Date: Mon, 25 Nov 2002 22:48:03 -0800 From: JS Collection Subject: Like a Promised Sunrise THIS STORY IS TOTALLY FICTITIOUS. IT CONTAINS DESCRIPTIVE SEX BETWEEN TWO MEN. IF THIS IS OFFENSIVE TO YOU DON'T READ IT. IF IT IS ILLEGAL FOR YOU TO BE READING IT, YOU SHOULDN'T BE HERE TO BEGIN WITH SO JUST GO ELSEWHERE. OTHERWISE, ENJOY IT. JWS P.S. MOST OF MY WRITING HAS SOME SEX IN IT. IT IS SELDOM IN THE BEGINNING AND IS USUALLY AN INTEGRAL PART OF THE STORY. SO IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR JACKOFF MATERIAL YOU ARE PROBABLY WASTING YOUR TIME READING ME. JWS Like a Promised Sunrise (PART 5) by J.W.SMITH Eight days after kicking Judd and Annie out, the street buzzer sounded. I shuffled over to the intercom and ask who was buzzing. In answer I got a continuous buzz, out of desparation I hit the release for the gate. I heard the lift coming up. I rolled open the door and leaned on the jam. The telephone rang. I ignored it. I heard the answering machine pick up. I was expecting to see Judd, I think. And I was shocked to see Annie and Lee step out of the lift. Annie looked at me. "You look like someone chewed you up and digested you." Lee, who is six foot tall and more manly than me, agreed. "Yeah, you look like shit and you smell like it, too. Damn Jace, when did you last shower?" "I wasn't exactly expecting company." I said as I shrugged, stepped aside and motioned for them to enter. Liz walked up to Annie and curled around her legs, caressing her with her head. She picked her up and held her on her shoulder. There was a clear loud message there, but I ignored it. "Thank you, ladies. Why are you here?" I wasn't being friendly. "Where is Judd?" "How should I know? I kicked him out remember?" "You're kidding. You haven't seen or heard from him?" "No. I assumed he would go straight to you." "You are about the stupidest man I've ever met. I'm A Dyke, A Lesbian. I have a Girl Friend. Get It? I haven't seen or heard from him either." I stared blankly at her. She glanced at the answering machine on my desk. The red light was blinking. "When was the last time you answered you phone?" "Not since he left." She punched the play back button. First message was Judd. "Damn, Jace I wish you would answer the phone. Don't you understand? Annie's like a little sister to me. God, I would never think of having sex with her. I'll call you back later." There were many beeps from the machine indicating calls with no messages. There were quite a few messages from other people that Annie fast-forwarded, searching for more from Judd. And then a message recorded as I had waited for Annie and Lee. "Jace, I feel like I'm going to die. I'm seeing black spots. I only got one bottle left. I just want to tell you one last time that I'm sorry for making you mad at me, I love you." His speech was very slurred. There were pauses like he was having difficult thinking. And the there was a long pause. We could hear him weeping. And then. "Bye, Jace." I was devastated. I began to realize what I had done in my jealous rage. I was shaking. My eyes felt like hollow pits. "I've got to go find him." I whispered. "Did he say where he was going when he left?" She asked. "He left a note." I was on my knees in the kitchen scurrying around looking for it. I hadn't done any housekeeping so it still had to be there. I found it, smoothed it out and handed it to her. She called information and then the motel. Yes, he was still registered there. Did we know him? Would we, please, come get him? "Where are your damn car keys?" Annie asked when she hung up. I handed them to her. She motioned for Lee to bring me along and headed to the lift. When we got to the Jeep she pushed me into the back seat and got behind the wheel. Annie climbed into the passenger seat, handing Lee the keys. As we flew down the 10, Annie turned and started telling me off. "If I were a man I'd beat some sense into you. I've never seen anyone so much in love as Judd is with you. You are one sick fucker to do this to him." All I could do was hang my head and agree with her. When we arrived at the motel Annie ran in and got the key to his room. The desk clerk informed her that he hadn't let any one in to clean since he had check in. The only thing he had observed him taking into the room with him was a liquor box. He speculated that it was filled with bottles of booze. We pulled in to the back of the complex and Annie and Lee ran up the stairs to his room. I followed. They left the door open as they went in. The stench made me gag before I got to the door; booze and vomit are not pleasant. Judd was lying in a puddle of vomit and spilled whiskey, hugging an