Date: Mon, 16 Apr 2001 08:38:22 -0700 (PDT) From: Tom Borden Subject: "My Father, My Son" 18th Installment Following is the eighteenth chapter of my novel, "My Father, My Son." The story is mostly fiction, but contains some elements that are true from the author's own experience. The story contains explicit descriptions of sexual activity among family members, but contains no violence of a sexual nature. Also, all sexual activity is with the complete consent of all the persons involved. In addition, although condoms are never mentioned, it is the author's intention that readers should assume that condoms are used whenever anal intercourse is performed by any of the characters. Any persons who are offended by material of this nature should read no further. The author welcomes any comments at any time, whether constructive or destructive, and whether praiseful or damning. Suggestions of any kind are equally welcome. Send to: tombor99@excite.com. My Father, My Son Chapter 18 On the morning following Mario's brief encounter with Brian, he received a call from the young man. "It's Brian. I'd like to talk to you some more. You know, I thought you were a very nice man. "Brian, I'm glad you called. I enjoyed talking with you, too. I'll be busy tonight, but would you like to come by tomorrow night and we can talk some more if you'd like." "I'd like to do that if you don't mind and if you're not going to be busy, Mr. . . ." "Please call me Mario. Of course I don't mind, Brian. What time can you come?" "Oh, would about eight be okay?" "That will be fine. I'll look forward to it." That evening, Adriano spent the night with his father, getting up and leaving only in time to make his first class in the morning. Mario was careful not to mention that he was going to meet Brian. He wasn't sure how Adriano would react. After all, Brian was one of Adriano's students. Would it make Adriano uncomfortable in some way? Mario hated the deception, but resolved to himself that he would tell Adriano-in time. Then, of course, there was another deception: the fact that he hadn't revealed that he was Adriano's father. Brian thought that he and Adriano were just friends. At exactly eight o'clock, Brian knocked on Mario's door. Letting him in, Mario immediately offered Brian a Scotch and soda, which was promptly accepted. Sitting in chairs across a small table from each other, the conversation began with the subject all tentative conversations begin with-the weather. "Brian, tell me a little bit about yourself. Are you from around here?" "No, I'm from Texas, but I've lived in a lot of different towns. The family I last lived with was in Midland, Texas." "What do you mean? The family you last lived with?" "Well, I was abandoned when I was a baby. My mother had me when she was only fifteen, and she left me with a neighbor lady." "What happened to your mother?" "She just kind of disappeared. Someone later told me she lived in Oklahoma somewhere with some oil rig roustabout." "I'm sorry to hear that." "Nah, it doesn't bother me. I never think about her." "Well, how about your adoptive parents?" "I was never adopted. One couple wanted to, but they didn't. I spent my life in foster homes until I was eighteen." "Oh, dear." "No, that was okay. I lived in about six foster homes, and none of them were bad, except one. Most of those families were very nice to me and treated me well-like one of their own. They saw to it that I went to school, and the last family-I lived with them for the last five years that I was in foster care-have been paying my tuition here at the University. So I haven't got any complaints." "Did any of them know that you are a homosexual?" "Yeah, one thought he did. That was the one family I didn't like at all. I never did anything that would make it at all obvious I was a homosexual. I just never did anything. I don't even know if I knew myself I was anything like that. I was only thirteen when I left them. But the old man hated queers and kept calling me a fairy for no reason. He told me he couldn't stand the sight of me. And one day he called up the agency and told them to come and get me. That's when I was sent to Midland to live with my last family." "Why do you fear being a homosexual so much? You said the other night that you would hate it if you were gay. You're twenty-two years old. You should by now be accepting it." "I don't know. I think it's been ever since that old man with that family was so derisive about queers. It just made me feel so dirty and hateful whenever I had feelings about other guys I'd see. The idea of being just a queer or just a fairy . . . I just couldn't stand being a queer. I felt so dirty, almost like a criminal." "Well, Brian, I'm a homosexual; I won't use the word 'queer'. What do you think about me?" "I like you. But don't you ever feel dirty and worthless?" "Of course not. Here, let me show you some pictures of my family back in Italy." Mario walked over to the low chest of drawers and laid out about ten photographs, carefully making sure that Adriano's picture was not among them. He and Brian stood next to each other as he pointed out pictures of his wife, his mother and father, and his brothers and sisters. As he talked, he became aware