Date: Mon, 09 Jul 2007 22:25:19 -0400
From: niftyreadersclub@aol.com
Subject: My Son's Request Part 2

Wow.  The response I've gotten to the beginning of this story
was...surprising.  I thank you all and am glad that you're enjoying a sort
of novella that this story has become in my writing.  Your comments are
appreciated, and motivating...so here's the second installment...

This story is completely fictional, so please read at your own discretion.
It involves moments between a father and son that are not regarded as
acceptable in lawful society, yet has a meaning all its own.  As I see it,
the world is a very scary place going into the unknown when on the other
hand, turning to familiarity, trust and safety I hold in high regard toward
experience, knowledge and understanding.  I hope you read between the lines
and see a message of this.  Comments may be emailed to
niftyreadersclub@aol.com.  Please enjoy...

Two of Seven

I woke up this Sunday morning and found myself alone in bed.  Laying there
lucid but groggy, it took me a moment to realize that I wasn't alone in the
room.  I looked up to see Maggie at her dresser brushing her hair.  She saw
my head come up in the mirror.  "Morning."

Sitting up in bed, I replied in kind.  "When did you get up?"

"Around five," She said with a smile, "there was a morning show I wanted to
watch.  Don't ask because I won't go into it."

Good, I thought, grinning.  I yawned, stretched and continued to lay there,
no thoughts really racing through my mind until my wife spoke again.  "Have
you requested next Friday off?"

"Why?"

"Open fishing weekend.  Your annual three day weekend with Nate."

Oh, I thought.  Oh.  "Ah, I thought I'd cancel this year.  We got that
Grogan account and this week begins the press release with a lot to do."
As I was saying this, Maggie stood, trod over to the bed and sat beside me.

"Darren, you can't cancel.  You've taken Nate up to Strauss Ridge every
fishing season since he was eight.  Besides, he's already been talking
about it.  You took Will on your yearly weekend with him to father/son camp
last weekend.  Nate'll be crushed if you cancel."

A lot of thoughts popped into my head as she spoke.  In the three weeks
following my older son's birthday, I'd avoided much thought and had come up
with a few excuses to not do normal things around the house.  I wasn't
giving my son any indication which he could visibly see that I was ready
and/or comfortable enough to continue thinking about our conversation the
night of his birthday.  Our daily routine hadn't skipped a beat, our
relationship hadn't dissipated; I simply wasn't ready.  The fishing weekend
had crossed my mind.  Maggie' bringing it up now, a week away, shouldn't
have been a surprise.  It was a normal reminder from her, she just didn't
have any idea what a three day weekend alone with Nate might mean to me
now.

Since I apparently didn't seem to have any response, she stated, "You're
not saying no."

No.  No.  No.  That little two letter word kept on echoing, as if she were
saying I wouldn't dare say `no' to anything.  If she only knew.  She could
never know.  All I could do was nod in consent.  Everyone knew not to argue
with Maggie Corrinth.

Later that day after lunch, and after a short run around the neighborhood,
I returned home, heading to the bathroom for a quick shower.  Nate's door
was open as I passed, and I caught a glimpse of him reading some magazine.
I stopped short of the bathroom and stepped back into the doorway.  "Hi."

"Hey dad."

Stumped for words, I stood there for several seconds.  His eyes hadn't yet
left the magazine.  It was early enough still and shopping stores would
still be open, so I asked, "Do we need to go pick up any gear for our trip
next weekend?"

That seemed to be all he needed to hear.  The magazine fell from his hand
and he sat up straight.  "Ah, we could.  I looked through the tackle boxes.
That's what I was just looking at in this mag.  There're a few new lures
available that I'd love to try."  His excitement seemed to be two fold.  I
could only smile.

"Okay.  Let me shower and we'll head out in about a half hour."  Nate
smiled and nodded, going back to the fishing magazine he abandoned so
quickly seconds before.

In the shower, I stood and soaked up the heat of the water.  Thinking.
Eventually, I looked down at my crotch, fondling myself with one hand.  I
asked myself, `can I really, really let my own son, a guy, touch me?'  I
didn't know.  The thought of yes couldn't even cross the threshold of my
inner self.

We had a good time that afternoon shopping.  We always do have good times,
no denying that.  I let him drive us around, showing off his wheels.  I was
glad he was one of those guys who actually felt proud to be seen out and
about with his dad without embarrassment.  On the way home, Nate did start
to bring up our conversation from his birthday night.  Nearing so close to
home, I told him to wait until next weekend for talk about it, and left it
at that.  I was grateful for his agreeable nature.

As time goes, the week went quickly.  I fretted, lost a bit of sleep,
wondered, denied, went through all the emotions of anything and everything.
There were so many consequences.  It was like having Pandora's box in my
lap and wondering if I really should open it when the truth was that
Pandora's box simply is not findable because it doesn't exist, but there it
is, no lock, no one around, no one to tell me if I should or shouldn't open
it.  There was a lot of unheard growling happening in my head.  Also, a lot
of love, and a lot of admiration.  And there was fear.

The drive to the lake was casual.  We started out at four thirty in the
morning, reaching our destination three hours later.  Considering it was
the beginning of fishing season, our favorite spot was a good hike from
where we parked the car and secluded for the most part.  There were a few
people about, but our favorite lake was a hike to get to, and didn't spark
much attention from other fishermen for some odd reason, although the lake
was famous for its catches of big mouth bass and pikes.

Combined, our mood that morning was all about fishing, and that's what we
focused on.  Dropping all our gear in a heap in the same spot we camped at
for years, we grabbed the necessities and hit the shore.  Four hours of
fishing later, seven good catches, and both of us starving, we headed back.
I set up the tent and camp area while Nate cleaned the fish.  It was a good
first day catch wise.  Nate's mother supplied us with all we needed to keep
fed, we just had to supply the fish, and bring some home too.

After lunch, I'd gone into the two man tent and lay down.  A nap didn't
come to me because I was waiting.  Waiting for my son to bring
this...situation up.  I had all the belief in the world that he'd take a
stronger turn about it being alone out here, and I was right.  I lifted my
head from the pillow and saw Nate's back just outside the tent.  I was also
hoping that in the last four weeks that he'd thought twice about what he'd
asked.  I was wrong about that.  He kept his silence and was waiting for me
too.

It made me think that it was all that had been on his mind for a while now,
and I couldn't avoid it any longer.  I grew serious about it all, stepping
out of the tent to sit beside him.  Letting a few moments pass, I finally
put an arm around his shoulders and asked, "Son, is this really want you
want?"

"I think so, dad," he responded as quickly as I'd asked my question.
Looking at me, he continued, "I don't have any fears with you like I do
with life.  Everything makes me afraid of my own thoughts but you."  He
paused, but steadily looked at me.  I nodded.  I actually understood what
he was telling me.  His further telling about himself hit my gut so hard I
was floored.  "Dad, I've been so horny about this.  I know things like this
aren't talked about openly, but I'm doing that because no matter what, you
won't scare me."

My son is turning to me for guidance, yet at the same time, it is a
guidance I know nothing about.  I slowly stood and walked several feet
away.  I thought, here's a chance to understand where my kid's coming from.
The tides in my mind rushed, flowed, and ebbed.  I couldn't even think
about forcing my own son to face fears at his age that the world would
throw at him without me.  He asked me to help him, to understand what he
was feeling, and here I was.  I'm here for him.  All I have to do is turn
around.  Turn around and love him even more for being as brave as he is and
wanting and needing me to comprehend.  Turn around and not let my son down
in his time of responsibility and courage to himself.

With eyes wide open, I turned back to him...

Part three to follow...