Date: Mon, 11 Dec 2000 15:10:33 -0800
From: Desert Guys <jg.ps@gte.net>
Subject: Jim and Jimmy Chapter 24

Jim and Jimmy
A novel by Greg Bowden
jg.ps@gte.net

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
"That's exactly what they were: good together."

Jimmy and David spent many years being thankful for that week in Clear
Harbor because after it they never saw Jim again. He died in the third week
of August, in the late evening, sitting on the little bedroom balcony
watching the stars and the sea. Shareff said Jim had looked quite peaceful
when he found him.

Following Jim's specific instructions, there was no service of any kind. He
was cremated and his ashes placed in an urn which sat in a corner of the
garden outside the yellow drawing room. When the time came, Shareff's ashes
were to be mixed with Jim's and they were then to be spread over the land
and water of Clear Harbor.

After the cremation Shareff asked the family to gather at Clear Harbor for
a remembrance of Jim. Not a formal thing but a time to share memories and
stories with one another. For Shareff it was a way of mourning Jim and a
way of marking the finish to their life together.

For Jimmy, filled with his own pain of loss, it was also a time to be with
Shareff and do what he and David could to ease his emptiness.

The family, regardless of what they thought of Shareff's relationship with
Jim, rallied around him -- and around Jimmy, too, for after all, Jim had
been his father. They were all there: Jimmy and David, Marta and Anton,
Claudine and Franz, Anton and Charlotte, and for the first time ever, they
all got along. For four days there wasn't a spat, an unkind word or a
critical comment. It was, as Jimmy said to David after the third night's
dinner, just slightly eerie.

As usual, the first morning after everyone arrived David and Jimmy were
awakened by a knock on the French doors.

"If you have your wife out there with you, go away. If you're alone, go
away."

"I'm alone but I can't. Sooner or later you guys have to do it and I'm
waiting to get educated."

Something didn't sound right. Jimmy couldn't decide if it was the voice or
the delivery or what, but something was wrong. "Okay, okay. Come in but
keep your eyes closed. At our age it isn't a pretty sight."

Anton came in and sat on the bed between them, looking serious. "I'm really
sorry, Uncle Jimmy," he said in a quiet voice. "I liked him, and I know he
loved Grandpa a lot. They... they were good together."

"That's exactly what they were: good together. I think he'd be pleased to
know that you saw that."

"It's hard on you, too, isn't it?" He tousled Jimmy's hair.

"Yea. I loved him. I guess most guys love their fathers, but I think we
were a little different about it. I'm going to miss him. A lot."

Anton suddenly leaned down and kissed Jimmy lightly on the lips. "Well, I
just wanted to tell you... I don't know, say I'm sorry, I guess."

Jimmy reached out and patted him on the cheek. "Thank you, Anton. That
means a great deal to me." He smiled, determined to break the mood. "Now,
what's with you and the new bride? You figured out how to do it yet?"

Anton smiled but there wasn't much humor in it. "Oh, sure. We're doing
great. Figured it out the first night." He hopped off the bed and went to
the door. "Well, I got to go, keep up the domestic tranquillity and
all. Don't be late to breakfast."

"Now what was that all about?" David asked when Anton had gone. "No banter,
no sexy remarks and no swim. And I don't think he was hurrying back for a
morning quickie, either."

"No," Jimmy said uneasily, "that much was obvious. Something's not going
well and he doesn't want to talk about it yet. I wish we knew what it was
so we could help." He shook his head. He knew there was nothing they could
do until Anton was ready for help, so he put it away and turned over to
look provocatively at David. "Now what was that you were you saying about
morning quickies?"

After the family left Shareff insisted that David and Jimmy go also. He
said he needed to be alone for a while and get used to -- well, get used to
whatever it was he was supposed to get used to. Jimmy and David knew --
from Ishmael -- that Shareff hadn't slept in his bedroom since the night
Jim died so they suggested to him that he temporarily move out to their
quarters. Shareff smiled and said no, he was doing fine in the gray
room. The gray room was the smallest of the guest rooms, originally
designed for one of the grandchildren and fitted with only a narrow single
bed.