that Brian had stopped looking at the pictures and was looking at him. "Brian?" "You have a nice face. I mean you have a nice looking . . . face." "What's the matter, Brian?" "Nothing. I just think you're a nice person." "Even though I'm a homosexual?" Mario said with a wry smile. "Yeah. I mean . . . ." "That's alright. I know what you mean." As Brian stood looking at him, almost transfixed, Mario said, "Would you like to touch me? I mean, would you like to touch my face?" Mario felt the blood rush to his head. How could he have blurted out such a question? "Yes." Brian slowly lifted his hand and touched Mario's cheek. It was a feeling he had never felt before. He suddenly felt very close to Mario, and the feel of Mario's smooth, tawny skin on his fingers excited him more than anything ever had. He had never before touched the skin of another man, except to shake hands. He moved his hand gently and lightly down Mario's cheek and over his chin. Then he could feel Mario's warm breath on his hand. He could feel his heart beating like a hammer in his chest. He began to feel this strange and powerful desire well up inside of him. Never had he felt such a rising passion. Mario said softly, "Could I touch your face, too, Brian?" Brian nodded. As Mario slowly caressed Brian's cheek, he almost subconsciously moved his other arm around so that it was encircling Brian's waist. "Your cheek is so smooth," Mario said. "It feels like silk." Brian allowed Mario to pull him close. They could feel each other's hard penises pressing again each other. Their cheeks were now pressed together. Mario moved his head slightly and kissed Brian on the cheek. He waited for Brian to do the same, feeling Brian's warm breath on his ear. But Brian didn't move his head. "I think we need to sit down, Brian," said Mario as he led him over to sit on the side of the bed. Brian looked again into Mario's face and said, "I like you so much. You are such a nice person. Your face is so nice. It feels so good to touch your skin." Mario hesitated and then said, "Brian, would you like to take my shirt off for me?" Once again, he worried that he may have said the wrong thing. "Yes." Brian slowly unbuttoned Mario's shirt and spread it open. He looked intently at Mario's finely sculptured chest and the rows of stomach muscles, and then slowly moved his hand over them. Mario felt as though he was going into shock as Brian's hands passed over his very sensitive nipples. Once again, Brian said, "I've never felt another man's skin before." Then, as though he simply couldn't help himself, he leaned over and kissed Mario's chest. Mario, without asking, unbuttoned Brian's shirt and ran his hand lightly over his chest and stomach. "Do you mind if I do this?" "No. I like you so much, Mario." Mario and Brian were soon lying next to each other, shirtless, and caressing each other's skin. Mario took another chance, and leaned over and gently kissed Brian very lightly on the lips. Then as he lifted his head, he saw on Brian's face the sweetest smile he thought he had ever seen. They kissed lightly again, and then again. Mario felt that Brian's feelings about all of this were still too delicate and too tentative to push the young man too far. He thought about suggesting they strip down all the way, but just wasn't sure that it was the right thing to do. After all, the boy had taken an enormous step that night with Mario in allaying his long-standing fears about his own homosexuality. There was always the possibility that if he were to go all the way, so to speak, and bring Brian to orgasm in some way, Brian may still feel in the aftermath that he had done something dirty and shameful. It would probably be better to let him go home and think about this experience while he masturbated, which he claimed to do every night. Brian seemed more than content to lavish all his passion into their caressing and kissing each other from the waist up only. Mario believed it was better to let it go at that. There would still be time that week for them to see each other again when they could likely consummate their love-making with sex. Brian finally said, "It's time for me to go so I can get some sleep before my early morning class." The fear and doubt had disappeared from Brian's eyes and he looked at Mario with almost a look of love. "You are such a nice person. I know I've said that a lot. And your skin is so nice to touch. I'll call you again, if that's okay." "It's more than okay, Brian. I'll be here for the rest of the week. I don't go back to Italy until Saturday." At the door, they kissed each other gently, but without hesitation. After Brian was gone, Mario had another Scotch and soda and thought to himself, "That boy is a dear, sweet young man. And with him, I would never do anything to hurt him or embarrass him. If there is some way I can make him feel better about being who he is, that alone will make me happy." After Joseph was unceremoniously fired by Jake, he hitchhiked to San Antonio. With much of the two-week's severance pay he received, he purchased several bottles of whisky and proceeded to drink himself into a stupor. Sitting under an overpass in the middle of town with a half dozen other homeless men, he worked