Date: Wed, 18 Jul 2007 23:08:32 -0700 (PDT) From: Brian Connors Subject: Six Irish Brothers - Chapter 7: The Long Road Six Irish Brothers - Chapter 7: The Long Road Story Codes: B/b, inc Disclaimer and Acknowledgments: The story you are about to read is true. These events happened and though some details have been skewed slightly to obscure the identities of the real persons involved, the events, relationships and substance of the tale have not been altered. Much of the material in this story is pornographic in nature, dealing with incest, teenage and preteen sex, gay themes, and so forth. If you are under 18, or it is illegal in your area to read this material, then stop now, and go Google something wholesome. Another word of warning - this chapter deals with the aftermath of abuse that happened in the past. If you think you would find that too disturbing, then please, read no further, and wait for the next chapter. ----- Chapter 7: The Long Road November - December 1995 Ben's acclimation to his new life with us was not an easy or a quick one. He started having nightmares on his third night home with us. He would thrash around on his bed and wake up in a cold sweat. When Sean and I asked him about it, he would retreat into his shell and say, "It's nothin'." No matter what, we couldn't get him to open up. So instead we sat up with him until he fell asleep again. Every night, for a solid week. Finally, on Thanksgiving night, it happened again, and we knew he couldn't go on like that. Sean and I kept him talking into the wee hours, about nothing in particular, just talking, listening, trying to calm him. At one point, Ben got very quiet, remembering...something. He shivered. Like usual, I instinctively reached out to hug him, put my hand on his arm, something, and like always, he flinched. Before, I would have pulled away, given him space, but not this time. I kept going, and even though he turned away from me, I managed to put my arm around him. And then the tears came. They just flooded out of him as he sobbed it all away. I held him tight as he cried on my shoulder, my own tears falling down my cheeks. And then Sean was there, next to us, holding on, rocking Ben back and forth, and whispering calming words. I'll never know where he picked up those kind of parental instincts, but damn if they didn't work. Ben's sobs eventually eased to little sniffles. His shirt was soaked through with sweat and tears, and despite his protests, Sean managed to get him out of it, while I found another for him to sleep in. The phrase "deer in headlights" is highly overused, but that was *exactly* Ben's expression when his shirt came off. He was terrified, and started tearing up again. At first I couldn't understand it. And then I heard Sean whisper, "Oh, sweet Jesus." And then I saw. There were scars on Ben's arms, old bruises other marks. His back, too, was much the same. Scars and old wounds. His body wasn't covered in them like some horror movie, but they were definitely there. Sean and I just looked at each other, just starting to grasp the enormity of what had been done to our brother. I sat down next to Ben and helped him on with his shirt. Through it all, he didn't say a word, just blinked away tears, and shivered. Then Sean looked Ben in the eye and said, "It's okay, Ben. It's *not* your fault. You're here with us, and you're safe. You hear me? You're safe." Ben just nodded, still sniffling, and then he just melted into Sean's embrace. Clinging to him like a life-preserver. I held myself back, but Sean motioned for me to come closer, and I joined them in a group hug. When we broke apart, Sean directed us toward his bed, the largest of the three. I felt Ben stiffen again, and he looked at me, looked at Sean, but then he let out a long breath, and climbed in next to Sean. I laid beside him. It was a little cramped, but there was enough room for us to not be uncomfortable. But Sean and I knew something was wrong, like Ben was steeling himself for something. "It'll be okay," I said. "Just sleep, Benji." And his eyes got wide, and he looked at me. "You...you mean..." His voice trailed off at my puzzled look. And then he turned to Sean. "I... what do you want me...to do...?" "Do what?" I asked...and then it hit me. And I saw the realization dawn on Sean's face too, and he blanched. I could see the regret, and the rage, welling up. But he held it in, and turned to Ben. "I...it's not like that," he said. "I'm so...so sorry, Ben. I just...we just want you to feel safe." I didn't even realize I'd been holding my breath until I felt the tension ease out of Ben. "Oh... I thought... when they... s'what I had to do...so they'd..." "Bastards," Sean muttered. "For protection?" Ben nodded. "Yeah." And Sean got really quiet, staring up at the ceiling for a long moment. I knew he was looking inside, trying to come up with an answer, to find a way to fix things, to make everything all right for Ben. But Ben didn't take his silence that way. "Don't hate me...please don't hate me..." he pleaded, almost sobbing again. "Benji," Sean said as he turned to face him again, "listen to me. You're our brother and we love you. We *love* you. Whatever happened, it's not your fault. I love you." Ben was still crying, and I just rocked him back and forth, saying, "It's alright, it's alright, I love you," until he calmed down again. Sean got up to get him some water. By the time Ben finished it, he wasn't shaking anymore. "You don't have to sleep with us," Sean said, "if you'd rather be in your own bed. I just thought that it'd make you feel better." If only it would be that simple, I thought. Even then, at twelve years old, I knew that it would take years...maybe a lifetime...for Ben