my grandfather, was the nephew of Lillie Langtry of Judge Roy
Bean fame, the hanging judge of Langtry, Texas. While they never
met when he was alive, ole Roy fell in love with a picture of her
someone gave him. He built a theater in her honor and change the
name of the town he lived in to Langtry. When he died he willed her one
of his six-shooters that’s still in the Langtry museum in New
Jersey. She was a beautiful, talented woman with dark violet eyes
who captured the hearts of Europeans as well as her own
countrymen. She was mistress to Edward VII for many years and was
sometimes known as ‘The Jersey Lily.’
great plans for his oldest son. He taught him all he knew about being a
cowboy. He taught him to rope and ride at an early age. My dad,
Vincent, or Vince, was a damn good cowboy, too. Granddad was
bringing his youngest boy, Seth Quee, along as well, but Seth just
didn’t have the same natural talent for roping as his older brother
Vincent. Naturally, granddad was interested in winning and would,
most times, partner with his boy Vince. They won a lot and granddad was
a proud man.
You might think
showing one boy favoritism by pushing him harder in a sport than
another would be cause for major sibling rivalry. Not so with Vince and
Seth. Vince was a sensitive young man and could see how it effected his
younger brother. Vincent was also wise beyond his years.
Many said he had the soul of an old man behind his eyes. He would
compensate by spending as much time with his younger brother as he
could, practicing roping or anything Seth chose to do.
his little brother. He would never argue with him and if Vince
had something Seth wanted he would simply give it to him; no questions
ask. Curtis would marvel at the two boys bond with each other and
bragged his boys never fought. Of course they never fought, they
were too busy making love to each other. The boys developed a bond
between them early on that transcended and compensated for the love
they didn’t receive from their father. Sibling rivalry became
sibling revelry; the very definition of incest.
might have had a great, deep love for his boys he was like so many
western men and was afraid to show any overt signs of affection toward
them. There was never a mention of being proud of them, a pat on
the back for a job well done, nor a quite moment between them when he
might simply tell them he loved them. Men just didn’t tell other
men they loved them!
natchrul!” Curtis would claim.
The boys grew up
never knowing exactly what their dad thought of them, and so, came to
depend on each other for the love and affection they weren’t getting
from him. Their mom died in child birth having Seth Quee and
Vincent was only two years old at the time. Neither boy could
even remember their mom. A spinster sister came to live with
Curtis Langtry to help take care of the boys until they were of an age
to take care of themselves. Aunt Gertie was the only mom they
was a, no nonsense, fundamentalist Christian, a rigid, upright,
stalwart, deacon of ‘The First Baptist Church of the Nazarine,” soldier
of the cross, who saw everything he perceived as wrong or evil in
the world fully supported by his religion’s warped and distorted views
of ‘God’s holy word.’ Moral issues and values were only as clearly
defined as the latest rabid sermon by the preacher who interpreted the
scriptures for the less holy, the less learned of his congregation,
from fear and loathing of his own repressed sexuality; backed up by a
goodly shovel-full of Hellfire and damnation rhetoric. A
God-awful, demonic brew.
Even though the
book of Revelations reads like a love letter from Charles Manson,
Curtis believed every word as gospel. If the bible said pluck out
thine eye or cut off thine own hand if it offends thee, according to my
dad, my granddad would. There were no gray areas. There was no
wiggle room. So it was, with him and his two boys. His two most
precious gifts a God might bestow upon a man, he cast away from him in
a moment of heated, rigid, false religious piety.
After dad got my
mom pregnant at sixteen and granddad caught him with Bubba Swanzey
sucking each other’s dicks in his barn he went ballistic. He told
my dad he wouldn’t be living under the same roof with ‘no Goddamned
sodomite’ and for his son to leave immediately. Dad hadn’t even
finished high school. He married my mother, joined the Marines
and was immediately shipped to Vietnam.
brother, my Uncle Seth, stuck up for my dad. He told my
grandfather he was being too hard on my dad, and if he couldn’t
understand the greater truth of Christ’s message, and find it in his
heart to forgive his brother, then he had to leave, too. Uncle
Seth explained to my granddad he was a bigger sodomite than my dad ever
thought he was. Uncle Seth told the old man he was the one who
talked my dad into sharing physical love with him.
Uncle Seth’s ultimatum. He probably figured he did wrong by my
dad, but he’d never admit it. Admitting you made a mistake or
might be wrong was a sign of weakness in a true western man; a chink in
the armor of a soldier of God. Unbeknownst to everyone, it damn
near ripped the old man’s guts out, but he knew in his heart it was
what God would’ve wanted him to do; however, whatever reward God
might have planned for him in a hereafter for denying his oldest son,
Curtis sure as Hell didn’t want to lose his youngest; his baby boy; his
last son. He thought Uncle Seth was bluffing; he was making it all up
to get his dad to reconsider;— until one night, granddad found himself
roped and hog tied, with Uncle Seth sucking his ole dick like a new
born calf who just found his momma’s teat.
When my dad
related the story, he told me, “Uncle Seth was a’ suck’n his dad’s cock
like a Hoover vacuum cleaner possessed with a demonic spirit. Uncle
Seth didn’t stop, neither, when his old man called him every dirty name
he could think of and then invented a couple. The old man
threatened him with his life. He tried to scare Uncle Seth by telling
him his immortal soul would be damned to a lake of fire for all
eternity. The more he yelled and complained the harder Uncle Seth kept
on a’ sucking.”
