Date: Sun, 18 Jan 2009 15:36:22 -0800 (PST) From: Joe Parker Subject: I think I'm in trouble Part 1 Chapter 14 I THINK I'M IN TROUBLE Part I Chapter Fourteen At some stage in his or her life every person will experience a burning passion, a morbid fixation, or terrible itch. It could be set off by just about anything or anyone. What sings sweetly to one person may be horrible and off key to the next. It's a supremely all consuming obsession and when it is your turn it will try to convince you that there is no defence. No way of controlling the incredible urge to abandon all rational thought and just give in to your desire to simply HAVE... It is a weakness of the soul, a condition of the heart that calls us to operate beyond the bounds of reason, common sense or even fairness. It makes people seek after things which are not their own, causing otherwise productive and ordinary individuals to become extreme, calculating and dangerous plotters. They suddenly find that nothing is beyond doing if it gets them what they want. Any kind of action no matter how despicable is permissible if to their twisted minds the ends justifies the means. They become quite prepared to risk everything they have worked so hard for even if their prize is only temporary, even if they only get to touch it, hold it.., have it just the once. They will happily forgo all their responsiblities and even abuse any privileged position they may hold if it will assist them in achieving their aims. It is as much a disease of the successful as it is of the wretched. Ironic then that it has such a short name, but nevertheless one should be careful in how one speaks this 'name'. For it is a thing of great and terrible power, the people of our day, our age use this word to describe a state of high sexual arousal, But there is a far more ancient meaning for this word. 'To have what is not yours'.., to covet.., To - l u s t ***************************************************** (Felix) Okay.., so I don't handle embarrassment well. What's more is that even when I don't need to be embarrassed I still am. Even when they tell me NOT to feel ashamed I still do. Last night Momma told me that she thinks I'm 'jez for now' gay and it's 'okay'. Can you believe that? She told me that both her and Ryan think that Jake and I are 'experimenting' and that's 'okay'. Yes.., it is 'o k a y' - that is to say, [they] are 'okay' with it. Evidently Ryan told Jake the same thing coz Jake called me afterwards in a right tether. Ryan told Jake that he and Momma have discussed the possibility of us havin engaged in so called 'experimental activities' (lol) and they are quite prepared to let this particular 'river' run it's course. Well Jake (as you can well imagine), made it crystal clear just how long and how far the river was gonna run for. Ryan jez scoffed and basically said 'Whatever' and told Jake that it is all 'Okay' with him and my Mom. Now Jake don't got a single embarrassed bone in his sexy body and he jez told his father somin like 'Cool' and 'Whatever' back. He weren't the one who was mortified when his parent started talkin bout sex stuff and bout how even though he can't get me pregnant we still need to be careful. When Ryan assumed that Jake was the clear 'pitcher' Jake typically responded that I - Felix Drake Jarrow was gonna be doin most of the 'Daddy' stuff. Ryan din't seem too impressed with that hehehe. It's been a long enough weekend as it is and I don't know why they chose to spring this on us on a Sunday night! We gotta go back to school a-morra, this is like sheeese Mom! - don't you want me to get any sleep tonight? I am so embarrassed sitting here at the breakfast table watchin my Mom rushin round treatin me like I'm 2 weeks overdue or somin. Part of her wants to dote on me, congratulating me for reelin in a big fish and the other part has just noticed that my fish has got a cock and balls and not the expected vagina... I sure hope the grandfolks don't know, it don't look like they know... Uncle Gary keeps watchin me with an amused expression, I think he knows - oh well he ain't kicked my butt so that's gotta be good right? Back to Uncle Ryan and Momma.., One thing they both reiterated to us was the need to keep this on the down low. I know why.., I mean what would folks think? Not only are we gay but we are gay kissin cousins, I mean how stereotypical is that!?! Talk bout gettin ourselves some good ole Appalachian lovin! Regardless we both understand this and will try our best to keep this out of the public domain an all. Although Jake did not do us any favors with his antics after basketball the other day... I wonder if those boys have said anythang? I can imagine what Jake's probably planning on sayin/doin to them alls.., sigh. "Baby do yall want some more toast?" Mom hovers nearby like she has all morning. "Momma I can get my own toast, quit blanketin me" I whine. She feels my head for some reason. "I'm NOT sick