My little brother has always been the sweetest guy in the world, but no more so than that awful summer we lost our father. He had heard our father’s dying wish, that I should watch out for him and he was determined that I shouldn’t have to. He struggled to be strong and to help me. But, every once in awhile, when Mother’s insults were too biting or her apathy and antipathy toward us was too great, when our sense of loss was overwhelming, we would retreat to our room and hug and cry and everything would, somehow, seem not quite so overwhelming.
A major component of our dealing with the pain was our sex play, what we referred to as “making the feeling.” It may seem strange to a reader of today or to someone younger than Scotty and me, but it was still possible for kids in the mid-sixties, before MTV, before music, television, movies, and video games became so sexually oriented, it was still possible for kids then to be so naïve about sex. It was true that I had reached the age of ten, was only three months from my eleventh birthday, and still had no concept of masturbation until that night. However, Scotty and I grew up very quickly in that regard and I must admit that I didn’t follow my father’s wishes as well as I could have in that regard. But, then, I was only a kid and there wasn’t really anyone we could turn to.
Except Uncle Ted.
It the day after the funeral, (and Scotty’s and my discovery of masturbation), that Dad’s younger brother, Ted called. Scotty and I had been out riding our bikes as I came in the back door, I heard Mother on the phone in the kitchen sounding none too pleased.
“Well, I didn’t call,” I heard her say in her typical aggrieved voice, “because we didn’t know how to contact you. We only knew that you were in Europe somewhere….Well, it all happened so quickly. He went downhill so fast that we really didn’t have time to think of everything…. Well, I really don’t think it’s necessary to take that kind of attitude. Well… of course. I suppose you could have the couch in the living room. Of course.”
I opened the refrigerator and removed a carton of orange juice. As I was filling my glass, Mother hung up and sighed with great indignation.
“We had so much going on,” she said to me as if I were Uncle Ted, “how could I be expected to remember everybody.”
“Well, Mother, he is Dad’s brother.”
She gave me a withering look.
“He just got back to New York today from Paris. He’ll be flying in to Greenfield tomorrow. I told him he could stay here Wednesday night. Now don’t you and Scott cause any problems while he’s here.”
“We won’t,” I replied softly. I knew not to say anything else.
Scotty entered from the back at that moment and I told him Uncle Ted was coming the next day.
“Yea! Uncle Ted is cool!”
Mother made a sour look and replied, “Uncle Ted’s a fruit. I don’t want you boys spending too much time with him alone.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, honestly not understanding.
She rolled her eyes as she lit a cigarette and left the room. I handed Scotty a glass from the cabinet and filled it with orange juice as he said, “I think she’s talking about him liking men instead of women.”
“Ah,” I said, understanding suddenly arriving. I had been wondering about myself in that regard for some time. My current crushes were the kid who played Sandy on Flipper and the lead singer of Herman’s Hermits, Peter Noone. I thought they were both so cute. Maybe I was like Uncle Ted. Maybe Scotty was, too. Maybe that’s why we did what we had done the night before.
We went to our room and closed the door. Scotty looked at me and grinned.
“You want to make the Feeling?”
I nodded, but said, “We might get caught. I did it in the bathroom this morning by myself.”
“Me, too,” Scotty replied.
“We can use the bathroom by ourselves and then tonight we can do each other again.”
“I can’t wait to do it with you again. It was so much better than doing it by myself in the bathroom.”
I kissed Scotty on the forehead and tussled his light blond hair. I had to admit that he was cuter than Luke Halpin any day.
Uncle Ted flew into Greenfield the next day and Scotty and I were sitting in the oak tree in the front yard as he drove up late that afternoon. We both jumped down from the tree and ran to him. We liked Uncle Ted much more than Mother’s brothers because he was fun and young, not hateful and older. He was ten years younger than Dad and had just graduated from Columbia. He managed an art gallery in New York City and flew all over the country and Europe. He seemed a lot like a younger version of Dad, strawberry blond hair instead of Dad’s darker blond, tall and rather skinny, and always laughing and playing games.
