Date: Tue, 15 Feb 2022 06:35:01 +0000 (UTC) From: Thomas Gaige Subject: My Step-Brother Jacob - Chapter 100 Nifty: Please add this chapter to my story under your "Gay - Incest" section. Thank you. Copyright 2003, 2022 Thomas Gaige. All Rights Reserved. This story is protected under US copyright law. No part of it may be reproduced in any way without the express written consent of the author. The author grants www.nifty.org and its mirror sites permission to post the story on their websites. DISCLAIMER: The following story is FICTIONAL. It contains descriptions of homosexual activities. If you are not over 18 years of age, or if you find this type of story offensive, or viewing this material is illegal where you are, then please DO NOT READ IT! If you choose to read it, then - I hope you enjoy it! My Step-Brother Jacob Chapter 100 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- In our last chapter, Elizabeth had just had a C-Section, and Austin had been brought out to me. I'd helped clean him up, and do some other things with him, and the nurse had left me sitting in the exam room holding him, while she went to make arrangements for him to be taken to the nursery. Meanwhile, I was also waiting for word on Elizabeth, who was still in surgery, being sewn up. As I sat holding Austin, I finally had heard a soft knock at the door. I'd looked up expecting to see the nurse had come to get Austin, but instead, it was Elizabeth's doctor, and she looked distraught. "What's wrong?" I had asked. "I'm so very sorry," She began, and her jaw started to tremble a little. The blood in my veins suddenly turned to ice, as I dreaded what she would say next. "For what?" I asked, as I felt my eyes filling with tears. "We lost your step-mother." The doctor said. For a moment I thought I was going to vomit, then suddenly tears began streaming from my eyes, and my nose began running like a faucet, as my jaw began trembling, and I began shaking. "W-what happened?" I cried, miserably. The doctor drew herself up, and being a good British woman, steadily said, "Everything was fine, and suddenly, she had a massive stroke. Unfortunately, it was fatal. Again, I'm so very sorry. Is there anything we can do for you?" "Can I see her please?" I asked. "Certainly," the doctor said. Just then the nurse who'd brought Austin out to me returned. Immediately sensing something was wrong, the smile on her face faded. Elizabeth's doctor told her what had happened, and the nurse started to sniffle and told me how sorry she was. She offered to take Austin to the Nursery then. Austin slept on as I handed him over to her, and she put him in his incubator, and wheeled him away. "If you'll follow me, you can see Elizabeth," the doctor said. I don't remember walking down the hallway, or anything we may have said then, but apparently I followed her to a room where they had Elizabeth laying on a gurney, with a sheet spread over her. They pulled the sheet back, and left the room then. As soon as I saw poor Elizabeth lying there, lifeless, I burst into tears, and began sobbing hysterically. "I'm so sorry Elizabeth!" I sobbed, and I draped myself over her and hugged her. I stepped back rather quickly, as she already was beginning to feel cold. "Don't worry about anything! Go be with Dad. I'll take care of Jacob and Austin! He's a great baby! Big - .62 stones - and already calms down when he's in my arms and I'm talking to him. He's going to be a great guy! I'll make sure he knows all about you and Dad!" By then I couldn't say anything else, as I was crying too much. Once I calmed down a little, I leaned over and kissed her forehead and told her I loved her. Then I pulled the sheet up over her again, and turned around, wiped my face dry, and stepped out into the hallway. The doctor was still there, along with a nurse, who I noticed was crying. "C-can I have my step-brother, Elizabeth's son, come see her?" I asked. "I'll get him here right away. Jacob will want to say good-bye to her." "Certainly," The doctor said. "I need to go see another patient now, but the nurses at the station right there will help you with those arrangements." "Thank you Doctor," I said. She left then, while the nurse took me to a little room off the nurse's station, with a table and chair in it. There was a phone and a phone directory on the table, as well as a box of Kleenex. She told me to take my time, and said they'd be at the nurses' station just next door when I needed them. I sat down, ripped some tissues fromt he box, wiped my eyes, and nose, then thought for a minute. A minute later, I picked up the phone directory, and looked up taxi companies, and called one. When they answered, I asked if they could send a car to our house, and pick up a couple of people and bring them to the hospital. I said I'd meet them at the front entrance, and pay the driver. They said that would be fine, so I gave them our address. They said they'd have someone there in 20 minutes. Then I called Andy. I was surprised when Jacob answered instead. "Well? Is Austin here?" he asked, "Yup, and he's a big boy - .62 stones," I said. "Is Andy there?" "Yeah, he's asleep though," Jacob said. "We were watching a movie and must've both fallen asleep. So... it's really late, what happened? I thought it would've been over with long ago." "Sometimes, things take a while," I said. "Please wake Andy up, and put him on the phone" "What's wrong?" Jacob said. And quickly he said loudly "ANDY! Wake up!" "John? What's wrong?" Jacob asked, and I could tell he was getting worried. "Just put Andy on the line," I said. "He wants you, something's wrong!" Jacob said, to Andy. He was definitely worried then. "What took so long?" Andy asked groggily. "Listen!" I said. "I need you to keep cool, for Jacob! In about 15 minutes a taxi is coming to the house to pick the two of you up, to bring you here to the hospital. OK?" "OK, but why?" Andy asked, and he too sounded concerned then. "Be British for me Andy!" I said. "Jacob's going to need you now." "Why?" Andy asked, and he sounded anguished. I had to tell him quickly then, I had no choice, besides I was going to lose it again myself. "Elizabeth had a c-section to deliver Austin, and after Austin was out, while they were sewing her up, she had a massive stroke. Andy, she's dead!" I said, and I started crying again then. For a couple seconds there was silence, and then suddenly Jacob screamed into the phone "JOHN! Why's Andy crying hysterically?" I broke down and sobbing, I had no choice, I had to tell him. "Jake!" I said, sniffling. "A taxi's coming to get you guys, to come see your mom. I'm so sorry man, but - but she had a stroke and she's dead." I heard the phone hit the floor as Jacob started screaming "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" "Jacob! Andy!" I hollered. "It's OK Jacob!" I heard Andy then. He was still crying, but he was starting to try and handle things. "NO IT ISN'T!" Jacob screamed. "MUM'S DEAD!" "I know!" Andy wailed. "I'm so sorry!... Come here!" For a minute all I heard was crying - hysterical sobbing from Jacob, and pitiful whining from Andy. "ANDY!" I hollered. Suddenly, Andy came on the line. "I'm sorry John! Go! You must have stuff to do, and we'll be along when the taxi comes." he said, his voice shaking terribly yet. "OK - meet me at the main door in front of the hospital," I said. "OK," Andy said. And he hung up. I hung up then too, and allowed myself to cry for a couple minutes again. Finally, I pulled myself together and muttered to myself that it was time for me to be 'British' and Carry On too! So I got up, and stepped out to the nurse's station and told them I was going to the front door to meet Jacob and Andy, and we'd be back to see Elizabeth when they arrived, and that then we'd go to the nursery to look in on Austin before we headed home. Then I asked what else I needed to do, if anything. The nurse asked if I know what funeral home we would be using. I gave them the name of the one we'd used for my father. She also had a few papers I needed to sign. I asked then what I needed to do about Austin. They said there was nothing further to do until he was discharged, and that they had all the necessary documents already, indicating I was his legal guardian. She explained that Elizabeth had provided copies of the guardianship papers when she was admitted. Then they gave me a shock. "Would you be willing to donate Elizabeth's organs for transplant?" she asked. The idea hadn't even entered my mind! I blanked out for a few seconds, before my brain started mulling the idea around. Finally, I realized that it would be something Elizabeth would've liked to do, so I said yes. They had me sign more forms for the organ donations then, and told me we couldn't take too long for our visit, as they needed to harvest Elizabeth's organs within the hour yet, so they would still be viable. I told them that Jacob needed to see his mother, and it would all depend on that happening first, which depended upon when he got to the hospital, which I told her I expected to be shortly. The nurse said she understood. I headed to the front entrance of the hospital then. As soon as I arrived at the front door, I got a text from Andy. "In taxi, on our way." I responded with "OK". I thought for a moment, then realized it was only early evening in the States, so I quickly dialed Grandma's house. John answered, and was happy to hear from me. He asked if the baby had arrived. "Yes, Austin was born a little while ago. I need to talk to Grandma. Is she there?" I asked. "GRANDMA! Come Quick! Something's wrong!" John screamed. "What's wrong John?" Grandma asked a moment later, breathing a little heavily. Damnit to Hell, I started to cry again. "I'm s-sorry," I croaked. "A-Austin was born by c-section. He's fine. It's Elizabeth! She had a stroke and died." "OH NO!" Grandma cried, and she too started crying. "When?" she asked. "Less than an hour ago," I said. "I sent a taxi for Jacob and Andy, they're coming." "I'll be over as soon as I can get a flight!" Grandma said. "NO!" I cried. "That's not why I called. I just wanted to tell you." "I will be there as soon as possible!" She repeated, firmly. "Do not argue with me John!" "Yes Ma'am," I said, actually very thankful that she was coming. "Let me know when your plane's coming in, and Thank you!" "You're welcome," she said. "Oh!" I cried, as a taxi pulled up. "Jacob and Andy are here, gotta go." "Go!" she said, "I'll see you soon!" We hung up then. * * * As Jacob and Andy got out of the taxi, I quickly stepped over to it, and asked the driver how much the bill was. I paid him, and gave him a good tip. As the taxi pulled away, Jacob walked over to me and dissolving into tears, threw himself against me. I hugged him tightly, and kissed him on top of his head, and told him how sorry I was, and that I loved him. He just squeezed me tighter, so I just held him as he cried, while Andy, who was also crying looked on. Once Jacob cried himself out for the moment, he let go of me. "So, what do we do now" he asked. "Well, I thought you'd want to go see her for a minute, to say good-bye," I said, my jaw trembling, and my eyes watering. "I do, but I don't all at the same time!" he said, and he started crying again. "I know," I said, and I pulled myself together. "C'mon." I led the way then, holding Jacob under my arm, with Andy walking beside us, to the room Elizabeth was in. "D-does she look bad?" Jacob asked, looking frightened, just before we were going to walk inside. Andy looked nervous too. "No, she looks like she's sleeping," I said. The nurse opened the door, and ushered us in, I was surprised, that they'd pulled the sheet down, and had taken the cap off her head and combed her hair a little. Her head was resting on a pillow. She did look just like she was asleep. Jacob took one look at her and threw himself at me again, and began sobbing hysterically again. Andy too broke down. I couldn't help it, either. So for a couple minutes, we all cried again. Finally Andy pulled himself together and stepped over to Elizabeth. Looking down at her, he stroked her hair and told her how very sorry he was that she'd left us, and that he loved her very much. He thanked her for all she'd done to help him, and then said good-bye. Quickly he stepped