Date: Tue, 27 Feb 2007 05:26:31 +0000 (GMT) From: Caden Gaige Subject: Izzy and Ozzy Chronicles The Izzy and Ozzy Chronicles Book One: Life in the Balance Chapter Three: Light Emotions and Deep Mood Swings I got out of bed around 4:00 a.m. and called a cab to take me to the studio. It arrived within a few minutes and I left home headed for the studio, a place my mother once knew as her second home. Maybe in time I will call the studio my second home a well, but to do that I'll need to have a first home and somewhat successful recording career. Within fifteen minutes we were at the studio. * * * * * Izzy, I'm so sorry about the loss of your mother. She was a good friend of mine for many years. Mister Zantar said as he shook my hand. I produced most of her solo output. You did a great job I love her solo recordings. I sadly said with a smile. And I'll do a great job on your recordings. Mister Zantar, I only have two songs, but I did record and release it to the Internet. I know and it's a great song but we'll rerecord it today with your backup band. He said as I looked on in surprise. Do you have any thoughts about a name for the band? Broken Soul. I choked out. Its rather fitting don't you think. I think it sums up the emotions within "Heaven and Hell". He said with sadness in his voice. We went into the studio, he introduced me to the band and we did five complete takes of "Heaven and Hell" with music and vocal live. They all sounded great but they weren't quiet right for what I felt. Mister Zantar. I said. Can we do it one more time? I wanna try something different. Yeah we can do another take after a short break. Let's all take ten minutes and get some kind of life flowing through our buts, mine is numb. * * * * * Izzy, if were going to work together you gotta call J.T. otherwise I'll start referring to you as Mister Nico. J.T. said. So what changes do you want to make? I'd like the middle of the song to be done in a hard rock style if it's okay with you. On one condition, you have to add at least one more line. I've already got all that complete and ready to go. I said as I handed him the rewrite of "Heaven and Hell". He looked the pages over and began staring at me with a smile before he spoke. Hey guys take a look at this, Izzy rearranged the song and added more lyrics, and I think it'll be batter than what we got so far. As it was passed around everyone agreed I would be a hit of some kind and the break was cut short as the band wanted to lay down the new reworked version of "Heaven and Hell". * * * * * In the middle I need someone on a soaring and scorching lead guitar and the drum beats need to deep and said like a broken heart beating its last beat. I said as I looked at everyone in the band. If everybody's ready let's record this one wet and hope for the best. We all rushed back into the studio for one last recording of "Heaven and Hell". Everything was perfect until the last notes were played and spoken verse said by me I gently began to cry. * * * * * After I stopped crying, the band said that they would take off for the day so I could get a hold of my emotions. Everyone left me alone in to studio while they went outside. So I went into the control room and set everything up and recorded the keyboard section of my final song "Mother Maru (I Miss You)". When I finished I reset everything in the control room and grabbed a guitar to play and laid down the vocal track, not realizing as I was singing that J.T. and the band had came in was listing with amazement. * * * * * I stood in front of the microphone and the music faded and I spoke the last line and again nearly silently wept. I nearly jumped out of my skin about thirty seconds later when reality hit everyone else and they began to clap with tear in their own eyes. I...I'm sorry I shouldn't have touched anything...I'm sorry. I choked out, as I turned crimson with embarrassment. In unison everyone said. There's nothing to be sorry about. I don't think I could have done a better job of producing the song than you just did. J.T. said with grin. Izzy, that was one hell of a great job. Will you guys add to it, to make it better? I asked. NO. They said in unison. We'll walk out before we destroy such a beautiful song as that one. Neal said. It would be a true tragedy if we did anything more to that song than you just did. Roger added. Izzy, it's the best it's going to be...forever. Thank you, but it not complete. I said. One day I'll finish it, and then it will be the best and most fitting tribute to my mother. * * * * * Hey, bro. Kyle said lazily said he shook me awake. Let's go eat breakfast and then head over to Izzy's and talk with him about all of this. Okay, okay I'm awake. I'll be down in a minute. Don't go back to sleep, we gotta fix all this. I know, but it should be me that fixes things. Nobody else created this mess except me. I'll still help you. I'm the one that hurt mom, dad, you and Izzy. I sternly said. It'll be me, and only me that will fix things. I owe it to everyone, Kyle, its gotta be me to do it. Okay, bro. Kyle said. Have it your way. We both got out of my bed and headed across down the hall to the bathroom so we could take care of our morning rituals of taking a leak and showering. * * * * * Boys, breakfast. Dad yelled upstairs at us as we were coming out of our bedrooms. Coming. We both said in unison as we headed for the stairs. * * * * * Here you go. Dad said with half a smile as he handed me a plate full of food. Your mom will be here in a few minutes, she's calmed down and is willing to talk about last night. So will let her talk fist. I just kept eating not