Date: Wed, 1 Jan 2020 20:37:31 +0000 (UTC) From: anthony scordato Subject: I didn't pee the bed chapter 12 gay male incest This story contains sexual situations between two bothers and other males. If you are under the age of 18 and are legally not allowed to read this story, or if material of this nature is offensive to you, then you should skip this story. The author claims the copyright to all parts of this story and no duplication or publication of this story is allowed except by the author. This is my second story for NIFTY. The first is in High School, Danny's First Love. Last posted on June 27th. I'm not a writer, but I thought I'd again try my hand at fiction. The seeds for this story were planted by an ex-lover. I'm a college graduate who majored in the hard science, did post-graduate work in medical research. English has always been my worst subject. So here goes. I hope you enjoy it. Let me know what you think. Please donate to Nifty! I Didn't Pee The Bed, part Twelve By Anthony Scordato Danny and I didn't get to sleep until dawn. I hadn't enjoyed sex that much since the day my brother and I were reunited. We spent an hour sucking each other and 69'ing. We sat on his balcony, talked and drank wine. I enjoyed talking to him almost as much as having sex. He was interesting, funny and insightful. He talked about being a skinny nerd who was bullied and how his best friend had his back. He asked about what brought me to foster care. I sighed and shook my head. I explained how my mother was a drug addict and passed away and how I tried to keep social services from finding my brother and me. He noticed and I admitted that it was difficult to talk about and we left it there. We headed back to bed and started giving each other head. While his cock was in my mouth, he licked and kissed my butt hole. His tongue probed my hole, as he straddled my face. I kissed and licked his cock and balls. His cock was rock hard and the biggest I had experienced. I had become pretty good at taking cock down my throat without gagging. Paul had a good sized dick and I could swallow all of his. But, as of yet, I couldn't take all of Dan's cock. But I was determined. I was on my back. He had my legs pressed to my chest with his face in my ass and his balls hanging over my face. I took a breath, relaxed my throat, took his cock into my mouth and pressed forward until I had my nose buried in his ball sac. I grabbed his hips and pressed him down. He began fucking my throat. When I came up for air, I called out, "Please fuck me." He lubed his cock and my ass and then slid in. I hadn't been fucked in months. Paul and I stopped bedding each other since I entered therapy. I was once again tight. As he pressed forward I resisted asking him to stop. I wanted him and didn't mind the initial pain. Once he was balls deep into me, he lay on me and kissed me. I looked at him and said, "Fuck, you are huge." "Not really. It just feels that way," and smiled. "You're big enough." "You okay?" "Fuck me." He fucked me and we kissed and moaned. We changed positions several times and fucked for almost a half-hour, each of us getting close to coming several times. Finally, I called out, "I've got to come," as I jerked off while he fucked me. He knew what he was doing. He began short and quick thrusts, slamming into my prostate each time. My orgasm was incredible. When I stopped coming, he pulled his cock from my ass and shot his load onto my stomach. He lay on me and kissed me. "You're incredible," he said. "Best sex I've had in years," I said. We showered. When we made it back to bed, I noticed that the sky was no longer black with stars. We cuddled and fell asleep. I did my internship at UCSF. Danny and I continued seeing each other. We went on dates, had great sex, talked and became great friends. He didn't date anyone else and neither did I, but neither of us put restricts on the other. We didn't talk about being in love, but I did love him, maybe as a really good friend. He was someone I'd want to know the rest of my life. As we got to know each other and trust each other, we talked with greater detail about our earlier lives and, of course, he asked about my brother. I told him almost everything and he knew that I had secrets; secrets that he put no pressure on me to reveal. A year had passed. A year of therapy. A year of talking often to Andrew but not seeing him. A year of great times and great sex with Danny. And a year to get to know myself and feel like I came to terms with my past. I graduated UCSF, four years of medical school and with the help of Danny I got a residency in pediatric medicine at UCSF. I started my first year of residency and Andrew started his third year of Veterinarian school. We talked two or three times a week. I could tell that for the last several weeks he was unhappy. He insisted that he was fine. Finally, I pushed hard. "I know I don't know you as I did when we were kids, but you sound miserable. Is it that you feel you can't talk to me about this stuff anymore? Is it school?" "No," Andrew said. "I love what I'm doing. I guess I just don't want to put words to what's going on. Like then it won't be real." "What is it?" "Things aren't working with David. I was sure it would, but," It sounded like he was crying. "Drew, talk to me." "He's fucking around. Actually, it wouldn't be so bad if it was a one-night-stand thing. I think I could deal with that. But he's seeing this one guy." "Fuck." There