Momma.., sweet Moses and the Israelites!" "Honey don't talk bout y'alls ancestors like that!" Granmaw just chimed in... "Clara I done told you before, we ain't no damn Jews!" That's Paw Jarrow, politically incorrect to the death. "We are so according to the New Testament we is all part of the new Isreeeael and we is all priests now not jez the Leeeevites!" Granmaw retorts hands on hips. I swish Momma's temperature takin hands away and cover my eyes, then I use them to cover my ears as I squeeze my eyes tightly shut. I can still hear Granpaw hollerin bout Granmaw bein a damn modern liberal 'femernist ziooolinist christian'. And to think they alls is gonna stay with us till the home place is ready? - Arrrrrrrrrrgggghhh get me outta here! Lil Shaun takes this opportunity to spill his oatmeal onto the floor and it's just total bedlam thereafter! I'm kinda glad for his running interference coz Momma has detached herself for to go fix his mess. Uncle Gary quickly rushes out the door with a guilty - not so guilty wave to me and then he's off to work. It's a late start for him today, but he won't get into no trouble now will he? He were at the Big Boss mans house last night weren't he? And that ain't the big boss of the mine either, it's THE Big Kahuna, the Numero Uno, the Hick above all hicks! I follow his lead and make to skidaddle but don't get very far... "Momma Kath Felicks is runnin away out the doors!" Abby points at me, I roll my eyes and give her my fakest smile. "I'll thank you lil Miss to mind y'alls own beeswax and I weren't runnin out the door" "Yes you was" that was all four of them sans Lil Shaun who is preoccupied with tryin to get out of his highchair. Mom looks stormy, "What's so important that you can't spend jez a lil extra mornin time with y'alls everlovin family huh - don't you love us?" Oh darn not the 'Don't you love us/You don't love us' thang again... I stay away from that one and change the subject. "Look I gotta clean my teeth alright? And I got this thang called schoool that I gotta go to, you know - it's where folks go to get an educaaaation" They look on blankly, Lil Shaun squeals and calls out - "Go Gooool!" he's the cutest kid ever hehe. Granpaw ain't no fan of school.., "Granny Clara an I ain't never went past ellermentree school and we done jez fine ain't we love?" Nope Grandpaw Jarrow ain't helpin any. Jake takes this opportunity to enter stage left... Momma wrings her hands, torn between the desire to mother and warn him bout doin the hoochie coochie and the urge to keeel him for gettin into her babies levi's... He sees her look and chooses to ignore it. He saunters over and kisses his Grandfolks good morning before ruffling an excited Lil Shauns' hair, he's got oatmeal all over his face so no kiss from Uncle Jakey this mornin awwwww - he then changes his mind at the devastated look on Shauns face and kisses him anyway. He's just made Lil Shauns mornin and I'm sure Lenore will make the lil sweethearts afternoon. Jake picks up Abby and cuddles and kisses her, listening to her taddle tales bout me bein 'bad at todays breakfast' - he looks at me disapprovingly. Lord forbid that I might actually be innocent! Then he scoops Momma up in his arms twirls her around and gives her a big wet one on her cheek. It's hard to keep a from laughin but the expression on her face is to die for. Don't worry Mom, he does it to me too and with WAY more conviction. Momma sways a lil drunkenly before brightly sayin, "Oh hello darlin! - I'm so glad y'alls is here.., I have a whole bag of coconut cookies for y'alls to share with Felix today" (Jake will eat twelve and give me two) She glares at me.., "Felix, FELIX! - Jake is here darlin, what are y'alls standin round wastin time for? Get on with y'alls!" Oh brother! - it's gonna be jez one of those days! *** We are sittin in Mr Sixsmith's class again listening to him drone on as usual. Actually if I listen carefully I think I can hear roar of the ocean in his drone. I slowly twist my head around, half turning in my chair to check on my baby. Jake is sitting behind me staring at me with a dreamy expression on his face his chin resting in his palm. He is soooo beautiful. "Pssst" it's Clarke, "What's the answer to number 12?" Mr Sixsmiths' monotone increases in volume all of a sudden. "The. answer. to. number. twelve. is. sin.cos.tan. Mr. Grierson." We're all nonplussed that he answered the question for us but we'll take it. Clarke shrugs and writes it down along with half the class including me. Jessica gives a disgusted snort and I can hear Marks voice appealing to her hopefully.., "Hey Jessica I never had to write the answer down!" Ahhhh young love... I shake my head chuckling. "Mr Sixsmith you RAWK!" Clarke is such a dufus, he's got such pretty blue eyes though - baby blues for a big baby. "I. would. rather. have. you. compromise. me. the. teacher. than. your. fellow. students. Mr. Grierson." intones the robotic voice. "Cool