In September, quite suddenly, Shareff began to travel. He went first to
Germany where he spent two weeks in the capital with Marta and Anton and
then three weeks in Munich with Claudine and Franz. After that it was San
Francisco for a week with Anton and Charlotte which he hated because
Charlotte's parents insisted on showing him off to their society friends
and trying to fix him up with widowed ladies. Then he spent three weeks in
River City with Jimmy and David

Christmas was spent in Paris with Marta and Anton in their elegant new town
house. Marta had convinced Anton that his position as Ambassador to Germany
required such a house and he'd let her have it. As he said, it would keep
her busy for years, redecorating.

Claudine and Franz brought the baby, named Willi after his paternal
grandfather, and his nurse with them. It turned out to be something of a
vacation for the nurse however, since whenever Willi was awake he was in
his great grandfather's arms. Shareff fed, changed and bathed the child and
was very content doing it.

Anton and Charlotte didn't go to Paris, saying it was important to stay in
San Francisco for the "Season", whatever that was.

After Christmas Shareff spent several months in Turkey, living in hotels in
Ankara and Istanbul.

It wasn't until early April that Jimmy and David realized what Shareff was
doing. They were lying in bed, reading, and Jimmy suddenly put his magazine
down and rubbed his eyes. "He's getting ready to die," he said to David.

David banged his head as though knocking water out of his ears. "I must
have lost the telepathic part of that last message," he said.

Jimmy showed him the magazine he'd been reading. It was "International
Business" and Shareff's picture was on the cover. He opened the magazine
and handed it to David. "Just read the sidebar there and look at this
table."

David skimmed through the sidebar and then studied the table. From the two
it was clear that Shareff was systematically liquidating his businesses all
over the world. "What's their guess as to why he's doing it?"

"Some hideously expensive project. You noticed he didn't get rid of that
research outfit he bought for Franz, didn't you? Also there are a couple of
others, mainly in construction, so they think he's going to build some sort
of huge research facility but they admit they haven't a clue as to what the
facility might research."

David handed back the magazine. "And your guess?"

"Everyone in the family has their own interests so he's getting rid of
things so they won't have to deal with them."

David nodded. It made sense.

It made more sense in May when Shareff asked them to visit him at Clear
Harbor.

Ishmael met them at the Barbados airport. "I can't believe that man," David
said when they first caught sight of him, "he's got to be over thirty but
look at him, more handsome than ever." He was dressed in white, this time
with a pale blue stripe down the side of his fitted trousers and a short
sleeved, open shirt. A froth of soft, black hair covered his arms and
spilled out the open neck of his shirt. A full, thick mustache covered his
upper lip.

"What'd you do, loose your razor?" Jimmy asked as he hugged him.

Ishmael grinned. "Kingston has decided to like furry animals," he said,
taking their bags.

Kingston, himself sporting a lush mustache, met them on the front terrace
and directed them to the yellow drawing room.

"He looks old," Jimmy thought to himself when he first saw Shareff, sitting
in the garden by Jim's urn. Shareff rose and came to greet them with a hug
and a kiss. "You are kind to drop your lives and come to visit me," he
said. His voice sounded old, too.

Ishmael served the traditional gin and tonics and then left them alone. His
concern for Shareff was obvious.

"So," Shareff said, "if you will indulge an old man's pleasure in his
memories, we will talk and enjoy ourselves for a few days.

They did enjoy themselves, listening to Shareff remember his life,
especially the part he spent with Jim. They added their own stores and made
him laugh with some of their sexual escapades.

On the second night, sitting in the pool on their terrace, Shareff said,
"You know, when I met James I was very inexperienced with men." Then he
grinned, almost the old Shareff. "Oh, not that I was a virgin with them but
I was not well experienced either. In fact, I was not at all sure about
them and I wondered if perhaps it wouldn't be better to seek a wife or even
give up on it altogether and put all of my energy into work." He grinned
again, letting his foot drift into David's crotch and rest against his
cock.

"I actually did that for a short time. I gave my life to my businesses and
the government."

"What changed your mind?" David felt his dick begin to expand under the
pressure of Shareff's foot.

