his rock-hard dick against my butt--if it wasn't for the waves trying to push us apart, I think I would have had my first underwater fuck then and there. Cuff and I had finally come out of the water when dad called us to lunch--both with hard dicks sticking straight ahead (ok, gay-ly forward for all you p.c. queers) to the smiles and horny looks of several of the closest guys on the beach. We had a wonderful lunch of cold fried chicken and chips and sodas and stuff, then we asked our handsome, fully naked daddy-a little loudly as there seemed to be a lot guys around just then--if Cuff and I could take a walk on the beach. "Sure, kids, have fun. But don't go past the next jetty. You'll see why when you get there if you go that far, and boys," Daddy said just as loudly as he saw all the guys around looking at us standing there naked except for out hats, "don't go in the water or the dunes! No swimming unless we're watching you and no you-know-what unless you bring them back here, so my Rico and I can make sure you play safe, ok?" "Yes, daddy." I answered. "Yes, sir." Cuff more formal reply. "They should be ok, Scott." Rico said. "Just listen to your daddy, boys, ok?" "Right, husband-mine." Daddy said. "Now get going, kids." I walked down the beach, naked and holding hands. Hot, sexy naked guys all around us, looking and lusting and wanting us, and all I could think of was that phrase: "Husband-mine!" My ass-chasing father had said that? Mr. fuck every hole in site? Damn-shit! Those two words almost knocked the world out from under me. Hell, I know daddy and Rico aren't big Dr. Who fans even though they will watch it with me, so what the fuck? It took poor Cuff several attempts to even get my attention. Finally, he had to pull me to him and ram his tongue in my mouth right in front of a group of several guys under big rainbow colored beach umbrellas, to even get me to notice him. We looked eye to eye for a second, his dark ones in my bright blue ones. Then our tongues found each other and my thoughts went away and we made out. Ok, so I finally closed my eyes and forgot about what dad had said as we kissed, I wasn't that out of it! His sun-warmed body felt so good to me, pressed to my own naked one. That kiss might just have led to more if those guys didn't yell and laugh and try to get us to join them on the sand. We hurried on, both looking back once and seeing what had to be 5 or 10 dudes all doing it now right there on the beach. I guess the site of us two young studs turned them on? Or of out teen hard-ons as we parted lips and walked away? Whatever! We made it to the second jetty and looked past it. Dad was sure right, we didn't want to go any farther. We could see about a mile up the beach more big condos and hotels and stuff standing at the waters edge, but right in front of us, the beach was still backed by the jungle of the state park that we were in--swamps and stuff behind the dunes where who knew what tropical things lay in wait--and I don't mean tanned beach boys! Snakes, gators, or whatever, I wouldn't go in there for anything. Nor would I go past the jetty, cause on the other side, even though it was still the nude gay beach, it was the female nude gay beach! This 16 year old naked queer boy wasn't about to go walking past a bunch of naked lesbians, no matter that we and they are all gay. And that we were all nude. No fracking way. We got back to dad and Rico a while later, after passing those men again on our way back, now sleepy in the sun after their fun, many smiling at us as we walked by. I did notice another thing about the guys on the beach, even the youngest and sexiest were no means any match for my daddy or my Rico. There were younger guys, a few better built, but none could match my dad or his boyfriend ("Husband-mine!!") for looks or just plain old sexy hot bodies! Nor even come close to my Cuff, though I will admit I may be just a little biased there, right? What do my horny readers think? Dad was happy to see us. Rico was too. Both hugged us and kissed us and well, got things a-growing real quick. And got us a lot of looks. But that was all, just looks, no one seemed ready to make the move, even when daddy picked me up with my legs wrapped around his flat stomach, his nine inches hard and wet and right under my waiting teen hole. That got looks and moans, but no takers. "I was afraid of this." Dad said. "Si, no one wants to come and play, Scott." Rico answered. "I wonder why, they all look so hot and horny." Cuff asked. "Si, but I think most are afraid of our beautiful baby boy here." Rico smiled at me, a smile to make my heart his if it didn't already belong to Cuff. And daddy and I guess Rico too? "Christian here is just too damn cute and so young and tasty looking." "True," dad said, "but I think it's cause there are four of us and their afraid to join in? Tell you what, Rico, my love, take our older son for a walk in the dunes and see if