By Waddie Greywolf

Chapter 2

Curtis Langtry    

Curtis Langtry, my grandfather, was the nephew of  Lillie Langtry of Judge Roy Bean fame, the hanging judge of Langtry, Texas.  While they never met when he was alive, ole Roy fell in love with a picture of her someone gave him.  He built a theater in her honor and change the name of the town he lived in to Langtry. When he died he willed her one of his six-shooters that’s still in the Langtry museum in New Jersey.  She was a beautiful, talented woman with dark violet eyes who captured the hearts of Europeans as well as her own countrymen.  She was mistress to Edward VII for many years and was sometimes known as ‘The Jersey Lily.’

Granddad had great plans for his oldest son. He taught him all he knew about being a cowboy. He taught him to rope and ride at an early age.  My dad, Vincent, or Vince, was a damn good cowboy, too.  Granddad was bringing his youngest boy, Seth Quee, along as well, but Seth just didn’t have the same natural talent for roping as his older brother Vincent.  Naturally, granddad was interested in winning and would, most times, partner with his boy Vince. They won a lot and granddad was a proud man.

You might think showing one boy favoritism by pushing him harder in a sport than another would be cause for major sibling rivalry. Not so with Vince and Seth. Vince was a sensitive young man and could see how it effected his younger brother.  Vincent was also wise beyond his years.  Many said he had the soul of an old man behind his eyes.  He would compensate by spending as much time with his younger brother as he could, practicing roping or anything Seth chose to do.

Vincent spoiled his little brother.  He would never argue with him and if Vince had something Seth wanted he would simply give it to him; no questions ask. Curtis would marvel at the two boys bond with each other and bragged his boys never fought.  Of course they never fought, they were too busy making love to each other. The boys developed a bond between them early on that transcended and compensated for the love they didn’t receive from their father.  Sibling rivalry became sibling revelry; the very definition of incest.
Although he might have had a great, deep love for his boys he was like so many western men and was afraid to show any overt signs of affection toward them.  There was never a mention of being proud of them, a pat on the back for a job well done, nor a quite moment between them when he might simply tell them he loved them.  Men just didn’t tell other men they loved them!  

“T’weren’t natchrul!” Curtis would claim.

The boys grew up never knowing exactly what their dad thought of them, and so, came to depend on each other for the love and affection they weren’t getting from him.  Their mom died in child birth having Seth Quee and Vincent was only two years old at the time.  Neither boy could even remember their mom.  A spinster sister came to live with Curtis Langtry to help take care of the boys until they were of an age to take care of themselves.  Aunt Gertie was the only mom they ever knew.

Curtis Langtry was a, no nonsense, fundamentalist Christian, a rigid, upright, stalwart, deacon of ‘The First Baptist Church of the Nazarine,” soldier of the cross,  who saw everything he perceived as wrong or evil in the world fully supported by his religion’s warped and distorted views of ‘God’s holy word.’ Moral issues and values were only as clearly defined as the latest rabid sermon by the preacher who interpreted the scriptures for the less holy, the less learned of his congregation, from fear and loathing of his own repressed sexuality; backed up by a goodly shovel-full of Hellfire and damnation rhetoric.  A God-awful, demonic brew.

Even though the book of Revelations reads like a love letter from Charles Manson, Curtis believed every word as gospel. If the bible said  pluck out thine eye or cut off thine own hand if it offends thee, according to my dad, my granddad would.  There were no gray areas. There was no wiggle room. So it was, with him and his two boys. His two most precious gifts a God might bestow upon a man, he cast away from him in a moment of heated, rigid, false religious piety.

After dad got my mom pregnant at sixteen and granddad caught him with Bubba Swanzey sucking each other’s dicks in his barn he went ballistic.  He told my dad he wouldn’t be living under the same roof with ‘no Goddamned sodomite’ and for his son to leave immediately.  Dad hadn’t even finished high school.  He married my mother, joined the Marines and was immediately shipped to Vietnam.

Dad’s younger brother, my Uncle Seth, stuck up for my dad.  He told my grandfather he was being too hard on my dad, and if he couldn’t understand the greater truth of Christ’s message, and find it in his heart to forgive his brother, then he had to leave, too.  Uncle Seth explained to my granddad he was a bigger sodomite than my dad ever thought he was.  Uncle Seth told the old man he was the one who talked my dad into sharing physical love with him.

Granddad ignored Uncle Seth’s ultimatum.  He probably figured he did wrong by my dad, but he’d never admit it.  Admitting you made a mistake or might be wrong was a sign of weakness in a true western man; a chink in the armor of a soldier of God.  Unbeknownst to everyone, it damn near ripped the old man’s guts out, but he knew in his heart it was what God would’ve wanted him to do;  however, whatever reward God might have planned for him in a hereafter for denying his oldest son, Curtis sure as Hell didn’t want to lose his youngest; his baby boy; his last son. He thought Uncle Seth was bluffing; he was making it all up to get his dad to reconsider;— until one night, granddad found himself roped and hog tied, with Uncle Seth sucking his ole dick like a new born calf who just found his momma’s teat.

When my dad related the story, he told me, “Uncle Seth was a’ suck’n his dad’s cock like a Hoover vacuum cleaner possessed with a demonic spirit. Uncle Seth didn’t stop, neither, when his old man called him every dirty name he could think of and then invented a couple.  The old man threatened him with his life. He tried to scare Uncle Seth by telling him his immortal soul would be damned to a lake of fire for all eternity. The more he yelled and complained the harder Uncle Seth kept on a’ sucking.”

Dad told me, it was true, Uncle Seth was a demon when it came to sucking dick. He said he was sure he could smell the brimstone sometimes when he shot a big load down his baby brother’s throat.  Then dad would throw back his handsome head and roar with laughter, sit there for a minute thinking about his beloved brother and burst into tears for their lost love.

