Date: Thu, 26 Mar 2020 11:23:19 +0000
From: scrivo4 <scrivo4444@protonmail.com>
Subject: My Cousin Made Me Gay 2

We had a day off from school and James was stretched out on the sofa in his
living room while I sat on the floor with my back against it down near his
legs. We were watching some horrible talk show, laughing and viciously
judging the guests. It didn't take long for his leg to begin to
rhythmically hit my back. During a commercial, I turned back to say
something to him and wasn't surprised to see that his boner was sticking
out of his waistband and that he was fondling it. For the length of the
break, I faced him while we talked, using it as an excuse to watch him play
with his cock.

It had been nearly a month since my realization that I was gay and I was
quickly becoming more comfortable with my new reality. Part of that
included accepting the fact that I thought James was hot. I felt it was
harmless because he was obviously straight and the fact that he was my
cousin would prevent anything from happening. It made complete sense that
he would be my first crush. I spent all my time with him and the fact that
he now waved his cock around like it was nothing only fueled my growing
library of same sex fantasies.

After the commercial, I turned back to the TV but continued to occasionally
look back over my shoulder at him.

Once the show was over, I picked up the remote to find something else
interesting.

"This dry spell fucking sucks," he said. Since that disastrous date, he had
only been out with two girls and neither of them had put out for him.

"Welcome to my world," I said lightly.

We were silent for a moment while I continued to channel surf.

"Promise to not kick my ass if I ask you something?" James's voice was
uncharacteristically hesitant.

"What's up?"

"If I do it to you, will you stroke me off?"

I nearly dropped the remote as I swung my head around to glare at him. I
may have come out to myself but I wasn't yet ready to reveal my secret to
anyone else, especially not to him. "What the fuck?"

"Come on, Mikey." James swung his legs over my head and sat up next to me
while I turned to face him.  His cock remained exposed, trapped between the
waistband of his shorts and in front of his shirt.  Because of its sharp
curve, once it left his waistband, it pointed out toward the TV. The crown
was a dark pink color from his stimulation and there was already a sizeable
wet stain on his shirt from the precum that had dripped onto it. He
continued to rub and squeeze his cock while he talked. "You know it'll feel
nice to have someone else's hand on you."

Though I had never actually considered touching him, faced with the chance
I wanted to do it but didn't want to seem eager. And the fact that this
came out of nowhere helped solidify my disbelieving tone. "I agree that it
would, but seriously?"

"Yeah. Just between us." James pulled the remote out of my hand. He then
gripped my wrist and guided it toward his dick.

I resisted the pull for a moment and looked up into his eyes. It was easy
to see the arousal there.

"Please?" he asked in a soft, pleading whisper.

Trapped in his eyes, I allowed him to lead my hand to his cock. He took his
time and used both of his hands to wrap mine around his thick length. When
he saw that I held it of my own accord, he released his hold on me and slid
over so I was positioned between his legs. He then hooked his thumbs in the
waistband of his basketball shorts and pulled the elastic down and away
from his shaft as he leaned back.

With an excited uncertainty coursing through me, I asked with my
nervousness evident, "You won't tell anyone?"

"Promise," he said softly as he thrust upward gently pushing his cock
through my loose fist.

With that word barely out of his mouth, I slowly moved my hand up his
length. After getting passed the fact that I was actually holding James's
cock, my cousin's cock, I focused on what I was doing.

Up close and personal, it was really an ugly cock but in that moment it
didn't matter. It was much thicker than I thought and my small fist did not
completely close around it. Though it was unquestionably hard, it had a
slight give when I squeezed it that I assumed was due to its fleshy
girth. There were more than a few irregular ripples in the flesh along its
length that the prominent veins enhanced. From my position looking at the
bottom side of it, I could see the skin just below his crown pucker as my
fist moved it up over the two wide lobes that flanked his piss slit. When
it retreated, a sticky thread of precum often followed in the valley
between them. It didn't take long before my fist became wet with his
natural lubricant. I looked up to James's eyes and saw him watching me
intently. "You are really a leaker."

"I know." His voice was soft with arousal. "Sorry."

I knew he wasn't because he flexed his cock intentionally for a long moment
and in the process pushed out more precum.

We lapsed into silence. As I had seen him do countless times, I confined my
slow, steady strokes to the top half of his length. Though he produced a
constant flow of precum, periodically his cock would flex, intentionally or
reflexively, and push out a thicker stream of the substance. I didn't have
to do much in order for it to lube his length under my fist but
occasionally I copied his technique and used my thumb to spread it over his
crown.

