Date: Mon, 22 Mar 2004 13:49:56 -0800 (PST) From: Jeremy Benner Subject: My Brother's Affiliation- Chapter 14 TEASER: "Every time I opened my mouth to say, "Wait, slow down." he would hit something inside of me that would shut me up and make me shiver with pleasure." This part of the story includes: rimming, anal sex, kissing _____________________________ My mind wasn't really focused on Ian's hands gently caressing my naked body as I laid back on his bed and looked up at him. I just kept thinking, "In a second he's going to spread my legs and fuck me." And then my conscious would ask me why that was so terrible, and I'd ignore her and just repeat the same thought in my head. Ian obviously couldn't detect my uncertainly because he just kept smiling up at me while he rubbed his hands over my skin. Or maybe he could sense my hesitation, but he was trying to calm me down. Either way, it didn't matter. All that mattered was the fact that in a minute I was going to have my brothers' cock in my ass. In a way I just wanted him to hurry up and stick it in me and get it over with so that I could roll over and go back to sleep. Needless to say, I was not too excited about the idea of being fucked. I sighed to myself when I felt Ian spreading my legs, and I thought, "This is it." but when he began to scoot down the bed, I realized that we were still in "Foreplay Mode." "Hold your legs back," Ian said, lying down on his stomach in front of my pucker, like a little boy lying down on the living room carpet in front of his parents' television set. I did as I was told and hooked my hands under my knees and held my legs back for my brother. When I felt him stroking my asshole with the tip of his tongue, I rested my head back against the mattress and I realized that no matter how many times Ian licks my hole I will always be shocked by the uniquely blissful sensation. It feels so... delicate. And it's such a subtle kind of pleasure but then again it's not. My brother started out slow, running his tongue leisurely up and down my wrinkle, kind of teasing me and giving me chills. Then, he began sucking on it with his full lips while his supple, wet tongue flicked and twisted against it. His doing this made me want to cry out in pleasure, but at the same time I simply wanted to spread my legs wider and shake like a leaf under his smooth tongue. Every so often I'd lift my head and look down over my hardening cock to see Ian's tongue working my asshole, and he'd look up at me and kind of smirk with his eyes as he tongued my hole. I'd stare down at him for as long as I could before the pleasure that was dancing on my pucker got to be too much, and I'd have to drop my head back to the bed and surrender to it. "Ooooh," I cooed when I felt my brother's tongue brushing and driving into my ass harder and more aggressively Ian took this as a sign to eat me out deeper and faster, and before I knew it he had me twisting and groaning under him as his tongue and lips went into overdrive. He started to assertively dig and flick at my butthole with his tongue as if he was hungry for my ass and he desperately needed to lap at every fold and wrinkle of my chute. God, that drove me nuts. I couldn't stop moaning and thrashing about like some bitch in heat. "Hah, you like my tongue, huh?" Ian chuckled against my hole, and I could feel his eyes on me as I was arching my back and shivering to the sensation. Before I could respond, I felt his fingers spreading my cheeks and my asshole apart. That was a fucking unbelievably amazing feeling right there, and I whimpered like a baby and lifted my head to look at him pleasure me. My mouth dropped open and my eyes trembled as I watched my lover's tongue slowly curl and snake over and around my stretched butthole. And I continued to watch as he kissed and sucked it forcefully, but my eyes clamped shut and I fell back against the bed when I felt his tongue drive into my rosebud and lick at the walls of my sphincter. "Ugnn...Ohhh, Hoooh..." I moaned as Ian relentlessly brushed his tongue against my insides It seemed like he has been licking my ass for so much longer than he could have been, but I still whined when his tongue left my asshole. I wanted more of that pleasure. I wasn't ready for him to stick his cock inside me. I opened my eyes and dropped my legs to the bed when I felt Ian sitting up. I knew what was coming next, so I just stared up at him and waited for it. He grinned at me knowingly and reached over me for his lube. "It'll feel so good," he whispered to me as he flipped the lid to the lube open "Yeah... you keep saying that," I said with a touch of uncertainly in my tone, and I thought back to when Ian had winced and groaned in pain when I penetrated him for the first time. "Put your legs back again." I once again hooked my hands under my knees and watched as Ian