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Since we had jerked each other off last month, I'd been thinking about him a lot. Even before then. Lately when I jerked off, I thought about what we had done, and about doing other things with him, too. I thought about other guys, too, but I thought about him the most.
Aaron wasn't some studly guy or something. Neither of us were popular or handsome. Most of the guys at school called him a dork and other names. They called me the same names. He was a little skinny, and he had freckles and red hair. He was pale, with light eyebrows that hardly showed at all. And his eyelashes kind of glowed, they were so light and orange. And he had the neatest blue eyes, almost gray. And big, lush, red lips.
It was late summer, and we didn't have air conditioning, so we were in the downstairs den watching the big projection television in our jeans and no shirts. His chest was pale and hairless, like all of him, and his nipples were so pink, they were like candy or something. I'd paid a lot of attention to his butt for a long time. It was so round and juicy in almost all his clothes. And he had real nice, strong, smooth legs, with no hair either.
He rode his bike to my house a lot, and we both went riding all the time. It was all there was to do. There was no internet back then, and we weren't real big on my Atari. The games were fun, but they looked funny on the big screen because the colors didn't match up with each other right. So we rode our bikes to the arcade way more often than we played my Atari.
It was late on a Saturday night, my parents were in Florida for the weekend at a wedding. The old, late-night horror movies were over, and we'd gotten into Dad's liquor cabinet a while ago. We were both acting silly and feeling funny. Cable television was still pretty new, and MTV had just gotten started. We had watched the videos and sipped on vodka and orange juice, like we had seen on television. Then we had found a channel showing a beach movie with girls in bikinis and tight t-shirts, and guys in swimming trunks, and were lying on the floor in front of the projection screen.
He started talking about what he'd like to do to the girls. I played along, but kept thinking about how I would like to do things with him. I wanted to mention the hand-jobs we had given each other last month, but I didn't know how to bring it up without sounding like a fag. I kept laughing at his jokes and taking glances at his bare chest and his lap.
"I bet she gives great head with those big lips!" he said, laughing.
"I bet!" I agreed.
I thought he would with those big lips of his. I wished I had the guts to ask him to find out. Or let me find out if I could give him good head. I thought I would be really good at it.
"Man! I'd fuck her until she begged me to stop!"
"She's got the nicest ass, too!"
Like yours. All round and full and soft, I thought, glancing at it as he laid on his belly next to me. I bet yours feels great, Aaron.
I was looking at it when he turned his head and looked at me. He kind of laughed then looked back up at the screen. I looked back. The guy with the blond hair and the really tight shorts was kind of cute. I could easily tell he had a nice big one, because it showed, hanging down one side along his leg. I wanted to say how hot that was, and how cute he was.
"Check out the red-head with the big tits!"
She walked up to the blond guy and smiled and started talking to him. She had smaller tits, but a nice face and nice lips.
I sipped my screwdriver. It was almost gone. So was his. I downed my last couple of swallows and asked if he wanted another one. He nodded, never looking away from the movie and girls on the screen, and handed me his glass after he downed the last of the drink. I made another one for each of us, just like we had seen on the movie. I was behind him, so he couldn't see that I looked at him so much while I made the drinks. He was lying on the floor on his stomach, so his butt was real prominent and looked so great. And his legs were just far enough apart that the place where they met was inviting. My eyes were locked on his legs and butt as I walked back, then laid down next to him again. The cold juice was awesome on the hot night.
After a few minutes and more of his comments about the girls, I saw out of the corner of my eye that he looked over at me and kept looking. I turned my head and looked back.
"What?" I asked.
"How come you never say anything?"
"About the chicks?"
"I do," I said. "I just did."
"You said yeah. You never... I don't know, bring it up. Just say, yeah."
I shrugged and put on a kind of grin, trying to play it off. But I suddenly got so worried, even scared. I'd just been thinking about his body, and what we had done last month, and what I wanted to do to him, and I knew I was gay. I felt so weird suddenly. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it wasn't, but I got so shook up.
