Date: Sun, 4 Apr 2021 15:53:44 +0800 From: Bennett Tan Subject: I Kissed my Brother by Mistake - Part 7 Hi there. I'm sorry it took quite a while for this update, but it's because I've been so busy with school and I didn't have much free time to continue. I do appreciate the people who reached out, and I'm terribly sorry for making you wait so long :( Chapter 7: The words I spoke to Rhett last night kept repeating inside my head. I could still vividly remember his expression as he seemed visibly confused which made me all the more uncomfortable as I was trapped in the car with him on a two-hour drive back to our house. The air was filled with silence throughout the trip as Rhett never took his eyes away from the road, which I was grateful for, since I really didn't know how to deal with him right now. The cold air from the air conditioner dried my already puffy eyes. I don't remember how long I cried last night, but it's been a while since I had to silently cry myself to sleep like that. Rhett was right. What we did was nothing but a stupid mistake and that it would really be best for the both of us if we just forget about it. I hope it was as easy to do as it is to say, but whenever I even do so much as look at Rhett, I keep being reminded of his passionate eyes, his gentle caress, and it just hooks me further down the abyss. I woke up when we were just a few blocks away from home and I felt excited thinking about how I haven't seen my parents in a while. I jumped out of the car as soon as Rhett pulled over in front of the garage and I saw my parents waving at us from our porch. I walked over to them and gave each of them a bear hug. I really missed them. "Hey buddy, how's school? You haven't been calling us too much, we're starting to think you forgot about us." Dad said. I chuckled. "Sorry about that, I've just been so busy with school but I'll definitely call more when I get back. I missed you so much Ma and Pa." We headed inside and I instantly felt emotional from coming home after being away for a while. We just hung out in the living room watching Netflix for a while, and although Rhett and I were in a rough patch right now, I felt good. Rhett and I would talk casually to avoid arousing suspicion that something was going on and I just knew that I wasn't good at faking at all. I would barely look at him when he talked but it felt as if my heart was being squeezed dry every time. I just know that it'll be impossible to try to move on when the one you're trying to move on from is literally your brother. Fuck. The dinner was pretty lively with the exception of Rhett who only ever spoke when spoken to. Ma and Pa had heaps of questions, mostly to me, especially when they learned that I'm now unofficially a part of a band. I answered every single one of them and I felt Rhett's eyes on me every now and then, distracting me from my train of thought. "Everything okay, son? You've been quiet." dad asked. "Yeah Pa. Sorry, I'm just tired from the long drive." Rhett said. I fiddled both my thumbs together form under the table and decided that it was the most interesting thing to look at at the moment. We hung out in the living room after dinner, just watching whatever was on Netflix we deemed family friendly. Rhett was a few spaces away from me, looking all bored and apathetic. He stood up after a while and excused himself to his room. It didn't take too long until I myself felt drowsy, so I excused myself and dragged my feet up the stairs and into my room. I picked some clothes from my closet and headed straight to the bathroom, which was directly across Rhett's room, and I took a brisk night shower to freshen up and prepare for bed. When I got back to my room, I noticed that my phone was pinging like crazy. My high school friends knew for some reason that I was back in town for a few days and they basically forced me to go out with them tomorrow. Of course, I happily agreed because I also miss them like crazy and I have nothing else to do on my own anyway. I laid down my bed and draped the thick duvet over my body as I felt the unforgiving fatigue from the long day kick in. I thought I'd be able to sleep right away but my mind raced and images of Rhett colonized it. I really ruined everything. Rhett and I are somewhere in a situation where we can't ever get anything back to the way it was, especially since the only thing I can think of when I see him is how I told him I was falling in love with him. I tormented myself by thinking how disgusted he must be from my unsolicited confession, and just that thought was enough to trigger the tears that were longing to be released all day. At this point, I had little to no control over what I was thinking of when I reminisced about Rhett as I felt a desolating void in my chest and I began sobbing uncontrollably from the hopeless situation I got myself into. ------------ I woke up feeling lethargic, as if sleeping actually sapped away my energy instead of restoring it. I aimlessly walked towards the bathroom to freshen up and start my day and I was reaching for the knob when it twisted on its own and the suffocating presence of Rhett