poured the liquid over my asshole and massaged it in with his fingers. My mind was a blank while I watched him slip a finger into my hole, and my mind remained blank when I felt another finger inside of me. It felt nice, but I couldn't really concentrate on the feeling because I knew in just a few moments I'd have a cock inside of me. "How about a third?" he asked gently "Might as well. You're cock is, what, five fucking inches around?" Ian ignored my rudeness and proceeded to slide his ring finger inside of me. He studied my face as he moved his fingers in and out, but he wasn't hurting me so I just looked back at him. I felt so fucking vulnerable and... open. I didn't really like it. Not like I had liked it that Friday night when Ian got between my legs and fingered me for the first time. I felt so comfortable that night, and I enjoyed the defenseless feeling that swept over me. But I didn't feel comfortable this time. I wanted him to stop, and he knew I did so he removed his fingers from my ass and sat back on his heals. I dropped my legs to the bed and looked up at him. I thought about saying, "What's wrong?" and playing stupid, but I dismissed the idea and decided to say nothing. We stared at each other for a long while and I knew he was waiting for me to say something like, "Why'd you stop? Come on, I want to do this." but I couldn't bring myself to say that. I felt bad, but I really REALLY didn't want a dick in my ass. "Well, hey, it's almost two, so you should get some sleep if you're going to school tomorrow," Ian said, breaking the silence. "You're not going tomorrow?" "Nah I'm... I'm gonna take your advice and stay home and study." I nodded and we looked at each other for a few seconds before Ian grinned at me and got off of the bed. "Hey," I said as he was walking to the door, "Where are you going?" "Downstairs. I'm not tired," he announced and turned so that he was facing me. "Are you sure? I want you to sleep with me..." He grinned and simply said, "I'm not tired." "Maybe you'll be tired if you lay down with me, huh? Just come lay with me for a second." "No thanks, Bry. I want to go downstairs." "Ian, come on. Will you please? I know you're mad at me but just come here, please," I pleaded, outstretching my hand to him He hesitated for a moment but reluctantly sat down on the edge of the bed beside me. I scooted closer to him and rested my hands on his waist and looked into his eyes. He looked back at me with an impatient look that he was trying to hide with a fake grin. "I know you're mad, but... I just... E, I don't want to," I said gently He nodded "Please don't be mad at me..." He turned his head, breaking our gaze, so I turned my head with him, forcing him to look at me again. "Hey... hey... don't be so difficult. Come on, Ian, please. You're acing like a child again." "I am not acting like a child. You are acting like a child. Why don't you want to? Why is this an issue?" "Because I just don't want to," I said shrugging my shoulders, "I shouldn't have to answer to you, you know. It's something I don't want to do. I'm sorry." "Fine, then you'll have to excuse me for being disappointed," he said and started to get up "Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey," I whispered gently, clutching his waist in my arms He turned his head to the side, looking away from me and I hoped to God he wasn't going to cry. If he cried I'd have to kiss him and give in. He always gets what he wants, so I really didn't want him to cry. "Ian, baby, come on." "Don't treat me like a child, Brian," he said firmly, turning his attention back to me, "I'm not trying to make this such a big deal. We can drop it." "But look at you, you're pissed at me. That's not fucking fair. You won't even sleep with me tonight." "I'm not pissed," Ian said, and the fakest fucking smile I have ever seen washed over his face I rolled my eyes and took a deep breath before saying, "I have been so patient with you tonight. Don't act like a fucker on me." "If you can give me a good reason why you don't want me to make love to you and help you experience something that not only feels good physically but also emotionally and spiritually. Something that is so overwhelmingly amazing and beautiful because you are connected with someone you love and care about. If you can give me one good reason then I'll drop the whole thing and I won't mention it again." "Because I have experienced that. I felt all of that when we made love for the first time. If you remember, I was so overwhelmed by how I was feeling about you that I told you I loved you. I have felt all of that, Ian." "But it's different. I would be inside of YOU. I'd be doing all the work to make you feel good and show you how much I care about you. Not the other way around. Brian, why are you so against it? I just want you to experience what I