empty bottle. At least, we wouldn't have to make him puke. He was on his side with his knees pulled up to his chest; His head was resting on the base of the toilet bowl. Annie opened the blinds and windows. Lee took the bottle from his hands and lifted him up. Holding him under his arms from the back she ordered me to strip him. She headed toward the shower with him. I came to my senses somewhat, and stopped her. "Let me. I caused this mess. Let me clean him up." I kicked off my shoes and took him into the shower. My guilt overwhelmed me. I bathed him crying the whole time. I am such an ass to have done this to this wonderful young man. I wondered if he would ever forgive me. Annie threw a blanket around him, and we headed for the Jeep. We took him to the UCLA Medical Center hospital. It was faster than waiting for and ambulance. He was admitted immediately into their detox ward. We were told there was nothing we could do for at least two days. I looked through the window at him. He was strapped down with tubes in his mouth and arms. God, that it was me laying there instead of him. Please, God, I prayed, let him be able to forgive me for driving him to this. My wet clothes were beginning to dry, only to make me feel more miserable.We went back to the motel. I went into the office and settled up his bill, and left an extra hundred for cleaning the room. Lee drove me back to the loft. Annie drove his pickup. I invited them up for a cup of coffee. Annie scrambled some eggs and toasted some bread. I still didn't feel like eating. Lee told me she would force feed it to me if I didn't eat it. I ate it; I hate to be force-fed. It certainly didn't taste like Judd's eggs. I started crying again.I asked Annie to forgive me for being a jealous ass and making stupid accusations. "That depends totally on Judd. Maybe he can forgive you. If he does, then I will. You certainly don't deserve it." She told me. I could only agree. Through all of this Lee had held her tongue. When they left, I showered, shaved and put on clean clothes. I washed the dishes that had piled up in the sink for the last two weeks. I cleaned the entire house and did the laundry. When I finished I sat down and let the emptiness of my soul fill the place. I wanted to impress indelibly in my sick mind what this felt like, while I recalled what Judd's presence had felt like, too. The rest of the day passed without me being aware of its passing. The place was getting dark. My bladder brought me back to the real world. After relieving myself. I wandered heedlessly around the room. I wanted to cry and feel sorry for myself, but the despicable act I had committed out of stupid jealousy kept the tears away. I picked up one of his textbooks. A small sheet of paper fell to the floor. I picked it up and read it. It was a poem Judd had written to me. It was dated the day before I had kicked him out. 12/3/92 Jace Like a promised sunrise You ascend into my day The brightness of your eyes Lights up my world With you, I'm where I belong Protected in your arms I have never felt so strong Judd When I read it all I could think was that I had taken his strength from him. Would he survive if that was how he really felt? I went back to the hospital. I begged the nurse to let me just sit with him. I looked so miserable that she relented figuring it might be beneficial to me. I moved a straight chair next to the bed and held his hand. I must have fallen asleep. The next thing I knew there was a gentle hand shaking my shoulder. The day was brightening outside. I must have slept the whole night. That was the first time since I had forced Judd out. "Mr. Deason, Judd is going to be in a coma for at least another day. Why don't you go home and get some breakfast and clean up? I'll call you personally if there is any change." Later that morning, I went back to the hospital. The doctor was just coming out of his room. "Good morning, Doctor, I'm Judd Deason's Uncle. How is he doing?" "Mr. Deason, we have young people come in here from alcohol abuse all the time. I'm amazed that he is even alive. We've got most of the alcohol out of his system now. He will be having withdrawals soon. If we can get him through that, then we will see how he's going to fair. There is often brain and neural as well as liver damage from such extreme abuse. We simply won't know until he is completely dry and awake. Pray, Mr. Deason. Pray." He turned and walked into the next room leaving me to deal with what he had just told me. I went into Judd's room. He looked dead. The monitor above the bed said differently. It gave out a steady beep in time with his heart. I knelt and held his hand