materialized from the other side. He was naked with only the thin fabric of towel draped around his waist, his dick visibly protruding in his front. I froze and my brain short circuited for a while as I stared at him with wide eyes. I eventually snapped out of my trance and slid away from the doorway to let him pass through. After a few seconds of pure awkwardness, he sighed and walked towards his room. My heart was racing like crazy just from what happened which I would barely even call an interaction, so I tried to gain control of my nerves with a cold shower. I quickly fixed myself up before heading downstairs and joining my Dad at the dinner table. "Hey bud, where are you off to?" he asked in between sips of his coffee. "Uhh, Jerome and the others wanted to hang out with me today. I hope that's okay?" I asked. Dad nodded. I started eating when I heard Rhett's footsteps down the stairs and my mood immediately shifted. It's always gonna be this hard when I'm around Rhett, and it's just something that I'm gonna have to live with. "Pa, I'll go ahead, I promise I won't be home too late." he said before dashing to the door. I suppose his friends wanted to hang out with him today too. After a while, I took off and met with my friends in the mall where we just basically wasted our day strolling around, eating, and watching a Marvel movie. When we were in line at the theaters, I felt really grateful that our bond didn't dwindle over time at all even if all of us didn't talk to each other as much as we used to. I genuinely had fun with the guys and I really didn't want the day to end. Jerome was my best friend in high school. He lived a couple of blocks away from me so we literally walked together to school every single day. He was walking me home since our house is closer to the bus stop than his and when we were just outside our front porch, I gave him a tight hug. This past week has been really tough for me, and today made me realize that I've been holding my breath for so long that I forgot to relax and let off some steam. "Thanks Jerome, I had a lot of fun today. It won't take too long before I come back again, so you better free up your schedule!" I joked. "Anything for you, man." he patted my back in a brotherly way. "Take care on your way home!" I said. The lights were already out from inside the house when I came in and I was scared for a second that I would be in trouble, but from the looks of it, they were probably all asleep. I tiptoed up the stairs, through the hall, and straight to the bathroom where I washed up and got ready for bed. I headed straight to bed right after and was out like a light in no time. I woke up with a parched throat thinking it was already morning but the digital clock by my nightstand alerted 2:47 AM. I debated for a minute with myself whether I had the energy to go downstairs to get myself a drink and I did because I didn't think I'd be able to sleep with an annoying dry throat. As I was going down the stairs, I heard the faint sound of the TV, which was weird because I didn't remember it being on when I came in a while ago. I shrugged it off and was about to head to the coffee table to reach for the remote when my eyes caught a barely dressed Rhett sitting on the single sofa and lazily staring at me with his bored eyes. I almost jumped from my spot but I was able to compose myself and mutter a 'sorry' before trying to head back to the kitchen. As I was passing him, he held my wrist gently but firmly which ignited a warm feeling that spread throughout my body. I was held in my place but I refused to look at him. "W-Why?" I asked. "Wyatt..." he whispered. His voice was so gentle, so desperate, that the mere mention of my name was enough to start a pool of tears to build behind my eyes. I felt weak in the knees and I wanted to respond but my mouth didn't seem to be too keen to obey me. "I'm sorry." he said. I could see him staring straight into me from the side of my eyes but I really couldn't bear to look at him back. The lump in my throat got bigger by the second. "Uhh, it's okay. Sorry, Rhett, I thought no one was here. I'm going to the kitchen now, I'm really thirsty." I said as I tried to lightly shake his grip off but he didn't budge. I looked at him when I noticed that he wouldn't give in. He held my eyes for a few seconds and I felt a warm tear fall across my cheek which I immediately wiped off with my free hand. "Please Rhett.. let go... I'm thirsty." I pleaded. His eyes softened and he let go of my hand. Just as quickly, I bolted to the kitchen, desperately trying to ignore the heavy feeling in my chest. I quickly poured myself a glass of water and drank it as fast as I could. I practically ran up the stairs, locking the door behind me and trying to calm myself down by taking deep and steady breaths. I was able to hold back the tears because I was honestly so tired of crying every time I felt overwhelmed with emotions. I closed my eyes shut and tucked myself under the sheets, forcing myself to sleep but everything was for naught. I was now wide awake thinking of Rhett and nothing but Rhett, as what I've been doing for the past