Date: Mon, 26 Oct 2009 14:18:54 -0700 (PDT)
From: don mumford <thinat20@yahoo.com>
Subject: MENTORING PAUL PEMBROKE - CONCLUSION    By Donny Mumford

		 MENTORING PAUL PEMBROKE  By Donny Mumford

		   Second half of Part 2    (Conclusion)


It's been almost a week since Paul's birthday party and he still hasn't
mentioned anything about the wine and beer-induced conversation we had
that night... the conversation about our mutual gayness.  I don't know
what to make of that but on the mentoring front Paul's progressing very
well.  That was the case even before I helped him get his learners
permit, since then things have gotten even better. He's certainly a
different boy from the one who began this adventure with me here in the
woods of New Hampshire. Paul still has his quiet times but mostly he's
showing a friendly, positive attitude about everything... frankly it's
been a remarkable transformation. He smiles now, looks me in the eyes
when I'm talking to him things, seems sincerely interested in what I have
to say, and actually tries to do what I tell him.  No complaints from
Paul about our daily two mile run or our weight lifting program, and he
actually likes playing basketball... he's become a very likable sixteen
year old boy.  And like most sixteen year old boys, he loves driving and
has become a damn good driver too. I like my cousin quite a bit. He was
dealt a lousy hand in life but he's putting that behind him and moving on
to better things now.

His positive mental outlook is the most significant change of course, but
he's looking good too. Before and after pictures wouldn't be out of place
in "Muscle and Fitness" magazine. To understate the situation... I'm real
proud of how he's developed, and it's obvious he is too.  That last
comment is the more important one, how he feels about himself. The only
worry I have now is this unexpected development of his gayness. Last
Saturday night Paul not only told me he's gay, he also intimated he'd
like me to introduce him to gay sex... that's the troubling part.  It's
not that he's hot for me, he simply wants to experience gay sex so he can
be cool with it.  At least that's how I felt at his age. Sixteen year old
boys do not want to make fools of themselves, especially with their pants
down. I've thought about calling my Uncle Tony about this, that seems the
prudent thing to do but as of yet I haven't done it because Paul has
completely dropped the gay topic... not one word about us being gay since
last Saturday night. Maybe it was just the booze talking that night and
he woke-up Sunday morning realizing what he'd said and was mortified.
 Perhaps he wants to simply drop it forever, forget it ever happened.
Frankly I don't feel even faintly qualified to handle this but I gave my
word I'd mentor Paul so I need to come up with some way around the sex
thing; some way that won't screw-up the other things that are going so
well...

Building the bunkhouse is the easiest of my responsibilities so I'll
switch my attention to that for now, and to something fun like Paul's
driving. Actually the bunkhouse is coming together faster then expected
and the same for Paul's driver training... both could hardly have gone
smoother. It's fun for me to see how happy he is driving the Jeep up and
down the back roads surrounding the lake... he's like a little kid; it
makes me smile seeing him so animated and excited. I wasn't surprised he
quickly picked-up driving skills but the fact that he showed such rapid
progress with carpentry skills did surprise me.  Paul seems to like
carpentry now and when he allows himself to believe he'll some day move
in with his father he talks about us working together. I see the
eagerness in his bright eyes, but with Paul there's always an "If"
hanging over everything... "if" his father gets the court's approval for
custody. I've tried convincing Paul that it's basically a done deal but
Paul's learned not to get his hopes up too high about things he really
wants. Anyway, he'll complete his driver's training today and I'm
thinking since tomorrow's Saturday maybe he can take the road test
then... no sense in waiting. He should make that decision for himself
though. Mostly I'm hoping this Saturday doesn't jar Paul's memory about
the gay talk of last Saturday.

The more I try to think how I should handle this sex question the more it
looks like I'm going to need to call his father for advise because no
ideas are forming in my brain, not even bad ideas.  Oh man! I don't want
to call Uncle Tony, but I'll have to... it's so damn awkward though! How
to phrase it to him... fuck! Wish I had someone to discuss this with.  I
don't feel comfortable discussing this with my Mom obviously, and it's
not the kind of thing I should be emailing Gilbert about either, and I'm
not really tight enough with anyone else. Mmmm, now that Gilbert's on my
mind though, how nice to spend some time thinking about that boy.  I'm
really missing him. Hope I haven't built-up our relationship too much in
my own mind though, Gilbert probably isn't daydreaming about me like I am
about him.   In two weeks we'll be together again and then we'll find out
where we stand, in the meantime Gilbert's been sending hot emails to
me... that's a good sign, right? It seems he's looking forward to
continuing our sex-a-thon and hopefully it's more than just the sex.  At
this point all I can do is hope because I have no experience in the
mysterious world of romance. Other than Gilbert, my total romantic
experience consist of two half-assed, short-lived, buddy-sex episodes...
sex episodes with boys I didn't feel particularly connected with, not
even during the sex. Anyway, with Gilbert it's been a very different
thing, in a positive way. I really do think there's something going on
between us, something more than just the hot sex but I've nothing
concrete to base that on except a gut feeling. My hope is that Gilbert
feels the same way I do because I got it bad for him... my first real
crush I guess you could say. Damn is he cute and uber hot, and he loves
fucking! Holy shit, does he ever love getting fucked, and especially by a
tall, eighteen year old boy like me. Gilbert's got the most perfect tight
small body you could ever imagine seeing on a twenty year old... thin,
but muscular like you can't believe, and what an athlete. Of course
gymnasts in general are tremendously athletic. Watching him and his
teammates is a treat for the eyes, thrilling actually. Sure, you'd expect
me to say that because I'm gay, but I'm pretty sure I'd appreciate
watching them even if I wasn't drooling over those luscious gymnast
bodies. But I'm suppose to be making a decision about Paul's sexual
interest in me, not my sexual interest in Gilbert. It's all a mystery to
me.

Putting those concerns away I turned on the radio and concentrated on
building the bunkhouse... a couple of hours later I was nailing-up the
last sheet of drywall.  The place looked good, a rectangular room with
windows on both sides, a bathroom and storage closet in back, double-door
entrance in front with a porch... it really has turned out great.  Paul
was saying at dinner just last night he could hardly believe we built it,
just the two of us. Of course it wasn't just the two of us although we
did most of it.  Uncle Tony did the ordering and scheduling and
contacting of local electricians, plumbers, and plasterers to do the kind
of work that requires permits and skills that Paul and I lack... we
basically did all the grunt work. Well, our part of it is almost finished
now, I guess there's less than two more weeks of work left to be done.
Wiping the sweat from my forehead I check my watch; soon I need to get
Paul in town. He'll be done the last of his drivers training lessons
about an hour from now. Over at the cabin I sat on the porch drinking a
coke and stewing again about calling Uncle Tony. Damn, sexuality is a
freaking awkward subject to discuss with almost anyone, but especially
with my Uncle because it's his own son we'll be talking about. Uncle Tony
entrusted me with the boy's well being... he knows I'm gay, and now I've
got to tell him his son is too.  Fuck!   Then I just did it... I called.
He answered his cell at a construction site, "Tony here" and I go, "It's
me, Uncle Tony... we need to talk..."

