By Waddie Greywolf

Chapter 24

“Thank you, Son, that was the best damn blow job you ever gimme." I really appreciate it.  That was special.  You always put your all into sucking this old man’s dick. You made me feel like a new man.”  Vince said to Logan as he was cleaning Vince’s dick so he could return it to his pants.

“That’s what you’ve said about ever’ blow job I give you, Mr. Longhorn.” Logan chided him gently. “Just lemme’ say,— it’s always an honor, Sir, when you allow me to suck you off, and I’m the one who appreciates you humoring me for the last couple of years and giving me a little bit of yourself.”

“You know how I feel about chu,’ little bit. You’re one of my boys, Son, and I love you. By the way, I heard through the grapevine yore’ daddy sort a’ came down pretty hard on you the other evening.”

“Naw, Sir, Mr. Longhorn, he’s jes’ concerned about me, and like ever’body else, he was accusing me of being in love with you. I asked him what give ‘em his first clue?” Logan laughed and so did Vince. “My daddy’s got one hell of a short memory.  I never made it no secret.  I done told ever’body five years ago when I saw you stand up to the Colonel, I decided right then and there, you was a man I respected and I was gonna’ love, Sir. I ain’t never stopped love’n you since?

Vince and Logan bonded the two weeks Logan stayed with him. It wasn’t a lovers bond because each knew it was temporary and they would go on with their lives after Casey returned. It was a bond of love, respect and admiration on both their parts that was as gratifying as it was comfortable. Logan knew he could tell Vince Longhorn anything, and the man would listen intelligently and give Logan his best considered, and thoughtful response. They developed a more mature relationship apart from fathers and sons, and whatever they told each other never left the room.

“I told my daddy and Sticker,— Mr. Wiggins told me I could call him Sticker now;— anyway,— I done told ‘em, ‘yes’ it’s true, I  love Mr. Longhorn, but I ain’t ‘in’ love with him.  Why is that so hard for people to understand, Mr. Longhorn?  I can love my brothers and not be ‘in’ love with them.  I can love my dad and Sticker, but I ain’t ‘in’ love with ‘em.  You’re about the only person I can tell I love him, without taking it the wrong way.  You know I think of you as my second dad, Mr. Longhorn. I think of you as a mentor, as someone to emulate, and I’d do anything in the world for you or my brothers.”

“I know you would, little bit. You’ve proved yourself to us many times. Does it bother you a lot, Son?”  

“Naw, Sir,— well, maybe a little,— I jes’ don’t understand it, and it kinda frustrates me. It makes me feel bad sometimes. Casey and Dwayne kid me all the damn time about my school boy crush on you.  I don’t think it’s fair.  I don’t kid Dwayne about having no school boy crush on his dad.  I don’t kid Casey that way neither.  They both have special relationships with you and Mr. Harding, but I don’t know’s I could ever kid ‘them’ that a’ way. I’d never tell Dwayne he has a crush on his dad or Casey has a crush on you.

It jes’ don’t make no sense, Mr. Longhorn.  Why can’t they understand I love you like Dwayne loves you; like one of Casey’s brothers? Hell,— you tell me you love me all the time, Mr. Longhorn. I know you love me, ‘cause you show me love ever’ damn time I come over here. You never fail to tell me you love me when I come over here. I don’t take it the wrong way. I know how you mean it.  I like to come over here because ya’ll make me feel welcome.  I like to feel loved by you and my brothers. What’s wrong with that?”

“There ain’t a damn thing wrong with it, Son.  I’ve never felt you were confused about my love for you, and I sure as hell ain’t confused about your love for me. As long as you and me understands each other, does all the rest matter?”

“Naw, Sir, I guess it don’t. It jes’ makes me think people who think that way are underestimating me and implying I don’t have a grip on my emotions.  I think I managed to convince my dad and Sticker the other evening, I ain’t some drooling lovesick hound dog what comes over here to follow you around like a sad eyed  puppy.”  Logan said. Vince couldn’t help but laugh. He felt the young man’s frustration.

“Son, I know you so well by now, and part of loving someone is trying to understand them.  I’ve never felt unclear about our relationship or your intentions towards me. I do know this is leading up to something, though,— ain’t it?”

Logan smiled at Vince.  He knew Vince Longhorn understood him better than anyone and could easily see through his purposes; for that, he had mixed feelings.

“I jes’ wanted you to know,  if you ever need me again like you did when Casey and Dwayne were gone for two weeks, I’m here for you and Casey.  I don’t want you to think I have any other motives than to help you and Casey.  I think Casey thinks I spent those two weeks with you because I had a giant crush on you and jumped at the chance to be with you. I won’t deny some of it was true, because I did want you to be my first, but I did it as much for Casey as I did for you or me. If you chose not to do anything with me, I would’ve still been proud to do it. I guess it all boils down to, I feel like what efforts I put out to help somebody are being looked on as selfishly motivated, and I don’t think that’s fair.”

“It ain’t fair, Son, but I know different from them.  You’re forgetting one big factor here, that’s my feelings and how I feel about it.  Do you think I took you for yore’ first time, popped chur’ cherry, out of some great altruistic need?  That may have been a small factor, but my personal enjoyment was ninety-five percent of the experience.  I enjoyed it as much as you did, or I wouldn’t have done it; or at least I wouldn’t have done it again.  It wouldn’t have been a good experience for you if’n I didn’t enjoy it.  It’s all part of what you’re talking about here and now. It’s about being appreciated.  You want what any man wants, you wanna’ be loved, respected and appreciated. Did I fail to do that with you?”

“Lord, no, Mr. Longhorn, that’s why I’m talking with you about this now.  You don’t shine me on, tell me it’s all my imagination or it’s not important. I know you love me. You respect and appreciate me enough to listen.  To me, that’s the greater part of my love for you. You’re like a second dad to me.  I can talk with you without fear of you taking it the wrong way. When you took me for my first time, it was like a rite of passage, and I wanted it to be with someone I loved, admired, respected, and trusted to take me through it, and share it with me. You were wonderful, Mr. Longhorn, for doing it for me, and I will always appreciate and love you for it; however, whatever we did afterwards was icing on the cake.  I looked at it as fringe benefits of the job.”  Logan grinned.  Vince laughed and nodded his head in agreement.