you too can scare up some action--but if you do, bring them back here. Take this bag with some to the 'beach supplies`, ok?" "Si, Scott, whatever you say, my husband." Ok, they have just got to stop that or I would just freak out. "Come, eldest son of ours, lets go get us some cock." I kissed Cuff good-by and saw the gleam in his eyes at the thought of him and Rico trolling for dick--or Rico trolling for dick with Cuff as bait. The look in my daddy's eyes said that was what he had planned to do with me. Use me as bait to get us some fun in the sun. Cute, young, blond haired, blue eyed, slender, short, under-aged bait! "Christian, come here, son." Dad said to me. He was laying with his legs spread wide and his dick hard and wet. Looking in his eyes I knew what my daddy wanted me to do. I got on my hands and knees in the warm sand and swallowed daddy dick, right down to his balls. Hot moans from him, wet dick down my throat, then finally I felt a stranger's hand on my up-turned, naked teen butt. His warm, rough fingers were running over my young, pale skin. I shuddered at the feel of the stranger's warm hand on my naked, exposed flesh. In between sucking my daddy's cock and enjoying the strangers hand on my butt, including the now even better feeling of two of his hot fingers exploring inside of me, gently going in and out of my well used but still tight hole, I got a look at the guy. It was the same older but sexy guy with the shaved or I guess maybe even bald head who had so enjoyed my show earlier today. But now his long shorts were on the sand and a hot 8 plus inch piece of thick man dick was ready and waiting and wanting my boy-hole. It didn't have long to wait, of course. "Go ahead, dude, fuck my kid." Daddy growled. "Give him a hard ride with that thick cock, stud, don't worry , he loves it." "Fucking sweet." The bald guy moaned as he hit bottom deep inside my teen ass. "Hot as shit, and so fucking tight." "My son is a good fuck, ain't he?" Daddy smiled at the guy. "I've taught him well." That was about the end of the conversation, as the bald dude was too busy enjoying my tight hole to reply. He gave me a long, hot, body-shaking screw, until we were both soaking wet from sweat in the hot summer sun. His moans and groans matched by daddy, as he just loves watching his smutty young son take dick. Any dick, but especially some strange man's teen-loving meat. I felt the guy ram in one last time, a hard shove that almost knocked me off my knees, then he was just about screaming in joy from the feeling of coming up my hot young teen ass. Guess he likes me? "Chris, be a good little boy and suck him clean, son." My smiling daddy told me. "That's my good little slut of a cock sucking baby boy." I licked that sticky dick clean, loving the taste of it, fresh from my just creamed teen hole. Then he left and dad sent me to jump in the ocean and cool down and clean off. Then I quickly ran back, as I saw daddy talking to two more guys. "Ok, Chris, get on your hands and knees, this time under the beach umbrella so you don't get that pretty pale ass of yours sunburned." Daddy told me as he finished drying me off with a big, soft beach towel. "These two guys want a go at you, ok, baby boy?" "Yes, daddy." I answered. "Whatever you want, daddy. I'll suck them or they can fuck me or whatever you say, daddy, ok?" "Good little cum hound." Daddy again laughed at me. "I think they will want to do both with you, right, guys?" The two men, ok, one was maybe 18 if that, the other was more like daddy's age, agreed with my daddy. The young one, a smooth, skinny young guy, I guess you call them 'twinks?', put his maybe 7 inch long dick in my mouth. I started tasting and sucking on it, going down to his shaved crotch and getting those sexy moans in response to my mouth on dick actions. The older guy, taller, tanner, with short salt and pepper hair and a stocky build, was lining up his shorter but fatter dick with my teen ass. The older dude, I guess the younger one's `daddy?', went balls deep with one hard, quick shove. That damn dick was a lot thicker than I thought, it fracking hurt as it ripped into me--almost as thick as daddy's `husband', Rico's was. Good thing I was well lubed with sticky cum or he might have hurt me! Yeah, like any dick I ever had as a teen had ever hurt anything like those fucking bastards who abused and raped me when I was just a kid. I pushed those bad thoughts away, as I have had to do more and more these days, and went back to enjoying the two dicks using me. The two guys were busy making out and kissing like crazy as they each enjoyed the feeling of my young body taking their dicks. One thick one up my butt, one tasty one down my throat. That's what this slut of a cum loving teen likes--hot, man and man on me action, fucking me hard, pushing those old nightmare thoughts away. They enjoyed me so much I was soon filled with spunk, my dry throat welcoming the hot stuff