Why do I like guys? Why do I like Aaron? It's bad enough I have to like guys, but my cousin? Why? What's wrong with me? Why do I like his lips? And his eyes? And his smile? And his voice? And his body? All of his body. The colors, the shapes, all of it. Every last inch. Why?
I started crying. Like a switch was turned on. I felt like a complete idiot. More than just an idiot, a lying pervert. I wanted to stay as close to him as we always were, best friends and cousins, but I knew if he knew what I was, he'd probably hate me. Everybody would.
He put his arm over my shoulders and asked what was wrong.
We were close friends, way more than just cousins, or best friends, and I wanted to tell him the truth about me. He deserved to know. So, I stopped myself from crying, looked him right in the eyes, and took a really deep breath.
"Aaron, please don't hate me," was all I got out.
"Why would I? Don't be an asshole. What the hell is wrong?"
He kept his arm over my shoulders and put his face right in mine. He looked so worried.
"Tell me what's wrong, Jimbo, man."
I couldn't stop crying. I put my face on the floor and covered my head with my arms. I just wanted to hide. Hide from being gay, and hide from him. From the embarrassment and the shame. The horror.
"Jimbo! What the fuck?"
He kind of hugged me with his arm and I felt his other hand brushing my hair.
"James, fucking look at me and tell me what's so wrong all of a sudden!"
He demanded it, and he was always so good at doing that when he wanted to. I looked up and into his face, and stopped crying so badly.
"I like guys. I'm a homo, man!"
I sobbed like a scared little kid, and I felt like one, too.
His mouth opened and his eyes got big.
I was waiting for him to get up and leave. I started to cry some, again, but not so bad. The worst was over, I hoped. He didn't get up and leave, he didn't even take his arm from my shoulder, and he didn't scoot further away.
His face changed, and he grinned at me, and his arm got tighter around my shoulders.
"I don't care, James. You're my cuz, and you're cool, and we're friends even more than family. I don't care. Just stop crying about it, okay?"
He put his forehead against mine and kept smiling at me, and I suddenly felt as if the whole world had been on my shoulders, but he had swiped it away.
"I'm a fag, man!"
"So? You're James, first. My bud, second. My cuz, third. Maybe a butt-ranger, fourth, but so what?"
I laughed, and I felt free, and I felt great.
His face got that grin he got when he thought of something to do that would be fun, or likely get us in trouble.
"What?" I asked, almost laughing.
I sniffled and stopped crying, and really just wanted to hug him back.
"Does this mean you'd give me a blow-job?"
"I don't know if I can do one back to you, I ain't gay or nothing. But, I'll sure jerk you off again. I know some things to do to make it different, too! Like using hand lotion. And ice. And I know this trick with a coffee stirrer."
"You take it and make the end of it round and smooth, then you-"
"No! You fucking idiot! I mean, what the fuck? Why don't you hate me now?"
He got a puzzled look on his face and shook his head.
"You really think I'd change liking you because you told me you're gay? So what. You're Jimbo. Jamesarooni. The Great Jimbolina. Well, maybe I better not use that one anymore, huh?"
I laughed, even though it wasn't that funny. I guess it was relief at his not getting up and running away. He had his half-grin on, the one that he used to hide what he was thinking, but not the one he used when he was hiding something from me.
"You don't care?" I asked.
"I just told you I don't. No, I don't. Man, we been best friends since we were kids! We've done everything together. Hell, we jerked each off last month. So what if you're gay. That don't change nothing."
I couldn't believe I had told him, but I really couldn't believe he didn't care that I was gay.
"You could've told me before," he said, kind of rocking me with his arm on my shoulders. "Man, you're the best bud I have. Even if we wasn't cousins, I bet we'd be best buds for life. It's like we..." he shrugged, "sort of belong together. Know what I mean?"
I nodded and kind of laughed. I wish he knew how much I liked him. I wanted to tell him, but I thought I had already told him way more than enough. I was glad he not only didn't hate me, he wanted to keep things the same between us. And it felt great to hear him say how much he liked me. We'd never really said that to each other before. I always thought it.
