Date: Fri, 1 Feb 2002 18:38:03 -0800 (PST) From: eagle 42 Subject: Tanner & Robert, Chapter 9 Disclaimer: This story is a fantasy of my own creation. The characters are not real; they were born of my imagination. If a consensual relationship between two of-age males bothers you, then do not read further. If you are under the legal age in your area, stop reading now. Any similarities between a character and a real person, living or dead, are purely coincidental. Any actions the reader takes as a result of reading this story are not the responsibility of the author. You may not reproduce, post, or distribute this story in any way without the author's expressed written permission. By reading further, you implicitly are agreeing to the above guidelines. Many thanks go to Hal, Jason & Cody for volunteering their time and expertise to edit this story. Comments from readers are encouraged. I appreciate your constructive criticism and remarks. Enjoy -- Tanner and Robert - Chapter 9 Deja vu Then it hit me! "Oh, God!" I thought. "I can't accept Dad's offer and not be honest about my being gay. He has to know up front. Fuck! What if he's a homophobe! What if he and Dorothy don't want me then! ... And Robert, I have to come out to him too ... just can't mislead them, not the people I love." "Love ...Did I mean that? After such a short time?" I asked myself. I thought about it. "Hell, yes, I meant it! I do love all three of them. Shit, shit, damn it! Why the hell could I not just be 'normal'? What a fucking cross to bear!!!!" About that time I heard voices approaching the door to the men's room; several patrons entered and went about their business. From their conversation I gathered that they knew each other. By the time they left I had regained my composure enough to leave the stall and wash my face and hands. Now to face dad and share my horrible secret with him! Chapter Nine Dr. Worthington Jason's choice of restaurants was excellent. However, Tanner was unusually quiet as we ate our late lunch. Rather, he poked at his food, and commented that he really wasn't very hungry when I inquired as to whether he was enjoying the meal. It was obvious that Tanner was wrestling with some devils of his own as we headed back to the condo for a short rest. During the ride back, he spoke only when spoken to and then replied with a minimum of words. I reminded everyone that Dr. Gamac said we could visit with Kyle after dinner tonight. Whereupon, we three Easterners decided to take a nap to help with the time change. Robert As Tanner and I proceeded to our bedroom, I attempted to get him involved in a conversation, but he would have none of that. In fact, he had become somewhat withdrawn and almost sullen with me. "Had I done or said something to upset him?" I wondered. We silently stripped out of our clothes, finished our bathroom chores and piled in the bed for an afternoon nap. I started to say something to him, but he rolled over and faced away from me. "Well, I guess I can take a hint," I thought to myself as I, too, rolled away from him and promptly fell asleep. I was awakened in the middle of my nap by what I thought was the bed slightly shaking and the noise of quiet sobbing. At first I thought I had been dreaming, but I soon realized that the source was Tanner. Rolling over to face him, I saw that he was curled up, naked as I was, into the fetal position and that he was crying. Tears swelled up in my eyes in reaction to his obvious distress. My brother was hurting! I reached over and placed my hand lightly on this shoulder so as not to startle him. "Tanner," I whispered. "What's wrong, bro? Can I help?" He shoved my hand from his shoulder, moved even further away from me and, in a voice full of anguish, said, "No, nobody can help me. This is something I've got to work out myself." I returned my hand to his shoulder, scooted over to him, raised up so I could look down on his flushed- red face and offered, "Tanner, you're my brother; don't shut me out! I love you and want to help." By now we were both crying. Tanner slowly rolled over to face me, placed his hand on my cheek to rub away my tears and said, "Robert, you know that your dad is asking Kyle and me to become a member of the family. We'll be your brothers. But, there's something about me that you and your parents need to know before that decision can been finalized. You all might want to withdraw the invitation to be a part of the family once you know." I interrupted, "Tanner, there's nothing you could tell me that would make me not want you as a brother, NOTHING. I mean, you're not an ex-con, are you?" I grinned and he responded in kind. For a moment the tension lightened but quickly returned with a vengeance as he spoke. "Robert, I'm ... I'm gay. There, I've said it. I'm GAY." Tanner's revelation momentarily stunned me, and a look of shock must have enveloped my face. His response to my reaction was to roll away from me, get out of bed, walk over to the window and stare into space. The silence in the room was deafening. I, too, got up, eased around the bed and moved towards him. I softly asked, "You're gay?" He abruptly turned and with a look of defiance and deep pain on his face, he blurted, "You heard me right, damn it! I'm gay! Now do you want me as your brother? Would YOUR dad have a gay son in his family?" With that final question he posed to me, I walked up to him, placed his chin between my hands, looked directly into his eyes and quietly revealed my secret, "He already has one in the family ... me! He just doesn't know it yet." Tanner "You're ... you're gay too?" I gasped. "You're not fucking with me, are ya? ... My God! You ARE serious!! I grabbed Robert and just hugged him for a moment, then just pushed him far enough away so that I could see his face and continued, "You're really GAY! ... And your dad and mom don't know?" "No, they don't," Robert responded. "I've only come to terms with my