Date: Sat, 20 Jan 2001 22:35:15 -0500 From: Ritch Christopher Subject: just-beyond-that-hill-6 Usual disclaimer: All rights reserved. Copyright owned by author. If you are underage or are offended by gay fiction containing graphic sex and explicit language, please read no farther. <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> As I drove away from the homestead, really, for the first time, one million thoughts were racing through me head, and another million pangs of anxiety. It was like dying and being reborn all at the same time. I remember a play we had to read in school, Thornton Wilder's, "Our Town", where the girl, Emily, died, and came back to her own funeral to say goodbye to everything she had loved. It was my time now to say, "Goodbye, farm. Goodby, Tennessee...Bradley County....Momma, Dad...Eddie, Marie,...my memories of Hal...goodbye to the smell of mimosa blossoms after a spring rain...the odor they give off mixed with the old rusty window screen...goodbye to plowing...planting...harvesting...goodbye to squash and okra and lima beans...cornbread and buttermilk...cows and farms...the old swimming hole...goodbye to all I loved, that had died. But that was only half of the picture...what was I about to say hello to? I had no idea...frankly, I didn't know where I was going...I was going away...to make things better...for whom?...me?...Eddie?...Marie?...Maybe all of us and none of us. I thanked goodness I didn't have a pet to say goodbye to. I guess in my lonely and insecure world, I had come to love animals, almost more than humans. Animals don't judge you. All they know is to give back as much love as you give to them. I wish people were that way. My thoughts kept running back to Eddie. What would he think, say, or do when he awoke and discovered I was gone. I didn't even leave a note. If I had taken time to write one, I probably never would have left. I would write him later and let him know where I was, when I got there, as soon as I knew where... I had blurted out to him that I might go to Atlanta...or Louisville...or California...or New York. I had my entire life savings of $462.39. Let's see...gas is 10 cents a gallon...I get about 40 miles to the gallon in the old pick-up. Hell I could drive all the way to California for about $25.00 including meals. I figured I could sleep in the truck bed and not have to spend the three or four bucks a night on a motel room. That was a waste of money, unless you wanted to bathe and keep dry in case it rained, By 1:30 PM, I had made it through Memphis, and was ready to cross the Mississippi River, into Arkansas. I had never been outside the state of Tennessee, before. This was both, scary, and exciting. Why couldn't Eddie be going with me. We loved each other...and we belonged together. Maybe, one day, we would be...Oh God, if You do exist...let there be a little heaven on earth for me and Eddie, to live our lives, as one. I knew this was wrong to pray...I didn't really pray...I just thought it. Maybe that wouldn't count. I had been driving since 3:30AM, and I was tired. I needed to pull off the side of the road and rest awhile...maybe get a map of the entire country and decide which way I was headed. I was about 50 miles inside Arkansas, and I saw a little dirt road, bearing off to the right. It led to a little grove of shady trees. This would be a good place to catch forty winks. The last time I stopped for gas, in Memphis, I had gone into their country store and picked up some Spam, crackers, potted meat, a loaf of light bread, a hunk of cheese, about a dozen different kinds of cokes...Grapette, Dr. Pepper, Orange Crush, R.C., and Double Cola...and a bunch of candy bars... two-for-a-nickel Hershey bars with almonds, my favorite and two Moon Pies. I had bought a ten cent jar of French's mustard...so I made two Spam sandwiches and decided to have myself a picnic before sleeping. I took my bag of groceries, got out of the truck and went to a big elm tree to enjoy my feast. As I sat down on the ground, I looked to the left and saw a big pond. There was an old wooden dock and a boy, sitting there with a cane pole, fishing. Arkansas was beautiful. Lots of hills in the background. The boy's fishing pole was bending. He had caught something. He gave it a big yank, and up popped a big catfish...looked like a foot and a half long. He took it off the hook and put the fish on his stringer. Damn, he had caught a mess of them..maybe ten or fifteen fish...I saw what looked like a stripe bass, a couple of drum, and some strange looking fish with diamonds shapes on its back. He looked like the typical country boy, sitting there fishing in his straw hat and overalls...no shirt or shoes, because he was dangling his feet in the water. I watched him as I ate. I was through with my meal, about the same time, he decided he had caught enough fish. So he started picking up his gear and began walking up a path which led up towards me. As he drew nearer, I kept thinking of that old poem Momma