Date: Wed, 27 Feb 2002 19:48:12 -0800 (PST) From: eagle 42 Subject: Tanner & Robert, Chapter 10 Disclaimer: This story is a fantasy of my own creation. The characters are not real; they were born of my imagination. If a consensual relationship between two of-age males bothers you, then do not read further. If you are under the legal age in your area, stop reading now. Any similarities between a character and a real person, living or dead, are purely coincidental. Any actions the reader takes as a result of reading this story are not the responsibility of the author. You may not reproduce, post, or distribute this story in any way without the author's expressed written permission. You may print out one copy or save one copy of this story for your own viewing and entertainment. By reading further, you implicitly are agreeing to the above guidelines. Many thanks go to Hal, Jason & Cody for volunteering their time and expertise to edit this story. Comments from readers are encouraged. I appreciate your constructive criticism and remarks. Enjoy -- Tanner and Robert Deja vu Tanner "Dad, I want you to know that Kyle and I desperately want to accept yours and mom's offer. But, there's something you need to know about me before you make a final decision. I hesitated a moment and with a voice choked with emotion, I looked him straight in the eye and continued, "Dad, I'm ... gay ... I'm gay." Dad's facial expression changed to one of hurt and despair as he responded, "You're ... you're gay?" With that said, tears appeared in his eyes. He got up off the sofa and went into the kitchen, leaving Robert and me stunned! Chapter ten Robert I don't know how long Tanner and I sat there. It seemed that life had moved into some sort of slow-motion mode and time had no relevance. For what may have been an eternity, or maybe just a few seconds, he and I were lost in our private responses to Dad's unexpected behavior. My gut was wrenched apart! The man I respected most in the world seemed a stranger at this moment, a stranger whose behavior was at the same time devastating to Tanner and acutely foreign to me. I thought, "This could not be the Dad who, through my childhood, lovingly redirected me when I strayed, comforted me when I hurt, consoled me when my spirits were down and lifted me up in my moments of triumph and achievement!" However, reality, like a mist, slowly returned and soon engulfed us. Through my weeping eyes I could see the tears flowing down his cheeks as Tanner began to understand the ramifications of our Dad's reaction to his disclosure. Tanner I was devastated! The man I had come to admire and love in this short time, the man I had fantasized about this past six months, the man I had wanted to call "Dad" has just gotten up and left the room -- and maybe my life! My thoughts continued, "Damn, but to live with myself, I had no other choice than to be honest with him and Dorothy. ... Yet, seeing his reaction, maybe I should have continued my charade. ... Just maybe I should not have pursued this quest for 'holy grail', my prodigal Dad. SHIT! ... FUCK!" Robert I moved from my chair to sit on the floor in front of Tanner. Taking his quivering hands in mine, I gazed into his face and said, "I'm going in there and talk to Dad. His response definitely wasn't what either you or I expected. I think there something else besides your coming out that drove him to respond the way he did -- to just get up and leave the room. I'll be right back.... You ok?" Tanner nodded his head slowly, his eyes fixed on my face, and with a trace of bitterness in his voice, whispered, "Go! Talk to him; I'll be fine. I just need a few moments by myself here." As I entered the kitchen I saw Dad looking out the picture window, but he turned to face me upon hearing my footsteps. His face was flushed, his eyes were red and he was still crying. "Dad, what were you thinking ..." I began, but he interrupted. "Son, come here," he said as he beckoned for me into his outstretched arms. In a voice breaking with emotion he continued unsteadily, "I'm sorry about the way I reacted in there. It wasn't fair to either Tanner or you. I know that it seemed like I was rejecting him, that I'm upset about his being gay, but that's not it, I assure you. I love both of you unconditionally, and nothing you or he could do or say can ever change that... Let me get myself together here for a minute. ... Go check on your brother. I'll be right there. I have a lot of explaining to do to both of you." Dr. Worthington When I returned the boys were sitting beside each other on the sofa, Robert's left arm around Tanner's shoulders and his right hand on Tanner's right knee. Both were silent, and neither looked at me as I moved a chair over to be directly in front of them. "Tanner, Robert, I'm sorry for the way I reacted a few minutes ago; my behavior was uncalled for, and for that, I apologize." I reached out and grasped Robert's hand that was on Tanner's knee and continued, "I guess one might diagnose my reaction as being that of a flashback -- a result of 'posttraumatic stress syndrome'. It caught me totally by surprise too. Let me explain." I released Robert's hand, shifted back in my chair and began my story. "Robert, you remember your mom and I talking about my younger brother Todd who died before you were born? He was only 22. Anyway, Todd dropped out of college his senior year and enlisted in the military, much to your grandparent's displeasure. However, he was unhappy in school and needed to 'experience the world', as he would put it. So, he decided to 'be all that he could be.' "There was one problem, he was gay. And to answer your question before you ask it -- did the family know? 