We stood at the curb and hugged for a long moment. Uncle Ted was unable to speak at first, and when he finally did, he had to sniff a couple of times. Mother was standing on the front porch beside one of the columns, a very fake smile on her face.
“Ted, I’m so glad you came.”
“Thanks, Betty,” he replied, playing along as if either cared what the other thought or said. “How are holding up?”
“Oh, you know how it is. I just go day by day. It’s all any of us can do.”
I was about to throw up and when Mother turned around and walked in, I rolled my eyes dramatically. Uncle Ted grinned and pretended to slap me.
“Behave,” he mouthed silently. I grinned in response.
“Betty, I brought some French chocolates with me for you and the kids.”
“How kind,” Mother replied. Looking daggers at Scotty and me, she added, “Try not to eat all of them.”
Patty came downstairs just before dinner, but showed no interest in Uncle Ted. Mother, naturally, didn’t reprimand her for her bad manners. If either of us boys had acted like that, we’d have been ripped apart.
After dinner, Uncle Ted said he wanted to drive out to the cemetery. Mother said it closed at sundown, which was more than two hours away, and added that she was just too exhausted to join him. Patty had retreated to the living room and was watching television. Scotty and I jumped up immediately. Uncle Ted hugged us and said to Mother, “We’ll be back soon.”
The evening sun cast a soft golden glow over the neighborhood as we drove toward the cemetery. Dad had always liked evenings and some of my happiest memories were of walking with him through the neighborhood on a summer evening. I was feeling particularly sad and Uncle Ted wasn’t contributing much.
We stood silently over the freshly dug earth as Uncle Ted stared at the temporary marker. Finally, he knelt and the three of us cried together. I cried harder than I had since that awful afternoon at the hospital; there was finally someone who cared about Scotty’s and my feelings and I just let it out.
Eventually, we slowly walked back to the car as the sun sank behind the trees to the west. Scotty and I sat together in the front seat, with my arms around him, he sitting back against me between my legs. When Uncle Ted climbed in, his eyes still red, he looked at us and smiled.
“You two are so beautiful,” he said softly. He reached over and caressed my head and then Scotty’s face.
“You know,” he said, “about a month ago, your Dad called me to tell me that he knew he wasn’t going to make it and that was concerned about the two of you. We all know you’re mother is a little different and he wanted to know, if worse came to worse, if I could take you.”
“You mean we get to live with you?” I asked excitedly.
Sadly, Uncle Ted shook his head.
“If things get to the point that your mother is making life too hard for you, I have his permission to take you. It’s all written down and legal. However, it’s probable that your mother would fight it.”
“Why?” Scotty asked. “She hates us.”
“Well, she hates me more,” Uncle Ted replied. Our eyes met and a silent understanding passed between us.
“Before I leave tomorrow, I’ll stop at the neighborhood post office and rent a box so we can write back and forth without your mother’s interference. I want you two to keep me informed of what’s happening, OK? Feel free to tell me anything and if you ever need anything, anything, you let me know. OK?”
We both nodded.
“Also, if you ever have any questions about anything, don’t be afraid to ask. And, nothing is too embarrassing for you to ask me. OK?”
“Actually,” I replied, “me and Scotty have a few things we’d like to talk about. You know, about… sex.”
Scotty looked up at me in surprise and then seemed to realize something. He smiled and nodded at Uncle Ted.
“Well,” he replied, ‘why don’t we wait until later, after your mother’s gone to bed. I’ll come into your room and we can talk about it then. How’s that?”
“Perfect!” I replied. Our eyes met again and held for a long moment. Finally, he smiled and started the car.
We spent most of the rest of the evening in the living room. Mother and Patty watched television while Uncle Ted played Battleship and Life with Scotty and me. He tried to engage Mother in conversation, but she made it clear she wasn’t interested. Every once in awhile, I would catch Uncle Ted looking at me and we would smile. I would blush because I knew he found me attractive.