was nothing more painful for me than hearing Andrew is distress. Immediately my caretaking instinct kicked in. "He's frustrated with all the time I have to put into school. He feels neglected." "I thought he was in school with you." He sighed. "He dropped out. He wasn't doing well. It's hard, really hard." "So, he must feel shitty about that and you're doing well." "Exactly. And that's why I say I could understand if he was fucking around, but not seeing one guy regularly." "You've got to be pissed as hell." He sighed. "Jas, I don't know how I feel." "You're worth so much more than someone treating you like that." "Jas, please. I'm no angel either." "I know that. Listen to me, you should," "Jas don't. Don't get angry. I really wanted to tell you what was and is going on. It really helps me a lot to know that you know and care." "Of course, I care." "But if you tell me what to feel and think and what to do, then when I decide to do something I won't know if it was what I really wanted to do or if I did it because you wanted me to do it. I don't want it to be six months from now and I've asked him to move out and then I'm miserable and then thinking I did it because you pressured me to do it." "I don't want to pressure you to do anything. I'm just worried about you." "Worry about me. Ask about how I'm doing and let me tell you, but don't tell me what you think I should feel or do. Please." "Okay. I'll try. It will be hard for me, but I promise I'll let you decide." "I love you, Jas. I'll figure this out." "So, how are you dealing with this?" "I guess not well. It's starting to fuck me up at school. I can't concentrate wondering if he's going to be home when I get there or if he's spending the night with this other guy." "School is about the rest of your life. It has to be your first priority." "I know." We talked about how he was coping and focused on school. Although I wanted to ask about David and remark about him, I held my tongue. He cried. I cried. We talked at length. I asked him if he wanted me to visit him or if he wanted to come to San Francisco. "I can scrape up the money," I said. We agreed that taking time off from school for either of us would be difficult. "I'll be okay," he said. "I just have to decide what to do." I had been talking about Andrew and Danny in my therapy. My therapist had been empathetic and supportive until lately when he was becoming more confrontive and yet in a way that still felt caring. I went into see him soon after I talked to Andrew. "He told me that I had to back off. Something about him deciding what to do." I explained the best I could what Andrew told me. "It kind of hurt my feelings and then after I hung up I started getting angry. I mean, if he's in the middle of all this shit maybe he's not making the right decisions. I mean it's school. The rest of his life. David isn't. I wanted to run to him. Make it all better for him. I can't stand knowing he's in pain." Tears filled my eyes. "I know you think he and I being lovers is wrong, but I can't let go of it." "You mean because it's incest?" I nodded. "If he wasn't your brother and you felt the way you did about him and acted the way you often talk about, I'd be concerned." "What does that mean?" "You refuse to let him grow up," he said. "What?" "Well, life is about hardship, learning to manage hardship. You know, the ups and downs of relationships. Taking responsibility for your own needs if they're not being met. You seem to believe that you know what is best for him. Like he was five or six. Maybe it is best for him to ride this out at this point in his life or maybe it is best for him to break ties. You don't know that." "I think I do. I love him." "I believe you do love him. But often when I listen to you talk of him, I hear a big brother talking about a young boy. Like you're feelings are stuck in the past. How about this. From now on let's talk of Andrew as if he was not your brother. Let's talk of him as a boy you grew up with and reconnected with and keep everything the same." I stared at him and nodded. "You're hoping, deep in your heart that you and he will eventually re-establish your long ago love slash sexual relationship; something that you tried to do a few years ago and from which he bolted. I mean he moved across the country." "You're pissing me off." "Tell me." "It's like you're putting it on me. I made him leave." "It takes two. Did you ever ask him why he chose to move when he could have gained the same knowledge here.? I mean, UC Davis is one of the top Vet schools in North America." "No." "Why not?" I shook my head. "Caretaking relationships are controlling. It's called being co-dependent. You need him to be dependent on you and he needs to be dependent on you. However, you the caretaker eventually feels deprived and he feels smothered. They only work as long as both people agree to maintain their roles. But they are always dysfunctional and typically both people feel resentment." "When we were together for a while, he'd say that I was trying to control him. But I wasn't. I just," "Just?" I sighed. "I knew what he should do," I said and hated the words coming out of my mouth. "I remember a story you told me. It was one of his birthdays." "When we had pizza. He loved that." "Interesting." "What?" "That's what stands out for you." I stared at him. "What struck me was him asking for a weekend of sex without you being in control. That's what I remember about that birthday." I felt