I began talking alright, telling Paul's father about everything except
his son's gayness.  I described how excellently Paul was doing in
everything, including his driving... telling him how Paul's a totally
different kid, attitude-wise and every other way. I rambled on about how
the  bunkhouse would take less than two more weeks to finish and how we'd
be past the six week time period, but blah, blah, blah. When I ran out of
words Uncle Tony started in on how proud he was of the job I'd done
mentoring Paul and when he was done with that he excitedly told me the
good news that the last of the legal paperwork is being wrapped-up this
afternoon... the documents that allow him custody of Paul. He wanted me
to keep that news to myself so he could surprise Paul with it later
tonight. Then there was a significant lull in the conversation and Uncle
goes, "Jon, you said there was something we needed to talk about... I can
tell you're troubled... what is it, son?" I hesitated, took a deep
breath, and begin, "Yes Sir, there is..." and I go on to tell him almost
verbatim what Paul said to me about his sexual orientation last Saturday
night, including Paul's stumbling, bumbling request that I introduce him
to gay sex.   A deep silence followed... the kind of silence that makes
your ear drums hum.

My heart was pounding in that scary way it does when I just know I've
fucked-up.  If I hadn't told Paul I was gay maybe he wouldn't have told
me he was, or something like that... I don't fucking know, somehow I'd
let Uncle Tony and Paul down. Clearing his throat and taking a deep
breath, then stammering before finally steadying himself enough to
quietly say, "Please don't think I'm terrible, but I took advantage of
you, Jon. It's not that I wanted to be devious, it's more that I was
desperate and I've had a guilty conscience all summer about it ."
Confused, I mumble "Devious? Desperate? I don't..."  He clears his throat
with an exaggerated cough, like he was choking-up getting emotional, then
says  "Ah, well... it's like this Jon, Paul's mother found computer
print-outs in Paul's room, pictures of boys having sex together. The
pictures are from  a gay pay site that Paul somehow got access to.  She
called me that very day suddenly anxious for me to have custody of Paul.
 She thought, as a man, I could handle "all this" better than she could,
basically she wants me to take Paul off her hands. She and Paul aren't
close as you've probably noticed so there shouldn't be any hesitation on
Paul's part about living with me." Uncle Tony described how he'd agreed
to take charge of Paul but only after his lawyer worked through the
courts making it legal... he didn't want to allow for any
misunderstandings should his ex-wife change her bizarre mind. In the
meantime, what to do about Paul.

Uncle Tony admitted he wasn't at all sure how to approach Paul about this
pending abrupt change in his life. Paul's gay situation needs to be
acknowledged at some point; but more importantly, concerns involving
Paul's negative attitude about life, his lack of direction and lack of
motivation needed to be addressed. Initially Uncle Tony had no idea how
to even begin interacting with Paul. What would be his explanation as to
why Paul's mother wanted him gone? Confronting Paul about the gay porn or
about any of his negative attitude problems surely wouldn't be the way to
start a new relationship between father and son. Uncle had meetings with
a child psychologist who, among other things, strongly advised against a
confrontational approach.  To make a long story short, during Uncle's
third visit with the psychologist he proposed to the doctor his rather
desperate idea involving me, a gay cousin, mentoring Paul.  If I agreed,
I'd be mentoring him about improving his outlook and about Paul's need
for direction in his life... get him motivated, whatever. There would be
no direct discussion of sexuality unless Paul brings it up.  The
psychologist was dubious at best, she thought Paul needed to consult a
psychologist about changing his attitude and about living with his
father... perhaps the gay discussion would evolve once the doctor gained
Paul's confidence.

Giving me agonizing details, Uncle Tony described his emotional state
during the period leading up to his decision to ask me about mentoring
Paul. He was concerned that if he insisted Paul see a psychologist that
would hinder his effort to gain Paul's confidence.  Resigned that Uncle
Tony was determined to try the mentoring approach the doctor advised
Uncle to say nothing to Paul about me being gay, and nothing to me about
Paul being gay.  The psychologist thought it best that sex not be part of
the discussion... something about allowing things to develop naturally
between Paul and me.  Bottom line, "Jon, I've put a great responsibility
in your hands without advising you of all the circumstances involved,
specifically Paul's gayness, and even though you've handled everything
fantastically I still feel bad about taking advantage of you. I'm
embarrassed about it actually, but I'm still going to ask you for further
help because you're my best hope for doing the right thing for Paul.  In
my heart I know the best chance Paul has is for you to handle the gay
situation with him. He trust you and you've lived through many of the
same feelings Paul's probably experiencing. I'm totally comfortable
you'll know the right thing to do when the time comes... if it comes."
He went on to ask that I keep whatever happens between me and Paul to
myself.  Let Paul decide when he wants to confide in his father, confide
about his gayness or anything else.  Uncle Tony wants to earn Paul's
trust.  He said, "I'll always be grateful to you, Jon...." then he sobbed
which shocked me, he's always been the strong confident type so it took
me by surprise... scared me a little.  Uncle was quiet for a few seconds,
then with emotion in his voice, he mumbled, "God bless you, Jon! Your
father would be so proud of you..."  He got emotional and thanked me a
few more times before promising to give the regular Friday night call
later tonight to tell Paul about finalizing the custody papers.

After hanging-up I'm like... well I'll be god dammed!   Am I mad about
being kept in the dark and used like this...?  I guess not. Mostly I'm
proud that Uncle Tony has so much faith in me. What if I made a wrong
decision though?! Telling myself to get over it... that it's about Paul,
not me, I went inside to get cleaned-up before heading into town to
pick-up Paul.  Mulling over everything while driving provided me no clue
about what to do if Paul asked that we have sex. I'm going to play it by
ear, see what the situation is when he brings it up... if he brings it
up.  Paul saw be parking and ran to me waving a paper in the air. He
looked so boyish with his tan face and his buzz cut hair and his innocent
looking shy smile. He's turned into a very attractive teenager right
before my eyes. Opening the car door for me he goes, "I got my
certificate for the full twelve hours of drivers education and I'm
totally ready to take the final written test too... so, can I stay and
take it today, Jon? Please!"  I smiled back at him wanting to hug him and
rub his hair and tell him how wonderful he is, but I did none of that. I
stayed calm, tried to be as mature as I my eighteen years would allow and
said, "OK, Paul... sure. Let's go inside and see what's involved".  He
pumped his fist and yelled, "My cousin, rocks!"  Then, feeling a little
self conscious of the outburst, quietly says, "Sorry bout that, but you
do rock... thanks, Jon".  I did rub his head then, got an arm around his
shoulder to pull him against my side for a second  too, then mumbled,
"You're welcome... and you rock too, Paul". He chewed on his lip, blushed
a little and then did a pretend cough.