The way dad tells the story I must be an awful lot like my Uncle Seth.  Dad says I’m the ‘spit’n image’ of his baby brother except for my dick.  Dad swears and be’damns I got my dick from my granddad. Dad laughingly told me, “Both Uncle Seth and you got the ‘piggy’ gene.”  I’ll admit, I do so love to chow down on my old man’s dick and he’s like that potato chip add on T.V., I can’t eat just one. I guess it was the same way with my Uncle Seth. He wasn’t just satisfied with sucking granddad off once.  I guess he wanted to make damn sure he got his point across. (no pun intended)

He kept him tied up half the night and sucked him off a couple more times before Bubba came to pick him up.   He wrote my dad a letter telling him all about it in minute detail; a ‘blow by blow’ description. (pun intended) Dad gave me Uncle Seth’s letter as a keep sake after he told me about my granddad.

* * * * * * *

Seth’s letter to his older brother Vince in Vietnam.
Langtry, Texas   August 3, 1966

Dear bubba,

I went by to see Francis the other day when dad sent me into town for feed.  She's really beginning to show, bubba. I have a feeling it's gonna' be a really big baby. I sure hope it's a boy so I can have me a nephew to spoil.  Francis looks so happy and pretty.  She read me your last letter to her.  We held hands and cried because we miss you so much.  I helped load some boxes on her old man's truck she was taking to the bus station to send to her aunt in California.  She's leaving the end of this week to go out there to live until you get back.  I'll miss her.  I think of Francis as family now.  I know you been sending her your letters to me;  however, after next week, send any letters to me to Bubba.  He'll get them to me.  Bubba's a good man. I know you love him as much as I do.

It seems like an eternity since you came home from boot camp and you and Francis got married. You looked so damn handsome in your uniform, and I was so damn proud to be my big bubba's best man.  Damn, bubba, I can't tell you how proud of you I am.  I'm just so sorry our old man wouldn't swallow his pride and come to your wedding.  I begged him to, Vince.  Got down on my knees, cried and begged the old son of a bitch.  Told him one day he'd be sorry he didn't.  He just ignored me.

I'm glad we had time to get away together.  I know you're life after Nam is going to be devoted to your family, and that's as it should be.  I know we talked, but bubba, I want you to know I ain't lost me a brother,  I've gained me a whole new family to love. Never fear you little brother's gonna' get jealous or feel left out.  I have no fear in my heart you'd ever leave me out of your greater love.  I know you too damn well.  It just would never happen.  You've proved it to me too many times.

Well, bubba,— you’re no longer alone in the world of the vanquished. Before you hear any rumors from anyone else, I want you to hear about it from me. One important thing I want to be clear about, Vince, is I love you, brother, very much; however, my love for you or the love you have for me wasn’t the reason I done what I done. What I did was carefully thought out, planned, and was done for my own selfish reasons.

Its been about six months since you were shipped to Nam, but a couple of days ago, it finally came to a head between our old man and me.  I guess it all came about because, in my heart, I know the feelings we have for each other are real, honest and form a deeper love than may be dreamed of in our dad’s philosophy of life. I don’t give a good Goddamn what he bases his crazed beliefs on, I know in my heart he’s wrong, and his narrow minded rigidity has made him a cold, empty, barren vessel afraid to love. He’s come to see any expression of love as an act of perversion as defined by his sick sense of family values. Of what virtue is his or any values if they have not love?  Love by any definition has to be love.

In many ways, brother, I guess we inherited his head-strong, stubborn streak. You and I know how stubborn we both can be; me much more than you. I suppose, I just wanted love from him the way we shared love and felt for each other. I finally realized it was never going to be. I made a decision, one I could live with, and knew I could no longer live with the frustration of having him in my life.  Vince, don’t get me wrong, it didn’t necessarily mean I wanted him to share physical love with me the way we did.  I was just so starved for any sign of affection from him I would’ve settled for his arm around my shoulders or a pat on the back telling me I was a good son, he loved me, and he was proud of me.  Do you ever remember him telling either of us he loved us?  I cant.

On the other hand, to be completely honest, you know me well enough to know I wouldn’t have said ‘no’ if he wanted physical love from me. You know how I used to talk to you about how attracted to  dad I was.  All the time you would tell me not to go there, our dad was not to be fucked with! (I don’t think you intended any pun by that, either.) You revealed to me your own attraction to him, but stressed he would never understand, tolerate or entertain any such ideas.  I have a hard head, but it finally sunk in,— you were right.

I guess I just expected more from him. I damn sure know I wanted and needed more from him than what we got. After he done what he done to you, I soon came to realize, I was never going to get any affection from him. I was never going to have even a modicum of the love I needed from him. I also realized I transferred all my need to love him on to you, and in effect, you became, not only my brother, but my surrogate dad as well.

As my older brother, you knew what I needed and what I was missing from dad.  I guess you figured you knew how much you missed those things, so you were going to make damn sure I got them. You were empathetic and understanding enough to provide  those things for me.  Hell, you lied so many times and told the old man you done something I done just so’s I wouldn’t have to suffer his wrath.  I don’t think I was a mean spirited kid, but I sure could get myself into some shit sometimes.

I saw the way other brothers treated their little brothers and knew you were different. I loved you so much for always being there for me at my worst times. You always treated me like I was more than just your little brother. You treated me like I was your buddy, your friend, but you never let me forget we were brothers, and as your little brother, I was the most important person in the world to you.

You told me I could share or tell you anything, but no matter how strange or bizarre I might think it was, it would never change the love you have for me. I know I could, and can, tell you anything.  I shared with you my attraction to our dad and you shared the same with me.  Now, I’m sharing this with you.  For your understanding, your love,  and many other things, my beloved brother, I will always love you and remain grateful to you ‘til I breath my last; and, hopefully beyond death.  I truly believe love transcends the grave.

And, now for the good part, my brother, depending on your point of view.  I realize there's a chance you might be disappointed with me for doing what I done, but knowing your sense of humor and belief in ultimate, cosmic retribution, I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive and be, perhaps, just a little bit proud of me. As for me, I have no regrets. For once, I got what I needed, even if I had to take it away from him. Oh, Hell, why whitewash it? I sole the love I needed from our father. Basically, Vince,— I raped our pa!