use to recite to me at bedtime, "Barefoot boy with cheeks of tan". He wasn't good looking...he was cute...about 15 or 16 years old...blonde hair spread across his forehead, gripped by the headband of his straw hat...short...about 5'8"...wide-eyed (blue) and a row of freckles across his nose...He looked like a teenage Butch Jenkins, who was always Margaret O'Brien's playmate. He saw me and wandered my way. "Looks like you've had a very lucky day." I said to him. "Sir?" "Your string of fish, there..." "Oh, no sir, this was a bad day...I usually ketch twice this many." "You must be a good fisherman, then." "Yessir, when they're bitin'." "Whaddya use for bait?" "Grub worms, sir, I dig 'em up, myself." "I always do, too...and you don't have to call me sir. I bet I'm only a couple of years older than you." "Momma says your 'spose to say "sir" and "maam" to everyone, so I do." I laughed. "I guess I do, too...that's the way we, southerners, talk," "You from around here?" "No, I'm from Tennessee...just travelling through..." "Where ya headed?" "Don't know." "You mean you're goin' somewhere and don't know where you're goin'?" "That's about the size of it." "You runnin' from somethin' or somebody?" Very perceptive, he. "I hadn't thought about it, but I guess I am." "You ain't in trouble with the law, are ya?" "No...not the law...the laws of nature." "'scuse me?" "I was just making a joke...I've lived all my life on a farm and never seen the world, so I just got in my truck and started driving West...to see what was out here." "How far you goin'" "As far as it takes." "When I grow up, I'm goin' out west. too." "Oh? And where out west are you going?" "Hollywood, California...I'm gonna go way out there and meet Marilyn Monroe." "Oh, you like, Marilyn?" "Yessir, I seen all her movies...and don't tell no one, but I got this big picture of her on cardboard. She's layin' on a red satin sheet...and she ain't got no clothes on. She's on her side and you can see the red nipple of one of her titties. I keep it hid on one of the cow stalls in the barn. I go out there every afternoon, and just sit and look at it. It makes my pecker hard." "Do you think about doing things with her?" "Yessir! All kinds of things. Things I can't even talk about...they're so dirty. No one knows I got the picture, though." "You have a big family?" "Did, but I don't, now. Daddy fell off the tractor and it ran over him and killed him. I had three older brothers...two in the army and one in the marines...and they all got killed in Korea. I had one little sister who died from polio and now all I've got is my thirteen year old brother, Lyle...He, Momma, and me, is all that's left." "My big brother was killed in Korea, too...We were close." A pause. "By the way, my name's Judd...what's yours?" "Hal." I felt a chill go through my body. "That was my brother's name." Another pause. "Do you like Marilyn Monroe, too?" "Yeah, I think she is beautiful." "I like them Esther Williams movies too. She looks so good in a bathing suit." "Yes, she's a good swimmer." "I don't have any big pictures of her, like Marilyn's." "So Marilyn makes your pecker get hard?" "Doesn't she, yours?" "Not really...but then, I haven't seen your picture." "I bet if you seen it, yours would get hard, too." "What do you do when your pecker gets hard...I mean, how do you get it to go down." "That's a secret, too. But I got this way...Momma or Lyle don't know anything about it, but if you rub your pecker a certain way...it gets harder and harder and then your whole body starts trembling and you want to stop, but you just cain't...so you keep rubbin' and rubbin' and this thick white pee comes out of your pecker...and then it goes down...Do you know what I'm talkin' about...I mean...have you ever rubbed your pecker 'til your pee turns to buttermilk?" I wanted to burst out laughing, but since he had revealed his innermost secrets to me, I decided to maintain an atmosphere of severity. "I've heard about it. My brother Hal told me about how he and some of his friends use to do it." "Ain't you ever tried it?" What's one more lie?..."No, I never have." "Want me to show you?...It feels real good." "What would I have to do?" "Come with me over behind those bushes and I'll show you, if you wanna." This was too funny to be true. I knew he was being sincere. I didn't want to embarrass him...and at the same time, I didn't want to have sex with a 15 or 16 year old kid. "Why don't we go over there, and you show me what you do, and then if it looks like I might like it, I'll try it...OK?" There was a big thicket of blackberry bushes behind a big cluster of trees. It looked like it was well-hidden. So I followed him to our clandestine meeting place. He was unbuckling his overalls as we went. By the time we stopped his bib had fallen below his waist and he turned grabbing his "pecker". He gave a little twitch with his butt and the overalls fell to the ground around his ankles. For a boy his age, he was pretty well endowed in the "pecker" department...circumcised, (another Southern tradition), and a nice little patch of blonde pubic hair. His body was slim, a little muscular, which comes from farm work...and beneath the bibbed jeans, his body was as white as a girl's. "Come on over and get closer, so you can see real good. I cain't do this but once't." I meandered over as if I was viewing some kind of art piece in a museum. He was all too ready to perform for me. "Now, you have to squeeze it, until it gets all the way up. See, like this...and once it's up, you start rubbin' it...all over and up and down...like this...It feels even better if you spit on your hand and git it wet...like this...I sometimes grab my balls with my other hand and hold them, while I rub...like this..." He was really giving me a seminar on the methods of pubescent discovery. Hell, I was just like him at that age...but. I would never have done what he was doing in front of a total stranger. Hell, I was still a teenager...I was human...watching him beat off like this had given me an erection too. I was still reluctant to participate. I was afraid if I did, I wasn't sure how far it would go...or better yet, how far TO go. "Oh...this feels so good..." he exclaimed, while he continued his motion. "You sure you ain't never done this?" "No, not really." I lied once, again. "Sometimes after I pee and shake myself off, I fell myself getting hard, but I soon stuff it back in my pants." "Come on, drop your jeans...and do what I'm doin'...You won't regret it." If I did, was I being unfaithful to Eddie? Masturbating with another teen? That wasn't adultery...but then...Eddie had to fuck Marie, occasionally, at night, while I had to listen next door. I was so mad at myself for getting in this predicament. I hadn't been away from Eddie but about 12 hours, and here I was ready to get naked with a boy, jerking off in the woods. I was worse than I thought. Shit! Who would know. I would never see this kid again, once I drove off in my truck...and it might calm me down just to "get off". But I better act like an amateur, and not let-on I knew anything about what he was showing me. "OK...I guess I can try it a bit." I said as I began to undo my belt. I unbuttoned my jeans and slid them just below my knees...still concealing my private parts with my white Fruit-of-the-Looms. He looked over at me... "See, you're already gettin' hard. I can see it beneath your shorts." Jesus, was I blushing? I couldn't believe it, but this kid had me on the ropes. "Yank 'em down and grab hold of yourself, like me!" Slowly I lowered my briefs and my cock sprang up like it had a spring in it. "Yours is bigger than mine...grab it and do what I'm doin'." I took hold of my shaft and I was more excited than I thought. If I weren't careful, I would shoot off and spoil his lesson plan. I didn't move my hand at all. I pretended I needed to observe him, some more. "Don't be shy...just do it..." I still was afraid to continue. I did not want to climax before he did. Finally he startled me as he came over close pulsating organ. "Heck, I ain't shy...let me have it...I'll show you..." He reached over and grabbed my cock. I felt like a bolt of lightning had just shot through my body. I had to think of something else...and quick...but what...shit...shit...shit...don't cum...don't cum...don't cum...and then it occurred to me to sing to myself. I couldn't think of the words to one goddamned song...Oh shit...don't cum...(I know) "Oh I come from Alabammy with my banjo on my knee..." I sang that song in my mind as loud as I could...it must've helped. I was able to hold off. He seemed to enjoy playing with my cock. I wondered how many times he had done this with other guys. Had I been duped...had he played a trick on me just to get into MY pants? Who was fooling whom? Which one of us was the naive one...him or me? If this little guy was queer, he had his routine down to a science. If he wasn't, he was the most forward little guy I had ever seen. Either way...I had nothing to lose...just an experience I would laugh about years from now. Would Eddie laugh, too? I can't think about him now...and risk guilt or yearning...Any way, he continued his teaching,. "Now, you see how this feels?...You reach over and grab mine and do everything I do...that way I can feel if you're doin' it right." Like a bride on her wedding night...I slowly reached for him as if I had never touched a penis before. I gave him a squeeze and started moving up and down as I, normally did to myself, every night. I gave him the "milking" treatment, as if I were milking a cow. "Hey, wow!...That feels great...you're gettin' the knack of this." He said excitedly. If he were that inexperienced and not just conning me, I knew that I had found enough varieties of jerking to bring him off quickly, and way before me. So I reached over with my other hand and massaged his scrotum and changed my jerking speed and pressure. He began to moan. I knew I was the victor, now. I had him at a