“Maybe we’re both being underestimated, Son.  I enjoyed what we did and if you think I did it because I’m a cold, calculating man like the Colonel, you’re wrong.  I enjoyed it as much as you did. Let me put it another way. I realize I have to be somewhat dependent on others for my well being. It’s the price I pay everyday for fighting for my country.  I ain't complaining none, mind ju,’ it’s just a fact; however, whoever I get to assist me is very important.

Let’s face it,--- assisting a man with his personal hygiene and sleeping with him night after night becomes a pretty intimate thing. I don’t wanna’ be assisted by jes’ anybody, or somebody who don’t understand my needs.  If you weren’t who you are, or the man I know you to be, I would’ve never felt comfortable enough to have you stay with me those two weeks.  As it turned out, I think it was a wonderful experience for both of us. If it came to be, I didn’t have Casey to assist me for a while, I wouldn’t want nobody else but you, Son. You showed me the love, respect and appreciation I need to accept your assistance. I certainly hope I showed you the same.”

 Logan threw his arms around Vince’s neck and hugged him.

“Of course you did, Mr. Longhorn, and you do understand what I’m talking about. I new in my heart you would.  That’s part of why I love you. You’ve been a respected mentor to me, and I guess I jes’ wanted you to know I’m here if you ever need me.”

“That’s damn good to know, Son, and I appreciate you letting me know. As long as we understand each other, who cares what others think?  I know you can’t help but care.  That’s because you’re a caring person. I think we both get what we need from each other on a healthy basis, and I see no need to overanalyze it.  You’re my boy, little bit, jes’ like Dwayne and Casey.  I don’t love you a whit less than I love them.”

“That’s the way I want you to love me, Mr. Longhorn, and it’s the way I wanna’ love you. I think it’s so simple other folks wanna’ read a lot more into it that jes’ ain’t there.”

“I agree.  Now!  You wouldn’t be concerned about all this unless something else was stuck in yore’ craw;  something you ain’t telling me, little bit.”

“Damn,— that’s one of the things about our relationship that disturbs me. Sometimes, you can see things I don’t want you to see. I don’t wanna’ lie to you, Mr. Longhorn, so please, don’t ask me no more questions.”

“That tells me all I need to know, Son.  Do you feel better now?”

“Yeah, I always do, Mr. Longhorn.  After I’ve sucked you off and had a good talk with you, I feel a lot better. Thanks, Mr. Longhorn, I appreciate it, Sir.”

“You know you’re welcome, boy, and it WAS the best blow job you ever gimme.’ I say the same thing ever’ damn time because you git better every time.  You shoulda’ figured that out.  Look how fast you got me off compared to the first time you done it.”

“You’re right, Mr. Longhorn. Thanks, Sir.”

“Yore’ certainly welcome, Son.”

* * * * * * *

Later that evening, Logan left to go home.  He had to get up early the next morning because he was going with his dad to a board meeting to observe and learn more about his dad’s business holdings. Logan got so good with his mind reading skills he could tell when someone was lying in an instant. Sticker shared with his mate his son’s additional talent, but Sidney wouldn’t believe him at first.  Then slowly, without confronting Logan, he began to see it all made sense.  Sticker took it in stride like he did everything in life, and it didn’t bother him.  He did, however, have a serious talk with Logan.

Sidney saw a raw talent in his boy that could make Logan a business giant being able to tell people’s motivation and truthfulness. He developed a signal with his son.  If someone was lying to him in a meeting, Logan would play with his left ear.  If he didn’t do anything, Sidney knew they were telling him the truth. Logan had all ready saved Sidney millions in only two negotiations. His dad needed him the next day.

Dwayne was with us for dinner and we sat down to eat.  Dad was more quiet and reserved than usual.  I knew something was on his mind, but I also knew better than to push.  We were having dessert when dad spoke.

“I wanna’ talk with you men about something that disturbs me, and I think you both should give it some serious thought.  You’re grown men now, and I ain’t gonna’ order you to do something. You make your own decisions about how you live your lives and conduct yourself; however, when you’re in my house you will do well to heed to my words.”

“What is it, dad?” I asked him concerned. I hadn’t seen my dad so serious about anything in a long time.

“You and your brother ride your little brother mercilessly about what you call his ‘school boy crush’ on me. Don’t deny it ‘cause I’ve heard you do it, time after time.  That ain’t fair of you two, and in my house it will cease immediately as of tonight. Do I make myself clear, gentlemen?”

“Yes, Sir, Dad.”

“Yes, Sir, Mr. Longhorn.”

“We’s only kidding with him, Dad.”  I said.

“Does he kid you about having a crush on me, Casey?  Dwayne, does he kid you about having a crush on your dad?  Does he kid you about having a crush on Lamar?”

“No, Dad, he don’t.” I responded for both of us.  Dwayne hung his head and shook it ‘no.’

“He’s allowed you men to grow up, and I think it’s high time you allowed him to grow up. It’s time you accept him as your adult brother and not jest’ as your ‘little brother.’ You two gang up on him and pick on him. That’s the kind of shit school kids do to each other to establish a pecking order;  jes’ like a damn flock a’ chickens.  What chore’ doing to that young man is worse than high school shit, gentlemen.  You’re grown men for cries sakes, you ain't in grade school no more. You’re almost twenty-one Gotdamn years old!  I suggest you start acting as adults toward your little brother and grant him the same damn privilege.

“Did he say something to you, Dad?”

“He didn’t have to.  I hear you men ragging his ass;— he’s hurt and embarrassed by it.  Besides, I think you men are way off base here. He left here this evening almost in tears.  It didn’t take no rocket scientist to figure out why.”