We were working hard, one, hot afternoon this past summer mucking out horse stalls in the barn.  We were both hot and sweaty from our work and the harder we worked the more I could smell his body.  Vince, I can’t describe the way his healthy, masculine smell made me feel.  The effect bypassed my brain completely and went directly to my dick. It didn’t collect two hundred dollars for passing ‘Go’ on the way, neither!

We finished and dad went in to clean up leaving me to put the tools away, feed and water the ponies, and close up the barn.  After feeding and watering all the stock I sat on a bail of hay, got my bandana out of my pocket, took my hat off and wiped my face.  I was filthy, but I didn’t care.  I smelled wonderful, and I could still smell dad’s presence all around me. It was overpowering.  Other than you, I think it was the strongest sexual feeling I experienced, and I think what made it so exciting was the idea it was forbidden.  I couldn’t have him.  Or could I?  Was this a metaphor?  Was my dad the forbidden fruit the bible speaks of?

I sat there with a roaring hard-on for a few minute thinking about things. I thought about you being over there; how mean dad was to you, and how much I miss you.  I thought about how lonely and frustrated I was without you. Bubba let me lean on him some, but it just ain’t the same as having my big bubba’s love. Then, I got to thinking about how selfish dad was with his love and how if anyone was going to love me, I had to do it myself.  So I pulled out my dick, and like so many times before, began to jack off.

Something clicked in my brain, Vince.  It was as if a voice came to me and said, “It’s always going to be like this the rest of your life. Except for your brother, you’ll always be alone if you have your dad in your life. He will never let go of you nor will he ever allow you to be yourself and love as your brother taught you.  He knows not love.  

He has never loved himself and has little or no concept how to love others.  Better to take love from him, and in the process, no matter how he might respond, show him your deepest need to love him.  Don’t be afraid of him or how he might respond. For now, it’s enough for you to take what he steadfastly refuses to give.  One day, he may come to see your actions were as much for him as they were for you.

You know how he will react.  Hold your head high and accept his wrath with maturity and dignity.  Neither apologize for your actions nor ask his forgiveness. Give neither credence nor dignity to his accusations by attempting to argue with him.  You will not win.  Remember the old saying, ‘There is no man so blind as he who will not see, nor any man so deaf as he who will not hear!

He will simply rationalize your attempt to show him love as coming from a sick, perverted mind; the very depths of demonic possession.  He will never accept, until perhaps later, your actions had any direct bearing on his actions or lack thereof.  Even though he may even actually enjoy your expression of love he will never allow himself to admit or accept it.  However, I will promise you, he will never forget it!” With that I returned my dick to my Wranglers and knew what I had to do.

I returned to the house with a couple of my ropes. I new exactly what I was going to do and how.  It all played out in my mind like a movie.  I went to his room and found him getting ready for his shower.  He looked at me with the meanest look that I should dare invade his privacy. He didn’t have a stitch on.  He was buck-ass naked. I can’t ever remember seeing our dad naked before that night, can you?

Damnation, brother, our old man’s got a cock on him bigger’n you and me put together and neither one of us ain’t exactly what chud’ call small.  Dad is hung just slightly smaller than a brama bull; however, I think his balls might be just as big or maybe even a little bigger. I couldn’t help lick my lips when I saw his dick, neither.  My mouth started watering and I knew he saw my look of lust for him.

“What’s wrong, boy? What the Hell you doing coming in my bedroom without knocking first? Ain’t cleaned myself!  Ain’t dressed yet, neither! Ain’t got no clothes on!  Get chur’ ass out a’ here.— NOW,— boy!  I’ll deal with you later.” He barked at me.

Any other time I would’ve jumped at one of his commands.  Now, his indignation just seemed amusing and out of place at the moment.

“Your shower can wait, old man. ‘Sides,” I told him, “I want you a little dirty.” I barked back at him.

I just smiled at him, took my rope, tossed it around him and pulled it tight. I guess he just never should’ve taught us to be cowboys.  He couldn’t move his arms, I quickly looped it around him a couple more times before I approached him and pushed him down across his bed.  He was cursing like a drunken sailor and flailing about with his legs trying to get on his feet.  I took my second rope and looped it around his feet and cinched them together tight.

“What the Hell you think you’re doing, boy?  Why,— I’ll bust your butt for this!  You won’t be able to sit down to eat for a week or more when I get through with you! How dare you do this to your father!”

I didn’t respond, I just whipped out a long strand of latigo from my back pocket and bound his feet tight.  I took another and bound his hands behind his back.  I took a third, pulled his legs up behind him and bound them to his hands.  Basically, I roped and hog tied our old man.  He was cursing at me like I was Satan himself and all his religion was going to save him from what fate he could only imagine.

I looked in his dresser and found a couple of clean bandanas.  His ranting and raving reached a fevered pitch I didn’t want to listen to anymore.  I sat beside him on the bed and laid my hand gently on his hip.  He was still foaming at the mouth for me to release him.

“Shuuuu! Listen to me for a minute, Dad!  I mean you no harm and what I’ve done is as much for you as for me.”  

He started in again.  He made it clear he wasn’t going to listen to a word I had to say.

“Goddamn it, old man!  I done told ju’ once to shut up and listen to me. I ain’t a’ gonna’ tell you again!  Now!  Shut, the fuck, up and listen to me for a minute; then, you can rant and rave all you like!  Ain’t a’ gonna’ do you no good, no how!” I yelled at him at the top of my voice with more than a little anger.

He finally decided he better shut up and listen to what I had to say.

“Now, I have some things to do.  We can do this easy or I can make it hard for you.  It’s up to you.  If you continue mouthing off I’m gonna’ gag you so’s I don’t have to listen to an endless stream of your perverted religious crap.  Whatever God or demon you pray to ain’t a’ gonna’ save you from my love.”

He glared at me with a dumbfounded look on his face from the dichotomy of my words. I stopped to let what I said sink in. I guess he was so accustomed to me jumping at his every command he thought he could buffalo me and make me do it now.

