Date: Wed, 14 Aug 2002 10:52:32 EDT
From: Yakovl@aol.com
Subject: Me and My Son Pt 3

PT 3.1

Thanks to everyone for all your positive encouragement.  This story is hard
to write as I have to dig deep into my memory, and it's very emotional.

The week was going by really quick.  It seemed that Jake had just arrived,
and yet he was scheduled to leave in just two days.  The day had finally
arrived, his 16th Birthday.

The weather was sunny and dry.  We did a lot of fun stuff the past few
days.  I had so much fun showing him around the city.  I took him to see
the Yankees.  We saw the latest summer blockbusters, and ate all the
"coolest" restaurants.  He told me he wanted to learn how to roller blade,
so I bought him blades and we went roller blading all over the city.  I
took him shopping for clothes.  It gave me such pleasure to buy him
stuff. He told me how "cool" it was that he could pick out anything he
wanted.

 I guess I took for granted the freedom I had.  I was able to do what I
wanted when I wanted.  When I was his age, my parents were never around
very much, so I basically took care of myself.  They did provide me with
plenty of money though.  I was a sensible young adult, and didn't take
advantage of anything or anyone.

Jake was still very reserved about personal stuff.  I was yet to have "THE"
talk with him.  I really didn't know how to approach it.  Even though he
was really starting to loosen up with me, I sensed there was more he wanted
to tell me.  Or maybe he wanted to ask me some questions.

While Jake was there I went to the gym every morning before he woke up.  He
knew where I was and if he needed me I told him to call my cell phone.  I
was usually home by 9 am, and he was just getting up I told him he could
come with me any time, but he always declined.  I sensed he really wanted
to, but was scared.  He was always asking me questions about the weights
and the machines.  Do I use machines or free weights?  How much cardio do I
do every week, how much weight do lift?  Do I take vitamins, how much
protein do I consume a day...etc....Do I want to be a body builder, are
there body builders there?  Are there kids his age there etc...?

He seemed really fascinated with the life at the gym.  I again asked him to
come with me and he said no, I pushed him and told him that his questioned
would be answered if he would go and that he should try it.

He got mad and said "NO!"  I wanted to know why he wouldn't go because he
seemed so interested.  I told him that all he had to do is try it once, and
that I would be right next to him to help and guide him.

He turned to me and really loudly said "NO!"

He then became really quiet.  I didn't understand where this was coming
from, so, I let it go.  I wanted him to have a good day so I didn't push it
any further.  He was sullen and distant for the rest of the day. I asked
where he what he wanted to do for dinner.

He was busy watching TV and appeared to be absorbed, but was probably
ignoring me.

He didn't respond, and I asked him again "Buddy, what do you want to do for
dinner tonight?"

He replied a quiet "Whatever, I don't care"

 I asked him to please turn off the TV so we could talk.  I asked him what
was wrong and he said nothing.

I told him he seemed mad at me and that if I said something to make him
upset I was sorry.  I also told him I couldn't help him if I didn't know
what was bothering him.

He looked at me with very sad eyes and said I was always pushing him to
workout, and that he didn't want to work out

I pointed out that it was him that it was HIM who was asking questions
about the gym, and about working out. And that I was merely trying to
satisfy his curiosity.

He said "Sorry, but I can't do it. I want to, but I can't"

And I told him he didn't have to. But I wasn't going to let it go.

I said, "Jake, something is bothering you and you really should tell me
what it is.  But it's your birthday and come on, let's go celebrate OK?"

There was a really cool pace down the street where the wait staff brought
you a cake and sang to you.  Jake was really embarrassed but I think he
loved the attention. I was on my second beer when he asked if he could have
a sip.  I asked him if he ever drank alcohol, and he said just a few times
when one of his Aunts let him try a wine cooler or a "girly" drink.  He
told me he wanted to drink beer like the guys at school.  I told him he was
only 16, and wasn't allowed to drink legally until he was 21, but to go
ahead and give it a try.