“We never thought,—” Dwayne started, but dad interrupted him.

“That’s jest’ it!  You men didn’t think! That’s why I’m tell’n ya,’ you need to seriously rethink this one.  He’s a damn good kid and loves the two of you without question. He’s proved himself over and over. He’s gone to the wall for both of you. Cut ‘em some slack, gentlemen.”

Dad got up from the table and started clearing the dishes. The conversation was over.  He made his point and Dwayne and I sat there looking at each other knowing we had no defense. Dad was right, we just never stopped to think about it. My brother was nailed to one barn door and me to the other. I usually spoke for my brother and me, but Dwayne surprised me.

“You’re right, Mr. Longhorn,— we ain't got no defense.  We been doing it so long it jes’ became sort of a thing we do.  He’s so good natured  we jes’ thought he understood we was kidding.  We didn’t take his feelings into consideration and we should have.  God knows we love our little brother and would go to the wall for him in a second.  I guess the bottom line is, if you truly love somebody you don’t treat ‘em that a’ way.  We’re  sorry, Mr. Longhorn, of course we’ll stop immediately.  You don’t have to worry none, Sir, about us doing it in your house no more.  I guarantee we won’t be doing it any place,— right, bro?”

“Couldn’ta’ said it better myself, brother.  We’re really sorry, Dad, I wish you’d a' said something sooner. Do you think we should apologize to him?”

“I think the less said about it the better.  Jes’ stop doing it.”

“We promise, Mr. Longhorn, we will. Actually, I feel kinda ashamed of myself.”

“Yeah,— me, too, brother.”  I supported my brother.

 * * * * * * *

We kept our word to dad and didn’t tease our little brother again. When he realized we totally stopped our kidding, Dwayne and I watched him change into a fine adult young man we became more and more proud of.  He loved us and my dad without question, but now he found himself free to love without being embarrassed about it.  He became more open with us and shared many things with Dwayne and me he never told us before. His relationship with my dad became redefined in everyone’s mind.  They truly loved each other but as adult men who knew the flow of life and appreciated its goodness.

The three of us turned twenty-one.  Our eighteenth birthday seemed a lot more important to us than our twenty-first.  We sort of sailed through it attaching little importance to it.  We could now drink, but none of us did. The three of us tasted it from time to time, decided we didn’t care for it and could live quite happily without it.  We would sometimes try a glass of wine at dinner with Mr. Wainright and Sticker. It was okay, but I’d much rather had a tall mason jar of iced tea. Sticker gave Dwayne and me permission to call him ‘Sticker’ within the same week he told our little brother.  He felt we all passed his criterion for manhood.

* * * * * * *

I found myself growing more and more restless as time went on.  I wanted to go out and see the world, but I felt trapped at home with dad.  I tried to get dad to go rodeoing with me for just one year, but he wouldn’t. We’d been traveling all over going to rodeos anyway.  How much different could it be to just stay on the road for a year?  I mentioned I might like to go back to Texas to meet my granddad.  Boy, was that was a disaster?  (author’s note: see chapter one.)  I loved my dad and would never consciously harbor any feelings of resentment; however, Mr. Winchester was quick to point out what our conscious mind won’t admit, or we choose not to deal with, our subconscious mind will automatically do it for us for better or for worse.

We never really argued as such.  It became more of a battle of the wits with dad lambasting me with his vented rage using the most colorful words imaginable.  He would trip my internal funny bone, and I’d say something equally ridiculous that would have us holding each other with laughter.  We’d have our say and usually end up in bed fucking like snakes.  That was all well and good, but I knew something deep inside me felt like I was about to explode.  Rance pulled me aside one night and asked me what was wrong. I realized I must have been wound pretty damn tight for him to notice.

Dwayne was still living with the Winchesters and paid his own way.  They set a reasonable fee for room and board and he and Rance were more than happy to pay.  The Winchesters were thrilled Dwayne chose to stay with them after high school.  I couldn’t visit Dwayne too often or I’d be fat as a pig. Donna always had some new cake or pie we just had to try, and they were always delicious. They couldn’t do enough for him or me for that matter.  One afternoon, while I was visiting Dwayne, Mr. Winchester asked to talk with me alone in his office.  Spencer never invited you to his office unless he had something of importance to discuss with you.

“You need somebody to talk with, Casey?”  he asked me.

“Talk about what, Mr. Winchester?”

He just sat there, leaned back in his big chair and smiled knowingly at me. He didn’t have to say anything, he knew I understood what he was talking about.  I was emotionally cornered, and what does one do in a situation like that? Right! I immediately burst into tears.  He didn’t try to comfort me, he just let me cry until I got it out.  He knew I’d come around in a minute.

“It’s simple, Mr. Winchester, I wanna’ go and see a little of the world outside of our town or the towns dad and I rodeo in. Over the last several years, you know dad and I’ve gotten to be better’n better ropers. We’ve won almost everything in our area.  There’s a few major cities in Arizona and New Mexico we ain’t made it to but we made enough rodeos to be ranked number four team in the nation. We could go all the way to the top. Aside from being fun, we could win one hell of a lot of money.

I wanna’ go rodeo and I asked dad to come along jes’ for a year and he won’t.  The truth is, I can understand why he don’t want to. He’s been out there, he’s seen the world,  he’s comfortable and more’n happy jes’ to live his life right here. It’s all right for him to take trips with me to local rodeos and even a few out of state, but his base is here.  His roots are here.  He makes me feel like I’m asking too much of him, and I feel I’ve been faithful to him since my momma died; I feel like he could bend just a little and go rodeoing with me for a year.  One year,— that’s all I’m asking.

“Are you starting to feel resentful towards your dad?”

“I don’t know if it’s resentment, Mr. Winchester,— more like resigned disappointment.”