Dad told me, it
was true, Uncle Seth was a demon when it came to sucking dick. He said
he was sure he could smell the brimstone sometimes when he shot a big
load down his baby brother’s throat. Then dad would throw back
his handsome head and roar with laughter, sit there for a minute
thinking about his beloved brother and burst into tears for their lost
The way dad
tells the story I must be an awful lot like my Uncle Seth. Dad
says I’m the ‘spit’n image’ of his baby brother except for my
dick. Dad swears and be’damns I got my dick from my granddad. Dad
laughingly told me, “Both Uncle Seth and you got the ‘piggy’
gene.” I’ll admit, I do so love to chow down on my old man’s dick
and he’s like that potato chip add on T.V., I can’t eat just one. I
guess it was the same way with my Uncle Seth. He wasn’t just satisfied
with sucking granddad off once. I guess he wanted to make damn
sure he got his point across. (no pun intended)
He kept him tied
up half the night and sucked him off a couple more times before Bubba
came to pick him up. He wrote my dad a letter telling him
all about it in minute detail; a ‘blow by blow’ description. (pun
intended) Dad gave me Uncle Seth’s letter as a keep sake after he told
me about my granddad.
* * * * * * *
Seth’s letter to
his older brother Vince in Vietnam.
Texas August 3, 1966
I went by to see
Francis the other day when dad sent me into town for feed. She's
really beginning to show, bubba. I have a feeling it's gonna' be a
really big baby. I sure hope it's a boy so I can have me a nephew to
spoil. Francis looks so happy and pretty. She read me your
last letter to her. We held hands and cried because we miss you
so much. I helped load some boxes on her old man's truck she was
taking to the bus station to send to her aunt in California.
She's leaving the end of this week to go out there to live until you
get back. I'll miss her. I think of Francis as family
now. I know you been sending her your letters to me;
however, after next week, send any letters to me to Bubba. He'll
get them to me. Bubba's a good man. I know you love him as much
as I do.
It seems like an
eternity since you came home from boot camp and you and Francis got
married. You looked so damn handsome in your uniform, and I was so damn
proud to be my big bubba's best man. Damn, bubba, I can't tell
you how proud of you I am. I'm just so sorry our old man wouldn't
swallow his pride and come to your wedding. I begged him to,
Vince. Got down on my knees, cried and begged the old son of a
bitch. Told him one day he'd be sorry he didn't. He just
I'm glad we had
time to get away together. I know you're life after Nam is going
to be devoted to your family, and that's as it should be. I know
we talked, but bubba, I want you to know I ain't lost me a
brother, I've gained me a whole new family to love. Never fear
you little brother's gonna' get jealous or feel left out. I have
no fear in my heart you'd ever leave me out of your greater love.
I know you too damn well. It just would never happen.
You've proved it to me too many times.
you’re no longer alone in the world of the vanquished. Before you hear
any rumors from anyone else, I want you to hear about it from me. One
important thing I want to be clear about, Vince, is I love you,
brother, very much; however, my love for you or the love you have for
me wasn’t the reason I done what I done. What I did was carefully
thought out, planned, and was done for my own selfish reasons.
Its been about
six months since you were shipped to Nam, but a couple of days ago, it
finally came to a head between our old man and me. I guess it all
came about because, in my heart, I know the feelings we have for each
other are real, honest and form a deeper love than may be dreamed of in
our dad’s philosophy of life. I don’t give a good Goddamn what he bases
his crazed beliefs on, I know in my heart he’s wrong, and his narrow
minded rigidity has made him a cold, empty, barren vessel afraid to
love. He’s come to see any expression of love as an act of perversion
as defined by his sick sense of family values. Of what virtue is his or
any values if they have not love? Love by any definition has to
In many ways,
brother, I guess we inherited his head-strong, stubborn streak. You and
I know how stubborn we both can be; me much more than you. I suppose, I
just wanted love from him the way we shared love and felt for each
other. I finally realized it was never going to be. I made a decision,
one I could live with, and knew I could no longer live with the
frustration of having him in my life. Vince, don’t get me wrong,
it didn’t necessarily mean I wanted him to share physical love with me
the way we did. I was just so starved for any sign of affection
from him I would’ve settled for his arm around my shoulders or a pat on
the back telling me I was a good son, he loved me, and he was proud of
me. Do you ever remember him telling either of us he loved
us? I cant.
On the other
hand, to be completely honest, you know me well enough to know I
wouldn’t have said ‘no’ if he wanted physical love from me. You know
how I used to talk to you about how attracted to dad I was.
All the time you would tell me not to go there, our dad was not to be
fucked with! (I don’t think you intended any pun by that, either.) You
revealed to me your own attraction to him, but stressed he would never
understand, tolerate or entertain any such ideas. I have a hard
head, but it finally sunk in,— you were right.
I guess I just
expected more from him. I damn sure know I wanted and needed more from
him than what we got. After he done what he done to you, I soon came to
realize, I was never going to get any affection from him. I was never
going to have even a modicum of the love I needed from him. I also
realized I transferred all my need to love him on to you, and in
effect, you became, not only my brother, but my surrogate dad as well.
As my older
brother, you knew what I needed and what I was missing from dad.
I guess you figured you knew how much you missed those things, so you
were going to make damn sure I got them. You were empathetic and
understanding enough to provide those things for me. Hell,
you lied so many times and told the old man you done something I done
just so’s I wouldn’t have to suffer his wrath. I don’t think I
was a mean spirited kid, but I sure could get myself into some shit
I saw the way
other brothers treated their little brothers and knew you were
different. I loved you so much for always being there for me at my
worst times. You always treated me like I was more than just your
little brother. You treated me like I was your buddy, your friend, but
you never let me forget we were brothers, and as your little brother, I
was the most important person in the world to you.
You told me I
could share or tell you anything, but no matter how strange or bizarre
I might think it was, it would never change the love you have for me. I
know I could, and can, tell you anything. I shared with you my
attraction to our dad and you shared the same with me. Now, I’m
sharing this with you. For your understanding, your love,
and many other things, my beloved brother, I will always love you and
remain grateful to you ‘til I breath my last; and, hopefully beyond
death. I truly believe love transcends the grave.
And, now for the
good part, my brother, depending on your point of view. I realize
there's a chance you might be disappointed with me for doing what I
done, but knowing your sense of humor and belief in ultimate, cosmic
retribution, I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive and be,
perhaps, just a little bit proud of me. As for me, I have no regrets.