my stomach sink. "He was what? Twelve years old," he asked. "It was his thirteenth birthday." "And what he wanted was space to have sex when and the way he wanted to have sex." I sighed loudly. "I think he felt like that when he spent part of the summer with me. Not about the sex." I fell silent. Tears filled my eyes. "Maybe even about the sex. Fuck, I really fucked things up." "Jason. We've spent a long time talking about how you don't believe you can ever love anyone again. I want you to hear me. I believe you love Danny the way two men who are in a relationship love each other. I believe it works because neither of you talk of love, of commitment and don't live together. I believe if you and he entered a committed relationship, you might pull into trying to be his caretaker and the more he tried to resist that the more you'd try. But the space you've given each other is what it makes it work. I have no doubt that he has his stuff, because he keeps you at arms distance, too. "It wouldn't work with Andrew. Why? Because of your history. If you and Andrew are to ever have a committed love relationship, you're going to have to learn to act toward him the way you act toward Danny. You're going to have to give up your caretaking roll." "But how do you love someone and not want to take care of them?" "You do love someone and you're not taking care of him. He doesn't ask to be taken care of and when he does ask, you do what he asks for and move on." "He never asks." "Well he does and you're excellent at reading people and what they need, so often he doesn't have to put his needs into words. When you first started having sex, you held each other and cuddled afterward. Later, it was your impulse to have sex, roll over and go to sleep. He asked that you spend some time cuddling and you did." I nodded. "You told me that he loves to have sex with a light on. But you also told me that Paul like to not have lights on. So, with Paul no lights. With Danny lights. Do you know that I have no idea what you like. Do you know?" I stared at him. Tears feel. I shook my head. "Exactly. Caretakers often don't know much about their own needs." "I hate that you know me so well. You must hate it when it's my hour to be here." "Wow. Now that comes right out of the textbook on the childhood of a caretaker. Jason, I have many feelings, many feelings when you are here. And I promise you, hating, dreading this hour has never been one of those feelings." I cried. "Jason." I looked up at him. "If you're going to have a successful relationship in which you are happy and can get your needs met, you're going to have to learn what they are and learn not to sacrifice them to make others happy." I nodded and cried silently. "By my calculation, Andrew has almost two years left of school in New York. What will happen between now and then is anyone's guess But if you're ever going to have a meaningful relationship with him, you have to step out of this roll and he's going to have to step out of his. Let's start our work on that." I sat and sobbed. "Talk to me." I shook my head. "I feel, I don't know, I feel relieved in a way." "Say more." "I don't know. It's like you aren't angry at me. Like you see me naked and you're still here. I hate being me. You're right I know almost immediately what someone needs and then I do that. That's what I did all those years with Corbin. I could read him and I gave him what he wanted and I did recent it. I would lay in bed after he fucked me with me on my hands and knees and I'd feel like a whore." "Say more." "When I was sixteen, he'd want to look at me while we had sex. Just looking at me got him hard. He never asked what I liked, but it felt great to have him look at me and get so turned on. I like that." "What?" "Being seen and exciting someone. Having them want me." "Unlike your mother and father who abandoned you." Tears filled my eyes. "I liked that Danny was so turned on that first night. I don't think I had ever been so turned on. And he stills loves looking at me." "Even though he's seen you many times and has gotten to know you." "Yeah. Fuck. It's weird that I still turn him on so much. I mean I get that first night, but now I mean we open a bottle of wine and sit and talk and laugh and he takes my hand and puts it on his junk and he's hard. It's weird right?" "Weird?" "Yeah. I mean I like that I turn him on, especially after so long and that he knows me so well." "But why is that weird?" "I guess it's not." "But you said it was." "Just that it hasn't changed," more tears. "By the time I was eighteen, Corbin no long was turned on my looking at me. I had to give him head and then he'd put me on my hands and knees and fuck me." "Like you were a sexual object rather than a sexual subject." "What's the difference?" "An object has no feelings, like a chair. A subject does have a subjective self, one that has a life and feelings of its own." "It's weird. Danny likes knowing what I like to do. He likes getting me crazy turned on. He asks me over and over if I mind that he doesn't bottom. I don't. I mean I like to fuck, but we have great sex." "He cares about your experience, what you're needing." "I think he's fucked up about something. I know he is. He's had a bad heartbreak. Really bad. He's told me that he thinks it broke his ability to love." "Does it feel like he loves you?" "Yes. For sure. Like his best friend. You know, friends with benefits." "We have to stop." As we stood, I asked. "Would