“You listen to me, boy!  The minute I get loose, I’m call’n the sheriff to come out here and arrest your ass.  I’m gonna’ have your butt locked away in the Gatesville reformatory for boys. That’s where you belong.  Maybe they can teach you some respect.”

“Okay, Dad, that’s enough!  I warned you.”

With that, I took one of the bandanas, and wadded it up in my hand.  When he started in again, I swiftly moved it to his mouth and firmly plugged it.  I took another piece of latigo and tied the gag in place behind his head.  Even with his mouth tightly gaged, he wouldn’t stop trying to rave. I reached over and kissed him gently and lovingly on his forehead.  He stopped immediately and I saw a look in his eyes of puzzlement, doubt and bewilderment.  He knew I’d won and he was, for all practical purposes, helpless and under my control.

Guess what, brother?  For all his protesting and threats his ole dick was as hard as a raging, horny, slobbering bull in a pasture of fresh heifers.  Go figure?  I wasn’t going to let that fact pass him by. I wanted to make it perfectly clear I was in charge and I knew he was, for whatever reason, turned on by it.  I held his gaze with my eyes as I slowly moved to his engorged dick.

I looked him dead on in his eyes as I bent forward, blew my breath across it, then lovingly kissed the head of his exposed cock.  I still held his gaze as I slipped my tongue into his piss slit and sucked up some of his pre-come drooling from it.  Then I ran my tongue around and under his tight foreskin and cleaned him good.  His eyes got bigger and bigger and he whole body shuddered. I raised myself from him still holding his gaze and smiled.

“Ummm,— Damn, Dad!  Your juices and bits under your skin are sooo good.  Best I ever tasted, Sir.  Gonna’ get me some more of that in a few minutes, but first I gotta’ go clean myself.  I can’t offer myself to my old man with a dirty body. It would be down right disrespectful.”

He glared at me, but I smiled back, winked and started to remove my clothes in front of him.  I took my time and made it into a strip show for our old man.  I didn’t do no sexy dancing. I just wanted him to see me for who I was, fully naked in front of him.  It must have worked.  His hard dick never went down the whole time. When I finished I stood there in front of him and made him watch as I played with myself until I was roaring hard.

“Try’n relax, Dad.” I told him, “I’m gonna’ go clean myself and I’ll be back as soon as I can.”  

I knew he was secure.  I made sure of that when I tied him.  I had no fear of him getting loose.  I went to my room and got my bag you taught me to use to clean myself and went to his bathroom.  I cleaned myself completely, but I didn’t use any soap.  I wanted the natural smell of my body to stay with him as a memory.  I wanted it to haunt him the rest of his days.  The voice in my head told me he would remember my smell from that night and experience it again one day in a very powerful way. When I returned I removed his gag.

“Now that you know I’m serious, Dad, will you be quiet, cooperate and allow me to do what I have to do?  I promise, you won’t be harmed in anyway.”

His attitude softened somewhat, but he still wanted to talk. Now, he wanted to reason with me.

“Son,— please,— you don’t wanna’ do this.  Whatever you have in mind, I know I ain’t gonna’ like it.  Please,— just let me up.  You’ve made your point, and I got to think’n, maybe I haven’t been as right with you and your bother as I might have been.  I’ll try to make it up to you, but if you go through with this you will be as dead to me as your shameful brother.”

“Only you are ashamed of my brother, Dad.  I’m certainly not ashamed of Vince.  How can you be ashamed of someone for trying to show his brother love? Him and Bubba weren’t hurt’n no one else.  Just because you condemn it, don’t make it so. Don’t bother with your arguments, Dad.  I know them all by heart and they don’t wash. They just ain’t so!

I love my brother, and he taught me about love.  Something you never bothered to do. Kinda glad you didn’t or I’d be as fucked up and empty as you are.  Vince taught me what love is. He taught me how to give and receive love.  You were always too damn busy preaching your own personal gospel of fear and hatred. I’m sorry, Dad, I just can’t live like that anymore.  I don’t want to live in fear of God, you or any other man for that matter.  I want, with all my heart, to love and respect you as a son should his father; however, you have never allowed either of your sons to show you love, and you’ve never, in all the years I’ve been your son, ever once, told me you loved me, I was a good boy,  or you were proud of me.

Now,— since you don’t choose to give me your love, I’m going to, at least for a while, take what I need, and I’m going to try to give you mine. You may think what you please as long as you’re quiet about it. At this point I could care less about your perverse beliefs and your gospel of fear and hate.  What has it ever gotten you, anyway, but regrets and loneliness?  How much will you pay before you give up such nonsense, learn the true meaning of Christ teachings, and what God truly means for us comes from the love in your heart. I can only pray you’re not such a big fool you miss the point in what I hope to accomplish here this evening.”

I watched his eyes flare in anger.

“I’d be careful if’n I was you how you talk about Jesus and our Lord.  You all ready are in danger of the fires of Hell by looking upon your father’s nakedness.”

“I’m sure you probably wish that for me right now, Dad; however, let me say, if’n it’s so, just being able to kiss the head of the dick that belongs to the man who made me, whom I’ve admired and loved so long is gonna’ be worth it.  I dreamed so many nights of holding you in my arms and telling you how much I love you. If I’m to burn forever in a lake of fire at least I’ll have the memory of making love to you this evening to quench my burning thirst for the love you could’ve but never chose to give me.”

“Son, be reasonable.  Listen to me. I never could’ve loved you the way your brother did.  I just ain’t that way. I never was very good at telling anyone I loved them.  Hell, I think I only ever told your ma I loved her a couple of times, but she knew it.”

“Maybe she didn’t.  I’ve heard it said she died young of a broken heart within a loveless marriage.  J’ever think maybe you could’ve lightened her burden just a little by telling her you loved her?  You wouldn’t be laying here right now if’n you’d only told me once in a while you cared about me. What you did to my brother is reprehensible.  I’ll never forgive you for that. You don’t care about him or you never would’ve did what you done to him.  What is there to make me think you feel any more for me?  You don’t care about me!  All your threats and thump’n your bible is the surest way to watch my back as I walk out of your God forsaken life.”