For once, I got what I needed, even if I had to take it away from him.
Oh, Hell, why whitewash it? I sole the love I needed from our father.
Basically, Vince,— I raped our pa!
We were working
hard, one, hot afternoon this past summer mucking out horse stalls in
the barn. We were both hot and sweaty from our work and the
harder we worked the more I could smell his body. Vince, I can’t
describe the way his healthy, masculine smell made me feel. The
effect bypassed my brain completely and went directly to my dick. It
didn’t collect two hundred dollars for passing ‘Go’ on the way, neither!
We finished and
dad went in to clean up leaving me to put the tools away, feed and
water the ponies, and close up the barn. After feeding and
watering all the stock I sat on a bail of hay, got my bandana out of my
pocket, took my hat off and wiped my face. I was filthy, but I
didn’t care. I smelled wonderful, and I could still smell dad’s
presence all around me. It was overpowering. Other than you, I
think it was the strongest sexual feeling I experienced, and I think
what made it so exciting was the idea it was forbidden. I
couldn’t have him. Or could I? Was this a metaphor?
Was my dad the forbidden fruit the bible speaks of?
I sat there with
a roaring hard-on for a few minute thinking about things. I thought
about you being over there; how mean dad was to you, and how much I
miss you. I thought about how lonely and frustrated I was without
you. Bubba let me lean on him some, but it just ain’t the same as
having my big bubba’s love. Then, I got to thinking about how selfish
dad was with his love and how if anyone was going to love me, I had to
do it myself. So I pulled out my dick, and like so many times
before, began to jack off.
clicked in my brain, Vince. It was as if a voice came to me and
said, “It’s always going to be like this the rest of your life. Except
for your brother, you’ll always be alone if you have your dad in your
life. He will never let go of you nor will he ever allow you to be
yourself and love as your brother taught you. He knows not love.
He has never
loved himself and has little or no concept how to love others.
Better to take love from him, and in the process, no matter how he
might respond, show him your deepest need to love him. Don’t be
afraid of him or how he might respond. For now, it’s enough for you to
take what he steadfastly refuses to give. One day, he may come to
see your actions were as much for him as they were for you.
You know how he
will react. Hold your head high and accept his wrath with
maturity and dignity. Neither apologize for your actions nor ask
his forgiveness. Give neither credence nor dignity to his accusations
by attempting to argue with him. You will not win. Remember
the old saying, ‘There is no man so blind as he who will not see, nor
any man so deaf as he who will not hear!
He will simply
rationalize your attempt to show him love as coming from a sick,
perverted mind; the very depths of demonic possession. He will
never accept, until perhaps later, your actions had any direct bearing
on his actions or lack thereof. Even though he may even actually
enjoy your expression of love he will never allow himself to admit or
accept it. However, I will promise you, he will never forget it!”
With that I returned my dick to my Wranglers and knew what I had to do.
I returned to
the house with a couple of my ropes. I new exactly what I was going to
do and how. It all played out in my mind like a movie. I
went to his room and found him getting ready for his shower. He
looked at me with the meanest look that I should dare invade his
privacy. He didn’t have a stitch on. He was buck-ass naked. I
can’t ever remember seeing our dad naked before that night, can you?
brother, our old man’s got a cock on him bigger’n you and me put
together and neither one of us ain’t exactly what chud’ call
small. Dad is hung just slightly smaller than a brama bull;
however, I think his balls might be just as big or maybe even a little
bigger. I couldn’t help lick my lips when I saw his dick,
neither. My mouth started watering and I knew he saw my look of
lust for him.
boy? What the Hell you doing coming in my bedroom without knocking
first? Ain’t cleaned myself! Ain’t dressed yet, neither! Ain’t
got no clothes on! Get chur’ ass out a’ here.— NOW,— boy!
I’ll deal with you later.” He barked at me.
Any other time I
would’ve jumped at one of his commands. Now, his indignation just
seemed amusing and out of place at the moment.
“Your shower can
wait, old man. ‘Sides,” I told him, “I want you a little dirty.” I
barked back at him.
I just smiled at
him, took my rope, tossed it around him and pulled it tight. I guess he
just never should’ve taught us to be cowboys. He couldn’t move
his arms, I quickly looped it around him a couple more times before I
approached him and pushed him down across his bed. He was cursing
like a drunken sailor and flailing about with his legs trying to get on
his feet. I took my second rope and looped it around his feet and
cinched them together tight.
“What the Hell
you think you’re doing, boy? Why,— I’ll bust your butt for
this! You won’t be able to sit down to eat for a week or more
when I get through with you! How dare you do this to your father!”
respond, I just whipped out a long strand of latigo from my back pocket
and bound his feet tight. I took another and bound his hands
behind his back. I took a third, pulled his legs up behind him
and bound them to his hands. Basically, I roped and hog tied our
old man. He was cursing at me like I was Satan himself and all
his religion was going to save him from what fate he could only imagine.
I looked in his
dresser and found a couple of clean bandanas. His ranting and
raving reached a fevered pitch I didn’t want to listen to
anymore. I sat beside him on the bed and laid my hand gently on
his hip. He was still foaming at the mouth for me to release him.
to me for a minute, Dad! I mean you no harm and what I’ve done is
as much for you as for me.”
He started in
again. He made it clear he wasn’t going to listen to a word I had
“Goddamn it, old
man! I done told ju’ once to shut up and listen to me. I ain’t a’
gonna’ tell you again! Now! Shut, the fuck, up and listen
to me for a minute; then, you can rant and rave all you like!
Ain’t a’ gonna’ do you no good, no how!” I yelled at him at the top of
my voice with more than a little anger.
decided he better shut up and listen to what I had to say.
“Now, I have
some things to do. We can do this easy or I can make it hard for
you. It’s up to you. If you continue mouthing off I’m
gonna’ gag you so’s I don’t have to listen to an endless stream of your
perverted religious crap. Whatever God or demon you pray to ain’t
a’ gonna’ save you from my love.”