Finally, Mother told Scotty to take his shower and when he was finished, I was ordered away as well. When he peeked into our room to tell us “Good Night,” he winked and reminded us he would be in later.
As soon as the door closed, I turned to Scotty and whispered, “He’s going to make the Feeling with us, later.”
“How do you know?” Scotty asked, excited.
I just smiled knowingly and started rubbing my erection. I couldn’t wait and neither could Scotty. He was immediately got up and out of his bed. He lay beside me and we hugged and slipped our fingers inside the flies of each other’s pajamas.
Mother seemed to go to bed earlier than usual and the lights were off downstairs for awhile before we heard a soft tap on the door. Scotty and I had made the Feeling once with each other, but we were still hard. He started to jump up and run to his bed, but I held him and grinned before whispering, “Come in.”
Even in the dark, I could see Uncle Ted was hard as he slipped in the door. He was wearing only a pair of boxer shorts and his dick was tenting them out to the left. He walked softly to my bed and grinned down at us as I removed my fingers from Scotty’s fly.
“You naughty boys,” he whispered as he sat down. Scotty giggled as he sat up to Uncle Ted’s right. I sat Indian style to his left. “Were you two playing with each other?”
and grinned as Scotty said, “We gave each other the Feeling. Are you
give us the Feeling?”
“Do you want me to?” he asked with a smile.
We both nodded and he hugged us both, kissing each of us on the mouth before releasing us and slipping his fingers inside our flys.
He was silent as we both moaned. His fingers took hold of my rigid little dick and gently felt it all over. He must have been doing the same to Scotty because I heard a soft, intermittent humming from Uncle Ted’s right side. I leaned over and grinned at Scotty. He smiled sweetly back at me.
“You want us to give you the Feeling, Uncle Ted?” Scotty asked. Uncle Ted smiled and leaned over, kissing Scotty on the cheek as he replied, “If you would like to.”
Almost immediately, we both reached into his boxers and pulled his huge dick out of the hole.
To my ten year old’s eyes, it seemed enormous, long and fat, with big, huge balls and lots of red hair. I ran my hands hungrily over it, as did Scotty, and the feeling in my dick seemed to grow.
“You like feeling my cock?” he asked softly.
“Oh, yeah. I love it,” I replied. “It’s gigantic.”
Uncle Ted chuckled and said, “Actually, it’s about average. But, I appreciate the compliment.”
As Scotty and I both began to squirm around a little, he slowed down in fondling of our little dicks and asked, “So how long have you two been masturbating each other?”
“Huh?” Scotty asked.
“He means doing this,” I explained. “Only a couple of days.”
“Monday?” he asked with surprise. “What happened?”
“Well,” I explained, “no one talked to us all day and we spent the whole time after the funeral in here and when we went to bed, we were so sad that we decided to sleep together. And, we were hugging and our dicks got hard so we started feeling each other and, I guess that’s how we started doing it.”
Uncle Ted was silent for a moment and then whispered softly, “That’s so sweet. You two love each other very much, don’t you?”
We nodded and smiled at each other as we continued to fondle him and he us.
“So, this is called masturbating?” I asked.
“Well, that’s the clinical term. Average guys call it ‘jacking off,’ or ’beating off,’ or ‘stroking off.’ Sometimes it’s called ‘spanking the monkey.’”
“Did you and Daddy ever spank the monkey?”
“Not together,” Uncle Ted replied. You Dad was a lot older than me and he was already in the Navy when I figured out how to do it. Besides, you Dad was into pussy instead of dick.”
I grinned, but Scotty looked confused, so I explained, “Dad liked women. Uncle Ted likes men.”
Uncle Ted nodded and asked, “I hope that isn’t a problem.”
“Naw. I do, too,” I replied. “I don’t like girls. They’re yucky and stupid and gross and guys are cute and fun and smart.”