“Watch your mouth, boy! My God would never forsake me!”

I laughed at him.

“He all ready has! Think about it, old man, if God is love, as you’ve told me a hundred times, he sure as Hell has forsaken you.  You have no love in your heart or your miserable life.  You don’t love anyone but yourself! However, maybe that’s a good thing because after this evening you won’t have anyone to love you in return.  You can wallow in your own self-love.  I have a feeling you’re gonna’ be loving solo for a long time to come.  No love, by your own definition, means no God!  I’d say you’re shit out of luck in the God department, too.”   

I undid his feet one at a time.  I remembered how hot our old man looked in his cowboy boots and got his best, Sunday-go-to-meet’n pair I used to keep cleaned and shined for him out of his closet. I found a clean pair of his socks in his drawer, put them on and then pulled his big boot on afterward. I secured his left boot and then his left hand to the head.  I repeated the action for his right side until I had him spread-eagle on his back with his huge cock sticking straight up like tent pole.

The whole time I was stretching him out he never said a word. I stepped back to admire my work and smiled at him. Damn, bubba, our old man looked hot just laying there naked with only his big ole boots on!  I kept pinching my butt to make sure I wasn’t having a wet dream. He just continued to glare at me; however, now, I saw a glint of fear in his eyes.

I reached for the light switch and flipped it off. It was dark in the room except for the moonlight coming though the open windows and a faint trail of light coming from his bathroom.  There was plenty ambient light for me to see everything. I slowly crawled onto his bed with him.  I was going to take it slow.  I wanted to enjoy and savor the only time with my old man I figured I’d ever have. Whether he enjoyed it or not, I didn’t give a shit. I was going to make it memorable for me.  

I gently laid my head upon his huge chest, put one of my arms under him and my other over him to hold him.  Then I moved my body close to his so my cock would be pressing into his side.  I could feel his whole body go rigid as I got comfortable holding him.  How cold and rejecting, I thought, to respond to your own flesh and blood that way.  I just lay there, relaxing, breathed deeply, and let out a contented sigh.  It was a message to him, I found great pleasure and comfort holding him close to me. My message wasn’t missed.  After a few minutes, he began to relax having me hold him like I was. His erection even got harder.

“Thanks, Dad.”  I spoke softly. I didn’t think he would respond, but he did.

“What the Hell for! I ain’t got no choice in the matter as I sees it.”

“You’re right,— you don’t, but your body tells me a lot more’n your religiously clouded mind would ever allow you to say to me.”

“Bullshit!” was his response of choice.

“Maybe so, but right now,— I’ve got my arms full of it.”  I chuckled as I tickled him.  I even got a smirk of a smile out of him.

I lay there for a few more minutes breathing in his essence.  He still smelled of his strong, masculine scent.  It was stronger than usual because of working all afternoon in the heat.  He was like inhaling a sexual experience.  He smelled so damn good, Vince, I wanted to eat him, bite by bite. Is part of passion the urge to consume the object of our love?  God knows I feasted on your body so many times I began to think of you as my personal Eucharist; my last supper.  However, within the same concept the thought of cannibalism entered my head I opted for sucking all the good flavors from his body.

I saw his left nipple was getting hard.  I’m sure it wasn’t standing that high before I laid my head on his chest.  I moved my head slightly and flicked out my tongue at it.  As soon as my tongue made contact, dad winced.  Bingo!  I knew his tits were sensitive.  Vince, did you ever get to see our dad’s tits?  Damn, they’re big.  They are a perfect compliment to his cock. His tits are huge.  They gotta’ be two inches across and dark brown in color.  The tit part, in the middle, sticks out from his chest at least five-eights of an inch and as much as three-quarters of an inch when erect.  Yes, they do get erect and hard; just like his dick.

I moved my head up and began to gently suck on his tit. He never said a word, but his breathing began to change.  He wasn’t quite so hyper as he was. The more I sucked and gently chewed on his tit the bigger his cock grew until it was almost at its fullest. Vince, I swear to God, our dad has the biggest damn dick on a man I’ve ever did see in my life. If’n I didn’t know better, I’d swear he ain’t human.  I didn’t think it could grow any bigger, but hold on, big brother, it did!

 While I was sucking his beautiful tit I got me a good whiff of his armpits and almost reached an orgasm.  Remember that small brown bottle of that yellow liquid stuff you and I played around with one summer.  You called it ‘poppers’ or something like that.  The smell of his pit had the same damn effect on me.  It almost blew my head off.  I knew I had to taste them; however, I didn’t want to cheat dad’s other tit. I ran my tongue across his hairy chest to his other tit.  Still, no comment from dad.  I went to work on his right tit, licking, sucking and gently chewing until I sucked most of the good flavors out and it was erect as his other.  I kept gently rubbing his other tit with my left hand and it got harder and harder.

I couldn’t stay away from his pits any longer.  I buried my face in his right pit and just lay there for a while inhaling his essence.  Damn, Vince, our old man has a wonderfully powerful male odor.  My dick was raging hard and I moved closer to him so he could feel my erection against his body. This time he didn’t tense up, but he did speak to me.

“You’re sick, boy. Let me help you.  Release me and we’ll get you some help.”   

I wasn’t about to let him spoil my joy in being close to him.

“Is it sick to want love from your dad who has starved you of his love all your life? Maybe;— however, if I'm sick, whose fault is it? If you don’t show your child the proper love he needs;  which, as I see it, is any father's responsibility, and he becomes sick because of your inaction, who then, is the sicker?  Furthermore, if you think enjoying smelling the essence of your body is sick, wait’ll you get a’ load of what I’m gonna’ do next.”

I didn’t wait for a response, I just dived into his pit and started licking, sucking and cleaning for all I was worth making ‘yummy’ sounds when I’d get a particularly strong taste.  I ‘ummed’ and ‘ooohed’ until I got every good flavor I could from his right pit.  Then, I moved to his left one and proceeded to lavish it with my tongue and attention.  The whole time I was eating his pits I continued rubbing his swollen and sensitive tits.