Though I was focused on his cock in my hand, I was very aware of my own
erection. In a Pavlovian response, from the moment his leg began brushing
against my back I had been hard. Now, while I stroked his cock, my own
twitched and jerked with unfettered arousal. Though not nearly as much as
James, I could feel my dick push out precum, wetting my boxers and most
likely soaking through my shorts. I wanted to reach down with my free hand
and squeeze it to find some relief but knew that would give me
away. Irrationally, it was okay for me to stroke James off but to stroke
myself off while doing it would show that I was enjoying myself more than a
straight guy should. Instead, I tried to ignore my dick as much as
possible. It was easy to do with the size of the one in my fist. I had been
curious about it from the first time I saw it but could never bring myself
to talk about it. I knew now was my chance but didn't want to appear as if
I had been checking him out. Trying to keep the arousal out of my voice as
much as I could, I said, "Don't get weirded out. I'm not really comparing,
but yours is much bigger than mine. How big is this?"

"It was just over nine and a half inches the last time I measured a few
months ago." Even if I hadn't been looking at his face and saw the smug
pride on it, it was easy to hear it in his voice. "I stopped measuring
because it was growing as fast as I was."

Since the first time I saw him jerk off in the movie theater, we had both
experienced some growth spurts that moved us closer to our final
heights. He had hovered around half a foot taller than me for most of our
lives, but over the past few months, as he hit the final stages of puberty,
he had outpaced me and seemed to be growing nonstop. Taking after his
mother's side of the family, he was now a substantial six feet three inches
tall, significantly taller than my five feet five inches. Whatever
remaining baby fat he had possessed had now disappeared from him resulting
in a tight, defined body. To enhance it, he had started working out on a
weight set his parents had bought him for Christmas. I occasionally sat
around and talked to him while he worked out, ashamed of my voyeurism.

Hearing that his cock had grown during his last growth spurt filled me with
an arousal born of intimidation. My own had grown nearly half an inch over
the course of the year. If his had grown by the same amount, that would
make it around ten inches long. If the growth, like his height, was in
excess of mine, then chances were good that I was now holding close to a
foot of cock in my hand. Momentarily dropping my guard, I ran my hand along
the entire length. "Wow."

"I know." James gave a soft groan and thrust his hips up, helping to push
his length through my fist a few times. "I think that's why I've been so
horny lately. I think about how big my cock is and I end up getting hard. I
try to ignore it, really. But the more I try not to think about it, the
more I think about how big and hard it is. Then the more I think about not
touching it, the more I have to touch it. Pink elephants, you know?"

I understood. The more you try not to think about pink elephants, the more
you think about them.

James gave a little chuckle. "I even did it in class the other day."

"What? Really? You jerked off in class?"

"Couldn't help it." He looked somewhat embarrassed by the fact. "It was the
morning I woke up late. I normally take care of it before school but didn't
get a chance. You know how boring Mr. Romero is?"

I nodded. Mr. Romero was the history teacher everyone hated. He was a good
guy but his classes were sleep inducing, especially for sleep deprived
teenagers first thing in the morning.

"Well, I zoned out because he was droning on about some ancient king. Next
thing I know, I'm sitting there with my cock out stroking it."

My fist stopped for a moment and my mouth dropped open. "What?"

"Yep. Full on stroking. I had heard someone cough which brought me out of
my head and I realized I was just going at it. Fly of my jeans open and
cock sticking out of my boxers."

"Fuck, man." I resumed stroking him in order to divert my attention from my
own throbbing dick. "That's ballsy."

"Yeah. I sit near the back just off center. Everybody around me was trying
not to stare but I knew they were watching."

"No shit?"

"Seriously." James slid down further in the sofa and resumed thrusting up
into my fist. He moved his right hand under his shirt and began rubbing it
over his abs. "And I don't know how Romero didn't notice because the
fucking thing was peeking up over my desk drooling cock snot like it is
now."

"Wow."

"I know. And I just kept going. Didn't give a shit. I figured it was
already out there and I was horny so why not."

I shrugged in response, unsure of what to say.

We lapsed into silence while I continued to work his dick. The wet sound of
my fist moving along its surface crackled in the air. Again, I had a moment
of disbelief that I was stroking my cousin's cock and couldn't wait to be
alone to blow my own load. Thinking about busting my nut made a question
pop into my head. "What did you do about your load? You don't exactly shoot
a small amount?"

"It went under the desk," he said casually. "When I got close, I pointed it
up under the desk and deposited it next to the gum and other shit stuck
there. I had to keep my legs open to make sure it didn't drip back down
onto me." He laughed out loud. "I feel sorry for whoever sat there after I
left. Not only was there jizz dripping from the desk, but I left a few
puddles on the floor. After I finished shooting, I let my cock hang out of
my pants until the end of class so it could drip onto the ground."

I couldn't help chuckling myself. "You are messed up."

"Nothing else I could do." He let out a groan. "I can't even tell you how
good this feels. I'm gonna come soon."

"Go ahead," I said. After hearing the story about him jerking off at
school, I didn't even try to hide the arousal in my voice. "Shoot it."

Without increasing my speed, I shortened my strokes the way I had seen him
do, focusing almost entirely on the head of his cock. He began to thrust
more insistently into my fist and I heard his breathing become heavier.