“That’s the best damn definition I ever heard for resentment, Son.”  Mr. Winchester laughed.  “‘Resigned disappointment,’ I’m gonna’ make a note of that.”  he wrote something on a pad.  “Okay, I know you well enough you ain’t gonna’ admit to any resentment towards your dad.  I’ve seen the way you and Vince’s relationship has grown over the last several years, and you’d rather sit on a red ant hill than hurt your dad.”

“Oh, hell no!  I don’t love him that much, Mr. Winchester!”  I laughed and Spencer broke up.
“You know damn well what I mean, boy!” Spencer smiled at him.

“Yes, Sir, I do. I’m frustrated.  I can’t leave him, Mr. Winchester, I love him too damn much, and he needs me. I ain’t ashamed to admit I need him, too.  He’s closed the door on talk’n with me about it.  We could go without no problems.  Bodey and Flynn are excellent hands.  They could easily run the ranch by themselves.  My little brother knows more about the ranch operation than I do. Dad talks to him more’n me about those things.  He could run that damn ranch blindfolded, and he’d love to do it for us.”

“I’m sure he would, and I think the ranch would be in good hands. You’d probably come back to find he’s tripled your income from it.”  Spencer laughed and I agreed with him. “I know he stayed with your dad the time you and Dwayne were away helping Rance. Your dad seemed comfortable with Logan staying with him.  You think your little brother would stay with your dad for a while so you could get away?”

“For a year or more, Mr. Winchester?”

“Sure!  What would your dad do if the draft was still in operation, and you got drafted to serve two years in the army?”

“Well, first of all, I wouldn’t have to go because he’s legally handicapped, I’m his only son and he needs me.”

“That’s true, but think about it as if you didn’t have that option.  Let’s just say you had no choice, you had to go.  What would he do?”

“He’d have to git somebody else to take care of him, I guess, until I got back.  I see what chur’ git’n at.  It make sense.  I don’t know’s I could ask that of my brother, and I’d have one hell of a time convincing my dad.”

“Won’t hurt none to ask your brother.  He may surprise you. Won’t hurt none to put it to your dad, neither.  He let your little brother take care of him once.  He set a president. He might consider it again.”

“Lord knows, our little brother is full up to the brim with surprises.  He’s hang’n around here close to home for some reason.  Says he taking pre-med courses at University of California San Diego this fall. Now, he thinks he wants to become a surgeon.  Know’n him, he will, too, if’n he sets his mind to it.  I have a feeling he’ll do it this time.”

“You know, Casey, so do I.  I told his daddy the same thing the last get together us men had at his place.”

Since the incident with the Colonel, all the men who were involved and several who were just invited met every last Friday of the month, to have dinner and socialize.  Something in that incident bonded most of them together, and they talked about forming a lodge of some kind.  They had enough mavericks and free thinkers they decided all the fall-de-rall of a club would be more than they wanted to put up with.  It would probably end up being little more than a social club anyway so why not just keep it that way.

“Are you suggesting I talk with my little brother and feel him out about it?”

“It’s a start.  Donna and I are having dinner at Sidney and Sticker’s tomorrow evening.  You’re dad told me you and he were invited with Rance and Dwayne.  Rance is in town for the long weekend, and he’ll be staying either here or out to your place with Dwayne.”

“Yeah, dad said to leave tomorrow night open we were having dinner with our little brother and his men.”

“His men?  I like that, you come up with some great twist of words sometime, Son.  That pretty much describes them.  If I get a chance, do you want me to talk with your dad about the situation?”

“I don’t want him to think I put you up to it, Mr. Winchester,— so let’s just say, I’ll leave it up to you.  Use your best judgement.  I don’t want him upset all weekend.”

“Well, you can help.  Make sure you arrange it with your brothers to go to Logan’s room to check out something and leave us older folks alone.”

“I will, Mr. Winchester. As I get older I began to see the distance in age between my dad and I growing smaller.”

“That’s natural.  It’ll probably continue for a while, but he’ll always be your dad.”

“Thanks, Mr. Winchester.  I appreciate you taking your time to talk with me. You’ve given me a bit of hope.  I ain’t a’ gonna’ git my hopes all built up too high. I don’t see him changing his mind. Maybe I’ll talk to my little brother after dinner.”

“Good idea, Son.  Well,— I’ll take you back to your brother and look forward to seeing you tomorrow night.”

* * * * * * *

Dinner the next evening at Sidney and Sticker’s was a treat. They never did anything to prepare or serve dinner.  They had a chef come in and a staff to wait on us.  It was great. Dad and I even wore our best cowboy duds.  We didn’t feel out of place because Rance and Dwayne went with us and Frank and Curley were there as well.  As pleasant surprise to all of us Sheriff Leland Bard and his wife were there.

Everyone had a good time but after dessert Logan asked Dwayne and I to come to his room to see something on his computer.  We excused ourselves, thanked Mr. Wainright and Sticker for a wonderful dinner,  and left the older folk to have more coffee and after dinner drinks if anyone wanted one.  The talk around the table was light and funny.  The sheriff was there, anything and everything was fair game for a laugh.  He kept us laughing all through dinner.

The sheriff’s wife and Donna Winchester excused themselves to go into the living room to have another cup of coffee and chat.  The men were left alone. Talk came around to how Rance and Dwayne were doing and whether Lamar was getting out of Marines in two more years or was he going to reenlist again?

“I didn’t say much when he told us he wanted to reenlist after his two years.” Rance commented, “He talked to me about his options. I know he talked to the rest of you men. He’s an intelligent man and was weighing all sides.  His love for my son is unquestioned; however, I jes’ had a feeling he was gonna’ reenlist, so it wasn’t such a shock to me. I warned Dwayne I felt that’s what he was gonna’ do. I told him not to build up his hopes for the immediate future.  He might have to share Lamar with the Marines for a while longer. 

I told Lamar  he always had a home to come to on the ranch with me and Dwayne.” said Rance, “He’s done almost two years on this hitch and he’s got two more to go. They’ll go by quickly enough; more quickly than Dwayne realizes. Lamar’s found a home in the Marines and he’s good at what he does.  He’s liked by everyone and is rising steadily in the ranks.

