Date: Thu, 4 Aug 2005 08:57:57 EDT
From: Parsifal
Subject: First Memory

They say that we have no memories from much before the age of 3.  They may
be right.  But I have a memory from before, much before, wordless and no
stranger than all the rest of the world I was born into.

I was on my back and saw his face and that excited me because he was
familiar and smiled warmly.  He lowered the side of the crib and the undid
what must have been my diaper.  It was wet and itchy and I was glad.

He leaned forward still with that warm smile and soft sounds, soft
comforting sounds, and kissed my belly and buried his face into my belly
and made me laugh.  I loved him so much.

He opened his mouth and gently took my entire crotch into his moth, a
gentle sucking, his lips sealing the vacuum.  His tongue nudged and flicked
my penis and it made me catch my breath.  I was very quiet and all of me
entered into my crotch.  It was as if he had taken all of me into his
mouth.

He let go with his lips and looked into my face and I put my hands on his
cheeks, so kind was he.  I wanted more and he understood.  He leaned
forward again and this time just lightly touch the tip of my penis with the
tip of his tongue, oh so gently, oh what pleasure.  It was so exquisite I
began to pee onto his tongue.  He laughed with delight.

He then wiped me dry and patted some powder on my bottom and crotch, and
put on a fresh diaper.

I don't know if this happened just once or several times.  It is a memory
embedded in me of a time when he loved me, before he changed, before the
terrible change, before the smile sagged on one side, before he stopped
smiling forever.  Dear man, dear man, where have you gone?