really letting anything register in my brain. I was too busy eating a three cheese, bacon, ham and Italian sausage omelet, before starting on the angel biscuits drowning in dad's Cajun sausage gravy. It was a meal he only makes when there was extremely good news or really bad news. Too bad though. I could eat it at least three times a week. Mom quietly walked in as we were finishing eating and sat at the table with us. We all remained silent, so she could start the discussion. Okay, there's no easy way to say this. She said kinda sadly. I'm going to probably be in jail for a while. I've decided to turn myself in after I sit down with Izzy and settle our differences and set some ground rules. Number One he will not masturbate in front of either one of you as long as he visiting with us or in your presence. Not expectable. I said as I stood up and glared at her. He didn't know I was watching and you're going to punish him for something I did. Sit down and listen to your mother. Dad calmly demanded. Mom your not going to punish Izzy for something Ozzy did. Kyle said. I'm your mother and I'll make the rules. She said as she glared at Kyle. It's up your father and me to keep both of you healthy and safe. Both Kyle and me were fuming. Safe, you have the nerve to call abusing you son safe. He has bruises from where you kept him safe. Enough Kyle. Dad demanded. She's your mother and your going to treat her with respect. She is not my mother; I've seen my adoption paperwork. Kyle said in a disgusted tone as he looked at dad. The fact that she kept it from you all these years speaks volumes about her character. You're right, Kyle and I'm very sorry. She said in a somewhat sorrowful tone as she looked at the floor. Not only to you but your father. Dad just sat in shock with his jaw on the kitchen floor and tears welling in his eyes. He's not my son? Dad choked out between tears of sadness as he stared through my brother into an endless void of loss. How long have you known, Kyle? That's not important right now. Mom sternly said with anger building in her voice. Rule number two is that Izzy will speak to your father and me in a civilized manner becoming of a mature adult from now on. Rule number three Izzy will not walk away when being spoken to by either your father or myself. You weren't speaking to him. You were verbally attacking him. Dad said. And he did the right thing by leaving. You will hold your tongue, mister. Mom demanded a she glared at dad. Right now, do you understand me? Excuse me, woman. I will speak in my own house and you will not dictate or impose your unjust rules on any of those three boys or me. I can and will. She heatedly said as she slammed her fist on the table. Or I'll take the boys and leave. Go ahead and try. Bitch. I'm fourteen and the court will ask who I want to stay with and I'll tell them everything. And just what dose that mean, BOY. * * * * * BAM. * * * * * Mom had hit the floor hard. We couldn't get her to come around so we called 911 and waited for the ambulance and followed it to the hospital. * * * * * It was now around noon and we had laid down four more complete tracks and broke for lunch. I decided to stay behind and experiment in the studio while everyone else we out. I grabbed an acoustic guitar and sang three more songs I knew from the radio. * * * * * RING. RING. RING. * * * * * Hello. I said not recognizing the number as it displayed. Izzy, it's me Turner Perry. I made the nessary arrangements for your mother's wake and funeral this morning. Can you pick me up after while and take me to see her? I'll be at the studio in about two hours and we'll go pay respects to your mother after I take you home so you can shower and change in something more appropriate. Are you trying to be my father? No just a good friend. He said. Why? Because. I like it. I choked out as I began to gently cry into the phone. You make me feel like I'm wanted and cared for, like mom used too... Izzy, you are loved and wanted. Neal said from behind me as I jumped out of my skin and dropped my cell phone. He walked over and picked up my phone and spoke with Turner while I cried. Everyone else had returned by this time and had was trying to comfort my but it just wouldn't work I was too far broken by my mothers death and slightly shy of being mentally beaten by losing my best friend and second family. * * * * * Mister Raine, I'm afraid I have some bad news. The doctor said. You might want to step outside with me for a moment. My boys can hear anything you have to tell me about my wife's condition. Dad said with sadness in his voice. As you know we did a full blood panel and a drug test on your wife when she was admitted to the emergency room. The doctor said with concern. Your fear of her use of illegal drugs was confirmed. She has tested positive for marijuana, cocaine and embalming fluid. She been smoking wet! Kyle blurted out. What's she trying to do? Kill herself. Has she ever in the past shown tendencies toward suicide. A little over fifteen years ago she attempted suicide by way of snorting two or three lines of Phencyclidine and swallowing a half a bottle of Quaaludes with a fifth of vodka. She did Angel dust and ludes with booze? Kyle questioned. Dose she hate life that much? What's angel dust and fin whatever? I asked. They're both PCP. Kyle said as he looked at me with fear and terror in his eyes. Mom was into heavy drugs back then and now she was in the process of making new friends so to speak. We'll Baker Act her and keep her for observation for 72 hours. But, there's more she was pregnant. Pregnant! We all three said in unison. She