He glared at me
with a dumbfounded look on his face from the dichotomy of my words. I
stopped to let what I said sink in. I guess he was so accustomed to me
jumping at his every command he thought he could buffalo me and make me
do it now.
“You listen to
me, boy! The minute I get loose, I’m call’n the sheriff to come
out here and arrest your ass. I’m gonna’ have your butt locked
away in the Gatesville reformatory for boys. That’s where you
belong. Maybe they can teach you some respect.”
that’s enough! I warned you.”
With that, I
took one of the bandanas, and wadded it up in my hand. When he
started in again, I swiftly moved it to his mouth and firmly plugged
it. I took another piece of latigo and tied the gag in place
behind his head. Even with his mouth tightly gaged, he wouldn’t
stop trying to rave. I reached over and kissed him gently and lovingly
on his forehead. He stopped immediately and I saw a look in his
eyes of puzzlement, doubt and bewilderment. He knew I’d won and
he was, for all practical purposes, helpless and under my control.
brother? For all his protesting and threats his ole dick was as
hard as a raging, horny, slobbering bull in a pasture of fresh
heifers. Go figure? I wasn’t going to let that fact pass
him by. I wanted to make it perfectly clear I was in charge and I knew
he was, for whatever reason, turned on by it. I held his gaze
with my eyes as I slowly moved to his engorged dick.
I looked him
dead on in his eyes as I bent forward, blew my breath across it, then
lovingly kissed the head of his exposed cock. I still held his
gaze as I slipped my tongue into his piss slit and sucked up some of
his pre-come drooling from it. Then I ran my tongue around and
under his tight foreskin and cleaned him good. His eyes got
bigger and bigger and he whole body shuddered. I raised myself from him
still holding his gaze and smiled.
Dad! Your juices and bits under your skin are sooo good.
Best I ever tasted, Sir. Gonna’ get me some more of that in a few
minutes, but first I gotta’ go clean myself. I can’t offer myself
to my old man with a dirty body. It would be down right disrespectful.”
He glared at me,
but I smiled back, winked and started to remove my clothes in front of
him. I took my time and made it into a strip show for our old
man. I didn’t do no sexy dancing. I just wanted him to see me for
who I was, fully naked in front of him. It must have
worked. His hard dick never went down the whole time. When I
finished I stood there in front of him and made him watch as I played
with myself until I was roaring hard.
Dad.” I told him, “I’m gonna’ go clean myself and I’ll be back as soon
as I can.”
I knew he was
secure. I made sure of that when I tied him. I had no fear
of him getting loose. I went to my room and got my bag you taught
me to use to clean myself and went to his bathroom. I cleaned
myself completely, but I didn’t use any soap. I wanted the
natural smell of my body to stay with him as a memory. I wanted
it to haunt him the rest of his days. The voice in my head told
me he would remember my smell from that night and experience it again
one day in a very powerful way. When I returned I removed his gag.
“Now that you
know I’m serious, Dad, will you be quiet, cooperate and allow me to do
what I have to do? I promise, you won’t be harmed in anyway.”
softened somewhat, but he still wanted to talk. Now, he wanted to
reason with me.
you don’t wanna’ do this. Whatever you have in mind, I know I
ain’t gonna’ like it. Please,— just let me up. You’ve made
your point, and I got to think’n, maybe I haven’t been as right with
you and your bother as I might have been. I’ll try to make it up
to you, but if you go through with this you will be as dead to me as
your shameful brother.”
“Only you are
ashamed of my brother, Dad. I’m certainly not ashamed of
Vince. How can you be ashamed of someone for trying to show his
brother love? Him and Bubba weren’t hurt’n no one else. Just
because you condemn it, don’t make it so. Don’t bother with your
arguments, Dad. I know them all by heart and they don’t wash.
They just ain’t so!
I love my
brother, and he taught me about love. Something you never
bothered to do. Kinda glad you didn’t or I’d be as fucked up and empty
as you are. Vince taught me what love is. He taught me how to
give and receive love. You were always too damn busy preaching
your own personal gospel of fear and hatred. I’m sorry, Dad, I just
can’t live like that anymore. I don’t want to live in fear of
God, you or any other man for that matter. I want, with all my
heart, to love and respect you as a son should his father; however, you
have never allowed either of your sons to show you love, and you’ve
never, in all the years I’ve been your son, ever once, told me you
loved me, I was a good boy, or you were proud of me.
Now,— since you
don’t choose to give me your love, I’m going to, at least for a while,
take what I need, and I’m going to try to give you mine. You may think
what you please as long as you’re quiet about it. At this point I could
care less about your perverse beliefs and your gospel of fear and
hate. What has it ever gotten you, anyway, but regrets and
loneliness? How much will you pay before you give up such
nonsense, learn the true meaning of Christ teachings, and what God
truly means for us comes from the love in your heart. I can only pray
you’re not such a big fool you miss the point in what I hope to
accomplish here this evening.”
I watched his
eyes flare in anger.
“I’d be careful
if’n I was you how you talk about Jesus and our Lord. You all
ready are in danger of the fires of Hell by looking upon your father’s
“I’m sure you
probably wish that for me right now, Dad; however, let me say, if’n
it’s so, just being able to kiss the head of the dick that belongs to
the man who made me, whom I’ve admired and loved so long is gonna’ be
worth it. I dreamed so many nights of holding you in my arms and
telling you how much I love you. If I’m to burn forever in a lake of
fire at least I’ll have the memory of making love to you this evening
to quench my burning thirst for the love you could’ve but never chose
to give me.”
reasonable. Listen to me. I never could’ve loved you the way your
brother did. I just ain’t that way. I never was very good at
telling anyone I loved them. Hell, I think I only ever told your
ma I loved her a couple of times, but she knew it.”
didn’t. I’ve heard it said she died young of a broken heart
within a loveless marriage. J’ever think maybe you could’ve
lightened her burden just a little by telling her you loved her?