as if flowed down into me--that feeling of warm cum as it slides down your throat just one of the greatest in the world. Followed by that other great feeling, of hot spunk shooting off deep inside my ass, filling me up with even more creamy cum. The guys paused long enough for me to catch a breath or two before switching around, this time though, I lay on my back and the 18-something stud lifted my now tired legs and held them up as he slid in deep. The older guy turned my head to his sticky dick and I licked it clean before sucking it back to full hardness. That job took awhile. But he was stroking my face and running his fingers through my long blond hair as I sucked him and rode his boy's dick. That was nice. Young stud boy going at it deep up my ass got off first. I could feel him as he slammed deep one final time before he exploded inside me, for once enjoying a tight ass for himself instead of taking his guy's dick up his ass or so many of his guy's friends as he usually did. He sure seemed to enjoy getting off in me. Kissing my sand-covered feet even as he came. They shared a kiss as I kept sucking. The older guy's dick throbbed as he kissed his young stud, thinking about what was going to happen next. I closed my eyes and just kept sucking like the good little boy I am. But opened them as that hot cock suddenly swelled up all hard and exploded in my mouth. I looked to see what had excited the guy so much, and wouldn't you know it, it was his boy sliding his cute young ass down my daddy's huge dick! The 18 year old had just hit bottom as his older man watched, getting so excited that he had cum into my open mouth. As the 18 year old rode daddy, I looked at the man. He smiled down at me, my bright blue eyes looking deep into his darker ones. His dick got all hard all over again, so I just went back to sucking, to the noise of my daddy and his boy going at it. I got the last load of sperm from these dudes as we watched daddy, with the 18 year old stud boy now on his knees, repeatedly slam into his tight ass until he got off. Daddy pulled out and shot all over the teens open, gapping asshole, then rammed back in, pushing that sticky scum back into the teen's young body. That sight set the hot stud in my mouth off again, giving me a smaller but still hot and wonderful load of spunk deep into my sucking throat. Of course I licked daddy clean after they left, loving the taste of my dad's long cock, fresh from that hot teen's just spunked hole. Daddy held me to his own sweat-soaked body and we kissed for a long time. I liked that, though I started to wonder where the hell Rico and my Cuff were and what the fuck or who the fuck they were doing? Daddy joined me for a quick dip, to cool off again and to wash the sweat and sand and spunk off of us. I ran back to the blanket to keep out of the sun, ok, so I think I had had enough sun for today as I was getting a little red, especially on those parts that I don't usually show off on the beach at home, while dad took his fracking sweet time getting back; I had drank like a bottle and a half of cold water from our cooler before he got back. And snacked on some chocolate too, before daddy got back with my next `snack' for the afternoon. I heard three voices, daddy's of course, and two I didn't know, but, and this was weird, they sounded so much alike that I almost thought it was just one guy until I looked up and saw daddy standing there with his two new friends. They were the two hot muscle guys I had first seen as I stripped out of my tee-shirt and bathing suit when we first got here, I guess they had been hanging around looking for some fun. Even the first time I saw them they had looked an awful lot alike, up close like this to the two nude muscle studs, I could see that they were almost identical. "Christian, do you feel up to playing with these two sexy brothers? Twins actually, right guys?" Twins? Never played with two of those before, I wonder what it would be like? So of course I told daddy I wanted to play with them. He called me a good boy again and told me to suck twin brother dick. I sure the fuck did, on my knees in front of the two twin muscle boys as they made out. Sucking down two nice maybe 8 inch long but kinda skinny and almost identical cocks, right down to first twin`s, then the other's, smooth, shaved crotches. Was it different sucking and getting fucked by twins? I guess, though just like most of the guys on our trip to Fort Lauderdale, with one exception (a very cute one that would shake up my feelings so fracking much here and then turn my whole life upside down next fall), they were just two horny men out for some fun and wanting a little teen ass and mouth to get off in. Typical men! They were fun, but they didn't do much for me? You know, I sucked them and let them fuck me and even...but except for some quick hands feeling me up and a few strokes of my dick, neither sucked me or did anything to make