was pregnant. Yes, she was pregnant. I'm sorry the baby did not survive and if it had I would have say that it would have been severely brain damaged because of the levels of drugs in your wife's system. Do you know how far along she was. Dad choked out as the reality of the matter hit him. I need to know, please. She was about three and a half months along. The doctor said. There's no way your wife couldn't have known she was pregnant. How should we handle the situation, doctor? Dad questioned. I have to notify the proper authorities about the drugs and that she was pregnant. They may decide to press charges. But, if she comes home with you, she'll need close supervision for a while. No problem there. I blurted out. We can handle that. We'll find a way. Dad said. I'm sure you will. The doctor said. For now though the best thing you can do is go home and get some rest. I'll have a nurse call you in the morning and update you on your wife. We left shortly afterward and dad just drove around in some sort of a daze. He only stopped to fill the car up get drinks. We drove around town for another hour until dad pulled off the paved road onto a old dirt road that lead to a rickety shack that had seen better days. He pulled over and got out of the car walked inside with Kyle and myself following behind when we got inside dad collapsed on the floor and started crying uncontrollably. All we could do is let him cry himself out. * * * * * I lost another one. Dad muttered and choked. Three...kids...and I lost two of them in the same day. I looked over at Kyle and we both stepped over toward dad. I lost you. Dad said looking at Kyle. I'm sorry...I'm so sorry I'm not you father...I'll understand if you want to leave me. * * * * * SLAP... * * * * * YOU LOOK AT ME. Kyle demanded. I AM YOUR SON. But... Kyle gently lifted dad's chin and looked him deep in the soul. I am your son now and forever. Nothing will ever change that. Not even that fucking bitch of a woman. Don't talk about your... She's not my mother. She is not a good wife and she sure as hell is not a good friend to anyone. What do you mean, Kyle? I'm not sure either of you are ready for this. I know I wasn't then and I'm not. But I still know about some of her past and it gives me nightmares to think about it, actually there more like terrors. Why didn't you tell me before? I could have helped. Dad said. I though you already knew about her past, but I can see now that you know next to nothing about that woman. Did Maru know what you know about your...Pepper? No, as far as I know you knew her better. How much better did I know her? The best way of putting it...better yet do both of you remember the report I had to do on Selma Johnson and all the research I did that went with it. Yeah, we all read everything you had. Dad said. No you didn't. I keep seventy percent of my research out of my story and changed her name. I also took a B on the report for not including he picture. My teacher couldn't even find a picture of her, so he made an exception and the class agreed that the paper earned an A. I sill kept at my research, I was obsessed with this woman. I eventually compiled three DVD-ROM discs worth of this woman's life story from age twelve up until the time she disappeared. The two packages I got in the mail a few months ago were from her real family. One had photos and the other contained medical records. Three days later I received an email from her brother, he asked that I discontinue having contact with her. He also said that unless absolutely necessary never to contact him or his family again. He doesn't want her finding out where he lives for fear of retaliation against hem and his family. I emailed him back and told him that I would honor his request to never contact his family again, but at the same time I would like know more about them because they were my family. I also asked him if he though if would be safe if we both used different email address other then or primary ones and he said it might be safe and that he contact me from a new one he was setting up. I told him that he should use Yahoo UK that way if she ever did see the emails she wouldn't know it was him. He agreed. He emails every so often and wants to meet me in person. I told him that I would meet him for lunch tomorrow after noon at Mr. Butterworth's Pancake House. I don't think he'd mind if we were all there. Kyle finished with a grin. Kyle, what's her real name? I half whispered, half spoke. Her real name is Buffy Willow. At age six she while playing her four-year-old brother he supposedly fell from the second story bedroom window and broke his left arm. Her mother and father believed her story until he fell out of the same window a month later and broke his right arm. This time he told his parents that she pushed him out if the window. She got the spanking of her life and was grounded for month. Only a month? I questioned. She should've gotten longer. A few days after her punishment ended she cornered her brother and exacted her revenge. What did she do to the poor boy? Dad asked. She hit him over the head with big rock leaving him in and out of conscious. She them stripped him and repeatedly solemnized him with a stick. What dose that mean? I asked. That mean's she fucked him in the ass. Dad angrily said. The bitch fucked that poor boy with a stick. By the time his patent found him he had lost so much blood that he was very near death. The doctors told his parents to expect him pass in the night, that's the shape he was left hi by her. The boy wouldn't give in and let go of life, he clung to it like nobody's business. Four