Please do not repost without credit. Feedback would be greatly appreciated before i submit further installments and suggestions are welcome. you can contact me at chillandmasculine@gmail.com. Please consider all characters in this story as being portrayed by legal age actors. The chapter headings may be confusing, the number is the age of the protagonist not the chapter number. As always please consider donating to nifty to keep this unique platform for sharing stories going. - George Q.

15 - part I

I don’t remember anything about the day leading up to it- some things get lost in the big moments in your life. I remember everything of my last moments with Brian though, I’ve played them over and over so often I couldn’t forget if I wanted to.

His mom’s car rolled up. I came outside to see who it was, we didn’t get many visitors on the orchard and Brian would always walk over. My dad came out the same time I did. The car peeled in and skidded to an abrupt stop. Kicking up a huge cloud of dirt.

“Ray!” Victoria screamed as she got out of her red accord. My dad looked confused and worried, Brian’s mom was shaking.

Brian stepped out of the passenger seat and I walked up to him, Mac crawled out of the back seat and followed Brian out of the car. Brian had clearly been crying, his eyes were red and swollen.

“What’s going on man?” I asked. He only shook his head and choked on the words.

I only heard the first slap. I turned and saw Victoria pause before she hit my dad again.

“Your own son Ray! He’s your son!”

My dad didn’t say anything. Didn’t raise a hand to protect himself as she slapped him twice more. She started crying and he held her. His eyes were dead, like when he first felt me up in the truck. Like when he was first fucking around with me in bed when I turned thirteen.

I remember distinctly thinking he was disassociating. I didn’t know where I’d learned that word.

“Did you tell her?” I asked Brian.

“I told her I didn’t want to leave. I told her.” Brian started crying openly.

Victoria and my dad started speaking quickly and quietly. His eyes were still unfocused as he frantically spoke to her, his arms on her shoulders. I couldn’t make out what they were saying.

“What’s going on man?” I asked Brian, holding him.

“She found out what your dad was doing. I didn’t tell her that he was doing it to you too man, I promise. She says we’re moving in with my aunt.”

I felt a massive dread and pushed it down. His aunt lived in Nebraska. That was far enough that I wouldn’t see him again for a long time.

“We’ll visit man. I’ll come out to see you every summer.” I knew even then that wasn’t true.

“I’m sorry Tom.” Brian collected himself as much as he could, “She told me he’s my dad. I started freaking out when she told me and the rest just came out.”

He shook his head and I held him tighter.

“It’s okay. It’s okay.” I murmured.

I felt victoria’s hand on my shoulder and I pulled myself away from Brian.

“I’m so sorry honey,” She said, “I’d take you with us if I could. I can’t have him here anymore, I-”

“It’s okay.” I said, firmly. “Get him out of here.”

I didn’t feel anything, not really. I was angry, sad, worried, confused, but they were all buried deep beneath a complete certainty in what his mom was doing.

She gave me a long, pained look and kissed me on the forehead. She walked around the car and got into the driver’s seat.

“Come on honey, it’s time to go.”

Brian just shook his head.

“Go Brian. We’ll find a way to get a hold of each other. It’ll be okay.”

We hugged each other one last time, tightly. I started to let him go and then re-tightened my grip. How could I let him go? We were survivors together. I’d never held him before with the idea in my head that it might be the last time.

“You can get out man. Go. Someday I’ll be able to leave-”

“Brian baby please, we have to go” His mother interrupted, her voice was still strained, she was fighting back crying.

I consciously let him go. I nodded at him and he got in the car. Mac tried to follow him in the car but Brian pushed him away.

“You’ll take care of him?” Brian said, his voice suddenly steady.

I nodded, not even wondering why they couldn’t take him.

As she pulled out Mac started to chase the Accord. I ran him down and grabbed him by the collar. It all started to hit me. He was really leaving.

“I love you man!” I yelled, “I love you Brian!”

But I didn’t hear a response. The car got smaller and smaller. I knelt down and rubbed Mac’s furry chest as he meweld. When the last of the dust cloud they kicked up driving away settled I came inside.

My dad was on the couch, a bottle of jack was on the coffee table. I walked up and took a long swig of it. Setting it back down on the table I turned to my dad. He was quiet, defeated, not looking at me.

“Is Brian your son?” I asked. He nodded, still not looking at me.

I understood now, why he and his mom lived on the orchard without paying rent. Why my dad and his mom always had such a strained relationship.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I asked, and he didn’t respond.

