Date: Thu, 18 Dec 2003 12:56:28 EST
From: KNJB856@aol.com
Subject: My Brother/My Hero

   This is my first attempt at writing this type of story, so when you
e-mail me please be kind. Comments will be greatly appreciated.

   This story is protected by copyright laws, please do not copy for
distribution or post to other sites without the author's permission

   This story is completely fictional. Any similarities to any persons or
events, past or present are purely coincidental. This story may depict
sexual situations between young males. If this type of story offends you,
Leave now and we won't tell your mother.

				My Hero/My Brother

	I was a real bastard as a kid.  Always angry, antagonistic, hard
headed.  My parents called it adolescences.  Now I know it was
depression. Not only did I have severe depression that I now treat with
daily "Happy Pills" but I was pissed at the world because I liked guys and
I wasn't supposed to.  I had a few friends that I screwed around with.  I
even nuted in my buddy's mouth on a Boy Scout Camping trip once, and then
pretended it was an accident. Afterwards I was so angry at him for "Making
me do it" I went to sleep and made him leave the tent to jack off.  I often
lashed out at Bryce because I felt ashamed and needed someone to blame,
that's America for you, never your own fault.
	Things got better at 15.  I accepted my sexuality.  I was happy
that I had a name for what I felt and it was a relief when I read the
first, and only, book telling me to relax, your not nuts, just a Pillow
Biter! (Sorry, I have a horrible self deprecating humor, there will be
more) So I immersed myself in the gay world.  Living in a small town, that
meant I jerked off daily to yearbook photos of the varsity basketball team.
I did make my first trip to the big city, by bus, and walked into an adult
bookstore.
	 It was a college town and there were people everywhere, but I was
convinced that they all knew where I was going, I kept looking around in
terror.  Using my most macho demeanor, I marched into this dive.  I was
amazed at the selection.  They had a wall dedicated to every fetish I had
read about in, what had come to be, "My first rump ranger handbook".  I
browsed the front section with all 15 eyes on me.  I learned later the
proprietor had lost one in a weird semen splashing accident.  I couldn't
help but feel like a pizza at a weight watcher convention, and everyone
wanted to hold MY pepperoni.  As I approached the back room I was "carded"
buy the owner.  Sensing that it was solely a formality I handed him my
school ID for 10th grade at Sister High.  Sure enough, with a pat on my
bottom, he wished me will and sent me into the bowels of the dungeon.
Looking back I could have had numerous head jobs and even dropped a load or
two in a tight rear end that day if I wasn't so damn scared.  But the book
talked about how you had to be careful of being taken advantage of, so I
left shortly after entering.  Making a hasty departure was my plan, but I
was drawn to the walls and walls of porn videos.  I quickly grabbed one of
the first tapes that didn't have pictures of guys with a fist in there ass
and figured it would do.  Paying much too little for it, That should have
been a tip off, I ran from the store, only to be followed by two men both
openly shouting out the unspeakable acts they wanted to perform on me.  Had
I possesed a mind for money, I would have stopped and taken them up on
there generous offer to "Eat my ass like chicken fried rice". I would NOW
be writing the account of a 15 year old street hustler instead.  But I
digress.
	The whole ride home was punctuated by fear.  I was convinced that I
would get there and find the shop owner showing my parents shots of my
visit to what was a store front sting to catch underage gay kids buying gay
porn and double ended dildos. Shots from different angles, close ups, wide
shots, even a glossy color photo of me holding my new prize, "Back Door
Aussys-Doing it Down Under".  Yes!! I escaped the law again, no police
cars, no FBI, CIA or Focus on the Family Caravans.  Mom had dinner on the
table when I tiptoed through the door.  Always the good child, I was
greeted with a hug and kiss and told to wash up.  So far, so good.  No one
has gotten to the family with the news I like penises. Big penises, with
hair around them, and veins along the sides.  Oh, and butts, I was an ass
man from day one.
	I tend to think parents know when there sons need to rub one off.
The next few days were no exception.  I even had to sequester myself in the
bathroom during Sunday dinner with the grandmothers and knocked one off
with my pinky in my butt.  It was not until a few days later, late at
night, that I had an opportunity to view my recent acquisition.