“So, you think you’re gay?” he asked. “You know, lot’s of boys dislike girls at your age, and just because you like messing around with other guys right now doesn’t mean you will when you get older.”
“I will,” I replied. “I’m pretty sure I’m gay. That’s what you call it?”
“Well, ‘homosexual’ is the official term, but we call it being ‘gay.’”
“Well, I have a feeling you probably are,” Uncle Ted replied with a smile, still stroking and fondling our hard little dicks. “You dad thought so, too.”
“Really?” I asked. “Was he mad?”
“No,” Uncle Ted replied with a smile. “He loved you very much. That’s when we discussed my looking out after you and taking you just in case things with your mother don’t work out.”
“I’m gay, too,” Scotty declared.
“Well, that’s pretty impressive to know that when you’re seven, but I’d give it a few years before I was pretty certain about that. And, you two need to be careful about people finding this out, because society hates gay people. You get called terrible names like ‘queer’ and ‘faggot’ and ‘fairy’ and ‘sissy.’ And, you can get arrested, or beaten up, or killed. So, be careful. Write to me often and ask me any questions you have. I wish to got I could take you. I’d show you what you need to know and New York’s a much easier place to be gay than Greenfield.”
Scotty leaned over against Uncle Ted’s arm as they continued to stroke each other. Uncle Ted laid his head over on top of Scotty’s. Then, he leaned over and almost drove me crazy when he whispered in my ear, “I’ll make Scotty cum and then he can lie down and I’ll focus on loving you.”
“Oh, yeah,” I whispered, entranced with the handsome man sitting almost naked beside me. His reddish blond hair was combed so perfectly and his cheekbones were so high. He had such a distinguished face for a twenty-four year-old, yet he still looked like a teenager in some ways.
His dick didn’t look like a teenagers, I thought! It didn’t feel like one either. I was going wild running my fingers through his red dick hair and along the shaft of his hard dick.
Scotty moaned. Uncle Ted took his left hand away from me and held Scotty’s face as he seriously kissed the boy and rubbed his dick even faster and harder than before. Scotty started breathing really hard and moaning and squirming until he began to jerk all over. He moaned really hard as Uncle Ted held him and then he relaxed. Uncle Ted sat back and smiled at my little brother, who grinned as he panted.
“That felt good!” he whispered as Uncle Ted leaned over and kissed him on the mouth.
“I’m glad,” said Uncle Ted. “I love you, Scotty.”
“I love you, too,” Scotty replied as he laid down at the foot of the bed. He propped his head up to watch us. But, after only a couple of seconds, he lay his head down. As Uncle Ted scooted back against the wall, I crawled up and straddled his hips, facing him, and watching as Scotty’s eyes slowly closed.
“Let’s get naked,” Uncle Ted whispered in my ear. I felt aflame as I grinned and nodded. I was being introduced to sex by my uncle, a hot, handsome, sexy man. I leaned to the side and pulled my pajama shorts off as Uncle Ted slipped his boxers down his long legs. I climbed back on him, my short little dick rising stiffly next to his long fat hard dick. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him, squeezing me gently and making me moan with excitement. My dick pressed against his and I thought I was going to get that explosion feeling right then!
Uncle Ted ran his hands all over my face and all through my hair as he whispered, “You are to the most beautiful boy in the world. You are just amazing. I swear that we could make a million dollars with you as a model. I know men who would shoot their wives for five minutes with you.”
I wasn’t certain how I was supposed to respond, but I decided to answer in kind and whisper, “You’re the most handsome man I have ever seen,” which was pretty much true.
He looked into my eyes and smiled before leaning forward and kissing me softly on the lips. For a long time, he kept kissing and rubbing his lips against mine. Then, suddenly, I was surprised as I felt his lips part slightly and his tongue push forward. It touched my lips and slid sideways, back and forth for several seconds, until it pushed forward.