"Oh, fuck," he said with a growl. "Here it comes."

I felt his cock stiffen in my hand and saw the crown swell even larger. As
my fingers rubbed over the thick ridge of his head, feeling it become
firmer, the first shot left his cock.

Though I couldn't be certain, I was sure I didn't imagine the wet sound it
made, like water being forced out of a kinked hose. The thick, white stream
rose into the air and because I was holding his cock near vertical, it
completed a shallow arc before falling back to my wrist. Even while that
first volley was completing its fall, a second larger stream was
expelled. Six more followed, eventually coming to rest in various spots
between my forearm and my hand. Each one was accompanied by a powerful flex
of his cock. It recoiled quickly each time as it pumped out his sizeable
load.

Even after the peak of his orgasm passed, I could feel wavelike pulsations
travel the length as a thick stream of cum continued to flow from his
tip. I pulled his cock toward me slightly and watched it flow over my
fingers, down his shaft and disappear over his balls into his shorts that
he was still holding open. Through it all, I continued to slowly move my
fist, feeling whatever friction that remained fade as his load coated
everything. The smell of it was strong and I couldn't help taking a few
deep breaths to savor the scent.

"Damn," he said after releasing an explosive breath. "That was
good. Thanks, man."

I shrugged. No response I could think of would sound casual, like it wasn't
something I would eagerly do again. Instead, I went with the
practical. "I'll go get some paper towels."

I began to stand and immediately regretted it. A shuddering breath left me
as my body began to convulse and a groan stretched out my curse of
surprised embarrassment. "Aw, fuck."

My own neglected erection began to pump the contents of my balls into my
shorts. When had I moved, the friction against my boxers was enough
stimulation to push my arousal over the edge. I collapsed back to the floor
and rested my head on James's leg as I rode my own wave of pleasure. My
hips gently thrust and bucked erratically of their own accord against
nothing as I pushed out my own load. It was simultaneously the hottest and
most embarrassing thing that had ever happened to me.

Above me I heard James let out an awed curse before he began to
chuckle. "Does this mean I don't have to jerk you off now?"

---

"Can I get a hand?"

I looked over to James and was not surprised to see him stroking himself on
his bed.

Since the afternoon we had off school, James had not been shy about asking
me for a hand job. He was still in a dry spell so about once a week he made
his request. Though it didn't help squash my crush on him, I no longer
worried about it. If my straight cousin was cool with me working his cock,
then I wasn't going to worry about it either. He often promised
reciprocation but I never felt his hand on my dick. I got so hard from
rubbing him that by the time he came, I would be ready to shoot my load
onto the floor and only needed a stroke or two from my own hand.

Without hesitating, I climbed out of my bed and sat next to him on the edge
of his, pulling my leg underneath me. "You really need to get laid."

"You're telling me?" James put both of his hands behind his head and
watched as I took control of his cock. "Not that I'm complaining because it
feels good, but I'm about sick of your hand."

"I don't feel so great about it either," I lied.

"I mean, I'd even settle for a blow job if I could get it."

My hand stopped moving and I looked up and saw James eyeing me in much the
same way he had when he first suggested that we swap hand jobs. Though my
stomach tightened with excitement, I was not yet prepared to suck dick,
especially not his. "No."

"Come on." He gave me an infuriatingly sexy smile that had always made me
change my mind even before I realized I had a crush on him. "Just once?"

His smile didn't work this time. I gave him a flat stare though I had
resumed moving my fist over his cock. "Dude. I might be okay rubbing your
cock but I'm not going to suck it. Even if you say you'll suck mine," I
added quickly when I saw him open his mouth to speak.

"Fine," he said with a pout.

I thought that was the end of it but I should have known better.

A few weeks later, we were in my room after school doing homework. I was
again on the floor against my bed and he was sitting on his. When his cock
inevitably started to grow I watched him play with it until after it got
hard and thought he was going to take care of it himself. Instead, he stood
and hooked his shorts beneath his balls before crossing the small distance
between us. I watched as his cock approached with a short but heavy thread
of precum threatening to fall from its tip. When he was close enough, he
placed a hand on my head and aimed his cock at my mouth with the
other. Instinctually, I opened and felt him fill the void with his wide
head. It wasn't until he had set up a slow but steady pace fucking my mouth
that I realized what was happening. I began to push at him and make sounds
of protest but he didn't stop.

"Come on, Mikey," he said with a soothing tone. "It's already in
there. Just let it happen."

Though I wasn't happy, I stopped struggling and relaxed. I was now giving
my first blowjob. To James. To my cousin. I didn't do anything other than
sit there holding my mouth open but James was soon moaning his pleasure.

Too soon and without warning, his cock exploded. I tried to swallow as much
as I could but most of it flowed out of the corners of my mouth and dripped
down my chin onto my shirt. It seemed like forever before his cock stopped
drooling the dregs of his ball juice into me and he pulled out.