himself into a state of bitterness that almost overwhelmed him. His mind became filled only with thoughts of revenge. He not only hated Jake, but his enmity extended to the whole establishment down at the Walker Ranch. He had no friends and no one who could understand his feeling of malice toward all of them. After finishing a full fifth of whisky, he smashed the bottle against a piling and fell into a fitful sleep. In the morning, he awoke with an idea. He would go and visit Jared Walker in prison. Jared would be the only one alive who would understand his malevolence against those dreadful people at the ranch. Gathering up his belongings, which occupied only a small backpack, Joseph set out to the highway to hitchhike to the State Prison. Portraying himself as a family member related to Jared Walker, he was able to arrange a visit. He was permitted only ten minutes. He was allowed to talk with him only by phone while the two were separated by a thick shatter-proof shield of plexi-glass. "Do you remember me, Mr. Walker? I hope I was helpful when I alerted your people about the barn. It was pretty well destroyed." "Yeah, Joseph, you were helpful, but it didn't do any good. What do want?" "Well, I never got along good with any of those bastards down there. I just got fired for no good reason. Jake done it. I was wondering, since you was in prison and all that . . . . I know you weren't very happy with them people down there . . . if I could be of some service to you." "What are you talking about, Joseph?" "Well, sir, I can't let them fuckin' bastards get away with the way they treated me and what they done to me. I don't know what your beef was with them, but maybe I can help you . . . seein' as though you're in prison and all." "What do you have in mind?" responded Jared. "Well you know I still got my gun. It belongs to the ranch, but when I left, I took it. I can help you any way you want." "Joseph, the way I see it, your gripe is with Jake. I don't have any problem with him." "I can take care of anyone you want. You want me to get rid of Michael, I can do it for you. There ain't nobody down there I don't hate." Joseph, I'm not looking to have anybody killed." "What I wanna do, Mr. Walker, more than anything I can think of is teach Jake a lesson for the way he treated me. I got my gun and I got bullets, and I might go back down there and kill him. Maybe if I did that, would that help you somehow?" "I told you, Joseph, I don't want anyone killed. But it doesn't matter what you do. I've got fifteen years in this shit hole. There's not much that you can do that will make any difference to me now." "But you still got a gripe with them. Since I'm out here free, there oughta be something I can do to help you get back at them. I'm gonna kill Jake, Mr. Walker. I swear I'm gonna kill him." "What you do, Joseph, is your business. But killing Jake isn't going to help me." "I bet it will. I can figure out a way to make it look like Michael done it. Won't that satisfy you?" Jared sat silently and looked down at his hands for a minute or two. He then said, "Is that something you're sure of? How do you know you can do that?" "I know how to do a lot of things, Mr. Walker. Neither of us love those people down there. I'd like us to be partners. Okay?" Jared stood up and said, "I don't want anything to do with you, Joseph. Now get out of here. My time's up." Joseph shot back, "Well, you can just go to Hell. I offered to be of help to you in your gripe with them people. But now you can just go fuck yerself. I got my own plans, and I sure as shit don't need you, you fuck head!" On Thursday morning, Mario showered and shaved and waited for Adriano to arrive. Adriano was going to give his father a tour of the laboratory facilities at the University and then go to lunch. Because Adriano had classes that afternoon and evening, Mario would need to be alone and find what entertainment he could. He hoped that Brian would call to say he wanted to come over and see him again. And just before Adriano arrived, Brian did call. They arranged that Brian would come over again around eight that evening. At lunch, Mario believed that this was the time to tell Adriano about his meeting with Brian. He explained that he had gone over to the Nest on the evening following the night they were there with Paul. He had been lonely and only wanted to sit there in the bar by himself and watch all the cute little gay boys running around having a good time. He told Adriano about running into Brian, who gave him a ride home, and who came to his motel room two nights later. "Adriano, that boy feels that he is living a nightmare. He fears the idea that he might be gay, which, of course, he is. And he wanted to talk with me because I was older and I didn't frighten him as much as all the younger gays he saw." "Are you attracted to him, dad." "I probably am. Well, no, I AM attracted to him. We didn't do anything. But he seemed to be very comfortable with me. I didn't attack him or anything. I just let him talk. I made no moves that would frighten him. But then he wanted to touch my face. He said he liked me. I didn't do anything. I just let him. He said it was the first time in his life that he touched another