And try it he did. He took my mug and gulped half of it down.  He let out a
sigh and said, "Wow that was `AWESOME'".  He told me that he noticed some
beers in my fridge at home and asked if he could have one tonight.

 I looked at him and laughed and said, "If that's what you want, one beer
will be cool."



Jake seemed better but something was still bothering him.  I had to know
what it was.  I was really nervous about pushing. I didn't want to push him
away, especially now as were getting closer.  I felt that I was really
making progress with him, that we were really connecting.  But there was
still something that wasn't right.


When we got back to the condo, I went to my room and changed into a tank
and pair of shorts.  I was barefoot as usual.  I told Jake I had some
paperwork to take care of, and that if he wanted to he could come into my
room and watch TV until I was done.  He told me he was going to change and
would be in soon.

About 20 minutes later, I heard a quiet knock on the door, and Jake was
standing there, wearing a pair of sweats, a T-shirt and white socks,
looking really nervous.

 I said "Hey buddy what's up.?"

He said," Can I have something that beer now?"

I said, "OK, but only because it's your birthday, and the deal is, you have
to drink it with me.  OK?"

When he came back from the kitchen holding two beers, he was all smiles
again.  I asked him why he was smiling, and he said he knew I would let
him.  I told him that he is underage, and that no one will know this,
especially his mother.  I told him that probably the only reason I was
allowing it was because I had already had a few beers at dinner and was
kind of buzzed anyway.

I told him to turn the TV on if he wanted while I finished up my work.  I
watched him out of the corner of my eye.  He was watching me also.  I
looked up and smiled at him, He turned red, and smiled back, and continued
to drink.

Before I knew it he was done with his beer.  He got up and went to the
bathroom to pee.  I heard the flush, and then him in the kitchen again.

He came back and asked if he could have another.

I asked him if he felt buzzed by the beer, he said "Kind of, and I like
it!"  He was all smiles.  To be honest, it was great to see him happy
again.  Against my better judgment, I told him to go for it.

Again he handed me another beer.  He appeared to be buzzed.  You could tell
by the way he was giggling and smiling, and laughing loud at the TV.

I asked him if he was ok and he lifted his bottle of beer to me in a mock
toast and practically yelled" YEAH, LET'S GET WASTED!"

 I brought my bottle to his, and said, "To my handsome son on his 16th
birthday, and to him getting drunk and NOT puking all over my room."  He
thought that was the funniest thing.

I downed most of my beer it in one gulp.  Jake copied me.  .  When he was
done, he looked at me for approval. We gave each other a high five.

Knowing that we were out of beer (which was a good thing) he asked, "Now
what"?

I answered, with "Got to piss, be right back!"

While in the bathroom...I wondered if I did the right thing about letting
have some beer.  He seemed fine.  He was looser and more relaxed.  I was
actually pretty "buzzed" myself.

I returned to my bedroom and found him lying back with his eyes closed. He
had gotten really tanned these past few days, and really looked different
from the shy kid I picked up at the airport.

He had his arms behind his head, I saw a little bit of hair creeping out
from under his arms, and his T-Shirt had come away from his sweats exposing
some skin.  I saw what we call a "treasure trail."  I was in awe of my son.
I suppose it was just then that it REALLY hit me.  Jake was a man.  He
looked so damn handsome. I wanted this moment to last forever; I wanted
time to stand still.

He must have seen me standing there, He became startled, he jumped up and
quietly asked, "What's wrong, why are you looking at me?"

I said, "Hey, relax its OK I was just looking at you.  You are so handsome.

He replied, "You always seem to be looking at me and smiling, why do you do
that?"

I said, "Jake, I look at you because I love you.  I lost a lot of time with
you, and when you walked off of that plane, I was amazed that such a
handsome man like you could belong to me.  I have to keep reminding myself
that you are mine.  I have had such an "AWESOME" time with you; I am really
going to miss you."

He said, "Me too, you have no idea how much fun I am having.  You are the
coolest guy; I am so glad that I came."