so howsabout settin a guy up with the answers to the final exam next semester then?" Clarke loves to raise stakes, you jez wait till he can go in casino's an all. A new voice brings a sudden halt to all proceedings... "And howsabout I expel you for attempting to procure exam notes from a teacher?" It's Dr. Lewis, the principal.., I hate how she can ghost into the class like that! It's unnatural and freaky! She sits her lardy ass on my desk and continues. "I have heard disturbing things about the behavior of this so called 'Senior' class especially in advanced mathematics" She looks round the room accusingly and tosses her frosted blonde hair. Rumor has it that she has botox injections in Charleston every month. I ain't been here long enough to be sure but it is true what Jake says bout Dr. Lewis face... She has a continuously surprised/grimace type expression on her mug and she cannot smile proper. Hehe she looks like a slightly melted mannequin. "As you were Mr Sixsmith"... She takes to roamin round the classroom the rest of the period lookin at our workbooks and cluckin and peckin her way through the class. Clarke (who loves to gossip and I love to hear it haha), well Clarke says that Dr. Lewis has been pressuring all the older teachers to retire and Mr Sixsmith is like the oldest of them all. Clarke's daddy is the head of the PTA so I guess he knows. Clarke says that Mr Sixsmith's been teachin here for 40 years and apparently Dr. Lewis told so and so that he's been here 40 years too long... I guess she's jez lookin for reasons. I try not to glance back at my baby but I can't help it. I do a quick backwards glance and as always he's gazing straight into my eyes, he winks. "Ewww I think I'm gonna be sick" I hear Mark Fisher murmur off to the side of me. "You said something about feeling sick Mr Fisher?" Ms. Lewis enquires. "Uhh naw I mean I just said like.., "Wow, I think I'm gonna pick this up real quick!" Mark lamely waves his text book in the air a little. "I'm sure you will Mr Fisher, I'm sure you will, and I really hope you do if it will save you from selling furniture for a living like your father right? -- no offense intended of course young man" Mark looks straight into her eyes, he doesn't blush, just a cold, dead, long, hard blue stare. Principal Lewis stares straight back her antagonism evident. "My daddy just opened his 14th store across the bluegrass states last weekend in Lexington Kentucky Mam," He raises his perfect blonde eyebrow a little, "And just last week here in Forkridge, I believe he gave your folks a good discount trade-in deal.., You know I think it was that couch you probably wet and pooped yourself on as a little baby, no offense intended of course Mam..." Eeeeeek it's gettin hot in here! Jake with his amazing knack for worst timing and lack of knowing when to keep his big mouth shut weighs on in fearlessly... "A hahaha that's AWESOME bro!" He slaps his hand down on his desk with glee. It's Mr Sixsmith who defuses the whole debacle... "Madam, gentlemen. we. have. 10. minutes. left. and. I. need. to. complete. this. lesson. and. give. out. homework. assignments. if. you. don't. mind" You could have cut the tension with a knife! Ms. Lewis abruptly stands up, gives Mark, Jake and Mr Sixsmith a withering look and swiftly exits the room but not before firing off one last salvo. "You need to be very careful Mr Maxson, the power of your family is no guarantee about anything" Jake - typical Jake, yawns in her face it was a real one too lol. But she has already turned and slammed the door, her high heels click-clackin murderously away down the hall. Oh one other thang bout that class that remains with me was the look on Jessica's face when Mark stood up to our 'Dear Leader' as Clarke loves to call her... It was a look of approval.., like WOW! *** Sitting with Jake at lunch is like bein on a merry-go-round. There's all these folks around us, poppin in, poppin out. High fivin and wheedlin for favors, seeking out the Ruler of the school bout this and that. Jake is such a study in contrasts. At times it seems he really gets off on this kind of stuff and then at other times he is obviously fed up with it all. Some days he makes it clear that nobody may approach the 'royal table'... other days it's open sesame. I am still learning the signals of when he is open for business or closed until further notice. Clarke and Junior seem to know though and I am jealous :( Sitting at this table with Jake, Clarke and Junior and Elroy and Johnny from the basketball team is a lot of fun, it's a guys table, the gals have the table next door to our left and convo tends to segue in and out between tables. One more table over is where most of the football team sit including Mark and Harry who are also on the basketball team. What's interesting is who sits at the table directly to our right... It's full of geeks, shrimps and misfits... And they are all Jake's friends. If he hears