disadvantage. His ball sac was shrinking and I knew it was Show Time for him. He had about fifteen seconds left before he was "there". I don't know why I did it...Maybe to show my mastery...to give him the thrill of his life...or put him in his place...because as I felt the first stream heading for the tip of his piss-slit, loudly I said to him... "Now let me show you something!!!..." I dropped to my knees and let him explode in my mouth. I still don't know why I did it. I just did. Maybe because his name was Hal. I let him gush his flow of "buttermilk" all over my tongue as I tightly closed my lips over him and gave him four or five long strokes, draining him of all the "white milky pee", as he called it. He was so astonished, I felt him get weak as his knees buckled under and he sank to the ground. The kid had all but stopped breathing as he writhed in wonderment. He lay back on the ground with his eyes closed as he breathing returned to normal. I was so entranced watching his glee, that I completely forgot about my need for orgasm. I pulled up my briefs and jeans, buttoned them, buckled my belt before he spoke. "You're a queer, ain't cha?" "No." "Then why did you do that to me?" "I just felt like it...and thought you might enjoy it." "That wasn't your first time, was it?" "No." "Then you lied to me." "In a way." He continued to lay on the ground looking up at the sky. "Judd?" "Yeah?" "I got somethin' to tell you..." "What?" "You wasn't the first to do that to me?" "Oh?...What do you mean?" "My little brother, Lyle, and I go down to the truck stop, where the truckers pull off and sleep, and we play with all the truckers peckers, and they play with ours, and we suck on each others, and they let us get off in their mouths. Sometimes, Lyle and I do it to each other, when Momma goes to bed. I lied when I said he didn't know about my Marilyn Monroe picture...he was the one who nailed it up on the cow stall. He's younger than me, but his pecker's bigger." "You're a little con artist aren't you?" "What's that?" "If you don't know, then I guess you aren't one." "You got dressed before you finished...Would you like to put your pecker in my mouth and get through?" "No, little buddy, I've been driving a long time without sleep and I'm really too tired. OK?" "OK...but I'm willin' if you wanna." "I know...thanks...how would you like a Coke and a Moon Pie or a potted meat sandwich before you go home?" "Naw, I gotta go get them fish cleaned, so's Momma can cook 'em for supper...HEY...would you like to come to my house for supper...Momma wouldn't mind. I got lots of fish... and you could meet Lyle. We got all kinds of extra beds. You could even spend the night and get a good night's sleep before you head off again...first thing in the morning. "You sure, she won't mind?" "Naw...Hey...we got a tub and runnin' water and everything... you could take a nice hot bath. How 'bout it?" "OK, put your cane and your fish in the back of the truck, and I'll drive you home." He was as excited as a kid at Christmas. I guess he missed his three older brothers...and his dad...hell, what am I saying, I'm only eighteen? Any way...a bed...a bath...a hot meal...and all on my first full night away from home. Was this as far as I would go. Had I reached my destination beyond that hill in Tennessee? <><><><><><><><><> His Momma was all too obliging. She even made hushpuppies to go with the fish. Lyle's eyes were popping out of his head, not knowing who this stranger was, that his brother had brought home like a lost puppy. He was cute, too. Didn't look too much like Hal. I always try to identify a person by some movie star they remind me of...So, to me, Lyle was a cross between Tommy Rettig and Brandon de Wilde. I bet the truckers fought over him. Still, I wasn't interested. I didn't like kids younger than me, sexually speaking. The four of us sat down at the long oak table, with so many empty chairs. The room was full of ghosts and memories that perhaps been filled with a large family, noisy, and bursting with love. Momma was prematurely grey, A beautiful picture of a "mom" who had survived so many losses, maintaining her aura of a strong, but caring woman. She said grace before the meal. She had no sooner said, "Amen", when Hal exclaimed... "Judd, I already talked it over with Momma and she said you could stay and sleep in Caleb and Adam's old room. You can stay several days if you like..." "Well, I don't know...thank you...let me think about it tonight, OK?" "You can help Lyle and me hoe around the peanuts tomorrow, if you wanna." "We'll see..maybe I could help out a little to pay for tonight's room and board." "Judd," Mrs. Spicer spoke, "you don't owe us anything for room and board. We're just glad to have the company." "Thanks, Mrs. Spicer." "Your welcome, and please call me, Dora". After dinner, I helped "Dora" with the clean-up. I washed while she dried and put the dishes away. She wanted to talk...something, she had apparently wanted to do for some time. She