James backed up and sat on the side of his bed eyeing me. After what seemed
like a year's worth of silence, he asked, "Are you ready to tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"That you're gay."

I was shocked. Aside from the fact that I had just sucked his cock, I
didn't think anyone knew. For a split second I wanted to deny it but knew
now was my chance to be honest. "How did you know?"

"I guessed it." He lifted one of the corners of his mouth. "But eating that
popcorn covered in my jizz kinda gave you away."

"Shit," I muttered as I felt the heat of embarrassment color my cheeks.

"After that," he continued, "I started noticing things. You hadn't dated in
a while and when you did, you just went through the motions. You were not
subtle about checking out dudes. And you've been checking me out."

I started to protest but he stopped me.

"It's cool. And flattering." He came over, sat on the bed next to where I
was still on the floor and placed a hand on my shoulder. "You're a good
looking guy, and while I don't go that way, I have no problem if you want
this every once in a while." He pulled on his still exposed, dribbling cock
for emphasis. "You wouldn't be the first guy."

That surprised me. "Really?"

"Yeah," he said casually, like it was something that everyone did. "Don't
tell anyone but I've been fucking Steve for a while."

"I don't believe you."

James shrugged. "Says he's straight but likes dick every now and then. He
hit me up in the locker room last year and eventually talked me into
letting him blow me. Next thing I know, he was riding my dick and it was
good. Not as good as pussy, but good enough to work when I needed it. I
actually lied when I said I hadn't been getting any. I've dicked him a few
times at work."

Steve was a friend of his who had graduated last year who worked at the
same repair shop and had actually gotten James the job there. He was now
married to a former cheerleader and had a kid. In school, he'd been the
type of guy that liked to play grab ass in the showers but because of the
number of girls he'd been with, no one ever thought he was less than
straight. Apparently, his horseplay was the perfect cover for what he
really wanted.

"What I'm trying to say is that we're cool. You're still my cousin and my
best bud. Nothing's going to change that. Well, hopefully somethings will
change," he added as he shook his cock for emphasis.

I sat there trying to process everything that had just transpired. Not only
did James know I was gay, he didn't care. More than that, he was cool with
guys on his cock and seemed to want me on it. I should've been annoyed that
he'd lied about not getting laid, but with the fresh crack in my own closet
door, I couldn't judge him for not wanting to share that he'd been fucking
Steve. Pushing all of that to the side to deal with later, I said stupidly,
"But you're my cousin."

"Hasn't stopped you from staring at or playing with my dick so far," he
tossed back immediately. "Look, I'm not asking you to get married. It's not
like I'm going to knock you up and put a two headed baby in you or
anything. It's just busting a nut. We spend enough time together, why not
take advantage of that?"

I couldn't argue with that. "So you knew. Why didn't you say anything?"

James gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze. "Dude, I don't think you knew. Or
you were so closeted that if I had said it you would've denied it and never
come out. So I figured seeing cock regularly would help your
cause. And-you're going to hate me-I haven't had a dry spell. I wasn't
getting any pussy because I was trying to get you to admit you liked dick."

"You're right. I hate you." I fumed silently for a bit, but couldn't be too
mad at him. It was true that if it hadn't been for seeing James's cock
regularly, it probably would've taken years for me to recognize what my
truth was.

"I'm sorry for lying to you but not sorry for what happened. Be mad all you
want, but you know I was just looking out for you. Now, wipe your face," he
said as he pulled up his shorts. "You look like a fucking slut. And the
next time I ask you to suck my dick, you better not say no."

I didn't.

We were up in his room one evening. My parents were downstairs with his
parents and younger sister having one of their game nights. He and I had
eaten our fill then gone to his room to play some video games.

After one round of a boxing game, he turned to me and smiled. "Ready to
practice your cock sucking?"

"Well, that's subtle," I said sarcastically.

"No use beating around the bush," he said as he pulled down his shorts and
moved to sit on the side of his bed. "And don't act like you don't want to
do it."

My only response was to crawl between his legs and take his already
swelling cock in my hand. I lowered my head and felt his still puckered
foreskin touch my tongue. Though his cock had already been in my mouth,
this time I took the time to take in the experience. I could taste the
salty flavor of his skin and the stale, sour taste of urine. With my nose
so close to his crotch, I could also smell those same scents along with
that of his fermented, earthy musk, a scent I was very familiar with from
sniffing his shirts. It didn't take long for me to feel the smooth, soft
skin of his cock head extend out of its sheath.

With his cock more than half hard, I began to try to do my best to service
it. Drawing on the things I had enjoyed the times I had been blown, I began
to run my tongue around his crown, occasionally pushing it into his rapidly
retreating foreskin. In those soft folds and along the thick ridge of his
head, I could taste a gritty, muskier substance which I later learned was
his cock cheese.