man's skin. And it excited him. We did eventually lie down and caress each other. We were only shirtless. He has a lot of passion pent up inside of him. This boy somehow has to start understanding his feelings and learn to be content with the homosexuality that he has been denying for so long." "I think I understand, dad." Then looking straight at Adriano, Mario said. "He's coming over to see me again tonight." Adriano said nothing for several minutes. Then looking his father and smiling faintly, he said, "Friday's your last night here. Could you reserve that night for just the two of us?" Mario said, "Of course, Adriano. Don't you know that being with you is the only reason I come over here to the States?" Mario reached under the table and squeezed Adriano's thigh. Adriano kept telling himself that he was happy for his father. But he had for a long time been very attracted to Brian himself. He would never, however, make any move toward the boy so long as he was one of his students. But here was his own father making out with him. He was jealous. But he kept asking himself how he could be jealous of his own father. It was just hard to figure. When Brian entered Mario's room, he was smiling and had a look of anticipation on his face. As Mario approached him, Brian raised his hand and placed it on Mario's face. "You know, Mario, I thought about your face all night last night. As I lay in bed, I pressed the pillow up against me and pretended it was you pressing your skin up against mine. I couldn't think about anything else when I masturbated. Just you and your skin and your warm breath on my cheek." "Do you like to masturbate, Brian?" "Sure." "When you were imagining me up against you, were you imagining that I was masturbating, too?" "I don't think so. Do you masturbate, too?" "Sure I do. All men masturbate, even at my advanced age of forty. It's one of our great pleasures." "Wow." Brian sat down at the small table where they had talked several nights before. Mario fixed them both Scotch and sodas and sat again across from Brian. Mario said, "I take it that you feel a little better about yourself and your feelings." "A little bit." replied Brian. "You're not like all those other guys I see at the bar." "There are a lot of people who aren't like those guys at the bar. Just remember, never think of yourself as a queer or a fairy. Those are just terms used by people who don't understand people like you and me." As they sipped their drinks, Brian kept staring at Mario's face. Then he suddenly said, "Can we take our shirts off again so we can touch each other again?" Mario put his drink down and said, "Of course. If you would like that, of course we can. Would you mind if I undid your shirt for you?" "No. And I can undo your's." Mario walked over to Brian and leaned over. As he slowly unbuttoned Brian's shirt, Brian began unbuttoning Mario's shirt. Soon, their shirts were lying in a heap on the table and they were both standing with their arms wrapped around each other. Brian began gently kissing Mario's face, his eyes, his cheeks, nose, and then his lips. "I never knew how wonderful it would be to have my lips on another man's skin. You smell so good and you taste so good." Mario stood there waiting to see if Brian would lead him over to the bed. It was only several minutes when Brian began edging toward the bed. Lying next to each other, Brian said, "This is what I imagined when I masturbated last night." Mario could hardly believe he was lying close to this beautiful young man. Brian's dark brown wavy hair fell down over his forehead and as soon as Mario would brush it back out of Brian's eyes, it would fall back again. It was almost unbearably erotic to Mario as he moved his hand lightly over Brian's smooth, fair, and unblemished skin. There was no hair on his chest, but a tantalizing stripe of dark hair rose up from beneath his belt line and ended at his navel. Mario ran his fingers over this ridge of hair, daring to slip his fingers just slightly inside of Brian's belt. "Brian, I can tell you have a hard-on. You're bulging a lot." "So do you. I can see your big bulge, too." Mario whispered, "You know, holding you makes me really excited. When you get excited . . . when you think about sex and about some good looking guy you saw, do you want to masturbate?" "Sure." "You know when a guy gets a hard-on he really needs to get off. I mean, he really needs to masturbate. You know how it is." "Sure." "Well, you know, Brian, I think I have to masturbate right now." "Okay." "Do you think you need to masturbate right now, too?" "I think so." "Well, Brian, I guess we should do it together." "I don't know." Mario thought to himself, "My God, when is this boy going to let go!" Mario said, "Here, I'll take off my pants first, and then I'll help you with yours. We can't masturbate with our pants on, that's for sure." As Brian stared wide-eyed, Mario removed his pants and briefs, revealing his throbbing rod and very large ball sack, as well as his long slender legs that were covered with a layer of soft hair. He then reached over and undid Brian's belt buckle and top button, unzipped his pants, and slowly pulled them down. Once they were off, Mario ran his hands over