	It sucked, it looked like it was shot through a plate glass window,
and every actor, if they could be called that, was overweight,
un-attractive, hairy and just a bit worn from, what I can assume, was years
of hard living.  It was still better than the, now, ragged photos of the
tall hunks on the b-ball team. I quickly freed my hard cock from my tighty-
whiteys and began to rub all over my chest and abs.  I watched for several
minutes as the oral copulation unfolded on the screen.  As I watched I
dribbled spit on my cock and rubbed it furiously with my right hand, all
the while massaging my tender balls with the left.  It was hard to tell,
but, through the crappy picture I think they started to screw.  The guy on
top looked very serious, like he had more important things to do.  Maybe he
had laundry to do, or the rent was late.  The guy taking it in the hinny
was in ecstasy.  I could tell, even through the static and bad acting, he
was truly loving have a penis inside him.  He was groaning, then screaming,
and finally wailing from the utter adoration he felt for the dick in his
butt.  I came in long ropes of cream, shooting my chest, then face. It all
dribbled down to pool in my pubes.
	The thrill was short lived.  From the other room I heard a snicker
that changed to a snort, similar to a pig.  I was right, it was a pig. A
hulking man of a swine he was, my brother's football buddy, Edward.
Everyone called him Hungry.  Followed shortly by Doug, They were an
inseparable duo. I think because each only posse half of a functioning
brain and if not together they lacked enough brain stem to continue
breathing on there own, a running joke in the whole school. Jeff, my
brother, was the captain on the football team.  He made it know that no one
on HIS team was to drive drunk or go home trashed and risk arrest or
suspension from the team. The back door was left open to anyone.  Mom and
Dad assumed he worried about his friends. The truth he worried about his
team and there trophy's.  These two reeked of booze and both looked to have
suffered urinary incontinence from the effect of the same.  Obviously they
were here to sleep off another Friday night of reviling.
	As they emerged from the darkness they both growled the word
FAGGOT. The word escaped there mouths not like two bitchy drag queens
fighting over a feather boa, the way I would have preferred, but it seemed
much more ominous they way they said it.  I was trapped. One can't run with
your drawers at your ankles, though I considered it.  No use in fighting.
So I cried.  Through my tears I moaned "Please don't hurt me".  My plea
fell on dead ears; I felt a serious of blows to my gut, one in my chest,
followed by a punch in the jaw.  Then it all stopped.  I thought it was
over, no luck.  They had only stopped long enough to contemplate, then
decide, that facial punches left marks and those were out.  Doug, the
slightly more advanced in the evolutionary cycle was the one to point that
out.  I was pulled by my hair from the couch and thrown to the ground.
There were a few sharp kicks, but these two were all business, no need to
waste time on pleasantries. They stopped kicking me so they could peel off
there skanky pants and present me with two hard cocks.  (So may stories we
read always have the big burly football players with 10 inch peckers
looming over our heads, we all know the truth about fat guys and steroid
users) They were hard alright a good 4 inches hard.  Now as I said before,
I am hard headed and arrogant. This was not the time for that, but I guess
my anger got the best of me.  Staring up at these child size wieners on
very large men was a trip.  I have never been one for flattery and I almost
never told lies.  So how was I supposed to look at that and seem impressed
or enthralled.  I wasn't and I made that clear by my statement "I guess you
each only got half of the dick also, huh?"  That went over like a fart in
church. They proceeded to puppel me with fists and feet for a few seconds
before I felt the first of two minuscule penises shoved in my mouth.
Having read some erotica, I knew that it would take time to be able to
swallow a whole cock.  Not this one.  I barly felt like it was worth being
assaulted for.  At least give me enough to choke on.  I can't and won't go
into detail.  Mainly because the assault was very short, in more ways than
one, and I seem to have blocked most of it.  I was kneeling on the floor
alternating between blowing these two hog's miniature sausages.  I had my
eyes closed and was on auto pilot. People say they tend to block all or
portions of a sexual assault and I guess that was how I was. At some point
there was some spit and a hair brush was pushed in my rectum, god knows
when.  Then, the assailants disappeared.  I watched as, like ghosts they
rose from there sitting positions with there legs flailing and were whisked
away over the back of the couch.  All followed by a few loud bangs and a
door slamming.  I fell to the floor with my hands over my face sure that
that was just the second round of men coming in to punish me for my
indiscretions.