felt when we had sex for the first time. Why is that so horrible?" "It's not horrible. I just... God, Ian... I don't want to. Please respect that." Ian shook his head and brushed my hands from around his waist. "I'm sorry. I've always been interested in anal sex, but I've never wanted to be the one receiving. Maybe it's lame but... I think I'd feel like less of a man or something," I admitted "Oh, so I'm less of a man because I took your cock up my ass?" "No! No, I'm not saying that." "Uh, yes you are, Brian. You just fucking said it." "I wouldn't like it. I don't want to try it. I wouldn't fucking like it." "You don't know that. You haven't tried it. This is annoying and ridiculous. If it's that big of a deal and if you're against it this much then I don't even WANT to do it anymore. And I am NOT being a child! You are being a child. If you'd just let me show you how amazing it is to have someone you care about inside of you, you would definitely like it. Jesus," Ian said and got up from the bed. "You're just spoiled and use to getting everything you want. Well, I don't WANT to do this, and you'll just want to accept that, Ian. I am not giving in to you!" "Well... I wouldn't want you to feel like less of a man, Brian. I'll drop the whole thing. Forget I ever asked," Ian said quietly and walked to the door. "Why do you have to make me feel guilty!" I shouted at him "Because you should feel guilty!" Ian shouted back at me, whipping around, "You're being a prick! You're selfish and ridiculous and YOU are acting immature." "How am I selfish?!" "You don't care how I feel about this! You're so hung up on your own fucking insecurities that you-" "Insecurities? I am not insecure about a damn thing, Ian!" "Oh please. You just fucking told me you'd feel like less of a man if I put my cock up your ass! You're simplifying the experience! You're not seeing it for what it is or for what it could be. You're too worried you'll be a fag or some-" "I never said anything about being a fag!" I felt myself getting pissed "Of course not. But I know that's what you're worried about. Suddenly you'll be gay if I fuck you." This was true. That's how I felt, but I wouldn't admit that to him because it was ridiculous, but fuck... that's how I felt. "You were the one who said 'Lets not label ourselves.' But look at you, you're scared to death of being gay!" "I am not scared of being gay! I'm with you aren't I? I tell you I love you don't I? Jesus, Ian!" "Yes you are with me and you do tell me you love me, but I've gotten a little too personal haven't I? I've asked just a little too much of you, right?" I bent my head down and rubbed my hand over my hair. "You STILL have that wall up. You're gentle and sweet and loving, but you still won't let me get too close to you. Making love to you is pushing it, isn't it? If I make love to you then all of your fears of being a fag will be confirmed, right?" "Stop saying that word," I whispered "Am I right?" Ian asked, gently, "I'm right, aren't I?" I didn't answer him; I just kept my head down and tried to keep all of my emotions down in the pit of my stomach so that I wouldn't burst into tears. "God... this is unbelievable. I'm so fucking confused now. I thought you felt the same way I did. I knew you were worried about being gay, I'm worried too, but I accept it. You're not accepting it. What are you doing with me?" I couldn't bring myself to answer him. I didn't have a clue what to say. He was right. I thought I had accepted the reality of my relationship with Ian, but it's clear that I hadn't. All this time I have worried about being gay, but I don't face my worries because I love to be with Ian. I don't want to think about what it means. I thought I had made up my mind that if I was gay I was gay and that was fine because I love my brother. No one had to know. But... if he fucked me... I feel like I'd be truly and definitely gay. That would be the defining factor. "Wow... ok... alright. Well, obviously we can't do this anymore," Ian said softly "What?" I said, lifting my head and looking at him "I said, 'Well, obviously we can't-" "Ian, God... stop being so hard on me. I'm only human!" This silenced him. "When did we start fucking around? Wasn't it just THREE days ago? Give me a Goddamn break! I'm not use to being with a guy. I'm not use to any of this. You're being too demanding and hard on me. Yes, I don't want you to make love to me because I'm afraid that'll mean I'm gay." "And that's so ridiculous and juvenile!" "But that's how I feel, Ian. That's how I feel! Instead of making me feel like shit and telling me we can't be together anymore can't you just... can't you help me get over this? I mean, can't you just be patient with me?" Ian looked at me for a long while before walking over to the bed and sitting down again. "I just want to be with you ultimately... I