Date: Mon, 26 Feb 2007 14:46:54 -0800 (PST) From: Bob Archman Subject: Mommas Boy My Dad left mom when I was five and died when I was 12. I never really knew him. Mom said she had married below her station. Her life had been a trial, afflicted by the parents who never understood her, a host of sicknesses and ailments and most of all by the husband who abandoned her. "Bobby, I'm a weak woman and need help," she would say. "You're the man of the family now. I love you dearly, even of you aren't the best looking boy in the world." Mom was blond and blue eyed, and Dad was Joe Ardanian, a crane operator of Armenian descent. I got all the Armenian genes and none of Mom's. I was a souvenir of her bad marriage. Since she was sickly, I would race home from school to take care of her. She would have chores for me to do. She used to cook dinner when I was younger, but when they first produced TV dinners, she had found her inner gourmet. As I got older, she got sicker and I did more and more. I never knew exactly what was wrong. When I asked about her affliction, she would mutter something about "women's problems." I spent my time at school or at home. She needed the help. I never found friends in school since I couldn't do after school activities because of Mom's health. I tried going out for the track team, but Mom got sick and I had to miss practice too many times. I wanted to be in a play, but that was impossible. When I graduated from high school, I went to an urban university ten block from my home. I could take care of Mom and my studies too. Later I got a job in a state agency a few blocks from home. Looking back, I see Mom never got sick when I had a paying job, only when I was doing something I liked. It may sound odd, but I had a happy life. I knew it wasn't very exciting, but it was predictable. It was also the only life I knew. I was twenty-seven years old when I came home and found Mom dead in her bed. I called an ambulance. The rescue squad and the police arrived. It was awful. My neighbors were helpful. Mr. and Mrs. Notting came over when the ambulance appeared. Mr. Notting was a nice guy and I helped him with projects in his yard. Mrs. Notting didn't get along at all well with mom, but she liked me. Mom called her that damn Presbyterian Church Lady. "Some women are made to be workhorses," Mom would say with respect to Mrs. Notting. "I'm a lady and she can't understand a delicate woman like me." Mrs. Notting was always nice to me. She had three kids and I played with them as a kid. She also invited me to things like the circus and special events like that. They were nice people. I was dazed as they took Mom's body away. I had no idea what had to be done. Mrs. Notting knew what to do. She found Mom's address book and called some relatives. Mom's sister, Aunt Helen said, "too bad" and then hung up. They weren't close. Mr.s Notting also called Steve Ardanian, my Dad's brother. I had never met him since Mom didn't like him. Mrs. Notting said he was my relative, not hers, and he should be notified. She also found the name of Mom's lawyer. Briefly I was suspected of killing her. The policeman in charge, Detective Bunting, questioned me for hours. After two days the autopsy made it clear it was a natural death. My other neighbor, Jimmy O'Bannon showed up while I was being questioned. Mom positively hated Jimmy. He was unmarried and always fixing up his house. He was a building contractor and there were construction workers hanging around his place all the time. Mom thought it made the neighborhood look bad. "Charley, what's up?" he asked addressing the detective. Apparently he knew the man. Detective Bunting explained the situation. "Don't worry about Bobby here," Jimmy said. "You're barking up the wrong tree. He's a nice guy and never had a problem with his mom. I've lived next door for ten years and he's straight as an arrow." "Who might have been interested in killing her?" Bunting asked. "To tell you the truth, I rarely went through a day without thinking about strangling her," Jimmy said. "Sorry about that Bobby, but you know it's the truth. She was an exceptionally irritating woman, but I don't think so irritating as to get killed. I'd put my money on a drug overdose. She was at the doctors five times a week and came back with a new prescription every time." I turned out Jimmy was right in a way. She had used every antibiotic known to man and when she got a comparatively minor infection, it killed her. It was a natural death. Detective Bunting came to the house to give that information two days later. "I'm sorry