 "A small boy." Shareff smiled, remembering. "A boy of nearly ten and no,
not as you might think. The boy belonged to an old woman who cleaned for
me, her great grandson, and he said to me one day, 'Why do you work so hard
when it makes you so unhappy?' I denied it of course, but he was right. I
was not happy. After that I let myself sleep with a man now and then but
none of them satisfied me. I think because none of them loved me." He
shrugged and sipped his champagne. He was very slowly growing hard in the
cool water. He put his hand out and cupped Jimmy's balls.

"Then I met my James and I was satisfied. We met at a reception in Ankara,
did he tell you?"

Jimmy nodded. Shareff's touch was gentle and very exciting. Jimmy's dick
began to rise.

"It was a very dull affair until James arrived. When I shook his hand I
knew it would be very easy to fall in love with him. You know, that
afternoon I sent Ishmael to the new town, to ask James to dine with me, I
had an empty feeling in my stomach and paced around the house, worrying
whether he would come or not." He laughed ruefully. "A fifty-five year old
man and I was like a nervous school boy until Ishmael came home to say
James had accepted." He felt David's cock flex under his foot and his own
flexed with it, as though they had been touching, somehow communicating.

"Did I tell you about Ishmael?" He was prolonging the story so he could
savor it. "The ten year old boy. That was Ishmael. When the woman died one
night Ishmael came to me, not to tell me so much as to do her work. He's
been with me ever since. At first, of course, he cleaned and did odd jobs
but then one day I asked the cook how she managed to have fresh figs when I
knew she hadn't had them the day before. She said Ishmael had taught
himself to operate the automobile and he drove her to the town." He laughed
and sipped his wine, holding the glass out for a refill. "So he became the
chauffeur. And now he runs the house." He gently moved his fingers on
Jimmy's balls, sending cool waves up Jimmy's spine.

"Oddly enough it was James who pointed out that Ishmael was... like us. It
was James, too, who let Ishmael do as he wished with his clothes. We both
enjoyed looking at him and he very much liked being looked at so we were
all happy. We never touched him, of course" he grinned at Jimmy, "although
I understand that you..."

Jimmy colored. "Yea. A couple of times. I hope you don't mind."

"Mind? No. Ishmael belongs to Ishmael, or perhaps to Kingston now, but in
any case, Ishmael will do as he wishes."

"What about that first dinner with my dad? Did you..."

"Oh yes, we made love after dinner. I discovered that it was the first time
I'd ever made love with anybody. I resolved then that I would never hide my
love for James from anyone. I would never hide anything."

As though to prove it he stood in the water, his cock erect and swaying out
in front of him. Jimmy leaned forward and took it in his mouth, sliding
down the shaft until he could take no more. Shareff shivered with pleasure
and then slowly withdrew from him.

"No, not... We have brought each other such pleasure over the years
but... No, not tonight. I think instead I shall retire." He climbed out of
the pool, toweled himself off and then turned to them, his cock slowly
lowering itself to lay over his balls. "Good night. Thank you for loving us
as we love you." He left, leaving his clothes behind.

Jimmy and David sat in the pool for a while longer, their legs touching and
finishing their wine. When it was gone Jimmy stood and said, "I want to go
to bed and hold you."

Ishmael woke them the next morning, tears in his eyes. "It is Mr. Agizz. He
is... Please come."

They found him on the balcony of the bedroom he had shared with Jim. He was
sitting in the same chair Jim had, looking quite peaceful.

The family gathered a few days later, as they had for Jim: Marta, tearful
but calm; Anton, oddly appealing in his obvious affection for his
father-in-law; Claudine and Franz, with Willi this time; and, finally,
Anton and Charlotte who arrived late in the morning and left before dinner.

Jimmy and David, in a private ceremony of their own, had mixed Shareff's
ashes with Jim's and then, remembering aloud their times with them, had
brought forth their seed and mixed that in as well so they would always be
a part of these men they loved. Jimmy's silent wish was that Doug could
have been there too, adding his seed along with theirs.

They stood, all of them, on the terrace and watched as the small helicopter
flew low over the island and across the harbor, scattering the ashes. When
it was through they raised their glasses in a silent toast.

Dinner began as a somber affair, everyone seemingly lost in their own
grief. In the middle of the main course Jimmy put his fork down and
giggled.

"What?" David looked concerned.