told me about her "boys" she had lost...her husband...and the little girl. She had hoped she had been "enough" raising Hal and Lyle on her own. She had wished they had had a male role model in their lives to teach them the do's and dont's of the world...alcohol, cigarettes, girls, marriage, manners, and money...guy things. I didn't want to add to her burdens by expounding on my griefs or the things that had changed my life. I painted a rosy picture of Momma and Dad...the farm...my pregnant sister and her husband (my lover) and how happy they were, together. I shaded my description of Marie, as being immature, and I thought with her in charge of the farm, and providing a home for Eddie would be a good chance for her to grow up. I told Dora, that's why I had decided to take a long overdue vacation...that I would probably return home in time to harvest the crops. Dora and her husband had one of the largest peanut farms in Arkansas...there weren't that many, as you don't usually think of Arkansas as being "peanut" country. She had two colored families that worked the land for her. She had tried created an interest in the crop for her two remaining sons...so the business would continue after she was "gone"...and they would be provided for. Hal and Lyle did the best they could...but at 15 and 13, it wasn't all that appealing to them. She told me she was a little tired and needed to go lie down. She showed me my room and I settled in for the night...dreaming of a hot bath and a long night's rest. She went to bed. I went to the bathroom and filled the tub. I took off my clothes and stepped into the hottest water I could stand...got use to the temperature...laid myself down to soak and rested my head on the back of the tub to mull over the past 24 hours. So much had happened...yet nothing...I closed my eyes and without a warning, a few tears strolled down my face. I missed my home...I missed Eddie. I lay there thinking and nearly cracked the back of my skull on the rim of the tub when I was disturbed in my reverie with a... "Hi." It was Lyle. He had slipped into the bathroom and stood with his back against the wall behind me. I hadn't even heard him enter. "Hi...Lyle...do you need something?" "No." "We hadn't had a chance to get to know each other and I just wanted to talk to you." "OK...give me a chance to finish bathing and I'll meet you in the living room and we can't talk 'til bed time." "OK". He started out the door and then turned back at me. "Want me to wash your back for you?" "Thanks...but, no, I can manage." He looked disappointed and once more started to exit. and turned back, "How about your hair?" "Pardon?" "Your hair...want me to wash your hair for you?...We got a new bottle of Fitch shampoo." Boy, did this kid seemed starved for attention...Male attention, any way...or was he a manipulator. as I had accused his older brother...I could see his disappointment and yet the eagerness of his wanting to be "friends"...I thought...why the heck not...let him wash your hair. "Well, I guess you could give me a shampoo and set." "What's a set?" "That's what they say at the beauty shop...shampoo and set...you know, set your hair...like in curlers or bobbypins." "You want me to put up your hair in curlers and bobbypins?" "No, Sport, it's just an expression...I was kidding you." "Oh." "OK, How about giving me a shampoo without the set?" "Sure." He ran over to the lavatory and looked at all the bottles until he found the red Fitch shampoo. Wasn't that for dandruff...did he think I had dandruff? "Hey, Momma's got a bottle of Halo, if you had rather I use that." "The Halo will do fine." "OK, how do you want to do it?" "Well, first get on all fours in the tub and put your head under the faucet, so I can get your hair wet." I didn't relish the idea of getting on my hands and knees with my naked, vulnerable, butt in the air...exhibiting all my private spots to a curious 13 year old future "hairdresser". I had been conned once, today, already by a Spicer teenager. "OK...you stand over there until I get my hair wet...then you can come over and pour the shampoo." I really didn't trust him. I was leery of ulterior motives. I knew he was eyeing my crotch and now he could get a few view of "Mars" with my ass in the air. I wet my hair, and turned around to once again, sit in the tub. placing spread-out wash clothe over my entire pube area, hiding myself from his view. His fingers were good washing my scalp only using his fingertips. He added some pressure to the back of my head, going down to the nape and began washing my neck with Halo. That felt good too...but what felt even better, was when he let his hands fall to my shoulders and he began to massage them. I didn't know how tense I was...driving all night and day...having had no sleep, yet. Between the heat of the water and his strong little hands, I was relaxing and breathing deeply. This felt wonderful. Now that he had proven his dexterity to me, he told me to lean forward...and suddenly there