to get over whatever they'd done to him, if it was possible at all. But Sean was right in that all we could do for him then was to try and make him feel safe. "I don't... I don't want to be alone," was all Ben said. As he got back in bed, Sean's smile was one of the warmest I'd ever seen. "You're not alone, little brother. Never again." The three of us talked for a while longer, pulled the covers up and slowly drifted off to sleep as our emotions settled again. Sean and I both gave Ben as much room in the middle as possible, but somewhere along the line, Ben turned on his side, and with his back spooned against Sean. I snuggled in closer, and Ben put his head on my shoulder. We lay like that until morning, huddled together, Sean's arm draped across us both. We repeated the process for the next few nights, until Ben felt like he wanted to sleep in his own bed again. But at some point that night he woke up and climbed into Sean's bed. The next night, it was mine. Neither of us minded, of course. We would do whatever it took for Ben to be all right. And so it went, for two weeks or more. It wasn't until a few days before Christmas that he managed to sleep through the night in his own bed. Of course, Sean talked with Greg at length about what Ben was going through, about what Ben *had* gone through before he came home to us. Greg said that eventually, he thought Ben should see a counselor, but after he settled in. For the meantime, he thought we were handling the situation well. Greg also bent over backwards to make sure that Ben knew he'd always have time for him. And it helped, it really did. All our lives were adjusting, and I saw Ben slowly open up, and let his guard down more and more. And, during all this time, how were Sean and I handling our sexual escapades, you ask? Well... the frequency was reduced somewhat, but we usually managed to get some time alone every few days, enough for a quick blowjob or wanking session. The rest of the time, I was flying solo, having discovered the joys of jerking off in the shower. After draining the hot water once too often, I got to be quite proficient at getting off in a hurry. And Sean? He had his fair share of bathroom time, too, but he'd also begun dating Sarah DelVecchio, our neighbour. She was a lovely blonde, a year younger than Sean, but a tomboy through and through. Not "butch" at all, just very athletic and more than capable of being "just one of the guys." They weren't "going all the way," but with the few details Sean did give me, I knew they were at least making out and getting each other off. Sean also let me know that he and his best friend TJ, Sarah's brother, had jacked off to some porn together. There was a wistful look in his eye when he talked about it that told me he wanted to do more than that, but he wasn't sure TJ would be into it. I couldn't blame him - even back then, I thought TJ was hot. In any event, by the time Christmas rolled around, we were all getting used to the new status quo. Greg's parents came down from Chicago, and lavished us with gifts, especially Benji. Up 'til then, he had no clue what grandparents were supposed to be like, but Alice and Ted took him completely by surprise. More than the gifts, just the absolute kindness and love they exuded - almost like "Ma and Pa Kent," in a way (if "Ma" was a pediatrics nurse and "Pa" was a lawyer) - literally warmed your heart. I'll never understand how Ted managed to keep a successful law practice and still be such a kindhearted soul, but I definitely know Greg got his big heart from both of them. The day after Christmas, Boxing Day (though I still think of it as St. Stephen's Day), has always been my favourite holiday, even more than Christmas itself. You were still off school, with all your presents, but the stress of Christmas was gone, all the things that had to be done were done, and you could just enjoy the lazy day. Alice and Ted took the little ones to the movies, and Greg had to go into the office for a while. That left Sean, Ben and me at home. Now, I was used to going off by myself on St. Stephen's Day, out to the tree fort, or off to read a new book I'd been given, just to be alone for a while. Sean would usually do the same thing. Living with four, now five brothers, a little time alone is a precious thing. That day, though, we were both going to put it off and hang out with Ben, do whatever he wanted. But he surprised us by wanting to go ride his new bike by himself. It was all a little too much for him to take in at once, we figured. He said he would ride down to the park and he'd meet up with us later. So there we were, Sean and I, with the house all to ourselves for the first time in months. We fell into old habits, hard. I remember Sean's hand on my shoulder, the mischievous gleam in his eye, and then the next thing I knew we were naked on his bed, and he was between my legs, sucking me for all he was worth. We knew we didn't have long, so we were going for speed. It was intense. Almost a week's worth of pent up teenage sexuality, unleashed all at once. It didn't take long before I came, shooting my twelve-year-old spunk into my big brother's mouth. He smiled as he suckled my cock. I had my first wet orgasm a while before we left New Zealand, a fact I was very proud of, and in the months since, Sean had definitely gotten to like my cum. In a few moments, we shifted positions, and I went down on him. It didn't take long before Sean was ready to cum...but it took long enough. "Oh my god!" Sean and I both jumped, his still spewing cock falling from my lips. We looked up and saw the voice belonged to Drew DelVecchio, one of my best friends, who was standing in the doorway...beside Ben. He just stood