"It's like we're brothers," I said.
"Yeah. Like brothers. Like blood brothers. Best friends forever. I don't care if you like guys. Not a bit. Not even a little bit. Okay? Just, do me a favor?"
"What? Anything, cuz!"
I meant anything. I would have done anything for him then. Before, sure, but right then, anything.
"Don't tell anyone else."
"Good. I don't want to have to fight half the school."
"Why would you have to fight anyone?"
"Because half the school would pick on you, and I'd have to beat the fuck out of all of 'em."
I laughed a little and wiped at my eyes a little. It felt really great that he had said that. Like I was being protected. I guess I liked that feeling. I know I wanted to kiss him. So badly. I wanted to hug him, too, like he was doing to me. I didn't know if I should, though. I was worried about what he would think if I did. A kind of shudder went through me as the last of the crying ended. I started feeling so much better.
"Cuz, you're too cool," I told him, looking right into his awesome blue-gray eyes.
It was as close as I could come to telling him much I liked him.
"Yeah, well, what can I say? I'm the coolest dude in school."
I wanted to say at least one more thing to him right then, and I thought I could get away with it, so I did.
"The cutest, too."
He got red-faced and grinned, laughed a little.
"Geeze," he groaned, all embarrassed and totally cute, rolling his eyes at me.
"Sorry," I said, finding it hard to look at him now.
"S'okay. But, um, can I ask again?"
I looked up. He was even more red-faced now, and grinning that grin that usually led us right into some hot water with our folks.
"Would you give me a blow-job sometime?"
My stomach flipped over, making my whole chest warm and my heart flutter. I gasped at him.
"You really serious?" I asked.
He sort of shrugged, his arm still over my shoulder. Then he nodded, blushing really darkly. His big, red lips were so inviting, I had to fight not to try to kiss them.
"I'd really, kinda, sorta, like to, yeah."
He bit his lower lip with all of his upper teeth and smiled really widely. Gosh, he was so cute.
"If you do, I'll show you something."
"I saw Vaseline in the hall linen closet before. Still there?"
"I think so."
"I saw something on that video tape my brother had. This chick in it did something the guy on the tape seemed to really like. I tried it, and, man, it fucking rocks!"
He grinned that one that meant he wasn't going to tell me, but it would be worth it when he did. I grinned back.
"The one I told you about. We hunted for it all those times."
I thought he had lied about it and we had wasted all that time hunting in his brother's room for nothing.
"I think he borrowed it, that's why we never found it."
"What'd she do?"
He gave me that grin again. I sighed and rolled my eyes.
"So, I don't think I can blow you back or anything, I'm not... well, not like you. But, I'll do that thing, and show you a bunch of stuff."
I thought we told each other everything, so what could he know that he hadn't told me about.
"Just some stuff I know," he said with a shrug. "Don't ask, okay? So, how about it?"
How about it? Hell fucking yes! But I didn't want to seem that excited about it.
"Um, sure, I guess. But, one thing."
"If I do it. If I... give you a blow-job, um..."
"No, I won't ever tell anyone! Don't even have to ask, man. Geeze."
"No, not that! I know you won't tell! Man, Aaron, I know that."
I did, too. If there was one person in the entire world I trusted, it was Aaron. More than my parents. Anyone.
"Then what? Name it."
"It can't be just once."
There, I'd said it.
He blinked at me and looked confused.
"Once? Hell no! I'll probably want one all the time!"
He laughed, and so did I.
"Until you get tired of doing it!"
"I won't!" I promised.
I knew I wouldn't ever get tired of it.
For what seemed like forever, we looked at each other, right in the eyes. It was like time stopped. I kept thinking that I should ask him if now was okay, or just reach down and bend over and start doing it. I was so hard. It tingled down there like crazy! And butterflies filled my stomach. My muscles tingled and sort of shook a little. It was so weird and so strange and so hot.
He bit his lower lip and grinned, red-faced. We snickered a lot.
"You ready?" he asked.