While we were talking I had lain down on my bed, and Jake was sitting on
the other end.  He asked if he could lie on the bed for awhile because he
was kind of dizzy.  I called him a lightweight, and scooted over for him.

It was now pretty late and I was still kind of drunk. (Talk about a
lightweight huh?)  I was sure Jake was feeling pretty good himself. I asked
him what he wanted to do for the rest of his birthday night.

He said "Nothing really, I like doing nothing once in awhile.

I said, "Me too.  Do you just want to talk?"

He said, "Yeah that would be cool, Mom never really talks to me the way you
do.

I asked him what he meant, and he told me that I really listen to him.  He
said that I seem to be really interested in what he is saying and that I
understand where he is coming from.

I thought that was really a nice thing to say.

(The following is a transcript of our conversation)

Me: "So...Talk, what's on your mind?"

Jake: "Is it OK for a guy to tell another guy that he looks good?"  Me: "Of
course, why not"

Jake: "OK, I think you look good"

Me: "Why were you nervous to say that?"  Jake: "Because I never told that
to someone before"

Me: "It makes me feel great when someone tells me that I look good" Jake:
"OK, how about, you look great?"

Me: "OK, my turn, how come you got so mad when I asked you to come to the
gym."  Jake: "Because of what happens sometimes"

Me: "What do you mean?"  Jake: "Never mind, you'll think I am queer"

Me: "I don't think you're "QUEER".  And so what if you were. I can't help
you if I don't know what you are talking about.  Just tell me.  OK?  I
promise I won't laugh at you.  I swear I won't judge you."

Jake: "OK, so when I am in gym at school, I get kind of, you know, like
excited."

Me: "You mean you enjoy seeing the guys there" Jake: "Well, yes, sometimes.
Sometimes, I catch myself watching the good-looking guys, and well, I think
about them..."

Me: "What do you think about Jake?  Jake: "I think about their bodies, and
if they are like mine, like you know if we have the same stuff."

Me: "All men have just about the same equipment.  Every one is different
though" Jake: "I know, it's just, that, like, there aren't any guys at
home.  Mom only talks about girly stuff.  She gave me a book last year
about sex; I read it, but .... I just want to make sure everything is
OK."

Me: "So, what do you want to know?  What do you think might be wrong?"
Jake: "Why do I think that way about the guys?"

Me: "Do you think that way about girls?"  Jake: "No.  I wish I could be
like you."

Me: "How so?"  Jake: "You know, like so free and comfortable about walking
around like you do.  Even when we were roller blading, you took your shirt
off, which was so cool"

Me: "You mean because I am comfortable walking around in boxers, you want
to be like me?  I don't get it Jake, please explain."

Jake: "Come on, look at me, I am nothing like you.  I wish I could wear
boxers and hang around without my shirt on, and just be barefoot.  Your
arms are big and you have muscles."

Me: "First of all, you look exactly like me when I was your age.  Second, I
work hard to look this way.  It's what I do to erase the stress of my work
day.  You're 16 right?"

Jake: "Right."

Me: "I didn't start working out until about 5 years ago.  If you want to
start, you can too.  I am sure you have a great body.  As far as hanging
out in boxers, go for it...Take off your shirt."

Jake: "What?"

Me: "You heard me, take off your shirt."

Jake: "Ummm, come on, this isn't funny."

Me: "Do it Jake, take off your shirt."

H stood up and took his shirt off.  I know I keep saying this, but he
really was beautiful.  He had the makings of an incredible build.  He was
basically hairless.

He looked like he had goose bumps on his arms.



Me: "How does that feel?"  Jake: "Good I guess.  But see, I am nothing like
you."

Me: "You have a great body."  Jake: "Kind of skinny."

Me: "How do you feel laying here with your shirt off?  It's cool right?"
Jake: "Yeah its cool...But I feel funny."

Me: "Why?  You look awesome."  Jake: "Ummm, cuz you have yours on."

Me: "You want me to take mine off?"  Jake: (really quiet) "Yes!"

Me: "OK, no problem, we're both guys, right?"  Jake: "Yes."