'Yes,' he came out to us when he was 15. And to pre-empt your next question, if may be so bold, 'Yes,' the family took it well and supported him." "Back then -- the dark ages to you guys, I'm sure -- being gay in the military required total secrecy. None of this 'Don't ask; don't tell' stuff. They would toss you out without blinking an eye, and you had no legal recourse whatsoever. Anyway, Todd successfully completed basic training at Fort Jackson in Columbia, South Carolina. In fact, he was decorated as the outstanding basic trainee in the battalion at the graduation ceremonies. After doing his AIT or advanced training at Fort Dix in New Jersey, Private Todd Worthington wound up being sent to Germany and was assigned to a tank battalion." "I was in medical school at the time and was home during that summer -- the first summer Todd was in Germany. Let me digress a bit -- you know the bit about how people remember exactly where they were and what they were doing upon hearing about President Kennedy's assassination -- well, that's how I remember what I'm about to tell you." "It was a Thursday morning, and my mom and I were enjoying a late breakfast and coffee. The doorbell rang, and upon my answering it, was solemnly greeted by three military officials, one of which was a chaplain. I knew immediately what that meant." "Let me cut right to the chase. They informed us that Todd had been beaten to death by a group of skinheads who were out to rid the world of 'homos' as they so eloquently put it. The assailants were in custody and would be tried for murder by a German court. They were eventually found guilty and received life sentences which they are still serving today, as far as we know." Robert interrupted, "Dad, I never knew any of this. Why didn't you tell me?" "Robert, your mom and I just never could find either the 'right' time or the 'right' circumstances. I'm just sorry you're finding out this way. You too, Tanner." I continued, "Tanner, when you came out to me, I had this flashback -- I was actually back there in that living room and reliving those horrible moments of hearing my mother moan, of seeing my Dad later crying uncontrollably at the memorial service, and my feeling so much loss knowing that Todd and I would no longer have those wonderful times we shared together.... I guess we were as close as two brothers could be. He was two years younger, but we did everything together, got in trouble together, played sports together -- even doubled dated when we were in college. Dorothy and me and Todd and his boyfriend-of- the-month." I chuckled out loud just thinking about those days, but then returned to the present reality of dealing with Tanner and Robert. "It wasn't that I was upset at your disclosure; I guess your coming out to me just reminded me of all the hate and bigotry that you will face, that possibly you could wind up like Todd. ... I'm sorry, please forgive me." Without saying a word, Tanner got up from the sofa, pulled me to my feet and embraced me in a long hug. "Dad, I'm sorry that my coming out to you brought you so much pain from the past, but I had to be honest with you. And, ... and, I hope you'll have me as your son." With tears of joy running down my cheeks, I responded, "Tanner, nothing could make me happier than to have you and Kyle to be a part of this family. How does your brother feel about it?" "I can't speak for him, Dad, but, my guess is you and mom will soon have 3 teenagers in the once quiet Worthington household," Tanner answered. I picked up on the comment and said with a smile breaking across my tear-stained face, "There hasn't been a moment of quiet since Robert entered our little world, and Dorothy and I wouldn't want it any other way." I kissed Tanner on the cheek. Robert interrupted, "Dad, there's something I need to tell you also; you'd better sit down. ... Dad, Tanner's not the only son you have that's gay ..." I broke in. "Robert, if you're about to come out also, your mom and I already know. That is, we've suspected you were gay for a long time, but we've been waiting for you to feel comfortable enough with your sexuality for you to tell us." The look on Robert's face was priceless as I continued, "Don't get me wrong, Robert. I don't mean to imply that you act "gay", whatever that means. I mean that you're more like Todd than me. Since you were born, I've kidded your mom about the possibility of Todd being your dad rather than me. You look like him; you talk like him; your mannerisms are his and yet, you never knew him." I grinned and quipped, "Don't worry, son. You passed the DNA test. You're all mine. ... "Thanks loads, Dad," Robert shot back, with a smirk on his mischievous face and continued, "I guess Tanner and I must have inherited the 'gay' gene from him somehow because it obviously wasn't from you. I mean, mom has told me about your being the "campus stud" back in college and how she hesitated the first time you asked her out because of your reputation with the ladies. Didn't think I knew, did you?" My face turned crimson as I realized that Robert had me good. "Your mom and I need to have a little talk about what else she's told you, young man." Tanner smiled broadly and interrupted, "I think I need to spend some 'quality' time with mom also, Robert. It'll give a chance to know the 'real' dad." Our conversation was interrupted by the phone ringing upstairs. We heard Jason answer but could not make out what was being said. In a few minutes, Jason walked into the room and announced, "That was Dr. Gamac and Kyle. It seems that all the tests' results are in; everything seems