you see him if I gave him your name and if he decided to see someone." "We will have to talk about that. Think about if you want to share me with someone else." "With him, I would share. I want him to get over whatever he's suffering." He smiled and said, "We will talk." That Friday Danny and I got together. We went to dinner. This time I paid for dinner and he bought the wine. We walked to his favorite Italian cafˇ, now my favorite too, and had dessert. It was a beautiful night. We decided to take the cable car across town and then walk the rest of the way to his apartment. I had told Danny that I was seeing a therapist. Danny had become the only person I could confide in. Recently he told me that he thought of me in the same way. Again, his not bottoming came up. "Do you think it bothers me?" I asked. "No. Well maybe." "I'm sure a lot of people don't like to bottom." "I like to bottom, or did. But it fucks me up in the head." "What do you mean?" We walked for a while. "Mark and I, my high school friend," "The guy that broke your heart." He sighed loudly. "Yeah. We didn't fuck for most of our relationship. I wanted him to fuck me. I pleaded with him to fuck me. He talked about fucking girls in the ass. I told him he could fuck me. He kept saying that he wouldn't fuck me unless he'd be okay with me fucking him. It told him that was bullshit. But that was his rule. Then one night he fucked me. I will never forget that night. It hurt but I wouldn't let him stop. He fucked me and kept saying that eventually I'd fuck him." "He never let you fuck him." "No, he did. We went on a camping trip for ten days and all we did was suck and fuck and he let me fuck him. I remember the first time I pressed my cock into his ass. We kissed and I pounded his ass. He fucked me. I remember him pressing into me and kissing me as he fucked me. I had been in love with him. He had fucked me before. But that night, I fell madly in love with him. I gave him everything. It's weird, I know. He had been fucking me but now we were kissing while he fucked me and I was fucking him and we were kissing." "So you fuck me and we kiss. We kiss all the time. I love kissing you. You're crazy good at it." He chuckled. "I love kissing. I think I decided that either I was going to be a bottom and kiss or a top and kiss, but not both. I think being a top and kissing is less vulnerable for me. I think bottoming and kissing is just too vulnerable for me. It's not about having a cock up my ass. I liked having a cock up my ass, but now it scares me." "Danny, I'm good with what we do." "I know. I think I just feel selfish, especially knowing that you like to top." "I'm fine. Have you ever used a dildo." "Yes, I have one." "Well, if you want to use it while we are together. I can help you with it." He smiled. "I know it's no big deal, but it feels weird to have someone there when I do." "You're still shy with me," I said and poked him. We smiled at each other. "It's about being vulnerable." I put my arm around him. "I have an idea." He laughed. "I'm getting hard." "I'd love to be a fly on the wall when you masturbate and let you then watch me. I can use your dildo or we can go buy one for me." "That feels pretty vulnerable. I'm not sure why but it feels like a trust thing. Would you feel comfortable being that vulnerable with me?" "Yes." "Don't you worry about me judging you." "Yeah, I guess," I sighed. "For sure." "Mark and I did something very similar. You know, I'll show you want I do that I won't let anyone know that I do and then you have to do it. Stuff like that. It excited both of us a lot." "And you've never done it again?" "No. Have you?" "Yes. Corbin loved a show and so did Paul. I think most guys do." "Well, that's not fair then. You're comfortable with it." "I think we can trust each other, don't you?" "Yes, but like you said, Mark and you were equally vulnerable. I'll feel vulnerable and you'll be in your comfort zone." I felt a surge of anxiety rush through my body. My face tingled. "I guess I could find a way to be vulnerable to you. Do you have any secrets that you'd never want anyone to know?" "Well," he said. "I guess it's kind of a secret with regard to my masturbatory activities. I mean I guess I can get kind of kinky when I'm alone. I'm never kinky with others." "Fuck, I love kinky. How about this? We'll make it a night of masturbation stuff. You go first and do your best. Then I'll go and do my best kink. Then you have to do what I did and I'll do what you did." He laughed. "That's what Mark and I did." "So, let's do it." "You said something about secrets. I've kind of figured that you have secrets," he said. Again I felt the anxiety. "Yeah, I guess. One mostly." "You're worried about telling me?" "Not many people know. My therapist, Paul and Corbin know." "And you think I'm more likely to judge you than them?" "Actually, no, but I don't want you to think ill of me." "That's my worry about letting someone watch me." I sighed. "Okay, let's do what I said and before the night is over I'll tell you. I hope it doesn't fuck things up." "You have little trust in me." "I trust you. It just feel scary." "That's how I feel, too. I did all this with Mark and well, he's gone and I've never heard from him again." "I promise you, nothing you can do will get me weirded out. So, is it a deal?" We were almost at his apartment. "Deal. And you're going to tell me this secret that's going to change my feelings toward you." "Yes."