I took my tank off.  We were now sitting up in bed Indian style facing each
other.

Me: "OK, is that better?"  Jake: "Yes"

He seemed to be shy, and couldn't really look me in the eye.

Me: "Hey, Let's play a game OK??"

He started to reach for his shirt but I grabbed it before he had a chance
to get it, and I told him we do it without the T's.

Me: "So what do you say?  You want to play?"  Jake: What game?

Me: "Truth or Dare" Jake: (He gave me a big shy smile) "How do you play?"

Me: "I will ask you "Truth or Dare" and you choose one."  Jake: "OK"

Me: "Don't be nervous...OK?"  Jake: "OK"

Me: (Really serious....) "Jake, truth or dare?"  Jake: "Truth"

Me: "Describe how you feel sitting here without your shirt on."  Jake: "It
feels good, like dirty or something, but really good, like I am free and no
one is watching me."

Me: "OK COOL, your turn."  Jake: "OK", (Imitating me...in a really
serious deep voice) "Truth or Dare?"

Me: "Truth" Jake: "OK, let's see, do you play with yourself still?"

Me: (Laughing) "Still?  Buddy, I do it as often as I can."  Jake: "No way,
really, how often?"

Me: "Usually once a day, when I get home from the gym, sometimes twice a
day."  Jake: "WOW, OK your turn."

Me: "Truth or Dare?"  Jake: "Truth" (he was giggling)

Me: "When is the last time you played with yourself?"  Jake: "Before I came
here."

Me: "How often for you?"  Jake: "NOT often enough, hey that was two
questions, now I get two..."

Jake: "Truth or Dare?"

Me: "Truth" Jake: "When did you have sex last?"

Me: "It's been awhile, maybe 3-4 months.  I've been really busy lately."
Jake: (laughing...) "Excuses, excuses, excuses..."

Me: "What else do you want to know?"  Jake: "What it feels like to have
sex."

Me: "It can be amazing...really...amazing."  Jake: "WOW, what do you
think about?"

Me: "I think about the person I am with and how my body feels..." Jake:
"That sounds so awesome; did you ever get a blow job?"

Me: "Of course, have you?"  Jake: "No, but I think about it, like all the
time. Do you wear boxers all the time?


Me: "Not all the time, sometimes I wear boxer briefs too.  Where did that
come from?"  Jake: "I just think they are so cool"

Me: "Do you want to borrow a pair of mine?"  Jake: "When?"

Me: "Right now."  Jake: "Umm, OK"

Me: "You want boxers or boxer briefs?"  Jake: "Boxers"

I got up and went to my dresser.  I got out a pair of my favorite Calvin
Klein boxers and handed them to him.

Me: "OK buddy here you go. Now go put them on."  Jake: "Now?"

Me: "You said that you wanted to wear them right?  So go for it" Jake:
"Really?  OK cool!"

He went off to the bathroom to change.  I lay back on my bed and thought
about what was happening.  My 16 year old son was asking me about sex.  He
wanted to get a blow job.  Was I supposed to show him?  No one ever told me
anything about sex.  No one ever showed me how to take care of my body.  I
learned everything by myself.  I never had anyone I trusted enough.  What
was I supposed to do? I have always believed in total freedom; and that you
should do what comes naturally.  We only live once and if something feels
right then go with it.  I do know that helping Jake, feels right to me.

Jake came back into my bedroom wearing his sweatpants he had on before.  He
still had his shirt off, and was now barefoot.

Me: "Hey buddy, what happened?  What about the boxers?"  Jake: "I have them
on."

Me: "How do they feel?"  Jake: "It's awesome, really cool."

Me: "What do you like about them?"  Jake: (laughing) "The way it makes my
body feel free."

Me: "You mean the way your dick feels right?"  Jake: "Yeah, maybe we should
stop talking like this..."

Me: "Why do you say that?"

Jake: "Because now it's kind of .... showing."  Me: "You mean you're
getting hard?"

Jake: "Yes."  Me: "Show me."