He got another promotion last month from Sergeant to Staff Sergeant. It means more pay for him and a bit more leave every year.  As you all know he’s spent the last three years of his leave on the ranch with us. I had some apprehensions at first about his and Dwayne’s relationship, but I don’t know more.  For such a big man, he’s one of the most kind, gentle,  thoughtful, and charming men I’ve ever met in my life. The more I’m around the man and git to know him the more I love him.  My son couldn’ta’ done no better, but he coulda’ done a lot worse for a mate.”

“Amen to that, brother.” said my dad and echoed by all the other men.

“Things all right with you and Casey, Vince?”  Sidney asked.

My dad grinned and looked around the table at his close friends.  

“Well,— I guess it ain’t no secret.  It’s hard to keep secrets in this damn town;  however, I wouldn’t change it for the world. I like living in a small town like ours. You lay down roots and you build friendships that last a lifetime. I suppose you all know Casey’s been after me to go on the circuit with him and leave the ranch with Bodey and Flynn.  Casey wanted to ask his little brother to run the operation. That boy knows as much about the ranch as Casey and I do. He could run it in his sleep.”

Everyone laughed and agreed.

“I just can’t go on the circuit for several reasons.  The main one is, it would mean a lot of traveling, working with the ponies day after day, living in Casey’s Rambling Ramada as he calls it. While it’s considerably more comfortable than the camper was, it’s still inconvenient.  There are a couple other reasons I won’t go into, but I just don’t feel like I can.  I know I’ve disappointed him, and now he wants to go out on his own. My boy’s talking about being gone for possibly a year or two, and I don’t know if I can do without him that long.  That’s about it.  I’m between a rock and a hard place.”

“Lemme’ ask you a question, Vince.” said Spencer Winchester, “Suppose he got drafted and was taken away from you for a couple of years?  What would you do?”

“I’d have to git me someone to assist me who I could trust and feel comfortable with. You men know I lost my legs in Nam, and I need assistance ever’ evening to shower and clean up. I have to have somebody there ever' night in case the house catches on fire to help me get my legs on and get out.  Living that close and depending on somebody would be difficult for me unless it was someone I trusted and cared about.”

“Do you have someone who might do it for you?”  Spencer asked knowing the answer.

“Well,— not really.  Little bit was kind and generous enough to stay with me several weeks while Dwayne and Casey went to play cowboy with Rance, here.  I love Logan like he was my own boy, he knows it, but I couldn’t ask him to live with me for a couple of years.”

Sidney and Sticker started laughing.  Everyone looked at them.

“Have you asked him, Vince?”  Sidney Wainright asked.

“I’d ask you and Sticker first, Sid.”

“He ain’t our boy no more, Vince. He’s a grown man. He’s twenty-one years old. He makes his own decisions. Don’t mean he won’t ask us for advice, but he’s his own man now. For all practical purposes, he’s as much your boy now as he is ours.  He really loves and admires you, Vince, and Sticker and I are convinced it’s a heathy, mature love.  He thinks on you as his second dad.  I done talked it over with Sticker,  and he agreed with me to tell you some things.  I don’t think I’m betraying my boy’s trust by telling you this.

You, Casey, Rance and Dwayne are the main reasons he came home from college. He has no intention of returning to Stanford. He's seen this coming for a good while now;  long before we did and he told Sticker and me in no uncertain terms he planned to stay with you while Casey was gone no matter how long it takes,— one year or three. He told us it was the main concern of his life right now. He said you and his brothers have gone to he wall for him, and he wants to be there for you and Casey.  My boy’s dead serious, Vince.  He convince me and Sticker.

I made an ass of myself and accused him of  having a school boy’s crush on you, and he was setting himself up for hurt.  Not that you would ever hurt him, but he’d do it to himself.  That little sucker nailed me to the barn door.  What was the term you used, Sticker?”

“He set chu’ up and shot chu’ down.”  Sticker told him laughing.

“He convinced me, Vince. He’s got it all planned out. That’s why he’s starting school at U.C.S.D. this fall. He’s planning on going to school during the day, so he can be with you in the evenings.  He said that’s mainly when you need someone; in the mornings to git chu' going and the evenings to assist you getting to bed.”

“He’s right about that. Damn 'nat kid,— you’n Sticker couldn’t a’ raised him no better, Sid.  Are you sure you and Sticker are okay with this?”

“More sure than I’ve ever been about anything he’s chosen to do. He dead set on doing it, Vince.  All you have to do is ask him.”

“Well, that’s not quite all there is to it, gentlemen. I don’t know if Casey’s aware of it,— I ain't said nothing or talked to him about it, but I’m probably guilty of the greatest sin. I’ve fallen in love with my own son, gentlemen.  I don’t know’s I could give him up for that long.”

“Hell, that ain’t no sin, Vince!” spoke up Leland Bard.  “We’ve all seen it happening since Frances died.  No one said nothing to you because, to be honest, I think all of us felt it was the right thing for both of you.  Somehow, you two just seemed like you was meant to be together.  Sure, it’s a little unorthodox, but what the hell, the folks what loves you and Casey are the only ones who count anyways.  We don’t give a shit.  Personally, I’ve always thought it was pretty damn nice.  You couldn’ta’ raised Casey no better neither.”

“Here, here!” echoed the other men agreeing with the sheriff.

“If you try to hold on to that boy, Vince, you’re gonna’ lose him.”  Frank Mayhew surprised everyone by speaking up.  “He loves you deeply, but he don’t realize he’s ‘in’ love with you yet; and, it ain’t something you can tell him. He has to come to it by his-self.  You’re gonna’ have to let him go for him to discover what’s he’s missing at home.  Then it has to be his choice to come back.  When he does,— I promise you,— he’ll never leave you again.”

“Well said, Mr. Mayhew! Truer words were never spoken, Sir.” said Spencer Winchester.