week. I wanted to know so badly what he was thinking, how he was doing with our little situation.Is he having a hard time? Does he feel anything other than disgust when he thinks about me, or does he even think about me at all? It's funny how everything has changed with just a phone call. I guess that's all he needed to snap out of this sick and unimaginable thing that we were doing, and I hate myself for wishing that Ma didn't call even if I knew deep inside that he was bound to realize how crazy we were sooner than later. Time went by fast and before I realized it, the weekend was over and we were driving back to the university in complete silence as I tried to focus my attention to the regular interval of night light posts running past us in the distance. I stuffed my airpods in my ears to drown out the awkwardness and the mellow sound of jazz music sent me to a peaceful nap. I woke up a few moments later as I realized that we were at a small parking lot in front of a brightly lit diner. I looked over to Rhett who was playing a game on his phone, which he closed as soon as he realized I was awake. "Hey, let's eat first, you haven't eaten anything all day." he said. I swallowed a lump in my throat. "It's okay, Rhett, I'm not really that hungry." I replied. "Wyatt, come on." he shifted, as if he was trying to lean closer. I surrendered and gave him a nod as I opened the door and got out. I dreaded yet another awkward situation at the diner as we were walking towards it. I honestly didn't have the appetite but I had to get myself something so Rhett would get off my back. I ate my burger swiftly and took to my phone seeing as Rhett wanted to take his time with his food. I noticed that he was looking for an opening to start a conversation but I deliberately wanted to let him know that I wasn't in the mood. I'm an asshole, I know. As we went back to the car, we sat in silence for quite a while before I realized that Rhett wasn't planning to start the engine soon. I looked in his direction, which I immediately regretted when our eyes met. My heart skipped a beat. "Wyatt. I'm sorry..." he said. His eyes softened. "W-What for? Come on, it's getting late. We should probably get going." I said, trying to dismiss the topic. "It's all my fault. I shouldn't have- I shouldn't..." he struggled with words as he leaned his head back against the headrest while taking deep sighs. "It's alright, really, let's just forget about i--" "I don't want to forget about it, Wyatt!" he said. His eyes held mine for a few seconds, and my intense emotions compelled me to look away and face the window. A stray tear fell to my cheek and I wiped it off as fast as it appeared. "I can't forget about it. I don't-- I don't know what to fucking do, what do you want me to do?" he asked desperately. "You can't just carry on with your life pretending that I don't exist. That's not what I want." he said. "Well, what about what I want? Do you think I want this? Do you think it's easy for me to move--" I sighed. "Please Rhett, let's just go." Everything was quiet for a while with those last words lingering in the air. I could hear him shifting in his seat and when I turned to him, his face was already dangerously close to mine. He shifted his gaze to my lips which made me reflexively bite it. He held my cheek with his warm hand as he slowly leaned in and our lips connected. I closed my eyes as I let him press his soft lips against mine. He trapped my bottom lip and glided his lips against it. I hated myself for letting him do this. I hated myself for not fighting, so I pushed him hard, forcing him to pull away. I caught my breath and wiped the tears off my face. "You can't just do that, Rhett! You can't just kiss me whenever you feel like it after shutting me out without any regard to what I'd feel! You're making this so hard because you're so unfair. I hate you so much!" I yelled. At this point, my tears unrelentlessly streamed down my face as I started sobbing from its intensity. My hands were kept busy wiping it off because I didn't want to sit with the fact that I was showing weakness in front of Rhett like this. The atmosphere was filled with the sound of my sharp gasps from crying until Rhett finally started the engine and started driving off into the road. Not a word was said during the drive as we reached the parking lot behind the dormitory. I walked ahead into the entrance when I saw Johann just outside, waiting. He saw me and approached me with a smile. "Hey... how are you? I missed you." he said. "Good. I had fun back at home. What brings you here, big guy?" I asked. He smiled slyly and his dimples prominently showed. "I haven't seen you in two days, and I don't think I can wait one more..." he said. His line made me smile and I playfully hit him in the chest. He leaned in and planted a longing kiss on my lips, looking satisfied when he pulled away. He looked behind me and lingered, which made me look in the direction of Rhett, staring right at us with a stoic expression. He walked past us with his stuff and headed straight into the elevator without giving the both of us so much as another glance.