He wanted to put his tongue in my mouth! Ordinarily, I would have been grossed out at the thought. However, the idea of part of my Uncle Ted, especially something as sensuous as his tongue, being inside me, being inside my mouth, was the most exciting thought I’d ever had. My dick throbbed as I opened my lips and let him in.
Uncle Ted moaned softly into my mouth as his tongue pushed in and explored. It slid across my tongue and along the roof my mouth, over my teeth and toward my throat. His hands began to explore my slim body, sliding up and down my back, slipping around to my tummy and chest, and then down to the area around my dick and balls. He didn’t touch them; he just ran his fingers over the smooth skin near them, driving me mad as his tongue took control of my mouth.
At that moment, I wanted Uncle Ted to take total control of me. He could have done anything he wanted to me. I wanted him. I loved him. A beautiful, hot man was loving me and I was loving it.
His exploring fingers returned to my dick as my own hands roamed over his chest. He completely wrapped his hand around my stiff penis and began to slide it up and down as his other hand caressed my back. I could feel it glide up and down my spine as his other hand squeezed and rubbed my rigid dick.
It was too much. I started moaning, whining really, and squirming and twisting around on his thighs. Suddenly, It hit. I rammed my hips upward, forcing my dick into his fist. I started sucking hard on his tongue. And, I began moan and jerk wildly as Uncle Ted struggled to hold me.
It lasted only a few seconds and when it was over, I collapsed against my uncle as he held me tightly and whispered in my ear, “So sweet, so beautiful.”
Gradually, slipped back on his thighs a bit and made room for his dick. He smiled at me and reached down with his right hand, the same one that had rubbed my dick, and wrapped it around his own huge dick. Quickly, he began to pump up and down on it. I was hypnotized by what he was doing. I couldn’t take my eyes off his hand jacking off his dick.
I looked up and his eyes were gazing with such intensity at my face that I was almost embarrassed. But, then I realized it was love and that it was helping him reach the Feeling. I smiled and tried to be as beautiful as I could.
“Oh, God, Stevie, I love you,” he moaned as his eyes suddenly closed and his face contorted. I thought he was having a heart attack. And, then the wildest thing happened. Globs of white goo started shooting up and out of his dick! They landed on his tummy and mine and on his legs and mine. One shot even went up to my chest, just barely missing my tittie.
It lasted for ever, so much longer than when Scotty and I did it. When he was finished, he leaned back against the wall and smiled, caressing my face with his clean hand. I was staring at him in utter astonishment.
“What did you just do?”
“That’s what happens when you get older. You’ll do that in a year or two. It’s called an orgasm. You have dry ones, but like I said, in about a year or two, you’ll start shooting sperm, too. This is what babies are made of.”
Ahh. I thought. It all made sense to me now.
“And,” Uncle Ted added, “it’s sometimes referred to as ‘cum.’ Gay men love cum.”
He ran a finger through some of it on my tummy and licked it off. I was even more amazed. When he scooped some more up from my thigh and held it up for me, I felt both repulsed and curious.
“Believe me, soon, you will be addicted to this stuff,” he whispered.
I looked at it and took a breath. I licked his finger and tasted it. Surprisingly, it wasn’t bad. It was a little bitter, with creamy.
I looked at Uncle Ted and grinned. I wanted more. He happily scooped some more up for me. Soon, we had cleaned both of us up.
He leaned over and kissed me on the lips again and whispered, “I need to get back to the couch, just in case.”
“Aw, can’t you sleep in here with us? I want you to hold me. I want to do it again.”
He hugged me tightly.
“I love you, sweet Stevie, but we don’t want to risk getting caught. We’ll talk tomorrow and I’ll discuss with your mother about you and Scotty living with me.”
We hugged and kissed again and then he stood up, retrieved his underwear, kissed the sleeping Scotty on the lips, and slipped out the door.
Thank you for reading Chapter 2 of Survivors. Please write to me at JeffWriter@nycmail.com.