that someone has been messin or bullying other kids coz they might be weaker or smaller or poor or whatever, he befriends them and invites them to sit by him at lunch. Junior told me that Jake has taught him and Clarke the hard way what happens to bullies... I believe it considering I have seen this first hand. Elroy is the most popular Junior and he is next batter up after Jake leaves. Jake has been 'grooming' Elroy for the 'presidency' next year. Elroys' last name is Haydon but everybody knows he's a Garfield on his Momma's side and in this school and in this town, that's like royalty. I still don't know how the Garfield's figure in the great scheme of thangs but Jake says they own somin like 2% of C&E Maxsonite. It don't sound like much till you add up jez how mighty that company is. His great great great grandaddy or whatever he is built a shack here and made it the first high school, and so in some ways he has more claim here than even Jake. I never knew this but Elroy lives up top in a little kind of employees community a quarter of a mile from the mansion. Jake says that he often does homework together with Elroy and they hang out a lot together. I thought it was weird how I've never really seen him round much. That was until I learned that he works on the household staff for college money. Miss Carol it seems refuses to drown her kinfolk in idle time and easy money, wise woman that lady. Jake has gone out of his way to introduce me to all of his friends. There's the Starlight Mountain Dance comin up soon and Beth, Junior's girl has been tryin to set me up with this gal called Betsy-Lee Meredith. I'm tryin everythang not to get wrangled but Jake seems rather amused by it and has been unhelpful when I look at him imploringly - begging for help. It's alright for him, he's goin stag and that's real convenient and expected since he just quit with Jessica. Ahhh it's such a complicated life ain't it! See what I mean by merry-go-round? Hangin out with Jake and his friends is like bein in the circus. I've been makin friends on my own too and it's been great! Jake is very jealous of how much time I spend away from him but he does not act too silly bout it. I have joined the music appreciation society aka the school band that ain't the marching band. It's cool, we got drum sets and guitars, bass guitars and keyboards. and all the kids in the group are typical muso's. Laid back, alternative and in tune with the rhythm of life.., well mostly in tune. As always I get enquiries bout Aunt Shonta which for them is like awesome coz Jake has never had anything to share bout his Momma nor has he wanted to learn anythang bout her in the past. Maybe he will change in this regard as time goes by? I however am happy to share my own knowledge of my illustrious Aunt and one of the gals here called Marie Smith has a real nice voice and she knows all of Aunt Shonta's songs. It's a pity we ain't allowed to sing any of my Aunts songs at school concerts an all. The teacher even said so. Such is the reach of a grieving Ryan Maxson. Maybe that will change too.., as time goes by? The bell rings signalling the end of our lunch period. "I'll see you in study hall last period Feeeely" Says my honey who for some reason has taken to Lenore's nickname for me. He still don't like HER sayin it though or anybody else. "Okay Jakey, see ya then" I nod and bounce off to class. You know, this was the same timetable I had that first day we met... study hall last period. I stop to consider that but unfortunately Jake who has been following behind me and ogling my ass (I just know he has) walks straight into me. "Ooops - ooooh soooory dude -- sorry man!" We say to one another... "Yeah watch where your'e goin Jarrow" "I weren't goin nowhere Maxson, I had stopped" "Uh huh well next time I might just have to keep goin on over the top of you now won't I" "But Sir, I bottomed last time!" (I really don't know where that came from) Jake's eyes have glazed over and he assumes the universal 'I'm gettin a woody' position... you know that half crouch/half lean kinda thang? "Feeeeelix did you have to go there!?!" He chokes out in a ragged sotto voce exhalation. "Ooops, honestly I wasn't thinking," I cringe... He gives me a deadpan look still crouched over... "Well uh anyway Jake, I uh, I'll see you later and you know I didn't mean to say all that bout beeeeeumm nevermind..." He's startin to rile up hehehe.... I better scoot. I quickly start backing away..., "Aha! - well my work is done here! Seeya wouldn't wanna be ya!" "Hehehe" I cackle and run off to American History. *** (Georgia Lewis) She seethes to herself.., That arrogant little ingrate Mark Fisher will pay for his little performance today, and so will Jake - of course he will. Young men like these think they are beyond indictment, below the radar and above the law. Well not anymore. Georgia swore that she would put an end to such injustices when she began her tenure