"I was just thinking about that time at the lake, when we tried to teach
Shareff to water ski. Remember? He fell off the skis but forgot to let go
of the tow rope and before we could get the boat stopped the water pulled
his bathing suit off."

David began to laugh, too. "I remember. Shareff insisted we drive the boat
around and look for the damn thing and he got his backside sunburned for
the trouble. Never did find it."

Anton smiled, enjoying the image of his father-in-law being hauled naked
out of the water and then insisting they try to find his suit.

"Oh, wait," Claudine said, laughing, "remember the time he..."

They spent the next several hours laughing and telling their favorite
stories about Shareff. By the time they went to bed that night their grief
carried a little less sting.

After that, of course, there were the lawyers.

Shareff had left very specific instructions with his attorneys and they
carried them out with great speed and efficiency, perhaps because there was
a clause in Shareff's contract with them which penalized them heavily for
any delays. That contract was overseen by a different firm of attorneys and
since they shared in any penalties, they were quite zealous in their
enforcement of it. Shareff's instructions also stated that Jimmy and David,
and only Jimmy and David, were to be given access to everything that was
done.

Shareff's estate was valued, after taxes and duties, at eight hundred and
fifty million dollars, nearly all of it in cash and securities. Of that
amount, four hundred million went to Jimmy and David together, along with
Clear Harbor. The rest was split among Marta and her children: two hundred
million to Marta with one hundred million of that in a trust from which she
received the income but the body of which was to go to Claudine's and
Anton's children when Marta died or each child reached the age of thirty,
whichever came later.

Claudine and Anton each got one hundred million dollars, held in trust
until they reached their thirtieth birthdays. The research institute, of
course, went to Franz, with no strings.

Bequests were made to Ishmael, Kingston, Ozala and the three housemen. When
Jimmy looked over the bequests he was gratified to see that each had been
left enough to live very comfortably for the rest of their lives.

There were some oddities, too. David and Jimmy had been left several
companies including the construction company that had built Clear Harbor. A
private letter from Shareff told them to do what they thought best with the
companies although he suggested they consider keeping the construction
company. The letter also said that Shareff considered them to be the sons
he'd never had and, however else he might love them, he loved them as sons
first. The letter brought tears to Jimmy's eyes.

"This is way too much to believe," David said to Jimmy when they received
the preliminary accounting. "I knew Shareff was rich but I had no idea he
was that rich. What are we going to do with all that money?"

"I imagine we're going to give a great deal of it away. How does the
Shareff Agizz Chair of Business sound? And the David Langford Chair of
Architectural Studies?"

David laughed. "Maybe. Certainly one for Shareff. But how about the
Langkeith Home for Young Men? A place specifically for guys thrown out by
their folks because they're gay."

Jimmy leaned over and kissed him. "On that one we call the lawyers
tomorrow. You'll design it and, hey, our construction company can build
it."

Once things settled down a little they went back to Clear Harbor for a
couple of days and had a talk with the staff. Two of the housemen had
already left and Ozala wanted to, to go back to Turkey, although she
wouldn't say so out of loyalty. Ishmael, Kingston and the third houseman
wanted to stay if Jimmy and David would have them.

The first thing they did was have a little talk with Ozala. In the end she
cried and thanked them for sending her home. For years after, at Christmas,
a large crate would arrive from Turkey, laden with Ozala's sweets, special
olives and preserves.

That evening, after dinner, they gathered Ishmael, Kingston and Abrum, the
houseman, in the yellow drawing room and asked them to stay. They also made
sure it was understood that some things would probably change, simply
because they lived differently, perhaps more openly, than Shareff and Jim
did. The three nodded and smiled and said they understood. They actually
did, too, except for the houseman who was a little slower than the others
but found, as time went on, everything to be to his liking.

They stayed at Clear Harbor far longer than they had intended but the lazy
days and warm sea conspired to keep them.

One morning a month or so later they were awakened by a loud knock on the
open French doors. "You awake in there?"

"Anton?"

"You don't have to jump apart, someone else already showed me how guys do
it." Anton walked into the room and crawled onto the bed to sit between
them. He was carrying a half filled glass of scotch and ice and he looked
terrible, as though he hadn't slept or eaten in several weeks.