Inside the DMV building things were hectic as usual, but there wasn't
much of a line for the written tests, actually it's taken on a computer.
 Paul was finished in twenty minutes with a perfect score. He looked so
proud showing it to me. It almost made me shed a tear to think of all the
years he didn't have anyone to show a perfect score to, no one who would
care... maybe that's one of the reasons he hadn't been getting too many
perfect scores in his life.  As we left the building Paul was in a very
upbeat mood and to my delight there was almost a little smart-ass in his
voice when he says, "Jon, how many hours did I spend driving the Jeep do
ya think?" I go, "Maybe twenty to twenty-five hours" and he says, full of
confidence and excitement, "Well, the last time I checked twenty is more
than the required twelve so I've fulfilled everything I need to do to
qualify for my on-road driving test. Can I do that today too, Jon?"  It
was just a little after one in the afternoon, we hadn't eaten lunch yet
and we were behind schedule getting the shingles on the roof of the
bunkhouse, but so what!  I say, "Sure, Paul... you've earned it. Let's go
right back inside and see what times are available."  Oh my God, Paul was
beaming and so boyishly excited it made me feel excited too. There was an
opening at three o'clock which we signed him up for and then walked
across the street for lunch.

At lunch Paul was effervescent, it's hard to imagine that this version of
Paul was once that earlier sullen version. I'm quite aware that driving a
car is a super important part of a boy's life... it's a rite of passage
actually. I can easily remember being wicked excited about getting my own
license. Not that I was excited to the degree Paul is excited because I
knew I'd be getting my license while poor Paul wasn't at all sure how to
even go about it, no one has ever taken an interest in him so lots of
things have slipped through the cracks while he was growing-up and maybe
getting his license would be one more thing he'd miss out on... he
certainly couldn't depend on his mother. Now he knows he can depend on me
and soon he'll learn he can depend on his father too. During the on-road
test I sat in the back seat, a state trooper evaluated Paul's driving
from the passenger seat... naturally Paul passed the on-road test with
flying colors and on the way back to the cabin I was almost relaxed
sitting next to him tapping my foot on an imaginary brake. Paul's driving
is quite good although he has a tendency to be a little heavy on the gas.
 I calmly reminded him "Don't exceed the speed limits by too much,
Paul... you don't want a speeding ticket the first day you have your
license, do ya?" He gave me the warmest, cutest smile and said, "Don't
worry, I won't let you down, Jon. You taught me better, no speeding
tickets for me."  I thought, "God damn... I love this kid."

Pulling into the cabin's dirt driveway Paul says, "Can we celebrate my
license like we did my birthday, Jon?"  I go, "You bet!" Then, just to
keep our priorities in order I insisted we first put a couple hours into
working with the shingles for the bunkhouse.  Paul was a very willing
worker, a happy boy is truly a wonderful thing. It was hot but we kept at
it until after six, then knocked-off to shower and cool down in front of
the one and only fan in the cabin.  We were enjoying the breeze from the
fan as the surrounding forest buzzed with the heat, a fish splashed
lazily in the lake, and the far away sound of a small plane droned out of
our hearing range. I felt calm and contended thinking about a special
dinner for tomorrow in celebration of Paul's license. Breaking the
silence Paul says, "This summer has been like a fantasy, Jon... I never
knew life could be so much fun... life is good, isn't it?" Whoa, he
caught me off guard with those heart warming sentimental words.  I gulped
and croaked out, "Yes, yes it can be Paul... there's always going to be
obstacles to overcome in life, but I've found that overall it is fun and
good... especially if you're willing to work at it." Then, in a very
normal conversational voice he added, "Jon, that favor I need... the one
you said you'd help me with..."  My heart began fluttering, oh man I'd
put this concern in the back of my mind and now Paul's coming on with it
so fast... what should I do? I say, "Yeah, Paul. Um, you want me to do
something for you, right?"  He says, "Yes,  last Saturday I mentioned
about me being gay ... like you are, ya know?  And I need you, as my big
cousin and all, to show me what gay sex is all about so I'll know about
it in case I ever get the opportunity to, you know... do something with
a, with a... a boyfriend I guess.  Will you... will you show me?" I
couldn't get a word to form... I was going, "Ah...um.. ah, oh.." Paul
reached over and patted be on the shoulder, quietly saying, "You promised
you would so I know you're gonna... you always keep your word.  It'll be
between you and me Jon... forever our secret." I swallowed hard trying to
figure out how Paul took-over the mature role and I wound-up in the
mixed-up-kid one. Paul says, "First some beer and wine and food to
celebrate my drivers license, spaghetti would be nice. Then teach me...
OK? Please..."  I snapped out of my brain cramp, shook my head to clear
it and said, "This is a little awkward... no, make that a lot awkward!
 But, we'll work it out."  Paul's looking me right in the eyes nodding
his head up and down, still patting my shoulder like he's encouraging me,
helping me find the will to get through this.  It made me chuckle and
that led to a bursting-out embarrassed laugh, "I'm alright, Paul... jeez,
you just caught me off guard, that's all." He stood up and hugged me a
one-second fast-as-lighting hug and mumbled, "You'll always be my hero,
Jon... you turned my life on, you flipped the switch. Now I'm
participating in life... isn't that what you told me to do. You said for
me to stop being an observing, and participate! Right!?  OK, that's what
I'm doing and you need to mentor me in this sex thing so I'll know about
that too, ya know?"

He'd grown into such an attractive boy, confident even, and considering
what I thought of him when I first met him... well, it's a truly
astonishing development. I squeezed the back of his neck and said, "How
about getting us a couple of those beers you mentioned. I need to loosen
up a bit."  I said it in a light hearted manner but in fact I was telling
the truth... I was wicked up-tight with this. I'm aware that Paul's the
legal age for consensual sex so that's not a roadblock... it's just, I
don't know... it's something.  Only after Paul hurried into the kitchen
for our beers did I realized... holy shit, the something I'm worried
about is that I'm actually getting aroused at the thought of me and Paul
having sex.  Am I a pervert or something? Maybe it arouses me because
it's been a long time since I had sex... dreams of Gilbert are as close
as I've come and they're nice, but come on... the real thing is so
awesome.  Then I thought, wait a minute... is this incest? Maybe that's
the something in question. Two cousins, does that qualify?

Then Paul was back with the beers handing me a can and asking, "Should we
kiss like they do on the porn sites, they always kiss and I'm not sure
how I feel about that."  I surprised myself by saying, "Here, try
this..." and I cupped behind his neck and pulled his head down to mine to
give him a three second kiss on his lips, then say "It can be a good way
to feel relaxed with one another... my boyfriend and I make-out for
fifteen or twenty minutes, or even longer sometimes and it usually leads
to us having sex together." Paul takes a sip of beer making a face like
it taste bad, then goes, "That kiss was a little... um, strange, I guess.
 But, what the heck, lets try it again" and this time when we did it he
sort of kissed back, then pulled away to say, "How am I doing? I've
hardly had any experience at kissing... my mother never even kissed me
when I was a little kid, and certainly not since I've been a teen. I used
to kiss the back of my hand to see how it felt to kiss and be kissed...
ya know? Heh heh, once in a while I still do that when I'm watching the
gay boys doing stuff on the Internet.  It sure is different though,
kissing you I mean, but I liked it OK."  Oh my God, this kid can be blase
while saying stuff that breaks my heart... he's never been kissed by
anyone. That bitch of a mother of his needs some serious physiological
help... a trip to the psychiatrist just isn't gonna do it for her though,
she needs to go to Vienna and have the whole goddamn country full of
psychiatrist work on her around the clock. How could a mother be so cruel
to her son, what mental cruelty. I took a silent deep breath and tried to
be calm for Paul.  Drinking my beer and watching Paul force his down I
smiled because he won't admit he hates the taste.  Then I say, "Well,
kissing is a good thing and it's especially sexy making-out with another
boy... ya know, better than making out with the back of your hand".  He
smiled innocently and I went on, "Ya know Paul, at first I didn't feel
comfortable kissing a boy either, but eventually I made myself try it and
then found-out it's sexy.  Maybe it's initially awkward because we've
been bombarded, from when we were little kids, with the notion that boys
don't kiss boys... so we feel guilty trying it.  I don't really pretend
to know the exact answer, but it seems to me we should all do what feels
good as long as we don't force it upon anyone else. That's pretty much
what I think, anyway."