You wouldn’t be laying here right now if’n you’d only told me once in a
while you cared about me. What you did to my brother is
reprehensible. I’ll never forgive you for that. You don’t care
about him or you never would’ve did what you done to him. What is
there to make me think you feel any more for me? You don’t care
about me! All your threats and thump’n your bible is the surest
way to watch my back as I walk out of your God forsaken life.”
mouth, boy! My God would never forsake me!”
I laughed at him.
“He all ready
has! Think about it, old man, if God is love, as you’ve told me a
hundred times, he sure as Hell has forsaken you. You have no love
in your heart or your miserable life. You don’t love anyone but
yourself! However, maybe that’s a good thing because after this evening
you won’t have anyone to love you in return. You can wallow in
your own self-love. I have a feeling you’re gonna’ be loving solo
for a long time to come. No love, by your own definition, means
no God! I’d say you’re shit out of luck in the God department,
I undid his feet
one at a time. I remembered how hot our old man looked in his
cowboy boots and got his best, Sunday-go-to-meet’n pair I used to keep
cleaned and shined for him out of his closet. I found a clean pair of
his socks in his drawer, put them on and then pulled his big boot on
afterward. I secured his left boot and then his left hand to the
head. I repeated the action for his right side until I had him
spread-eagle on his back with his huge cock sticking straight up like
The whole time I
was stretching him out he never said a word. I stepped back to admire
my work and smiled at him. Damn, bubba, our old man looked hot just
laying there naked with only his big ole boots on! I kept
pinching my butt to make sure I wasn’t having a wet dream. He just
continued to glare at me; however, now, I saw a glint of fear in his
I reached for
the light switch and flipped it off. It was dark in the room except for
the moonlight coming though the open windows and a faint trail of light
coming from his bathroom. There was plenty ambient light for me
to see everything. I slowly crawled onto his bed with him. I was
going to take it slow. I wanted to enjoy and savor the only time
with my old man I figured I’d ever have. Whether he enjoyed it or not,
I didn’t give a shit. I was going to make it memorable for me.
I gently laid my
head upon his huge chest, put one of my arms under him and my other
over him to hold him. Then I moved my body close to his so my
cock would be pressing into his side. I could feel his whole body
go rigid as I got comfortable holding him. How cold and
rejecting, I thought, to respond to your own flesh and blood that
way. I just lay there, relaxing, breathed deeply, and let out a
contented sigh. It was a message to him, I found great pleasure
and comfort holding him close to me. My message wasn’t missed.
After a few minutes, he began to relax having me hold him like I was.
His erection even got harder.
Dad.” I spoke softly. I didn’t think he would respond, but he did.
“What the Hell
for! I ain’t got no choice in the matter as I sees it.”
you don’t, but your body tells me a lot more’n your religiously clouded
mind would ever allow you to say to me.”
his response of choice.
“Maybe so, but
right now,— I’ve got my arms full of it.” I chuckled as I tickled
him. I even got a smirk of a smile out of him.
I lay there for
a few more minutes breathing in his essence. He still smelled of
his strong, masculine scent. It was stronger than usual because
of working all afternoon in the heat. He was like inhaling a
sexual experience. He smelled so damn good, Vince, I wanted to
eat him, bite by bite. Is part of passion the urge to consume the
object of our love? God knows I feasted on your body so many
times I began to think of you as my personal Eucharist; my last
supper. However, within the same concept the thought of
cannibalism entered my head I opted for sucking all the good flavors
from his body.
I saw his left
nipple was getting hard. I’m sure it wasn’t standing that high
before I laid my head on his chest. I moved my head slightly and
flicked out my tongue at it. As soon as my tongue made contact,
dad winced. Bingo! I knew his tits were sensitive.
Vince, did you ever get to see our dad’s tits? Damn, they’re
big. They are a perfect compliment to his cock. His tits are
huge. They gotta’ be two inches across and dark brown in
color. The tit part, in the middle, sticks out from his chest at
least five-eights of an inch and as much as three-quarters of an inch
when erect. Yes, they do get erect and hard; just like his dick.
I moved my head
up and began to gently suck on his tit. He never said a word, but his
breathing began to change. He wasn’t quite so hyper as he was.
The more I sucked and gently chewed on his tit the bigger his cock grew
until it was almost at its fullest. Vince, I swear to God, our dad has
the biggest damn dick on a man I’ve ever did see in my life. If’n I
didn’t know better, I’d swear he ain’t human. I didn’t think it
could grow any bigger, but hold on, big brother, it did!
was sucking his beautiful tit I got me a good whiff of his armpits and
almost reached an orgasm. Remember that small brown bottle of
that yellow liquid stuff you and I played around with one summer.
You called it ‘poppers’ or something like that. The smell of his
pit had the same damn effect on me. It almost blew my head
off. I knew I had to taste them; however, I didn’t want to cheat
dad’s other tit. I ran my tongue across his hairy chest to his other
tit. Still, no comment from dad. I went to work on his
right tit, licking, sucking and gently chewing until I sucked most of
the good flavors out and it was erect as his other. I kept gently
rubbing his other tit with my left hand and it got harder and harder.
I couldn’t stay
away from his pits any longer. I buried my face in his right pit
and just lay there for a while inhaling his essence. Damn, Vince,
our old man has a wonderfully powerful male odor. My dick was
raging hard and I moved closer to him so he could feel my erection
against his body. This time he didn’t tense up, but he did speak to me.
boy. Let me help you. Release me and we’ll get you some
I wasn’t about
to let him spoil my joy in being close to him.
“Is it sick to
want love from your dad who has starved you of his love all your life?
Maybe;— however, if I'm sick, whose fault is it? If you don’t show your
child the proper love he needs; which, as I see it, is any
father's responsibility, and he becomes sick because of your inaction,
who then, is the sicker? Furthermore, if you think enjoying
smelling the essence of your body is sick, wait’ll you get a’ load of
what I’m gonna’ do next.”