hours after his life saving surgery the police found his sister. They kept in the same hospital under heavy sedation until the judge could review her case. The judge severed all parental rights at the request of her family and then he sent to a mental hospital where she stayed for two and a half years. Life moved on and so did her family. They moved to the next town over. Her brother had forgotten her all together, but her would have nightmares about the events for years to come. She on the other hand was adopted and got a wonderful home, everything was fine until the her new family moved a block away from her biological family. She started documenting every move her biological family made when she found out where they lived. She even broke into the house they lived in and left some unpleasant gifts. What did so leave? Dad questioned with much caution in his voice. The first time she left a big pile of human shit in the parent's bad. The second time she left a badly beaten dog in her brother's bed and on the wall smeared in blood was message "You're next pretty boy". Two days later she caught up with her brother on the school playground and savagely tore into the little boy. It took five adults to restrain her until the school nurse could sedate her. She told police the police that the boy was trying to touch her, so she had to defend herself. But ten students told a different story. Once again she sent to a mental facility. The new judge believed heavily in the family unit so it was ordered that the family go into counseling and she would they live with her biological family again. How bad was her brother this time? A fractured leg, four cracked ribs, a shattered wrist and a broken jaw. I stated. For an added bonus he got uncaring therapist who blamed the parents for not allowing her to be part on the decision to have another baby. That's rough, really rough. I said. I'm surprised he has mentally survived all that. He told he that he's attempted suicide a few time because of it. The last time he met and fell in love with wonderful guy. They were together for a year before the bitch found out he was gay and attacked him and his boyfriend. She managed to crack three of his ribs this time and give his boyfriend a concussion and weeks stay in the hospital. Did they break up? Dad asked. Did he try to kill himself again? No, they're still together and have two sons. I think he said one is thirteen and the other one is eleven. Dad, if you come with us to meet that please don't be down on them for being gay. Why would I be down on them for being gay? Dad said matter-of-factly as he questioned my brother. I'm not down on you because you're gay am I? No. Kyle said, but then reality hit him between the eyes a split second later. HOW DO KNOW I'M GAY? I've known for about a month. Dad said in a friendly loving caring tone as reached over and hugged my brother. It doesn't really matter to me, but it dose scare me that if the wrong person finds out they might hurt you. I know that's why I never told you or...she hate gays...if she ever found out, she'd come after me. I'll ever say a word to her and neither will your brother. Dad said glaring at me. Right, Ozzy. It's not any of her business if you're gay. I said. After all she's not your mother. Our conversation continued on for quiet so time longer. We all lost track of time, but it was necessary for the family to find some kind of balance even if harmony was gone in this new reality. * * * * * I just stood there staring at the lifeless body of a woman I barely got to know during my short life here on the earth, she was woman I chose to call mother, even though she gave me the choice of calling her mother or simply by her beautiful name Maru. Although she was not my biological mother she was the woman that gave me the wonderful gift of life. Now I have to find a way of honoring her gift to the fullest. I have to survive the deep abyss of depression and the only way I can see of doing that is to sink myself in music. I know that look very well. A woman thoughtfully whispered as wrapped her arm around my shoulder. You're in deep in thought. Huh, what? I muttered. Deep in thought, I have to be. It's the only way you have to keep from drowning in the abyss of a deep dark depression. The woman said. Just don't get too lost in what ever it is your thinking about, but just in case why don't we go have a sit down over there and talk for a while. I walked over to chair next to the one she sat in and nervously looked as the woman. It's all right Izzy. Turner said. My wife won't bite you yet; she doesn't know you well enough. Come on Izzy, it's be all right. She said as she extended her hand for me to shake. My name is Falcon. I shook her hand and then sat down beside her. We talked for about a half hour before we left. They dropped me off at home. As I unlocked the house I looked around and the place looked so deserted and depressing. It needed to be lived in and that was something I would not be able to do as long as Pepper was down on me for jacking off in front Ozzy. I just gotta figure out how he seen me. I can't ask him, that'd mean going over there and having to deal with his mother. I just can't have that. I headed upstairs and quickly showered, then jumped into bed. I fell asleep faster than I had in the past few days. If you enjoyed the eChapter you just read of The Izzy and Ozzy Chronicles Book One let me know by emailing me at cadengaige73@yahoo.co.uk or I may end this story line with the next published chapter. Please do not repost this eChapter without my written permission. (c) Febuary 2007 Caden Gaige.