back then, and I gently pushed Jacob up to the gurney. He pulled himself together and looked at her for a moment, then told her how much he already missed her, and that he loved her. Then he turned into me and started crying again. I gently pulled him back then, and Andy stepped back toward the door. "Aren't you going to say good-bye too?" Jacob asked, looking up at me, surprised. "I saw her earlier, and told her how much I loved her, and said my good-bye then," I said, wiping my nose. "Oh!" Jacob said. Then looking back at his mother one last time, he called "Good-Bye Mum! I'll always love you!" As all of us started crying again, I ushered everyone out the door. "Now what do we do?" Jacob asked. I looked over to the little room next to the nurses' station, and it was empty, so I pulled Jacob and Andy over there and we went inside and closed the door. "So?" Jacob asked. "Well," I said. "There's something you should know. Before you arrived, they asked me if we'd be willing to donate your Mum's organs for transplant." "I don't know," Jacob said. "That's kind of weird." "Well," I said, suddenly worried I'd caused more of a problem for Jacob when I already had agreed to it, without first asking him. "I believe that it's something your Mum would be most happy to do. Especially since she's a nurse, and has dedicated her life to saving other people. And this way, a part, probably several parts of her, will live on, and give other people who might've died without her donations, more years to spend with their families." "I suppose that's all true," Jacob said. "It's just that, I don't really like thinking of her as being split up and different parts of her being all over the place. I mean what if we walked by someone on the street, who had her heart in them. We wouldn't know, and well, that's just odd." Andy was looking at me questioningly, so I gave him a pointed look. I was surprised when he suddenly said, "Your mother and I once discussed this very thing, and she told me that she would be most happy to donate anything anyone needed, and that she thought if everyone would do the same thing, so many people would be able to live longer happier lives. I think you should really consider it!" "Mum really told you that?" Jacob asked, looking at Andy. "She most certainly did!" Andy said, looking directly into Jacob's eyes, while I marveled at how well he could lie directly to someone's face! "OK, we should do it then - since that's what Mum wanted!" Jacob said. "You're sure?" I asked. "Yes," Jacob said. I sighed and allowed myself a tiny smile. "What?" he asked. "Well, that's good, because I already said yes," I said. "I'm sorry Jacob, I was so upset, I never thought about asking you for your opinion first. I could've stopped it yet though, if you did object." "That's OK," Jacob said quietly. "I know you're upset too. And if that's what Mum would've wanted, then that's what I want too." "Cool!" I said, and I looked at Andy, who just nodded ever so slightly at me. "So, what do we do now?" Jacob asked. "Do we just go home?" "Well, basically yes, but, I wondered if you might want to meet Austin first?" I said. I was surprised when Jacob immediately said "No!" "What?" I asked. "I don't want to see him," Jacob said, and he looked both angry, and a little guilty. "Why not?" I asked. Jacob was quiet for a minute, while both Andy and I scrutinized him carefully. "You aren't blaming him for your mother's death are you?" I asked finally. "Well who else's fault is it?" Jacob asked, his face turning red, as he stared a little belligerently at me, then, after a moment, he shifted his gaze down to the table. Nobody spoke for a moment. Finally, I said, "Jacob, Austin is a little baby. He didn't ask to be conceived, and he did nothing wrong. It's not his fault that your mother had a stroke. It's nobody's fault. Your mother had a blood vessel in her brain that was weak in one area, and when her blood pressure rose, it burst. It could've happened at any time. And Austin is your mother's son, just like you are. She loved him very much! She's counting on you to help me and Andy raise him. He's your little brother and he's going to love you. And I know you already love him. You can't turn your back on him. Especially when it's not his fault." "WELL WHO'S FAULT IS IT THEN???? Jacob cried pitifully, and he burst into another round of hysterical sobbing. I moved over and put my arms around him, and let him cry himself out again. When Jacob had calmed down again, I looked him in the eye, and said, "Jacob, it's nobody's fault that your mom died. She didn't want to die, and we didn't want her to, and if Austin could make decisions already, he wouldn't have wanted her to either, but sometimes shit happens! I'm sorry. But it's not Austin's fault!" "Fine," he said finally, sounding defeated. For a moment, nobody said anything else. Then finally Jacob asked, "So... now that Mum's gone, you're my legal guardian, aren't you?" "Yeah," I said, looking sadly at him. "I want you to know, I don't mind in the least being your guardian. I just wish your mother was still here, and I didn't have to be. But, now that I am, I'll always be here for you, no matter what! And you can come to me with any problem you have, and I'll do my best to help you! I love you very much Jacob!" "I love you too," he said, and he hugged me again. "But please don't promise me things that you can't control." "What do you mean?" I asked, furrowing my brow as I looked down at him. "You can't know you'll always be here for me," he said. "Mum never thought she'd die, neither did Dad, and Harry's family stole him from me, and don't even get me started on my real father. Like you said, Shit happens. You may not be able to keep your promise, so don't make it! Quite honestly, I'm getting used to being abandoned. Maybe I should just go live by myself somewhere, until I die too." As I looked down at him, and he looked up at me, his expression was that of someone who'd been beaten down enough times, he just didn't care anymore. I felt so awful for him, but I knew exactly how he felt, and he was right! But it worried me how he talked about going off by himself. "Jacob," I said, "I know you've lost a lot of people in a short time. I have too. So I kind of understand how you feel, but listen, it isn't always like this. You have to remember all the good times we've all had together, and, well... we have to carry on, and be determined to make more good memories with those of our family and friends who are still here. We have to be there for each other as long as we can be, and I promise that I will be here for you as long as I can! OK?" "Well, OK, as long as you're not saying you'll 'always' be there, because nobody knows if that's true or not," he said. "OK, well, like I said then," I said. "I'll be here for you as long as I can!" "OK," Jacob said. He leaned into me again, and we hugged each. When we parted again, I sighed, and asked, "So are you ready to go meet Austin now?" "I guess," Jacob said, although not too enthusiastically. "Let's go then," I said, and I stood up and opened the door. I stopped by the nurse's desk and told them we were going down to the nursery to see Austin, then we were going home, and asked if they needed anything else from us. They said they didn't, and told us Elizabeth was already in surgery, having her organs harvested. They told us that her heart, lungs, liver, kidneys, corneas, and some skin would be used for transplants, and that the recipients, while very sorry for our loss, were most thankful for allowing the donations that would be saving their lives. Jacob looked a little nauseous I thought, so I just nodded and thanked them for telling us. Then she handed me Elizabeth's overnight bag. "We packed her things up for you," the nurse said, sniffling a little. I thanked her quickly, as I felt a lump forming in my throat again, and we left, heading to the nursery. When we got to the nursery, the nurse in charge was expecting us, even though it was such a late hour, and took us into the same exam room I'd been in with Austin earlier. Then she went and got Austin for us. She wheeled him into the exam room a few minutes later, in a bassinette. Of course, he was crying. He stopped the moment after she'd picked him up and put him in my arms and I started swaying a little and talking softly to him. Immediately he gurgled and smiled slightly, and calmed down. "You sure do have a way with babies," she said. "Have you had a lot of experience with other babies?" "No, just my son, but I only got to hold him for about a half hour, before they took him from us," I said, sadly. "Who took him from you?" the nurse cried, looking horrified. "Oh!" I said. I explained then about Dylan, and how we'd been too young to keep him, even though we had wanted to, and that Lynn's father had insisted that Dylan be put up for adoption. "Oh! That's such a shame," The nurse said. "I think you will be a great father!" I smiled and thanked her, and explained that Austin was actually mine and Jacob's half-brother. "Yes," she said, smiling sadly, her eyes watering. "I'm aware. I was a friend of Elizabeth's" Quickly she turned to leave then, telling us we could take as long as we wanted and that we could just tap on the nursery door when we were ready to have Austin returned to the nursery. I thanked her and she left. After gently rocking side to side and humming a little for Austin, how gurgled a bit more. I looked at Jacob and asked him if he wanted to hold Austin. "No!" he said emphatically. "I thought you understood he didn't cause your mother's death," I said. "It's not that," Jacob said. "Well, then what is it?" I asked. He blushed a little, but then said, "I'm afraid I'll drop him or something! I want to wait til we're somewhere safe for me to hold him - like on your bed maybe, once we're home. When does he come home anyway?" "I don't know, but I know it's not tonight," I said. "And fine, you don't have to hold him just yet then." I sat down opposite Jacob then, holding Austin, so Jacob could see him. I was greatly relieved when after a while, Jacob offered Austin his finger, and spoke to him, and Austin then smiled again and poked at Jacob's finger. Jacob actually smiled slightly. After a while, I turned to Andy, who was sitting next to Jacob, and held Austin out to him. He looked very skittish about handling a baby too, but finally, after i explained about how to hold him and keep his neck supported, Andy took Austin, and as he sat there looking down at Austin, who was smiling up at him, tears began streaming down his cheeks. Jacob started to cry then again, and God help me, I got teary-eyed as well. "Please take him back again John!" Andy said, finally. "I need to blow my nose again." I took Austin back and gave him a kiss and put him in his bassinette and said I'd be right back. I wheeled him out to the nursery and tapped on the door, and the nurse came to get him. I asked then how long Austin needed to stay at the hospital, and she looked at his chart, and it said he should remain at the hospital until the following day. Newborns generally needed to remain there at least 24 hours she told me. I told her that was fine, that I'd be back later in the day to check in on him, and that we'd pick him up late the following morning. I got Jacob and Andy then, and we went to the parking garage, got in the car, and I drove us home. * * * As soon as we walked in the door, and patted Jack, who sniffed busily at us, because of all the strange smells, I let him out to pee. He scampered right back in after he'd done his business. I went to the bar and got a bottle of brandy and three glasses. I gave Jacob a little, and Andy and I each a bit more than I'd given Jacob. Then, as we were all exhausted, we went straight up to bed, taking our Brandy with us. Jacob peed, swallowed the rest of his brandy, leaving the empty glass in the bathroom, and went to his room, closing the door behind him. "We're here if you need us," I called. "I'm OK," he replied, but I could tell his voice was strained. Something inside me snapped then, and suddenly I was overcome with fury. "I'll be back in a couple minutes," I said tersely, and I headed quickly back downstairs, leaving Andy staring after me, wonderingly. Jack remained sitting