I nodded, and I felt myself smile even wider.
"What do we do?" he asked.
"I, guess, you lay back, I guess."
He took his arm off my shoulders and laid on his back. He seemed to move in slow motion. Those wonderful tingles grew stronger and it was almost a little hard to breathe. I felt my heart pounding in my chest so hard it almost hurt. And what my dick was doing was insane; I thought it was trying to tear through my underwear and my jeans.
He put his arms by his side and lay still, grinning, all red-faced. His bare chest was so pale compared to his blushed, smiling face. But his pink nipples stood out like always. I so badly wanted to lick and suck on them while my hands went all over his body. I looked down his front, over his smooth belly and to his lap. I could see his erection making a bulge there. His jeans weren't tight, so his dick pushed them upward some. I sat up cross-legged.
I couldn't believe it was my hands that were reaching out to undo his button. I watched them unzip the zipper. They shook. My whole body shook. I opened his jeans and started pulling them down. He lifted his butt off the floor, and I saw his white briefs appear, and then the bump of his erection, then the bulge of his balls, then his pale legs. The way his balls moved around in his briefs as he moved his legs while I took his jeans off over his feet was awesome. And the way his dick pushed up on the briefs made my breath come faster and faster.
I was almost panting as I watched my hands lift the waistband of his Fruit-Of-The-Looms. When I pulled them down and his pink and red dick poked out, I sighed and shivered. Then I got them down far enough that his balls were visible, all red and almost scarlet. I watched his balls move as he pulled his legs out of his briefs, fascinated. He was now totally naked. I looked, swallowed, and sighed out loud.
I looked up at his face then, afraid he was grossed out that the fag had sounded so faggy. He was ginning really widely, blushing, but didn't look like he was grossed out or anything of the sort. He looked like he was having the time of his life. Like when we were up to what our folks would call, "No good."
His freckles were almost hard to see with that bright blush all over his face. His blue-gray eyes were almost glowing. His upper lip seemed darker red than usual, and his lower one was trapped behind his upper teeth. He was so cute!
I'd seen him naked before a few times, changing clothes or getting into or out of swimming trunks, and in the showers during junior high, but seeing him totally naked on the floor right in front of me, and with a hard-on, and grinning and blushing, and we both knew what I was about to do, it was awesome!
There were shivers in every muscle of my body. I was breathing rapidly, my heart was hammering, and I was so hard it felt as if the skin were being stretched too tightly over it. And that heavy ache behind my balls was stronger than ever before. It was incredible.
I laid down flat on my belly, careful not to hurt my dick. It felt so hard that I wondered if it was possible to break it. My whole body thrilled like crazy as I put my face near his dick. Up close, it was fascinating. I'd never been so close to a dick before. The hole in the end was more of a slit. It was tightly closed and red. His head was dark pink, and the edges of his dick were soft and gentle compared to mine and the ones we had seen in magazines together. His head was longer than mine, too. There skin behind his head was dark pink, then pale for the rest of it, right up to his bright reddish-orange pubes. He had a lot more hair than I did, and almost had a real triangle of hair. It was so fine looking though, all brightly colored and with pale skin behind it. His sack was almost scarlet. It had a line where it got dark, pale skin on one side, darkish-red on the other. His balls were bigger than mine and his sack didn't let them hang very far.
He was so perfect.
I watched my hand grab his dick. It moved and bent a little when my fingers first wrapped around it. It was hard and hot, and I could feel his heart beating in it. He sighed a little. I didn't know what to do with my other hand as I laid there, propped up on my elbows, with my face over his stuff and one hand on his dick, so I laid it on the warm skin just above his pubes, and I could feel his rapid breathing with it.
I looked up and saw him smiling really widely at me, still biting his lower lip. He nodded.
I looked back down at my hand holding his dick. I pulled the little bit of loose skin down so that my hand was against his pubes. The very end of his dick poked out of my hand. I lowered my head. It was like I moved in slow motion. His beautiful cock grew bigger and closer in my eyes. I couldn't believe this!