here at her old school. No longer would these smart, rich and beautiful young boys humiliate and degrade the hard working more deserving elements of the school. Look at Jake Maxson, pontificating over the school as if he was the principal and not her! Look at him stringing along the unpopular ones and no-hopers, deceiving them into believing he actually cares about them. Him and Mark Fisher have more loyalty from her staff than she does. Well it won't do, those corrupt veteran staff members will be down the road soon, just as soon as she can figure a way to end the old Garfield womans unnatural influence and 'patronage' over the school. Why won't the old bat just hurry up and die? If only she could get her on side, or even better - get rid of her altogether. Unfortunately she is beyond reach up at Maxson Eyrie. Besides the substantial school funding her family trust provides is too vital to lose. No not yet, she won't quite go there yet, but one day she will, yes indeed she will one day soon... Ms. Lewis has thought long and hard about this and now it's time. She sees no other way of achieving her objective. Ms. Lewis instructs her young secretary, Miss Robbins to place a call to New York City. A call that will touch base with an old college friend of hers, and ultimately her lifetime dream will begin to come true. She went to college with Aimee Khol. They were freshman roomates and have remained steadfast friends, sisters even all the way through. Aimee headed into photo-journalism and Georgia studied education. They have been relatively out of touch the past two years but their bond is still as strong as ever. It was amazing how much the two girls had in common when they first started talking, first started getting to know about one another and each others lives. Both of them had grown up out of the spotlight, raised by remote disinterested parents, ignored at school, deprived of even a close or best or even casual good friend.., they grew up distant, watchful, suspicious and resentful of everything around them. Unlike other growing girls they never really blossomed into anything other than what they were before and in their souls they railed against the neglect of not only other human beings but even nature itself. And thus they both swore to themselves that some day, somehow they would be the stars of the parade, they would have the power to decide the fate of others and they would be the epitome of beautiful, successful and wanted. They would get the guy. And so Aimee and Georgia made a pact, a solemn promise that they would do everything in their power to transform themselves into the image of perfect, desirable women. It would have worked, they would have attracted the attention of strong hearted, husky young men if not for one glaring problem. They were sour. They resented the very men who could have helped redefine their lives. Their contrary attitudes and overly competitive natures generally repelled decent men, and they could not see how any of this was in any way their responsibility. What makes a person sour? - The desire to have justice at any cost, to always be right? - to be vindicated. Therefore with every pound lost, every hair dyed, waxed and removed, with every pilates twist and each new outfit they sewed the seeds of their own destruction. It could be no other way. The question was, who else would be along for the ride when Georgia and Aimee crashed and burned? West Virginia State was an opportunity for both of them to reinvent themselves and see what the world had to offer. But they never did seize and embrace the chance that was offered them. They were too suspicious, too disbelieving. *** In Georgia's case she seeks to resolve her emotional traumas by inflicting them upon other people. Why should she suffer alone? After all, misery loves company.., the need for vengeance is a fully justified act. It is almost a holy act. The men they desired so greatly were also the ones they hated and blamed with a passion. For Aimee it was any man and every man. But for Georgia there could be only one. Ryan Maxson, the love of her life.., and the man she loved and hated with a passion. It had always been him, there could be no other. She tried everything she could to conquer her acute shyness and put herself out there before him. Only twice in her younger years had he ever spoken to her. Once to tell his friend John to quit teasing her about her frumpy clothes. And the second time to ask if she needed a ride home one day when she missed the bus. But she never succeeded in crossing that bridge. It was his fault of course, he was too beautiful, far too rich, too clever, too popular, too nice.., too perfect. It was ironic really, they were both untouchable - both him and her, just in different ways. At times he gave her what she swore to be curious glances, the kind of glances boys give when they are looking at potential and not current reality. But she decided it was