want you to feel what it's like," Ian whispered gently, "Why does it matter if you're gay or not?" "Because... I don't know. I'm not ready for that reality." "Brian, you kiss me so passionately and affectionately. You tell me you love me. You tell me you're infatuated with me. You look at me with loving eyes. You touch me gently and tenderly. You make love to me. You tell me you think about me whenever we're not together. You cry over me. You break up with your girlfriend because you want to be with me. You're a completely different person with me. You were jealous of Jessie when we were together. You don't hang out with anyone except me anymore..." I stared at him as he said this and felt like crying which pissed me off. It seems I'm always close to tears lately. "You obviously want to be with me. Maybe you're gay. Maybe I'm gay. Or maybe we're just two guys who have recently realized that they love to be with one another. Can't that be all? What happened to no labels?" I looked down at my lap. I felt so stupid and childish. "Personally, I don't think you're gay and I don't think I'm gay. We were straight all our lives and suddenly after a week we're gay? I don't think that's how it works. We're probably bi." "I'm sorry I'm acting childish," I said and looked up at him "We're even. I was acting childish earlier." I grinned "I wish you didn't feel this way. I want to beat you over the head because you were the one who made me realize that it didn't matter if we were gay or bi or straight." "I know it doesn't matter. It's really the least of our worries seeing as how we're brothers." Ian chuckled and I couldn't help but smile. We were silent for awhile, just looking at each other, before I said, "Do you still want to make love to me?" Ian smiled then said, "Mmhm." "Good." "You sure you want me to?" "Well... it's not that I WANT you to. It's just that you already lubed my ass and all. We've gone through all the proper preparations, so we might as well just do it," I joked, smiling. Ian laughed, "You have a point." I laid back on the bed and put my knees up, resting my feet against the mattress, and my brother got between my legs and began stroking his dick. Once his cock was hard again, he grabbed the lube and poured it into his hand before rubbing the liquid over his cock. "You sure you're not going to change your mind?" he asked me as he stroked his wet dick. I nodded and pulled my knees back to my chest and watched as Ian dripped some more lube onto my rosebud and rubbed it in. This was it. I was going to throw my inhibitions to the side and share my body with my brother. I was going to fully and completely let down my guard and allow him inside of me. My heart was beating wildly, mostly because I didn't know how much this was going to hurt and I didn't know what it would really feel like. Honestly, I wasn't doing this for myself. I wanted to make Ian happy. I was still really nervous and scared about what was about to take place, but I decided that I could get past my fears long enough to see that maybe this wasn't such a bad idea. Maybe I should just trust my lover and give him a chance to make me feel good. Ian lined his cock up with my asshole and said in a soothing voice, "Push out when you feel me pushing in, and if you relax your body it won't hurt so much." When I felt my brothers' dickhead sliding inside of me, I pushed out like he told me to and almost instantly I felt his head gliding through my sphincter. The feeling was intense and overwhelming. It didn't hurt or feel uncomfortable really it just felt... intense. It didn't necessarily feel good either, but I wasn't crawling away. I expected Ian to give me a second to get use to his head, but he continued to push into me and I started to object and say, "Wait, give me a minute." but it wasn't hurting, so didn't try to stop him. Inch after inch after inch slipped into my ass and it felt so weird and intense that I felt like I couldn't even move. "Relax... relax... relax," Ian whispered gently as his thick cock continued to slid inside of me. I couldn't fucking believe how much it wasn't hurting. I was afraid that if I moved or said anything my body would be hit by a sharp, perplexing pain that would make me want to push my brother off of me, so I just laid there and let it happen. When all of Ian's cock was inside of me, he leaned over me and looked into my eyes. "You alright?" "Yeah," I responded and reluctantly let go of my knees and let them balance themselves against my brothers' sides After awhile of staring at each other, Ian slowly began to pull his dick from my ass. It hurt for a split second but then it just felt weird and uncomfortable like when you're flossing and you accidentally floss your gums. It doesn't really hurt as much as it feels strange. You kind of want to floss them again but at the