Paul was very attentive, nodding his head in agreement and looking
intently at me as if he were savoring every word as I wondered what his
lonely world was like prior to our adventure here?  Growing-up with no
one caring a thing about him except that he stay the fuck out of the way,
and keep his mouth shut. Unloved, ignored, scared about being homosexual,
no one to turn to... just an absolutely terrible environment to
experience his teenage years in.  It would have stayed that way too,
that's if his father hadn't persevered in his efforts to get custody, and
his mother hadn't found those porn pictures. When Uncle Tony lived at
home he wasn't really much of a help to Paul either. Paul was much
younger then, of course, and seemed OK with things... not a real happy
kid, but at least outwardly he seemed OK. That was the case until Paul
was older, the marriage went south and Uncle turned to booze... his
ex-wife got vindictive and used Paul as her way to get back at the
boozing husband.  She filed for divorce and went to court preventing
Uncle Tony from seeing Paul.  As soon as she won that battle she stopped
pretending she cared about Paul and spent all her time and energy
thinking about herself. Now she wants to be done with him altogether.
Paul goes, "Jon, what'cha thinking about?"  I squeeze his shoulder and
say, "Nothing important, what do ya want to do now?"  He says, "I guess
we should try kissing some more...OK?" Smiling at him... he is cute... I
pulled his head over to mine again and kissed his mouth, then put my
tongue in between his lips and licked across his teeth, then up on his
gums... he opened his mouth slightly, going "Ohhhh..." and my tongue was
inside his mouth. Paul put down his beer, his arms came up to loosely
hold around my neck.  He began licking back against my tongue and I'll be
damned if I didn't start getting hard.  Paul has a natural way of making
out... maybe kissing the back of his hand isn't as crazy as I thought it
was.  It took me by surprise that this boy, my sixteen year old cousin,
would get me aroused to this degree. On the other hand, why wouldn't he?
 I guess it's just that I never thought of him in that way.  He's
actually quite a sexual boy... one who's been fantasizing about doing
something gay with another boy for a number of years, so he's  certainly
motivated... he smells good too. Good grief, my cock is as hard as a flag
pole.

Paul pulled his mouth away breathing hard, holding the side of his face
against mine.  I was breathing a little hard myself.  Shortly he quietly
said, right next to my ear... "Jon, I've got the tightest erection ever.
 Is that natural, does it always happen when you kiss a boy?" I go, "It
generally happens, yes... especially if you like the boy you're kissing?"
 "Do you need to love him?" he asked. "No, no Paul, you don't need to
love him... liking him is all it takes."  Paul goes, "Oh... good" and our
heads came apart.  He took a slow deep breath looking in my face and
said, "Just so you know, I like you very much... um, also you're the
cutest, ah, I mean best looking boy I think I've ever seen." My eyes
opened wide with surprise, again I didn't expect anything like this from
Paul. He misinterpreted my expression though, and hurriedly adds, "Sorry,
I'm probably not suppose to say stuff like that to another boy or...ah,
guy... ya know?" I smiled and rubbed his buzzed head again, nice hair by
the way. "No, it's fine. Thank you for saying those things. I really like
you too, cuz. You've looked in a mirror I assume, so you know how cute
you are, right? Hey, we're both Pembrokes so we got some of the same
genes and all that." He goes, "Riiiiight..." and rubs my hair like I'd
just done to him... real cute smile. This is going pretty good so far.  I
asked, "More kissing or should we get some dinner" Before he could
answer, my cell phone rang... caller ID indicated it was Uncle Tony
making his normal Friday night call.

After I talked to Uncle, reiterating for Paul's benefit what I'd said
about our progress earlier today, Paul got on the cell and proudly talked
about getting his drivers license and all the perfect scores he'd
racked-up while doing it... that conversation morphed into Paul's
description of our progress on the bunkhouse and how proud he was about
his work on that, which morphed into how great a cousin and friend I am
to him, and on and on it went, one positive thing after another... nary a
negative word from this boy who once thought life sucked. Then the good
news from his father... from now on Paul will be living with him. Paul
was uber excited, jabbering with his dad for maybe five more minutes...
tears in his voice, a few trickling down his cheek.  It was a tear-jerker
alright... ya know, seeing tears in conjunction with his expression of
happiness. When I got the cell back to say goodbye to Uncle Tony he was
crying quietly too and not trying to hide it.  He said, "I'll never be
able to repay you for this gift of my son, for giving him a direction in
life.  Thank you so much, Jon." I was all choked-up myself, Paul had gone
into his room to compose himself and didn't see me blinking back the
tears.  To be able to do something that's so appreciated by someone like
my uncle, someone who I respect and love is a marvelous thing, it's
emotional beyond words.  At least it was for me... I needed to say
something though, so I mumbled, "It's much more Paul than me, Sir... give
Paul the credit for overcoming a childhood of neglect, no disrespect to
you intended. Paul is quite autonomous right now and ready to handle
himself in a way we can all be proud.  I'm very proud of him already...
and I like him very much as well. You've got yourself a great kid there".
 We actually chuckled at ourselves for getting so emotional and that
lightened the mood a little before we said goodbye.  It was a very nice
moment.

In the kitchen I started our spaghetti dinner by making a quick tomato
sauce, shortly Paul walked in and we exchanged grins, he silently began
making our salads.  We made the meatballs together listening to music on
the radio, both of us talked-out for the moment.  When the water boiled
in our big spaghetti pot, Paul looked over at me, I nodded and he dumped
the dry spaghetti into the pot. We drank wine with the dinner although I
had to force it down, I don't like wine as much as Paul seems to like it.
 The dinner was good and after finishing his plate Paul very casually
asks "What are we gonna do first, Jon?" Again he catches me off guard,
he's calmer about this than I am.  I go, "Ah, how about we touch each
others pee pees for awhile to ease into things..." He laughs and says,
"It'll be the first time anyone's touched mine but me..." To myself I'm
thinking... yes, this is the atmosphere we need, light and playful. After
cleaning up the dinner dishes we sit on my bed next to each other, our
backs against the wall... without me saying anything Paul rustles around
getting his pants under him and then half way down his thighs. Just like
that there's his package, exposed completely.  Glancing at him I see his
eyes are shiny, his mouth is maybe closed a little tighter than normal so
he is a bit nervous about this after all... he also has a determined
expression on his face.  Showing him a little smile and looking down to
his crotch I refrain from murmuring "nice" or something even more
embarrassing.  Paul has an excellent looking set of cock and balls on
him, but me acting like a pervert by licking my lips or something is not
what this situation needs at the moment.  His dick and balls look new
somehow, approximately five inches of uncut pale pink penis with foreskin
covering and extending three quarters of an inch in front of the
concealed head.  Under this yummy looking penis is a smallish hairless
scrotum with two orbs prominently displayed, the smaller one a tad over
and slightly above the larger one.  His nuts are kinda cute and my first
thought was "I can easily suck both of those nuts into my mouth at the
same time". Actually it was an inviting thought but I'd told Paul we'd
start by just getting use to touching each others dicks. Reaching over I
let my fingers drift through sparse, surprising soft, pubic hairs...
then, encircling his scrotum and penis with my thumb and index finger I
say, "Don't let me scare you by being too forward, and I'm not kidding
about this Paul, but you've got an excellent looking set here.  Some
future boyfriend is going to be awfully excited about this". Paul, in a
sincere way says, "Really? That's good to know, Jon..." I looked up to
see if he was being sarcastic... he wasn't.  He's quite naive, partly
because he's never had friends to talk or joke about stuff like this. In
any case, I've got to be careful what I say because, light mood or not,
Paul's obviously going to take it all very seriously.