next to Andy, looking after me oddly too. When I got to the kitchen, I pressed the garage door opener button, then burst out the back door, and stamped into the garage. In the back of the garage hung an old boxing bag of my father's. I started punching the hell out of it, pounding it harder and harder, as I screamed obscenities, I'm sure were loud enough for Andy, Jacob, and the neighbors to hear, as sobbing I beat the shit out of the boxing bag, until suddenly my fist went right through a weak area in the fabric, and the beans that filled the bag began to pour out all over the floor. I pulled my hand out of the bag,and sank to the ground sobbing. Oddly, I was most immediately very upset I'd broken my father's boxing bag. After a couple minutes, my anguish turned back to where it belonged, the loss of Elizabeth, and of my father, my mother, Mike, Lynn, Laney's and my unborn baby, and even Dylan, who was still alive, but had just been taken from me. For a few minutes, I just sobbed pitifully, laying in a heap on the garage floor, as the filling of my father's boxing bag continued trickling out of the bag onto me and the floor. Finally, exhausted, but the anger at least, having dissipated, I got up to my feet, and shook my head, to get the bean filling from the boxing bag out of my hair, and turned to go back into the house. There stood Andy, staring soberly at me. Suddenly I felt embarrassed. "Do you feel any better?" he asked. "Not really," I said. "I'm not angry anymore though... at least not violently angry." "That's something I guess," he said. "Come along, let's get you cleaned up and to bed." I followed Andy into the house then, and stopped as he spun around and looked me over under the kitchen light. He pulled a few more boxing bag beans from my hair, then stepped over to the refrigerator, and pulled a couple bags of frozen peas from the freezer, and told me to put them on my hands for a few minutes. I was surprised when I looked at my hands that they looked bruised and scraped. My hand that had gone through the bag was even bleeding a little. So, I let Andy take my hands and place them on the counter, then gently he placed the bags of peas on them. Then he pulled another glass from the cupboard and poured me a liberal amount of Brandy, from the bottle I'd left on the counter and held it to my lips. "Drink!" he said. I gave a slight chuckle, but swallowed a large swig of the brandy he poured into my mouth. "Thanks Andy," I said, softly. "I'm sorry for my behavior." "Think nothing of it," He said. "I may go finish that bag off myself!" I couldn't help chucking then, and he flashed a small smile too. I dumped the bags of peas off my hands then as they were getting too cold. "Let's go to bed," I said. "I'm exhausted." "OK," Andy said, and he picked up the bags of peas and put them back in the freezer., while I drained the rest of the brandy. We went upstairs then, and peed together. I let Andy put a bit of triple antibiotic ointment on my knuckles and wrap my hands with gauze. On our way to our room, we paused outside Jacob's door, but heard nothing, so we went into our room. We both stripped and crawled into bed, turning the lights out. I had expected it to take me a while to fall asleep, if I was going to at all, but I was out cold almost immediately, and I slept for 10 hours straight. It was afternoon when I woke up. * * * "Did you sleep well?: Andy asked. I was surprised to see him up, fully dressed, and wide awake. He was sitting on the bed next to me, sipping a mug of tea. "I guess," I said. "I don't remember." "You've been snoring for 10 hours!" He said. "I'm glad you got some rest though." "Sorry," I said. "I was exhausted. Did you get some sleep?" "Some," he said. "I'm sorry I kept you awake," I said. "How's Jacob?" "It wasn't you who kept me awake. Jacob didn't sleep so well," Andy said. "I woke up to him whilst he was having a terrible nightmare. I ended up in bed with him, and he finally did get some sleep. I didn't get too much though." "Oh God!" I said, frowning. "I'm sorry Andy. You should've woken me." "Tosh!" he said. "You don't have to be the only one who can fix things for everyone! I'm more than willing to help out when I can, and this time there was nothing you could do that I couldn't, so I handled it. Besides you really needed some sleep!" "Thanks Man!" I said, smiling. "Now!" Andy said. "It's 1:30 in the afternoon. You wanted to go see Austin, and Grandma called. Her flight arrives here at 5:00... but, you don't have to worry about picking them up. She had Boner call Evan, who's picking them up for us, and bringing them here. I don't know what the rest of your schedule is, but there are several phone messages you should probably attend to, and if you're hungry, I'll whip up some ham, eggs, and toast while you shower. Oh! and there's a cup of coffee just over there for you! It should still be relatively warm." With that he pointed to a cup of coffee sitting on my nightstand. "Wow!" I said, smiling at him. "Thanks so much man! You have no idea how much I appreciate all this." "You're welcome." Andy said. "Your messages are by your coffee. Would you prefer to respond to them now, or after you shower, and have breakfast?" "After I think, thanks," I said. "Can you just take them down to the kitchen? I'll get up in a couple minutes and shower, and be down in 15 minutes. I'll look at the messages then." "OK," he said, smiling. "I'll have your breakfast ready in 15 minutes then." "Where's Jacob now?" I asked. "I sent him on foot, with Jack, down to Fletcher's to pick up a couple items," Andy said. "We really didn't need anything, but I thought it would do him some good to get some air, and get away from the house. And Jack always appreciates a good walk." "Good idea," I said. And I reached for the coffee and took a long swallow. "MMMMmmm! Now that hits the spot! Great cup of coffee!" I said, grinning. Andy had made it very strong, and added a dollop of Irish Whiskey to it, along with a good amount of cream! Andy grinned, then turned and headed back down stairs. * * * Not really feeling like getting up and getting going, I allowed myself 5 more minutes to laze around in bed, sipping my coffee. Finally, I got up, used the toilet, and showered, then dressed and headed downstairs, to find Andy had indeed made a fine breakfast for me. I was surprised at how hungry I was, and devoured everything in record time. "Good grief!" And said. "Do you want more?" "I'm good, it tasted great! Thanks Andy!" I said. "I can't believe how hungry I was!" "When did you last eat?" he asked. I thought for a moment, and finally said, "yesterday at breakfast maybe?" "Well I can make more if you want," Andy offered. "I'm good, thanks though," I said. As Andy took my dishes away, I looked at the list of phone messages Andy had taken for me. There were quite a few. A few were from friends of Elizabeth, who she worked with. Mr. Walsh called to see if there was a problem, as he thought he'd heard a burglar in our garage the night before. I tinged red as I read that one. Next to the message Andy had written that he'd called Mr. Walsh and explained. Grandma's message about their arrival was amongst the others, a couple of the guys had called from the States, and then there was one from the mortuary, asking that I call when convenient. I decided I'd best call them, as well as Elizabeth's Barrister. I called Elizabeth's Barrister first, and when the secretary heard why I was calling, pulled him from a meeting to take my call. He was of course most upset and very sorry to hear about Elizabeth's passing, and offered any help we might need. I thanked him and told him that for the moment I couldn't think of anything, but that I'd be in touch after the funeral, to find out about finalizing Elizabeth's affairs. I then called the funeral home, and the director asked if I could stop by to make the funeral arrangements. I looked at my watch and said I'd be there in a little while. "Are you planning to consult with Jacob?" Andy asked. "About what?" Jacob asked, having heard Andy's question as he and Jack came in the back door. He dropped Jack's leash, and Jack ran over to me to be petted. As I took Jack's leash off, and Jacob placed a bag on the counter, I said, "That was the funeral home. They want us, or at least me, to stop over to set the funeral arrangements. I'm going on my way to the hospital to check on Austin. Do you want to come?" "No!" Jacob said, quickly. "OK," I said. "Do you want to help with the arrangements in any way?" "No," Jacob said. "I-I... you can do it... Please?" "Sure, it's no problem," I said. "I get it. I just don't want you to leave you out of the planning if you want to help." "I don't!" he said. "It's going to be hard enough just to attend." He was sniffling then, and his eyes were filled with tears. "I understand," I said. "I'll take care of everything. Did you want to go see Austin though? I could swing back to pick you up" "Aren't you bringing him home today?" Jacob asked. "No," I said. "They told me he can't come home til tomorrow, so I thought we'd go get him late tomorrow morning." "Oh!" Jacob said. "Well... it's OK - I'll see him when he gets here tomorrow." I looked quizzically at Jacob, and he said quickly, "No, it's not Austin. It's just I really don't want to go back to that place!" "I see," I said. "That's fine." "We have things to do here anyway!" Andy said. "So you run along John, and we'll see you whenever you get home." "OK," I said, getting up. I grabbed my keys and headed out. * * * I went first to the funeral home, and spent about an hour, going over plans for the funeral, picking out a casket, etc. It was relatively easy really. I had them follow the same funeral plan as we had for my father, less the military honors of course. And I chose the same casket we'd bought for Dad, so they'd match... not that anyone would ever see them. The idea was there though. They asked me to drop off a dress, and any jewelry we wanted her buried in. I said that I'd drop the dress and jewelry off as soon as possible. I told them though that before we closed the coffin for the last time, we wanted her jewelry back. They said most people did. We wrote up the obituary, then I signed the paperwork, and left. My next stop was at the Bell & Crown, just for a moment, to let George know I wouldn't be playing that week, and to place an order for some food trays to be prepared for the luncheon after the funeral, that we'd host at our house. Of course George, Sophie, and Arthur were very sad. Poor Sophie was in tears. We visited a few minutes, then I left. I went to the hospital then, to see Austin. I was surprised by how many nurses, doctors, and other staff stopped me to extend their sincerest condolences. Most had just heard the news when they arrived at work that morning, and most were in tears. They'd all loved Elizabeth very much, and all offered any help we might need. It took me quite a while to finally get to the nursery, to see Austin! "And," the nurse in charge, said to me, smiling finally, after having expressed her condolences, "you're just in time to feed him!" "I hadn't even thought of that," I said, sadly. "Elizabeth had wanted to breast feed him." "I know," the nurse said, suddenly looking ready to cry again. She pulled herself together though and said, "Unfortunately, that won't happen now, so at the his pediatrician's advice, we've started him on a formula, which he seems to like, and is tolerating very well. So, we suggest you continue using that. It comes canned, and ready to serve, or in powder, which can be mixed with water. Now, if you'll come with me, I'll show you exactly what to do, and you can feed your brother!" I went with the nurse then, and she showed me how to fit a liner in the baby bottle, and how to measure out the formula. We used the canned variety, but she told me all we had to do to use powdered was put the right number of scoops of dry mix, and the right amount of water in a shaker and shake it up and pour it into the lined bottle. She then showed me how to heat the formula properly, and check that it wasn't too hot. Finally, we had a bottle ready to give to Austin. When they brought Austin in, he was being his usual vociferous self, until I called to him to "knock it off, lunch