only him mocking her, teasing her, showing her what she could never have. She faithfully followed his life, his shock marriage, his surprising change in career and his retreat into seclusion as the years passed by. And as Ryan spent another year alone, she rejoiced - preparing herself for the time when she would return home triumphant, ready to claim him finally and utterly. Seeing him again for the first time in many years sent thrills through her. Yes he still had it, that incredible magnetic power to make her swoon - and every other red blooded female within a bulls roar. If possible he was even more stunning than before. The softer vulnerabilities of adolescence replaced by the sharp confident almost predatory features of prime, optimum manhood. She both loved and hated him for it. Old Carole Garfield had hosted a dinner at the school in her honor as new principal of Forkridges only high school. He remembered her! -- he came straight over to her and hugged her, he even kissed her as he congratulated her on her successful posting as Garfield Highs new principal. She actually pinched herself to make sure she wasn't dreaming. He stayed close to her most of the night sweet talking her, gazing suggestively into her eyes, giving her sultry looks. She rejoiced and began to return his gestures as the wine and the lust began to talk. She ran her foot up his muscular thigh but her joy was quickly reduced to shock and rejection when he became bewildered and smartly asked her to desist. WHAT?!?! - he dares to string her along and then make a fool of her like this? Since that night she has waited and waited for his apology but nothing has been forthcoming. She has been quite ready to forgive him but he has arrogantly abstained from contacting her. His last chance came when his impudent son was caught fighting just the other morning. But what does he do instead? He makes a play for the hillbilly boys mother, right in front of her! For a cheap unsophisticated little bitch who claims to be a relative of Shonta Jarrow-Maxson. Can't he see she's only after his money? "Well Ryan my love, your numbers up and it's time to put you, your whore girlfriend, your son and his faggot catamite boyfriend to the sword" Ohhh yes she saw Jake Maxson carry that new boy Felix to his truck last Friday. She saw them kiss! Can't the little faggot see that Jake is not gay. He is only toying with him? That's what Maxsons' do, they are your friend for a little while. But they soon lose interest and throw you away. Georgia considers her blood red nails as she awaits that vital call from her dear, dear old friend Aimee. The phone rings and she picks up the receiver. "Aimee daaaaahling!, yes, yes everythings just delicious!.., Yes in fact lets just cut to the chase.., About that proposal you pitched to me last year... Yes, oh yes Aimee I have changed my mind.., I'll tell you when you get here, next Tuesday - GREAT! - I will arrange everything, don't you worry. Excellent, lets do it! -- Okay bye, goodbye now" Georgia Lewis hangs up the phone and shivers. What is about to happen will destroy Ryan, but she truly believes that from the ashes he will rise again and together they can begin anew. A new life, just her and him.., no Jake, no hillbilly bitches, nobody else. Her eyes narrow to slits as she ruminates over her future plans. *** (Jake) I never told her, but I thought I was in love with Jess, now I'm glad I never said so now because what I feel in my heart for Felix is the real mccoy. I'm sorry for what I did to Jess but it's a godsend that I never said I loved her, bittersweet as that is. The one I love is watchin me here at wrestling practice right now. His marvellous eyes in a dreamlike daze as he looks on. It's hard to find good heavyweight competition to train against. To be honest I'm kinda worried that Big Hec Johnstone's attempt to lose weight is gonna work. He weighs just on 185 lbs now and if he goes down another 2-3 lbs I will be the only heavyweight here. Don't listen to what the others tell you, I know my own weight and I am actually heavier than I let on - especially to Dad. Dad is concerned about my growing and we have been to see several specialists to ease his mind. They all agree that I'm just a big ole Mountain Man in the making, nothing to be concerned about. I tease him - saying he's just jealous coz I'm a bigger, badder, better, smarter, sexier, and more lovable version of him. He scoffs and flexes his own impressive body saying 'In yer dreams junior' Okay he's pretty hot I got to admit, WAY hotter than any of the other dad's even those who are like 10-15 years younger. But he's still a dork. A dork I happen to love with every bone in my overgrown body. So back to talking about ME - yes my favorite subject, although Felix is fast catching up. We were discussing my weight -- You know what they say - muscle weighs more than fat... plus we have big, thick, heavy bones in our family. I weigh