Brian's finely shaped legs. Brian had a slight look of embarrassment on his face, although his long cock was rigid and throbbing. Mario said, "Now this makes it much easier to jack ourselves off. You can go ahead like I'm doing." Brian, who was thoroughly taken with Mario's skin, sat up and leaned over Mario's legs and started licking them and sucking on the hair. "Mario, I love your skin." Mario just continued to stroke while enjoying the feel of Brian's tongue running up and down over his legs. Soon, Brian lay back and began stroking his own cock, while keeping his eyes on Mario's hand motion. "Mario, you do it just like I do it. I never saw another guy jack off before and I never knew if I was doing it right. But you do it just like me. Mario, you have a very handsome body. And you make me want to jack off. Do other guys jack off together like this?" "All the time. Most guys find it exciting to jack off with other guys. It's fun to watch other guys shoot their sperm." "I've never seen anyone shoot their sperm, except myself, of course." "Well, let's see who can shoot first, Brian." Brian now seemed perfectly comfortable lying totally naked next to Mario, jacking off and watching Mario jack off. It was an erotic experience that he had never before gone through. As Mario jacked with one hand, he brought his other hand over and lightly fondled Brian's balls. This was enough to bring Brian to the brink. Mario could feel Brian's ball sack begin to scrunch up and tighten as his balls started pulling up into his body. "Go ahead, Brian. Let it go!" Brian's hips began to buck and his face became contorted in orgasmic pleasure. Suddenly, a great rope of sperm shot from the end of his penis onto his chest. Then another and another, while Brian called out, "Ahhhhhhhh!" The sight was too much for Mario, and as soon as he knew Brian was in condition to watch him, he let go of his own load of sperm, which shot out in five long streams all over his stomach. It seemed never to stop flowing, and the last three or four spurts came out on his knuckles. Both Brian and Mario lay there exhausted and breathless. Soon, Mario said, "Are you alright, Brian?" Brian whispered, still breathless, "Yeah. I'm great!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, this was so wonderful." Brian rolled over against Mario, his sperm running off of his chest onto Mario's. "I love you Mario," he said as he kissed Mario's face and ran his hand over Mario's thigh. Mario wanted to tell him that he shouldn't say "love." He should learn that love comes after much more than a single night of sex. But he didn't say anything. He knew the boy would learn something about what love meant soon enough. When they were dressed, Mario explained again that he was leaving for Italy on Saturday and that this would be the last time they would see each other before he left. But he would be making other trips to the United States, and he promised they would see each other again. In the meantime, he would send Brian postcards from Italy, and he hoped he would get a letter now and then from Brian. At the door, he put one hand on Brian's cheek and said, "Brian, you'll find that, when you finally get totally honest with yourself about your own sexual desires, the homosexual world will not be so frightening to you. You'll find someone eventually who will love you and care for you, and you'll love and care for him, too. Think about it. There are a lot of good and loving people in the gay world, just like us. Are you going to be okay?" Brian threw his arms around Mario's neck and said, "I'm more than okay. I think I'm already in love! Goodnight Mario!" Two weeks later, Paul called Brian into his office. "Sit down Brian. We're coming up to graduation shortly. Have you got any plans yet for your future?" "Well, no," Brian responded. "I've done a lot of interviews, but nothing has happened yet. And I'm not sure I'm very thrilled with any of the jobs I interviewed for." "You know, Brian," Paul began, "Adriano and I have been talking about you. You have been one of the very top students in this program, notwithstanding your squeamishness about birthing calves. Would you consider working for about a year or so down on a ranch caring for the animals?" "Oh, I don't know. I've been thinking more in the line of a dog and cat clinic." "Well, Brian, I have a very good friend who owns and runs a really great ranch down near Goliad. They need someone of your qualifications. You would be responsible for all the animal inoculations and the general health of the animals, as well as treating their injuries and illnesses. I know you've had plenty of training in those areas. And I can pretty well assure you that you will be very unlikely to be confronted with birthing calves. They tell me that procedure hasn't been called for in some years down there. Would you like to work on a ranch? It's a healthy, invigorating life. "Oh, I don't know. I like to ride horses. Do they use horses down there, or do they just drive around in vehicles? "Of course they use horses. What's a ranch without horses? They don't use them for cattle drives anymore, but they still use them for cattle round ups. Also, they use them a lot for just riding out around