there, trembling, fists clenched, while several varieties of "OH SHITE" ran through my head. Sean and I scrambled for our clothes, and I started saying "It's not what it looks like" and all the standard things one would expect to hear in this scenario. But as I reached for Ben, he turned and bolted down the hall and through the front door. Sean started to follow him, but I held up my hand. "Think of how that must have looked to him," I said. "You stay here, and explain to Drew." I pointed to my dumbstruck friend who was still standing gape-mouthed in the doorway. I pursued Ben outside, wearing only a shorts and a T-shirt. The bitter cold stung my bare feet, but I couldn't waste any more time. Frantic, I looked around, and saw him running back in the direction of the park. I ran after him, calling his name. After three blocks, he tripped on the sidewalk, and I caught up with him. I reached to help him up, but he scrambled to his feet and shoved me away. "You told me it was safe!" he screamed, angry tears spilling down his face. "Oh, Benji," I said, trying to calm him. "It's not like that, we just--" "It sure as bloody hell looks like it, Tim!" He recoiled away from me again. "How long has he been making you--" "Sean's not making me do anything, Ben. Just let me explain. Please!" I reached for him one more time... ...and Ben slugged me, as hard as he could. "You promised it was safe!" He turned, and started running down the hill again. My jaw hurt like hell, I could taste the blood in my mouth. I wasn't thinking very clearly, but I knew I couldn't let Ben out of my sight, not in his state of mind. So I threw myself at him. We collided, and I held on as we both tumbled down the hill. It was such a stupid thing to do, but it was all I could think of. And so we landed in a heap on somebody's lawn. The ground was hard, and I'm amazed that we didn't break any bones. It took me a moment to realize that the pounding I felt on my back was Ben's fists as he tried to fight me off. He was screaming, and kicking, and putting up more of a fight than I'd ever thought him capable of (and that was saying a lot). But I held on, and let him pound on me, until he was exhausted, and sagged against me, crying. "Listen to me, Ben, please," I begged. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I know how it looked - I can't imagine how scared you are. But...it's NOT like that." "Then what's it like, dumbass? Huh? You tell me. What's...it...like?" His voice was cold, hard, and I could hear all the good that had been done the past six weeks being destroyed. I let out a ragged breath. "It was...after mum died... Sean and I...we needed each other..." And I explained about how I'd walked in on Sean that first time, and everything that had gone on since. I could tell he wasn't quite sure whether to believe me or not, but when I was done, he seemed calm enough, and I talked him into coming back to the house. I was sure by now my feet were going to be frostbitten (thankfully not!). We helped each other up and started to walk back. The tumble down the hill had given Ben's ankle a bad turn, so I put his arm over my shoulders, and we hobbled back to the house. We met Sean and Drew halfway, coming to look for us. Drew seemed nonplused by the whole thing, and Sean couldn't stop apologizing to Ben as we walked back. About an hour later, Greg got home, and saw Ben on the couch, bruised and with ice on his leg. Sean and I were prepared to come clean, about everything, and face whatever consequences there would be, but before we could say a word, Ben told Greg that he'd been riding with Drew, and had fallen off his bike. I'm sure Greg thought there was more to it than that, but he let it go, and just made sure that Ben was okay. Of course, when Alice and Ted came back that evening, they fussed over Ben like he was facing major sugery or something. We didn't get the chance to talk anymore until much later. That night, each of us laying in our own bed, I kept praying that everything would be okay, that Ben would believe me, and that he could accept what he had seen, and not be even more traumatized by it. Almost an hour after everyone else had gone to bed, Ben spoke up. "I'm sorry, guys," he said. Of course Sean and I both protested that he had nothing to be sorry about, that it was our fault and all that. Ben got quiet again, but after a few minutes, he said, simply, "I saw you and I just... I thought it was going to be bad all over again. But... I believe you guys. I know what it's like being horny." He paused, like he was building up to a big confession. "There were some fellas that... well..." he trailed off, but we got his meaning. "And then sometimes... even when it was bad... I...wanted it. I--I'm sorry. I just... I want you to know, I think I understand. Just...let me get used to it, I guess." "Will do, Benji," Sean replied. "Thanks," Ben said, letting out a sigh. "I... I love you, guys." "We love you, too, Ben," Sean said. I echoed his sentiment. "Oh, and one more thing," Ben added. "Yeah?" I asked. "You've got a cute arse, Tim," he said, laughing. As I turned beet red, I threw my pillow at him. Sean laughed so hard he nearly choked, and then all three of us were laughing. I'm amazed that Greg didn't wake up to check on us. When we could breathe normally again, and I retrieved my pillow over Ben's protests, we said goodnight, and all three of us drifted off to a peaceful sleep. ----- Well, there's another major episode in our lives. Looking back on all this, sometimes I can't believe everything we went through. Thanks for reading this, if indeed you are. There's plenty more to come, soon. If you'd like to write, my email address is patriotspectre@yahoo.com. Cheers, - Tim