	I must have passed out; the next thing I remember is I was in
bed. Another ghost, another football player, was patting my bottom with a
tissue. He was in by my hole, but the pain was gone, no more hair brush. He
wasn't poking, it felt like when you're a baby and Mom dries you off after
a bath, gentle and loving.  The Ghost dried my tear streaked face and gave
me a pill.  I hate drugs and I hated even more that my brother had been
known to use them.  I fought back.  No one was going to drug me, THEN rape
me, not even a ghost. I was going to be awake to fight.  But, at the same
time, why did I feel that was not this ghost's motive. I still fought, yet
it was all for naught; not a word was spoken as the pill was shoved down my
throat.  Oh well, if it happens, it can't be much worse the second time.
	The next day was all a blur.  I woke up for noises around the
house, the first ones, early in the morning, just outside my door, but then
just normal household sounds all over. They seemed so distant; shortly I
would fall fast asleep again.  My parents were hard working people, and
pushed there boys to be the same, but they knew everyone needs a day off.
I guess this was mine; I sleep undisturbed for 20-some some straight
hours. I only awoke in the middle of the night Saturday into Sunday.  I
rose and creep to the bathroom for a much needed visit.  After standing to
do my business, I felt an urge to sit and do similar.  Removing my
underpants I found a pad only slightly soaked with blood, and sat.  I felt
no pain, I went and then rose.  I wandered around the house for a few
minutes unable to enter the room of the attack. I continued my
rounds. Weird, the back door, that since my conception, no one knew if it
even posses a key now had a new knob and was LOCKED. My heart told me there
was someone on the other side of that door.  Nervous, I flew back near the
living room. Looking from the doorway, my eyes fell on the VCR. Oh god,
that tape, it was still playing when I passed out.  I flew to the player,
EMPTY.  Oh god, those ass holes took the tape, so they could show the world
what I had been watching.  In despair I returned to bed and crashed for a
good cry.  I still could not focus on what was real and what was not.
	I awoke to a massive thud, followed by groans.  I peered toward the
window and saw just fingers and the top of a head.  Like you see when a 90
year old woman drives a Buick. Then a second pair of hands, large, like
both sets belonged to football players.  Then like the ghosts from days
prior, but instead of going up, they clawed the siding as they seemed to be
pulled down by an unseen force.  I checked the window, LOCKED, barricaded
the door and went to bed.  I will try to sort this out in the morning I
told myself.
	In the morning, I awoke just as my parent's car left the drive.  I
saw Jeff in the driver's seat and my parents in the back like love
birds. They held each other like it was there first date.  I emerged from
my room, shocked that I was again left to sleep while the family went to
church.  I was a youth pastor and the star nursery attendant. I normally
was not given a choice as to attend or not, and this time they didn't even
ask.  Nothing had changed from the night before around the house except I
felt so secure here now. Not like last night, when I felt so scared.  I
made myself breakfast and ate in the den, still could not bring myself to
enter the living room.  I showered and went to change.  I opened the top
drawer of my dresser for socks and underwear.  It seemed heavy for just
holding a few skivvies and tube socks.  There was the reason.  Deep in the
bottom was a tape.  A porn tape, not the one I was sure was stolen, but one
with a nicer cover, better photos and a $60.00 price tag.  Next to it a
book on male on male sexual assault, and finally a paperback of "Gay Sex in
the 90's-A guide for men who have sex with men" I dressed and laid these on
my bed and just stared.  How and Who?  Now not only are ghosts appearing,
but they are leaving me porn and books on sex.
	Deciding that my underwear drawer would not suffice, I placed the
items in my safe that I had hidden in the floor years ago when I bought my
first pack of condoms. My still unused condoms.  I had to discard the
rubbers to make room for these things in my little plastic piggy bank safe.
Funny how years ago it seemed secure enough for my worldly possessions, but
now it seemed far to flimsy to hide my nagging secrets.