“I gotta’ agree with Frank, brother.” said Rance Harding.

“Seems to me like you don’t have no excuse for letting the boy go, Vince.” Sidney Wainright quietly told my dad. “Sticker and I talked before ya’ll got here and came up with the same thing Frank jes’ told ju.’ If you don’t let Casey go, he’ll try hard not to, but eventually he’ll resent you for it.”

My dad sat there in silence. Tears came to his eyes.
“I guess I’ve known all along I’m gonna’ have to let him go.  God knows, I don’t want to.  My dad never once showed any affection for me or my younger brother. Rance, here, can tell ya.’ We grew’d up together. None of you men know this, but Rance and Dwayne are my cousins.  That’s why Rance and Casey have the same color eyes. Rance grew up with me and my brother on his family’s ranch; one over from ours.  The only love I ever knew as a boy was from this man sitting next to me, my little brother, and a big, wonderful man named Bubba Swansey.  I guess I’ve gone too far in the opposite direction by loving my son too much. Now it’s gonna’ rip my damn heart out to say goodbye to him. God knows, I love that boy.”

My dad broke into tears and Rance put his arm around him to comfort him. There wasn’t a dry eye among the stoic cowboys. They knew my dad was hurting deeply. They felt and shared his pain.

* * * * * * *

Meanwhile, we were in our little brother’s room looking at some wild new software he designed and was trying to get marketed. Dwayne and I thought he'd make a fortune on it.  One thing led to another and we began to talk.

“Have you said anymore to your dad about going on the rodeo circuit, Case?”  Logan asked

“Naw, little brother, that’s a closed subject.  I told him I wanted to go on my own if he didn’t wanna’ go with me,— but I can’t. He knows I can’t, and I won’t.  I can’t leave him alone. I love him too damn much to do that to him. Besides, I don’t know how long I’d be gone; a year, maybe two.  It would really be stretching the boundaries of friendship to ask you to stay with him.”

“Why?”  Logan asked.

“Well,— it would really be a lot to ask of you.”

“What?  To stay with your dad,— a man I love and respect,— a man I consider my mentor and second dad?  Could I stay ever’ evening for a couple of years with him?  Humm,— lemme’ check my schedule.”  Logan licked his thumb, turned to his desk to open a daily planner. “Let’s see,— ah yes,— I’m gonna’ be attending UCSD for about three years.  I planned to live at home anyway.  Your ranch ain’t that much further.  Humm,— It’ll be tough, but I think I can work it into my schedule.” he smiled at me and continued, “Look,— I love your dad, Casey. I love him like a second dad.  I love him like I love you and our brother; however, I ain’t got no school boy crush on Mr. Longhorn!”  Logan stated emphatically.

“I know that, little bit, and I’m so sorry we kidded you about it. We carried it much too far. You didn’t deserve that.  We jes’ thought you knew we was kidding. It didn’t matter whether you realized it or not, it was the wrong thing to do to a brother we love as much as you. I guess we never would’ve realized it if dad hadn’t level both barrels at us and pulled the trigger. Weren’t much left of Dwayne and me but a few tufts of hair.”  we laughed.

“He sure did, little bit, and that man weren’t kid’n, none, neither. He read us the fuck’n riot act!  I recited the old story about how the cow ate the cabbage in my sleep for a month. I never felt so bad in my life when he made us realize what we done. I’m so sorry, too, little brother.  You notice we ain’t razzed you none about it in months?”

“Yeah, I wondered what happened.  Mr. Longhorn did that for me?”

“Damn straight, little brother!  I ain’t never see my daddy that mad since I was ten years old, and threw butter been hulls over the fence for the milk cow to eat.  My mom and I spent all afternoon shell’n butter beans out of our garden for dinner. We had a big bowl full of hulls left over. Dad told me to take ‘em down to the chicken coop, throw ‘em in for the chickens, they’d eat ‘em, and it’ud be good for ‘em.  I didn’t wanna’ walk all the way down ‘nair behind ‘nat damn barn in the dark to the chicken coop. It was spooky as hell down ‘nair. I was jest’ a kid, and hated to go down ‘nair at night.

I passed our old milk cow, and gave her a couple a’ them hulls. She loved ‘em, so I thought, ‘What the fuck,— chow down girlfriend.  Dad’ll never know I didn’t feed ‘em to the chickens.’ I gave her a big ole bowl full of ‘em.  How was I to know they’d cause massive gas build up in a cow’s stomach?  She swelled up like the fuck’n Goodyear blimp and dad went nuts when I told him what I done. I think it was the closest I ever came to my dad hitting me. He had to get the vet out a’ bed to come out and relieve the pressure from the gas what built up in her stomach or she would a’ died.  The vet took a giant needle like thing and jabbed her in the side with it all the way into her stomach. I felt bad for Flossy,— God, it had to hurt!”

 Dwayne and Logan were holding each other laughing.

“You could hear the damn gas escaping as she deflated like a fuck’n balloon you let the air out of;— and, stink!  Hoe-lee shit!  Y'ain't never smelled nothing  s’bad in your life!  I was kinda hoping she’d fly around the lot like a balloon when you released it.”

We were laughing our ass’s off.

“If’n that weren’t bad enough the vet had to take the garden hose, shove it up her butt and wash all them hulls out of her stomach. God, did it stink?! It cost dad a couple hunnert bucks. He made me pay for it,— he took it out of my allowance. Hell, I didn’t get no allowance until I was sophomore in high school.

I didn’t git no lick’n ‘cause I threw myself on the mercy of the court and claimed ignorance. I didn’t know them damn butter bean hulls would do that to a cow. It weren’t the fact I gave ‘em to the cow what pissed dad off so much as me not obeying him and doing what he told me. He sure gave me one hell of a lecture, though, and I didn’t watch no T.V. for a month.  I’ll never forgit that as long as I live, and you know what?  I ain’t never fed no butter bean hulls to no cow again. I won’t even eat butter beans!”

We were rolling on our little brother’s bed with laughter.