When I sucked all the flavor out of his other pit I resumed my position next to him with my arms around him and once again held him close. I reached up and kissed him on his cheek.  He tried to pull away, but he wasn’t quick enough.

“I’ll warn you next time before I try’n steal a kiss, Dad, so your can get ready to reject my love for you again.  God forbid you show your boy the slightest encouragement for his honest attentions towards you. Somehow, I seriously doubt God would forbid or condemn you for returning a little of you son’s affection.”

“Honest, Hell! You call this honest? How honest are your intentions when you have me at your mercy?”

“Honest enough to take from you what should’ve been freely given all these years. The honesty of not letting you make me ashamed of showing my love for you the way I choose.  Would you wish me to take out my honest, righteous indignation and anger for your inability to show me love all these years and beat the shit out of you?  Believe me, in a moment of anger, the thought crossed my mind; but, you don’t do that sort of thing to someone you truly love.  Just like you don’t cut someone out of your life forever because they don’t share your sick, perverted beliefs. Anger and hate ain’t the answer, Dad.  Love is the answer. That’s what Jesus tried to tell folks, but you won’t listen to him.”

“You know nothing about the bible, boy!  The Devil has corrupted your mind.  You speak with his voice now.  There is nothing I can do for you unless you renounce him, release me, we’ll pray for the forgiveness of your sins against your father, and I’ll take you to a minister who will help you cast off these perversions.”

“Nope! Thanks for the offer, Dad, but after tonight you won't ever see me again.  I’m not really giving you the option of rejecting me like you did my brother. I’m rejecting you. I’m walking out of your sick life, and I have no plans to return. I would never be foolish enough to contemplate trying to seek your love again.  I never got it all these years,  what makes me think you 'd ever change enough to show me any now?  Why would I want to let you put me through any more frustration or pain always wondering, hoping, praying you'll finally wake up and love me?  So, there’s really no need for your prayers or the services of your minister. Why would I want to live in your miserable world anymore? You have no love in you.  You can't love.  You're an empty, barren wasteland.  You're miserable.  Misery has become your happiness. That's all you're comfortable with, and you want to make damn sure everyone around you shares in your misery.  The Devil has more than your words, Dad,— he has your soul.”
He didn’t respond, but I figured I’d rested enough.  I moved down between his legs and began to clean between his powerful thighs with my tongue.  His body smells were as strong and powerful as he is.  I was so glad I intercepted him before he took his shower.  His fragrance and the taste from his body was like ambrosia to me.  I licked and cleaned beneath his bull balls and finally took one completely in my mouth to suck on.  I heard him wince but he didn’t say anything.  I rolled his testicle around in my mouth.  I released it and began to kiss and make love to his other ball.  Finally I took it into my mouth and teased it around as well.  I closed my teeth gently around it and pulled on it stretching it away from his body.  He went rigid again somewhat apprehensive I suppose; however, I immediately released my pressure and let his ball slip from my mouth.

Finally I moved further down between his legs and could smell the Earthy fragrance of his hole.  I was reeling with the emotions and smells of our father’s body.  I was so close to the prize I’d jack off so many nights dreaming of tasting.  I slowly licked down and I think he realized what I planned to do.

“Seth, my son,— please,— don’t do this.”

“I have to, Dad.  I have to show you how much I love you. Greater love hath no son than he who would clean and make love to his father’s hole.”  I told him, not including the chapter and verse from the gospel according to Seth.

I didn’t wait to explain further or for a comment. I plunged into his depths and began to tongue his sweet hole. Vince, nothing could’ve prepared me for the ecstacy of eating our old man’s hole.  I held my lips strong against his hole and kissed him like I’d make love to a lover.  He couldn’t help but respond and it almost felt like he was trying to kiss me back with his muscle.  It only made me respond more passionately. I kissed, licked and cleaned all around his hole and then plunged my tongue as deeply into him as I could to suck out all his Earthy flavors.  I must have sucked on his hole for thirty minutes or more.  I didn’t stop until I felt him writhing from the assault on his ass by my wet and slippery tongue.  He would never shout any words of encouragement to me, but I didn’t have to ask if he was enjoying my attentions.  He whole body became a litmus; like a dip stick on crank case. I finally had my fill and moved back up to hold him again and relax.  He was unusually quite, but he was also considerably more relaxed.  He opened his mouth to say something, but I stopped him.

“Don’t, Dad.  Don’t say anything just yet.  Please,— don’t spoil this moment for me.  It was so wonderful being able to be that intimate with you, I just don’t care to hear anything negative you have to say. To me what I just did was as scared and holy to me as any scripture you might think to quote. It’s too bad I have to go to such extreme means to show you how much I truly love you; however, I don’t see that as my fault.”  

He didn’t try to say any more.

I moved between his legs again, but this time, I started making love to his enormous cock.  I kissed, licked and cleaned every inch of him. I didn’t look directly at him, but could see him studying me as I made love to his penis.  Finally I took him in my mouth and tried to take as much of him as I could.  I couldn’t take much because of his size; however, I remember some of the tricks you taught me, and I began to relax my throat. The next thing I knew I was deep fucking my throat with his big dick and it was taking its toll on our dad.  He was beginning to writhe under me moaning a groaning.  It was beginning to feel a little more than just good to him.  I knew he was getting close. I grabbed his testicles with my right hand and began to pull them away from his body, and that’s all it took.  I made one huge lung and almost touched his belly with my nose when I heard him call to me.

“Seth,— son,— I can’t hold it no more, boy.  I’m a’ gonna’ shoot in your mouth!  Oh, God,— forgive my son!  He knows not what he does!”

He erupted in my throat so much his come was spurting out my nose.  I swallowed and swallowed and still he kept coming.  I moved back to the bulbous head of his penis to receive the final few volleys of his male fluid.  He tasted more wonderful than I could ever imagine, brother. I cleaned him up good with my tongue.  I cleaned out from under his considerable foreskin and got all his goodness from there. I crawled back up to hold him again.  I once again took a deep breath and let it out with a contented sigh.  