has arrived!". We all laughed then, because as soon as I spoke, he calmed right down! "That is just weird!" the one nurse said. "He certainly knows your voice!" the other said. I couldn't help grinning. "Very well then," the first nurse said. She picked Austin up and put him in my arms, and I sat down with him, telling him to "calm down, it was lunch time!" Austin gurgled, and smiled. The nurse with the bottle, showed me how to feed Austin with it, and then handed the bottle to me. And that boy was hungry! He happily finished off the entire bottle, then burped, on his own, yawned, and looked up at me smiling! I grinned, and started to rock him and softly sing to him. "What are you singing to that baby?" the nurse asked me, looking strangely at me. "Oh!" I said. "I'm singer. I sing all kinds of songs." "Well!" she said. "I've never heard anyone sing beer drinking songs to a baby before!" "Um... well, it seems to have worked," I said, grinning, and nodding down at Austin, who was fast asleep. "So it has!" she said. "I guess, the content of the song really doesn't matter at his age." She left then, and I leaned back in my chair, and put my feet up on a stool, and the next thing I knew, I was being shaken gently. "Wha-???" I asked, drowsily, blinking in the bright light. Then I realized I was still holding the baby and gasped, "Oh God!" "Shhhh..." the nurse said. "You were both napping. It was quite sweet!" "But what if I'd dropped him?" I gasped, wide awake then. "Well, you didn't," she said. "Although, you probably should be careful in the future, that you're sitting somewhere, where if he does slide out of your arms, he'll be safe!" "Yeah!" I said, a little daunted. Looking at the clock on the wall, I realized the two of us had been asleep for about 20 minutes. "Well, I better let you put him back in the nursery. I have to get going." I said. "What time will you be back to collect Austin tomorrow then?" the nurse asked. "Would 11:00 work?" I asked. "That will be fine," she said. "Make sure you have an appropriate baby seat in the car!" "It's already in there," I said. "We planned ahead!" "Very good then, we'll see you tomorrow," she said. I kissed Austin gently on the forehead, as he slept on, and carefully handed him back to the nurse, who put him in his bassinette. I left then, as she wheeled Austin back to the nursery. I called Andy as I walked back to the car, to let him know I was on my way, and asked if we needed anything. He said we didn't. I told him I'd be home shortly then. On my way home, remembering that Andy, had had Jacob pick up several potatoes and fixings for salad that morning, I stopped at the butcher shop and picked up enough steaks to go with that, for everyone for supper. * * * I had only been home for a few minutes, when there was suddenly a knock on the back door. Then, without waiting for an answer the door, swung open, and in walked Grandma, followed by Evan, with her luggage. Confused, I looked around, then said, "Where are the boys?" "Oh, I'm sorry John," she said. "I didn't bring them this time. I thought it best they not add to the confusion, besides, they have school now." "Oh!" I said, surprised, and a bit disappointed. We all exchanged hugs and kisses, and Grandma and Evan told us how sorry they were for our loss. Finally, I asked, "So, who's taking care of the boys then?" "Steve and Laney," Grandma said, as she gave Andy a hug. "I'm sorry," I said. "Boner and LANEY??? You meant Cindy, didn't you?" "No, I meant Laney," Grandma said. "Are they an item now?" I asked. Grandma gave me a strange look, and said, "No, Steve is still with Cindy, but I get the impression, even more now by what you just asked, that they're not as hot an item as they used to be! As for Laney, she had brought Harry down for the long weekend, and they were still there when you called. I'd already asked Steve to watch John and Scott, but she volunteered to stay as well. I took Harry back into Manhattan, and his mother picked him up at the train station, before I switched to the shuttle for JFK." "OK," I said, mulling that over for a moment. "So, Boner and Laney are playing house with the boys. Huh!" "Should I be worried?" Grandma asked, looking at me questioningly. "Oh, NO!" I cried. "Sorry. Either one can handle the boys on their own. I just find it very odd that Laney stayed, and Bone apparently was OK with that. I'd have thought he'd have had Cindy stay with them." "Exactly what I had anticipated too!" Grandma said. "But, like I said, I don't think everything's comin' up roses anymore between Steve and Cindy. Anything light you care to shed on the subject?" "No," I said, shaking my head. "It's very interesting though!" "Yeah!" Grandma said, looking carefully at me. Quickly then, I got up and stepped over to Grandma, gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek, and thanked her for coming. Then I told her to sit down, and offered a drink. "Would you like some tea?" Andy jumped in. "Well, yes, as a matter of fact, I would please Andy!" she said, smiling. As Andy bustled about, making Grandma, and himself cups of tea, Grandma asked about Austin. I told her about my few short visits with him, and that I'd be bringing him home the next morning. "Well I can't wait to meet him," Grandma said. I noticed she was watching Jacob while we talked about Austin, and that like me, she too had noticed that Jacob didn't exhibit any excitement over his little brother's home-coming. "How's grilled steak sound for supper?" I asked, deciding to let Jacob be for the moment. "Please don't go to any extra work John," Grandma said. "Well, we have to eat!" I said, smiling. "Well then let me cook for you," She said. "I came to help out." "Tell you what, you can help me, then nobody's doing all the work!" I said. "Sounds like a plan. But let's keep the meals simple. No need for a lot of work!" She said. "OK," I said. "I'll grill the steaks I picked up, and you can make the salad. Since it's a little early yet, I'll throw some potatoes in to bake." "Well, that does sound easy enough, and delicious!" Grandma said, smiling. So, as we visited, I set about getting the potatoes prepped and in the oven, and Grandma made a large bowl of salad. Once the potatoes were baked, Evan and I grilled the steaks then, and shortly we all sat down to eat. While the food was good, nobody was in a jovial mood at all, so it was a somewhat somber meal. That evening, after supper, Evan left, and we watched a little television, then we all turned in. We'd planned on Grandma using Jacob's room, and the twins bunking in the den, with Jacob joining us. We had thought it too soon for anyone to use Elizabeth's room. Since the twins didn't come, Jacob slept in the den, with the understanding that if he needed us, he could just come to our room. I was a little surprised, that he didn't do so. * * * The next morning, I was surprised to smell coffee and bacon cooking. Andy was sleeping peacefully next to me. Grandma must be up and in the kitchen! I got up and pulled my jeans and a T-shirt on, and wandered down to the kitchen. I was right. Grandma was at the stove, sipping on a mug of coffee, as bacon sizzled in a frying pan. "Did you sleep well?" I asked, as she smiled at me and began pouring me a cup of coffee. "Actually, very well," She said. "Yourself?" "Thanks," I said, as she handed me my coffee. "Yes, I did sleep well, surprisingly." "How's Jacob doing?" she asked then. "Hard to tell," I said. "Of course it's only proper that he be very upset yet. His mother only died a day ago." "Oh of course," Grandma said. "I actually thought he was in better shape last evening than I'd expected he would be. Although... I had expected him to be a little more excited about Austin coming home today." "Yeah, about that," I said. "Um... when he came to the hospital to say good-bye to Elizabeth, I asked him if he wanted to go see Austin, and at first, he adamantly refused. Initially he blamed Austin for his mother's death!" "I wondered if it might be something like that," she said. "So... does he still feel that way?" "Well, we spent a while discussing it, while we were still at the hospital, and I'd thought we had changed his mind about that, and he did go visit Austin then, although he didn't want to hold him. Claimed he didn't want to drop him. So I let it drop. But then yesterday, I asked if he wanted to go see Austin at the hospital, and he declined to go. Before Elizabeth went into labor, he was very excited about the baby, and couldn't wait to meet him, so... I'm not sure exactly what he's thinking now, but it does seem as though he may still be having a problem with Austin," I said. "Well, I'm sorry that's the case," Grandma said. "I suppose we'll find out once Austin comes home today." "Yeah," I said. "I'm going to keep a good eye on him." "Well, I'm here if you need me," she said. "Thanks," I said, smiling. * * * Grandma and I ate our breakfast together, and a while later, Jacob wandered into the kitchen and had his breakfast, while Grandma and I sat having another cup of coffee. As we talked, he seemed OK... still depressed over his mother of course, but otherwise, OK. Andy finally stumbled into the kitchen, yawning, and rubbing his eyes, still later. "Good morning Sleepyhead!" Grandma, chuckled. "Do you want your breakfast now, or would you like to wait a while?" "MMmm... I'll wait," And mumbled, as he plopped down in a chair next to me. "Well, you're going to have to get it yourself then," I said. "Grandma and I are going to get Austin now!" "Oh! OK," Andy said. "I'm good." "Wanta, come with us?" Grandma asked Jacob. "Um... I'll wait here with Andy," He said. Grandma glanced meaningfully at me. "OK," I said. "We'll be back as soon as we can." Grandma joined me then, and we took off to the hospital. * * * A little over 2 hours later, Grandma and I arrived at home, with Austin. Jack of course bounced around barking, and sniffed wildly at Austin when I carried him into the house. I was happy that Jack's barking didn't seem to bother Austin. Although when Jack cold-nosed him in the face, Austin squawked, causing Jack to jump back barking again, as we all chuckled. I carried Austin right into the living room, and sat down on the couch. Jacob and Andy sat in the winged-back chairs facing me. "What do we do now?" Jacob asked. "You my boy, are going to give your brother a bottle!" Grandma stated, as she walked into the living room carrying a bottle of formula she'd prepared. "John, give your brother to your brother now!" "What?" Jacob asked, looking a little frightened. I grinned, and said, "Come over here and sit next to me." Jacob looked a little uncertainly at me, but finally got up and sat down next to me. "Now, I'm going to put Austin in your arms," I said. "He won't break, just hold him firmly, but gently, with your left arm under him, but on his far side, and cradle his head in the crook of your arm, so his head is supported. Babie's necks are weak, and they need to be supported." "But-" Jacob began, but it was too late, I'd already started to hand Austin off to him. A few seconds later, Austin was laying in Jacob's arms, as Jacob sat awkwardly not knowing what to do. "OK, now you can let go with your right arm," Grandma said. "Here take this." As she held the bottle out, Jacob cautiously took it, and Grandma then took his hand that was holding the bottle, and directed it to Austin's mouth, as she said, "Now hold the tip of it to his lips, and when he opens his beak, push just the tip in. Let him take as much of it as he wants." Jacob looked very nervous, but allowed Grandma to guide his hand, and as soon as the tip of the nipple hit his lips, Austin lifted his head a bit, reaching for it, so Grandma helped Jacob push the nipple into Austin's mouth, and instantly, Austin started to suckle, drinking thirstily. "Oh my God!" Jacob cried, smiling. "He's actually doing it!" "Of course he is," I said, grinning. "He's hungry!" "This is so weird!" Jacob said. "What's weird?" Andy asked. "That I'm holding an entire little bitty human being with just my one arm. It feels weird when he moves," Jacob said. "Well, you'll get used to it quickly, because you're going to have to help take care of him," I said. "Don't worry Jacob, in just a few days, you'll be handling him, like