Then I could smell him. It was sort of spicy and smelled really nice.
I put my lips on it. It was so smooth, so warm, so soft. I moved my hand so that it was sort of flat on his pubes and was just holding the base of his dick, then slipped my lips down over the rest of his head. So smooth! So warm! So soft! It tasted salty. I knew why. I'd tasted the clear pre-cum my dick leaked when I jerked off many times. My lips went over the soft edges of his head. He inhaled sharply and then kind of gasped a little. I felt his body sort of shudder under my hands.
I slid my lips further down, along the pole of his dick. It was smooth, but not nearly as smooth as the head had felt. Then my tongue felt his head. I sighed really strongly and my body sort of squirmed inside. I heard him gasp and felt him shudder under my hands.
"Man, cuz, that feels really nice," he said quietly, just above a whisper.
I licked his head. It was amazingly smooth and amazingly soft, and so warm. And salty. And, God, how I loved it. I'd always thought that I would like it, but I never knew how much I would. It was amazing! I couldn't believe my body felt so amazing and sent so many sensations to my brain when nothing was being done to it, just someone else.
I held onto the base of his dick, and felt it sort of twitch a little. I kept licking his soft, smooth, warm head. It was so much fun!
Then I sucked. I wasn't sure how hard to suck, but we'd heard guy at school say how the harder a girl sucked, the better it felt, so I sucked hard.
He sat up and bent over my head, pushing me down his dick and making it hard to breathe. I didn't care. I would have let him suffocate me so long as I could keep his dick in my mouth. He wasn't pushing down on my head with his hands, it was his chest and stomach that was doing that. He was bent over double, sitting up, his legs spread wide and his knees bent and high, and he started shaking and groaning.
"Fuck! Jimbo! Oh my God!"
I sucked harder. He groaned deep down in his chest, almost like a long, never-ending grunt. His whole body seemed to be shaking. His legs kicked like crazy. My guts went all liquid and my muscles trembled. My dick felt like it was going to start shooting into my shorts, and my balls tingled like mad. I loved it!
He scrunched up tighter, forcing me further down on his dick. The end of his dick pushed against the back of my throat just a little. The whole length of his dick was along the whole length of my tongue, and I couldn't lick the head anymore, just the very bottom of the shaft, so I did. My hands needed something to do, and with his knees nearly in his face, I had great access to his balls by reaching around and under one of his legs, so I played with them. My other hand could only hold onto his hip with that arm wrapped around his waist, and I could feel his body trembling.
"Oh, God! Shit! Jim, that's, like, amazing! Wow!"
He kept talking. It was like he couldn't shut up. I didn't mind, it was just kind of funny.
I held onto his hip near his butt, played with his balls with the other hand, sucked and licked, and tried to breath with him bent double over me, pushing my face into his pubes. He shook like mad, and so did I. It was the most amazing time of my life!
"Jim! Fuck! Man! Oh, man! Yeah! SHIT!"
The smell and taste as I sucked on his dick was awesome. It really was kind of hard to breathe, but I didn't care. I sucked and licked, played with his balls, and held on with the arm around his waist. He rocked and shook, grunted and groaned, and talked endlessly.
"Jim! God! Man! That is so fucking amazing! Holy fucking shit! Amazing!"
He got strings of words out between his heavy breathing and wordless grunts and groans. I gasped for air and sucked and licked and held on. He started rocking back and forth so that it made it harder to keep his cock in my mouth.
"Geeze! That's soooo good! Holy hell in a hand-basket! Fuck, yes! Awww!"
He shuddered all over, and curled up tighter. His front was pressing against the back of my head so forcefully that I couldn't have gotten out of his lap if I had to now. I sucked his dick, sucked in air through my nose, and held on to his hip with one hand and played with his balls with the other. I shivered and shook, too. I loved it!
His dick started dancing in my mouth. I tasted his salty pre-cum and sucked for more. I played with his balls, and held on to his waist with the other arm. His legs were tightly against the side of my head, his stomach and chest against the back of my head. He grunted and started pushing his hips.