to be fine. Kyle's going to be released tomorrow morning. We can pick him up anytime after 9 a.m. Dr. Gamac did say that the only reason he's letting Kyle out so quickly is because I'll be around to keep an eye on him. In fact, I'm not going back to the office until next week. I guess Dr. Gamac still thinks of me as a doctor, after all. I responded, "That's great news, Jason. In that case, I need to get back home --several cases pending that need my attention now. Let me get on the phone here and book a seat for tomorrow afternoon." Jason "Bob, again that won't be necessary. One of our company planes is taking four of our staff to Washington tomorrow afternoon. One more passenger can get aboard easily, and they can drop you off right at the municipal airport where we left from originally." Bob responded, "Jason, are you sure about this? I don't mind taking a commercial flight home." "Not in the least. I'm glad we can be of assistance," I answered. "We're just happy that you could come out in the first place. I know Tanner and Kyle appreciate your being here. Now, what have you guys been up to?" Tanner "Nothing much, Uncle Jason. I just come out to Dad and ..." "Me too, Uncle Jason," Robert interrupted. Jason responded, "Whoa, boys! When I asked what you had been up too, I didn't expect all this. Now start over." Dad, Robert and I related the whole scene to Uncle Jason. When we finished he walked over to me, gave me a hug and said, "Tanner, I think you've made the right decision to move in with Bob. I'm assuming that Kyle's gonna be OK with this, of course. You know I love you and Kyle like you were my own, but you two need a family like Bob and Dorothy -- to be nurtured and loved and accepted." Uncle Jason's eyes welled up a bit and became misty as he spoke. Then turning to Bob, Uncle Jason continued, "Bob, I can't begin to tell you how happy it makes me to know that Kyle and Tanner will become a member of your family. It's a very loving and unselfish act that you and Dorothy have committed to. Tanner's mom always said you were 'good people' and now I believe it. Not everyone would be willing to take on two additional children to raise, especially teenagers -- although Tanner won't be a teenager much longer." Dad responded, "Jason, it's simply the right thing to do; they're family," and let it go at that. - We spent the remainder of the evening -- well past 1 a.m. -- discussing the logistics of beginning our move to the East coast. And, that was assuming that Kyle was OK with everything. Dad and Uncle Jason suggested that we carry back with us what clothes we would need for the next week or so and ship the rest by truck. Dad felt that we should pick out any furniture that may have personal or sentimental value, ship it, and donate the remaining to a local charity. Turning to me Dad continued, "Tanner, Jason has filled me on the insurance and court settlement. Let me establish up front that Dorothy and I are taking on the financial responsibility of being your parents. You and Kyle will not be expected to spend your inheritance, except for your educational needs. Jason outlined to me that part of the money has been earmarked for educational purposes and only for that. We're hoping to be able to transfer your scholarship from Stanford to Virginia, if that's where you wish to attend. Granted, if it's not spent because of scholarships, then the funds are transferable for use at your discretion once you and Kyle reach the age of 25. Even if these funds were not available, you and Kyle would never have to worry about paying for your college and post undergraduate work." I interrupted, "Dad, Kyle and I don't want to become a financial burden on you guys. After all, Robert's educational needs have to considered." Then nodding toward Robert and with a mischievous smile breaking across my face, I continued, "After all, Robert's not scholarship material like his half-brother genius here. He'll probably kill the college money tree just trying to get his bachelor's degree." I knew, of course, that Robert was ranked number two in his junior class back at his high school and that he had scored over 1450 on his SATs. No one would take offense at my light-hearted comment. That brought Robert's traditional response reserved for me lately. Feigning a reaction of shock, I said, "Dad, my little brother just shot me the finger. He just has no respect for his elders." The moment lightened with more retorts and recriminations being hurled between little bro and me until Uncle Jason broke it up. "Enough guys! Cheez! Bob, I'll just offer this one last time. It's not too late to reconsider. You do have time to sleep on it. AND, speaking of sleep, I think it's time we all hit the sack. Tomorrow's going to be an exciting and long day what with Bob returning to work and you guys taking care of Kyle for a few days. I have a feeling that Dr. Gamac will give his approval to Kyle's flying out with you two and me this coming weekend. Look out, Virginia!" Robert We said our goodnights and headed to our respective bedrooms. Tanner called first shower so while he getting rid of the day's grime I went about brushing my teeth and other necessary toilet duties. "If you're ready, Robert, I'll just leave the shower running. Would you hand me that body towel? I don't want to have to mop the floor after we wrap up in here." Without the slightest hint of shyness, He stepped out of the shower naked as I marveled at his sculptured, sexy body -- that swimmer build that projected bulges in all the right places, that beautiful cock and muscular bubble butt. As my eyes locked on his, Tanner grinned and asked, "Like what