	I barely finished that task before the parents got home.  I greeted
them in the kitchen trying to seem relaxed even after all that had
happened.  I had questions, and hoped a few may be answered.  We had a
strained conversation, not there fault, mine.  I tried to be talkative, but
I only wanted a few answers then to seclude myself to my room again.  This
was not me.  In the past few months I had become the talkative one and the
apple of there eye.  They seemed worried, I still looked ragged; even after
all that sleep they said. Was I alright?  Did I need a doctor?
	"No, I am just fine, to much sleep can be bad for you also" I said.
"Oh, By the way...New lock back here?" Loaded question.  Dad piped
up. "Jeff is sick of his buddies trashing the living room, guess one even
wet on the floor Friday.  Said no more of that, let them rot in jail if
they want to drink"
	I feigned a smile.  "Sick" I said.  Where is he anyway?
	Mom this time "We had an argument, He refused to lose his
sunglasses even in church, not like you Brother, He said he had a few
errands to run and would bus it home.  We think that he just needed to get
away and try to cover his black eye".
	Me now "Black eye?"  Dad-"He looked really pissed yesterday when he
fixed the door, but went to bed fine.  Woke up this morning with it.
Either he punched himself in bed or snuck out last night!  Why we don't
know, you two know you can tell us anything, no need to sneak around"
	Both of them "He is acting strange, you know he heard a sound the
other night and sleep in a chair in the front hall, we found him in the
morning dozing there."
	This was all too much. First my problems now Jeff is getting wacky
also. I had to get away.  I was amiable, but very quickly retreated to my
room for some thinking.  I surfaced for dinner, Jeff was still absent. Mom
and Dad were ok with it.  We are basically good kids, Jeff drinks and drugs
a bit, but, Mom and Dad have voiced that they know that and will make sure
it never gets out of hand.  "Boys will be boys" they say. As long as we
checking in once a day we were free to roam the range.
	I don't want to gloss over the fact that I was beat and raped, but
I somehow got by it enough to be myself again by Monday morning.  It never
goes away, but with the counseling I got just weeks later, I got through.
So Monday at school I was sure I would be outed by those swine and I had
accepted my fate.  Was I worried? Yes; I was an upstanding citizen, church
going, star actor and president of the Drama Club.  That, I was sure, would
all change.  I had even thought I may loose my home and my family.  That
hurt like knife in my side.  Being of a religious nature, I figured I would
take what god had handed me and run with it.  I found it hard to talk with
my parents knowing full well in 12 hours they may no longer be my parents.
Jeff, I knew he was against gays, always threw the F word around.  I knew
even if my parents were able to see through my faults, I would have to be
protected from my own brother.  He would lead the team in my beat down.
	Strange, when you have a life changing event, it seems at first
like the whole world would change with it.  It didn't. School was normal.
No banners proclaiming my sexuality, no marching band, nothing.  When I had
visited the book store, I felt like every eye on the street was on me, but
I knew I was being paranoid.  This time I expected the same, walked with my
head down, I was sure that everyone knew and were plotting the perfect
moment to pounce.  No pouncing happened in the morning.  I had shirked all
my homework due to the event of the weekend. But when I opened my math book
in 2nd period, I'd had typing 1st period with no homework, out fell a
complete assignment, in my hand writing.  3rd and 4th were English and
Spanish and both with the same result.  None on my teachers were shocked; I
always did my homework, so I was the only one surprised to be handing in
assignments.  Some have fairy god mothers, there are tooth fairies and now
I have a FAIRY FAIRY that gives me porn and does my homework.  People have
got to try this gay thing, there are problems with the system, but there
are some great perks.  The only issue is that my FAIRY FAIRY sucks at
Spanish; I was called to the teacher's desk during study time and lightly
admonished for poor work on my assignment.
	I wasn't hungry at lunch so I just ate a Jell-O cup and two
Tic-Tacs.  Guess my Fairy Fairy decided that now that I am gay I need to
slim down.  Next I am going to find a Jack Russell in my locker.  As I was
finishing my second Tic-Tac, I saw a large shadow approach.  I looked up to
find two large meat heads looming over me.  You guessed it, Ed and Doug.
They appeared to be walking funny, but my assumption was they were sporting
major wood from the mental images they still possed of me on my knees.  I
looked up, my heart in my throat.  Here it comes, time for the outing and
subsequent beating.  Gather round everyone it's my time to be made a pile
of excrement.  I just swallowed.