you've been doing it all your life!" Grandma said, smiling. "I think he's done already!" Jacob said. "Damn! He drank that fast!" "Time to burp him now!" Grandma said. "How do I do that?" Jacob asked. "Well, let me help you," she said. She stepped in front of Jacob then and, walked him through holding Austin upright, bracing his head, so his neck was supported, and using the other hand to gently pat him on the back. Suddenly Austin let out a large belch. Even his eyes bulged in surprise for a second. "Holy shit!" Jacob gasped. Then he added "Ewww!" as Austin drooled a bit. "Language young man!" Grandma admonished. "You need to set a good example for Austin you know!" "I'm sorry," Jacob said. "Um... his butt feels hot all of a sudden." "Now, you get to change his diaper!" I chuckled. "How come you're not doing anything!" Jacob cried, crinkling his face at the idea of having to change Austin's diaper. "I've already done his diaper a couple times, and fed him a couple times!" I said. "But I'll show you how to do the diaper." Smiling, Grandma stepped aside. "OK Buddy," I said, taking Austin from Jacob. "Let's get you freshened up! C'mon Jake. You too Andy." "Where're we going?" Andy asked. "Someplace easier to work," I said. "Besides, we don't have any diapers down here!" With that I carried Austin upstairs, to Andy's and my room, where I'd set up Austin's crib in the corner, with the changing table next to it. Jacob, Andy, Grandma, and Jack, all followed me. "OK, you two stand on each side of me, and watch," I said. I laid Austin down on the changing table, and said "Never leave him alone on the changing table. He could roll off. Notice I'm keeping a hand on him, as I reach for the supplies!" I showed the guys then how to undress Austin. When I pulled Austin's shirt up, Jacob gasped and cried, "What's that thing?" I chuckled and said, "That's the umbilical cord. It'll fall off soon, according to the nurse." "Oh God!" Andy gasped, and he looked nauseous. Jacob just stared at it in disbelief. Finally he said, "I can't do this until that thing's gone and he's all healed up!" Grandma started laughing then and said, "Well, I remember feeling that way myself when I first had my baby too. So I guess I can't fault you on that." "Guess it's a good thing I'm not that squeamish!" I said. "But soon as that sucker's gone, you guys'll have to double up your assistance!" Grandma and I laughed again, but Andy and Jacob both looked stricken yet. "OK, OK, watch now!" I said. And I proceeded to remove Austin's wet diaper. "Wow!" Jacob gasped. "He's got a big willy!" I chuckled and said, "Runs in the family!" Andy snorted, and Jacob snickered, while Grandma just gave me one of her looks. Chuckling, I showed them then how to use a baby wipe to clean him, and then put on the dry diaper. Finally I re-dressed Austin in his onesie. "Maybe it's time for a nap now," Grandma advised. "Good idea!" I said. I laid Austin down in his crib then, and pulled his little blanket over him, then pulled the rail up, locking it in place. Softly then I started singing to Austin, while I gently rubbed his chest. "What kind of a lullaby is that?" Grandma asked. "Oh that's a popular drinking song down at the Bell & Crown!" Andy said, smiling. "You're going to sing drinking songs to the baby?" Grandma asked, looking a little critically at me. "We have to get him ready to come down to the pub!" Jacob said. I snorted and laughed then and said, "I don't think he's going to become a bar patron all that soon!" "Well, it is a good song!" Jacob said. "Besides, he liked it - he's asleep already!" "OK then," Grandma said. "Turn on the monitor, and bring the remote piece and let's go see what kind of range you get with this." "Oh, it works really well," I said. "We tested it already. We can hear what's happening in here all over the house, and even outside and in the garage - surprisingly. The cellar is sketchy though - usually very hard to hear anything down there." "Well, then let's go have a snack, and let Austin sleep a bit," Grandma said. Quietly, we all headed out into the hall then, except for Jack, who began looking frantically back and forth between us and the crib. He literally looked worried, and I expect he wondered why we would walk off and leave Austin there alone. "C'mon Jack," I said, "it's alright." Obediently Jack followed us, but he kept looking back behind him, as if he was worried. We went to the kitchen then, and pulled all kinds of lunch meats, cheeses, breads, crackers, spreads, and pickles and olives out of the fridge, and tossed them on the table. I grabbed a bunch of knives, napkins, and plates, while Jacob ran to the basement and brought up several cold bottles of beer, and we sat down to have lunch. For a few minutes we happily discussed our successes in feeding and changing Austin and getting him down for a nap, talking quietly of course, so we could hear Austin's breathing in the monitor. After a while though, I noticed Jacob looked upset, and I asked if he was OK. "I'm OK," he said, but he sniffled a little and I saw he had tears in his eyes. "It's just, today was supposed to be a happy day, with Mum brining her baby home, all happy, and everything, and she never got to do it, and never will, and Austin won't even ever get to meet her!" I smiled sadly and put an arm around Jacob, and said, "I know Jake, but listen, I truly believe your mom's here with us, laughing at you being surprised at Austin's umbilical cord, and happy that you enjoyed feeding him, and did it so well. And she'll be watching, so she'll know all about him. And we do have a bunch of video clips of your Mom that we can show him. And I forgot! ....." "What?" everyone asked. I grinned and said, "I completely forgot! You mother made some audio tapes of her singing lullabies and reading stories, so that when she was at work, we could play them for him! So she's still going to be part of helping take care of him, and he is going to know her voice very well!" Jacob grinned then too, but it was a wrinkled grin, because he was crying at the same time. I mussed his hair, and he said shakily, "I'm glad he'll have that!" "I'll make extra copies as soon as possible, so we don't lose them!" I said. "Thanks!" Jacob said. "Can you make me a copy too please?" "Of course!" I said, smiling. Suddenly we heard Jack harumph and flop down on the floor. "Jack?" I said, looking around, and under the table. "That came from the monitor," Andy said. "You'd better check upstairs!" Grandma said, sounding slightly alarmed. I got up and dashed upstairs. I found Jack laying on the floor, his head on his paws, looking up at the crib, as if he was standing guard. He relaxed a little when I entered the room. Grinning, I patted him and told him he was a good boy, and then peeked in at Austin, who was peacefully snoozing. "OK," I said. to Jack. "You come get me if Austin needs anything, OK?" Jack cocked his head a little as if to ask, "Say what?" I snorted and rubbed his head, and he laid back down then, resuming his guard position, as I returned to the kitchen. "He's standing guard!" I said, smiling, as I rejoined the others. "I don't think he understands about monitors." We resumed eating then, talking about our schedule for the next few days. About a half hour later, we heard Austin stirring, and cooing. Suddenly Jack started barking and raced down the stairs to the kitchen, barked at us and raced back up to our room and barked some more. Then he raced back down to us, barking at us some more, as we all started laughing. I l followed poor Jack back up to the bedroom then, where he stood barking at the crib, looking worried. He only stopped when I walked into the room and over to Austin's crib. Then he sat down panting a little. "Good boy Jack!" I said, smiling at him, and I reached down and patted him. He opened his mouth as he panted then, and looked like he was smiling. I turned my attention to Austin then, who was wide awake by then. Grinning, I picked him up and grabbed a handful of diapers, and a packet of baby wipes, and headed back downstairs, with Jack following. "Don't tell me he's wet again!" Jacob said. "Well, you pee often enough yourself!" I said, looking pointedly at him. "Good you brought some extras down," Grandma noted. "Yeah, this way we don't have to do the stairs as often," I said. I pulled a clean towel out of a drawer near the sink then, and laid it flat on the counter, laid Austin on it, and stared to open his onesie. "You're changing him on the counter?" Grandma asked. "Well, yeah," I said. "The counter's clean, big enough, and a good height for me. Besides, where did you expect me to change him?" "Um, I don't know I guess," Grandma said, chuckling. Quickly I changed Austin, and then I picked him up, and took him over and handed him to Andy. "Your turn to hold him a while!" Andy grinned, and actually didn't look nervous or awkward at all. "You seem quite used to holding a baby," I said. "Oh!" he said. "Well, maybe it has something to do with having to hold my bagpipes." "Well for Christ's sake, don't put him under your arm and squeeze and start blowing on his big toe!" I said. Grandma suddenly started laughing hysterically, and I thought she was going to fall off her chair, she was laughing so hard. Everyone started laughing then too. "Oh damn!" She gasped, when she finally go hold of herself. I think I need a diaper change myself now!''' Of course we all broke up roaring again. Grandma did excuse herself then, and went upstairs, and returned a while later wearing different pants, which of course started me laughing again. Poor Andy and Jacob were a little scared to laugh at her though. "Oh shut up!" Grandma barked at me, which of course caused me to laugh even harder. "STOP!" Grandma cried, as she'd started laughing again too. "I only have so many pairs of pants with me!" At that point I completely lost it again, and Andy and Jacob couldn't hold back any longer either. Even Grandma couldn't help laughing some more. At least this time she didn't wet herself though! Once we were in control of ourselves, we picked up from lunch, and went and sat in the living room. Andy and I shared the couch, and I took a turn holding Austin a while, as he napped again. Suddenly the door bell rang. "Again?" Jacob muttered, as he got up to answer it. It was the neighbors from a few doors down. Jacob let them in, and ushered them into the living room. "Oh!" the woman said, and tears welled in her eyes. "Is that the baby?" Carefully I got up and carried Austin over to meet them, as Jacob took a casserole dish from the man, and thanked him. He took it out to the kitchen then. They stayed only long enough to pay their respects, and admire Austin, then they left. When they were gone, from where I was standing, I suddenly saw through the door into the dining room, that the dining room table was laden with all kinds of things. "We've had a few deliveries, and visitors this morning," Grandma said. I walked into the dining room and was shocked. There were a couple of plants, two floral arrangements, a pastry tray, a box that looked like it contained a cake, a package of diapers, and a plain cardboard box that came by Post. "Wow!" I said. "That's not all," Jacob said. "The fridge downstairs is stuffed! I don't know where we're going to put anything else that comes!" "This all happened while we were picking up Austin?" I asked. "Some came earlier while you were sleeping in," Grandma said. "That Mr. Walsh is such a nice man. He brought spotted dick. Said it was Elizabeth's favorite!" Jacob suddenly welled up a little again, and said, "She did love it." "It was one of the things she craved while she was pregnant," I said. "Well, I expect Austin will like it then too!" Grandma said. "I know when my daughter was pregnant, she had different cravings with each pregnancy, and the babies always grew up to love whatever she craved while pregnant with them." "Guess I'll have to learn to make spotted dick then!" I said, chuckling. Everyone laughed then. "Well," I said. "I guess we don't have to worry about what to make for supper. We'll just start eating what everyone brought us!" * * * That night when we went to bed, instead of curling up in his bed in the opposite corner from where Austin's crib was, as he customarily