"Fuck, that's good," James said. He placed a hand on my head and gently ran
his fingers through my hair.  "Seems like you're a natural. You sure this
is your first time sucking dick?"

I knew it was a compliment and felt my stomach flip with happiness, yet I
pulled off and glared at him.  "Actually, it's not. The first time, my
mouth was getting fucked before I knew what was happening."

"I think I'd realize what was about to happen if a guy walked up to me and
pointed his dick at my mouth," James tossed back.

He had a good point but I refused to acknowledge it.

My jaw stretched to accommodate his growing girth as I went back to
work. While my tongue continued to play over the portion that was in my
mouth, I began to slowly fist the bottom of his shaft. Even before he was
completely hard, I tasted the precum that began to flow into my mouth. A
mix of bitter and sweet, it had a clean, fresh taste that was unexpected.

"You really like this shit, don't you?"

While I was drinking down his dick lube, I had begun pawing my own erection
and letting out soft moans of enjoyment. Without removing his cock from my
mouth, I looked up at him and gave him a wink, figuring there was no need
to pretend I wasn't.

I had just reached my hand into my shorts, intending to go ahead and whip
my cock out when there was a knock on his door. I stood quickly and
adjusted myself while he tucked his cock away. Because he was freeballing
again, I went to the door as he grabbed a game controller and held it over
his lap and faced the TV. Though my own erection was noticeable if you
looked for it, I hoped my shorts were heavy enough to hide it in the folds
of fabric.

"Why is the door locked?" his sister asked when I opened it.

"'Cause we're trying to shoot up a bunch of pot," James said over his
shoulder to her as he feigned interest in the game.

"You don't shoot up pot," she responded, not catching the sarcasm.

"What do you want?" James asked her in a more friendly tone.

After spending more time talking to her than either James or I wanted, she
eventually left us and went to her own room.

"Fuck, that was close," I said after relocking the door.

"Yeah, but kinda hot," James said as he pulled his shorts back down. He was
still hard and slowly stroked himself while I retook my position between
his legs. "Getting caught with my gay cousin sucking my dick.  Hey. When
are you going to tell everyone?"

"I don't know," I said as I took over stroking him. "Soon. I'm just not
ready yet."

"Waiting to perfect your cock sucking skills first? What's the point? It's
not like you're suddenly not going to be gay."

"True."

"Well, you know I have your back." James leaned back on one elbow and
guided my head back onto his cock with the other. As I resumed working his
cock, he let out a sigh followed by continued words of encouragement that
were interspersed with curses and sounds of pleasure. "Fuck, yeah, man. I
know you can take care of yourself, but if anybody gives you grief at
school, I'll help you kick their ass. Shit. Do that again. And I-that's
nice-think your parents are cool enough to deal with it. Just rip the
bandage off. Oh, fuck. The longer you wait, the harder-fucking suck it-it's
going to be. Oh, shit, man."

He had begun thrusting up into my mouth and devolved into wordless sounds
of pleasure. I could feel a heavier flow of precum enter my mouth and knew
it wouldn't be much longer before he came. Not needing to hold his rigid
cock any more, I reached down and fished out my own neglected erection.
While he continued to fuck my mouth, I jerked my dick just about happier
than I'd ever been.

"Fuck, yeah," James said. "Get ready."

Wanting to do a better job than I did the first time, I braced myself and
when his cock started shooting, I pulled back until just the tip was in my
mouth and returned to stroking his length with my hand. With the extra
space, I was able to hold more of his load in my mouth but still did not
succeed in swallowing all of it. The overflow quickly pushed out the
corners of my mouth and dripped down my chin and his cock. While what was
contained inside my mouth waited to be consumed, I could taste the warm
fluid.  On the surface, it had mostly the same flavor as his precum but
there was a greater depth to it. The alkaline scent that I had often
smelled in his shirts was present along with an earthy undercurrent.

I took his cock deeper in my mouth once the force of his shots subsided and
resumed stroking my dick while I swallowed the rest of his load. It didn't
take long for me to begin shooting my own load against his bed and on the
floor while I thought about how great it had been to suck off my cousin and
drink his load. Whatever questions I may have had about my sexuality were
answered. I liked dick. Even after my orgasmic wave passed, I continued to
suckle on his shrinking cock, wanting every bit of the load that was still
dribbling out.

"Fuck, that was good," he said breathlessly. After a few moments of heavy
breathing passed while he caught his breath, he let out a chuckle. "You can
stop now. I promise to let you suck me off again."

Even though his self-imposed dry spell ended and he was back to fucking
girls regularly, James continued to stick his cock in my mouth and I didn't
complain.

"I'm not just saying this to blow smoke up your ass," he said one afternoon
while I was servicing him.  "But you are fucking great at sucking
dick. Never really had any good head until you. Even Steve isn't this
good. I wish I had known this sooner. Fuck."