you see?" I grinned too and nodded as he turned his gaze towards me and responded, "Me too, little bro. I like what I see." (pause) A serious look replaced the smile as Tanner continued. "But, bro, we need to talk. Our coming out to each other really changes the dynamics between us, doesn't it? I don't want us to do anything that could possibly become roadblocks to our being brothers first. (pause) Get your shower, bro. Something smells in here and it ain't me! Then we'll finish this conversation." Tanner I heard the shower noise end and shortly Robert walked into the room wearing only his skin and a smile. He was towel drying his hair with both of his hands semi flexing his firm arms, and showing me all of his hard body. Little drops of water were still dripping from his smooth perfect frame. It seemed like the cool air in the room made his nipples harden right before my eyes. I thought, "Damn, what a sexy body! Take it easy now, self; don't spring a woody right now. A serious talk is more important at this moment. Down, boy, down!" I began, "Robert, I commented a few minutes ago that I didn't want us to do anything that has the potential of screwing up our newfound relationship. To let you know where I'm coming from, I want to give you a bit of my relationships history. I guess that's as good a way to say it as any." "When I was a senior in high school, I was very active on the student council. One of my responsibilities was to ensure that all new students were warmly welcomed, shown about the school and introduced to lots of students and faculty. We had a committee of volunteers and I chaired that committee. Anyway, when the rotation came around to me, this new student named Michael became my charge for the day. To make a long story short, we hit it off immediately. He was gay and out of the closet. In a few short weeks, we became sexually involved but very quickly the relationship hit rocky roads, and we parted in not too friendly a fashion." "The reason I'm confessing this is that Michael and I let sex get in the way of developing a true friendship first. I look back on that experience as just two horny teenagers in rut getting their rock off using each other. That's all it was. We confused lust for love and sex for intimacy." "Robert, I don't want anything to fuck up our budding relationship. We've got to learn to be brothers, and then friends. Your friendship means too much to me for me to allow anything to jeopardize it. Do you understand?" Robert said, "Tanner, as much as I don't want to acknowledge that you're right, I know you are. Thanks for helping me see that we've got to take things slowly and cautiously. If it were left up to me, I would have jumped your bones tonight! You're just so sexy and . . ." I chimed in, "That's what I mean, bro. There's nothing I'd like better right now than to hop into the sack and make the nasty with you. But, we both know that we would just be fucking each other's brains out and not making love. I don't think that's what either one of us truly wants, is it.?" Robert Tanner, of course was right. We, then and there, decided to go the harder route (no pun intended) and really develop our relationship as brother and friend. I also pointed out that our relationship as brother and friend had to include Kyle. If we were fucking our eyeballs out all the time, what would that do to Kyle and his developing new relationships with Mom, Dad and me. Damn, life just isn't so simple anymore! Sleep overcame our discussion since it was after 2 p.m. the last time I had glanced at the clock. I must confess that we decided that snuggling at night in the bed was permissible -- just as long as it didn't lead to anything else. After all, we're not perfect!! Dr. Worthington We got to the hospital early the next morning. Dr. Gamac met with us, outlined Kyle's care and released him to go home. Once we arrived at the condo, Kyle got settled in using the room I had used. That worked because I was leaving this afternoon to fly back to Virginia. Tanner, Kyle, and I talked before lunch and they "formally" accepted our invitation to become members of our family. I called Dorothy and filled her in on the latest news (except the "coming out of the closet" stuff -- that was the responsibility of Robert and Tanner to tell their mom). It didn't take long for Kyle's energy level to drop to below zero and he was soon fast asleep. I said my goodbyes to the boys and told them that Dorothy and I would be looking forward to their arrival Saturday afternoon. They would stay back at the condo with Kyle while Jason took me to the airport. The company plane was waiting for us to arrive. I thanked Jason for his generosity and for all that he had and would be doing for the boys. We hugged; he left the plane, and we were airborne in just a few minutes. Jason I walked in the door of the condo and was greeted by gales of bawdy laughter. All three boys were in the living room. Kyle was lying on the sofa while Tanner and Robert were sitting on the floor in front of the sofa. My well-trained ear told me they were in the middle of telling dirty jokes when I walked in. "Well, guys, Bob's on his way and I'm hungry; how about you? We had just parked ourselves in front of a huge order-out pizza when the phone rang. I answered it. The boys looked up and saw that I had turned pale and was stuttering. "When?". . . How long ago? . . . I'll be right down." I hung up the phone, turned to them and said with a shaking voice. "Boys, that was the office. The airport and FAA just called. Our plane was lost from radar about 45 minutes ago and it seems to have gone down. Right now that's all we know."