“He’s gone because of you. Because you had to go around and fuck your sons. Did you think you could just do that? Did you think nothing was gonna happen if you did that? Dad? Dad answer me! Fucking answer me Ray!”

He seemed to come to enough to look at me finally. I saw pain in his eyes too. I couldn’t feel sorry for him right now but a small pang hit me, it was too much.

“I fucking hate you! I hate you! You’re supposed to be my dad, you’re supposed to protect me!”

I was so angry I couldn’t feel my teeth. I thought I might black out. I imagined grabbing him by his hair and slamming his face into the corner of the coffee table. I wanted him to hurt like he’d hurt all of us. I wanted to destroy him.

Instead I took another drink of the Jack. I put it on the table. I wanted to talk to my dad. Ask him why he never told me that Brian and I were half brothers, ask him who my mom was and demand a straight answer to that one. Instead I walked away and went upstairs to my room.

I layed in my bed for a while. Brian was gone. It was all I could think the words were so loud in my head.

I love you Brian, I thought, I love you and I always will, more than anything, more than anyone, as long as I live, I love you and I’ll find my way back to you again, I love you, I love you and you’re gone.

When I finally cried I wouldn’t stop completely till the sun went down.

I woke up the next morning with a clear head. I was a different person than the morning before, I was a different man.

My performance in school dropped dramatically. The teachers for their part tried to help. The sudden disappearance of Brian didn’t go unnoticed and they figured correctly that I was down about that. I also had simply lost interest. I never had a plan before, but had always figured collage was on the table. I wasn’t confident I could get a full scholarship though and dealing with my dad a day after I was eighteen wasn’t an option. I had a plan to get out and back to Brian and I didn’t need good grades for it.

I started hanging around with the stoners, even though I didn’t smoke. Through them I met the kid we all called Skinhead Craig. He wasn’t much of a racist and certainly wasn’t a skinhead but he was buzzed blonde and dressed like a punk.

We’d all hang out at the park across from the movie theater in town. Over a few months I started to gather that his dad beat him. Not wanting to go into detail I confided in him that my dad had abused me too and that was why Brian left. We started hanging out more and more.

One late afternoon at the park we were laying around talking and I leaned on him, my head essentially on his lap. He put his hand on my chest. He wasn’t Brian, but feeling his touch was something special. I felt safe in a small way for the first time since Brian left.

I came home that night, about two weeks before my birthday, to find a Chevrolet Camero in the drive way. I wondered whose it was at the same time as I hoped it was for me.

“Whose car is that?” I asked my dad as I came in, dropping my backpack by the door.

“Guess” He said, not being able to hide his excitement.

I stood in silence for a moment.

“No way. Ray did you get me a fucking car?”

He pulled out the keys from his pocket and held them out with a smile.

“It’s a couple weeks till you can drive it but I thought I’d give it to you now so you could practice.”

“We’ll lets go!” I said grabbing the keys out of his hands. “How much is it like the dune buggy?”

“It’s automatic,” he said, “and honestly probably a lot easier to drive.”

We drove for hours. I realized my dad was trying to win back my affection and in a way it worked. I still hadn’t forgiven him but I was stoked about the car. Having to set up for him to pick me up after school every day was a drag and the promise of freedom was one of the best things he could have offered me.

A few weeks after Brian left I started to fuck my dad again but I hadn’t offered to blow him or anything like that. If I needed to get fucked or suck a cock, I still had Mac. And that made me feel closer to Brian than my dad ever could have. But when we got home and sat on the couch I thought that I could make an exception to my unspoken punishment.

“You want me to thank you for the car?” I asked my dad as I reached over and grabbed his crotch. His cock immediately started to respond.

I pulled out his cock and stroked him. He let his head hang back and let out a soft moan.

Feeling an uncut dick in my hand stirred something in me too and I got hard. Looking at his piece I wondered at how I didn’t realize Brian was his son too sooner. All three of our cocks were almost exactly the same, besides some variation in size. I leaned down and began to blow him. His cock tasted just like I remembered, not particularly clean. His musky smell had my own cock leaking. I’d missed this.

He came in under a minute. I wonder if he thought he’d ever get that from me again.

I turned him over after he finished and fucked him there on the couch, once I unloaded I pulled out.

“I’m gonna have a friend over on my birthday. His name is craig. I’m taking a shower now. Thanks again dad.”

The word felt strange being said by me again. I’d made a point to call him Ray since Brian left. I berated myself mentally for the slip us and promised myself I wouldn’t give him that much again.