Jake: "What?!!"  Me: "Show me your boxers."

Jake: "Oh, OK... you ok with me being barefoot too?"  Me: "Of course, you
got nice feet."

Jake: "Mom does tell me to make sure my nails are always short and clean."
Me: "It's very important....About those boxers??"

Jake: "OH, OK..."

Jake proceeded to take off his sweats and stood there in his boxers.  I
must admit, there was something really sexy about him.  I had to keep
reminding myself that he was only 16.

Jake: "They're kind of big."  Me: "Naw, they fit fine, you're just used to
tighty whities..."

Jake: "I know little boy briefs.  These are so much better.  Hey are we
still playing that game?"

Me: "Do you like this game?"

Jake: "Hell yeah!"

I would say that Jake was enjoying himself.  He was wearing only a pair of
boxers now, and talking so freely.

Jake: "I think it's my turn.  Truth or Dare?"  Me: "Truth"

Jake: "Are you gay?"

Me: "If I was gay?  How would you feel?"

Jake: "I don't think you could be gay cuz you are so much of a man."

Me: "I think you'd be surprised at how masculine some gay men can be."

Jake: "Did you ever get a blow job from one?"

Me: "One what?"  Jake: "You know a guy??"

Now it was my turn to be quiet.  I was urging him to be honest with me, so
I knew I had to as well.  Maybe this was my way of honestly dealing with my
own issues too.

Me: "Yes" Jake: "OH MY GOD NO WAY!"

Me: "Yeah, it happened.  What do you think about that?"  Jake: "How was
it?"

Me: "It was fantastic."

I was remembering the experience, and while I was thinking, I noticed that
Jake was looking at my crotch.

Jake: "Oh WOW do you think about it a lot?"  Me: "I guess more than I
realized, yes."

Me: "OK, Truth or Dare?"  Jake: "Dare.... "

Me: (thinking for a minute) OK buddy, I Your dare is...to lay back, close
your eyes and tell me something that you never would have the courage to
tell me if you had your eyes open.

(And so...it began....)

 Jake: "OK, I can't believe I am going to tell you this, but I am....here
goes...I think about guys all the time.  It's amazing.  I know it's
probably wrong, but I can't help it. I just love looking at guys.  I look
at how different everyone is, some are tall and some are short, some have
naturally built physiques, others really strain to work at it, I can tell.
I think that guys who are barefoot are wicked cool.  I like looking at guys
with flip flops too.  Mom always makes me wear socks. I know you think I am
weird, but I like looking at arms, and arm pit hair.  I think that is so
friggin sexy... Sometimes I don't wear deodorant, and I get turned on by
my own natural smell.  It's not rancid or anything, but just natural, you
know, like a guy should smell.  I love looking at how some guys, even my
age, are hairy and some are so smooth.  I think I will be smooth, I know
that you are, so I suppose I won't grow a lot of hair on my chest.  We do
have the same hairy legs though, that is so cool."

"One of my Aunts restricted my access to porn sites on the internet at
home, so I don't get to see much, just guys at school, and in the gym.
Most of the guys in class are really immature; they haven't grown as fast
as I have.  I am fascinated with their dicks.  I really love my dick.  I
love playing with it and jerking off.  I really seem to get off on making
myself shoot.  It's like there is nothing better. I've seen most of my
friends, and they're really small...a couple guys don't even have pubes
yet.  What's up with that?  Sometimes I wish I could shave my pubes, it
probably would make my dick look bigger.  I even saw the gym teacher's dick
once.  It was huge; I swear he was sporting a semi hard one.  I think he
was uncut, as he had a lot of skin at the end.  That was the first time I
have ever seen that. I wish I could have seen it up close because it was so
different.  I have to be really careful about looking because I don't want
people to treat me different. Most guys look at each other when they are
naked don't they? "

"I want to be as free as you and feel comfortable about my body, but I am
afraid that no one will like me.  I have gotten hard while I am changing in
gym class.  I try not to take showers anymore because I get a boner. But
the teachers make you...I know the guys see me hard or close to it, I
know they are looking, and to be perfectly honest, I like it. "

"I get so horny that sometimes I think I am going to explode.  The only
private time I have at home is in my room at night.  My room doesn't even
have a lock on it. Whenever I am alone in my room, and the door is shut,
someone always barges in and asks if I am ok.  They just won't let me be
alone."