	Ed began to speak.  James, we are sorry.
	I looked in there faces, this had to be a joke.  No they aren't
sorry, this is a ploy.  They are gonna say how sorry they are, get my guard
down then tell the whole lunch room.
	I countered, "Fuck you, Get it over with, out me tell the world.  I
won't curl up and die; I am ready for the world to know about me.  I will
tell them what YOU did also."
	They looked flabbergasted.  Here they were apologizing and I wanted
no part of it.  They must think I am just some weakling that would take
there apology and run with it.  No, not me.  Then I saw it, a whole bunch
of bruises.  They both had faces that now only a mother could love. 3 black
eyes between them, cuts everywhere, both had abrasions on there necks. They
must have been in the same fight Jeff was sporting a black eye from. Must
have been a wild night.  Doug stood there with his mouth clamped shut.
	  I said it again.  'Fuck you two."
	Ed said it again, "sorry".  And just stood there.  I turned to
Doug, "You gonna speak? Or, are you leaving it all to your lesser half?"
	Ed spoke up.  He feels the same, but his jaw is wired shut. We are
gonna leave, we did our job.  We promise we won't say a word."
	I sat there totally lost.
	Then it hit me. There Job?  They have no job. They are to dumb for
a job. What job are they talking about?  Fuck those bastard, I hope they
rot in hell, with a hair brush in there ass. I didn't get it.  Now they say
they won't say a word, they are not outing me, I am safe? Is this all a
game; is the whole school in on it?  Then I got it.  It is my brother.
They told him.  He had to make sure he got in the first punch, and then
told the parents before I was humiliated in front of the entire school.  My
head collapsed on the table.  I said I was dealing with this, I wasn't.  My
whole world has just changed in the last 4 days and I was out of control.
I was never out of control.
	My parents had made it clear since I was in elementary school that
life was a series of choices and I was in control of myself.  I made the
decision in life; they were just there to advise me.  As I matured I
realized it, I had never felt this out of control.  Even in my deepest
depression, I controlled what I did. I decided I was gay, I decided to
accept it instead of let my emotions stew.  Not anymore.  The rest of my
life depended on someone else, or several people. I knew those people.
What those bastard had told Jeff had put them, it started as two, went to
three, and now the entire school in charge of how the rest of my life
turned out.  I bawled and cried for 20 minutes, there were people talking,
laughing, some sounded worried, others were un-moved.  I was a complete and
total train wreck. There on the lunch room table, I cried myself to sleep.
	I had pulled my shirt over my head when I had cracked, so I saw
nothing.  But I felt it.  Two sets of hands hoisted me up and I was thrown
on a shoulder and carried from the room, outside to a waiting car.  Here
goes it all.  I am being taken to my final destiny.  Funny, they could just
beat and berate me here in school why a car?  Not a word was spoken. I
assume because that way I could not identify a sole.  Still, why the car?
Where are we going?  It all came so clear, so fast.  I could be beat up at
school, called names, but no one can rape and sodomize a person there.  We
are going somewhere no one can find us.  Who is US?  Of course Ed and
Doug. Jeff, sure. They were sporting enough scars, they had to take that
anger back out on something or someone. Make it the fag.  He can take
it. Who else?  The car stopped. I was taken out.  I kept my head covered,
didn't want to know who it was I was going too forced to service.  I loved
my brother, even if he is a gay basher, and if he was to be the one to take
virginity, BACK THERE, I could not face him.  Plus, if everyone remained
anonymous they would not have to kill me.  I know it is cliche, but so
many strange things cross your mind at a moment like that.  I was carried
this time by a single set of hands.  With my eyes covered the other senses
were so keen.  The smell of rotting leaves the feel of a cool breeze.  I
could feel a mist. The sound of water.  Great they brought me to a nice,
quiet park to forever change my life.  My life did change!
	I was laid on a blanket, my shirt was pulled down. My eyes didn't
want to adjust, but slowly they did. I recognized this place. I could not
place it but it was all familiar. I was being cradled, one person no gang,
no tag team.  They gently wiped my eyes, and hugged me tight. For the first
time in 30 minutes I heard a voice.  The voice of my brother.  But not the
voice I expected. Not a yell, but, a purr, but the purr from a lion or a
tiger when they know they are in charge.