I didn’t wait
for a response, I just dived into his pit and started licking, sucking
and cleaning for all I was worth making ‘yummy’ sounds when I’d get a
particularly strong taste. I ‘ummed’ and ‘ooohed’ until I got
every good flavor I could from his right pit. Then, I moved to
his left one and proceeded to lavish it with my tongue and
attention. The whole time I was eating his pits I continued
rubbing his swollen and sensitive tits.
When I sucked
all the flavor out of his other pit I resumed my position next to him
with my arms around him and once again held him close. I reached up and
kissed him on his cheek. He tried to pull away, but he wasn’t
“I’ll warn you
next time before I try’n steal a kiss, Dad, so your can get ready to
reject my love for you again. God forbid you show your boy the
slightest encouragement for his honest attentions towards you. Somehow,
I seriously doubt God would forbid or condemn you for returning a
little of you son’s affection.”
You call this honest? How honest are your intentions when you have me
at your mercy?”
to take from you what should’ve been freely given all these years. The
honesty of not letting you make me ashamed of showing my love for you
the way I choose. Would you wish me to take out my honest,
righteous indignation and anger for your inability to show me love all
these years and beat the shit out of you? Believe me, in a moment
of anger, the thought crossed my mind; but, you don’t do that sort of
thing to someone you truly love. Just like you don’t cut someone
out of your life forever because they don’t share your sick, perverted
beliefs. Anger and hate ain’t the answer, Dad. Love is the
answer. That’s what Jesus tried to tell folks, but you won’t listen to
nothing about the bible, boy! The Devil has corrupted your
mind. You speak with his voice now. There is nothing I can
do for you unless you renounce him, release me, we’ll pray for the
forgiveness of your sins against your father, and I’ll take you to a
minister who will help you cast off these perversions.”
for the offer, Dad, but after tonight you won't ever see me
again. I’m not really giving you the option of rejecting me like
you did my brother. I’m rejecting you. I’m walking out of your sick
life, and I have no plans to return. I would never be foolish enough to
contemplate trying to seek your love again. I never got it all
these years, what makes me think you 'd ever change enough to
show me any now? Why would I want to let you put me through any
more frustration or pain always wondering, hoping, praying you'll
finally wake up and love me? So, there’s really no need for your
prayers or the services of your minister. Why would I want to live in
your miserable world anymore? You have no love in you. You can't
love. You're an empty, barren wasteland. You're
miserable. Misery has become your happiness. That's all you're
comfortable with, and you want to make damn sure everyone around you
shares in your misery. The Devil has more than your words, Dad,—
he has your soul.”
respond, but I figured I’d rested enough. I moved down between
his legs and began to clean between his powerful thighs with my
tongue. His body smells were as strong and powerful as he
is. I was so glad I intercepted him before he took his
shower. His fragrance and the taste from his body was like
ambrosia to me. I licked and cleaned beneath his bull balls and
finally took one completely in my mouth to suck on. I heard him
wince but he didn’t say anything. I rolled his testicle around in
my mouth. I released it and began to kiss and make love to his
other ball. Finally I took it into my mouth and teased it around
as well. I closed my teeth gently around it and pulled on it
stretching it away from his body. He went rigid again somewhat
apprehensive I suppose; however, I immediately released my pressure and
let his ball slip from my mouth.
Finally I moved
further down between his legs and could smell the Earthy fragrance of
his hole. I was reeling with the emotions and smells of our
father’s body. I was so close to the prize I’d jack off so many
nights dreaming of tasting. I slowly licked down and I think he
realized what I planned to do.
“Seth, my son,—
please,— don’t do this.”
“I have to,
Dad. I have to show you how much I love you. Greater love hath no
son than he who would clean and make love to his father’s hole.”
I told him, not including the chapter and verse from the gospel
according to Seth.
I didn’t wait to
explain further or for a comment. I plunged into his depths and began
to tongue his sweet hole. Vince, nothing could’ve prepared me for the
ecstacy of eating our old man’s hole. I held my lips strong
against his hole and kissed him like I’d make love to a lover. He
couldn’t help but respond and it almost felt like he was trying to kiss
me back with his muscle. It only made me respond more
passionately. I kissed, licked and cleaned all around his hole and then
plunged my tongue as deeply into him as I could to suck out all his
Earthy flavors. I must have sucked on his hole for thirty minutes
or more. I didn’t stop until I felt him writhing from the assault
on his ass by my wet and slippery tongue. He would never shout
any words of encouragement to me, but I didn’t have to ask if he was
enjoying my attentions. He whole body became a litmus; like a dip
stick on crank case. I finally had my fill and moved back up to hold
him again and relax. He was unusually quite, but he was also
considerably more relaxed. He opened his mouth to say something,
but I stopped him.
Dad. Don’t say anything just yet. Please,— don’t spoil this
moment for me. It was so wonderful being able to be that intimate
with you, I just don’t care to hear anything negative you have to say.
To me what I just did was as scared and holy to me as any scripture you
might think to quote. It’s too bad I have to go to such extreme means
to show you how much I truly love you; however, I don’t see that as my
He didn’t try to
say any more.
I moved between
his legs again, but this time, I started making love to his enormous
cock. I kissed, licked and cleaned every inch of him. I didn’t
look directly at him, but could see him studying me as I made love to
his penis. Finally I took him in my mouth and tried to take as
much of him as I could. I couldn’t take much because of his size;
however, I remember some of the tricks you taught me, and I began to
relax my throat. The next thing I knew I was deep fucking my throat
with his big dick and it was taking its toll on our dad. He was
beginning to writhe under me moaning a groaning. It was beginning
to feel a little more than just good to him. I knew he was
getting close. I grabbed his testicles with my right hand and began to
pull them away from his body, and that’s all it took. I made one
huge lung and almost touched his belly with my nose when I heard him
call to me.
“Seth,— son,— I
can’t hold it no more, boy. I’m a’ gonna’ shoot in your
mouth! Oh, God,— forgive my son! He knows not what he does!”