"I want to sleep naked and walk around naked.  I know you sleep naked, I
saw you the other night When I got up to pee, and I heard your TV and
thought you were awake, I almost had the nerve to talk to you about this
then, but you were asleep.  I saw you on your stomach; the sheet was barely
covering your butt.  It's smooth like mine.  You looked so peaceful, and so
incredibly sexy. Please tell me that it's ok to tell you that.  You keep
telling me that I am handsome, but you are so, like, amazingly beautiful.
I just wish that I will grow up to look like you."

"Will you help me find myself?  I don't want to be different, I want to fit
in.  I know you can see me.  It's not that dark in here and I know that you
are watching me while I am talking.  I can see you, and I feel embarrassed
because I am hard, and its leaking and I don't want you to be mad about me
getting your boxers dirty."

"I just want to know that what I am feeling is ok.  All I want to do is
feel normal.  And I want you to love me.  These past few days have been the
best I have ever had.  You are more like a big brother than my father. You
are like my best friend; I can't believe I am telling you this.  I can't
believe that I am even allowing myself to open up to you, but something
inside me just said to...I trust you so much.  You treat me like an
equal.  Thank you so much."

He then turned to face me and said, "Oh Dad I love you so much. Please hold
me."

Up until then, he had never called me "Dad", and although I was surprised
by his revelations, I wasn't turned off; as a matter of fact I was
extremely turned on.  I had a hard on for this beautiful kid lying next to
me who was now hugging me.  I felt his big hard cock on my leg.  I held him
and rubbed his back.  He was nuzzling my neck, and practically begging for
me to love him.

I rolled him over so I was now on top of him, our faces inches away from
each other.  And said to him,

"Listen to me, I've been telling you that I don't care if you are straight
or gay...OK?  I just care that you are happy and healthy.  That's all.
You are my big beautiful son, who I love more than life....."

...and he put his mouth up to mine and kissed me, I was surprised at
first, but just gave into the passion. His lips felt so good on mine, and
our tongues met.  God he was so sexy.

He pushed on top of me and started sucking my nipples and licked up to my
neck, he pushed my arms over my head and licked and sucked my arm pits.  I
allowed him to take off my boxers, I was now fully naked, and lying with a
huge hard-on .He kissed and licked down to my pubic hair, and then my legs
and even sucked my toes. He rolled me over and rubbed and kissed my body,
paying close attention to my butt, he loved my butt.  He asked me to roll
over, and at this point I was ready to shoot so badly.  He asked if he
could make me cum... He licked and sucked my cock with amazing
tenderness.

I wanted to reciprocate but he asked me to please let him do this because
he had waited such a long time. I let him do everything.  He needed me, and
I needed him.

When Jake made me cum, it was the most explosive orgasm I have ever had.  I
shot all over him.  I didn't realize it at first, but he also had an
orgasm, we had cum at the same time, he didn't even touch himself.  We were
drenched with sweat and cum, but we held each other for what seemed like
hours. He thanked me over and over again.  He wanted his first time to be
with someone he trusted.

He sat up and said that he should probably take a shower.  I agreed, and
let him go.

I spent a few minutes thinking about what had happened. I knew that we
would have to talk about it, and that it probably should never happen
again, but I didn't have one second of guilt.

I was so proud of my son. Jake knew what he wanted and he went after it.
Isn't that what I did all my life?  I never looked back; I just made my
decisions and lived my life.

I knew exactly what I was doing; I was allowing my son to explore, I was
allowing him to be himself, to finally be the man that he was destined to
become.

I sat up, stretched, and walked naked to the bathroom to find my son.


I would love to hear from you.  Drop me a line....yakovl@aol.com