I could feel his heavy, hot breath on the back of my head and down my neck and back. He whispered, more grunted, "Oh, Jim! I think I'm gonna! Oh, fuck! I'm sorry! I can't let go! Oh, shit! I'm sorry!"
I felt the skin of the back of his sack sort of moving, his dick sort of bent in my mouth, then I tasted a heavy, strong, musky flavor as a thick, slimy, gooey liquid started flowing into the back of my throat. I sort of choked, then swallowed, and felt some of that stuff try to go up into my nose. I sucked air in through my nose and swallowed as more came out of him.
"God, ugh!" he grunted again and again, over and over as his body jerked all around me.
I sucked as his dick danced in my mouth and his balls moved in my hand, and his entire body convulsed around my head.
God, how I loved it.
All of a sudden he was pulling me off of himself and saying, "God! Stop!"
As soon as I was out of his lap, he collapsed onto his back and let go of my head. He was panting and shaking, then curled up around his groin, holding it with both hands, laughing and rocking.
I licked my lips and swallowed, unable to believe I had actually sucked his dick.
All curled up like that, his butt was so round and inviting. I reached out and laid my hand against the soft, warm cheek. I rubbed it gently, feeling how warm and smooth his skin was. My other hand stroked his lean thigh. He looked up at me, grinning as wide as I had ever seen him, all red-faced.
"Fuck! Jim! That was fucking amazing!"
"Cool," I said, grinning really widely, glad he had liked it.
I've sucked a dick! kept repeating over and over in my head. I sucked Aaron's dick!
"Ohhhh," he sighed deeply as he unwound.
I lost his ass as he rolled onto his back, but I got to see his dick and balls again. His nuts were sucked up tight against him, just a rounded bulge. His dick was amazingly red, the head actually purple. It was all soft and wet, and I still wanted to suck it. I watched his pale, smooth belly as he panted.
He looked up at me, a worried look on his face. "I'm sorry, Jim! I... I couldn't move! Honest! It... it just felt so... amazing! I didn't mean to make you..."
I said dismissively, "Can't blame you, I guess. Forget it."
I shrugged and smiled.
"You really aren't mad?"
"Fuck that. No way."
He went back to smiling again. I was so glad. I smiled wider. His head dropped back onto the floor.
"How was it?" I asked.
He smiled even wider, then laughed a little, shaking his head and looking up at the ceiling.
"Jim, man, that was the most amazing thing I've ever felt!"
His hand sort of started fiddling with his soft, red dick. He kept grinning at the ceiling. I looked at every inch of his body, longing to attack it all with my tongue. Especially his red and purple dick. My own dick was dancing in my shorts. I wanted to ask him if he would do me. I knew he wouldn't though. I knew what it was like after blowing a wad, and I knew he wasn't interested in doing anything right then. I wished he was, but I knew better. He just wanted to lay still and relax and come down.
He shook his head and kept grinning at the ceiling. He shivered and then sighed, blowing his breath out really loudly.
"Guess I did it right, huh?"
He laughed and shook his head again, then lifted his head up to look at me again, smiling so widely.
"Cuz, that was absolutely amazing," he said, still smiling and still shaking his head. "Fucking awesome. Insanely intense. The, best, thing, ever!"
He stared into my eyes, grinning and laughing, then dropped his head back onto the floor with a loud, "Wow!" and then more laughs.
I sat on my butt and toyed with my erection in my jeans. I wanted to whip it out and beat it madly. He looked at me and nodded.
"Yeah, don't worry, cuz, I'm gonna give you the best hand-job you've ever felt! Just let me recover here, first. Wow."
He went back to staring at the ceiling, smiling and shaking his head, breathing hard. I grinned, glad he was still willing to, and overjoyed at what I had gotten to do. I could still taste his cum.
"Just let me get back to Earth. Cripes!" He shivered again and laughed. "Wow!"
I laughed, feeling great, and really looking forward to that hand-job. I hoped he wouldn't make me wait too long, I was dying!
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