I also wished I had known how much I would love sucking him off. Taking his
cock into my mouth was always a thrill. While I was still honing my
technique, I had quickly learned how to give him slow, lingering blow jobs
that somewhat mimicked the hand jobs I had given him. Second only to
feeling his cock pulse as it filled my mouth, I loved taking the time to
lick along its entire length slowly, especially after his precum had begun
to flow down it. Being able to do it when he was wet and sweaty after we
had been out playing ball or he had been working out made it that much
better. The musky, sweaty scent that emanated from his crotch was almost as
pleasurable as the flavor of his cum in my mouth.

While I was happy taking care of James, I also realized that at some point
I'd have to start actually dating guys. Shortly after my fifteenth
birthday, I finally told the family and had been surprised when they said
they were happy I finally realized it. They had noticed my tendencies years
ago but let me find out for myself.

My Dad had said, "Son. The way I see it, it's no different than you telling
me you have blond hair. I already know. And I don't care. And just like
with your brother and sister, I expect to meet your dates and I will
embarrass you and I will make their lives miserable if they hurt you. And
when you find the one and you're ready to settle down, I'll be there to
celebrate."

While most of me was happy to hear that, a part of me was upset that
apparently the only person I had been keeping the secret from was
myself. Even my friends took it in stride and more than a few echoed
James's vow to go to bat for me if necessary.

"So...you ready to get fucked?"

James and I were in my room talking about the future when he not so subtly
asked the question.

Dumbstruck, the only thing I could utter was, "What?"

"When are you going to let me pop that cherry?"

I stared at James in disbelief. Though I had accepted my homosexuality, I
had not even considered sex. I had yet to even kiss another guy. In the
back, most deepest recesses of my mind I knew it would happen but I wasn't
there yet. And I definitely wasn't ready to let James stick his huge fuck
stick up my ass. Yet what came out of my mouth was, "You want to?"

"Fuck, yeah," he said eagerly. He began stroking his growing cock through
his shorts. "And not just because it's a virgin hole. Maybe it's jealousy
but I don't like the idea of some rando sticking his dick in you then
dumping you. Hell, you know what guys are like, you've done it to a few
girls. At least with me, you know we're always going to be family and
buds."

He then gave me that sexy smile while he lifted the leg of his shorts and
slapped his erection in his hand a few times. "Besides, you know you want
it."

While I got to my knees in order to service him, I began to think about
it. For as scared as I was, I did want him to fuck me but I knew I wasn't
ready, mentally or physically. I also knew that whenever I was ready to go
down that road, I'd want James to be there with me. While I was not deluded
enough to think that we'd have some sort of happy future, I knew he was
right. My first time would be better with him than it would be with anyone
else that might come along.

I turned him down that day but with the idea planted, I began to think
about it more. At some point, the idea of James fucking me became less of
an afterthought and more real in my mind. While I began to think about
sticking my dick up some of my classmates' asses more, the thought of James
sticking his cock in mine became more real and obtainable.

"Mikey? You ever gonna let me have a piece of your ass?" James asked one
evening shortly after our summer break began. We were in my room and my
parents were downstairs with his parents enjoying a few bottles of wine.

I was again sucking him off when he posed the question. As ready as I could
be, pulling out my best snark I said, "If you think you're man enough to
take it, go for it."

"Really?"

"Really." As I stroked his cock, my next words were chosen to hit his
pride, which I knew would get to him. "I just hope it's worth it."

James immediately saw through me. In a serious tone that he rarely directed
at me, he said, "It will be.  But I'm not going to do it unless you really
want me to. Not going to lie, I would love to pop that cherry, but if you
don't want it to be me, that's cool. I'm not going to pressure you. Bug
you, tease you, sure. But no pressure. You're not just a hole to me and I
don't want to make you do it unless you're ready. Getting you to suck my
dick is one thing, fucking you for the first time is something completely
different."

"I do want you to do it," I said before I could restrain myself. "It has to
be you. I'm just... I don't know if I can take it."

"You'll be fine," he said. "We'll be fine. Yours won't be the first ass
I've broken open. I've taken care of you so far, right?"

I nodded. For better or worse, James had been a good partner in my sexual
evolution.

"Just think what it'll be like once we start fucking. We'll both end up
getting something we want."

Ignoring the casual way he assumed this would be an ongoing thing, I looked
him directly in the eyes and said, "Fuck me."

"You got it."

As if he had done this regularly, he grabbed me and effortlessly stripped
me then positioned me on my stomach on his bed.

"Oh, shit," I said with a gasp as his tongue touched my asshole. It was the
first time anyone had been near my ass and I did not expect the sensation
to be so immediately pleasurable. If this was going to be a regular part of
getting fucked, I was all in.

"Don't get too excited," James said softly. "Just getting you ready. An ass
is an ass. Just because I'm willing to get your hole loose and wet for my
cock doesn't mean I'm gonna start sucking yours."