about 245 lbs at the moment, last season I was 237 lbs but this year my body fat is at 7%. It was 9% last year. If I eat better I could probably hit the magical 5% but nah I'm happy where I'm at. I travel over to State just outside of Charleston every month to practice with some of the big guys they got over there. Lets just put it this way.., they don't enjoy my visits haha... As part of my athletic program I get to spend a whole 90 minute period at school each day working my body and I love it. Physical exertion is my favorite outlet for stress and tension, I think better about things when I work out too. At the moment Coach Williams has me on a 30 minute split of running, weights and callisthenics (yes callisthenics and I like it too). Ms. Lewis tried to get rid of my 90 minute athletic period but Mrs Jordan the Guidance Counsellor recommended I continue on with it since it appears to calm me down. I really like Mrs Jordan eh - and I have learned quite a lot from my weekly sessions with her so far. We have been talking about what makes people tick, what are the building blocks of successful relationships and right living? I have learned four amazing things from her. No matter where we are at in our lives, we all either consciously or sub-consciously need to know 4 things... 1) - Who's the Boss? 2) - What are the rules? 3) - What's in it for us? 4) - What are the consequences of non compliance? I was so ignited by this concept that I can't wait for our next session! I start packing up, Felix is coming home with me tonight - YAY! - it will be his first night at my house! The rents don't seem to mind one bit. I called Dad to ask during lunch and he said he would allow it if Momma Felix was okay with it. Well before Felix could call his Mom she pre-empted him and sent him a text saying it's okay. Well I hope they never change! I wonder if Felix will run up the hill with me today? I won't take a shower now, I wanna run the hill today. Not many people know this but on the way home I like to get security to drive my truck up the hill so I can run up. If I didn't do this I would become too lazy to run and I hate running as a rule. There's a small depot/office at the bottom that is usually unattended and I get changed out of my school clothes and into my running gear in there. It has a small apartment in the back and lately Clarke has been using it to bed Sue and God knows who else... I suspect he's getting his freak on with Lenore but cannot prove it. Clarke's gonna have a million paternity suits on his hands before he hits thirty. I do a 200 set of crunches, press ups and chin pulls with (usually with Elroy) each night at the Eyrie gym before showering and then off to bed. But with Felix in my life I have to be extra disciplined or I will just throw it all away and turn into jelly. Then he might leave me coz I look like a blimp :( I look over at him from the mat and smile, he gives me an adorably shy smile, blushes and looks away. I sigh as I gather my stuff together - how is it that I can be so in love like this? We bump shoulders as we walk out of the gym together. I must admit I have been showing off for him, throwing Big Hec around till he up and quit on me for the day. Strutting around the ring and being generally annoying until Coach Williams told me to get a grip or get lost. I won't be going after any scholarships, I don't need them but if I was to do so I would chase a wrestling sponsorship to a strong wrestling college. Maybe Michigan or Oklahoma State. But there's a new situation for me now, and all my plans have changed. It all depends on my Felix. That's how much I love him. Where he goes, I wanna be and the rest of my plans be damned. What use going off to college when I'm just gonna pine for my baby? I asked him the other night about college and he said he thought he was going down the mines - like hell he is! His family has a great deal of money coming their way soon and he needs to go to college. I told him that no matter what he decides to do I plan on being nearby. He looked disturbed and expressed that he cannot allow anything to get in the way of my college plans, especially if it's himself. I said "Good, coz not having you with me would be tantamount to disaster"... he smiled and kissed me, although it was kind of bittersweet... I am not as ambitious as some might think, I could quite happily just mope around home forever. I don't wanna leave my dad, I don't wanna leave my grandparents and Miss Carol. I guess I have a milder version of what Dad suffers from - whatever it is that keeps him from going out much. But then again he has been heading down into town every day for to see Momma Felix. He goes to the shops with her, sits in the diner while she works. He doesn't want her to work at all but they will have to figure that out themselves. If she decides to look after his sorry ass and marry him (or whatever) - he will want her up top. Uncle Bryce (Dad's