did, Jack chose to curl up in front of Austin's crib, as if he was still standing guard. I was surprised when I woke up in the morning, and Austin was still sleeping. He'd slept through the night, without waking up. Of course, I'd fed him a bottle at midnight, before we turned in, and changed his diaper then too. His diaper was full, in the morning, but he seemed well rested. When I walked into the kitchen carrying him, and found Grandma sipping some coffee, and reading the paper, she asked if he'd woken me too many times, and she too was surprised when I said he hadn't woken once. "I'd have heard him, and if I didn't, Jack would've and would've made sure we were all up to help!" I said, chuckling. "Let's hope it's always that way!" Grandma said. "Amen to that!" I said. I made a bottle for Austin then, and Grandma poured me a mug of coffee as she freshened her own, then we sat and chatted, while I fed Austin. A while later, at breakfast, since the wake was that night already, I explained to everyone what the funeral arrangements were. Understandably, Jacob was weepy, and didn't say much. "What are you going to do with Austin during the funeral?" Grandma asked. "He'll be there with us tomorrow for the funeral," I said. "I asked the Minister to keep it brief. But, I was hoping that during the visiting hours tonight, that you would stay here and babysit. I don't want to drag him to the funeral parlor and have him be there for hours. We'll be going to the funeral home before anyone else arrives in the morning, and you can say good-bye privately to Elizabeth then." "Certainly!" She said. "And after the funeral, we're inviting everyone here to the house for a bite to eat. The Bell & Crown is catering it. While everyone is here, I want to keep Austin upstairs. I was thinking we could take shifts - each of us spending a while with him. I don't want to leave him alone - we'd never hear the monitor. And I think it would be good if Jack stayed upstairs with him and whoever's in our room too. He seems to like guarding Austin anyway!" Everyone thought that was a good plan. "OK, so I have to go run a couple errands," I said. "Can you watch Austin while I'm gone?" They all seemed surprised, but nobody asked where I was going, and all agreed to watch the baby. I ran upstairs then, and went into Elizabeth's room for the first time since she'd died. As the scent of her favorite perfume hit me, I felt my eyes well up. I stepped over to her closet, opened the door, and looked along the rack of clothes, until I saw the beautiful gown she'd worn to the Phillips's party. I pulled that out, and laid it on the bed, then I looked for and quickly found the shoes she'd worn with it. Next I looked for the necklace and earrings she'd worn with it and found them as well. Lastly, I grabbed her makeup case. Then, I carefully packed it all in a travel bag. Just before I turned to leave, still smelling her perfume, I quickly grabbed the bottle off her dresser, and then left her room, closing the door behind me, and headed back downstairs. "Why were you in Mum's room, and what's that for?" Jacob asked, recognizing his mother's travel bag and the bottle of her perfume. "I have to drop some things at the funeral home for your mother," I said. "Oh!" he said, and he sniffled and started blinking. "I'll be back in a while," I said. And I quickly grabbed my keys and left. * * * I drove to the funeral home, and dropped off Elizabeth's clothes, jewelry, and perfume, and we went over the final arrangements. I left then, and drove to a men's clothing store. I knew Andy and I had suits suitable for a funeral, and I thought that the suit Jacob had worn to my father's funeral should still fit him, but I had nothing for Austin to wear. I asked if they had suits for infants, and the man asked how old the baby was, and how big. "Three days old, and he weighs .62 stones," I said. The man looked at me and saw my eyes were watery. "I'm so sorry," He said. "it's such a shame when such a tiny baby dies." "He's fine, it's his mother who died, during his birth," I said. "I need something for him to wear to the funeral." "Oh! I'm so very sorry about your wife!" he said, looking stricken. "No. It's not my wife. It's my step-mother. The baby is my half-brother," I said. "Oh my! I'm so sorry!" he said. "Thank you," I said. "So, do you sell tiny black suits?" "Actually we do, and I have one in stock that should work for you," he said. He took me to the boy's section of the store, and showed me the smallest little black suit I'd ever seen. The pants were stretch pants. With that he suggested a plain pull over white shirt, with a black tie permanently sewn in, and a pair of super soft, soleless, little black leatherette shoes, to go with it. It was perfect for what we needed. The price was outrageous, but I paid it, and took my purchases, and left. I drove to the Barley Mow then. I stepped over to the bar, ordered a beer and a double Scotch neat, then went and sat down at a small unoccupied table in the back corner. I pulled a pen and a few sheets of folded paper out of my pocket then, and thought a few minutes, then proceeded to write Elizabeth's eulogy. It took a while, but after three different drafts, and another beer, I was sure I'd done the best I could. I folded up the final version and put it in my pocket, along with my pen, downed the rest of my beer, then got up and left, tossing my first attempts at the eulogy in a waste basket in the vestibule of the pub. I headed home then. * * * That evening was the wake. It was a long, drawn out event. The undertaker had done a wonderful job with Elizabeth's makeup, and hair, and she once again, really looked beautiful, if you can say that about a dead person. She looked just as though she was sleeping. Jacob, Andy, and I spent the entire evening standing next to Elizabeth's coffin, greeting the throng of people who all filed by. It was exhausting for me, so I can imagine how Jacob must've felt. I had expected him to stand closest to Elizabeth, but when I guided him into position, and stepped in next to him, he quickly turned and stepped around me and pushed himself between me and Andy. When I looked down curiously at him, he looked up at me with tear-filled eyes and a pleading look on his face. I just smiled sadly at him and squeezed his shoulder. ... And so began what can only be termed an "ordeal" for the three of us! I was surprised by the number of people who came, who I actually knew. Of course Evan and our friends from high school came, The Fletchers came, Mr. Walsh and several other neighbors came. At one point I saw George and Sophie walk in the door at the back of the room. They looked dismayed by the huge line. I was surprised they came, considering the pub was open. I wondered who was running the place. When I caught their eyes, I motioned for them to come right up to us, cutting in front of everyone. A few people looked curiously at them, as they walked by them, but then they saw me motioning them forward. "Thank yer John!" George gasped, and he blushed. "We hoped to just dash in and out quickly. Sorry about that, but we need to get back to the pub." "Who's running the place while you're here?" I asked. "I left Arthur in charge!" George said. "WHAT?" Evan cried, softly, his eye bulging. "Oh relax lad!" Sophie said. "He's doin' just fine. He's actually been helpin' us out a lot lately. By the way, he sends along his condolences." Evan and I exchanged doubtful looks, but by then George was talking quietly with Jacob, expressing his deep sympathy, and a moment later, he was looking apologetically at me, as he was holding Jacob, who was crying. I smiled slightly and nodded. Sophie, who'd knelt by Elizabeth and said a quick prayer, go up and stepped over and took Jacob from George, and hugged him and kissed him, and told him how sorry she was, and let him cry a bit more, as George stepped back and gazed for a moment at Elizabeth, then bowed his head, and after a few seconds, looked up crossed himself and nodded at Elizabeth, then stepped back over to Sophie's side, saying they'd best get going. There were several groups of nurses, doctors, and other hospital staffers who came through the line together. I knew a few of them. Jacob knew several. But there were many we didn't know as well. I was surprised when Ahmed came through the line, along with a few other orderlies. After they'd paid their respects and the other orderlies moved off to chat with some nurses they knew, I held Ahmed back, and introduced him to Jacob and Andy. I'd already told Andy about him, so he looked Ahmed over carefully and smiled warmly at him. Ahmed looked slightly self-conscious, so I cleared my throat loudly, looking directly at Andy, who quickly snapped out of it, and politely told Ahmed he was happy to meet him. Ahmed smiled shyly, and nodded. I again mentioned to him that he should stop by the Bell & Crown some Friday evening, and he said he would. Then he said he had to go, as his friends were waiting for him. /Andy leaned around Jacob and murmured, "You were right, he seems quite nice!" "I know, but he's very discreet, if you know what I mean, and I think he was afraid his friends might've seen you checking him out," I said, softly. "Yes, I realized when you growled," he said. "Sorry about that." By then someone else had stepped up to us, so we returned our attention to the people who were coming by. And so the evening went. The only saving grace for us, was that Evan stayed with us for the entire evening, even though we all told him he could go home. He insisted though, and it actually gave us a bit of a respite when he occasionally stepped over to visit with us. At one point about three quarters of the way through, I nodded at him, and motioned to Jacob, who was really looking pale and exhausted. Quickly Evan came and got him and took him out of the room for a while. When they came back about 20 minutes later, Jacob looked a little better. "I got him a coke and candy bar," Evan whispered. "Thanks man!" I said, smiling. Niles and a couple of our other friends stayed quite a while as well, which was nice for Evan, as we were busy pretty much then entire evening. Finally, nearly two hours after the wake was supposed to have ended, the final visitors filed past. When they were gone, I looked at the undertaker and said "I hope the doors are locked." He flashed a half smile and said, "Yes, those were the last people. Please, take as long as you'd like yet though. I'll be in my office." He left us then and we all went and collapsed on a couch in the front row of seats. "I'm knackered," Jacob said. "Me too," Andy said. "I think we all are," I agreed. "Evan, man, you should take off. It's getting late." "I think you're right," he said. He stood up then, and stepped up to the coffin and gazed down at Elizabeth for a minute, then I heard him say softly "Good-bye dear lady!" When he turned around, a tear broke from his eye, and trickled down his cheek. Sniffling, he quickly rubbed his face, and pulled himself together. "I guess I will take my leave now, unless you need me for anything else?" he said. "We're good, and Ev - thanks man for being here for us! I mean it! You made this a lot easier on us all!" I said. Evan smiled sadly, and said, "No need for thanks. I wanted to be here to help if I could. After all you've all done for me, it's the least I can do." I got up and hugged him tightly, and whispered, "I love you man!" "I love you too John!" He said, and we both squeezed each other, then released each other. Andy and Jacob both hugged Evan as well, and Evan gave Jacob a tender kiss on the forehead, and told him to call him anytime he needed to! Jacob actually smiled slightly and said "Thanks Evan!" Once Evan was gone, we all stepped over to Elizabeth's coffin and spent a couple minutes looking down at her. Andy was the first to step away. Before he did, he reached over and stroked Elizabeth's hair lightly and said, "Good-bye Elizabeth. I'll always remember all you did for me, and I'll always love you!" Then sniffling, he moved quickly away, and went and sat on a settee in the back of the room. "You want a minute alone with her?" I asked Jacob. "No!" he said, in an almost terse tone. I looked down curiously at him, and he could tell I was studying