He drank from his glass and made a face. "I hate this stuff," he said,
reaching across Jimmy to put the glass on the bedside table. "It's supposed
to make things easier, give you courage, but I don't think it's working."
He began to cry.

"Anton." David sat up and put his arms around him, holding him tight
against his chest. "It's okay. Really, it's okay." He rubbed Anton's back,
the way you would a child's, until his sobs subsided. Jimmy went to the
bathroom and came back with a cool, wet cloth and gently wiped the tears
from Anton's face.

"Shit!" Anton broke away. At first they thought he was going to bolt but he
fell back against the pillows, biting his lower lip. "Shit," he said again
and dug in his pocket for a handkerchief which he used noisily. Jimmy and
David waited, giving him time to pull himself together.

"I... I'm sorry. It's just..." His face screwed up and they thought he
might cry again but he bit down on his lip, hard, and waited until it
passed. He looked from one to the other of them and took a deep breath. He
tried to smile but it didn't work. "See, the thing is, I screwed up."

They waited patiently.

"I mean, I really wanted to be a good husband for her."

They waited again. This time it took longer.

"But the God damned truth of it is I'm not and I never was and she always
hated me for it and now she's thrown me out and I can't help it I honest to
God can't help it if I'm a faggot." The words came out all in a jumble,
like an avalanche suddenly breaking loose and pouring down a mountain side.

When they managed to get the story out of him it was an ugly one. From
their wedding night Anton had been impotent with Charlotte much of the time
and when he wasn't he still couldn't satisfy her. Charlotte's mother had
advised her daughter to take a lover as, it turned out, she had done
herself a number of times over the years. Charlotte followed her mother's
advice and began seeing a man who was being passed around in her Junior
League chapter.

This went on for two years, the men changing but the general routine the
same. At the same time, Charlotte took great delight in teasing Anton about
his impotence, often obliquely referring to it at a dinner party or over
cocktails with friends. Eventually she wore him down and he quit trying.

The whole thing ended when Anton came home early one day and found her on
the living room floor with the man who serviced her Cadillac. When he
walked in she threw the man off of her and jumped up, screaming at Anton to
get out. The man had stayed on the floor, his cock wilting, unsure what to
do next. Anton walked out and spent the night in a hotel.

The next day his boss, Charlotte's father, called him into his office and
said his daughter was threatening to file for divorce. He advised Anton to
forget whatever might have happened, go out and buy her an expensive piece
of jewelry and go home and ask for forgiveness. He even offered to loan him
the money to pay for the jewelry.

Anton did go home. Charlotte was in the living room again, this time
alone. She told him he was of no use to her, probably of no use to any
woman and suggested that he was probably a faggot, just like his
grandfather. She also told him he was a social clod and an embarrassment to
both her and her family and they would all be very pleased to see him
go. She'd even packed a suitcase for him.

The next day her father fired him.

The day after that he let himself be picked up by a guy on the street and
for the first time he had sex with a man. It was the most fun he'd ever had
in bed.

"But I really tried with her. I wanted to make her happy, to be a good
husband, a respected man in the community and I failed."

"Okay, so you failed with a woman. There are more women out there. And so
you fucked with some guy, one time doesn't make you a faggot." Jimmy wasn't
quite sure just what was going on here. It wasn't like Anton was a stranger
to men who loved men. "Anton..."

"Don't you see? I failed. I couldn't do it. That hurts. And what do you
think my father, the illustrious ambassador is going to say? He'll say I
ruined his career, made him a laughing stock. I can just hear him now. God,
I wish I was dead."

"Oh, now wait a minute. Your father's been around. His own father-in-law,
for God's sake..."

"No, Uncle David. He married into it, he didn't create it. Sure he likes
you guys but you're. Not. His. God. Damned. Son." He spit the words out
with venom.

"Anton..."

"No. I just came to tell you... To say good..." He began to cry
again. Jimmy took him in his arms and let him cry. When he was through he
wiped his eyes and said softly, "Thanks for listening. I... I'm on the noon
plane and..." He climbed off the bed and forced a smile. "See you around,
huh?"

They didn't see him for three years.


------------------
To be continued
All comments, criticisms, suggestions are gratefully received and always
answered.
Greg
jg.ps@gte.net