When I let go of his balls and retracted the foreskin on his cock he made
a "shhhhh"ing sound between his teeth and squirmed on the sofa, his hands
coming over to touch the back of my hand lightly, probably an involuntary
reaction. I waited until he took his hand away then stroked his soft
penis a couple of times... no complaint from Paul so I did a good thirty
seconds of full strokes with the foreskin sliding on and off the head of
his penis.  His dick quickly got fairly hard and he kind of lifted his
ass partially up off the mattress. I mumbled, "You Ok with this, Paul?"
 He goes, "Yes, I'm very much OK with this".  Stroking his penis into a
boner didn't take much effort, then I surprised Paul and myself by
leaning over and taking his cock into my mouth, and while continuing to
stroke it I slid my lips up and down the shaft dragging my tongue over
the head and then under the foreskin.  Paul goes, "Oh my God... ahhhhh"
and slides the back of his head down the wall, his ass moving forward
till he was pretty much laying flat on the bed, sideways.  His cock came
out of my mouth when he slid so I adjusted my position and then performed
a really good blowjob on that yummy five inches of wood. Sucking and
tonguing up and down his great boner with special attention to the head.
 The firm but suckable cock head enlarged quite quickly, precum drooled
out after about a minute and with Paul pulling my hair and making
gargling noises I sucked down the bubbles of precum.  Another thirty
seconds and the precum drool was followed by a quick spurt of cum.  Paul
yelped and grabbed my head with both hands to move it up and down on his
cock. Fifteen seconds later he gulped, made a high pitched screeching
noise as he was thrusting up with his hips... my nose hits his belly and
a long thin stream of teen cum hit the back of my throat, then another
shorter stream and a third little spurt with Paul flopping around on the
bed, his feet tap dancing on the cabin's wood floor, tappity, tap tap
tap.  I sucked until I had every drop of that sweet tasting spunk in my
stomach... definitely a sweet aftertaste, much more so than Gilbert's
cum.

Pulling my mouth off his cock and looking up at Paul's face I see his
eyes are closed and his bright pink tongue is licking lazily around his
lips. His right hand had gone directly to his cock the second it came out
of my mouth and he was stroking it slowly, milking the last cum drops
out.  His left hand was under his T-shirt rubbing across his chest,
massaging his nipples... the sounds Paul made now were low humming noises
in the "Mmmm... Hmmmmm.." range. I took the opportunity to adjust my hard
cock sideways in my shorts so it wouldn't be so obvious.  He opened his
eyes after a bit, saw me looking at him and smiles with a very contented
expression. "Awesome" he calmly says. I smile back at him and mumble,
"Yes it was nice, and a world's record too... your first gay blowjob and
you broke the world's record for climaxing... twenty-two seconds it was,
I believe that's a record."  He laughed and goes, "Get out... it was
longer than that" and then he did something intimate, he ran his fingers
through my hair caressing my scalp, absently saying, "Swear to God,
Jon... I never felt anything like that before, can I try it on you
later?" Keeping it light, I say, "Do groundhogs shit in the woods?" Paul
looks up and sincerely asks, "I don't know, do they?"  We smirked at each
other, both of us feeling a little cocky that this had gone so well for a
first time try.

After awhile we adjusted ourselves so we were both sitting again with our
backs against the wall, he was kind of leaning against my side now. He'd
pulled up his pants and was talking openly about the sexual experience
we'd just shared, he didn't seem at all inhibited by it.  "Do you blow a
lot of guys, Jon? You do it so good, I couldn't believe how hard I shot
off... my toes got cramps and my balls felt like they were smacked with a
tennis racket or something"  I say, "Ouch!" and he added "Only for a
second though... after that the greatest feeling swept around my stomach
and all... my dick was tingling... especial my pee slit... jeez, what a
way to spunk!" He was pleased, quite taken by it... excited. He discussed
me sucking him off as if it was a normal first-time experience, like his
first roller coaster ride. As I've said, he's naive and I think that
helped our situation, a lot actually... he doesn't know enough to be
embarrassed or uncomfortable like most kids with more exposure to sex
talk might be for a first-time experience of this nature. I explained
that I'd given some blow jobs, maybe ten at the most... and then
explained that until I met Gilbert my sex life was almost non-existent.
He seemed surprised, but only commented "Oh, gee... not much sex and
you're almost nineteen".  Bumping against his side I go, "Hey, lot's of
gay kids have zero sexual activity by the time they're eighteen years
old... so I'm above average."  Paul, still sincere, says, "Oh, I wasn't
being critical, it's just that you're so... um, you know...  hot.  I
thought gay guys would be coming on to you all the time."  I hugged his
shoulder and mumbled, "I'm not hot, but thanks for saying so..."  He
talked freely and was very open about things like how many times a day he
jerks off and how much cum he shoots out and what his fantasies are,
things like that.  Then, following his description of whatever topic it
might be, he always wanted to know, "Is that about normal, Jon?" Paul
thought I had the answer for everything and seemed surprised whenever I
told him, "Jeez, Paul... I really don't know. I can only tell ya my
personal experience in that area...." and I'd tell him how many times I
jerked-off at age sixteen, or whatever it was we were talking about.

We talked, sitting next to each other, our shoulders touching, until
dark. It was the last week of July so it stayed light till half-past
eight or so. I lit only the small night light to keep the
atmosphere mellow.  We discussed the types of gay sex I was familiar with
which turned-out to be the same ones Paul was familiar with from his
Internet exposure.  He said he'd been kinda hoping there was more, but
didn't really expect that there would be. He wanted to try everything
except rimming... no kinky stuff like spanking or water sports either. So
far we'd tried kissing, mild jerking off, and cock sucking.  We agreed
that for now, he'd try sucking my cock until he got it hard enough for me
to have anal intercourse with him... that's his choice of words, anal
intercourse, instead of fucking. And, damn if I didn't find that I was
much more eager to do this than I thought I'd be. In fact I needed to use
my will power not to urge us into it quicker. I succeeded in controlling
myself because common sense told me that Paul is the one being helped and
he needs to make the choices. He finally said, "Ya think we waited long
enough, Jon... you know, so we can try the other things now?" I go,
"You're the boss, Paul" and as I glance up at him, I think how he looks
so young and vulnerable.