the far reaches of the ranch to make inspections of the place." "Well, I might consider it if nothing else comes up." "The pay's pretty good and there's a lot of great guys there who you'd be working with. Just think about it, Brian. I'll be glad to take you down there sometime so you can have a look-see yourself. They're going to have to get someone pretty quickly, so let me know soon." Brian promised to think about it and would get back to Paul by the following week. It was now the end of May, and Michael planned a fairly large get-together on the ranch to celebrate Jeff's twentieth birthday. Several of Paul's colleagues from the University of Texas in Austin were invited, as well as a number of friends from Goliad and surrounding ranches. Maggie pleaded with Michael to allow her to invite some of her friends from San Antonio, including, of course, Rhapsody. Michael finally agreed, but warned her that he wanted no shenanigans from any of those queens. Maggie promised that she would see to it that they behaved. Michael also told the ranch hands that they could attend and to bring their girl friends from town. He had a large platform set up between the main house and the bunk house for dancing, and engaged the little band that normally played at the Cock and Balls Lounge in Goliad to provide the music. Maggie made two large three-layer chocolate cakes with white frosting-Jeff's favorite-on which she, not very expertly, scribbled "Happy Birthday Jeff" in pink frosting. For the main course, she made her famous recipe for barbecued ribs in a large outdoor barbecue pit. As the guests began arriving, Maggie's friends came riding up, all jammed into Rhapsody's old car. As they disembarked, it was clear to Michael that he had forgotten to warn Maggie of one thing. They were all in high drag, tacky as usual, and all screaming and carrying on. "Maggie," shouted Michael. "I told you to keep these queens under control. I certainly didn't expect them to be in full drag. You know there are other women here tonight." "Michael, please," countered Maggie. "All these so-called women who got dragged out here by all these ranch jockeys are nothing but a bunch of cheap street whores, and you know it. They could probably learn something about style from my drag queen friends!" "Ya, right!" growled Michael. Large wash tubs of ice and bottled beer sat up on the verandah, and as soon as the guests arrived, they helped themselves. The little band, made up only of guitars and a bass, played as dancing began. Rhapsody and her friends spent most of their time dancing with each other, while Michael, Jeff, Karl, Paul, Corky, Enrique, Jake, and Josiah sat on the verandah drinking beer and eating chips. Maggie continued to busy herself in the kitchen and at the barbecue pit. At about seven-thirty, Maggie rang the dinner bell, and everyone hurried over to the long table set up with the ribs and other "fixins". Everyone sat around on the lawn eating, and most went back for seconds. The cake was finally cut and everyone got a piece served on a paper plate. When the meal was finished, Michael stood up on the verandah and shouted for everyone's attention. "You know that this occasion is to celebrate my dear son, Jeff's, twentieth birthday." At this, great cheers went up. "I would like to propose a toast to him. May he never forget where his home is, and where he'll always be loved, and may he and his partner, Paul, never be parted and live in love and happiness for the rest of time." More cheers. Rhapsody leaned over to Maggie and said, "I'm surprised at that toast. Do all these people know that Jeff and Paul are lovers?" "Well, dear, they do now!" responded Maggie. More toasts from others ensued followed by great cheering. Everyone, however, was soon back to either dancing or sitting around drinking. As expected, as the hours passed, and more and more beer was consumed, ranch hands and their "girl friends" began stretching out on the lawn at various places making love in various ways. At this point, Paul's University colleagues left for the long drive back to Austin. The band continued to play, but there remained only one couple on the dance floor. All the rest were scattered about the lawn. And by this time the band members, already wearing shorts, stripped off their shirts, revealing a good deal of very tantalizing skin. Rhapsody and her friends were driven absolutely wild by the sight of these young men dressed only in cowboy boots, shorts, and cowboy hats. Rhapsody stood behind one of the young guitar players, with her hand down the back of his pants feeling the firm buns that resided there, and reaching around with her other hand, pinching and pulling on one of his nipples. The young man just stood there grinning and continuing to strum his guitar. Soon, the band took a short break. Karl had gone into the house to go to the bathroom and, on his way out, encountered the base player who stopped him. "I've been noticing you," said the young bass player. I've got a break right now. Why don't we sneak into the barn for a few minutes. There are several others in there, I know. I'd love to suck your cock. Or if you want, I'd love to have you fuck me." "No thanks," said Karl with a smile. "I'm