“Thanks, Dad.”  I kissed him on his neck.

“Are you all right, boy?”  He asked in a concerned tone.

“Couldn’t be better, Dad.” I smiled at him. “You taste much better than I imagined.  I will remember your fine taste, the essence of your body, the seed that gave life to me’n my brother, the rest of my life.  I’ll jack off many times thinking about how much I enjoyed pleasuring you this evening.”  

Dad was quiet for a long while, but I could feel his conflicting thoughts going around in his head.  How could anything that felt that good to him be so wrong?  Was his boy really trying to show him a greater love?  No!  It was the work of the Devil and he’s controlling my boy.  End of worry!  No need to ponder further.

“Son, I know you mean well,— but,”

“Shut up, Dad!” I barked at him. “Did I make you feel good, pa?” I asked him more gently.

“It always feels good to ejaculate my sperm.”

“That ain’t what I asked you, Dad.”

He refused to answer my question.  There was no breaking down his barriers, and I had only one trick left in my bag.  My voice told me beyond kissing and cleaning dad’s hole not to violate him there. That would leave him feeling less than a man in his own eyes and that wasn’t my purpose for the evening. My dad was my ideal of what a man should be, and I worshiped him.  I wouldn’t consider defiling my God.  My purpose was to offer him pleasure through my physical love for him. It would be different if it was consensual; however, I had him at my advantage.  I couldn’t do that to our old man.

“Are you finished with me?”  He asked.

“Did mom ever ask YOU that question, Dad?"  I let that rest with him for a moment. I felt his icy silence and knew I made my point. "Not quite, Dad.  I have a big finale planned.”

“You ain’t a’ planning on,— .”  His voice trailed off in fear. Afraid to even complete his sentence.

“Of course not, Dad.  I’m not a barbarian.  I couldn’t do that to you, for cries sake, you’re my dad; my father.  My love for you boarders on worship, Dad, and I certainly would never consider defiling someone I love as much as you. I would never disrespect you in such a way. I realize you’ve not consented to any of this, but that would be going beyond the realm of human decency.  However,— to take you into my body would be, for me at least,  a supreme act of giving.”

“Son, let it end here.  All right,— if you must hear it, I love you.  It felt wonderful when you sucked me off. It was wrong, but to deny it felt wonderful would be as much a sin as you sucking me off.  Damn, boy, what more do you want from me?”

“Nothing really, Dad. I only want to give to you. You always drilled it into us boys,—  it's only by giving of one's self that one receives love in return.  I’ve gotten more love from you this evening than I ever have.  For that,— I’m truly grateful.  I guess you might say, I’m stocking up, Dad, for the long, lonely winter of my life without you.”

“Seth,— we can work this out, Son.  Nothing you’ve done to me this evening has really been that bad I couldn’t overlook if you work with me and seek help.  It’s certainly nothing I would’ve elected to engage in, but it weren’t that bad. Stop now, Son, and I’ll forget the whole thing. You won’t have to leave, Son. I won’t force you to pray or see the minister.  I ain’t gonna’ put you in Gatesville.  That was all anger talking.  Please, Son. I see what you’ve been trying to prove to me.  I’d have to be a stone not to feel something even though I don’t approve of your methods. Give me another chance. Seth, I’m a' begging you, boy!  Ain't never begged no man in my life for anything, Son,— but I’m a' begging you now.”

“I think that’s the first time you’ve ever really meant anything you’ve said to me, Dad.  I appreciate your words.  I love you for them, but it’s too late for us.  You see, Dad, I’ve all ready made my choice for my life, and it doesn’t include you. For that, and only that, I’m truly sorry. To leave someone behind I love as much as you is like cutting my heart out; but, at least, I'll have my brother's love to comfort me.  I can always count on my brother's love.  His love is as constant as the rain.”

I moved between his legs again. I was so amazed, Vince, his dick sprang to life immediately like it had its own brain and knew what I was about to do.  I thoroughly lubricated my ass before I came to his bed so I was ready.  He was so large though, I figured I needed extra for his cock.  I grabbed my tube of KY and began to apply it generously to his dick.  He moaned and groaned knowing what was coming, but his cock only continued to grow.  I finally saw our dad’s penis completely engorged, and it was, indeed, a sight to behold. It was unbelievable.  I didn’t know if I could take him.  In my mind, I began to thank you, big brother, for all the times you took me and taught me how to relax.  After you left, I asked Bubba to take me one night, and you know how big he is.  For a big man,  Bubba's the soul of gentleness and, other than you big brother,  gave me one of the sweetest fuckings of my young life.

I finished lubricating dad’s shaft and positioned myself over and in front of his dick.  I grabbed him and placed his huge head against my sphincter.  With one swift lunge backward I took the large head of his dick.  I heard our dad gasp at the feeling.  I took a little more until I could feel him hit my prostate.  It was easy going from there, brother.  I sat right down on the rest of him,— but I sensed something was wrong. I looked at dad and saw tears coming from the corners of his eyes.

“Oh, my God!”  I exclaimed. “Did I hurt you, Dad?”

He didn’t answer for a minute as his jaw dropped opened as if to speak.  He took a deep breath before answering.

“No, Son, I’m all right.  I just shot my load in your ass.  Seth, this isn’t right,— but Son,— I can understand the temptation. That has to be one of the best feelings I’ve ever experienced in my life. Are you all right, Son? I’m pretty big. Are you hurting?”

“No, Dad. I cleaned myself completely before I came to your bed. There is nothing inside me competing for space with your dick.  You won’t be dirty when I pull off of you.”  I took a good long stroke on his cock and let out a groan of pleasure.”

“Oh, Seth,— oh, Son!  Does my penis feel good inside you, boy?”

“You can’t imagine how good you feel to me, Dad.”

I stayed on him for a good while, but he never lost his erection.  He stayed hard the whole time.