same time you don't want to because it's such a strange and unique feeling. That's how it felt when Ian was pulling out of me, and it continued to feel like that when he pushed himself back in. I felt paralyzed underneath him as this was going on; all I could do was just look back at my brother with a stunned and distant expression. He started to go a little faster which in turn brought on more sensations I have never felt before that made me want to both moan out in pleasure and groan in discomfort. I felt so full and stretched and it was just such an unusual feeling to me that I didn't know what to do with myself. "Feel good?" he asked I couldn't form my response, so Ian must have taken this as a "Yes." because he started to drive into my faster and harder. I gasped and gripped his arms. He smiled at me and kept up his steady, aggressive pace while I melted under him and tried to catch up with his strokes. Every time I opened my mouth to say, "Wait, slow down." he would hit something inside of me that would shut me up and make me shiver with pleasure. I don't know what expression I was wearing, but it made Ian say, "Faster?" Before I could stop myself I breathed, "Yes." and moments later my brother was pounding into me and I was staring up at him wide-eyed and dazed, as pleasure I didn't even know existed raced through my inexperienced body. I couldn't even bring myself to moan for fuck sake. I was so frozen by the sensations traveling through me that I couldn't even tell my brother how good he was making me feel. That's how acute and significant his dick felt inside of me. The pleasure of Ian's manhood rubbing against the walls of my butthole began to dominate the discomfort of it all, and I started to tremble and feel even more helpless and vulnerable to the newfound ecstasy. And as I gazed up my brother, the guy responsible for making me tremor with pleasure, my fears of bring gay seemed so ludicrous and far from me. All I could really think about was the pleasure surging through me, and how much I loved my brother for making me feel so good. Ian leaned down and pressed his mouth to mine, halting his thrusts into my asshole, and I closed my eyes and enjoyed my brothers' lips gently pecking and sucking at mine. I still felt winded and paralyzed even though Ian was no longer fucking me, but as he continued to kiss me sweetly and rub his hand against my face, I calmed down and began to appreciate what was happening between us. I wrapped my arms around my brothers' shoulders and kissed him back just as sweetly causing him to moan against my lips and offer his tongue to me, which I of course accepted. As Ian and I kissed, my asshole began twitching and contracting with anticipation around his dick, so after a short while he once again began driving his thick cock in and out of me. I shivered and kissed my brother harder and deeper in response to his dick manipulating my ass, which in turn caused him to buck into my more urgently. The pain and discomfort was back, but his cock still felt so good, so I didn't object. I just turned to putty under him and let him show me how good it feels to have someone inside of you. "Ohhh Haugh," I moaned, breaking my kiss with Ian and rolling my head to the side against the pillow as he began dicking my ass even faster and harder. I couldn't concentrate on kissing him when his cock was gliding in and out of me so fast. As Ian continuously pounding on my prostate and massaged my anal walls with his cock, I was having a hard time keeping the pleasure of it to myself. I wanted to cry out and express how good he was making me feel, but being the ridiculous, cocky, macho, alpha male that I am, I didn't want to moan out like some loud bitch who was getting a good fuck up her pussy. And I was doing a damn good job of keeping quiet until Ian pulled out of me to change positions. He got on his knees and took my left leg in his hand so that it was raised in the air and instructed me to bend my right leg but keep it laying flat against the bed. I did as I was told and looked up at my brother as he angled himself between my widely spread legs and slipped his cock back inside of me. I immediately cooed to the feeling of being full and stretched by his manhood again. Ian shuffled above me, not really sure how he wanted position himself. I smiled at him to show my patience then immediately began moaning so fucking loud when in less than a couple seconds he quickly bent over me, throwing my leg over his shoulder, and began pounding into me again. "Haaah Haaah Haaah Haaah," I moaned continuously as my brothers' cock repeatedly jabbed at my prostate. The angle of his dick was just right, so without fail Ian would sink into me and stab my gland making me cry out to the feeling. My eyes were clamped shut as I relentlessly moaned and trembled underneath my brother, but