with someone." "It would just take a minute. No one would know." "No thanks, I said." The bass player waved his hand in disgust and walked away. Karl did feel an urge to go with the young man. A blow job would just take a minute, and what would it hurt, he thought. He was thoroughly in love with Michael, but he knew he was always plagued with a wandering eye. The urge for quick sex with anyone who proposed it haunted him. He belonged to Michael and that's the way he wanted it to be. He hated the thought that he had given into episodes with Maggie, as well as Rhapsody. And then there was that waiter in New York-what was his name-oh, yes. Larry. He couldn't even remember the slightest detail of what he looked like. And of course, there was Tony. Dear Tony, who pleaded to be brought down to Texas to be with him. Tony was one that had to be gotten over. He was in love with Tony once. But that was in the past. He had Michael now, and he knew his life would be over if anything happened to break Michael and him apart. Michael was his life now. He had never loved anyone so much. Sure, the bass player was cute, but he had to resist from now on. He had to get over this weakness for anyone who would offer him quick sex. And he would. As the party continued, in a rather orgiastic fashion, Michael asked Jeff to come inside. He wanted to give him his birthday present. When they entered Michael's room, Michael opened a drawer and pulled out a small package with a big bow on it. "Happy birthday, Jeff." Jeff opened the box and found a beautiful gold watch. Turning it over, he saw inscribed on the back of the case, "To Jeff from his dad on his 20th birthday. Our love will never die." Tears began pouring down Jeff's cheeks, and he threw his arms around Michael. "Oh, dad, I love you so much. Thank you. It's beautiful. I just don't know what to say. I love you so much." They hugged tightly, as Michael's eyes also became teary. "Jeff, I meant it when I said earlier that I hope you'll never forget where your home is and where you'll always be loved." "I'll never forget, dad. You should know that." Taking Michael's face between his hands, he said, "Your face is always there before me. I see it every day of my life." Jeff, still holding onto his father's head, gently kissed his lips, his nose, cheeks, eyes, and forehead. "I love you, dad. Never forget that. I want to sleep with you tonight." "But what about Paul?" "He'll understand." "No. Paul is your partner. He's here to help celebrate your birthday. He loves you. You belong with him." "Well, dad, what about Karl? He's your partner. I guess that means you and I can't sleep together tonight." Then with a little smile and while kissing the tears off of Jeff's cheeks, he said, "Why can't the four of us sleep together? Huh?" "Can't think of any reason why not, dad!" Laughing, they walked arm in arm back out to the verandah Jake and Josiah were sitting and talking on the verandah when Luke, one of the ranch hands came running up to them. "Jake, some of the guys just spotted old Joseph coming back." Pointing to the west, he said, "He's just comin' down that road over there!" Jake quickly turned to Josiah and said, "Go back to the room and git my fuckin' rifle, Josiah. Make it snappy!" Jake and Luke stared off to the west, wondering if Joseph was headed this way. Josiah came running back with the rifle, and Jake held it at the ready. Joseph finally appeared around from the side of the barn and walked slowly up to about twenty feet from where Jake was standing. He was dirty and disheveled and bare headed. "What are ya doin' back here, ya son-of-a-bitch!" "I ain't come fer nothin', but fer one thing, Jake!" Pulling a gun out from under his jacket, he shouted, "You don't give a shit about nobody, do ya? You don't care who you hurt or whose lives you ruin. Yer a fuckin' asshole! Ya always were." As Joseph raised the gun and pointed it directly at Jake, Josiah cried out, "NO! NO!" and jumped in front of Jake just as the gun fired. Josiah slumped to the floor. As Joseph raised his gun to shoot again, Jake lifted his rifle quickly and fired at Joseph, shooting him squarely between the eyes, killing him instantly. Maggie and the queens started screaming and holding their heads and running around in circles. Everyone on the ground jumped up and gathered around Jake and Josiah. "Josiah! Josiah!" screamed Jake. "Oh, Josiah!" Josiah's body lay limp on the floor as Jake knelt by him. Blood covered the front of his shirt and began oozing from his mouth. Maggie ran into the house to call 911, screaming, "Oh, my God! Oh, my God!" Michael and Jeff ran to Jake and Josiah's side. "Don't move him," shouted Michael. "We don't know where the bullet lodged." Opening up Josiah's blood soaked shirt, he said, "The bullet went right into his stomach. Hurry, Jeff go in and bring out a bunch of towels. We need to pack the wound to help stop the bleeding until the medics come." Choking his words out, Jake stuttered, "Is he still alive? Oh, my God, Josiah, please be alive! Michael, is he alive?" "I don't know, Jake. I don't know." This Chapter 18 of "My Father, My Son." The author welcomes all comments and suggestions of any kind. Please send to: tombor99@excite.com.