I laid there enjoying James tonguing my ass while trying not to be too
nervous about what was going to happen once he finished. When he inserted
one then two fingers into me, I restrained the sounds of discomfort from
being penetrated. I had played around back there a few times, but his
fingers were the first thing to ever breach me and beyond the discomfort,
it was an odd sensation that wasn't unpleasant.

James slowly fingered me. He fucked them in and out as well as gently
scissored them open to stretch me as he continued to mouth around my
opening to keep it slick. After a few minutes he added a third finger and I
felt the discomfort of being opened turn to a low-level pain. As he
continued to work my ass, I could recognize that at some point the pain
could be something desirable, but in the moment it simply hurt.

"I think you're ready," he announced.

I could feel that my ass was looser but wanted to disagree. Not only did I
still feel sore, the pain seemed to have grown while he used his three
fingers inside me. Even now, after he had pulled his fingers out, I still
felt a good amount of aching in my sphincter.

As James placed a pillow next to my head and another under my hips, he
said, "It's going to hurt so just bite down on this. Don't want your
parents running in thinking I'm killing you or something. Next time I'll
use some lube, but I gotta pop your ass dry."

I wanted to protest, to stop him, but I also agreed with him. If I was
about to lose my virginity, while I didn't welcome the pain, it was hot
thinking about James giving me such a primal fuck. With the pillow under my
head at the ready, I felt the mattress shift and assumed it was James
undressing. He then laid his naked body atop mine. His long legs paralleled
mine and he hooked his feet around my ankles holding them open. I felt his
cock sandwich itself between my ass cheeks and wetness from the tip dripped
onto my lower back. Even though he wasn't trying to enter me, I was
suddenly aware of how thick his cock was. There was no way his three
fingers came close to approximating the girth I felt spreading my cheeks
apart. My fear grew when he lowered his chest to my back and, because of
his greater height, he rested his head on the bed just above mine as he
began to hump his cock against me.

"You ever fuck a girl's ass?"

"No," I responded. Even I could hear the anxiety in my voice but he ignored
it.

"Okay." He exhaled deeply above me. "So unlike a pussy, once I get the head
in, from what I've been told, it's best if I don't stop moving until I'm
all the way in. If I pull out, you won't let me back in. It's going to hurt
like hell but eventually it'll feel good. You ready?"

"If you keep asking," I said testily, "I'm going to say no. Just do it."

"Just remember you said that," he whispered with some darkness in his tone.

Even with the dread I felt, or because of it, I found his attitude slightly
sexy and shivered in response.

He raised his torso and hips, dragging his cock head back along my crack
until it was below my asshole, then spread my cheeks with one hand. After
he dribbled some more spit onto my puckered opening and spread it around,
he moved his crown into position. James then took a little time to spread
precum over my entrance with his tip mixing it with more saliva before he
pressed into me.

Knowing that it was going to hurt didn't prepare me for the pain. I bit the
pillow and screamed into it as his thick, wide crown penetrated me. Unlike
the gentle spreading I had felt with his fingers, it seemed like my ass was
being ripped open as his cock entered me. My flesh was being cleaved in two
and a fire unlike anything I had felt before radiated out from my ass. In
agonizing pain, I bided my time, waiting for the largest part of his
cock-the area just below the flared ridge of his head-to enter me, certain
that after that it would be smooth sailing. When my ring finally registered
the crown passing into me, there was a redoubling of pain as his thicker
shaft followed insistently. I continued to cry out and pant into the pillow
as he pushed more into me before pulling back slightly. At the edge of my
consciousness, I recognized him pausing to dribble more spit around where
his cock entered me before he resumed his forward motion. With slow but
purposeful thrusts that were intermittently broken by him spitting on my
hole, inch after inch of his length passed into me.

I wish I could say it got better, that I started to enjoy the feel of his
cock inside me, but my entire body was a hyper-sensitive bundle of nerves
centered on my asshole. It seemed as if I could feel each of the ripples
and imperfections along his length as he slid deeper into me. Whenever he
shifted position, adjusting himself slightly for better leverage, the tug
against my ring was like a hot poker setting off focused sparks of pain
that shot through me.

Just as I finally felt his pubic hair against my ass, there was a knock at
my locked door.

"You boys okay?" my mother asked.

"Yeah," James immediately responded.

Still buried in the pillow, I closed my lips tight as tears of pain flowed
out of my eyes. I was afraid to move. I worried that if I tried to lift my
head from the pillow to say anything to my mother, only a scream of agony
would escape my lips. And even if I managed to hold it in and say that I
was fine, there was no way my voice would be steady enough to not cause her
further worry.

"What was that screaming?" she asked, not quite convinced.

"Nothing," James yelled to her. "Mikey's just frustrated by the game. I
laid it on him and all he can do is take it."

"You boys take those games too seriously." Her disdain for the video games
we played was obvious in her tone. "James, your parents left. Let them know
if you're staying or not. We're going to bed so try to keep it down,
please."