being gay in the last year. Oh, the opportunity's been there many times to come out to them recently; but, frankly, I haven't had the balls to do so." "I don't know little brother," I commented with a sly grin on my face. "From what I've seen, you've got plenty of balls ... and the bat ain't so small either." Robert retorted, "Thanks, I think!" I continued in a more serious tone, "Robert, I really do need to be honest with your dad and mom; I've got to come out to them before they continue with their wanting me to become an 'official' member of the family. However, I don't want my coming out to pressure you to do the same until you're really ready." "No, let's do it at the same time," Robert answered. "Maybe we can share the courage together and dad's reaction too. Frankly, I just don't know how he'll handle it. I've never heard him use a racial slur or a personal put-down; it's just not his nature. Neither is mom's. However, when it's your own flesh and blood coming out, that might be a different matter." I said, "Let's not sell your parents short -- make that our parents -- Robert. I know I've only known them a short time, but my read is that they'll handle our coming out with love and support. My parent's did. You know, Uncle Jason's gay and they were fine with that ... Oops, I just revealed a trust that was not mine to reveal. Just forget I said that, please!" Robert responded, "No problem, Tanner. Not a hint from me! But when? When do we tell them? Tonight? "Bro, Dad is expecting mine and Kyle's decision probably by tomorrow evening. We have to "fess" up tonight or tomorrow morning; let's tell him tonight after dinner," I answered with some fear in my gut. At that moment, our sharing was interrupted by dad on the intercom. "Fellows, Kyle just called. From the tone in his voice I think he's rather bored and lonesome and would like some company. Let's get a visit in now, go do a bit of shopping for groceries and fix dinner here. How does that sound?" Robert nodded in the affirmative while I answered, "Sounds great to us; we'll be down shortly. I know I'm looking forward to a longer visit with Kyle anyway." Dad responded, "OK; Let's leave in about 15 minutes; that work for you?" "That'll be fine, dad." I answered. As the short interplay with dad ended, Robert and I both suddenly realized we were standing there, buck naked, and had been during the entire "confession" time. But, this time our reactions were anything but sexual. In fact, just the opposite, we both were somewhat embarrassed, if that's the right word. We discovered in a later conversation that we each had become aware that we didn't want to appear to be "coming on" to each other just because we had just "fessed" up about being gay. That would have appeared opportunistic and selfish. We had too much respect for each other at that moment. If we were to develop a relationship, then this was neither the place nor time to just hop in the sack with each other. We quickly dressed, headed downstairs and joined up with Uncle Jason and Dad. The drive to the hospital didn't take long since traffic wasn't bad at that time of day. Kyle "Boy, am I glad to see you guys. I was really getting a bad case of the "four-wall fever," I almost shouted as Uncle Jason, Dr. Worthington, Robert, and my brother entered the room. Tanner walked over to my bed and hugged me then said, "Little bro, you're sure appear a lot better this afternoon; man, you almost had that zombie look this morning." He then lifted up the sheet, glanced at my crotch and continued, "Still haven't the "dickectomy" yet, I see. When's that scheduled?" He laughed and the others joined in. Needless to say, I turned beet-red and retorted, "Tanner, I can't believe you'd say that in front of Dr. Worthington and Uncle Jason! Have you no 'couth'?" I joined in the merriment, even though it was at my expense. As the laughter and kidding settled down, Dr. Worthington addressed me, "Kyle, if the others here will excuse us, I have something that I want to discuss with you. Is that OK with you?" "Yes, sir," I answered. "Right now works for me if it does for you." Turning to Tanner and Robert, I continued, "You peons may take you leave. Dr. Bob and I have important business to attend to." Uncle Jason, Tanner and Robert all bowed with a flourish and exited the room. As Tanner was the last to leave, he turned around and shot me a "bird". Dr. Bob and I laughed. Dr. Worthington I sat on the edge of Kyle's bed, took his right hand in both of mine, looked him in the face and tenderly said, "By the way, I'm doing this with the wholehearted support of your Uncle Jason. Let me get right to the point, Kyle. Dorothy and I would like for you and Tanner to become a part of our family, to move back to Virginia with us. Your brother and I talked this morning; now I want you to consider it. " Kyle interrupted, "Wow, you folks would be willing to have two more teenagers in your home?" "More than willing, more like thrilled to have you two," I responded. "I can't tell you how happy Robert is about the possibility. He's always dreamed of having another brother, or in this case, two brothers -- not quite this way, however." We both laughed nervously. I continued, "There're plenty of great schools and colleges nearby and a wonderful music conservatory where you could continue to study. You and Tanner would have your own rooms; you wouldn't even have to share bathrooms. We've indicated to Jason that we would like to be in a position to legally adopt you and Tanner if you two agree after you've been with us a year. Anyway, talk with Tanner and Jason about this. You and I can discuss this again tomorrow evening. Any questions?" I squeezed his hand, then leaned over and gave him a hug. Kyle's eyes misted over as he tried to maintain some semblance of self-composure. He said softly, "This last year has been a nightmare for us, what with Mom's cancer and then the