me feel like I hopefully made them feel--they never even tried to kiss me once. Not that many of the guys did? I guess I know my place--at the feet of a man! Or Men. Anyway, so they didn't do anything to me off, I wasn't surprised. But I had fun taking turns sucking each one before they took turns fucking my ass. That was the one weird thing about those two, they both had to be doing the same thing at the same time, both getting sucked or fucking me or whatever, I did have fun so it was ok by me. I love dick, any dick, even Andy Dick? Just kidding. (If your reading this, Mr. Dick, then ok, I'm not kidding!). After they both took turns fucking me on my hands and knees, but not cumming yet, they asked dad if they could try something a little more 'extreme' with me. Of course, the grinning bastard said, "why not? Have fun!" and they did. I didn't, not at first even though they were gentle, but I got into it as I watched my daddy get all hot and horny watching them doing it. "It," of course was that they wanted to double fuck me. That really didn't surprise me, though daddy telling them that it was ok sure did. But, hey they aren't hung like he and Rico are and I have done it before, so I didn't complain--no that I ever would. So one muscle twin lay on his back and I climbed on his dick, sliding my teen ass down over that wet and sticky prick--dad had given them lube, at least, from those `beach supplies` Cuff and Rico bought. We usually don`t use lube at home, don`t need it, my ass is just usually always dripping spunk, which is the best damn lube, period--then I bent forward and the second one was poking at my butt, trying to get in. Which he soon did, thanks to dad's lube and the cum slicking up my insides and his rather forceful pushing--enough to make me moan and groan and wince when he bottom out next to his twin brother, 8 inches times two deep up my tight and hurting teen asshole. Ouch! Ok, so I don't go around with a measuring tape, so how do I know, experienced little cock sucker that I am, how long a dick is? By comparing it to dad's or Rico's or my beloved Cuff's, which I have measured! Naughty little me! Eight inches of dick is about what I can suck without having to work at it, nine inches like daddy's makes my throat sore, 7 ½ inches like my Cuff's gives me plenty of fun, and Rico's almost nine inch super thick cock is just hard on anyone's throat--or ass! So that's how I judge dick size, ok? Now back to the show! Twin muscle boys double fucking my sweet hole may have been fun for them, and daddy sure was getting off on watching, but it just hurt! They were not like those two other guys, my buddies back home who had done this with me that one drunken night--they had kissed me and cuddled me and made me feel good before, during and after they had tag-teamed my ass. But hey, I'll take any dick I can get, so long as watching me get screwed makes my daddy happy. And I sure was. He was hard and dripping and they were both panting as they painfully shoved deep again and again, both together like they were one huge dick, and it fucking still hurt. But I just took them and rode them, as I always do. Until they were shaking and moaning and close to cumming--but they kept slowing down and holding off that wonderful moment to make this last as long as they could. Which is how my Cuff and Rico found us, me with two long dicks up my hurting ass, daddy hot and horny and watching, the two muscle boys having the time of their young lives. I looked at my naked Cuff standing their, Rico nude as well, both with now-hard dicks as they watched me getting royally screwed like that. "Fucking sweet." Rico was the first to say anything. "Scott, husband-mine, when do we get to try that? With our baby boy? Si?" "You'd like that, wouldn't you, my love?" Daddy laughed. "We'll see what we can do about it, maybe later on tonight." No fucking way, I thought to myself, could I ever take dad and Rico like that! But did I have the balls to ever say `no' to either of them? I don't the fuck know! But I know that would hurt like hell if not just rip me open, daddy and Rico are just too hung to do that with me? "Fuck no." Cuff's sharp voice startled us all. "Over my fucking dead body are you two guys with those monster dicks going to do that to MY Christian!" "Yours?" Daddy started to laugh but saw the look in my Cuff's eyes. "Mine!" Cuff replied, the sweetheart! "You'd rip him open, DADDY, and you both know that. I won't let anyone hurt him, some fucking great boyfriend I'd be if I did." "Christian, baby boy," Rico said, "you know we would never hurt you, si? We love you, don't we, Scott?" "Of course we do. Son , we would never hurt you. I was just joking, your too young to even think about doing that with us. You ok, son?" Part of me was pissed off. Part of me was terrified. Part of me loved Cuff so fucking much at that moment. And the little cunt in me just was saying, do it! Show them I can