	He said "its ok baby brother, I'm here, no one can hurt you
now. Just relax."
	  I was held for what seemed like an eternity, but it was only 10
min.  Jeff started talking.  I tried to talk back, I had so many questions.
	He shushed me and kept going.  "You are the only brother I have in
life.  Anything done to you is done to me and will be dealt with the
same. No one hurts you without hurting me ten fold, which I return 10 fold
back"
	Sobs punctuated his words as my sobs faded.  "We were going to have
a long talk after school.  But that didn't come soon enough. Let's talk
now"
	I felt like an infant being handled.  I was spun around by his huge
arms and I looked at my brother for the first time in days.  He looked
worse than me.  Lines covered his face, there were huge bags under his
eyes, and he had a shiner on his eye.  I could not help but laugh at his
pitiful appearance.  Somehow I knew that he was sincere and I broke again.
How could I have ever doubted this guy?  To think, half an hour ago I
though he was going to break me.  I felt so guilty.  I screamed and hit
myself.  I yelled, I cried that I did not deserve this man as my brother.
He was blown away.....what had he done.  He grabbed my arms and pinned me
to the ground. He shouted "Calm Down" and I did.
	  I started talking.  Spilling my guts and begging forgiveness.  "I
was sure when you heard of me that would be the end.  You are so, so
YOU. How could a football player, the damn captain, accept a gay brother?
You use the word fag more than Fred Phelps.  You talk to you hatred of
fags. You beat people up because they look funny."  Between sobs "I was so
afraid that I would become your ultimate punching bag, the butt of everyone
of your jokes, or worse yet the outlet for you sexual desires like you
friends!"
	Fuck I let that slip. But it seemed to pass like it wasn't heard.
I left it that way.  Slowly the spot we were at was all coming back to me.
This is our spot, Jeff's and mine.  We came here to tell secrets when we
were just little kids.  We weren't little anymore.  Why were we here?  He
saw it in my eyes.
	"I brought you here" he said "Because this is where we used to tell
secrets. But, no more secrets. We are here now to tell truths and to
reconnect.  I forgot what life was like with a little brother, and I won't
let it happen again."
	As he hugged me we cried.  Then I started again.  No prompting, I
just felt like talking, getting this all off my chest.
	"If I go to far stop me" I gushed, and then continued "I have been
gay since I was born.  It never was not in me. I felt it from pre-school
on.  I liked guys since I could walk.  I fantasized about them since before
I could jack off. Make you sick yet?"
	"Continue" he said without a pause.
	"It was only few months ago I came to accept it.  I bought a book,
surfed the net about it for years."
	"I am your brother" he said, then, with a chuckle, he said "I have
a strong stomach, don't leave any details out"
	So I continued "I messed around a bit, mostly before I came out to
myself. They are all straight now, or at lease I think so.  I went to a gay
book store a week ago, bought a dirty video; your friends caught me
watching it.  I guess they told you? What else did they tell you? Are they
gonna out me? So they have the video?" I half smiled "More questions than
answers here...I had a bad weekend, they messed with me in the lunch room
today, then I broke down, and you came in"
	The purr in Jeff's voice turned to alarm "What do you mean they
messed with you? Better not have, they were on strict orders to apologize
and get the fuck out of there.  What did they say?"
	  I was stricken by the change in Jeff's voice and also bewildered.
	"You made them apologize? I thought that was just part of there
plan to out me.  That is what they did was say sorry and leave. I figured
that was just there ploy to fuck with me."  With relief Jeff sighed, "No,
that was not any plan of there's that one was mine. Let's start from the
beginning and run this weekend through together so nothing gets overlooked.
NOT A GOD DAMN THING! Got it?" I nodded
	 "You say they caught you watching a movie"
	 "YES" then I recounted my ordeal of that night up to the point I
was on my knees blowing them.
	Jeff stopped me there. "This is where my story starts.  I had come
up stairs for some milk and cookies, I heard the TV on and I looked in and
saw them, with you on the floor.  My blood boiled.  I grabbed them both by
the hair and drug them off the couch and out the front door.  Bare ass
naked, I didn't care."
	It all came back "That was you? I thought the ghost had done that."