He erupted in my
throat so much his come was spurting out my nose. I swallowed and
swallowed and still he kept coming. I moved back to the bulbous
head of his penis to receive the final few volleys of his male
fluid. He tasted more wonderful than I could ever imagine,
brother. I cleaned him up good with my tongue. I cleaned out from
under his considerable foreskin and got all his goodness from there. I
crawled back up to hold him again. I once again took a deep
breath and let it out with a contented sigh.
Dad.” I kissed him on his neck.
“Are you all
right, boy?” He asked in a concerned tone.
better, Dad.” I smiled at him. “You taste much better than I
imagined. I will remember your fine taste, the essence of your
body, the seed that gave life to me’n my brother, the rest of my
life. I’ll jack off many times thinking about how much I enjoyed
pleasuring you this evening.”
Dad was quiet
for a long while, but I could feel his conflicting thoughts going
around in his head. How could anything that felt that good to him
be so wrong? Was his boy really trying to show him a greater
love? No! It was the work of the Devil and he’s controlling
my boy. End of worry! No need to ponder further.
“Son, I know you
mean well,— but,”
“Shut up, Dad!”
I barked at him. “Did I make you feel good, pa?” I asked him more
“It always feels
good to ejaculate my sperm.”
“That ain’t what
I asked you, Dad.”
He refused to
answer my question. There was no breaking down his barriers, and
I had only one trick left in my bag. My voice told me beyond
kissing and cleaning dad’s hole not to violate him there. That would
leave him feeling less than a man in his own eyes and that wasn’t my
purpose for the evening. My dad was my ideal of what a man should be,
and I worshiped him. I wouldn’t consider defiling my God.
My purpose was to offer him pleasure through my physical love for him.
It would be different if it was consensual; however, I had him at my
advantage. I couldn’t do that to our old man.
finished with me?” He asked.
“Did mom ever
ask YOU that question, Dad?" I let that rest with him for a
moment. I felt his icy silence and knew I made my point. "Not quite,
Dad. I have a big finale planned.”
“You ain’t a’
planning on,— .” His voice trailed off in fear. Afraid to even
complete his sentence.
“Of course not,
Dad. I’m not a barbarian. I couldn’t do that to you, for
cries sake, you’re my dad; my father. My love for you boarders on
worship, Dad, and I certainly would never consider defiling someone I
love as much as you. I would never disrespect you in such a way. I
realize you’ve not consented to any of this, but that would be going
beyond the realm of human decency. However,— to take you into my
body would be, for me at least, a supreme act of giving.”
“Son, let it end
here. All right,— if you must hear it, I love you. It felt
wonderful when you sucked me off. It was wrong, but to deny it felt
wonderful would be as much a sin as you sucking me off. Damn,
boy, what more do you want from me?”
Dad. I only want to give to you. You always drilled it into us
boys,— it's only by giving of one's self that one receives love
in return. I’ve gotten more love from you this evening than I
ever have. For that,— I’m truly grateful. I guess you might
say, I’m stocking up, Dad, for the long, lonely winter of my life
“Seth,— we can
work this out, Son. Nothing you’ve done to me this evening has
really been that bad I couldn’t overlook if you work with me and seek
help. It’s certainly nothing I would’ve elected to engage in, but
it weren’t that bad. Stop now, Son, and I’ll forget the whole thing.
You won’t have to leave, Son. I won’t force you to pray or see the
minister. I ain’t gonna’ put you in Gatesville. That was
all anger talking. Please, Son. I see what you’ve been trying to
prove to me. I’d have to be a stone not to feel something even
though I don’t approve of your methods. Give me another chance. Seth,
I’m a' begging you, boy! Ain't never begged no man in my life for
anything, Son,— but I’m a' begging you now.”
“I think that’s
the first time you’ve ever really meant anything you’ve said to me,
Dad. I appreciate your words. I love you for them, but it’s
too late for us. You see, Dad, I’ve all ready made my choice for
my life, and it doesn’t include you. For that, and only that, I’m truly
sorry. To leave someone behind I love as much as you is like cutting my
heart out; but, at least, I'll have my brother's love to comfort
me. I can always count on my brother's love. His love is as
constant as the rain.”
I moved between
his legs again. I was so amazed, Vince, his dick sprang to life
immediately like it had its own brain and knew what I was about to
do. I thoroughly lubricated my ass before I came to his bed so I
was ready. He was so large though, I figured I needed extra for
his cock. I grabbed my tube of KY and began to apply it
generously to his dick. He moaned and groaned knowing what was
coming, but his cock only continued to grow. I finally saw our
dad’s penis completely engorged, and it was, indeed, a sight to behold.
It was unbelievable. I didn’t know if I could take him. In
my mind, I began to thank you, big brother, for all the times you took
me and taught me how to relax. After you left, I asked Bubba to
take me one night, and you know how big he is. For a big
man, Bubba's the soul of gentleness and, other than you big
brother, gave me one of the sweetest fuckings of my young life.
lubricating dad’s shaft and positioned myself over and in front of his
dick. I grabbed him and placed his huge head against my
sphincter. With one swift lunge backward I took the large head of
his dick. I heard our dad gasp at the feeling. I took a
little more until I could feel him hit my prostate. It was easy
going from there, brother. I sat right down on the rest of him,—
but I sensed something was wrong. I looked at dad and saw tears coming
from the corners of his eyes.
God!” I exclaimed. “Did I hurt you, Dad?”
He didn’t answer
for a minute as his jaw dropped opened as if to speak. He took a
deep breath before answering.
“No, Son, I’m
all right. I just shot my load in your ass. Seth, this
isn’t right,— but Son,— I can understand the temptation. That has to be
one of the best feelings I’ve ever experienced in my life. Are you all
right, Son? I’m pretty big. Are you hurting?”
“No, Dad. I
cleaned myself completely before I came to your bed. There is nothing
inside me competing for space with your dick. You won’t be dirty
when I pull off of you.” I took a good long stroke on his cock
and let out a groan of pleasure.”