to my cheek. "Judd, I don't know if you can hear me. I want you to know that I am so sorry. I love you, Judd. Please come back to me. I love you so much." I don't know how to pray. I've never been in a church. I grew up on a ranch. It was too far to go into town just to go to church. Mom had a bible, but I never saw her reading it. My dad sure didn't. I figured I would just talk to Him, if He was even around to listen. "God, you made Judd the way he is. I can't see how you would punish him because of that. What he's done was stupid, but it was my fault he did it. So if You are hearing this, I'm asking You to not punish him for this. If You feel the need to punish someone, punish me. I sat beside his bed until Noon. I hadn't eaten since yesterday. My stomach was beginning to protest so I went down to the cafeteria and bought a sandwich and a carton of milk. I forced it down. When I got back up to his room Annie and Lee were sitting in the waiting room. Lee was patting her hand consoling her. I went in and folded into a chair. "Have you talked to the doctor?" Annie asked. I buried my face in my hands and shook an affirmative. "And?" "It doesn't look good." "You son of a bitch, tell her what the doctor said." Lee had no compassion for me. But then I deserved none. "He will be going into withdrawals soon. It may involve convulsions. If and when he does wake up he may have neurological and or brain damage. He definitely has liver damage but that will repair its self." I was speaking to the floor. There was total silence for a few minutes. "You fucking uncaring bastard. I think I could easily kill you with my bare hands. God! To think how much he loves you and you and your stupid jealousy do this to him. God damn you, Jace Deason. God damn you." Annie was standing over me. With each explicative she hit me with her fist on the side of my head. I let her. If she had taken a cat-o nine-tails to me, I wouldn't have flinched. I deserved any kind of punishment that could be dealt to me. No, I wasn't feeling sorry for myself. I hated what I had done and I wished to be punished for it. Lee gathered Annie into her arms, caressing her back, soothing her. "Leave him alone. He's paying for it. Come on, let me take you home." Annie allowed herself to be led away. At the door she turned back. "You call me if there's any change. Please." They left. I dragged myself back into his room and sat holding his hand, talking quietly to him. He lay like a dead man, not moving a muscle. And then without warning he started convulsing. He was strapped down so there was no possibility of him falling off the bed, or tearing the tubes out of his arms. I hit the panic button and ran to the door yelling for help. It came fast, two doctors and three nurses were immediately there. One of the nurses ushered me out of the room and told me to go sit down. I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket, and dialed Annie. When she answered, I told her the convulsions had started. There was a sob and then a click as she hung up on me. I don't know how long I sat there, on the edge of the chair, my head in my hands. A hand on my shoulder brought me back from where ever my mind had fled to. I looked up. It was the doctor. He smiled. My heart did a flip. Was there hope? "Mr. Deason, the convulsions were very mild. Our new medications do the job well. With any luck he should come around tomorrow." He said. He took my jaw in his hand and turned my head, looking at the bruises Annie had dealt me. "An ice pack on those will make them feel better. I'll tell a nurse." I nodded, and buried my head again. After I got my emotions under control I went back into his room. Even with the drugs they had given him I could see a difference in his demeanor. He was beginning to look alive. The eye movement under his lids was very active. He was breathing more deeply, too. He looked like he was just sleeping and that he would soon wake up. A nurse brought me an ice pack and a couple of Tylenol. I thanked her and laid them on the table. I sat and held his hand talking to him until 11 pm. The nurse insisted I go home and get some rest. She promised she would call if there was any change. I didn't want to go, but I followed her advice. After showering, I lay down and passed out. The phone woke me. "Jace, good morning, am I too late to speak to my son? I know he leaves some mornings for school at some ungodly hour." "Betty?" "Yes, did I wake you?" "Oh God, Betty, I forgot to call you." "What's wrong, Jace. Why were you going to call me?" "Judd's---" My voice quit working. I was gulping air like a fish out of water. "Jace, what's wrong with Judd. Talk