him. "I-I can't explain it," he said. "I do not want to be alone with her! Not with her, or anyone else who's dead, for that matter. And I know she's Mum, but still... And at the same time, I don't ever want to leave, because I'll never see her again!" And suddenly he was crying again, and in a whiny voice he said, "I'm sorry Mum, it's not you. I love you so much! I can't say good-bye though!" Suddenly, he turned into me and wrapped his arms around me and began sobbing bitterly. "What am I supposed to do now?" he whined. I hugged Jacob tightly, kissed him on top of his head and said, "It's OK. Your mother would totally understand. Don't worry about it. And I believe we'll see her again in the morning before the funeral, so this isn't it just yet." "Can we go home then please?" he asked. "Yeah, it's more than time for us to go home," I said. Sniffling, Jacob turned and looked at his mother and said, "I so wish you were coming with us Mum! I love you so much!" As we turned to leave, I saw that Andy who had been watching, was crying again too. "C'mon," I said. as we neared him, and he got up and joined us. When we reached the lobby, I poked my head in the office and told the undertaker we were leaving. He reminded us that a limo would be at the house to pick us up at 8:30, the next morning, so we'd get here in time to have a few minutes to say our final good-byes, privately, before people began arriving for the funeral. I assured him we'd be ready. We went out to the car then, and I drove us all home. "Wow!" Grandma said, when we finally walked in the door. "I was beginning to worry." "It was a long one," I said. Jacob headed straight for the bar then, as we all watched him curiously. He pulled a glass off the shelf, then poured himself a rather liberal amount of Brandy. Grandma looked astonished, then looked questioningly at me. "I'm exhausted," he said. "I'm going to bed. Someone wake me up in time to shower and dress in the morning please. G'night." As he stepped past me, I reached out and firmly gripped the glass of Brandy he was carrying. As he was about to protest, I looked at him and raised an eye-brow. Then I looked at the glass, took a good swallow out of it. Looked at it again, and handed it back to him. "Next time ask first, and no more than this much!" I said, looking pointedly at him. "OK, thanks John," he said. I leaned over and kissed him, and said good-night, then swatted him on the ass, as he smiled slightly and headed for the stairs. "Hmmm..." Grandma said. "Well, I guess you handled that pretty well, given the special circumstances." "He gets to have a little, now and then, but not too much, and not too often," I said. "But after tonight, he needs something to help him relax a little." "We all do," Andy said, and he walked over to the bar, and pulled down a couple glasses, looked at Grandma and asked, "Will you join us?" "Is it that nice smooth German brandy?" she asked. "Yes Maam!" Andy said, smiling. "Well, then, sure, I'll have a nip - but only one finger's worth please!" she said, smiling. As Andy poured our brandy, I asked how Austin was. "He's fine," Grandma said. "When he woke from his after supper nap, we made some cookies, then I gave him a bath, fed him, and put him down again. . He was up a little while ago for a diaper change, and a snack, and now he's down again." She handed me the monitor, which she'd had clipped to her belt. "You had him helping in the kitchen already?" I asked, grinning, as I held the monitor to my ear. Suddenly I realized he was snorting and making weird noises, and I looked alarmed. "What the Hell?" I gasped, and turned to dash upstairs. Laughing, Grandma grabbed my arm and said, "Relax! It's the dog! I swear he thinks he has to stand guard over Austin every minute when he's up there alone!" "OH!" I gasped, then I chuckled, when I realized that what I'd heard did indeed sound just like Jack. Andy handed me a glass filled with a good amount of Brandy, and I took a big swallow of it. "And as for his helping in the kitchen, Austin did very well. He napped in his rocker-seat, while i made the cookies, and we had a fine time together!" she said. We all laughed then. 'Well, fellas," Grandma said, "I'm going up to bed. I'll be up at 5:00, to shower, and put together a quick breakfast, so you three can have time to shower, and have something to eat." "OK, thanks, and g'night." I said. "We're coming up too." I waited for Grandma to get to the stairs, then turned off the living room lights, and we followed her upstairs. While she went into the bathroom, Andy and I went to our room, and I told Jack to come with me. Seeing as Andy was in the room, Jack deigned to leave Austin's side, and followed me quickly downstairs, and dashed out the door to do his business. By the time we returned upstairs, Grandma was in bed. Andy used the bathroom quickly, and when he was done, so did I. We both went to bed then, while Jack resumed sentry duty in front of Austin's crib. Austin, slept on peacefully, and Andy and I, having finished our brandy, fell fast asleep a couple minutes later ourselves. * * * At a little after 3:00, Jack woke me to tell me Austin was awake. He then supervised as I changed Austin's diaper, and heated up a small bottle of formula in a small microwave oven I'd bought and put on our dresser, along with a dorm-sized cube fridge that was full of pre-filled bottles of formula, and a few beers, so I didn't have to go down to the kitchen at night when Austin woke. Quickly I fed Austin, and then I rocked him, and softly sang Tina Turner's "River Deep Mountain High" to him, and he was asleep again. I tucked him back in his crib, patted Jack, who finally allowed himself to relax again, and sprawled in front of the crib again, and went back to bed. Everyone slept through, til our alarms went off then. "I'm going to shower," I muttered, groggily. "You're on Austin-duty, if he wakes up." "Bollocks!" I heard Andy mutter, but surprisingly, he got right up and stepped over to Austin's crib to check on him. As I was closing the bathroom door behind me I heard Andy say in a bright voice, "Oh! You are awake already! How nice and quiet you're being. That's a good boy! Now, I suppose you'd like a fresh nappy then?" I thought about going back to see if he needed any help, but decided to let Andy try it on his own. Quickly I took a dump, shaved, brushed my teeth, showered, and dried my hair, then returned to our room, to find Andy holding Austin, feeding him a bottle, humming Scotland the Brave to him. "This kid's gonna be well rounded as far as music appreciation goes!" I chuckled. "Thanks for taking care of him." "John!" Andy said. "I certainly hope you're not going to thank me each time I change his nappy, or feed him. It's going to get quite tiring if you do!" I chuckled, and said I wouldn't thank him anymore. "Well thank you for that!" Andy said, and we both laughed. "Mornin'!" Jacob muttered, as he passed our door, and went into the bathroom. "Bollocks!" Andy said, "I suppose there will be no hot water for me by the time he's done!" I chuckled, as I started putting on my suit. We were both surprised, when after only a few minutes, Jacob vacated the bathroom, and went back to the den to get dressed. "Hmmm!" Andy said. "Maybe there will be some luke warm water for me yet after all!" With that, he got up and put Austin back in his crib, and dashed to the bathroom. By the time Andy was finished, I was dressed, and had dressed Austin already too. "What an adorable little suit!" Andy gushed, when he saw Austin. "mmm," I said, "We're going downstairs, I said, and I grabbed the diaper bag with one hand, and Austin's rocking-seat carrier with him in it, with the other, and i went down to the kitchen. Grandma and Jacob were all dressed, and ready to go, and Grandma was making toasted English muffins for a quick breakfast for us. I sat Austin on the table in front of Jacob and told him to watch him, then poured myself a cup of coffee. Andy joined us a few minutes later, as well, and I was surprised he was wearing his full dress kilt outfit, and had his pipes with him. As we all looked at him a little surprised, he said "If you'd rather I not play at the cemetery, I don't have to." "NO!" Jacob cried, and he jumped up and stepped over and hugged Andy and said, "Mum would love it!" Andy smiled sadly and kissed Jacob on the forehead. Then he set his pipes down on the counter, and he and Jacob sat down and while we finished our muffins, he too downed a quick cup of tea, and a muffin. I let Jack out then for a quick pee, and changed Austin one last time, and by then the limo was there to take us to the funeral. * * * When we arrived at the funeral home, we had a half hour alone with Elizabeth, whose coffin was still open. Grandma got to say her good-bye then, and then Jacob, Andy, Austin and I said a final good-bye. Jacob surprised me by carefully taking Austin out of his carrier, and holding him so he could look at Elizabeth. "Austin, this is our Mum," he said softly. "She loved you so much! I'll make sure you know all about her when you're older." Then he looked at Elizabeth, and said, "Mum, you don't have to worry about Austin, because we're going to take good care of him for you!" How Jacob managed to make it through that without shedding a tear, I'll never understand. Grandma was sobbing, Andy's face was soaked with tears, and I was weeping bitterly. A moment later though, Jacob turned to me and handed Austin over to me, then finally, he broke down and wept too. "Good-bye Mum! I love you so much!" he whined, and he began crying. Quickly he turned and went and sat down. Andy and I pulled ourselves together and each said a last good-bye, then went and sat with Jacob, and Grandma, who'd sat down next to him. Finally, just before people started arriving, they closed the coffin. I think that was probably the most difficult time through the entire funeral process for us - watching as they removed her jewelry and handed it to me, cranked the little crank and lowered her head down, then finally lowered the casket lid. As it closed, poor Jacob was beside himself sobbing hysterically, and we all had tears streaming down our cheeks as well. We were all a little surprised when a couple minutes later, as we were just pulling ourselves together, Evan, Niles, and the other guys all strode in together, and walked over to us. Evan stepped over to Jacob and squatted in front of him, and said quietly, "We were wondering if you'd allow us to be pall bearers for your Mum?" Poor Jacob who'd just gotten himself under control, began crying again. He nodded, then threw his arms around Evan, who hugged him firmly, and kissed him on top of the head, like I do. Other people started to arrive then, so Evan and Jacob parted, and Evan nodded to me, indicating he needed to talk. I got up, and he stood back up and we stepped aside, and he said quietly that as soon as we arrived at the cemetery, and they'd carried the casket to the grave, he was going to leave and drive to our house, to let George and Arthur in. They were delivering the food, and setting up the buffet for our post funeral luncheon. "You'd better take these then," I said, taking my keys out of my pocket and handing them too him. "This is the back door," I said, showing him the back door key. "Please let Jack out to whizz too." Evan nodded, and pocketed my keys then. I stepped over to the funeral director and nodded in the direction of our friends and told him that they would be the pall bearers. And I told him that Andy would be playing his pipes at the cemetery as well. "Very good," he said. "That will be very nice." A lot more people began filing in then, and settling in seats behind us. Shortly after that the funeral director stepped up to the podium, and welcomed everyone, gave a few announcements about the order of events, and offered a prayer. Then he asked our family to step forward. I spoke on our behalf and thanked everyone for coming, and for all they'd done to comfort us and help us out. Finally, I invited everyone back to the house for lunch after the burial. Everyone came up and passed by Elizabeth and said a few words to us, and then went to their cars. When everyone was gone, the pall bearers were asked to hang back, and we went out to the limo. The