to have been so rough on you," he said. "I'm a naturally suspicious man, and I should have held back until I knew more." I said I was okay. It was nice that he came in person to tell me. He didn't need to visit me face to face to give me the information. He arranged to get the body released to the funeral home and got the death certificate quickly. I had no idea what to do about the funeral. The Nottings did. Mom had one sister, Janet, who hated her and would have nothing to do with her. Steve Ardanian lived sixty miles away in tidewater and he came over, arriving after the cop left. Uncle Steve was a massive man with a black beard and a scar bisecting his face. When he knocked on the door, he scared me. As soon as he spoke, all was well. He was friendly and eager to help. "We're trying to contact Selma's lawyer," Mrs. Notting said. "He seems to be out of town. I have no idea if there's a will, or if there are any assets to pay for the funeral." "What about Bobby's trust fund?" Steve asked. "Trust fund?" I asked. "What trust fund?" "The one your Dad left you," Steve said. "It was about $500,000.00 when he died. You only had access to the interest until age 25, but then it was all yours." "I know nothing about it," I said. "I think we need to search the house, there must be something here," Mr. Notting said. He was a banker and knew about financial things. "Let me call my lawyer," Uncle Steve said. "He set up the trust." Steve went outside to get better reception on his cell phone and I went to the secretary where Mom kept all her financial stuff. We searched through it and found nothing. One drawer was locked. I remembered Mom always wore a gold charm bracelet. I remembered there was a brass key among the gold charms. I went to her bedroom and found it next to her bed with some rings. I got Mom's bracelet and tried the key in the locked drawer. It worked. Steve came in. "Look for statements from the Central of Virginia Trust Department," he said. In the drawer, arranged in neat piles were legal documents and statements about the trust. Mrs. Notting found the most recent statement. There was a $6,000.00 a month distribution to my Mom as my guardian, but the remainder was intact. The principal had increased to almost a million. "Holy cow," I said. "I had no idea." "You're kidding," Uncle Steve said. "She never told you about this?" "She said dad had abandoned us and left us destitute if it hadn't been for an inheritance from her folks," I said. "Shit, your dad gave her the house and $300,000.00 at the time of the divorce as well as a $3,000.00 a month payment," Steve said. "I don't think her family had a pot to piss in. Sorry ma'am, I forgot myself. Sorry about the cuss word," he looked at Mrs. Notting. "I thought Dad was a crane operator?" "Have you ever heard of Ardanian Crane & Heavy Equipment?" Steve asked. "We supply heavy equipment for major construction projects, dams, expressway and tunnel construction. Your Dad ran the rental division. I ran the sales." I hadn't heard of them. It turned out they were a big company worth millions. Dad had been the co-owner. That night I went to dinner with Uncle Steve and learned a lot about my father and his family. Mom's view of them was deeply askew. While she saw them as manual laborers, they were major building contractors. Steve was a bundle of energy. While we are he called his lawyers again and told them to get me access to my trust fund and told them to find my Mom's lawyer. When I got home after dinner, the our house looked cold and empty. Jimmy saw us arrive and came over. He suggested it might be better if I stayed in his guest room for the night. He offered Steve a room too. I wasn't eager to spend a night alone in the house. I know it's silly, but I couldn't think of the house without her. Jimmy's house was fully renovated and beautifully furnished. He had a big kitchen and family room in the rear of the house. We had a few beers and I went to bed. I was bushed. My mom didn't like me drinking and the beers put me to sleep right off. At midnight I woke up had a headache. I went to find something to take. I heard Steve and Jimmy talking. I knocked on the door to the master bedroom, "Come in Bobby," Jimmy called. "We're soaking the kinks out in the hot tub." I went in the room. "Come join us. You'll feel better." They had been drinking. I wouldn't say they were drunk, but they were happy. I was in my jockey shorts and a tee shirt. I wanted to try the tub. I'd heard about them, but never been in one. I didn't know what to do. Steve must have realized my problem. "We're