“Dad, you’ve got one more good one in you and I want it.  I’m going to fuck it out of you with my ass.”

“Seth,— my handsome boy,— I’m so big.  I’m afraid you’ll hurt yourself.  That was enough, boy. I’m satisfied you love me. You could ruin yourself, Son.”

“I’ve done this many times before, Dad.  Lay back, relax and let your boy pleasure you.”

I started in to ride him like a bull rider on a Sunday best critter.  I would take slow long strokes and then several rhythmic shorter strokes.  Dad was no longer being the cold, distant observer.  He was gasping for breath, moaning and groaning as much as I was. His hips began to involuntarily buck to met my thrust. I got a strong, steady, powerful stroke going and knew he was clenching his teeth from the shear ecstacy of the feeling.  I set in a steady, unremitting pace with a good lengthy stroke I though would get him off.  I continued that relentlessly until I heard dad’s soft voice.

“A little shorter stroke, Son. A bit faster.”

I smiled to myself and immediately accommodated his request. I knew I found his exact stroke when I saw a huge satisfied smile come across his face and he started to drool saliva from the corners of his mouth.  Finally, he began moving his head back and forth and his saliva was being slung everywhere. His hips began to meet my strokes with a frenzy like he couldn’t get enough of his giant dick inside me. We became locked together for a single purpose to achieve the passion of one Hell of a butt busting climax. I certainly wasn’t disappointed in our old man.  Vince, it had to be one of the hottest sexual moments I ever experienced.  Dad screamed out, and I knew I had him. I didn’t slack off but continued my fucking assault on his dick.  He never once wavered in his determination to reach his goal of climax.

“I’m coming, Seth! You got me, Son!  Rode me down hard, boy!  Oh,— oh,— ho, my God!  Oh, God forgive me, but it feels so good!  Seth,— my beautiful boy! Come to me! Give me your love, boy!”

I couldn’t figure out what he meant until I leaned over to look into his eyes as I continued to fuck him with my ass.  His mouth opened to me and my heart leapt to my throat.  My dad was asking me to kiss him. I gently place my mouth on his and he sucked my tongue into his mouth.  I began to slow my fucking because I felt his dick shooting volley after volley into my butt. The more he kissed me the more he shot into my ass.  Here I was,— for the first time in my life kissing my own dad. In all my years as his son, we never kissed once until that night. It was our first kiss; it was also our last. I knew I would never see him again. I kept him inside me until I began to feel him soften and I pulled off him.  He was babbling about how amazing it was and while it was a crime against God and nature he could understand how it might appeal to some.

I saw lights from a pickup truck coming down our long gravel road towards the house.  I knew it was Bubba come to pick me up.  I told him about midnight and he was right on time. I left him alone in his room and went to mine to put my clothes on I’d laid out earlier.  I left everything there. I didn’t want anything he ever gave me.  I came down the stairs to his room again.  I untied dad without a word of apology or regret.  I handed him his robe and turned to walk away. I said nothing to him as I walked to the door.  He didn’t speak to me until I almost reach the threshold.

“Seth,— Son,—.”

I turned to look at him, to marvel one last time at his masculine beauty as he stood there only in his boots. For some strange reason he didn’t bother to put his robe on.  He had thrown it on his bed.  He looked like a God to me, Vince. My heart leapt to my throat again, and I wanted to run and kneel at his feet to worship him one last time; however, I didn’t.  I knew this God, this man, our father standing before me in all his glory, whom I loved beyond measure, I had to walk away from.

“Goodbye, pa,— I’ll always love you.”

“Seth, don’t go.  Please, Son.  I understand what you were trying to tell me.  I can change, Son.  I'll meet you halfway.”

“Bye, pop.”  I choked out, turned and walked to the porch where Bubba was waiting.  It was the hardest damn thing I ever done in my life, Vince.  Of course, Dad had to have the last word.  He ran to the door, still naked except for his boots, he flung open the screen door and yelled at me with all the anger in his heart.

“If you leave now, boy, don’t ever darken my door again!”
“On down the road, Dad. I love you.”  

I got into Bubba’s truck.  He put his hand on my leg and looked at me with sadness in his eyes. He knew.  Bubba ain’t the brightest penny in the jar, but he sure as Hell can be an understanding friend when you need one.  

“Ready, little buddy?”

“I’m ready, Bubba.  Thanks.”  And we were gone.

Like you, big brother, I joined the Marines two days ago and I’m being sent to Camp Pendleton.  I’ve been staying with Bubba and his family for a few days and he’s taking me to the airport in the morning. This is the last letter you’ll get from me before boot camp.  I won’t promise, but I’ll try to write from Pendleton.

I never kept your new name or address around the house so dad has no idea where you are or how to find you.  I’m hoping when I get back from Nam I can change my name to be the same as yours, so we will always be brothers. I love you so much, Vince.  If any of this letter bothers you, I apologize. It was never my intention to hurt you.  It was only something else I wanted to share with my big brother.

I will always love you, Vince,


I must have read Uncle Seth’s letter a hundred times or more and had to jack off every damn time because it was so hot.  That wasn’t the only reason I found it moving.  It was also because of the pent up love and frustration he had for his dad and the obvious love that poured forth from his words to my dad.

To add insult to injury and to his personal horror, the old man found it to be the most sexually exciting thing that ever happened to him.  He would never admit it, but deep down inside, he knew he enjoyed the feeling. He awoke to the sensuality of having  his seed that created his beautiful sons being sucked out of him and greedily consumed by his youngest boy. Only then, did he take Uncle Seth seriously and  banished him from his life with instructions for him to never darken his door again.  However, this time it wasn’t with such great bravado and religious posing as he’d done with my dad.  Curtis Langtry had lost everything.  He lost his world for his unbending, rigid piety.  Where was his God now, when he most needed comfort?  His answer was blowing in the wind.

End of Chapter 2 ~ Texas Longhorns
Copyright 2004/2005 ~ Waddie Greywolf
All rights reserved ~
Mail to: waddiebear@yahoo.com