Because of that I felt the need to say, "What I mean by saying you're the
boss, is this...  you need to be the one deciding what you'd like to do,
and when you'd like to do it.  I'd hate myself if I thought I was taking
advantage of you in any way. I'd never intentionally do that, but please
say something the very second you think I am... please".  He looked
astonished, flabbergasted actually... like he couldn't believe his ears.
 He says, "What are you talking about, Jon?  You're the one doing this
great favor for me. I'm a sixteen year old kid who knows nothing and
needs your help, your mentoring me about life and you've been wonderful
about it even though it's ruined your whole summer vacation.  I don't
think for a second you're doing any of this for yourself! No one has ever
taken a fucking interest in me, excuse my language, but no one ever has,
now I have you... you care about me and I love you like you're my big
brother."  Tears were once again slowly rolling down his cheeks and I
wondered how many times he's cried alone. His voice sounded like his nose
was stopped-up as he continued, "That's what I've pretended every night
since you got me the learners permit. I tell myself you really are my
actual brother, that they got the papers mixed-up at the hospital or
something..." I stared in amazement as the tears kept coming down his
cute face... and now his nose actually is running. He wiped it with the
back of his thin wrist and finished with, "I'd never think you'd take
advantage of me!  Never in a million years."  I hugged him to me, he
hugged back tightly in that almost dark room, and I had a few tears of my
own.

Ya know, although he's built himself up in the muscle department he's
still quite small, pretty much the same size as Gilbert. Paul's not done
growing though, and Gilbert is... both have these tough little bodies,
Paul's body only recently developed. I can feel the strength in his arms
as he hugged me back like his life depended on it.  Finally I swallowed
hard, thought to myself "What a responsibility this is, I will not screw
this up!" then say out loud, "OK, crying is good sometimes, but let's
grab a beer and regroup now, what do ya say, cuz?" He rubbed his nose
back and forth on my shirt wiping mucus on it in the process, then says
"That's a roger, cuz". I added, "And, what the hell, maybe I'll change my
shirt while we're up" which made Paul blurt out a laugh, then we both
laughed stupidly at nothing for a minute or so before staggering together
off my bed, bumping into the door jam in the dark before safely making it
to the light switch in the cabin's little kitchen.  I got us both a beer
and we sat at the table catching our breath before starting on the beers.
Paul drank some beer, I drank some beer and wished I still smoked... then
Paul says, "How will we know when we've regrouped, Jon?"  I go, "We'll
know, don't you worry about it... we'll know..." I said it in that
raising voice George Castansa on Steinfeld uses when he's trying to prove
an unprovable premise. Paul chuckled even though I'll bet he's never even
seen a Seinfeld episode.

He's recently been showing his emotions so openly, from laughing to
crying and everything in between... it seems to me that's a very good
sign that the two of us are seriously connecting.  I grinned watching him
struggle to get the beer down, he's drinking the beer because I do, not
because he likes it. It's like me drinking the wine mostly because he
likes it. Done with my beer I gently take his almost full can from him
saying "I'll finish this off for you, Paul.  Let's adjourn to my spacious
bedroom, get naked, and climb into bed under the covers and I'll explain
how annal intercourse works, OK?"  He nods his head and away we go, me
chugging Paul's beer as we walk. This time I turned on the little desk
lamp, and as we're getting undressed I explain about the lube we'll use a
bit later and some general comments regarding the oral sex Paul's going
to do on me, like; "Try not to bite my dick if at all possible, teeth and
penises rarely go well together... on the other hand, tongues are good,
I'm in favor of tongues." Paul was working at regaining an upbeat mood
although for the he finally seems a little uptight, which is completely
understandable. In bed he says, "OK if we try the kissing some more,
Jon?" I go, "Sure" and get my arm around his neck to pull him towards me
a little.  His face came closer, his eyes closed right away and for a
split second I stared at his youthful face... he looks younger than
sixteen, a couple of scattered freckles gave him an even more youthful
appearance, nice boy's nose too... and great lips. Feeling real affection
for him I kissed his forehead and held the kiss... then I kissed his lips
which got Paul participating and we had a really nice make-out with Paul
totally involved. I'd gotten blue balls earlier while sucking his cock
and began sprouting another boner from our make-out. As we kissed this
time I'd lick across his mouth and up the front of his nose, Paul moaned
and licked my cheek hugging me around the neck as he grew another real
hard boner... it was sideways against my hip, my boner was firmly between
our bellies. This kid has a very nice natural boy smell about him and
that youthful tight skin is so excellent to lick. Our saliva has been
overwhelmed by the beer taste, but without the beer Paul has that same
nice clean crisp saliva taste that Gilbert has...  "boy spit" gets me all
psyched-up. Paul was making a low moaning noise as he moved his arms from
around my neck to get one fist around his cock and the other fist around
mine... both of us continuing our kissing, sucking, and licking.

When Paul got short of breath and eventually pulled his face away panting
and breathing hard I mumbled, "Take it nice and easy, Paul... you can
rest the side of your face against mine if you'd like."  He did that for
a few seconds then whispered, "I never thought it would be this nice, ya
know? I thought it would be sexy as hell, but not particularly nice." Not
being sure how to take that I say, "It's nice when nice guys are doing
it..." Then, so I wouldn't need to explain that vague remark further I
followed-up right away with, "What's next, boss.." With a break in his
voice he asked, "Ok, if I blow you now?" I'm like, "Sure.." as I whip the
sheet off of us.  It was warm in the cabin so there was perspiration on
both our faces by now... that's real sexy too, kissing while sweating
with the heat. Without hesitating Paul squirmed around to get his face
near my crotch, he picked-up my hard cock and says, "I don't know why,
but I though you'd have a bigger penis..." I started to make a joke about
that, but he quickly added, "I'm not complaining, actually I'm glad it's
not bigger.  It's big enough... bigger than mine, I just thought since
you're so tall and all..." he ran out of steam with that so I just
chuckle and say, "Yeah, well none of us have much to do with the size of
our dicks, I'm just real happy to have one no matter it's size" and that
struck him funny for some reason... it got him nervously giggling way
more than the comment warranted. I squeezed his shoulder, than ran my
hand up the back of his head.  Even with his hair cut in a buzz it still
felt full and soft. He was holding my cock in his rather small fist while
giggling, then he abruptly stopped giggling and without hesitating put
his lips around the head of my dick and licked little licks at the very
end of the head like a kitten lapping at a bowl of milk.  I just let him
do what he felt was the correct way to suck cock... it felt good and I
eventually got hard as stone, but it wasn't as effective as Gilbert's
technique... he can make be blow my load in a couple of minutes.  Gilbert
is a champion cock sucker... Paul isn't, but it felt good just the same.
 The worse blow job I ever had was still pretty damn good.