"Yes, ma'am," he responded.

"Night, Mike."

I took a deep breath and lifted my head just enough to croak out, "Night."

"You okay?" James asked me sounding only half-concerned as my face fell
back into the pillow.

Though I was becoming accustomed to the pain, I still was reluctant to
speak and responded to him with a shake of my head.

"I don't know if this helps, but you're taking it like a champ."

It didn't and I raised a hand giving him the bird in response.

He shifted on top of me and out of the corner of my eye I saw him reach for
his phone. I whimpered as each one of his movements ran down through his
dick to pull at my already strained hole. It seemed like I could feel even
the minor motion of his fingers moving across the screen bringing its own
pain. I turned my head away from the pillow and glared at him with some
disbelief.

"Sorry," he said as he typed a series of messages back and forth with his
parents. "Just want to get it done."

I was a bit put off by being ignored while impaled on his cock, but it did
give me a chance to relax and become more accustomed to the thickness
inside me. Even though he was mostly still now, I could feel his cock
jerking and twitching within me. By the time he put his phone back on the
table next to the bed, a good amount of the pain had subsided. That's not
to say it was pleasant, it simply was no longer the searing, focused pain
that I had felt before.

"Done," James said as he lowered his chest to my back. He gripped each of
my hands in his as I felt him rest his head against mine. His loose, long
hair fell around us, shutting out most of my view of the room, making the
situation seem intimate even though it was anything but. "Shit, man. I
can't believe I've got my dick in you."

"Think how I feel," I said through gritted teeth. Though I was finally able
to speak, it was still a struggle not to give voice to the pain I continued
to feel.

While I acknowledged that I was born gay and that substantively nothing had
changed about me, in my conscious mind it felt like I had only been gay for
a few months. In that time, all of the same sex experiences that I'd had
were with my straight cousin. And now James was fucking me for the first
time.  While I could easily wrap my mind around sucking him off, even now
with his cock in my ass, it was still a little weird that he was also going
to be the one to fuck me for the first time. "You pulled me out of the
closet and now you're taking my virginity."

"I guess you got a point." He rolled his hips against me, driving his cock
even deeper. "Ready for the main event?"

"No point in saying no."

Without a response, he lifted his chest from me while pulling more of his
cock out of my ass. My ring clung to him and it felt like he was dragging
my bowels out of me. There was a definite discomfort associated with it but
it was not the same pain I felt when he had entered me. It felt like he
pulled enough of his cock out of me to equal the length of my own-currently
nonexistent-erection even though there was still a decent amount inside of
me before he changed direction and pushed back into me. In short order, he
set up a regular pace moving a good portion of his length through me,
fucking me much more gently than I expected. That's not to say it was a
tender, loving act by any means. It simply wasn't the hard and fast pump
and dump I expected. But, considering the slow hand jobs and blow jobs he
preferred, it should not have been surprising.

Through the continuing pain, I felt my sphincter begin to burn from the
friction of his movement.  Despite this, or because of it, I began to feel
the warmth of pleasure radiating out from it through my body. Additionally,
the feeling of his cock against what I later learned was my prostate was
fantastic. His thick, bumpy cock continually massaged it and even though my
dick continued to remain flaccid from the pain, I could feel the wetness of
precum seep out of me from the stimulation. While I could see how this was
going to be a good thing once I got used to it, the lingering pain kept me
unable to fully enjoy the experience.

"You got a nice, tight fucking ass, Mikey," James eventually said through
his heavy breathing. His hips were still moving slowly but with more
determination behind his thrusts. There was no chance that our flesh made
enough sound to carry out of the room as he fucked into me. The bed shook
some, but because it was not flush with the wall, there were only soft
squeaks from the springs that was easily covered by the game music playing
on the TV. "I can't wait to really fuck it. Next time will be longer but I
gotta put the cream on this cherry."

"Do it," I said through gritted teeth. I was happy to hear him say he was
close to finishing so I could get him out of my ass. At the same time
knowing James was going to come inside me was suddenly more arousing and
satisfying than if I had been shooting out my own load.

It took a few more minutes before he let out a groan and I felt his cock
harden and his thrusting become even slower. He pulled back until only his
crown remained inside me twice before he buried himself and his cock began
to jerk. As it pulsed within me, a feeling of pleasant warmth spread
through my body. It was weird how the sensation of him shooting was much
different inside my ass compared to in my mouth. There was no feeling of
pressure from his ejaculation, but the heat that flowed into me was
unmistakable. I found myself moaning softly and writhing beneath him as I
had something that resembled a dry orgasm while his cock continued to jerk
deep inside me.

"Damn," James said breathlessly as he rested his body on top of mine
again. His cock had stopped throbbing intensely but, based on history, I
knew it was still completing his deposit into my ass as he resumed slowly
moving his hips against me not so much thrusting as humping. "We are so
doing this again."