to me." She yelled. "Bob, Bob something is wrong with Judd. Get on the phone, maybe you can get Jace to talk." "Jace, this is Bob. What's wrong with Judd?" "He's---he's--- in--- a coma." Once I got that out the rest came more easily. I told them honestly what had happened. They asked concerned questions about his condition, but here was no condemnation. "I'll call you back in half an hour." Bob said. I fed the cats, made coffee, showered and dressed. I still had fifteen minutes. I toasted a bagel, spread some cream cheese on it and took a bite. The phone rang. I spit the bite out and answered it. It was Bob. "Jace, I will be arriving at LAX at 3:47 this afternoon. Southwestern Flight 834. Please, meet me." "I'll be there." "Good. See you." I went back to the hospital and sat with Judd until 3:00. I got on the 405 headed to the airport. I had forgotten about the hideous traffic from the 10 to Sepulveda. I crept along with it to Howard Hughes Blvd. I turned off and went streets. I arrived late. Bob was standing on the curb with his bags. I pulled up to him and apologized, blaming L.A. traffic.We were back on the 405 North before Bob spoke. "So what is his condition at this time." "The doctor seems to think it is very promising. He has responded well to the medications. His brain activity has increased dramatically. They expect him to regain consciousness momentarily." "Hmm." He stared straight ahead for a couple of minute. I kept glancing at him, waiting for recriminations. Finally he turned and looked at me. "You look like something the dogs dragged in and chewed on for a few days. You doing okay?" He drawled. "I'm holding it together for the moment." "Jealousy is a nasty thing, isn't it?" "I'm going into therapy as soon as Judd gets back on his feet." I said. There was another long pause. "That boy has worshiped you as long as I can remember. He became very introverted for a while after you left home. When he started high School he began to talk about how he was going to be a famous writer just like his Uncle Jace. You think he's going to be all right?" "Dear God, I pray so. I will never forgive myself for what I've done. If he's not all right--- I don't know how I will be able to handle it." "You'll have to. He loves you, Jace. So you will just have to handle what ever happens as best you can." "I'm not worthy of his love." "So you're going to have to strive to be. Won't you?" This is the most that Bob and I had ever talk. He reminded me of Dad, but he was kinder and gentler. We went straight up to Judd's room when we got to the hospital. The doctor was sitting in the nurse's station doing paper work. Bob went over to him. "I'm Judd's father, Doc, what is your prognosis?" He asked. The doctor looked up at him and then at me. "Yes. It is amazing how much you three resemble each other. We're thinking Judd's going to come through this pretty well. We're hoping there is no motor damage. I personally think that he won't have any brain dysfunction. It's up to him at this point. He may be fighting to not wake up. Personally, I think the best thing for him now is for you two to talk to him. Coach him to wake up." He looked at me. "From what I understand you should be in there, telling him how you feel about him. That may be the key to bringing him out of this coma. Go give it a try." We went into his room. He looked healthier than even earlier in the day. Less pallor. There was some color back in his cheeks. Bob ran his hand through his hair, and caressed his check. "Hello, Son, don't you think its time to wake up? You've been sleeping a long time. Judd, wake up and say hi to your ol' dad." The rapid eye movement stopped. His breathing sped up a bit. But still he didn't open his eyes. Bob looked at me and motioned for me to talk to him.I sat down beside him on the bed and took his hand in mine. I looked at Bob, and he nodded his head. I leaned forward and kiss Judd on his lips. I lay my head against his and spoke softly to him. "Judd, come back to me. I love you. I need you with me. I've been a total fool. Please, Judd. I need you to forgive me. I love you, Judd. I'm so sorry for what I've done to you. Please forgive me. Come back to me, Judd." I sat up. A single tear welled in each eye and rolled down the sides of his face. But still he wouldn't open his eyes. I sat and watched him. His breath became shallow again. The R.E.M.s resumed after a few minutes. And there still more! Note: The effects of alcohol and the whole hospital scene are what I imagine they would be. If the real life facts don't match--- Well that is fantasy for you. You may flame me or what ever at js.collection@verizon.net