Paul seemed to like sucking and licking my cock, and it was certainly
fine by me,  so I let him go for it... he went at it for about ten
minutes at which time he takes my boner out of his mouth, looks up at me
with those puppy dog eyes of his, saliva wetting a circle around his
lips, and said, "I like doing this... funny, but I knew I was going to
like sucking cock just from watching the videos of the porn boys doing
it... it's so cool.  I like holding your thing too... it's neat" I'm
thinking "neat?" but just smile and say, "You did fantastic, Paul...
really great." He seemed pleased, took a deep breath and with a smirk
said, "I must be really, really gay cause I can't wait for you to do it
to me... you know, can't wait for you to fuck me" then he coughed and did
sort of a sneeze before adding quietly, "I've been wanting to say that to
a boy for three years now, maybe longer..." I mumbled something about it
being my privilege to be his first sex partner and he looked down
smiling, made a fist and did a jerk-off motion with his wrist saying, "I
always considered this my first sex partner, but you're the first one
other than that... and, um... I'm glad it's you, Jon." Sweet, but he
wouldn't make eye contact so I just said, "Thanks, Paul".  We were both
motionless for a bit then I got the lube I use when jerking-off out of
the bedside table.  Just flicking open the cap got my hard dick
twitching... it was a very tight boner and I needed to do a long exhale,
I was quite aroused by this whole deal by now. Somewhere I'd read that
first-time anal intercourse should be tried with the participants laying
on their sides, I don't know why that is but it's how I'm going to do it
with Paul and explain that to him. He says, "I don't think I ever saw it
done that way on video" and I go, "There's a real good chance the porn
models aren't doing it for the first time" and Paul laughs again. I need
to get used to that, he's only recently developed this sense of humor...
during all those lonely years of being ignored I'm guessing nothing
seemed all that funny to him.

He lay on the bed facing away from me as I fingered the slippery
lubrication gel on his hole and then gentle inside his hole... it had
Paul giggling again, then saying, "It feel good already" so I finger
fucked him deeper and deeper till my middle finger was way up there and
he's moving his ass on my finger and going, "Ahhhhh yeah... that's
awesome".  I go, "Feels good, huh?  OK, I'll do two fingers and he
squirmed a little at first but soon was "Mmmmm" with that too.  Man, my
cock was dripping... I couldn't wait any longer so, taking my fingers
out, I got the swollen head of my cock at his hole and breathily said,
"I'll go slow, Jon... it might hurt at first, let your ass muscles get
used to it... OK?" He was real still, just nodding his head as I slowly
put pressure on his hole, it was a very tight hole but amazingly my cock
head slid in with the second try. Paul gasped and his hand came back to
feel around his ass, then get his fingers around the shaft of my boner.
 He groans lightly and says, "It hurts a little... feels a lot bigger in
my ass than it looked earlier.."  Then, excitedly "It's feeling better
already, Jon" I go, "You have a great ass here, Paul" as I push another
inch of cock slowly inside him.  Paul goes, "Ohhh..." so I stop for a bit
then push in some more thinking how he really does have a great ass, very
plump buttocks, especially considering his slim body.  Gilbert's ass is
the choice bubbly butt type too, except his is very muscular.  Paul says,
"Oh Jon, this feels so good... when are you going to fuck me though?"  I
make a face like "well, alright!!" and push the rest of the way in,
hesitate a second then pull back with Paul saying, "Ahhh, oh yessssss Oh
my God, that feels good". Another rather slow up and back then a bit
faster and finally a nice rhythm, a good fucking rhythm with my groin
smacking into his plump ass... smack smack smack smack.... Jeez!  Feels
awesome alright, he really does have a very tight asshole and he keeps
flexing his sphincter muscle creating a fantastically squeezing sensation
on my boner. Paul was soon fully involved, pushing back and moving his
ass in almost a rotating manner, it was a surprisingly good hot sexy
time. Paul's a natural bottom it seems, he likes it almost as much as
Gilbert... well, no one likes it as much as Gilbert, but Paul's a natural
for sure.  It'd been almost two months since my last fuck and almost
sixteen years from forever since Paul's so both of us were going at it
pretty good.  I'm grunting now, sweat flying around both of us... sweat
on his buttocks and my groin from constantly colliding made more of a wet
smacking sound now slap slap slap slap slap and as I picked up the pace
breathing noisily through my nose, my mouth tightly shut with the effort
of fucking his ass like no ass has ever been fucked before, Paul cries
out "Ohhh ahhhh, my dick!" and his arm is moving like a piston as he
jerks on that excellent boner of his... I just lose it then, trying hard
not to squeal I fired a hard shot of cum up his ass followed by a long
string of it.  Cum pulled back out to join the sweat on his buttock, then
slam bam goes my boner back up his ass with another real nice shot of
cum.  He's moaning and writhing, humping back into my fucking... I had
the white dots in my vision and the electric charges flying around my
groin and up and down my cock... wow! great climax!

I know he had at least four cum shots himself because he tightened his
already tight sphincter muscle even tighter with each shot of his climax
and did that ever feel incredible.  Now I'm light headed, this is the
time Gilbert and me would be snuggling, doing some hugging and kissing,
but I didn't do that with Paul because I wanted him to decide what we'll
do... I waited to see what his inclinations were.  One of them was to
keep stroking his cock, another one was to moan and blow air out in long
burst... then he slowed down little by little until he was motionless...
totally spent.  I stretched my neck looking over him and see his cum
streaks on the sheet.  One shot of cum even hit the wall. Not a lot of
spunk but pretty good considering it was his second climax of the
evening... of course he is sixteen years old, great age for sperm counts.
 I didn't want to, but felt I should, so I slowly backed away pulling my
still hard cock out of his ass and as I absently stroked it I watched
quite a lot of my cum drool out from Paul's asshole.  He reached back to
feel his ass and then he says, "Didn't think it could possibly feel that
good, my ass is really opened-up though, is that normal?" I told him it
would soon close-up, quite quickly too and that, yes... it's normal.  He
rolled over with a grin on his face, he was having fun, but he didn't do
any affectionate stuff, he says, "Funny, but I never considered the
messiness factor, ya know?" and he's chuckling, then says, "Cum all over
the fucking place, excuse my language. It's running down the back of my
ass onto my legs, it's all over my hand and sprayed all over your
sheets... ewww" and we both laughed at his animated "ewwww"... he's
developing this comic way of saying and doing things. At the end of our
quick laugh we do a spontaneously nice kiss on the lips, quick and
without any tongue, but just right.  I go, "Let's get cleaned-up... how
bout a shower?" He goes, "Oh yeah, I need a shower for sure" so we got
out of bed together.