take them or anyone and do anything they want to make them happy. So I'm a sick little fucker, right? Right! So instead of answering him, I just ground my hips down on the two invading dicks and moaned, giving him a look of pure horny lust-driven slut boy getting double fucked and loving it kinda look. Groaning and moaning as I rode twin dick. And finally getting them so hot and horny that they shot off, almost at the exact same second--geez, what's with these two? Cuff had knelt over the muscle boy laying on his back as I was getting double-spunked. His dark eye's looking into mine, his lips suddenly on my own. Now that was what I wanted, a man, my man, to kiss me right now! Of course as he held me and we sucked face, he sort of pushed me back and I ended up with all of both muscle boy's still shooting dicks shoved even deeper into my hurting hole. But he was worth the pain. As were his wonderful sweet kisses. I heard grunts and groans as I slid off those two muscle boys dicks. They didn't stick around long enough for me to lick them clean--their fucking loss! The sounds I heard were from daddy and Rico and some guy I guess Rico and Cuff had brought back with them? All I know was that they had some skinny stud between them as they kissed, daddy's dick down the guy's hot throat and Rico's monster shoved deep up his open and willing butt! Cuff and I lay in each others arms, kissing and making out as daddy and Rico and their new friend went at it. But I was so fracking hot I took my guy by the hand and we walked down to the now almost empty beach and jumped into the cool water. We laughed and hugged and kissed and then Cuff got all horny and hey, since I was so fucking open still and the waves had calmed down too, I finally got that underwater fuck I wanted. But from him and only him! My legs around his slender waist as I rode up and down his dick, our lips locked together until he couldn't stand it anymore and he pulled me as close as he could to his wet body, his dick driving in deep and then I got to enjoy my lover boy's sweet spunk as it pumped into my wanting hole. His hot cum soothing away the pain from those twin's double fuck and from daddy's and Rico's words too. "I love you, Christian." Cuff whispered to me. "I love you, Danny." I whispered back. As we untangled ourselves daddy and Rico joined us. Splashing and cooling off in the water with us. Then daddy pulled me to him and held me tight and kissed me softly as Cuff and Rico looked on. "Christian, son, my young love, you know I would never ever do anything to hurt you, right? Nor would Rico, ok?" Daddy said over the sound of the gentle waves. "I love you so much, we both do." "Si, Chris, baby boy, I love you like you were my own son. Daniel too." Rico added, kissing my Danny on his cheek. "We would never, ever hurt you, ok? Neither of you?" "I know." Cuff answered (Danny is his real name, in case you guys don't remember? Daniel actually. But that's way to formal for me.). "But I won't ever let anyone hurt my Chris, ok?" "I know, Cuff, we wouldn't either" Dad said. "Chris, you do know you can say `no' to anything I or Rico or even Cuff want, right, son? And to any other guy who asks you to do something you don't want, ok?" "Daddy, I really wish I could, I just can't say no to you or to anyone." I told them, surprising even myself. "I just don't think I even know how." I just closed my blue eyes and held tight to my daddy, praying he wouldn't ask more. What could I even say? My body shook in daddy's arms, from long-ago pain, from fear, from my shame at myself--both for saying that and for feeling like I was stuck between telling daddy the terrible truth and having him go off the deep end and go and kill my ex-step dad, and just knowing I should be able to tell him anything--he's my dad! Three sets of very confused eyes met behind me as Dad and Cuff and Rico heard me talk, not knowing what to say or even what I was talking about. But all suddenly scared for me and of what I might say. Daddy could feel me shake as I even said that much to him--and them. "Guys, I think we've had enough sun and fun for one day." Daddy said, not really knowing what else to say. "Let's dry off and get packed up and head back, ok?" "You ok, Chris?" Cuff came to me and wrapped his arms around my now clothed body after we were dried off and had packed up and were about to reach the parking lot--a long, hot, very quiet walk for the four of us. All thinking who knows what. "Chris?" "With you next to me, I am, Danny." I quietly answered. "I just wish you'd been around when I was little, Danny, I sure could have used you to protect me." More silent walking until we reached the car. Of course, I had no idea that dad was right behind me and had heard me. And was furiously wondering what the hell I was talking about and getting more worried by the moment. But even my big, strong, handsome daddy didn't know how to even begin to ask me about that!