About that time dad and Rance hollered up to us it was time to leave.  We gave our little brother a big hug and a kiss.

“Tomorrow’s Saturday,— you still coming over, little brother?”  I asked him.

“Yeah, I was planning on it.  We gonna’ built that other bird pen tomorrow?”

“If’n we can.  If we decide we don’t wanna’ do it we’ll find some’um else to do.”

“Okay, fine. I’d enjoy spending the day with you guys.  You gonna’ be there, big bro?”

“Yeah,— hell, we’re caught up at the ranch and Curley and Frank are gonna’ be there.  Since dad’s in town for the long weekend he decided we should spend some time with our kin folks.”  Dwayne laughed.

“I’ll see ya’ll in the morning, then.”

“Come for breakfast, little bit, we’ll make extra.”

“I’ll be there. I love you two.”

“We shore’ nuff love you, little brother.”

Dwayne and I hugged and kiss our little brother. We went downstairs and said our goodbyes to everyone and drove home in Dwayne’s truck.  Dad invited Dwayne and Rance to stay the night, and they decided they would.  They always stayed in the same room.  Dad didn’t feel like getting into the shower again.  We cleaned up before we went to dinner anyway; however, it was just long enough for him to develop his signature smell that I loved so much.  I went to the shower to clean myself and insert my plug in case he wanted some of his boy’s butt.

He played with it a little, but he didn’t seem too interested in fucking me, so I sucked him off.  I hadn’t given him a good blow job in a while. I forgot how wonderful my dad tastes.  I thought I was going to have to do like our little brother and get me some good, cowboy dick sometime during the day.  We went to sleep, but in the wee hours of the morning I was awakened when I felt my plug pop out of my butt and be replaced swiftly but surely with his big cowboy dick.

I think that fuck was the sweetest fuck’n my old man ever gave me.  He fucked me until the sun came up. I had tears in my eyes as he reached his gentle climax and pumped load after load of his hot, cowboy spunk into my eagerly awaiting ass.  I flooded a towel I had handy and waiting.  I think he was trying to tell me with that fuck, no matter our disagreements or how far apart we might be, I would always be his boy and he would always love me.

* * * * * * *

Dwayne and I started raising parakeets in our pen the three of us built five years ago. It was still standing, strong and as fine looking as it was when we built it.  Our little brother’s engineering skills were a marvel. We made quite a bit of money selling them to pet shops all over Southern California and we even learned how to ship them successfully.  After deductions for feed and supplies we equally divided the money between us.  Some months we did better than others but we were making on an average two hundred a month. One hundred bucks apiece spending money per month didn’t hurt.

Heady with our limited success, we thought we’d like to expand to raising cockateels.  We could get four times the money for them as parakeets.  After breakfast we decided to build it. We wanted to build a larger and better pen than our first effort. We even went out and bought good material for this one so we didn’t have to make do with junk wood.

Once again we enlisted the help of our little brother, and he didn’t let us down. He gave us a detailed list of what to buy at the hardware store.  He had it figured down to the nail. Then,  he decided we never got anything right so he’d better go with us. He came up with a simple but elegant plan.  It would outshine the other pen and did when we finished.  It was a beauty.

We were completely finished by about three in the afternoon.  We decided to go into the house to cool off and get something to drink. Rance drove into town to get some stuff for dad to barbeque that evening. He always bought enough to feed Cox’s army. There was more than enough food for all of us.  When little bit was with us we treated him as family. We just included him in everything so we knew he’d be with us for dinner.  While we were having a soda dad came to the door of the kitchen.

“Little bit, can I talk with you in my office for a few minutes?”

“Sure, Mr. Longhorn, be right there.”  

Dad turned and left.  Our little brother looked at us, and I shrugged like I had no idea what he wanted, but Dwayne winked at him meaning he thought little bit was about to get lucky.  He grinned real big set his empty soda can down and left for dad’s office.  Dwayne and I went up to my junk room to give them some privacy.  There was no insulation in our old house and you could hear through the walls.

“C’mon in, Son. Close the door behind ju’ and turn the latch.  Come,— have a seat.”  

Logan was surprised.  My dad only did that when he knew little bit needed some cowboy dick.

“Son, I wasn’t kidding the other day when I told ju’ that was the best damn blow job you ever gimme.’  I been think’n on it all morning, and I jes’ can’t seem to get my old cowboy dick to go down.  Think you could do an old man a favor and make it go down for me?”

“It would be an honor and a pleasure, Sir.”  Little bit replied.

Dad winked at him, got up from behind his desk and walked over to his favorite, overstuffed, wingback chair, turned around, undid his huge rodeo belt buckle, unbuttoned his Wranglers, dropped them to his boot tops and sat down.  He wasn’t kidding.  Our little brother told us later he was hard as a rock.  Dad motioned for little bit to get on his knees in front of him.  Logan was in front of my dad real quick and on his knees making love to his adopted dad’s stiff cowboy penis.  He got my old man off in nothing flat and left him gasping for breath.

“Damnation, Son. I ain’t even gonna’ tell ya’ how good that one was.  Woah, dogies!”

Little bit was still swallowing dad’s spunk and began to clean him up real good with his tongue.  He got under his foreskin really good and made my dad winced a couple of times because his dick head was so sensitive after he came. When Logan finished he grabbed a towel dad kept in a cabinet nearby and dried dad’s dick.  He assisted my dad to stand and raised his Wrangles for him.

Dad took it from there, buttoned them up, and set his big belt buckle where he wanted it.  He took little bit into his arms, gently and lovingly kissed him. Logan only made love to my old man a couple of times, but he enjoyed it each time.  This was different.  Mr. Longhorn seemed to be searching his mouth for the flavor of his own come.  It really turned Logan on. Finally he stopped but continued to hold the young man.

“Thanks for that, Son.  I shore’ nuff appreciate it.  I love you, boy.”