“Oh, Seth,— oh,
Son! Does my penis feel good inside you, boy?”
imagine how good you feel to me, Dad.”
I stayed on him
for a good while, but he never lost his erection. He stayed hard
the whole time.
“Dad, you’ve got
one more good one in you and I want it. I’m going to fuck it out
of you with my ass.”
handsome boy,— I’m so big. I’m afraid you’ll hurt yourself.
That was enough, boy. I’m satisfied you love me. You could ruin
“I’ve done this
many times before, Dad. Lay back, relax and let your boy pleasure
I started in to
ride him like a bull rider on a Sunday best critter. I would take
slow long strokes and then several rhythmic shorter strokes. Dad
was no longer being the cold, distant observer. He was gasping
for breath, moaning and groaning as much as I was. His hips began to
involuntarily buck to met my thrust. I got a strong, steady, powerful
stroke going and knew he was clenching his teeth from the shear ecstacy
of the feeling. I set in a steady, unremitting pace with a good
lengthy stroke I though would get him off. I continued that
relentlessly until I heard dad’s soft voice.
shorter stroke, Son. A bit faster.”
I smiled to
myself and immediately accommodated his request. I knew I found his
exact stroke when I saw a huge satisfied smile come across his face and
he started to drool saliva from the corners of his mouth.
Finally, he began moving his head back and forth and his saliva was
being slung everywhere. His hips began to meet my strokes with a frenzy
like he couldn’t get enough of his giant dick inside me. We became
locked together for a single purpose to achieve the passion of one Hell
of a butt busting climax. I certainly wasn’t disappointed in our old
man. Vince, it had to be one of the hottest sexual moments I ever
experienced. Dad screamed out, and I knew I had him. I didn’t
slack off but continued my fucking assault on his dick. He never
once wavered in his determination to reach his goal of climax.
Seth! You got me, Son! Rode me down hard, boy! Oh,— oh,—
ho, my God! Oh, God forgive me, but it feels so good!
Seth,— my beautiful boy! Come to me! Give me your love, boy!”
figure out what he meant until I leaned over to look into his eyes as I
continued to fuck him with my ass. His mouth opened to me and my
heart leapt to my throat. My dad was asking me to kiss him. I
gently place my mouth on his and he sucked my tongue into his
mouth. I began to slow my fucking because I felt his dick
shooting volley after volley into my butt. The more he kissed me the
more he shot into my ass. Here I was,— for the first time in my
life kissing my own dad. In all my years as his son, we never kissed
once until that night. It was our first kiss; it was also our last. I
knew I would never see him again. I kept him inside me until I began to
feel him soften and I pulled off him. He was babbling about how
amazing it was and while it was a crime against God and nature he could
understand how it might appeal to some.
I saw lights
from a pickup truck coming down our long gravel road towards the
house. I knew it was Bubba come to pick me up. I told him
about midnight and he was right on time. I left him alone in his room
and went to mine to put my clothes on I’d laid out earlier. I
left everything there. I didn’t want anything he ever gave me. I
came down the stairs to his room again. I untied dad without a
word of apology or regret. I handed him his robe and turned to
walk away. I said nothing to him as I walked to the door. He
didn’t speak to me until I almost reach the threshold.
I turned to look
at him, to marvel one last time at his masculine beauty as he stood
there only in his boots. For some strange reason he didn’t bother to
put his robe on. He had thrown it on his bed. He looked
like a God to me, Vince. My heart leapt to my throat again, and I
wanted to run and kneel at his feet to worship him one last time;
however, I didn’t. I knew this God, this man, our father standing
before me in all his glory, whom I loved beyond measure, I had to walk
I’ll always love you.”
go. Please, Son. I understand what you were trying to tell
me. I can change, Son. I'll meet you halfway.”
pop.” I choked out, turned and walked to the porch where Bubba
was waiting. It was the hardest damn thing I ever done in my
life, Vince. Of course, Dad had to have the last word. He
ran to the door, still naked except for his boots, he flung open the
screen door and yelled at me with all the anger in his heart.
“If you leave
now, boy, don’t ever darken my door again!”
“On down the
road, Dad. I love you.”
I got into
Bubba’s truck. He put his hand on my leg and looked at me with
sadness in his eyes. He knew. Bubba ain’t the brightest penny in
the jar, but he sure as Hell can be an understanding friend when you
Bubba. Thanks.” And we were gone.
Like you, big
brother, I joined the Marines two days ago and I’m being sent to Camp
Pendleton. I’ve been staying with Bubba and his family for a few
days and he’s taking me to the airport in the morning. This is the last
letter you’ll get from me before boot camp. I won’t promise, but
I’ll try to write from Pendleton.
I never kept
your new name or address around the house so dad has no idea where you
are or how to find you. I’m hoping when I get back from Nam I can
change my name to be the same as yours, so we will always be brothers.
I love you so much, Vince. If any of this letter bothers you, I
apologize. It was never my intention to hurt you. It was only
something else I wanted to share with my big brother.
I will always
love you, Vince,
I must have read
Uncle Seth’s letter a hundred times or more and had to jack off every
damn time because it was so hot. That wasn’t the only reason I
found it moving. It was also because of the pent up love and
frustration he had for his dad and the obvious love that poured forth
from his words to my dad.
To add insult to
injury and to his personal horror, the old man found it to be the most
sexually exciting thing that ever happened to him. He would never
admit it, but deep down inside, he knew he enjoyed the feeling. He
awoke to the sensuality of having his seed that created his
beautiful sons being sucked out of him and greedily consumed by his
youngest boy. Only then, did he take Uncle Seth seriously and
banished him from his life with instructions for him to never darken
his door again. However, this time it wasn’t with such great
bravado and religious posing as he’d done with my dad. Curtis
Langtry had lost everything. He lost his world for his unbending,
rigid piety. Where was his God now, when he most needed
comfort? His answer was blowing in the wind.
End of Chapter 2
~ Texas Longhorns
2004/2005 ~ Waddie Greywolf