all boys here," he said. "We're in our birthday suits, so don't be shy." I slipped off my clothes and got in the water quickly. Mom didn't like body hair. I'm hairy, but compared to Steve, I was smooth. I didn't know a man could be that hairy. "I see you got the family genes," Steve said. "You mean the hair?" I asked. "Looks to me you share the same hair and the same cock," Jimmy said. "Not pretty, but meaty." "I've always thought a cock is functional, not just a decorative accessory," Stave said laughing. "I think they all work about the same." "All cocks are equal, but some are more equal than others," Jimmy said. I had been looking at Uncle Steve, but turned my attention to Jimmy. He had reddish-blond hair and a thick pelt on his chest. It didn't show ups as much as Steve's black hair. "Would you like another beer, Bobby?" I said yes, he got out of the tub and went to a wet bar in the corner of the room. He brought another beer for all of us. I noticed his cock was semi erect. He must have known, but didn't seem to care. His cock was long with a big cock head. "You look pretty happy," Steve said. "I get inspired easily," Jimmy said. "There's a lot of man meat here. I hope you guys take this as a compliment not as a come on." "I've got no problem," Steve said. "I'll take any compliment I can get." "You're gay?" I asked. "You don't look gay." Jimmy laughed. "What in hell is looking gay? Most of the construction workers who stop in here are gay too." The conversation turned to finances and my future. I was worried about work. "Maybe you should take some time off," Jimmy said. "You can do what you want now. You're a free agent. What would you like to do?" "I never really thought about that. Mom was so sick, it didn't occur to me to think about myself," I said. "Well it's time to think now," Uncle Steve said. "You're free, single and independently wealthy. You have a world of options. If I were you, I start by having some fun. Kick your heals up." "I'm not too sure I know what fun is," I said. "Until now, fun consisted of watching Jeopardy on the tv." Uncle Steve said he was tired. He got out of the tub and went to bed. The swirling water of the hot tub was great and I was getting really relaxed. I stayed put. Jimmy and I chatted. He got me another beer. This time he was more than half hard. "Sorry about that," he said as he gave me the beer. "I tend to like young masculine men, and you're my type." "I never guessed you were gay," I said. "You never made a pass at me." "You were the kid next door," Jimmy said. "I'm not into underage kids and I don't recruit playmates. I like men not boys. I don't want to sound conceited, but most guys come to me, not the other way around." I was getting hot and sat on the edge of the tub to cool down. The hot water made my ball hang really low and my cock had firmed up. "As I said, I never make the first move, but damn I'd like to suck that thing," Jimmy said. "I've heard about getting a blow job," I said. "What's it like?" "It's easier done than described," Jimmy said. "Want to give it a try?" I must have had more to drink than I thought. I nodded my head. "Just once," I said. A second later Jimmy was on my side of the tub and his lips were wrapped around my cock. No one had touched my cock since I was a baby. His tongue explored my cock. Jimmy wasn't shy at all. Thick foreskin covered my cock head. He worked his tongue into the skin and then explored the dark recesses. Normally the skin partially covers my head even when I'm erect. I was so hard my entire cock head was exposed. I jerked off, but thought that was all there was to sex. When Jimmy's mouth enveloped my cock a new world of sensation opened up for me. It didn't know you could feel so much. Jimmy licked, sucked and probed. I came close to shooting several times. When I finally shot off, I couldn't believe how good it was. I thought Jimmy would pull off when I shot, but he didn't. I was ejaculating and Jimmy was still sucking. My cock head got incredibly sensitive. I could hardly stand it. When I stopped shooting Jimmy continued sucking and ten minutes later I shot off again. "Damn, that was good," Jimmy said after he finished lapping up the last remains of my second orgasm. "I love a good load. Steve's was just as thick and creamy." "Do I need to suck yours?" I asked. "It's late, you need to get some sleep," he said. "I like to suck. You don't need to reciprocate." I went back to bed. The next morning Steve went with me to the funeral home. We got all the arrangements made. Steve paid for it all with a check. We