Like everything else about this mentoring thing, this first sex lesson
went better than I had a right to expect... nothing about this entire
past two months could possibly have gone any better. Well, the cabin
could have had a large enough shower so we could shower together, that
would have been nice. Not to be though so Paul went first and I said a
silent prayer of thanks that this mentoring experience had going so well.
 After Paul's shower I took mine... then, bare foot with only PJ bottoms
on, I padded into his tiny bedroom to see how he was doing.  Big smile
for me, which is so different from the expressions of six or seven weeks
ago "Hi, Jon... how'd you think I did?" I sat on the edge of his cot,
squeezed his leg and said, "You're quite awesome, cuz..." and we talked
for maybe five minutes about the sexy things we'd done together. He
couldn't have been happier about everything and reiterated numerous times
how he was quite content being gay even though he had a difficult time
with the idea early on.  He didn't want to live a secret life though...
he knew I'd come out as a gay boy about his age and that's what he
planned on doing. There wasn't any discussion of him being in love with
me or anything like that, that never came up although he did claim to
have a wicked crush on me, not the first crush he's ever had but I'm the
first one he's ever told about it.  He says, "Don't be scared, Jon.  My
crushes don't usually last very long and you are a little bit too old for
me anyway".  He said it all with a grin but there was some truth in it
too. I acted offended about the "too old for him" remark and we joked
around a bit more, then I went to bed. That was it for our first time.  I
prayed my thanks again and then thought about Gilbert till I fell asleep.
 Do I have a crush on Gilbert, or is it love... and what's Gilbert think
about me, deep down, what's he think?  Hmmm...?  Then, very contended and
satisfied, off to sleep I go... and without a dream this night.

During the next two weeks we totally finished the bunk house, Paul was
very proud, so was I.  This was a big project, the bunkhouse, and we both
felt it was a smashing success.   We had sex on five other nights, he
even was a top one night although he said he prefers being the bottom.  I
encouraged that he try for flexible which he says he'll think about.  He
loved me fucking him doggy style, said it was his favorite position.  I
didn't do him the way I do Gilbert because I felt that was our way,
Gilbert's and mine... but, if I had fucked Paul that way I'll bet the
doggy position would become his second favorite position... heh heh. All
the sex we did together was very enjoyable... lots of cum flying around,
lots of moans and squeals... we even fucked three separate times the
second Saturday after our first sex... oh God, that was very hot. All
that being said, for me it was never near the level of heat generated by
Gilbert and me.  It certainly seemed extremely hot for Paul though so I
was a bit surprised he didn't want to do it more often.  He almost
fainted a few times while blowing his teen loads, his climaxes.  Being
curious, I hinted around about that... why not more that five nights?
 "It's simple"  he told me, "I like getting fucked about as much as
anything I can think of, but my ass is sore for a day or two after we do
it, that's one thing... and for another thing, I didn't want you thinking
I'm a sex pervert or something".   As usual he was sincere and looked me
in the eyes with his conscientious facial expression. I wanted to chuckle
at his "sore ass" remark, at his entire honest answer to my question
actually, but didn't... instead I gave him my warmest smiled and nodding
my head that I understood perfectly.  And after thinking about it some
more I realized that it was just about the right amount of sex for proper
mentoring anyway. Paul really does deserve a lot of credit for being so
responsible about everything we did the past two months and I told him
that, but he never stopped thanking me for all I'd done for him no matter
how much I tried deflecting the credit back to him.  To say I've grown
fond of my cousin this summer would be a gross understatement... still, I
don't want our sex life to continue.  He needs his own boyfriend, one his
own age, and I need to explore my relationship with Gilbert. A boyfriend
like Gilbert doesn't come along very often and I want to do everything I
can to move our relationship along.  I like that Gilbert is a couple of
years older than me too... somehow eighteen and twenty seems to be a
better fit than sixteen and eighteen, ya know?

Paul and I shed some tears together leaving the cabin behind.  He'll be
coming back up here with his Father and the rest of his new family in a
couple of weeks... that group will include cousins from his father's
wife's side of the family too.  I've got to get on with my life, and
anyway I don't want to intrude on their family thing.  They'll have a lot
of bonding to do... Paul's open, ready, and anxious to get started with
that.  He loves that he and I will be living close by and he loves the
idea of moving out of his mother's house, so two more things that
couldn't be better.  Without ever actually saying a mean or negative
thing about his mother, it's obvious he has very little feelings for her.
 Paul drove the Jeep from the lake back to his mother's house with me
riding shotgun and biting my tongue to keep from giving him any back-seat
driving instructions. We dropped the car off, unpacked it and then packed
a few cardboard boxes with Paul's personal items for UPS shipment to his
father's house. His mother and her latest boyfriend were vacationing in
Canada somewhere so we couldn't say goodbye in person.  Paul wrote a
short, polite note of goodbye and we caught a cab to the bus terminal for
the long bus ride to his new home. We had nice easy chats about a lot of
things during the bus ride, with many things he's very sincere of course,
but he now laughs easily at anything that's even slightly funny too, it's
like he's making up for so little laughter in years gone by.  Uncle Tony
and Aunt Mary met our bus, Paul's new parental unit, as he refers to
them.  With them he was very shy, staying close to my side... hell, they
were shy with him too, so it's even.  I drove with them and helped break
the ice by giving Paul a million compliments about his new muscles, his
running ability, his basketball skills, and his work ethic along with his
great personality etc etc. Paul's going, "Jon, stop... just stop!
 Please..." but it was done in good humor.  Uncle Tony and Aunt Mary had
loosened-up a little themselves by the time they dropped me off... Paul
and I did a special hug goodbye and when I looked over at Uncle Tony he
had a tear in his eye... he mouth "Thank you" to me and I too had a tear
in my eye when they pulled away.  During our hug I whispered to Paul,
"I'm so proud of you... I think I really am you big brother, I love you
like my kid brother so that's what we'll say we are, OK? We're brothers."
 He couldn't talk so he just nodded his head and kissed my cheek... so
sweet.

I watched him getting back into the car, him staring back at me with a
look of brave determination on his youthful boyish face. This wonderful,
bright, positive thinking, go-getter of a teenage boy, a beautiful
thing... it's hard to believe that this boy was hidden away deep inside
that slump shouldered, dirty-haired, sullen, walking-minus-sign slacker
of a boy who used to be Paul Pembroke... the version I'd met at the
beginning of the summer. Looking now at his bright-eyed youthfully cute
face, his trim, defined body and his confident eager to please smile, all
I can say is, "WOW, what a great kid!". Ya know, I don't want to break my
arm patting myself on the back because honestly most of the credit for
his transformation goes to Paul; but dammit, I'm so proud of myself for
the part I played I might burst with pride!  Truth is I got more out of
this summer than Paul. Hell, I guess I'd have to say that this has been a
life altering experience for both of us. Paul has begun tasting the
sweetness of personal accomplishments and he's gained tremendous self
confidence from his successes... it's only natural for him to want more
of that feeling, then more after that, and that's the kind of constant
self improvement that leads some to greatness.  As for me, I've witnessed
up-close and personal what can happen when you reach-out to help
someone... you can sometimes achieve so much more than you'd ever
imagine. No way could I have envisioned influencing another boy's life in
such an enormously positive way, it's a lesson I'll never forget...
always be willing to try, give freely of your time and effort for others
because the personal rewards are endless.  Giving up my summer for Paul
has given me a wonderfully warm personal feeling of self-worth and
accomplishment, one thats so immense I can't articulated it.  I surely
know about this warm wonderful feeling in my heart though... a feeling
that will be with me a long, long time, and as if that's not enough
reward, I've also gained a cherished friendship for life... and another
kid brother too.

Looking forward to seeing my original kid brother and my mother I hustled
up to the front door thinking of my reunion with them, then tonight...
with Gilbert.


the end

by Donny Mumford          thinat20@yahoo.com