pall bearers escorted Elizabeth's coffin, which was on a wheeled carrier, out to the hearse then. The large bouquet we'd bought for the top of the coffin was fastened to the top of ti, and the coffin was slid into the hearse then. A few minutes later, the procession to the church began. * * * When we arrived at the church, we got out of the limo and stood by near the hearse, as the guys lined up and Elizabeth's coffin was pulled from the hearse, on its special wheeled cart that was completely folded up under it. The guys carried the coffin up the stairs, with us following behind, and at the top of the steps, the casket cart opened, with the stand with wheels on the bottom of it, dropping to the ground, and locking into place. The guys wheeled Elizabeth into the church then, and pulled off to the side, as we followed them inside, and headed up the main aisle to the front pew. The organ was playing softly, as we progressed up the main aisle. The other mourners followed us in, and filled in the pews behind us. There were already a few additional people sitting in pews, who'd not come to the funeral home first. Once everyone was seated, the organ loudly began playing, and the choir joined in, then the minister walked up the aisle to the altar, with Elizabeth's coffin being guided up the aisle by our friends, right behind him. Jacob and Grandma began weeping, and Austin fussed a little in his rocker seat that was between me and Andy. As I put an arm around Jacob, who was to my left and on the aisle. Andy calmed Austin, who, completely unaware his mother was lying in the coffin mere feet away, dozed back off. Once the hymn ended, the minister welcomed us all, asked us to bow our heads, and said a prayer. He then launched into some narrative about how Elizabeth was not completely gone, and how she'd live on through her children, and she was with God, and her husband, and although she would miss us, she was happy where she was, and knew someday she'd meet all of us again in the great hereafter. There was another hymn, then the Minister called me up to the pulpit to give the eulogy. Jacob, Andy, and Grandma were surprised. I hadn't mentioned it to them. Nervously, I got up, stepped past Jacob into the main aisle, and strode up onto the altar to the pulpit. I took out the eulogy I'd written, and out of the corner of my eye, saw Andy looking wonderingly at me - probably mystified as to when I had time to write something, that he had missed seeing me do. I unfolded the pages, cleared my throat, and started. "A little over a year ago, my mother passed away, and against my will, I moved here to live with my father, and his new wife Elizabeth. When I arrived here, I was still mourning the loss of my mother, and I was angry that my father had forced me to move half way around the world, away from my friends, my band, and the life I knew. I'll readily admit, that I was a complete jerk when I first got here. And I became even angrier, when my stepmother, Elizabeth, who I'd never met before, and who I knew was upset because not only did I bring my guitar and drums with me, but I also brought along my dog - my very big dog, who she was totally unprepared for, never waivered, and did everything in her power to make me feel welcome in her home and in her family. I'll never forget how she completely left her comfort zone on the day I arrived, and cooked a special "welcome" dinner for me." I paused and looked up and saw a few people had surprised looks on their faces at the mention of Elizabeth cooking. I couldn't help smirking slightly. "Yes, that's right - Elizabeth cooked an entire dinner - in my honor! ... No offense meant Elizabeth - but as you yourself admitted - it was one of the worst meals any of us had ever had! As most of you who knew her, know, the only thing Elizabeth knew how to cook was tea! She did know the best biscuits to purchase to go with her tea though!" There were a few chuckles in the congregation. "You wouldn't believe how relieved she was when my father mentioned I was a good cook, and I offered to help out with the cooking! " More chuckles. "So, although I was too upset to admit it to anyone, I did realize that Elizabeth was trying her utmost to make me feel welcome, and to console me for the loss of my mother, and for having to move to England. I wasn't ready to get over blaming her though for my having to move away from home. In my mind, it was her fault that my father wasn't willing to leave England and move home to take care of me... even though I didn't feel I needed to be taken care of anymore, and ignoring the fact that my father was in the US Army and was stationed here, and couldn't just pick up and move home anyway! Well... eventually, not too long after I got here, my attitude dissipated. Much of the reason for that was my quickly developing relationship with my new little step-brother, Jacob, and having met my beloved Andy, who I was also developing a relationship with. However, a great portion of my adjustment was because of Elizabeth. We often had private conversations, in particular mornings, when Dad was working, and Jacob was asleep yet, and I'd make a pot of coffee, and she'd make tea, and I'd bake something to have with it. During those conversations, she let me talk my feelings out, and patiently listened, offering a bit of advice now and then, when it seemed i might be willing to hear it. Once or twice if I was out of line with what I said, she let me know, by firmly explaining things to me. Most of the time though, she just offered me a shoulder to cry on, so to speak, and I did begin to listen to the comments she was making, and realized that she wasn't the enemy - and in fact really was on my side. It was during those conversations, that I grew to love Elizabeth as my second mother! And I truly believe she loved me as a second son." "Over this last year, Elizabeth had to put up with a lot because of me. She endured my practicing my guitar, drums, and piano (although I really believe she liked when I played the piano). She learned to have a dog in the house. She put up with all the drama I added to her and her family's life, with all the things that went on in my life. And she never gave up on me. Then, after my father died, when I could've, and probably more properly should have moved back to the States, she took on being my legal guardian, until I became an adult. Suddenly Elizabeth had no husband, and an extra son, who was always up to something.. On top of it, of course, she was pregnant with Jacob's and my new little half-brother. Through it all Elizabeth carried on, like the good Brit she was. She worked hard as a full time nurse, then came home and had to deal with two teenage boys, all while taking care of herself, and the baby she was carrying. Through it all I saw what kind of truly remarkable woman Elizabeth was! No woman has ever more fierceley protected, defended, nurtured, and loved her children - whether they were her own son, her step-son, his partner, her unborn baby, or even a boy she'd never met, who her sons dragged home with them, much like some children bring home a lost puppy. I've learned too that she cared for her patients the same way, and of course, you all as her friends realize she felt the same way about you as well. Elizabeth mothered, nurtured, and loved everyone she met! She was a truly awesome human being, and while I'm incredibly sad, and even angry, that she was taken from us all too soon, my heart is full, because I know how lucky I was to have had her in my life at all... in particular during such a hard time in my life. Elizabeth, I'll miss you terribly for the rest of my life, but I'll love you forever! Thank you so much for all you've done for me! I do so hope there is a Heaven and that we get to meet again when it's my time to join you, Dad, my mother, and everyone else up there. Until then, I'll take good care of Jacob and Austin for you!" I folded up the eulogy and put it in my pocket, then said that I was going to sing one of Elizabeth's and my Dad's favorite songs, "A Time for Us". I stepped over to the piano then, and played and sang,,, when I was finished, several people were crying. Quietly I got up and walked off the altar, pausing for a moment to lay a hand on Elizabeth's coffin, saying a silent good-bye, then returned to my seat between Jacob, who was sobbing, and Austin, while the majority of the congregation wiped their eyes, blew their noses, and tried to pull themselves together. The minister spoke then, and gave a sermon more or less about dying and the after life, then we all said some more prayers, and finally it was time to leave the church and head to the cemetery. The minister led the way out of the church, followed by the guys guiding Elizabeth's coffin, with us behind them, and the rest of the congregation following behind us. As we walked out, the organ played "Ode to Joy" solo. * * * When we arrived at the cemetery, Andy grabbed his pipes and hopped quickly out of the limo and went up the hill and stood off to the side from my father's grave, next to which was a hole in the ground, covered with the apparatus that lowers coffins. The other mourners assembled by the grave, then as the guys carried Elizabeth's coffin to the family plot, Andy played "Going Home" on his pipes. The guys gently laid Elizabeth's coffin on the apparatus over the grave, and we sat down in chairs in the front row, which had been reserved for us. Evan nodded slightly at me and headed down the hill to his car, to go to our house. The funeral director removed our bouquet from on top of the coffin, and set it aside. The minister said a prayer, then committed Elizabeth's soul to heaven. He sprinkled her coffin with holy water, then nodded at Andy, who began playing "Amazing Grace" as the funeral director slowly lowered Elizabeth into her grave. Jacob broke down and turned into me sobbing, unable to watch. Once Elizabeth was in her grave, the funeral director nodded at Andy, who ended the song at the end of the verse he was playing. The minister then picked up a clump of dirt and went through his "Ashes to ashes" commitment prayer, and sprinkled the dirt over Elizabeth's coffin. He finally said one last prayer, then said the ceremony was over, and thanked us all for coming. As people began to get up from their chairs, Andy played a very slow and rather sad song. Most people waited to hear then end. Then those who were not coming to the house, which were only a few, came to say good-bye, while the others headed to their cars. Andy rejoined us then, and tugged on my sleeve, pulling me aside. He nodded down the hill. I followed his gaze, and saw that a black limo, that wasn't part of our group was parked in front of the hearse, and a man in a suit was standing next to the rear passenger door, looking up at us. He appeared to be wiping his eyes. It was Lord Justin Pemberly! "What's he doing here?" Andy asked. I was surprised too, but then suddenly, it hit me. "Oh! My! God!!!!" I said, emphasizing each word separately, in disbelief. Just then Lord Pemberly noticed we'd seen him. He suddenly looked a little frightened, and quickly got into his limo and it drove swiftly away. Andy looked at me, and asked, "John! What's going on???" I hesitated a moment, but then said, "I'm not sure." "You know something though!" Andy pressed. I looked at him, and he gave me a more serious questioning look. "I really can't say," I said, finally. "Can't or Won't?" he asked. "Both?" I said, looking awkwardly at him. He looked more than puzzled. "Listen, this isn't the time or place for this," I said. "And, PLEASE do NOT mention this to anyone!" Andy blew the air out of his lungs and looked exasperated, but finally said, "Fine!" He turned then and stepped back over to Grandma, Jacob, and Austin, where Grandma was in the process of plucking a few flowers from the various flower arrangements. I stepped over and plucked three carnations myself then, and stuck them in mine, Andy's and Jacob's lapel button holes. We left then, and the limo drove us home, where Evan was already hosting some of our guests. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The next chapter in this series will be published as soon as possible... P.S. 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