accident. Tanner and I have tired to put on a "brave face" as Uncle Jason would put it, but, deep down, we've been really hurting. The main thing that has kept my brother focused in the past 6 months was knowing that you were out there, and ... and now, you're offering ... you want us ..." At that point Kyle let go of all the pain, hurt, and frustration that had been building up. While I held him, his body shook as he cried it all out -- his arms holding me tightly like he would never let go. After some time had passed, and with some effort, Kyle released me and I sled off the bed and stood up. With his eyes still full of tears, he said, "Could I speak with Tanner now? And ... and ... thank you, Dad." I knew he had made his decision. Tanner As I walked into the room, I could see that Kyle had been crying, but there, spreading across his face, was a big smile and a look of contentment that I hadn't seen since the accident. "Well, brother, I think we have some important decisions to make tonight. Wanna start?" I began. "Tanner, let's do it! I know I haven't been around Dr. Worthington long, and of course, haven't met Robert's mom, but my first instinct is to say 'yes'. They got to be wonderful people if you like them -- or should I say 'love' them," Kyle said excitedly. I responded, "Whoa, little brother, calm down! This decision we're about to make is going to change the direction of lives. I want to do this too, but let's consider the ramifications of what we're about to do. Let's not rush this. I mean, we don't have to give an answer in the next hour." I laughed. I saw the expression on Kyle face change from one of utter joy to one of trepidation. He asked quietly, "Do they know ... that you're ...?" I interrupted, "Gay; do they know I'm gay? No, but Robert does as of about an hour ago." "What was his reaction?" Kyle immediately asked. "Well, let's let him tell you," I responded, walking to the door to get him. Robert I walked into the room and over to Kyle's bed. The radiant smile on his face spoke a thousand emotions and words as he beckoned to me, holding out his hand. "Come here, brother," he said and continued, "Tanner told me that he came out to you and that I was to ask you how you felt about his being gay. ... Well? I took his hand and responded, "Little bro, I'm afraid in this future household the score is gonna be "Gay, 2; Straights 1." It took a moment but then the light bulb went off. Kyle looked at me, than at Tanner then back to me and said, "You mean ... you're gay too?" Then an impish smiled appeared and he continued, "You mean I'll be living with two 'pervs'?" Tanner and I laughed out loud as Kyle placed both hands over his crotch as if to protect himself. Tanner quipped, "No gay person in their right mind would be interested in that needledick -- not when there're some real studs like us out there. Sorry to disappoint you, bro.!" "Needledick? NEEDLEDICK?" Klye responded. Having said that he threw back the covers to reveal is midsection and continued, "Robert, does that look like a needledick to you? And keep your hands to yourself," he interjected with a wicked grin on his face. I must admit that reality set in. Lying before me was a teen "blessed" with an eight incher that put both Tanner and me to shame in the inches depart. Kyle continued with his teasing at Tanner's expense, "I don't know what propaganda Tanner's been spewing forth regarding my having a 'needledick', but I think I've put an end to his fairy tale. You know what? He's just jealous; that's what it is! He just can't face the fact that his 'little' brother is bigger than he is where it counts." Laughing with tears running down his cheeks, Tanner interrupted, "Okay, Okay. I give! I admit you're 'king of the cock' in this household. I've checked out Robert's and he's even smaller than me." I chimed in between giggles, "Wait a minute! How did I get included in this 'stud' contest? That's between you two, and let's keep it that way!" The boisterous noise in the room brought in Uncle Jason and Dad just as Kyle pulled the sheets up over his midsection. Jason "I can't imagine what has produced this merriment that can be heard half-way down the hall; come to think of it, I DON'T want to know either," I said. Bob immediately agreed with me. I continued, "Bob, maybe you and Dorothy should re-consider your offer. Are you sure you two are ready for this?" Bob responded, "I can't imagine a more marvelous sound than these three filled with the sounds of laughter and love for each other. I assure you, Dorothy and I look forward to hearing this in our home too -- except not at 2 a.m. -- REMEMBER THAT, guys. They all saluted and responded, "Yes, sir, Dad, sir! That did it; the entire group broke into gales of laughter! Now we all could be heard as far away as the nurse's station, I'm sure. The visit lasted another hour as questions were asked and answered (mostly) regarding Bob's offer. It was decided to let everyone think about it overnight. After finishing some grocery shopping, we returned to the condo. I had arranged for Jacque, my sometimes personal chef, to prepare our dinner. He agreed on short notice only if we did the shopping. We readily agreed. After a marvelous meal, Tanner and Robert said that they needed to talk with Bob. "No problem, guys. I've got to run to the office for a couple of hours anyway; see you about ten, " I responded. Tanner "Dad, I want you to know that Kyle and I desperately want to accept your's and mom's offer. But, there's something you need to know about me before you make a final decision. I hesitated a moment and with a voice choked with emotion, I looked him straight in the eye and continued, "Dad, I'm ... gay ... I'm gay." Dad's facial expression changed to one of hurt and despair as he responded, "You're ... you're gay?" With that said, tears appeared in his eyes. He got up off the sofa and went into the kitchen, leaving Robert and I stunned!