went back to my house and I made calls to relatives and friends. The Nottings came over. I thought people might drop into the house, but the house wasn't very presentable. "Well, we can make the place more spiffy," Mr. Notting said. "Don't you worry. The boys are coming home. They'll help." We spent the rest of the day cleaning the house. The house wasn't terrible, but it wasn't what my Mom called ready for company. The Notting's boys, Roger and Karl came and helped. I hadn't seen them in several years. We were playmates as kids, but we went to different high schools. Mom smoked and there was grime on everything. Steve's son came with two Ardanian cousins. They pitched in. Several flower arraignments arrived. They were from my friends at work and from neighbors. They helped cheer up the place. By the afternoon, the house looked good. Jimmy arrived with a deli tray. Another neighbor brought over a ham. Everyone was really nice. At 6:30 the doorbell rang. "Bobby?" a tall thin man asked, "I'm your Uncle Delmont, your Momma's brother." Mom didn't talk much about her family, but I had they lived on a plantation of some sort. The minute Uncle Delmont opened his mouth I could tell he was pure Virginia redneck. He was a nice guy, if uncouth. He thought the deli tray and ham were gourmet experiences and just loved it. Mrs. Notting got him to eat a green olive for the first time. He liked it. He was an auto mechanic and you could tell, although he had done all he could to get the grease and oil off his hands. He got along really well with Uncle Steve. He liked big equipment. "Bobby, your Aunt Janet's coming tomorrow," Uncle Delmont said. "You knowd she never got along with Selma, but I told her she had to come anyway. Please be nice to her. Uncle Paul died a few months back and it's been rough for her. She really didn't mean to be nasty when she heard about your Mom. It just came out that way." "Does it usually come out that way?" I asked. "Truthfully speaking yes," Delmont said. "But she's really good when you need help. When my wife was dying, Janet was as good as a person could be." "I had no idea Uncle Paul and Aunt Sally were dead," I said "Selma didn't like sharing the spotlight with anyone else, least of all a dead person," Delmont explained. "She was the youngest and the prettiest of our family. Selma was Daddy's little princess and she never grew out of it." Everyone went home and I was left with family. Steve got a hotel room for his family. Delmont was going to sleep in his car. Jimmy asked if Delmont would spend the night at his house with me. Delmont was game. Delmont lived in a trailer. He had never seen anything like Jimmy's house. He loved the house, he loved Jimmy's beer and he loved the hot tub. Delmont had landed in the Emerald City, and Jimmy was a real life Wizard of Oz. I know Mom would have been humiliated by Delmont, but Delmont was a good guy and funny too. Jimmy appreciated his wild sense of humor. We were talking for about an hour when Uncle Delmont said he enjoyed skinny dipping in the hot tub. "It feels like home in the creek." "You use to skinny dip as a kid?" Jimmy asked. "I sure did, and still do," Uncle Delmont said. "The kids I played with in school are the same guys I play with now. There's not much change in rural backwaters. It's funny, most of my friends are either divorced or widowers now. We started with pissing contests, moved on to shooting contests and are back to pissing, unless there are prostate problems. We're sort of where we were forty years ago." "Were you the guy with the longest cock when you compared meat?" Jimmy asked. "I sure a shit was and still am. I had a friend who said my one eyed snake was my best feature," Delmont replied, "Actually he said it was my only good feature. Your hair may fall out and you may get heavier, but at least the cock doesn't shrink." "Getting it puffed up to full size can be a problem," Jimmy said. "Not for me," Delmont said. "I've never had that problem." The conversation had taken an odd turn. I didn't know where it was going. I offered to get a beer for the two men. When I brought the drinks back I was at half staff. "Damn Bobby. You must have taken after your Daddy's side of the family," Delmont remarked. "It's the size of a piston in a high powered car." "That's good?" I asked. Both men laughed. "It's good," Jimmy said. Delmont stood up and exposed the one eyed snake. It was a good 8" and curved downward with a big mushroom style head. "I guess if you went naked and hard all the time, you'd have no problem getting dates." We all laughed.