is where he asked to be in the first place...washing my back...kneading the back muscles as he went downward. He began a motion of long strokes from the back of my neck to the top of my buttocks...up and down...This was heaven. I would have dropped off asleep, just there if I hadn't been disturbed by another voice. "What's going on in here?" It was Hal sticking his head in the doorway. "I'm giving Judd a shampoo and set?" "What's a set?" "Nevermind...just get over here and help me relax him. His neck has a thousand knots in it." "Whaddya want me to do?" I interrupted their dialogue with..."Wait a minute, don't I get a say-so in this?" "Nope...the Spicer brothers are gonna make you feel like a million dollars...so just lay back, close your eyes, and enjoy." I obliged. I lay back with my eyes closed and felt two hands massaging my neck and shoulders, while two new hands had joined the activity by soaping my chest. arms, and underarms. I flinched, being ticklish, and the fact no one had ever bathed me under the arms, I guess since Momma had, when I was a baby. Come to think of it, no one had bathed any part of me since then...not my brother, Hal...not Eddie. It's funny...but Eddie and I had swum naked together, but we had never bathed together I had become so relaxed, I wasn't even aware that Hal had stopped long enough to take off his overalls and climbed in the tub with me sitting on top of the wash cloth that was protecting my crotch. "Hey, what's going on?" I asked. "Shut up and relax?" "How can I relax with you, naked sitting on my 'pecker'?" That wasn't the worst of it. Lyle had removed his clothes and was trying to enter the tub from behind me. straddling my hips with his legs. I was a "Judd sandwich" wedged between the two naked Spicer brothers. "Hey, guys, come on...this tub is not big enough for three!" "We're all in it, ain't we?" "What if your Momma hears us and comes in?" "She was sound asleep when I passed by her door. She would never come in on Lyle or me if we were taking a bath." "Do you guys bathe together, a lot?" "Sometimes." "And she doesn't know?" "I'm sure she does. but she would be to embarrassed to mention it to us." "Damn!" I said. "Watch your language. Momma raised us not to cuss." They could go to truck stops. give and receive blowjobs...bathe together...but saying "Damn" was taboo. Southern families sure have some strange rules. "Hey Judd...You know somethin'?" "What?" "I think your pecker is hard, I feel it underneath me." "Well what do you expect with your naked butt sitting on it? I think I feel something hard near MY bottom." "Lyle, did you get hard, too?" "Couldn't help it, when it got next to Judd's butt." I wanted to jump out of the tub, grab my clothes and run for safety. I had never encountered anything like this in my life...and I didn't know what to do...on the other hand, I wanted to stay there and see just how far they would go. I opted for the latter. Hal snatched away the washcloth and began to lower his anal opening on my rising pole. Did they do this at the truck stop, too? At the same time, Lyle was raising up my rear end and I felt him entering me from behind. "Have you two, maniacs done this to someone, before...your brothers, maybe?" "Nope, just to each other...We discussed doin' this while you and Momma were washing dishes." "So I'm the victim of a plot?" "Yeah, you like it?" "You guys are crazy?" "No, but we do know how to have a good time. Momma said for us to make you feel at home, and you might stay a few days." "If I'm alive...and if I survive this." They both laughed. This was new and exciting...fucking and getting fucked at the same time. Damn...if I got caught having man sex with two boys, I would spend the rest of my life in the Little Rock prison (if there was one)...after they had castrated, tarred, and feathered me. They began a rocking motion that allowed Lyle to get stimulation the same time I was receiving mine. I felt sorta guilty that nothing was happening to Hal's cock, so I grabbed it with one hand and his balls with the other and let him feel as good as Lyle and I were. We kept this up, for about ten minutes or at least until the water started cooling off...and then, as if we had been conducted by a baton, the three of us came at the same time...me in Hal...Lyle in me...and Hal in my hand. And again, as if on queue, we all said, "Whew." Hal looked at me and said..."You sure you wanna leave tomorrow?" "I may have to...you guys would kill me if stayed here a long time." "Would it help you make up your mind if I told you that Lyle and I wish you would stay and be our big brother?" "Now don't go putting a guilt trip on me." "Really," Lyle interjected, "Judd, would you think about staying on with us?" "You told me you didn't know where you were goin'...Maybe you were goin' here, all the time and didn't know it..." Maybe he was right...I didn't know where I was going...the only thing I knew for sure, was that I had to rinse that goddamned Halo shampoo out of my hair.