“Anytime, Sir! You got the best tasting come, Mr. Longhorn.  As always, it was an honor and a privilege, Sir, and you know how much I love you.”

“Enough to live with this old man for a while?”

“I don’t wanna’ make a fool of myself, Mr. Longhorn, by jumping about with glee, so would a simple ‘yes’ be a good enough answer, Sir.”

“Damn, I was kind a’ look’n forward to you jump’n around.” they shared a laugh, “You could never make a fool of yourself with me, boy!  ‘Yes’ is perfectly good enough, but chu’ know what else it means, don’t chu’?” Logan grinned and nodded his head ‘yes.’  “It means you’re gonna’ have to start wearing that plug again.” dad grinned wickedly and winked at him.

“Oh, no, no, Mr. Longhorn, let Casey have that one.  I bought me a new one; a bigger one you’re jes’ gonna’ love, Sir.  I been training on it for several months now.  I’m ready, Sir.”

Little bit was so enthused dad couldn’t help but laugh.

“God, I love you, boy!  Ain’t gonna’ give you back to yore’ old man fer damn sure this time. I done told him a long time ago, I was gonna’ steal you away from him and ole Sticker and make you my boy.”

“Well,— you did, Mr. Longhorn, but you didn’t have to try too hard.”

“You give any thought to calling me ‘Vince’ instead of Mr. Longhorn, Son?”

“Please,— don’t make that a condition, Sir.  I don’t know’s I could ever call you by your first name.  To me, you’ll always be Mr. Longhorn.”

“You’re some piece of work, Son.  I told jur’ two daddies last night they couldn’t a’ raised you no finer,— and I meant it!”

“Thanks, Sir.  Hell, I been telling ‘em that for a couple of years now. I think they’re finally realizing I ain’t gonna’ cause ‘em no grief.  Thanks for reenforcing what I been telling ‘em, Sir.”

“Is it true you been planning on this for some time now?”

“Yes, Sir.  I saw what was going on, and I knew it was only a matter of time. I wanted to be here for you and my bother.  If it takes Casey a year or three years to find himself, I’ll be here for you.  You and Case helped me make up my mind what I wanna’ do in life. I’m gonna’ go through medical school at U.C.S.D. and I’ll be involved with that for at least three years, maybe more.  I’ll be here in the mornings and evenings. If for some unforeseen reason I should have to stay away for a night, I thought we might get Flynn to give you a hand.  He and Bodey could sleep in one a’ the bedrooms up here.”

“Damn, you done some think’n on this.”  Dad was amazed.

 “I have, Sir. I told my daddy and my wrangler,  helping you and my brother right now was the most important thing in my life, and I meant it, Mr. Longhorn.”

“I told ju’ last week, I wouldn’t want nobody but you to gimme’ a hand.  I don’t think I could let my boy go if’n you weren’t here, Son.  I even had thoughts of doing away with myself because I felt like I was jest’ in my boy’s way.”

“Don’t chu’ never think that a’ way, Mr. Longhorn. What about the people who love and depend on you, Sir,— like my daddy and Sticker; like Dwayne and Mr. Harding; like the Winchesters; like Bodey and Flynn; like Curley and Frank; like Sheriff Bard, you’d break that old man’s heart; and what about me, Sir, I need you, Mr. Longhorn?  We all need you in our lives. Do you think we could a’ done what we done for Dwayne if we didn’t have your love and support?  I’ll answer for you, ‘no,’ we couldn’t. It ain’t all gonna’ be a free ride, ya’ know?”

“How’s that, Son?”  Vince was almost afraid to ask a preloaded question.  

“I’m gonna’ need your support to get through medical school. I know you’ll kick me in the butt if I get bored or start lagging behind.  I know you well enough to know you won’t put up with my shit for a minute. My daddy and my wrangler were always too soft on me. I could get away with murder with them, and they were none the wiser.  I done told my daddy,— Mr. Longhorn will kick my butt up between my shoulder blades so hard I’ll have ta’ stand on my head to take a shit! I’m afraid you’re gonna’ have to raise another boy, Sir.”

“I think I can handle that, Son.  Maybe we should start training you to sit on the toe of my big cowboy boot if’n I’s gonna’ be plant’n it up yore’ butt when you don’t do good in school.”

“That’s a good idea, Mr. Longhorn.  I hadn’t thought of that.  When can we start, Sir?”

My dad couldn’t stop laughing.  

“Okay, Son, I’m gonna’ tell your brother this evening over dinner he’s free to go. It’s gonna’ break this old cowboy’s heart to tell him, but I know I have to. I may need ju’ to lean on for a while.”

“I think I can understand that, Sir.  It ain’t gonna’ be no trip around the May pole for me neither to say goodbye to my big brother. Jes’ lemme’ know, Mr. Longhorn, and I’ll be here the day he pulls out, Sir.”

“God, I love you boy.”

“I love you, too, Mr. Longhorn.  Don’t worry none, Sir, I know you’re the only one for him.  He jes’ ain’t realized it yet, but he will. He’ll come back, I promise.”

 * * * * * * *

That night, over dinner, my dad casually told me my little brother agreed to stay with him until I got back.  If I wanted to go,— I was free to go.  I think he chose to tell me while we were having dinner because he needed the love and support of his family. By that time, little bit was all ready considered part of our family, and there was no doubt in his mind my dad loved him.  They had a special relationship all dad’s life that was shaped and formed over a period of several years.

It didn’t just happen overnight. My little brother didn’t try to walk in, take over and replace me in dad’s life. He wasn’t like that anyway.  No,— they worked at it, defined it, and shaped it until they were comfortable with it.  It became like a living entity, in and of itself with them; one that I was not included in; however, that wasn’t bad, because it sustained my dad for a rough period in his life, and he never forgot the love he held in trust for his boy, Logan.  His big cowboy arms were always open for our little brother.  

End of Chapter 24 ~ Texas Longhorns
Copyright 2005 ~ Waddie Greywolf
All rights reserved ~
Mail to: waddiebear@yahoo.com