I could feel him gazing down at me as I he stroked the side of my face with his hand and maneuvered his dick in and out of me. From a distance I could hear Ian whispering things to me, but I couldn't hear what he was saying over my loud panting and moaning and I'm not sure I could make sense of his words even if it was dead silent. That's just how focused I was on the ecstasy coursing through my body. And when I thought it couldn't get any better, Ian started drilling me even faster and harder and I completely lost it. I clutched the pillow under my head and growled helplessly to the foreign feelings twirling through me, and as they quickly began to get stronger and stronger I thought back to when I was seven and I had played with my cock and gotten scared when this intense feeling (an orgasm) began building inside of me. I didn't know what it was and even though it felt damn good I was afraid it would kill me. As the sensations inside of me grew more urgent, I growled and groaned louder and completely loss control of my body. Oh it felt so good. It was like my body was... ringing with pleasure. Every inch of me was in ecstasy and the pleasure wouldn't let up. My body just kept shaking and buzzing with this indescribable tingling and burning that I had never felt before. And as I was experiencing this powerful, unfamiliar bliss, I felt Ian's cock pulsing and expanding inside of me which made my asshole feel even better. "Oh Brian... Ohhh yes," I heard my brother moaning then moments later I felt something warm fill my ass and I arched my back and gripped the pillow even tighter as my lover shot his cum inside my ass. Ian bucked into me hard and furiously as he came, which stole the air right from my lungs and escalated my pleasure. I don't know how long it was before we both calmed down and relaxed back against the bed panting and whimpering softly, but we eventually did. Ian stayed inside of me for a long while before gradually pulling out of my ass and lying down beside me. After awhile of laying motionless, I finally mustered up enough strength to turn to my brother and nestle my body against his. As I was turning to reach for Ian, my eyes involuntarily glanced down at my stomach and I was completely shocked to see that I had cum all over myself. "Oh wow," I said quietly, dabbing my fingers into my jizz "What?" Ian asked, lifting his head to see what I was looking at. "I came all over myself." "Mmm," he moaned and rubbed my chest "I guess that makes sense." Ian kissed and sucked at my neck as I said, "I didn't think I was cuming though." "Did it feel good?" "Yeah. It felt amazing..." Ian ignored what I was saying and continued to kiss my sensitive skin. He pressed me back against the bed with his hand, so I laid back and allowed my brother to caress my neck with his soft lips and tongue. "You know... it's just weird... because I wasn't jerking off," I said which finally caught my brothers' attention. He lifted off of my neck and gazed down at me. "I wasn't touching my cock at all." "Oh, well, I'm damn good then, huh?" Ian boasted jokingly We both smiled "I knew you'd like it. I didn't know you'd like it that much though." "Me neither," I admitted "I loved the part where you were growling like a fucking beast. That was very nice." I laughed, "I was not growling." "Ohhh baby you were growling alright. You were like-" "Alright alright, maybe I was." Ian smiled We stared at each other for a while, not saying anything, just looking into one another's eyes. I can't handle silence for a very long period of time without getting jittery and feeling like I have to say something, but with Ian it's different. I'm always comfortable with him. We don't always have to speak. "I want to draw you sometime," Ian said gently "Okay." "You're really beautiful." "Beautiful huh?" "Yeah. You have strong features. Your face is very defined and profound. We don't look that much alike really. I have softer features." "You do," I agreed "I'd draw you right now if it weren't..." Ian paused to check the clock, "Almost three in the morning." I groaned and closed my eyes "Take a shower with me." "I don't think I have the energy," I mumbled "I won't force you to fuck me this time." I smiled "Come on. I have to be clean," Ian pressed on "You're a guy, you don't have to be clean. Just fall asleep with me," I said and reached for him "How can you sleep with cum all over you?" "How can you take a shower at 3 in the morning after you have sex?" We argued over this for awhile then Ian said, "Fine, you sleep covered in cum, but I'm going to take a shower and sleep in your room." After hearing that I surrendered and followed him to the bathroom. I wanted nothing more than to cuddle up and fall asleep with my arms wrapped around my brother, so I suppose I could take a fucking shower first. To Be Continued...