	He laughed "No ghost is that strong, only a really pissed off big
brother." He continued "I found you un-responsive on the floor with that
thing in THERE" Pointing at my butt.
	  I blushed, he was more than blushing, he was beat red with anger
just recounting it all.
	"I carried you to bed, and tried to clean you up.  Went so far as
to steal one of Mom's maxis....Hope she doesn't count them."
	  It was all becoming so clear.
	"I gave you a strong tranquilizer, had them left over from my
wisdom teeth. You didn't want it but you needed it.  I need two, I was so
pissed, but I took none"
	I nodded in agreement "I remember, I though you were a ghost"
	Jeff rolled on, "I blocked the back door with a chair and slept in
the hall all night, Mom and Dad were a bit bewildered in the morning, but I
covered."
	 "I heard, and I heard you out there!" I countered.  He smiled,
"Can't sleep in a kitchen chair, with a baseball bat on my lap, very well,
quite a bit of tossing.  In the morning I drove straight to the hardware
and got a new door lock for out back. I installed that and then left for
some "Errands""
	It was more of a shiver than a nod. Jeff understood.  I was in aw
of my brother.  All this for me, no for himself, but for me.  I started to
realize that this story may get even weirder.  And it did.
	"I had pulled your first porn tape out and in the process it was
destroyed, I am a bit of a bull in a china shop some time.  So, after
borrowing the car and making several stops, I had what I needed.  Two books
and a new video."
	My mouth dropped.  "You put that stuff there?"
	It was his turn to nod.  "So you found it, I hope it all works out
for you.  No pressure, but I think you should seek some help, there may be
some underlying problems from that night"
	He was vague but I got his drift.  This big softy, fuck I'm lucky.
	"Those were put in the drawer, the doors were locked and you were
still out like a light. You looked so peaceful; it was hard to imagine what
you had been through.  I was up as soon as Mom and Dad were in bed.  I sat
outside that door until 3:30 am waiting for those assholes to come back. I
did your home work while I sat there."
	I jumped.
	"Felt you there" I almost screamed "I was up walking around and
could feel something warm and caring just outside."
	He was lost for a second, "Now you're making me blush.  So they
didn't show until late. Fuckers coming to try again, HUH?  This time they
came right to your room.  Luckily they were drunk and fell.  I heard them
and busted around the house. I drug them through the yard to the street
where I and Louie handled the rest."
	"Louie" now he lost me.
	"Louisville Slugger" he said as he rolled his eyes.  Continuing, "I
made it clear that you were to never be harassed or touched again and if
they did, they would have hell to pay.  As a final farewell, I told them
they would be speaking to you today, which they did, and you say they were
friendly??? Dick heads had better have been."
	All this was getting a bit much, but I was hooked, we were both on
a roll and nothing was stopping us now.
	"Finely," he said "I convinced the parents to let you sleep some
more and we headed to church.  Mom and Dad were on me, but I avoided it all
the best I could.  After church, I approached Pastor Dave.  We discussed
homosexuals in a very candid way.  He has a very open mind about gays and
religion. NO PRESSURE again, but if you ever want to talk to him. He seems
like the one.  Of course I am sure he thinks that I am the one struggling
to come out so when you go to see him, Let him know that I am straight."
	I was bawling at this point.  I could not thank Jeff enough and
thanked god for sending him to me.  We talked of some other issues, but all
light things.  When we were done.  We walked back to his car and left for
home.
	As I said, our parents are very laid back. They had received a
phone call, very cryptic. The principal wanted to know why Jeff was seen
carrying me to his car.  They were waiting for us when we got home.
Meeting us at the door, Dad asked if everything was ok. That he had gotten
a call about a problem.
	As if stating that the sky is blue or there is water in the ocean,
Jeff flatly said "Oh, that......James is gay and we needed to talk about it
so we skipped, what's for dinner?"  Pushing past Mom and dad we walked to
our bedrooms and I sighed.  That night of steak and potatoes we talked
about me being gay, and how thinks would change, but also stay the same.
So steak and potatoes for dinner.....Guess my gay diet only lasted one
meal. Oh I almost forgot, FAIRY FAIRYS don't exist, only in my mind, only
big brothers who suck at Spanish.............



Thanks for looking, hope you liked it.  James