oldest brother) has told Grandpa that he will not be returning to the Estate when he inherits his rightful place as head of the family at Grandpa's death. He prefers to conduct the presidency of the company completely from HQ in Pittsburgh. Uncle Michael wishes to stay in New York City, he's much closer to Grandmothers side of the family who are based in NYC and D.C. My uncles are great guys and I really get on well with my cousins who though they are older than me, have always shown me a lot of affection. Uncle Michaels wife Imogen is this kinda wacky artiste, who likes to get naked and cover herself in colored clay. Her exhibits always include her body somehow, for as long as she can handle the hardening, caking result... I have never been allowed to go to any of her exhibitions (and do not wish to lol). Grandmother does not approve lol - funnily enough, Miss Carol loves Aunt Imogen haha and her and Uncle Mike's oldest son's name is none other than 'Clay'. If she wasn't a Whitney I don't think the olds would have allowed them to marry. Uncle Bryce divorced from his wife Aunt Jean when I was 9. Yet they still live together and they seem to get on better than they ever did from what I hear. It's interesting that before the divorce they slept in separate bedrooms but since the divorce they sleep together... go figure. Regardless she's a sweetheart even if she's a little bit Martha Stewart... The Maxson men sure know how to pick them and my Daddy sure made himself an outrageous selection in my Mom. I listened to some of her music before falling asleep last night but I can't remember it. What I do remember is the awesome sleep I ended up having! Would she have supported what me and Felix have? Who knows... So anyway sorry for jumping all over the place but hey I'm a teenager - get used to it, remember when you were like this? I'm sure Grandmother thinks I'm on drugs lol. SO ANYWAY.., control of the Estate will fall to my Daddy on Grandpa's death and so will the massive trusts and endowments which sustain Maxson Eyrie. As the spiritual home of the dynasty no Maxson can ever be barred from the Eyrie, they can visit at any time and most family members maintain apartments or 'quarters' as we call them here anyway. Momma Felix could well be the next Mistress of the Eyrie like WOW! - who woulda thunk it? And after that, maybe hopefully -- Felix and I -- like WOAH!?! I'm glad Daddy told me to explore what I have with Felix. I'm not so happy about his mistaken notion that we are just messin around. He retorted when I asked him if he was 'Just messin around with Momma Felix' haha I really know what buttons to push. He actually opened up a little and told me he is dead serious about Momma Felix and he worries that she thinks he is just looking for another version of my mother. It's obviously been on his mind because tears sprang to his eyes and my heart went out to him. We cuddled together on the couch. Two Maxson men chasing after elusive Jarrow dreams, one for the first time.., one yet again. *** (Miss Carol) Her eyes avidly read over the verses just as if she had never seen them before. Of course she has read through this book many thousands of times, but tonight the words of these verses call out to her with dire warning.., 1: Now the serpent was more subtle than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said unto the woman, "Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?" *** 2: And the woman said unto the serpent, "We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden: *** 3: But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die." 4: And the serpent said unto the woman, "Ye shall surely [NOT] die": *** (Genesis 3:1-4) Thus with one word the whole course of history was changed... A feeling of dread rushes through her aged body and she peers into the night as the wind moans in the mountains and howls through the valleys. She fights back the urge to join the moan and wail herself. Her eyes fill with tears and fear. "Guide me o Thou Great Redeemer! I fear Lord I am afraid! One devil right here but two devils soon! I cannot see but Lord I sure do detect. Snakes crawlin round our garden and with one word they be changin de whole stream of our lives won't they Lord. By de end of this somebody gonna be dead and I fear greatly for my beloved ones. I must gather my chicks while I still may! That Lord will I do... She rocks away the hours reading, thinking, there will be no sleep for Miss Carol tonight. No peace. ***************************************************** (Jessica) Did you know that the ancient chinese characters for lust or temptation depict a beautiful woman deciding which fruit to choose from between two trees? ***************************************************** -- Please join me again for the next chapter~ -- Contact the author -- joejoeparkertex@yahoo.com -- Visit my web group -- http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Amytherald/